Why is John Green so perfect?
>>8871365
is that Hegel or something
I saw him kick a homeless man in the nuts once so hard that at least a pint of blood ran out his pant leg. John gave him a hundred after that.
>>8871365
It's because you've shitty taste.
In an old beat-down hut in the bayou stood a young woman with scaly bluish green skin, long neon pink hair, and glassy greenish eyes. She was dressed in a strange tribal dress, with a horned beaked skull resting on her head. Dangling from the side of her mouth was a long yellow cigarette holder with a freshly lit cigarette at the tip. She was happily stirring a spoon around a large cauldron that bubbled with an odd liquid. She hummed a song as she smiled, exposing her jagged teeth. Some of her teeth were white, some yellow, some almost black, and one was gone entirely.
Her name is June Mosquito. She's a witch doctor with a thick southern accent. She's partially insane, but doesn't really mind. She's around 26. She's bubbly and energetic, and sometimes comes off as a bit of a hillbilly, with her long messy hair, fondness for moonshine and smoking, and habit of flashing her toothy smile whenever possible. She also has very poor hygiene, as most people could guess from the state of her teeth. She usually lights her cigarette off of a nearby candle, the fire under her cauldron, or whatever else is closest. She loves the various creatures in the swamp, even when they swallow her whole.
She has a pet swamp pig named Hoggis, who's big, green, and covered in mushrooms. She owns a makeshift cannon made out of an old boiler, which she sometimes shoots herself out of to travel. She's rarely seen without her cigarette holder, a family heirloom that used to belong to her mother, and likes to use it to ignite swamp bubbles and light sticks of dynamite. She also sometimes makes big fat cigars out of whatever materials she finds lying around. She brews up various potions in her cauldron, and also occasionally makes moonshine in an old distillery in her basement, which is prone to exploding in her face and covering her with soot. She often smuggles gallons of moonshine in her stomach
Every once in a while, she attempts to make a special kind of moonshine using potion ingredients in her distillery. More often than not, this results in a multicolored mushroom cloud that can be seen for miles, which shoots June off into the night sky, where she vanishes in a twinkle.
She doesn't cook much, but when she does she uses and old barbecue grill she fished out of the e grill is, of course, also prone to exploding in her face. she often offhandedly ashes her cigarette into the food she's making, but she doesn't mind the taste it leaves.
She has two children who are reptilian humanoids like she is. A boy named Jake, and a slightly younger girl named Jane.
Jake has messy pink hair, simple brown clothing, and a reed stalk in his mouth. June enjoys firing him out of the cannon, almost as much as she enjoys firing herself. For his birthday, June usually makes him a swamp cake with cigarettes instead of candles She sometimes likes to swallow her son.
(Part 1.)
(part 2)
June carries around a large wooden club sometimes. It seems ordinary, but it's really a powerful voodoo tool, activated by June igniting it with her cigarette/cigar. When she gets mad at her son, she'll use the club to either bonk him on the head or smack him far off into the sky, where he'll vanish with a twinkle.
June's daughter would be a little girl named Jane with huge messy pink pigtails, a skull on her head, a ragged brown dress, and a huge, tremendously fat cigar, even bigger than her mother's clenched between her grinning teeth at all times. She carries a huge turkey leg with her, which she uses like a club to bonk her brother on her head or smack him off into the sky like her mother does. She also likes to fire him out of a cannon, often hoping to fire him as far as possible. June often lights the cigarette in her holder off of Jane's cigar. Jane has a fondness for fireworks, dynamite, and all things explosive.
The three are a circus act. To get to the circus, they all hop into the cannon. June lets Jane light the fuse with her cigar, and they're blasted out of the bayou and towards the circus tent.
For their act, Jane kisses the fuse of a cannon with the cigar in her mouth, lighting it. which fires Jake across the circus tent and into the awaiting mouth of June, who swallows him whole. After the show, Jake is still in his mother's stomach, and Jane happily presses her ear to her belly to talk to him as June lets kids who watched the show poke June's belly.
For an example scene, the three are watching the moon. For one reason or another, June and Jane ignite their respective clubs with their respective cigars, and simultaneously smack Jake far off into the sky, aiming for the moon. He sails past the moon and vanishes with a twinkle among the stars, and Jane giggles and says that they must have smacked him clear into another galaxy. The two laugh it off, and eventually Jake lands back in front of the hut like a comet
It's intended to be an off the wall slapstick cartoon. Any thoughts?
