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Hey /lgbt/, sorry for the shitty coming out thread but I need

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Hey /lgbt/, sorry for the shitty coming out thread but I need help.
I'm 18, MtF tranny, and I've been repressing, crossdressing and gaming myself away from dysphoria for as long as I can remember. But a good year ago my parents forced me stop, and dysphoria hit me like a brick wall, and I've been wanting hang myself or come out and begin to transition, but I have no idea how make my parents accept me this way : I think they love me, but they are pretty conservative-right-wing (if you know France a bit they've been going to the manifestations against same sex mariage). They're kinda ready for me coming out as gay since they made not-so-subtle allusions to a child coming out as gay, but tranny, and furthermore MtF, is a really different deal.
So do you have any idea, arguments or advices ti convince them I need to go to a therapist ? Thanks by advance, appreciate it.
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you suffer from a mental illness you just a femine faggot ill your not a women you never will bei would pound ur french boipuss with my big anglo cock and give u my beady seed


ps vote le pen
fuck marcon at mudslime loving cuck
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>>8206903
shut up nigger

>>8206883
I think it might not be a great idea to tell them you're mtf upfront like that if they are as right wing as you say they are. Maybe try to get them to let you see a therapist and look up ones that specialize in gender and ask to go to them. It sucks coming out to conservative parents because you literally have no clue how they will react when you come out. Results can be from them accepting you to them throwing you out because their beliefs are more important than their child. Just be prepared for the worst.
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>>8206883

dont listen to this >>8206913
mental midget tell your conservative parents your a far right trap and you wanna find yourself a nice white christian bf to settle down and have kids with they will prefer that you are at instead of some bottom bitch commie faggot who hates people like there parents
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>>8206883
Don't listen to this dodo head dummy>>8206943
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>>8206883
this>>8206950
guy is a subversive jew dont listen to him only listen to your heart and this guy >>8206943
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>>8206883
Unless you're in a position where you can live on your own or have someone else you can stay with, don't come out to them. Unless you're 100% sure your parents will be okay with you coming out it's not worth the risk until you're prepared for the worst.
>>
>>8206883
Can you just self med in secret?
>>
OP here

>>8206913
Thanks for the reply anon, that's actually a great idea since they're trying to get me to a psychologist for my "depression". This might turn out well.

>>8207021
Thank you too, I'm not prepared for the worst but I don't think they'd go this far. Won't come out to them yet tho, but if I can get them to pay for my transition before I move out y'know...

Sorry for the trolls, I mentionned right-wing-leaning parents but I didn't mean this to get political.
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>>8207035
I'd love to, but I don't think I can sneak the pills in, my mother is always at home and both of my parents are very intrusive so I think they would find out really fast, and it might go wrong.
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>>8207035
(thank for the reply tho)
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>>8207051
Even if they don't outright kick you out they can still interfere with things. If you tell them you're trans and they don't approve, your relationship with them could go sour very quickly.
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>>8207063
Yeah, that's what I fear the most, the original plan even was to move out far away before starting anything, but this is going slower than I expected, and why not try, you know ? Even if it's behind their back, every day is worst than the others and my body is getting stupid masc, I'll be far away in a year or two anyways.
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>>8207061
Can you get a PO box or have the post office hold your mail for a couple of days? I don't know how it works in France but private carriers like UPS or Fedex usually have their own delivery boxes you can rent.
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>>8206883
>I've been repressing, crossdressing and gaming myself away from dysphoria for as long as I can remember.
What did you do to repress specifically?

>But a good year ago my parents forced me stop,
How could they stop you crossdressing in your own time or playing girl characters in games?
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>>8206883
to* (the ti at the end)
I suck.

>>8207130
I didn't know about that, that's actually might be a good solution. Thanks anon !

>>8207139

>What did you repress specifically ?
Every bit of feminity I can express in any way, it gets my parents really angry at me every time.

>How could they stop you crossdressing in your own time ?
I don't have my own time anymore, my mother stopped working so she is almost always watching us. When she goes out with my father and my sister, I put my brothers to sleep and still fit miraculously in her clothes, but it's really exceptionnal.

>Or playing girl caracters in games ?
Gaming kinda ruined a year of my school life so I'm not supposed to play anymore, I can still sneak in two to five hours per week but it's not really enough. Also my voice can't remotely pass anymore and training is going really slow because I suck and I have almost no time for it, so I can't even e-girl anymore (don't judge me). Life sucks.
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>>8207203
What femininity do you like to express?

