>yfw you write something and its really fucking bad
lets hear what you got, anon. no judging on this board, that's rule number one :^)
Post it asshole
just like this post
Critique thread? All types of literature is welcome.
Do not critique something just because you want yours to be critiqued, critique it if you genuinely have something constructive to add.
Here is my short story.
http://pastebin.com/gds3CyKB
About a school.
http://pastebin.com/28TgF2T4
First Wil and Testicle
1/2
I'm lying down on my synthetic, cat skin, sofa, smoking type O positive laced ketamine, and listening to an audio recording of domesticated penguins having sex.
And I'm writing my masterpiece. My first Wil and testicle. Or, “My First Wil and Testicle”. It's a cop buddy screenplay about a testicle, who after being amputated from an aspiring castrato, leaves his fellow testicle to become a cop. His partner? Former child star, Wil Wheaton.
But all of this writing is giving me jaundice, so I throw the manuscript into the air, demanding it stays there, floating, until I have need of it later. I stab myself in the upper back with my pen, and twist it in until it's about halfway in, and secure, then throw the ketamine pipe on top of my tombstone. Rest in peace, pipe.
Food. I need energy after sucking down horse tranquilizer all day, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And night. And day. And all of the night. Chinese baby pizza. No, you sick fucks, it's not made out of Chinese babies. What kind of monster do you think I am? It's made by Chinese babies. To help pay off debts, some farmers in China sell their excess babies into pizzeria slavery. The ethics are a little sketchy, but damn, these pizzas are incredible. Honey bee crust. Delicious.
When I was older, I couldn't find the ingredients to make even the most basic of pizzas. Pepperoni had been gone for years, hunted to extinction by radical vegan extremists. We thought it an isolated series of incidents, the pepperonis didn't disappear overnight, but one morning we woke from our beds, turned on the television, and the president told us that the very last pepperoni in the world had been destroyed. If the death of pepperoni had been a long drawn out whimpering fart, the death of cheese was a sudden and completely unanticipated diarrhea shit storm violent explosion of a fart. Fuck all that noise, I had decided to revert to my younger self. In a world of pizza.
I'm running late for work. I go to my bathroom and induce vomiting to get rid of the pizza. I need room in my stomach for work, plus I plan to transition to a life of shirtlessness soon, and don't need to build up any excess fat. Brush my teeth, dry them off with an old pair of underwear, and then rub superglue over them. This helps fight the acidity of vomit that attacks the enamel. I look in the mirror and recite my reverse Gatsby opener affirmation before the glue seals my lips to my teeth.
“In my older and less vulnerable days my mother sold me some advice that I tend to forget every day. Whenever you feel like praising any one, just forget that some of the people in this world have had every advantage that you never did.”
I put on two thirds of a shirt (Small incremental steps are best when transitioning to a shirtless lifestyle) and crawl out of my window, ready for work.
>>8216953
2/2 (start of next scene)
Nine in the morning like three bowling pins knocked down by a thunderous God leaving the remaining nine for the great unwashed to aim for to pick up the spare to pick up the toasted french pastries that papa and I prepare every morning spared a morning of empty bellies as they go about their business in businesses or with business partners on their busy days of byzantine barbiturate fueled mock battles while papa has been here since last night painting today's specials on both the glass windows and floors and I have been prepping for that same amount of time drenching bread in time stream harvested pterodactyl egg yolk while speaking french incantations from a long forgotten grimoire recovered from the tomb of Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre but the missing piece of this triumvirate of breakfast fast but not cheap food lords is missing and without that missing piece there will be no one to man the cash register and we will be ruined for the morning rush and we may die. Corncob tortilla. Papa will we die?
How do I write a book in this day and age that becomes a classic? What are some recent books over the past couple decades that you would deem classic either right now or in a few decades and why?
Blood meridian
Lolita
Probably last two true classics
American Pastoral
infinite jest
How can I distinguish well written prose from overwritten purple prose? examples would help.
HISTORY OF THE DECLINE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE
Anything by Lovecraft
>>8216101
well written prose should give you chills and make you feel a little heady, or at the very least leave you in a state of pleasant reflexion while you unweave and examine its construction and meaning at length
purple prose should make you make you feel like the author is trying way too hard to accomplish the former, usually you should instinctually cringe or feel a very natural, almost pleasant, kind of contempt for the author--if it is particularly bad or you are particularly squeamish then embarrassment is not an uncommon emotion
this should come naturally to you depending on how well read you are
>>8216112
is lovecraft the overwritten purple prose?
One of my poems just got accepted for publication to a literary journal. The publishers are asking for a short bio and I'm way too autistic to know what to write. The fuck is my bio supposed to be? I've never been published before and I have 0 previous writing credits.
>>8216096
Congrats.
And relax man. Look in the journal and see what other poets bios tend to include.
They probably want to know your age, location, experience, background etc. in as much detail as the wordcount warrants.
Anon lives with his 14 year old daughter in California. In his spare time, he contributes to his local lepidopteran society and art house cinema.
>>8216104
I literally have zero experience in literary ventures which is what I'm concerned about. I googled what a good bio would be and the first page had this as a good example: Karina Sims is a 26-year-old writer from Beaver Falls, British Columbia, Canada. She is the author of many short stories and an unpublished novel. Her interests include: long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, world domination and cannibalism.
Which tells me this person has no idea what they're talking about.
