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So my manager told some of my colleagues about one of my colleagues sexuality as a joke. Really stressed me out because i wasnt out at the time. Already have poor mental health that affects my physical heath and this has made me dread going in and I've had a lot of absences. Is it illegal? I have another job lined up so should i confront him about it before i leave? I feel like he might say i was a shit worker unless i explain why i'm so stressed and sad at work and have been absent a lot.
depends on what country / state you live in but I would tell your coworker regardless and possibly HR if you aren't planning on staying at that job anyways, they deserve to know.
Scotland, okay I wasn't sure if it was possible it makes things worse? Or if it isn't a good enough reason or whatevs. Don't want him to get in trouble because he has a kid too

Tldr: it's not illegal, but most companies have a confidentiality policy to protect employees in situations like this. Go complain to HR.
This is why you shouldn't come out.
oooh jackpot.

you have major legal fuckery on your side m8

you can fuck them over good
also lets be friends
Can never have too many friends. How would you go about it?
>Can never have too many friends.
You should not have friends.
also where in scotland are you
Moved to one of the islands a few years back, lack of gays is killing me. I'm too great to not have friends.
oh the islands damn, i see your problem
I disagree. The bad outcomes are horrible, but unavoidable. In the end it puts a honest face on the people you work for.

If I had an employee who told me on a Friday that they were gay, I'd ask "well, you're coming to work on Monday right?"

A decent employer who values his employees wouldn't give a fuck one way or the other, and would make sure the other employees had the same mindset.
Got to experiment with a few straight guys which has been fun thooo

Where you from?
Yeah thats how i expect managers to be. I haven't told him I'm gay before but put my orientation on forms n stuff so hes probs seen it. If not hes probs heard chatty islanders spreading it around. It probably is unavoidable but if it is than I will. Hes told me I do a 6/10 at my job so i don't think he values me that much haha
On forms? What forms would that even go on? From a US perspective that's weird.
>I disagree.
Well you're wrong.
Coming out at work is a completely unnecessary step and only puts your career at risk.

You don't need to know intimate details about someone's private life in order to work with them.
You just need to be able to get along and have a good balance of strength/weakness.
Being gay has no influence on how well someone can do his job, so it's unnecessary information.

The only exception I can think of would be transitioning, as people will eventually notice.
But if you already transitioned and pass, then nobody at work needs to know.
Equality Act 2010
Which part of it applies?
Most application forms you fill in for work have like a sexual orientation option for something called the equal opportunities and human rights or something like that. It's to make sure you don't get treated unfairly supposedly so the fact he did that was shameful. You do surveys and stuff as well which has the same section in it.

And yeah being gay does not correlate with your ability to do your job at all. It's just the fact he finds it a joke when I've gone through so much shit because of it that makes me stressed out about being there and working for someone like that.

I'm tight with my colleagues and they're always interested by it and talk about girls and ask me about guys n I don't see why i should have to hide it. Also due to poor mental health i end up constantly thinking about whether im doing anything "too gay" and that people im uncomfortable with knowing will find out and it stresses me
>It's to make sure you don't get treated unfairly supposedly
No, it's to make sure a statistically expected amount of gay or whatever people apply.

If a company reports fewer than expected gay job applicants, then the government assumes they are somehow homophobic.

The same logic that got rail companies ordered to advertise jobs in women's magazines because they had too few female applicants for train driver. Not a joke.
Oh my bad, that sounds wrong tho? Like what if women on average were generally less interested in being a train driver than men...
Well yes, it's pretty stupid. Plus those forms are always optional anyway, so it's never going to be complete data.

I don't know what they do about race. Is a business in a London borough supposed to match the racial mix of that borough, or the whole city, or the country?
if u make a statement about overhearing a sexual joke between two coworkers and a third not present, all that will happen is the entire office will assume your way too chatty/not focused on work.

the two trouble makers will clam up/lawyer up, and say you misheard the context,

the person they were joking about will side with them, saying its a common friendly male joke time, and will want to keep the story quiet after that. this person will hate you for running to HR on their behalf.

and then those three will be a new office clique, with you as their shared object to rally around.

and then, the incompetent joke that is HR (serious HR ai when?!) will inform you there is nothing to be done, because you were nothing more than a witness to an event your not involved in.

before its over, somewhere along the way someone will figure out your sex, and broadcast it through the grapevine. and you will be confronted if its your reason for reporting what you overheard. it will be a smear campaign waged by corporate america (or scotland or watever).

if u want protections @ work in the form of management knowing your sexual preferences, all u ever wana do is change one: engaged to be married irl, change your DNR/living will, will&estate, insurance/beneficiary, gender/name on drivers license (or whatever document the uk looks at to determine employment eligibility)

(or if your really shy and your employer has keen eyes: blood / organ donation - deny it)

preferences and update the paperwork HR has on you. none of this is a verbal discussion, its just updating forms they already have on you, and expecting them to notice.

t. been a nurse since highschool.
>No, it's to make sure a statistically expected amount of gay or whatever people apply.

>If a company reports fewer than expected gay job applicants, then the government assumes they are somehow homophobic.

Really?? What? Do you have a source for any of this?
not necessarily. they can just as easily discriminate against you for checking the gay/trans/whatever box, and unless they're a huge company someone is specifically looking into (or maybe not even then) they can just as easily throw your application out because they think gays are icky. the government can't do shit just because you don't report having at least .3% of gays as employees. it goes both ways.

either way, though, it really shouldn't be mandatory to give your sexual orientation in a job application at all. probably best just to leave it blank in the future.
if u suspect a business isnt hiring u becoz discrimination, there are procedures to flush out the truth. checkout how (usa) griggs vs duke power co. came before scotus.

>>be male nurse. one day unit is learning new ekg machine.
>>"hey anon take off your shirt so we can all practice attaching ekg leads correctly"
>>"come on anon, your cute 20yr old man!"
>>coworker reaching for my scrub top shirt from behind me. everyone watching as a greenish bra is revealed on me.
>>pierced nipple rings visible through bra mesh
>>god damit women, i said no! that meant no!

boss, later that day: >>sorry anon i didnt think about what T meant on your employee gender data.

later they told me they hired me because of their perception of my sexuality. they figured a obviously gay (actually trans) would make patients/customers feel at ease. (every patient loved me)

we wernt doing the usual medical shit, flu shots etc.
damn, that's a really fucked up thing to go through. they should be more respectful of people's body autonomy, trans or not.

and i can see how being seen as slightly effeminate can be a good thing in nursing, specifically. guess it varies from field to field.
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