Why does your sister go out with her while you stay at home? Can't you go out on your own or stay in your own room?
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>>8207203
Read it wrong, I really suck.

>What did you DO TO repress specifically ?
I stopped classical dance, cooking at home, wasn't allowed to do horse riding (still doesn't make sense to me) or artistic gymnastic, my sister got roasted because she used to dress me up, play dolls or do other "girly" stuff with me and her friends and I was forced into sciences, engineering, sports and computering/gaming. I'm way freer now than I used to be, but I definitely wasted my childhood.
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>>8207223

>What feminity would you like to express ?
Now that I'm freer, I like to think that I behave more "femininely", really stupid things like sitting with my legs close or crossed or playing with my hair (I had to stop doing both, I was told it was not manly blablabla), growing my hair out and telling them to fuck off when they try to get me to cut them, paying attention to what I eat and what I look like, even styling my hair a bit (I had to stop doing that, I was mocked at school and at home), listening to the music I like and not braindead manly rap, watching what I like (anime, sorry), almost stopped masturbating (friends pressured me to start at a school trip and I never stopped) also I'm getting close with my sister again (the roast made her a bit distant).

>Why does your sister go out with them while you stay at home ?
Somebody has to do it, she's my little sister of almost two years but she is not as introverted as I am, and she acts way more mature than I do. Also we both skipped a grade but I got held back and she didn't so we're in the same grade (actually don't tell her but we're kind of like twins). Finally I'm not really close of my parents or their friends, while she really is, and I disagree with them on almost everything, and she doesn't. We both agree that our little brothers and sisters are fails and that it's our parents' fault, and we're both pretty introverted.

(cont.)
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>>8207333
(cont.)

>Can't you go out on your own or stay in your own room ?
My room isn't my own, I don't have any privacy at home, my father just ran in to check what I was doing, I alt-tabbed in time but I panicked. I go to a dumb private catholic high school, even tho my friends are more against than with its policy I have no idea how they would react, I think they would be accepting but 1. what-ifs 2. they have similar parents so going to their places to do stuff or ordering HRT to their addresses is excluded. I met offline with a Twitter friend who would probably be accepting and has a place if his own 3 days ago, he may be the solution but I don't know about that yet.
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>>8207333
>Also we both skipped a grade but I got held back and she didn't so we're in the same grade (actually don't tell her but we're kind of like twins).
What's it like sharing a grade with her? How are you like twins?

In what way is she more mature than you?

How much does she know about you being feminine?

>>8207338
That sucks, why not?
>>
I forgot more personnality-related stuff like letting myself cry and behave more discreet and gentle and soft and submissive and less assertive instead of fighting everhthing along with my parents ("man up anon", "wtf are you not a man ?" (XD le funny one), "you are my son act like it", I ended up believing it I guess) and more deliberate stuff like carrying bags like handbags, walking like in the guides to walk like a girl or singing an octave higher than I would. It's kinda AGP but I don't give a damn I enjoy it so much.
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>>8207436

>What's it like sharing a grade with her?
We're in different classe with different professors but we still work mostly together and share program, timetables, exams, comrades, gossips and some friends. It's actually pretty enjoyable, but it restricts a bit more my private life.

>How are you like twins?
We grew up together, she never "arrived" in my life and took my parents' attention away, she has been in my life and we have been kind of best friends for as long as I can remember, almost always one with the other, and since she skipped a grade first, I'm as sub as she is dom and I really wanted to be like her before my parents kicked in, if an age difference were to be felt I would be the little sister.

>In what way is she more mature than you?
She has way better grades, she knows what she wants to do with her future

>How much does she know about you being feminine?
She used to be at the center of it before The Roast, she was the one dressing me up and doing my make up and cooking with me letting me play with her friends. I think she noticed something fairly recently and she probably remembers but I didn't tell her much except that I was envious of her, so I don't know if she knows more, and I don't know how she would react either.

