How many of you got diddled as kids? How did it affect you,

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>be me
>be 7year old boy
>Walking home, it's getting dark
>A man grabbed me and dragged me into the woods
I lived near a pretty wooded area so this was easy for him
>Was late so nobody heard or saw me get dragged off
I didn't know what was happening at the time, all I knew was that it hurt.
>Got raped
I don't know how long it lasted. I kinda just laid there for a while after he finnished using me.
As I said before, I didn't know what happened so I didn't tell my mother.
He also threatened to hurt me if I ever meantioned it to anyone.
I have no idea how long he had been watching me. Or if it was something spontanious.
Needless to say... I was pretty scared.
>It messed up my mind pretty bad
>wierd silent kid at school because I don't trust anybody
>get bullied
I got raped once more after all this, this time it was somebody I knew. Family friend.
>be 17
>go to psychologist
>didn't work
>Get told I have PTSD
>Still have ''episodes''
>don't like getting touched
I use all my pent up emotions as fuel to work out and do kick-boxing though... Wich is nice...

If anyone is interested in hearing more I'd be glad to answer... I feel like it helps

>>8285315
I didn't, but i wanted to. I think my step dad was super intimidating and i guess now im attracted to guys that were like him. But my dad was raped by his brother, and a couple of other guys including catholic priest lol. Hes the most fucked up adult i've ever met in my life and i refuse to talk to him even though he's literally sending me text begging me to talk to him. Feel bad for the poor guy.

>>8285842
how has this stuff affected your sexuality? are you gay? are you straight? Do you find yourself turned on by situations in which are similar to the rape scene?

>>8285842
Share however much you want. I never got raped myself, though my whole family thinks I did. TLDR (didn't feel like typing it out) I experimented a lot with anal play as a kid, got tired of using my fingers and used an electric toothbrush instead once, put bristle end in and turned it on, hurt like hell, took it out, extreme amounts of blood, literally soaked through my jeans, mom saw and I was too embarrassed to say what I did, she assumed I got raped walking home from school, I didn't deny it and let her believe it.

>>8285842
I'm sorry, that sounds terrible for you. Do you see yourself ever getting into a relationship? Do you talk to anyone about It?

My mom has bpd and ptsd from her situation and she is still pretty miserable sometimes. I was wondering if I could do anything to support her since she hates going to therapists.

Also how is kick-boxing for you? Is it a fun sport? Do you enjoy it?

>8 year old me
>Playing around a church with a friend
>14 year old cousin threatened my friend to leave
>Drags me in to the porch at the church
>Blacked out
>Don't remember what happened
>No one knew and never told anyone
>Move out of the town January 01, 1999 because dad was very abusive
>Fast forward to 16 years old
>Told mom and grandma about the sexual abuse
>Talk to friends and family in town, a lot of kids abused by him
>5 of us pressed charges
>My dad found out
>Received a phone call, dad was furious and told my mom that he was going to run my cousin over while driving to work
>Heard that someone broke into my cousins house and beat the shit out of him
>My dad is a scary fucker to deal with
>My cousin was later banned from my home community after he molested a 2 year old boy, was in critical condition and required stitches

Was a female but I'm ftm. I had severe addictions/alcoholism until I transitioned. I hate churches so going to AA/NA meetings are nothing but flashbacks.

>>8286007
I'm 25 now. Been 8 years since I've been on T.

I pulled my pants down at an Elementary School urinary and simply got laughed at. This is more of a humiliating story than actual shit going down.

My life is kinda boring.

>>8286039
That was common in early elementary where I lived. I did something worse in the restroom once, I was a really dumb kid, I pooped in the urinal, right in front of everyone.

Didn't get diddled.
Became a bisexual transwoman

I was beaten up and molested by other kids in school when I was 13 (I was obviously a tran and attracted attention), but I don't think that's what you're talking about. My mom may have molested me under the guise of practicing for work (she's a pediatric nurse) but I'm unsure.

I found out recently I repressed memories of hearing my mom being raped and beaten by my dad and that my dad was beating and choking her out my whole childhood.

