Any chronically ill or disabled people here?

>>8354759
Hello :)
Oh, and I forgot mine
>FtM
>26
>lupus and some other stuff

>>8354743
>Lesbian
>20

When i was 4 i was visiting my uncle's farm for the summer. I fell into a haystack from the barn loft and got a pitchfork in the head.
Penetrated parts of the left side of my brain, causing moderate paralysation to the right side of my body. My face droops, my right hand and arm grew unevenly making them small and useless, i shuffle when i walk.
Doctors told me I would never walk again, but i did, so that's cool i guess. Live unassisted in my own place now. Life is okay.

>inb4 lgbt is the illness

I'm kinda overweight(165 at 5'9) but I have like a mass of fat in my groin that swallows my penis and makes it look tiny because it recedes into the fat unless I'm erect. I've gotten down to 140 before but still had it. Not sure if that counts but it really used to wrack my confidence.

>>8354759
>mtf
be my gf

>>8354759
>don't have to train voice
im jelly

>>8354781
That is cool, indeed.
I'm walking a lot less these days myself; see image I guess.

>>8354872
What's that been like?

>>8354873
I really didn't want to but it ended up being like a Disneyland version of my life (like Peter Pan or Alice with riding in a little cart), and the energy I save by not walking everywhere in pain, fatigue, and dizziness took my life from a D+ to a B+, lol.

Other people make it kinda shitty though and things are often not accessible. I get patted like a dog, spoken to like a child, yelled at in public for refusing offers of help. Also everyone thinks my partner is my aide and then they're super confused when we kiss

>>8354895
Gee, that sounds really complicated. I'm sorry that this thing that's so improved your quality of life in some ways has made it so frustrating in others.

>>8354743
>illness?

[spoiler] Being a fucking faggot [/spoiler]

Does that count?

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genderfluid hetero male, has mild autism, anxiety & depression.

I should write a story about a crippled trans trying to escape a sex dungeon or something.

Taglines would be horror and erotica.

>>8354743
>mtf
>type 1 diabetes
>arthritis
Life sucks

>>8354961
I'm in a similar place, only I'm a transgirl not genderfluid. I trust you to know your own needs in this area but transitioning and hormones helped a lot with my depression. I don't really think about suicide anymore and it used to be a pretty regular thing with me.
I'm not sure how autistic I am, but just thinking of myself as autistic and needing to manage it feels like a big change for me. I just recently realized that I can meltdown or shutdown if I'm overstimulated. I used to think I just got annoyed by people talking around me (for example) because I'm just a snob. (I was okay with that). Now I realize it's probably because I can't tune it out when I need to relax.
And I find it helpful to identify my stims and comfort objects, so I have a better idea of how to calm myself down when I need to. I always stimmed but before I wasn't as aware of its relationship to stress and stimulation so I would sometimes get panicky and not know how to handle it, especially in situations where I couldn't stim.

>>8354743
Brain damage
Dyspraxia, central hypotonia and a bunch of other learning difficulties and physical complications as a result

losing eyesight in my right eye, need to wear wrist braces regularly, walking on crutches with extremely-sloped insoles atm to correct for having pronated feet and might need a wheelchair eventually

it's robbed every one of my life's aspirations from me and I absolutely loathe it, I only cope with living by taking drugs regularly or I'd have kms long ago
idg people who are proud of their disability or wouldn't wish it any other way

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>>8355044
oh and I should mention the brain damage was from low oxygen at birth, not an adulthood accident or anything like that

...and on top of that I'm a hon :^)

>>8354971
Would read/10

This is why I love threads like >>8344224

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>>8355049
hon>all other disablities including being dead

>>8354743
>FtM
>24
>Bipolar and BPD

Shit sucks. I'm not one of those people who think men should be emotionless husks, but I've had plenty of people doubt me being trans just because I'm overly emotional and can't help it.

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>>8354743
>mtf
>tons of autoimmune problems
>arthritic problems
>back problems
>stomach problems
I have a huge list of other stuff to but it'd take too long to post everything. Also
>severe agoraphobic
And some other anxiety stuff.
I stay chronically ill and go to doctors all the time, and do classify as disabled so there. It's hard to make myself be happy and smile.
>>8355005
fellow arthritis mtf kindred spirit
>>8355049
I don't know you but I don't think you look bad.
Your crutch is cute

Ftm. 28.