>That sucks, why not?
I didn't come out to him yet, and I don't know if he'd be willing to help me if he was accepting. I believe he would be, then he could be a backup plan if I was kicked out after coming out I guess, but that would be bad, I don't want to depend on him, he has already done much for me, for free. Also, I forgot but it's pretty important, we have a kinda ambiguous relationship, and I don't know if it's because he is gay or because he is a chaser. I was on the verge of coming out once and he told me stuff like he loved me anyways or he'd be accepting of anything and I could tell him everything, and he'll wait, so he might know or suspect it.
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This >>8207465 was meant to be a reply to this >>8207333
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>>8206883
if you can find the money, self-med with blockers til you can get out of there whatever else you also do, that way you won't be left with worse future prospects by having to wait to transition

qhi.co.uk stocks spiro (100mg every 12 hours), cypro (50mg daily) and bicalutamide (25-50mg daily), ask /HRTgen/ if you need more info
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>>8207677
I'll try to find the money, with my parents it shouldn't be too much of a problem, thank you ! The info is really useful.
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>>8206883
>>>8207436
>>In what way is she more mature than you?
>She has way better grades, she knows what she wants to do with her future
Sorry, I forgot to finish this, I really suck. There's not much to add tho.
She has way better grades, she knows what she wants to do with her future, and in general she takes herself in charge better than I do. For example I have to manage my treatment with a psychiatrist all by myself but it's a chore they force upon me and I always fuck it up while she does it with her orthodontist just fine, or once they let me the appartment all alone during summer holidays and I woke up too late to leave it clean, so I had just enough time to hide traces of crossdressing and I even forgot to close the door before leaving. It's become normal with time but I don't remotely have the same freedom.
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>>8207635
Why are you in different classes?

>It's actually pretty enjoyable,
Sounds nice.

Why did you both skip grades and why were you held back? The vidya?

>I'm as sub as she is dom
What do you mean?

>I didn't tell her much except that I was envious of her,
How did she take that?

>>8207819
>but it's a chore they force upon me and I always fuck it up while she does it with her orthodontist just fine,
Can you explain the difference more specifically?

Why do you have a psychiatrist?

>It's become normal with time but I don't remotely have the same freedom.
What less freedom do you get?

Why don't you get allowed your own room, a private computer, etc?
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>>8206883

>Why are you in different classes?
The school, my parents or both decided it was better this way I guess.

>Why did you both skip grades and why were you held back? The vidya?
Yup, League of Legends, and especially as a cliche e-girl playing female supports in vocal with boys of my age acting like I am a girl of their age, is fucking addictive.

>What do you mean?
She is able to do crazy stuff like taking decisions by herself and defending them against others or forcing them on others, going as far as opposing our parents, I can't do that and I even do pretty much the exact opposite, I almost don't do anything by myself and I almost always follow people. Doesn't make much sense since I think I see her as the female model I strive to be.

>How did she take that?
She replied she was also envious of me, and she added it was because I was """naturally""" (XD good one) good at math and sciences. Either she didn't understand or she wanted to hide that she did, we didn't talk again about it. Things are easier this way I guess. If I end coming out to my family I'd definitely come out to her first, I know I can trust her to at least keep the secret and I think she'd be accepting.

>Can you explain the difference more specifically?
I always get out of medecine and forget to go to our appointments or to call to get one, my sister handles something similar with her orthondist perfectly. It's dumb but pretty representative.

>Why do you have a psychiatrist?
ADHD (don't laugh) and aspergers.

>What less freedom do you get?
I'm not supposed to have Internet 24/7 (hackergirl XD), a bad phone without Internet, when I want to go out I have to fight for it and to call non stop and to be back before 11pm, she has the exact opposite.

>Why don't you get allowed your own room, a private computer, etc?
I have a computer and a room of my own, the concept of privacy is just unknown in this household.
>>
>>8208479
>The school, my parents or both decided it was better this way I guess.
You could/could have asked for that to be changed. What did she think of it? You could ask your parents if it was their decision.

>especially as a cliche e-girl playing female supports in vocal with boys of my age acting like I am a girl of their age, is fucking addictive.
Sounds great! I'm not much of a gamer, what specifically sticks in your mind as being so fun?

>Doesn't make much sense since I think I see her as the female model I strive to be.
It can be tough to follow a role model.

>I was """naturally""" (XD good one) good at math and sciences.
Maybe she didn't mean it was because of being male?

>It's dumb but pretty representative.
What else like that and the being left alone that weekend has happened?

>ADHD (don't laugh) and aspergers.
Those don't require psychiatric help do they?

