>Don't want to ruin my life by transitioning >Life

>>8294388
I will never understand this mindset

>>8294388
>>8294400
I get it. Personally my family life is pretty great, but they're all traditionalists. If I transition I'll have to cut ties with many of them them, and that would make me miserable. However, with every day I don't transition I lose a little hope for ever being in the right body, and that also makes me miserable.

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>>8294388

Yes, this was the bitter lesson I learned, and that all repressors learn. Attempting to preserve the livability of your life, you decide to submit to the will of others and leave the choice others would hate you for making on the side. But after years, all you find is that you hate your life and it has no meaning; it never had any. Later you learn of someone who took the other road: you discover the winning strategy was to jump head first into adversity and take the bold choice to "ruin your life" in the pursuit of what you wanted. You gave up one thing, life as a woman, to preserve many others, but you gave up your ability to appreciate them when you made that choice as well. Those who made the other choice made a gamble to be able to live as a woman and put everything you chose to keep on the table. They gave up the assurance that they would have family, friends, safety, housing, respect and honors, academics, and maybe they lost a few of those things, maybe they lost everything, a lucky few kept them all. But what they did have left and what they found after they were able to appreciate all the more richly.

Early transitioners have shown us all we are fools.

>>8295330
This is really well written

>>8295330
brb just gonna go kill myself now

>>8295330
>>8295579
When did you guys transition?

>>8295330
Wow yeah this is true. I really wish I transitioned earlier.

>>8295330
Yea, but I don't want to risk all that for my addictive-life ruining AGP fetish

>>8296052
>life ruining

>>8294388
I know this feeling. I feel like I would've been better off transitioning when this all first started, but like a dumbass I repressed. I hate myself so much now and have no clue if I will even live another few years without killing myself.

>>8294388
>life is ruined by being trans
Fixed that for ya.

>>8296105
When did it first start? How old are you now?

>>8295886
When did you transition? How do you define earlier in your own case?

>>8297733
I mean I wanted to be a girl since I was younger than 10. I'm 24 now, life fucking sucks.

>>8294388
Can relate, I don't think my life is ruined per se but as a non transitioner I have some issues that conventional straight men don't have to deal with. Unfortunately a lot of us millenials got to be born too early to transition young but too late to repress.

>>8295330
Your not taking into account the horror of a failed transition. Maybe this post makes sense for the young, but as non transitioners age transition becomes riskier with less to gain.

Fuck I'm so glad I didn't repress like you guys. Like read your posts. So much anger and sadness.

>>8297914
I know I hate myself with all of my heart. I wish I was dead almost everyday. I don't like anything in life and I'll probably end up killing myself in the coming years.

>>8297949
Repress with weed, the high might take your mind off your sadness.

>>8297914
What's your story, anon?

>>8297914
Even while repressing I was still pretty depressed all the time. Transitioning didn't change much.
It's a lot of money and effort and the entire world is working against you. It's pretty much all luck of the draw whether you succeed or not. If you don't end up in a good job with accepting employers you're completely fucked, and that's just to be given the potential opportunity to save up for surgeries. There's still the entire hassle of dealing with friends and family which means you're sacrificing all of your safety nets in life.

>>8294388
>>8295330
God, this makes me feel so good to know I didn't repress when I almost did. I was literally about to do it if I didn't just say "fuck it, now or never"

Really dodged a bullet desu

>>8298036
Yeah my life is meaningless. Uou made the right choice.

>>8298083
Why is your life meaningless? What's your story?

>>8297957
Weed gives me clarity for like an hour and I become totally straight, but then after that I get really horny.

>>8298130
You transitioned right? Imagine how you felt before you transitioned, but it gets worse every year and by the time you can't put up with it anymore you're 25 and know you will be a hon.

>>8298190
I know your feels. Just wanted to say that

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>>8294388
To be
or Not to be

That is the question

>>8295563

Thank you. I don't think it's so great though.

>>8295610

I started HRT at 20 and I'm 22 now. Social transition looks like it won't ever happen.

>>8297911

>Your not taking into account the horror of a failed transition. Maybe this post makes sense for the young, but as non transitioners age transition becomes riskier with less to gain.

I was talking about early transitioners only as the group who gambled. Late transitioners, successful or not do not have the courage that distinguishes that group from other trans people.

>>8297914
>>8298036

Congrats to you then. What were your stories and what age were you when you started HRT?

>>8298254
20 isn't even that bad...

>>8298190
>tfw 26 and just started
At least starvation has kept me from developing a bit lol
Really wish I started at 18/19 when I originally was planning. But I decided to stay living with parents and go to school and just repressed everything...