I have narcolepsy and severe general anxiety. Thankfully for the meds that make me able to work and function.

>>8355005
I also got type 1 yo

How long you had it?

Bumping for potential

Agender, pansexual.

PTSD, autism, ASPD.

I know, snowflake central, but fuck it.

>>8358864
This thread just has that kind of vibe.
If you care I've already posted about my autism situation here >>8355038

Mtf, 30.
>Autism
>slight dyslexia, but I hid it well.
>Some form of recurring depression.
>Sensory sensitivity, Which I think is covered under autism?
>Generalized anxiety disorder
>Agoraphobia
>Adhd

Its not that I have all of these, its that I couldn't do anything about them before because black people dont believe in certain mental illnesses. I feel kinda cheated, honestly.

>>8358871
> black people dont believe in certain mental illnesses. I feel kinda cheated, honestly.

Can you elaborate a little bit?

I'm a non-Western immigrant and my parents definitely have stupid views about mental health.

>>8358937
Its a thing in the american black community (especially amongst the older people) that certain things dont effect black people or arent real.
My step dad Told me to my face that black people dont get adhd. That thats some "made up white people shit".
Despite my younger niece Obviously having it.
He also suggested that in order to get over my Clinically diagnosed recurring depression that whenever I get depressed to just tell myself, "No! Fuck that!"
Hes the main reason I didnt tell my parents about the other shit thats wrong with me nor about being trans. He isnt the only one though. Ive seen attitudes like this all over the place with other black people. Maybe its because its the south but they have a horribly archaic view of mental health on par with what people believed in the fucking 20's or something. American Black culture is infected with all of the worst parts of the bible.

>>8359042
Seems like it's a culture of believing you don't actually need things that black Americans could potentially have a much harder time accessing due to racism or poverty, especially the farther back you go.

>>8359076
Yep I know theres a history behind it but it still frustrates me to no end.

>>8359076
>blacks had worse culture
>blame the racist whites!

>>8359104
I think your frustration is totally warranted, because it has made your life harder.

>>8359122
but there is a reason for their culture becoming so terrible. Its inside and outside forces that shaped it. Stop being butthurt because reality is more complicated than youd like it to be.

>>8359155
There's nothing complicated about personal responsibility.

History or no history, a black guy being a dick is responsible for being a dick.

>>8359042
OP here. tentative confirm, yeah. I'm black through my dad's side and I have severe mental probs as well but almost all of that side of my family kind of refuses to acknowledge it, won't speak about it or visit me in inpatient.

The closest I've gotten to my dad incorporating it into his worldview is being in inpatient and my dad saying with good humor that the social dynamic and setting reminded him of prison, or that my scars reminded him of scarification (like ritual). Both times I probably could have cried

>mtf
>25
I have no functional muscle strength in my left arm after a serious accident. Hand works fine, so I can play video games, drink out of cups, all the basic little things, but I can't lift things more than a few lbs with my arm, open jars, things like that. Also serious nerve damage so my left arm hurts bad if someone grabs it and sometimes for no reason.

>>8359329
>>8359042
Thanks for sharing.

>>8359123
>>8359155
Good posts.

>>8359185
>There's nothing complicated about personal responsibility.
>History or no history, a black guy being a dick is responsible for being a dick.

No shit. But to not acknowledge how and why a culture became the way it is is a guaranteed way to keep repeating the sames mistakes.
Just glossing over something with "personal responsibility" doesn't actually help anyone.
People make the mistake of thinking that looking for what caused a thing is just looking for something to blame. Its not. We do it so we can get away from the awful shit that perpetuated the terrible circumstance in the first place.

>>8359329
This is exactly why Im so distant from my family. Shit like this drives me insane. Its why if there is the unlikely event that I meet someone, I hope that they arent black/white or where adopted by nonblacks so I dont have to deal with the kind of bullshit I delt with when I was younger.

>>8359402
Thank you, anon.

>>8354743
>MtF
>23
>wondering whether just lazy or chronically depressed
>probably both
also I don't know if it's a disability but I have this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_snow
especially when I feel tired or stressed...

>>8359893
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_snow
Don't like 1 in 5 people have this? I have it and I don't really count it as a disability as it doesn't effect life.

>>8359893
Depression can affect energy and motivation. And for me there was this awful loop where the less I did, the more I felt like I had already proven myself unworthy of trying again.