How did this (and more) affect me: I'm borderline. I have A+ dissociative powers. If I hear people having sex through the walls, especially at night and when I'm in bed, I get so upset I zone out and begin stabbing myself or breaking things. I've wanted to kill myself since I was 11 and come very close to success at least once.

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>>8285315
>I was 4
>I was at my grandparents
>They still have a 16 year old son
>Im bored playing on the stairs
>I wander into his room
>Tell him im bored
>He offers to play a "game"
>Typical shit goes down
>Grandpa walks in son, anon wft
Side note my grandpa looks like Big Boss
>He immediately takes me home
>Im playing with Pokemon cards
>Mom asked so anon what did you do
>I give a hand signal of what a 4 year old thinks a blowjob is.
>Disgust.jpg
>She opened an investigation and took me to a psychiatrist.
>Nothing came of investigation but I have been told my grandmother beat the ever loving shit out of him.
That women has no fury

>>8286946
Sorry I meant hell hath no fury

>>8285315
no diddling or anything weird, straight mtf

>>8285315

I never got molested as a kid. There was a moment where I was nearly molested (apparently) but I had no idea that's what the guy was planning until my father told me his interpretation when I told him about that moment years later.

>>8287001
Well tell the story, duh.

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>be me, 8yo
>the bully of my class(9-10yo) grabbed me by the waist while choking, and husrting me, his dick never penetrated my butthole tho
>i believed i was raped until i turned 12 years old
>damage is done, i grew up as a shy, submissive and efeminate bottom.
>shiet

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>be ftm
>7 or 8
>brothers 15 or 14 year old friend lures me into brothers room and makes me suck his dick
>after I bit his dick he pulls down my pants and puts it in my ass
>rest I don't really remember
>I grow up angry, shy, and hardly had friends but when I got friends I was always an asshole to them
never told anyone about it besides you guys just now because I wasn't able to come to terms with it until recently and theres still quite a bit from that day that I repress. never saw the dude afterwards as far as I remember

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my cousin did some things with me multiple times when i was 6. I live in the south. trust me when I tell you everything they say about this place is true.
A catholic priest raped me way more times than that, though. I'd be interested in hearing peoples stories if they've been diddled by a priest. but the thing is, this guy is still after me, too. Last time he did something was a few months ago. I can't file a report against him because my family doesn't believe me and I don't have any hard proof against him. Whenever hes around me I get stiff with fear.
basically he took me in a closet and made me suck him off. Sometimes he'd touch me, but no real hard penetration. Repeat x6.
pic semi-related

>>8287727
>I can't file a report against him because my family doesn't believe me

tell the cops not ur parents

I wasn't and I'm gay.

My cousin got molested and is gay too and blames it on that

I pressed this kid up against fence in grade school. I think I was 12. Pulled his pants down and thrust between his thighs, don't know why I did it. He told his parents and they set up a meeting with the school and my parents but we just denied it. My mom donated to the police chiefs fund or something and they buried it. The kid was like autistic or something you couldn't trust him anyway. My dad was pissed because he thought I was gay.

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>>8285896
>But my dad was raped by his brother, and a couple of other guys including catholic priest lol.

HA HA!
That Is funny!

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>>8286007
>I hate churches so going to AA/NA meetings are nothing but flashbacks.

If you're interested in meetings like that there are other venues available, that aren't affiliated with any religion.

Secular Sobriety, for example.

>>8287727
Contact the police, the sheriff's department, and the F.B.I.

It's important that you go through the proper legal avenues and have his arrested and taken to trial so that he can't skip town (a common tactic for priests)

Take him to court and sue him into oblivion. Sue the church as well.

The Catholic church shouldn't get away with this crap anymore.

>>8290092
Catholicism is a fucking cancer. Suing really is the best way to deplete their power and influence.

>>8287896
You're a monster.

>>8290097
>Catholicism is a fucking cancer.
Yeah so many terrorist attacks.
Wait...

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>>8290110
Want to learn more about the atrocities committed by the Vatican?

See western history for the past two millenia.

>>8290124
I'm more concerned with western history in the last two decades.