Not quite sure what the title would be.
>>8871325
two words: Y A
I'm about 5 chapters in so far, this shit isn't fun.
don't you at least like the prose?
>>8871313
That's the only thing about it that I don't completely hate.
>>8871321
why the hate? hate is a pretty strong reaction to art
The golden age was first; when Man yet new,
No rule but uncorrupted reason knew:
And, with a native bent, did good pursue.
Unforced by punishment, un-awed by fear,
His words were simple, and his soul sincere;
Needless was written law, where none opprest:
The law of Man was written in his breast:
No suppliant crowds before the judge appear'd,
No court erected yet, nor cause was heard:
But all was safe, for conscience was their guard.
The mountain-trees in distant prospect please,
E're yet the pine descended to the seas:
E're sails were spread, new oceans to explore:
And happy mortals, unconcerned for more,
Confined their wishes to their native shore.
No walls were yet; nor fence, nor mote, nor mound,
Nor drum was heard, nor trumpet's angry sound:
Nor swords were forg'd; but void of care and crime,
The soft creation slept away their time.
The teeming Earth, yet guiltless of the plow,
And unprovoked, did fruitful stores allow:
Content with food, which Nature freely bred,
On wildings and on strawberries they fed;
Cornels and bramble-berries gave the rest,
And falling acorns furnished out a feast.
The flowers unsown, in fields and meadows reigned:
And Western winds immortal spring maintained.
In following years, the bearded corn ensued
From Earth unasked, nor was that Earth renewed.
From veins of vallies, milk and nectar broke;
And honey sweating through the pores of oak.
So what are the best or better translations of Ovid, /lit/
>This was the Golden Age that, without coercion, without laws, spontaneously nurtured the good and the true. There was no fear or punishment: there were no threatening words to be read, fixed in bronze, no crowd of suppliants fearing the judgeís face: they lived safely without protection. No pine tree felled in the mountains had yet reached the flowing waves to travel to other lands: human beings only knew their own shores. There were no steep ditches surrounding towns, no straight war trumpets, no coiled horns, no swords and helmets. Without the use of armies, people passed their lives in gentle peace and security. The earth her self also, freely, without the scars of ploughs, untouched by hoes, produced everything from herself. Contented with food that grew without cultivation, they collected mountain strawberries and the fruit of the strawberry tree, wild cherries, blackberries clinging to the tough brambles, and acorns fallen from Jupiter's spreading oak tree. Spring was eternal, and gentle breezes caressed with warm air the flowers that grew without being seeded. Then the untilled earth gave of its produce and,without needing renewal, the fields whitened with heavy ears of corn. Sometimes rivers of milk flowed, sometimes streams of nectar, and golden honey trickled from the green holm oak.
First was the Golden Age. Then rectitude spontaneous in the heart prevailed, and faith. Avengers were not seen, for laws unframed were all unknown and needless. Punishment and fear of penalties existed not. No harsh decrees were fixed on brazen plates. No suppliant multitude the countenance of Justice feared, averting, for they dwelt without a judge in peace. Descended not the steeps, shorn from its height, the lofty pine, cleaving the trackless waves of alien shores, nor distant realms were known to wandering men. The towns were not entrenched for time of war; they had no brazen trumpets, straight, nor horns of curving brass, nor helmets, shields nor swords. There was no thought of martial pomp—secure a happy multitude enjoyed repose. Then of her own accord the earth produced a store of every fruit. The harrow touched her not, nor did the plowshare wound her fields. And man content with given food, and none compelling, gathered arbute fruits and wild strawberries on the mountain sides, and ripe blackberries clinging to the bush, and corners and sweet acorns on the ground, down fallen from the spreading tree of Jove. Eternal Spring! Soft breathing zephyrs soothed and warmly cherished buds and blooms, produced without a seed. The valleys though unplowed gave many fruits; the fields though not renewed white glistened with the heavy bearded wheat: rivers flowed milk and nectar, and the trees, the very oak trees, then gave honey of themselves.
Monitoring this thread because I haven't bought a copy of Ovid yet and have yet to look up the best translations
Do you people have websites where you put in things that you wrote to get advice?