>>8359913
but it's really annoying, I can't enjoy looking into blue skies anymore :(
>>8359914
I know what you mean, I tried to break this loop by forcing myself to do something
like yoga or jogging
but I always end up where I was before, having lost my motivation

FTM, 24, scoliosis
I have to visit the chiropractor every 2 weeks to crunch my spine back into place

>>8359976
I have really bad scoliosis and am the same age but I've never been to a chiropractor, what exactly do they do for you anon? That kinda sounds a little scary to me if they push your spine back into place. I've only been told surgery would fix mine or that physical therapy could help the horrible pain I'm in all the time.

>>8354743
>MtF with intersex condition so I never really masculinized (MAIS)
>20, started E at 19 but look like 16 or so
>Cerebral palsy, ADHD-I, dyscalculia

>25 years old
>female to male trans
>cardiomyopathy, diagnosed in 2013

Good indication it is genetic virus, could also be a combination of my medicine prior to my heart failure. I might actually have to get off my testosterone. Went into heart failure twice. Once in 2013 it was resolved in 2015. And now in 2017 I have it again. No use of street drugs or alcohol between 2015-2017.

Bump from page 9

>>8365379
This actually is a pretty interesting thread. I don't feel so bad about being a chronically ill tranny since I guess a lot of us have problems.

>>8365444
I'm glad that you felt like this was a worthwhile thread to save!

weird how so many mtfs have other rare neurological conditions

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>22
>cisles
>assburgers and paranoid schizophrenia
If I'm not medicated I can't even stay alone. Even if medicated I still can't take care of myself.

One day I'm gonna buy a shotgun and blow my brains out during an autistic meltdown so I don't puss out.

>22 year old bisexual cis male
>run of the mill depression, altho made worse through life experience
>genetically predisposed to anxiety, but made much worse through life experience
>asthmatic as fuck. 50:50 shot i need to be hospitalized if i'm in the same room as a lit cig
>malformed hip and knee joints. hurts and i gotta stretch a lot, but i don't limp anymore
>been on 4chan for 10 years, so mild autism is almost a guarantee
>idk if you consider possible ptsd a disorder in and of itself. sexually abused as a kid, left life long impacts. been in and out of treatment for 15-16 years or so, but always for depression and anxiety exclusively. my parents knew, but no therapist ever asked me anything about it and my parents never bothered to mention it as far as i know. no formal diagnosis, but i have several others directly linked to or affected by those experiences specifically, and during informal discussions i've had with professionals/people trying to become professionals i've been told i exhibit a large number of personality traits and habits indicative of someone who has been sexually abused

>>8354961

> tfw no asexuality option on the genderfrybreadperson

>>8365665
Clay that you?

Bisexual early 20's male with muscular dystrophy. TFW just want a qt bf to do fun things and cuddle with ;_;

I'm 20, gay and a totally normal guy, but I have epilepsy that is so bad I cannot go into a club (music and lights set me off) and have to avoid alcohol and any kind of stimulant or drug bar mild caffeine. My seizures are totally uncontrolled and I feel so embarrassed when I have one it's totally put me off any kind of 'risky' socialising

People think I'm no fun and think that epilepsy is just caused by flashing lights, which is a big trigger for many people, but music sets me off the most, which is a shame because I love music and used to drum before I developed my condition when I was 15.

Other than that I am very healthy, exercise being a almost guaranteed 'safe' hobby for seizures means it has replaced the vidya and movies of my youth, I try to keep a positive outlook and raise awareness of epilepsy, it's more common than you think and can be developed at any point during your life.

>>8366102
Asthma is bad man, I had it as a young child but grew out of it, can't imagine how bad it would be to be hospitalised because of it :(

>>8366857
Why aren't your seizures controlled?

>>8354743
mtf trans
25
circulation/autonomic nervous system issues that cause a bunch of bs like fatigue, weakness, dizziness, headaches, stomach pain and digestion problems, nausea, sensitivity to light, occasional passing out, etc.
got one surgery that was supposed to help but didn't and the other one to try is more dangerous with veins and nerves and bones in my neck

>>8355049
You actually look cute, Robin. Just the way you dress makes you look masculine. + your hairstyl

>>8366102
>been on 4chan for 10 years, so mild autism is almost a guarantee
I started browsing this site a little less than a decade ago too and I just turned eighteen a few months ago. It's been my only recurring socialization since then with a handful of exceptions. Between home school and general anxiety, I don't fit in at all with anyone who hasn't been browsing imageboards or forums for at least a handful of years before I even open my mouth.