>>8298275
Gah accidentally posted a random pic my bad

>>8298275
I'm probably going to start soon too in hopes that I can find some happiness in life. I wish I started in my teens too.

>>8298262

It's pretty bad when I take into account my history. I wasn't one of those few anons who were asked directly by their parents if they wanted to transition but turned them down, but I was pretty far off from the anons who were entirely ignorant of the possibility of transition when they were young. Either way I've lost the first 22 years of my life, and I'm sure the rest are pre-wasted anyway. I'm not going to get anything out of life and I resent my parents and religion for it.

>>8298431
What happened? What's your story?

>>8298431
This is what pushed me back into the closet at 17 >>8297374
I feel you about getting nothing out of life though. I honestly can't see a way for life to work out for me.

>>8298254
I'm >>8298036. Transitioned at 16 in 2011. 22 now. So not exactly early, but it could've been a lot worse I guess.

>>8298478
16 is pretty good I would kill to go back to when I was 16

>>8294388
>>8295330
>>8298254
You wouldn't have made it if you started early either. There are plenty of passing and competent people that transition past the age of 30 and do well. There are plenty that don't just as there are plenty that don't who start in their tweens. It has more to do with what kind of person you are inside than what age you started at.

>>8298490
Sorry to hear anon. When did you transition?

>>8298502
>just as there are plenty that don't who start in their tweens

[citation needed]

>>8298504
23 I almost transitioned/came out when I was around 16 and I really wish I would have

>>8298521
That's terrible. I'm sorry anon. Why didn't you transition then? Still, I don't think 23 is too late

>>8298509
I couldn't care less if you think it's untrue and therefore keep living a shit life.

>>8298530
23 isn't ideal but it could be worse. When I was 16 I knew I was probably trans but I didn't tell my parents about it and I really wish I had. Plenty of times I planned on telling them but didn't. I did that for literally years just realizing I was trans but never doing anything about it until I got the point I was getting too old to keep waiting and I needed to something.

>>8298561
>needed to do*

>>8298478
Why are you even here? Go live your life

>>8298561
I'm glad you finally came to terms with yourself. You'll do fine, I'm sure!

>>8298595
Well, I still feel dysphoria sometimes and I've browsed 4chan since forever.

>>8298543 #

You realize you haven't even defined "making it," right? I don't know what you expect anyone to get out of such a half-assed reflection. If this reflects the quality of the rest of your posts, I suggest you refrain from posting in the future so no one wastes time reading your posts thinking that you're actually willing to engage in discussion.

>>8298608
Thanks anon

>>8295330

Thank you for sharing.

>>8295886

>>8297753
>>8297911
>>8297914
>>8298036
>>8298083
> others who shared their story about repressing/not repressing

I'm so proud of you all.

>>8298137
Kek and for me weed brings out my pseudo bi sometimes and I fap to trannies/crossdressers having sex with guys. Ejaculation seems to make me straight again.

>>8298254
>I was talking about early transitioners only as the group who gambled. Late transitioners, successful or not do not have the courage that distinguishes that group from other trans people.

Early transitioners shouldn't fuck around with repression these days. As someone born in the mid 80s I was only able to repress because of the world I grew up in. There is a horrible feeling from realizing your femme self has been destroyed by T and never had a chance to live.

>>8298502
Depends how masc your genes are. Lived experience as a man with continual T exposure will alter you.

>>8298752
Genes are used as an excuse just like age is. Most of these people are fairly average, it's not their genes stopping them, it's who they are inside. Even with good genes and young age they would end up like this.

>>8298799
>it's who they are inside
What do you mean by this?

>>8298799
People can't really control how impulsive they are with such major things though. Like for many people transitioning is basically a complete destruction of their life up until that point.
If everyone could do anything they wanted with zero consequences I'm sure nearly everyone would transition early.

>>8298825
Not if you thought trans=transvestite
I still believed this up until 18 months ago, but when I learned about HRT I jumped on it because my life depended on it

this...this....this is cancer, kill yourself bro.

>>8298825
>>8298811
You know like how it's impossible to even convince one person on youtube or 4chan to abandon their views and support something else?

It's like that. You can't change them, they'll keep going down their path of self destruction until they decide not to.

>tfw in same situation
>life is ruined either way
>grades are bad now because I can't bring myself to care about college
>wanted to kill myself for a few years now but it's getting worse
>will probably just kill myself
;_;

>>8299438

Were your grades good in high school at least?