I don't want to show anybody I know in real life because they would psycho-analyse me
>>8871201
Those eyes are damn terrifying
>>8871201
Nigga, you're already on it
>>8871210
You read each others' work?
I checked the catalogue a few times before and I never saw any threads like that
What's his inner monologue like?
>>8871193
This is a vegan smoothie except for the honey. I think Xanax is vegan.
>>8871196
kek
>>8871193
Asians don't have an inner monologue
Is OK to read translations?
>>8871188
Is
i think is OK read translations
With the Fall 2016 semester now over, let's talk about what classes we're taking in the spring. stemfags pls go unless you're taking at least one /lit/ related course.
I'm in:
History of Asian Religions
Theory of Knowledge
Research seminar titled "Subj-Obj Distinction: Perceptions and Judgments"
South Korean Cinema
and an Oceanography course to complete my natural science gen eds, as I am completing my undergrad studies with this upcoming semester.Can't wait to begin my career as a bartender
You deserve it you filthy weeb
>>8871195
I know a bit about various Asian religions as is, but other than seeing less than 10 korean films I know nothing about korean cinema and am mainly taking it because the professor teaching it is great. I watch no anime, read no manga and am generally quite uninterested in typical weeb culture.
Are you guys all in high school or something
ever think of attributing certain songs to writers
Franz Kafka: Black Crow Blues - Bob Dylan
Virginia Woolf: Good Morning Good Morning - The Beatles
William S. Burroughs: Sister Morphine - The Rolling Stones
Ernest Hemingway - Stairway to Heaven
David Foster Wallace - Immigrant Song
Thomas Pynchon - Thong Song
Don DeLillo - My Pony
I just finished metamorphosis, holy shit I love Kafka, what should I read next?
>>8871429
The Trial. Metamorphosis is probably the best distillation of Kafka though. Such a simple yet brilliant idea
Is Berkeley worth reading?
If you want to understand the history of Western philosophy, yes. At least read the Three Dialogues.
>>8871131
>Is a philosopher before frege worth reading?
No anon
did u know that berkeley always surrounded himself with people and that one day he was left all alone for like not even one minute and he just like straight up disappeared
The profane generally imagine that Buddhists believe in the reincarnation of the soul and even in metempsychosis. This is erroneous. Buddhism teaches that the energy produced by the mental and physical activities of a being brings about the apparition of new mental and physical phenomena, when once this being has been dissolved by death. […] There exist a number of subtle theories upon this subject and the Tibetan mystics seem to have attained a deeper insight into the question that most other Buddhists. […] However, in Tibet as elsewhere, the views of the philosophers are only understood by the elite. The masses, although they repeat the orthodox creed: ‘all aggregates are impermanent; no “ego” exists in the person, nor in anything,’ remain attached to the more simple belief in an undefined entity travelling from world to world, assuming various forms.
was she hot or not
She invented tulpas so that's p. hot
>>8871081
A cute.
>>8871081
Mysticism has done more damage to western society than every genocidal regime so no she is not hot.
What's the worst book?
>>8871058
my dairy duse
>>8871063
No, MY diary is worse
>>8871058
Pornography: Men Possessing Women
God, this was an unpleasant read. I'm not one of those people that require a relatable or nice character in order to enjoy a novel, but everyone in this book, literally every single character, they were all so realistically petty and mean that it just left a bad taste in my mouth.
>>8871046
The bullfighting scenes are true art though.
>>8871046
That's 1920's Paris for you
>>8871046
Really? I liked most of the characters other than Cohn who was just annoying
Is there anything to write about anymore? Honestly, the only thing I can think of writing is a moralistic story that calls modern day zeitgeist degenerate as fuck.
I don't know--feels like we are living in a sort of
"pre-collapse" culture phase.
New technology, and its interactions with every belief ever written before
>smug scifi face
>>8871031
New technology often becomes that thing we had 5 or 10 years ago with a clock on it. If you wonder if we're at that stage now, see smart watches.
>>8871024
>Is there anything to write about anymore?
If you're seriously asking this, then there never was.
What are some books that Patrick Bateman would enjoy?
My journal, if im being frank
He wouldn't enjoy books. He would buy them, but not read them.
>>8872306
My god...have I been the Bate-man this entire time?