>when I want to go out I have to fight for it and to call non stop and to be back before 11pm, she has the exact opposite.
You could complain about how unfair it is? Does she think it's unfair too or stand up for you about it?

>the concept of privacy is just unknown in this household.
Ask for more privacy? Or, well, at least move things so your computer faces away from the door so you get plenty of time to tab away when someone comes in?
>>
>>8206883

>You could/could have asked for that to be changed. What did she think of it? You could ask your parents if it was their decision.
She looked like she'd rather us being in separate classes, she also has her own friends and me too I guess. I'm not really the type to ask for things to be changed anyway, and I didn't bother to ask to my parents, it didn't seem that useful.

>Sounds great! I'm not much of a gamer, what specifically sticks in your mind as being so fun?
It was! Being seen and acting like I "truly" felt on the inside for the first and only time in my life, doing it in the back if my parents and embodying a cute female character in a stereotypical female role (healing and buffing the rest of the team) felt ridiculously good, and the game itself and the people was some fun.

>Maybe she didn't mean it was because of being male?
She didn't, everybody think I have a natural talent for sciences because I am born this way, not specificaly because they think I'm male (or I don't think so at least), what bothers me is that I am good at sciences it's because I strive for it.

>What else like that and the being left alone that weekend has happened?
I just always forget or fail for stupid reasons important things, and she doesn't.

>Those don't require psychiatric help do they?
I don't know, I have to take medicine and do "mental exercises" online for ADHD and she wants to stay aware of my school life because of asperger. I wouldn't know if these actually help.

>You could complain about how unfair it is?
I actually do, but they use the year I failed as an excuse to keep control over my life.

>Does she think it's unfair too or stand up for you about it?
She does, but it doesn't help, they just don't want to change a thing. I almost never go out and my Incredible Hacker Skills granted me 24/7 Internet accsess so I manage to live with it.

(cont.)
>>
>>8208968
(cont.)

>Ask for more privacy? Or, tell, at least move things so your computer faces away from the door so you get plenty of time to tab away when someone comes in?
I did, and I managed to get my computer, Twitter and email account's privacy up to a decent level (I have the passwords and they promised they wouldn't look (except if there was some emergency like if I disapeared over a night)). They think what they do is normal, so I can't get them to give me much more. I tried but they told me they wanted to see my computer when they enter my room.
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>>8207082
How masc?
>>
>>8209070
Facial and body hair, tall as fuck, stupid face, enormous nose, wide shoulders, ugly hands and feets (huge feets), I think I could go on for a while.
>>
>>8208968
>I'm not really the type to ask for things to be changed anyway, and I didn't bother to ask to my parents, it didn't seem that useful.
That's pretty tragic...

>what bothers me is that I am good at sciences it's because I strive for it.
Do you tell people so?

>but they use the year I failed as an excuse to keep control over my life.
But you're a year older than her anyway?!

>I almost never go out
Point this out and say how they're ruining things for you!

>>8208993
Do they keep control like that on all your siblings too?
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>>8206883
take the parent you have most intimate with in private,talk to them fist.
then see how they react and from there decide
>>
>>8206883

>That's pretty tragic...
I guess it is, I kinda got used to it.

>Do you tell people so?
I do, but they don't believe me. I'd say either they don't want to believe it or I don't act like it, since I honnestly act like some kind of genius in class because my father forced enough science into me in middle school to act like it for another solid year.

>But you're a year older than her anyway?!
Almost 2 actually, 21 month and 3 weeks, but neither us nor our parents act like it so I don't reallt care.

>Point this out and say how they're ruining things for you!
I do, but they are very convinced they are doing things right. It actually doesn't bother me that much honestly, so I don't fight for it when I'm not going out which happens like once a month at best.

>Do they keep control like that on all your siblings too?
They don't, but for the little ones (2 brothers and 1 sister, not including my not-so-little sister) (I'm the elder by the way) I think they're more tired of parenting than deliberately favoriting them, and my sister is way too assertive to let them get control over her life like they did over mine

>>8212725
That would be my mother, if I were to try I think I'd do it that way but I'm not sure I will, they both have pretty bold opinions to say the least on LGBT+ stuff.
>>
This >>8214533 was meant to be a reply to this >>8211027
>>
>>8214533
It feels like you've kind of given up in your life OP. Please be optimistic!

>my sister is way too assertive to let them get control over her life like they did over mine
You could try to be more assertive?
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