Whats the funniest story you've heard /lit/ and where did you hear it?
>>8163254
not really a story but:
my grandfather once gave my nephew a penny for christmas. he then said 'don't spend it all in one place' before bursting into laughter.
>I've never laughed so hard in my life
>>8163395
that's gold m8
>>8163254
A joke about Speedy Gonzales I've read here.
>Two black guys are sitting with them at the table. Both sport faded jeans, T-shirts, and leather jackets. One has reflector sunglasses on, the other has a shaved head. Both are glaring at me. I stick out my hand at a crooked angle, trying to mimic a rapper. "Hey," I say. "I'm fresh. The freshest, y'know… like, uh, def… the deffest." I take a sip of champagne. "You know… def ." To prove this I spot a black guy with dreadlocks and I walk up to him and exclaim "Rasta Man!" and hold out my hand, anticipating a high-five. But the nigger just stands there. "I mean" – I cough – " Mon ," and then, with less enthusiasm, "We be, uh, jamming.."
Haha holy shit, he's fucking autistic
Damn ... makes me want to read that.
>>8163222
>mon
based Bateman
>>8163222
is this real because it is cringe as fuck
Rate this.
It's being able to fill a page with a long composite sentence a demonstration of writing skill?
I was trying to acomplish that.
Aprende a usar puntos. Practica unos años y luego vuelve. 2/10
>>8163246
Los puntos no indican que la frase termina?
>>8163207
Omnibus militibus, qui ab urbe tam ardenter amata, illo, quo Romulus conditor inclytus imperii omnem mundum regentis septem colles optimos in orbe terrarum creaverat, loco ab imperatore notissimo, ter consul creato, quinque bellis duellatore, patricio nobillimae generis, C. Metello Rufo, X ac XII legionum imperatore ac ceterum ob mortem alterius consulis IV ac VII imperanti, longissime propter bella a barbaris ac Romanis qui contra rem publicam arma tulere incepta ductis, principes, a gentibus peregrinis ad loca summa lati, Gallorum, quae gentes contra Romam bella multa ac varia ac difficilia ac desperata principibus sic adhortantibus gerunt, omnes Druides in oppidis Galliae collocavere et eis dixere eos, crimina magna contra Galliam regigionesque eius creantes, via Druidum propria, hominibus collocandis et in imagines, quae sicut homines videntur, magnas ligneas imponendis et illis imaginibus ardendis, necatum iri, ut divis placeret et di ipsi Gallos fortiores facerent.
I could continue, but I think the point is made. Anyone can make a very long sentence.
Just got these today. What am I in store for, senpai?
>>8163038
Oh shit! My brother took The Road with him when he moved!
Anyone got a solid place for getting book pdf for android?
>>8163050
read the sticky you filthy pleb
>>8163038
Not familiar with the Lewis title, read that first, let me know hehe
What do you have subscriptions to /lit/?
>NYRB
>Paris Review
>Daedalus
>Lapham's Quarterly
>>8162953
Prozac
nothing, I spend my time reading books, not worthless cultural commentary
>>8163031
this is pretty much true. I used to have a subscription to the paris review because I wanted to keep up on new literature. then i realized that I could dedicate my entire life to reading all the important works from any 10 year period after 1600 and I'd still never read them all
Next year i'm majoring English Literature in uni, what are some basic literate publications I should start with
Ignore Shakespeare because i won't read that
Nice post, friend
>>8162801
how can a publication be illiterate?
>>8162801
also, since when did Shakespeare write papers on literary criticism
I just finished the Inferno and before I move on to the rest of the Comedy I have a question. How do the ancient Greek and Roman gods work in Dante's worldview? There are clearly mythological figures in hell (Charon, the Titans, various heroes), and I recall Jove and his lightning specifically being mentioned. Did Dante believe these gods existed but were "lesser" than his god? Did he think they were the ancients' misunderstanding of the true god? Were they real figures like the Titans, sent to Purgatory or Paradise (or perhaps to Hell but just not mentioned)?
Dante's cosmology confused me for a while as well, but learning that Ulysses' mountain is Purgatory and reading the last canto of Inferno clarified that.
The Comedy is a work of fiction.
The Greek and Roman gods exist as characters in the book, not reality.
lmao you didnt even read it in ancient latin pleb
pretty much like in milton's paradise lost, it's a typical medieval tradition when the ancient gods were considered devils if understood literally or simply metaphors / fiction characters if understood non literally; christianity is a non-tolerant bitch
p.s. you should consider that the divine comedy is itself deeply affected by aeneid (hence virgil is his companion), that part of it which describes the descending of aenes into the netherworld (that part is clearly affected by homer's odyssey but afaik dante didn't know greek and so didn't read it, there was no available translations of it back then even to latin)
I'm so tired of being sad
I'm in my mid-20s and since I was a very young teen in middle school I have been depressed. Not a week has gone by in the past decade where I haven't thought about suicide. Been to a thousand doctors and tried different medicines. Made a few attempts and fucked up my kidneys permanently from too many sleeping pills.
Just grinding through life missing out on things. I hardly even react to my own sadness anymore, every time I cross a bridge I visualize jumping to my death and the thought doesn't even phase me anymore it's like I expect this normalized reaction from myself. Sometimes I'm too sad to do anything but drink and don't even eat, just alcohol.
And I'm so sick of it. I've reinvented myself, moved away, moved up in the workplace, new clothes, lost weight, everything. But I can't stop wanting to die.