>>8290092
>>8290097

Serious thanks for the concerns. I actually do plan to sue him once I have the means necessary, but it just isn't possible right now. For one thing hes my godfather and a very close friend of the family which is why this happens so much. No one believes me because of this, too. I need to cut ties with my family (theyre extreme right jesus-nuts and dont support me being gay) or my moms going to do everything she can to stop me. Theres some other shit too but I'll keep this short. Thanks again, though. I'll contact them when I can. I just don't think it'll go well since I don't have a lot of evidence.

>>8285896
I am bisexual. I have a girlfriend and I am in a relativly happy relationship.
I´ve tried to have sex with other dudes before.. I´m submissive when it comes to other dudes. Every time they are about to fuck me I freak out and tell them I can´t go trough with it (usually just give them a blowjob and let them cum in my mouth after that... to seem like less of a tease)
So no... I´m not turned on by situations similar to the rape(rapes). When the guy is ´´too dominant´´I usually start to tear up and break down mentally, sometimes I even just black out completely.

>>8285936
Kick-boxing is a great way for me to release stress and sort of just ´´zone´´out for a little while.
Relationships are hard for me because my situation usually comes up one way or another. Either when I´m having one of my ´episodes´ or when I´m not comfortable doing something sexually. I end up telling them why it´s happening because I don´t like leaving them in the dark about it all.
I´m only able to have sex with people I really trust.
There was this one guy who I met randomly through a friend, he said we should meet up.
>I already knew he wanted to bang me.
>got a little drunk before I met him
>had sex
He told me it was great so I guess that works too.

>>8290412
>I just don't think it'll go well since I don't have a lot of evidence.

Don't make that assumption.
Don't let that thought stop you from telling the truth.

Considering that he's a priest it's very likely that he has preyed upon other people.

If you come forward then others may come out with their testimony as well.

This creep is going to keep getting away with his crimes as long as you let him.

>all these people getting raped by multiple randoms throughout their lives
>can't even get laid voluntarily once
It's not fair.

I'm still pretty fucked up regardless.

>>8287011

Well I was really young, I have no idea how young. Apparently 9-ish, but I thought for sure I was younger than that. Anyway, my family went to a party held in the parking lot attached to a building that a relative of my father owned. My father said we weren't actually attending the party and that he just went there to talk to someone than we left. But then my father always talks for too long a goddamned time, so it makes sense it felt like I was actually attending. So a bald guy in his 30s calls me to go into the basement, saying he wanted to show me something. I think he said it was Spider-man 2. He led me into a room and told me to stay there. Instead, this boy came in and said, "Come over here, I have a movie playing." So he led me to the adjacent room where I think Spider-man 2 actually was on the TV. When the guy came back he was furious and he asked me why I didn't stay in the other room. I said it was because the other boy led me there. Anyway, he pushed me out back to the party. My only thoughts were, "You didn't have to be such a butthole about it." When I thought back to that memory I wondered what it was he wanted to show, so one day I just told my dad that memory to see if he knew the guy so I could know what it was that he was going to show me. Then my father suggested that that guy might have wanted to touch me. It was a surprising revelation, because I hadn't thought it was anything but harmless.

>can't even type the story on a Mongolian canvas imageboard without tears

Fuck

Wasn't diddled, but i recall a female cousin lifting me over her and using me to mimic sex when I was really young. 6 or younger. I still don't really understand.

No, thank God. Turned out gay anyway though.

I do have a relevant story.

I'm going through a box in the crawlspace and find a notebook packed with all these pictures and watercolors and old Polaroid photos. There are also sporadic diary style entires and I realize that it's my mom's travel diary from when she was twenty or so.

This was when she spent a few months traveling through Greece. There are map snippets, pictures of her with other travelers, watercolors of these spectacular bays and beaches.

Then a little entry, done in the smallest handwriting I've ever seen. Some guy she met at a party followed her into an isolated place and raped her.

And after that she didn't do any watercolors or take many photos.

Gave me a lot of insight into some of my mom's behavior and how she operates. I never let her know that I knew about this, just put the journal back exactly where I'd found it and felt really shitty and kinda guilty for a while.

>>8295415
>Gave me a lot of insight into some of my mom's behavior and how she operates.
Explain?

>>8295510
She's never been good at forming lasting relationships with people. She has a habit of pushing people away if they get too involved or anything approaching clingy.