Pretty sure everyone on /lgbt/ is mentally ill, so kind of a stupid question.

>>8355038
I really think I have autism or aspergers or something. It takes a lot of effort to talk to people I don't know, I got fired from a cashier job because I couldn't do it right because I had to spend so much time thinking of how to small talk with customers I couldn't concentrate on doing the job and I end up doing both shitty.

>>8367245
the problem with my hair is that it's extremely fine and extremely straight so any attempt to style it fails completely, I can use an entire can of hairspray and the shape still doesn't hold at all
I can try and get it cut in a resting style, but then often it looks lank and just sorta rests over my face, I'm at a real impasse re: hairstyles
as a kid my mum used to literally just cut it herself often and basically give me a buzzcut it was so impossible to make it look nice
having it so short used to make me feel sick with disgust whenever I saw my reflection, which I now know was early gender dysphoria

>>8367500
It's quite possible you're undiagnosed, and that understanding your needs would improve your quality of life. I very much encourage that.
Nobody in my life seriously considered I might be on the spectrum until I was in high school, and it was years before I really understood what my challenges were and how to manage them best.
I did a lot of coping in this instinctive way, which was good in one sense but bad because I wasn't as aware of what I needed to do to stay calm, so sometimes I would skip it and do what I wanted to or what I felt expected to do by others. Which obviously made me more difficult to be around!

I definitely bungled a couple of cashiering jobs myself. Like you, I couldn't find a balance between making small talk and performing the transactions efficiently.
And who knows why I thought I could go door to door collecting donations for a nonprofit group, where I had to memorize a long speech, recite it accurately and persuasively, etc.
Since then I've stuck with custodial work, which is a much better fit for me. I don't have to talk to people as much and being able to notice little details out of place is an asset to the work, rather than a hinderance.

so how do you folks deal with being disabled? like being a hon wasn't enough... since childhood I've tried various types of meditation, various philosophy books and stuff, aromatherapy, relaxation CDs, counselling, was going to try CBT but the mental health services discharged me before I could start saying I'm coping alright despite me telling them about my drug use and constant suicidal ideation while sober

like it's one thing to tell someone not to be as worried about something when there's a chance it might get better in the future, but in my case it's only going to stay the same or get worse and worse, idk how to cope with the prospect of 40~ more years of suffering with no relief other than the occasional k-hole, it feels like I'm edging closer and closer to completely losing my mind over the sheer inability to escape from myself

I keep seeing videos about disabled people saying it was the best thing that happened to them or that they wouldn't choose being able-bodied over their current body and I just can't wrap my head around that worldview

also
>mfw Tory voters will defend this
we really are sinking as low as America now

facebook com/theguardian/videos/690794987774934/

>>8354743
>Female
>36 (I'm getting so ooold, why am I even here)
>Lesbian and heavy peen envy

I'm not disabled, but I have chronic moderate depression and anxiety. I'm on medication for it and have been for many years and expect to be so for most of my life. I've been on a variety of meds, some with more side effects then others, but right now I'm taking 20 mg Brintellix and it's working pretty good. The only notable side effects are increased sweating and mouth dryness, both tolerable and only demands normal hygiene attention.

I was jobless for a full year when my mental issues really hit the fan, so to speak. But with meds and some gradual job-training, I've manage to come back to full time work. It's a struggle some times when "things flare up", but I refuse to give up. My dream is to own my own little house and that keeps me motivated to keep truckin'.

And reading about some other peoples sever chronic illnesses here makes me feel very lucky to not have it any harder then I do.

>>8367582
Well, at this point it sounds like being unhappy with your disabilities gives you a feeling of control over your situation, since you think of the alternative as surrendering to despair.
But you're also feeling guilty about your frustration with your disabilities, and I think allowing yourself to feel what you want to feel might be a good first step.
Beyond that, you can't appreciate what ability you do have in the present because you're focused on what you've lost in the past or could lose in the future. Your resentment of your disability gives you a feeling of control, but that also means you can't enjoy what you do have.
Does that make sense?