I hate this.
If you want to kill yourself, why don't you want to kill yourself?
Now's your chance!
I, who greatly love both death and life,
Would kill myself too, if I dared kill myself...
If you dare, then be daring!
What good to you is the changing picture of outer images
We call the world?
What good is this cinema of hours played out
By actors with stock roles and gestures,
This colorful circus of our never-ending drive to keep going?
What good is your inner world which you don't know?
Kill yourself, and maybe you'll finally know it...
End it all, and maybe you'll begin...
If you're weary of existing, at least
Be noble in your weariness,
And don't, like me, sing of life because you're drunk,
Don't, like me, salute death through literature!
You're needed? O futile shadow called man!
No one is needed; you're not needed by anyone...
Without you everything will keep going without you.
Perhaps it's worse for others that you live than if you kill yourself...
Perhaps your presence is more burdensome than your absence...
Other people's grief? You're worried
About them crying over you?
Don't worry: they won't cry for long...
The impulse to live gradually stanches tears
When they're not for our own sake,
When they're because of what happened to someone else,
especially death,
Since after this happens to someone, nothing else will...
First there's anxiety, the surprise of mystery's arrival
And of your spoken life's sudden absence...
Then there's the horror of your visible and material coffin,
And the men in black whose profession is to be there.
Then the attending family, heartbroken and telling jokes,
Mourning between the latest news from the evening papers,
Mingling grief over your death with the latest crime...
And you merely the incidental cause of that lamentation,
You who will be truly dead, much deader than you imagine...
Much deader down here than you imagine,
Even if in the beyond you may be much more alive...
Next comes the black procession to the vault or grave,
And finally the beginning of the death of your memory.
At first everyone feels relieved
That the slightly irksome tragedy of your death is over...
Then, with each passing day, the conversation lightens up
And life falls back into its old routine...
Then you are slowly forgotten.
You're remembered only twice a year:
On you birthday and your death day.
That's it. That's all. That's absolutely all.
Two times a year they think about you.
Two times a year those who loved you heave a sigh,
And they may sigh on the rare occasions someone mentions your name.
Look at yourself in the face and honestly face what we are...
If you want to kill yourself, then kill yourself...
Forget your moral scruples or intellectual fears!
What scruples or fears influence the workings of life?
What chemical scruples rule the driving impulse
Of sap, the blood's circulation, and love?
What memory of others exists in the joyous rhythm of life?
I unironically read and enjoy Clickhole articles. Am I a bad person, or just a pleb (or a true patrician)? Should I or should I not kill myself?
http://www.clickhole.com/article/okay-which-one-you-guy-fawkes-motherfuckers-switch-4448
>>8162640
kys
>>8162640
Is clickhole yet another computer generated pos?
I really hope they're trying to be ironic with that one but by the standards of these kind of webshits I suspect they are not.
Why does so much contemporary philosophy say things like "language is the root of all understanding" or "all thought is language?"
I understand that language is important, maybe even fundamental to consciousness, but aren't there many kinds of thought that AREN'T linguistic? How does visualising a triangle involve language unless I try to express what I "believe" or "feel" about it?
>>8162579
you can visualize a triangle but where is that going to get you? if thinking is the basis of philosophy, you need a language to express it.
telepathic philosophy when
>>8162579
Read Jerry Fodor's "Language of Thought". That's where the case is made (whether or not you end up buying it).
We should stop being ironic.
>>8162498
Post irony is worse
>>8162498
I'm not seeing your picture.
>>8162498
new sincerity is shit
I'm in the process of designing a massive fantasy world that will host a life long series of novels.
You lucky sobs get the chance to name it.
Just make sure it's not already the name of a fantasy world.
>>8162485
If we get enough suggestions i'll throw down a strawpoll for the nominated names.
Vice Palatinate
>>8162521
Sounds more like a region.
Adding it to the list though.
I drunkenly bought this book the other night because I hate myself and I totally forgot about it until it came in the mail today. Is it actually worth the read or is it trash?
>>8162443
it helped me
>>8162452
summarize it for me anon
>>8162460
1. Live in a peaceful place like a nice cabin by the lake (if you can't afford this, put up posters of nature scenery in your room)
2. Smile and say hello to everyone (literally everyone) you see.
3. Throw away all your sad music, movies, and books. Only positive sounds and stories are allowed.
4. Put more sweets and junk food in your diet because it's been proven to help depression. Don't worry about getting fat because worrying about health only adds to your stress.
5. Stop posting on 4chan. Instead post on Reddit, which is a much more positive and nurturing place.
Its any good? A vegan friend of mine recommend it saying that was the book that most changed him.
>A vegan friend of mine
>>8162438
>a vegan friend
You must be desperate for human contact.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0O_VYcsIk8
>>8162438
The book's about a monkey who says we should all live in the woods and just shit wherever you feel like it.
>DUDE UNDERAGE GIRLS LMAO
Paola Majistral who may or may not be a teenager
that girl who gets gangbanged on the pool table in V.
Mucho's statutory rape
John Nefastis watching little girls on TV
Bianca
that girl who shelters Plechazunga Slothrop
can't think of any examples post GR though
>>8162394
>that girl who gets gangbanged on the pool table in V.
i dont recall this...what was the scenario
>>8162457
drunks on the mexican parade day or whatever
after benny impresses everyone by calling one girl 'scfacim'