She also reflexively hit me in the face once when I came up behind her without notice and touched her shoulder.

Stuff like that, that gained a lot of context after I found her travel diary.

>>8295415
holy shit that's messed. Has she seen a therapist about it? If not you should definitely try and find a way to talk to her about it. That's such a sad story though to think someone just abandoned so much of their life, wrote it down, then stashed it away.

>>8295553
Sad. Do you think you will ever let her know?

i'm terrified by sexual contact and when my gf tries to get intimate with my i will sometimes be okay with it but other times randomly break down crying or hide and lock myself in the bathroom for hours

other than that no negative side effects :^]

Mother used to prostitute me out when I was 3, 4, and 5 for money to gamble with. It definitely messed me up, along with a whole lot of other abuse until I was 14.

I distinctively remember that the men were pretty fine with pump and dumps but the women wanted you to suffer. A lot of powerplay and violence. To this day I still get horrible anxiety attacks being alone near groups of women.

Family sexually abused me too and that messed me up even more. I'm like 99% sure I wouldn't have turned out a tranny if I had a caring and different family instead.

I can get into specifics if anyone wants but it's not that fun of a trip down memory lane.

>>8295616
>I'm like 99% sure I wouldn't have turned out a tranny if I had a caring and different family instead.
Why do you think that?

>>8295657
I never related to the "feel like a girl inside and born in the wrong body" thing. Still don't.

Long sad story of a lot of really influential things when I was growing up that made me want to be female, rather than feeling like one.

>>8295657
Because in most cases sexual deviants are a byproduct of child abuse

>>8295698
Why don't you relate to it?

What were the influential things besides the abuse?

>>8295705
Hmm, okay..

So my mother had me just to milk my father for money and wanted a girl but she couldn't abort me. So she used to beat me a lot and tell me all the time I should have been born female. I started to believe it pretty early.

I remember my mother and family bringing home friends and their daughters and lavishing love and praise on them. They made sure to make me watch and told me stuff like I didn't deserve to be loved like they did.

More or less same treatment when I did go to school, teachers constantly reminding the boys they were horrible pieces of garbage and should be dead and treating the girls like princesses.

A lot of abandonment. A whole lot of needing someone to help me and rescue me but there was nobody there because who the fuck wants to help a little boy lol. Seeing so many times and incidents when they helped a girl instead. I was jealous of it.

The icing on the cake of the ironic story of my life is that when I was transitioning when I was 15 my mom kicked me out because she decided she wanted a son instead.

Kind of really hammered into my head I was born male and will die male and I'm just a guy taking girl pills no matter what I cut off or put in me.

>>8295738
>So she used to beat me a lot and tell me all the time I should have been born female.
>I remember my mother and family bringing home friends and their daughters and lavishing love and praise on them. They made sure to make me watch and told me stuff like I didn't deserve to be loved like they did.
Jesus. The family friends were happy with that?

>More or less same treatment when I did go to school, teachers constantly reminding the boys they were horrible pieces of garbage and should be dead and treating the girls like princesses.
>Seeing so many times and incidents when they helped a girl instead.
What happened at school and elsewhere where it wasn't your family at fault?

I'm sorry you experienced that. I'm not convinced in any direction about how people come to be trans but I can see why you think your treatment did it.

>>8295787
Yeah, they were happy with it. The abuse from my mother was mostly psychological and neglect. The abuse from the rest of my family was more physical. I still have speech impediments and discolored spots all over my body. Immune system is trash. All kinds of fucked up stuff xd

Uhh, well at school they knew I was completely fucked up and they had counselers and stuff talk to me, but they groomed me for more abuse, basically told me I deserved it and was a bad person, lot of self hate issues now today because of it.

>>8295825
>and they had counselers and stuff talk to me, but they groomed me for more abuse, basically told me I deserved it and was a bad person,
Why? Describe this in more detail please, and the worse treatment boys got compared to girls.

>>8295869
I don't know why they did what they did lol

As far as treating boys worse it was mostly just verbal and behavioral things that I couldn't really give specific examples for

>>8295880
What did they actually do to tell you that you deserved it and were a bad person?

You said there were incidents when they helped a girl instead of you. Could you give examples of those? And things they said that reminded boys they were horrible and girls they were princesses?

