So I plan on coming out to my parents as trans this weekend.

>>8383047
Have somewhere safe to go, with someone safe to take you there, before you say that first word. You can never really tell how someone will react to it these days, sadly.

>>8383047
I can't give advice unless I know more about your situation and parents. Are they accepting, conservative, religious, homophobic, hippys or what?

>>8383200
Parents are both in their 50's they've loved me unconditional so far in my life, but I don't know if that extends to being trans. They aren't religious or conservative, although my mom supported trump since she wanted the wall because shes mad she has paid taxes for 35 years and illegals don't have to. My mom works with a gay person and is fine with him at work, but has made comments on the way I used to dress, things like "you look kinda faggy" and such. I don't really know with my dad though, hes said some really mean things about gays jokingly.

>>8383271
Sounds similar to my parents desu. They were chill when I came out.

>>8383276
How did you do it? Did you just sit them down and tell them? What did you say? Sorry for all the questions.

>>8383313
Told my mom with a letter, dad found the pills after I did too many drugs and had to go to hospital so he went to search my room for drugs and found girl pills.

>>8383323
I've been trying to work up the nerve to just tell my mom in person, but god it's not as easy as it sounds. Maybe writing a letter would be good idk.

>>8383047
The most important thing is whether or not you are self sufficient. Living at home dependent on parents? Don't do it, period.

That said here's how it went for me:
>parents were pretty uncomfortable when I came out as gay, and basically said don't be really faggy around them
but then
>4 years later
>parents keep asking what's wrong, can clearly see I'm despressed/distressed all of the time
>start bawling, tell them I'm their daughter
>we love you no matter what
>we would have been devastated if you killed yourself
>we're afraid for you because trans people get harassed/assaulted/murdered

We haven't really talked about since though

>>8383047
I would start a conversation about trans people with them and judge their reaction about it. if theyre negative about it then you know not to come out.

>>8383477
How do you start a random conversation about trans people?

>>8383535
Ask them if they're "keeping up" with the kardashians...

>>8383535
"Did you know Caitlyn Jenner was an athlete? I was wondering why everyone seemed to know who she was when she made her transition or change or whatever..."

Yah, she's not a real good spokeswoman, BUT she's an icebreaker. Use the tool that fits.

>>8383456
Is great that they're accepting. Try talking about it more with them so it can become normal to both of you.

>>8383535
Start a conversation about yourself

>>8383456
This. If you are dependent on or need your parents for anything, don't do it.

>>8383591
I'm in a bit of a weird place where I don't know if I want to fully transition because HRT has diminished my dysphoria to a significant degree and I'm comfortable as a feminine male for now so I don't want them to think of it as being a phase or something

>>8383576
lol

>>8383586
They know I know who Caitlyn Jenner is kinda hard to bring it up like that I think, but thanks for the advice.

>>8383605
Yeah I don't know how to that and turn into into "I'm transgender".

>>8383698
It's okay to be a femboy then. Somewhat easier that way. Being trans isn't a phase, but transitioning is a phase that can be as quick or long as you want.

>>8383634
what if I am 100% dependent on my parents
but I can't get HRT through my country's gatekeeping unless I come out to parents as trans?
another anon btw

>>8383839
So much easier, but it feels harder to explain in a way?
>>8383870
Which country? Are you legally an adult in said country?

>>8383702
I don't know if you were noticeably gender non-conforming as a child, but I started off with

>Y'know how I never was the most masculine boy when I was little?
>Do you remember how it wasn't even just me preferring girl's toys, right? How I used to want dresses and tried on mom's makeup and painted my nails? And told you with all certainty I would be a woman when I grew up and you had to tell me that wouldn't happen?
>Y'know how that never really stopped and I never really became a manly kinda guy?

At this point my mom thought I was just trying to come out as a gay dude, but I continued on to explain the trans thing and it was awkward, but it was done with. Dad still just doesn't get it. He hasn't rejected me, he just literally doesn't understand.