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt - Palestrina, Mass
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami - Liszt, Le mal du pays
>>8216057
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler - Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory
>>8216057
My Diary, To Be Honest by OP - Crawling, Linkin Park
There was a YA book i read at 13 called Struts and Frets that had a pretty great soundtrack
I'm sick of reading comics I want some great contemporary books
On The Edge by Rafael Chirbes
>>8216017
There are none.
From the question of which you are asking, it seems to me that you are inquiring about some literature written after the beginning of the twenty-first century.
Yes, I suppose I could recommend such a thing, albeit your reading prowess is obviously not that of my own considering your delve into... comics...
No worries, I am here to save the day, and to which book I recommend, is of course, the God Delusion.
Nowhere else will you find such a magnificent portrayal of arguments against the existence of "God".
This book has been my guiding hand, and has shown me the way, my friend. Use it to lead you out of darkness, and if you happen to subscribe to a so-called "God", this will cure you of your illness.
After finishing the book, please refer to the works of Christopher Hitchens, one of the most influential men of our time.
Thank you my good sir, and may your travels of enlightenment be swift and meaningful!
sup /lit/ what do you think?
>>8216001
>>8216007
I'm interested in fiction that is chock-full of esoteric references and terms. In other words, authors who do a lot of name-dropping. Books like The Recognitions, Ulysses, Against Nature, or Pynchon novels come to mind (though preferably not as esoteric as Ulysses, please). I enjoy books like this because A) there's an undeniable satisfaction I get when I understand the reference, almost like a reward for reading about the reference in the past and B) it is a great way to become familiar with new topics and ideas. What have you got, anons?
>>8215996
Dante
>>8216004
Of course, should have included him with the names mentioned :p
Moby-Dick
The Waste Land
What are the essential readings in politics? I've already read Republic, Laws, Politics, Leviathan and The Prince.
>>8215927
Greeks & Econ
Figure it out.
>>8215934
Also, finance (if you didn't include that in econ).
find syllabuses from good schools online.
/fit/ here, been reading the Karamazov Brothers recently. Why is Dmitri so fucking beta? He agrees to fulfill every Grushenka's wish, can he even more faggy?
>>8215921
it is natural for men like you to crave the validation of their existence and get depressed if they fail to feel relevant, responsible.
The best way for a man to cater his need for approval is to serve some woman (and some of her children) through emotional&financial support.
Men are pleased to contribute to someone else life, to support their family.
Why women are a good way to feel relevant? Because women love to be provided for and each woman will always find a man ready to please her.
[for most men, the best feeling of feeling real is when the girl moans from your cock in her pussy]
THe problem for men is that they are disposable in the eyes of each woman, since all men wish to serve the few women who talk to them.
Men must thus invent several ways to please women, invention and creativity which strengthen their feeling of being worthy, relevant, in touch with reality.
Men are too impotent to find other way to feel real.
Once that the a woman replaces a man by another provider, the man gets very upset and depressed.
THis leads men to think that they are better than women, stronger, smarter and that they must built a life outside women. Some men manage to indeed built an empire, but they will always loose it for some women.
Women give meaning to men and betas, no matter how successful outside women, will always give up everything for some relationship with some woman who claim to fancy them.
>>8215924
You seem to be a beta desu, sorry.
>>8215924
yeah nah.
What is your attitude towards narration infested with rare, obscure and outdated words that no one in their right mind uses in real life?
Depends why it's done. Usually it's just showing off and that's stupid. Writing is to communicate.
Dislike it, but not as much as I despise those who find it necessary to complain about it.
I agree with your picture but not with your post. Then again, I'm not a native Anglophone and I've learned the language through media rather than conversation.
Just yesterday I had to google "ignominy", which was pretty annoying since I'm lazy and would rather not put my book down to do such things, but it was simply the most accurate expression for the scene in question. And it's not like learning is bad.
What's the best translation of Anna Karenina & War and Peace?
>>8215892
Maude
>>8215900
Just finished this one and was satisfied with it. Plus Tolstoy endorsed it.
>>8215892
russian
reminder that if you unironically and immediately ridicule or think less of a person because of how they pronounce an author's name, you're a phony pseud
i will say prowst instead of proost until the day i die
i know french, i don't care, it's still wrong
>>8215866
mad monoglot american detected
>>8215866
>buttblasted american detected
Did someone snicker at your 'Camoo' references? Or was it Showpenhauer, Ni-Chii, Haygel or Flawbert?
Finally finished reading this book. Tbh I liked it, even though I think it could have been shorter. How does history view Ayn Rand and her philosophy? What is wrong with following your dreams and pursuing your freedom? I can say, at least for myself, that I'm not a tool of the government and that I will fight for my future to realize my,and Ayn Rand's, dream of freedom.
I think that it's a perfect "what if" scenario if the Soviets won the Cold War. So, /his/, why does this book get so much shit?
>>8215789
>How does history view Ayn Rand and her philosophy?
"Literally who?"
>>8215789
>So, /his/, why does this book get so much shit?
at least make the effort if you're gonna randpost every day.
what the fuck happened to the 'there is to be no discussion on ayn rand' rule? fucking chinese moot
>/his/
know your audience, ya jackass. jk, reading it right now, enjoying the ride so far despite some slow parts and sappy romance. Like the anon above me, i dont think history has really considered Rand that extensively to give an opinion. But it's certainly true that she gets knocked around in intellectual circles