>>8295894
Oh.. I don't have specific examples for that. Just stuff I picked up over years and years growing up. Some of it probably wasn't even real and in my head but it still fucked me up either way

>be 13
>get repeatedly raped over the course of weeks
>can't get hard to girls
>get throbbing, leaking, diamonds when remembering
>panic and have 'episodes' every time with guys
>resort to gloryholes and masks because barriers
>disgusted by self and dick, obsessed with dick die to constant frustration

Checkmate, atheists.

I wasn't
am fem CD now

>>8290110
Lmao you're a moron if you gauge a religions shitness by how many terrorist attacks it causes and nothing else

I was never molested or anything and I still turned out to be a homo

>>8296731
>am fem CD now
Is FemCD your rap name or something? You a gangsta?

do you remember clearly when you get raped? i used to have sleepovers with a friend at his grand moms house. i was 10 he was 15. he frequently got me to watch porn with him and tried to get me to blow him. i don't remember doing it, but still remember what his dick looked like.
And at night we slept next to each other after playing video games until 3 am. I'm sure he touched me and stuff but don't remember being penetrated.
never told anyone. but not that upset by it now

>>8290145
the catholic church officials are guilty of raping children. muslim religious officials merely look the other way in cases of child rape commited by their religious cohorts

checkmate christians

>>8290412
im sure all these reasons are legit in your view but im telling you as an outsider looking in they arent. Reporting a crime like this requires nothing but having access to a phone. Please just do it, it might make your home life hell for a while but your parents will either come around or they wont in which case its best to cut them out of your life as soon as possible because they dont love you. Im sure given your situation you can find extended family or friends to stay with if the worst happens

>>8292603
*hugs u in mongolian*

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>>8285315
didn't get diddled but when I was 11 I was getting robbed, I did something stupid, and ended up getting my dick sliced.
Didn't really affect my sexuality (gay), but my dick looks like Samuel L. Jackson's eye in Captain America 2.

>>8285315
got sexually humiliated by a babysitter who made others watch and join her. also got raped by a local pedo, who was protected by one of his other victim's parents, but because i was alone and 4 i dont really like talking about it because i can't 100% trust my memory and i don't wanna get anything wrong when it's about something important.
i have a fear of women/their judgement and public humiliation. super glad i didn't fetishize that shit as a coping mechanism t b q h. but i was kinda psychologically broken for a long time, and i'm still in the early stages of recovery. i always kinda reflexively feared fucking up and getting negative backlash when interacting with women, and never had much confidence. i have pretty bad social anxiety and depression, as well as some minor body dysmorphia and some sexual hang ups
>tfw when i tell people they dont always take me seriously because i'm a 6' masc cis guy
>tfw scary man irl but still feel like a scared kid on the inside

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>>8299288
It's ok anon, we're here for you. Now, just pull down your pants and get on all fours, I'll make you feel real good.

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>>8299415
not gonna happen faggot, i only top

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>>8299458
>rape victim
>top
Sure buddy.

>>8285315
I don't know if this counts but....

>be me, a 10 year old boy
>neighbour a year older than me comes over to play at my house
>start play fighting because that's what boys do
>rolling around on the floor
>neighbour ends up on top of me
>try to push him off but he's bigger than me and doesn't budge
>"guess I'll just have to wait for him to move"
>he doesn't
>suddenly starts grinding his dick on my dick
>he gets hard
>i get hard
>woah what's this
>firstsexualexperience.jpg
>continues for like a minute until my parents come into the room and he jumps off
>ends up happening 3/4 other times when he comes over to play until his family move house to another area

I would say I'm mostly straight but I definitely have some more than incidental bisexual tendencies (e.g. I have a stronger like for dick than a "straight" guy should have and would most likely not say no to a bit of casual frotting with a femboy/twink)

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>>8299481
Yeah, molestation victims never internalize the trauma and become predators in themselves.

It just doesn't happen, honest.

>>8298080
I do, but I was older then than most posters itt and it was repeated, so I don't think that's the rule.

I got raped when I was like seven years old. Mom's bf drugged me and dislocated my jaw.

I have a butt fetish but that is pretty normal.