>>8383881
Italy and yes I am over 18
I know I could diy hormones but
1) I am too afraid of killing myself through that
2) My parents would notice that I am taking hormones after a few months anyway so I would have to come out

>>8383907
So why do you need to come out to your parents if you're a legal adult?
And why are you still 100% dependent? I get still being partially dependent, but totally dependent at your age makes me think you need to grow the fuck up first.

>>8383907
Do you have family history of health disorders of the heart and liver, bloodclots and so forth? The risk is honestly pretty low, especially at your age and assuming you are a non-smoker. Would you be able to get blood work done? That would be pretty important. As for the changes they're pretty subtle and occur over a long period of time, so if you see your parents every other day they aren't likely to notice for quite a while, especially if you have facial hair. One thing I will say is that taking hormones may convince them (if they were to find out) just how serious you are about transition. Just don't bring it up, wait for them to if they even notice at all.

>>8383921
It's not uncommon to be 18 and live with parents still anon

>>8383921
>And why are you still 100% dependent?
I just turned 18, that's why
I guess I should get a job but I'm pretty busy with university.

>So why do you need to come out to your parents if you're a legal adult?
According to my therapist in my country trans people need to come out to family before being allowed hormones.

>>8383930
>According to my therapist in my country trans people need to come out to family before being allowed hormones.
You're therapist sounds full of shit. Why the fuck would they require that if you're legally an adult? I suggest a new therapist desu

>>8383883
Unfortunately most of my life I tried to "man up" so I wasn't exactly gnc.

>>8383943
That's just how it is in Italy

>>8383943
I've talked to trans people around my age and they all had to come out to their family before being allowed hormones so I don't think changing therapist will help at all. My country is pretty shit.

What are the chances my parents will kick me out? They're not religious and they claim to love me unconditionally. They don't seem to mind gay people but I'm not sure what they think about trans people...

>>8383945
attempting to be gender conforming is just another way of being gnc though
>>8383953
>>8383956
Hard to say, are you "gay" as in attracted to dudes? Try coming out to them as gay and see how that goes? It's still pretty sketchy.

Can you just lie to your therapist and say that you're out to your family?

>>8383953
Unless he wants you to bring your parents in, how the fuck would he know if you lied to him?

>>8383980
>>8383961
He wants me to bring my parents in
He said an important part of therapy is to talk to the family and all that bullshit. If my parents don't accept me I won't be allowed to go on HRT because I don't have a "positive" environment for transition. Also I've told my therapist I'm 100% dependent on my parents and I'm afraid them kicking me out. He said that I have to take the risk as proof that I am really trans and have the courage to transition.

Yeah I might try coming out as gay. They probably think I'm gay anyway because I never showed interest in girls.

>>8384000
Or I could self-med for a while and get a job and then come out to them when I have some money. I have no skills though so I'd have to work at macdonald's or something.

>>8384004
That's so fucking stupid. Fuck Italy. Any chance you can just go to another therapist and lie from the outset? Say you're moved out, don't really talk to your family, but have accepting friends or something?

>>8384020
>Fuck Italy
Yeah!

>Any chance you can just go to another therapist and lie from the outset? Say you're moved out, don't really talk to your family, but have accepting friends or something?

Very hard to do. You have no idea how hard it is to get hormones here. They want to have therapy with you for months, then meet people you know (ideally your family) to talk about how you being trans would affect them and other irrelevant stuff. Then I don't know what else. They will try to block you every step of the way with the excuse that they want to be sure before you can "transform" your body.

I don't know what advice a stranger on 4chan can give me, I'm in a pretty bad situation. It all comes down to either self-medding while trying hide the changes from my therapist (he said he won't see me anymore if I self-med and he might even call the police on me) and family (could kick me out). Or I take the risk and come out to my family and if they are nice I might have a chance to transition after some months of therapy.

>>8384065
Just bite the bullet and come out. It sounds like it's going to suck all around anyways, no matter what you do.
I'd self-med anyways, maybe only anti-androgen. Unless you grow big tits, I doubt your therapist would really notice, he probably was just trying to scare you.