>>8367717
the biggest problem is I feel like I don't really 'have' anything, I don't even have memories to cling to
and every time I've tried a new hobby or pursuit I've failed before even the first hurdle
when I was younger I'd just brush it off as "that's okay, I just haven't found my niche yet", but the older I get and the more things I try, the more I feel like there isn't a niche for me out there

>>8367827
When I was talking about what you "have" I was thinking about how you can walk with crutches now, even though you might need to use a wheelchair eventually. You can regret that you need crutches now, and that you might need a wheelchair someday, or you can appreciate the fact that you don't need a wheelchair today. That's what I was saying.
Because your disabilities affect your self esteem even when you're just in survival mode, just trying to make it through your day, not thinking about how you still haven't found any sort of achievable goal to give yourself a sense of purpose.
Obviously that is a different, major problem.
I understand why it bothers you. I might have tried to do too much at once by saying it's okay to feel bad and then immediately trying to steer you into another perspective.
When I was depressed I felt like I knew something nobody else wanted to believe, that other people had ways of distracting themselves from. Sometimes I didn't want anybody to cheer me up. I felt like that would be taking away the one thing I knew for sure. Even if embracing that negativity wasn't much fun, either.
Maybe you just need to let yourself feel bad about this for right now, without thinking you're doing anything wrong. I'm sure everyone that wants to help you thinks they need to cheer you up, and that means they want you to think the way they do, whether that sounds comforting to you or not.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/hypotonia/discussion/adult-hypotonia
this is practically the only piece of info I can find on the entire internet written by somebody with the same condition as me and it's a largely inactive questions thread on a rando website with zero answers given to any of the questions, just people crying out into thin air
how on earth is there such an absolute lack of information or community around something that isn't even that rare?

>>8368258
I just want to stop failing at everything I try to achieve with my life
What's the point in me living if I'm forced to be a passive observer to my own life with zero influence no matter how much effort I put into my actions and no balance between failure and success to give me a break from the suffering?

>>8368423
oh and this from the same website
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/hypotonia/discussion/adult-hypotonia-lisa-s-story

>works at Blockbuster 4 half-days a week
>no social life
>this is considered a resounding success

fucking kill me lol I don't want to put up with 40-60 more years of this shit
sorry for spamming the thread

>>8368480
>I don't want to put up with 40-60 more years of this shit

you don't really have a choice

>>8368532
>implying
senpai literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself atm is constant drug use

>>8368796
I seriously hope you don't kill yourself.

>>8368532
>>8368796
Yeah like you can't act like someone who's feeling that low definitely wants to live their full lifespan.
When I was suicidal could just make me more resentful of being alive, and like it was something other people expected of me more than something I wanted for myself.

I don't know why people list depression here lol

>>8368893
it is an illness

>>8368895
Alright so I'm pretty sure 90% of /lgbt/ is depressed, I don't really think it's worth mentioning.

>>8367582
OP here, and talking about physical disability (lupus + power chair user).

I take antidepressants, which doubles as my fatigue med. I'm making plans to move back to my hometown soon (Berkeley) because it's full of wheelchair users and disability support services/community. The town where I'm currently living, everyone looks at me like I'm disgusting or pitiful, which makes me not want to leave the house. Moving is a long-term plan, but I think it's gonna be vital to having a life worth living.

I take as good care of my body as I can. On top of being socially stigmatized, I don't need severe pain, frequent illness, to be not eating right or whatever, so I just take really good care of myself. It was pretty much impossible for me to get pain meds prescribed with my mental health history so I take kratom.

I do therapy, even though it's hard to find a therapist who understands physical disability.

I do support group stuff, I reach out to my friends and my partner. I watch a lot of youtube videos, read books and articles, about disability and look at people with similar issues to me who I think are hot or talented so I remember it's at least possible.

Even so it's still hard. Sometimes I want to an hero over how worthless people seem to think my life is, or when I'm having a high pain day, some new issue pop up, or one of the ones that really pushes my buttons (hair loss or urinary probs, for example). I hang on with it. I read Hello Cruel World by Kate Bornstein repeatedly.

>>8369623
It's been so nice getting to know you here. Very informative and inspiring. Thanks for posting!

>>8359913
isnt it this anon?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_field_entoptic_phenomenon

>>8356800
What's narcolepsy like? I'm talking to a sleep doctor in five days and they're thinking it might be narcolepsy.