I have a crush on a straight guy. I think I might have feelings

somehow I don't have any straight friends and have never encountered this problem

>>8094103

OP here.

I haven't had a crush on a straight guy since I was 14, so we're talking in over a decade. I don't fall for straight guys usually. It's just this guy, for whatever reason, is pushing a lot of my buttons and it's got to me. It's humiliating. I haven't told him and don't intend to.

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>>8094075
I guess I've only ever been attracted to people who are into me.
Falling for a straight guy seems counter-productive.
Maybe you have a fear of intimacy and are deliberately sabotaging yourself?

>>8094171
>Maybe you have a fear of intimacy and are deliberately sabotaging yourself?

There's definitely been a pattern of me falling for guys that have just not been into me, or if they were into me they were also distant and unreliable.

Maybe I associate feelings of attraction with distance now because I've been so used to that being an element of it.

>>8094103
me again
>>8094171
>>8094244
I can really relate to this. I seem to always go for people I know full well it won't work.

>>8094075
>allowing yourself to crush on a straight guy
You deserve it for having no self-restraint.

ive got a little story for you, its something ive posted before too, but in another context

I've lead a pretty happy life, because I always thought I was asexual. I never had romantic or sexual thoughts about anyone, not even in my teens, even though my body and mind developed fairly normally. And that's probably why something so stupid hurts so much, it's because I've got no prior experience with things like this, and I'm in my late twenties.

Anyway, to the problem itself. About half a year ago, I started having these... a little bit more affectionate feelings for my long-time friend. He's pretty much the only friend I've ever had, we've known each other since highschool. I've never liked him like this in the past, of course I've always loved him as a friend, because he's been there to support me through some hard times, but never anything romantic or sexual.

But now, I fell absolutely in love with him, over course of couple months. I don't know why it happened, nothing about him or our friendship really changed, but I just started loving him very fiercely. These days, he's pretty much all I ever think about, and I masturbate thinking about him every day. I want to be his bottom, I want it more than anything else. I want him to take me, roughly. And I want to do sweet and lovey-dovey things with him, I want to go on dates and to the movies and all that usual crap.

Of course, it took me some time to gather the courage, but finally a couple months ago I had the balls to tell him about it. I told him about everything, my feelings and my sexual fantasies too. He took it nicely, listened carefully and told me there was nothing I should feel bad for. He really didn't mind, said he appreciates my feelings a lot, and even felt safe enough to joke about it a little. It didn't seem to weird him out in any way, and I was happy.

cont.

>>8094734

But then theres the part that bothers me. I never thought this would be more than just a fantasy, and I was actually quite sure that my confession would make him hate me, so I was prepared to face the truth, and just continue masturbating and fantasizing. That possibility, the very likely possibility, didn't make me sad or depressed, because I know how to deal with reality. I never bother with worrying about things I can't do shit about.

But he told me, my long-time friend who I had fallen in love with told me, that he'd gladly be my boyfriend, and top me as much as my butthole could just take, take me on all the dates he just could, if it made me happy. He said that he cares about me a lot too, and wants me to feel good and loved, and said I was being very cute because I admittedly cried a little bit while telling him all this. He said it wouldn't be a problem at all, and that he would be happy to do that much for his precious best friend.

...If it weren't for his girlfriend. My friend has a girlfriend, who is very possessive and fragile, and he doesnt want to leave her, or cheat on her. It's understandable, I know he saved her from suicide with his affection and love a couple years ago, and even now he said he's afraid she'd kill herself if he suddenly left. He needs to take care of the poor girl, and I know that and recognise that.

But still, it's tearing me to pieces. Knowing that my biggest fantasy is so close, yet so far. Knowing that he'd be willing to do it, that he'd want to love me and make me feel happy, but it will never happen.

That's why I'm depressed and sad, and have no idea what the fuck I should do. I've been trying to act casual around him, and I don't think he suspects that I'm feeling bad, but I honestly feel like I could kill myself any second. But I just love him so much, I don't want to leave him here, and go away myself. I want to stay as close to him as possible.

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What do you do if you're a straight girl with a crush on a gay guy?

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>>8094734
>>8094740
Oooh, my straight crush did something similar to me.
>after confessing my love and laying it out how we both know it wouldn't work yet I still have these feelings
"I wish you didn't tell me."
followed by
"Bro, if I were gay I'd totally date you."
It still sometimes hits me hard somedays. But I try to get by.

>>8094740
There's a few options for you.
>Find someone else
>Wait it all out
>Try to break them up, which might severely backfire on you.
On the other hand, from your post it sounds as if she's with him because he saved her, which of its own is a very unhealthy basis for a relationship so it ending might even be for the best.

But he could also have said that just to keep you on a little leash.

>>8094796
Thanks for replying, it means a lot to me.
It was about a month ago that I originally posted this, so it's been like 3 months since the actual events. But it's still slowly killing me, i quit my job and i havent been leaving the house and my bed unless I absolutely have to. It just feels so bad. I'm probably being really silly, and an awful romantic, but I'll most likely never really get over him

>>8094828
And thanks to you too, buddy. It makes me feel a bit better to see your replies.
Finding someone new isn't really an option for me, it just wouldn't feel right. And I know how stupid that sounds, I know I should just grow a pair and learn to let go, but I can't imagine myself with anyone else.
I'm not really sure if I want to break them up, I would probably feel really selfish, but it could be worth it in the end. How would one go about doing that? I honestly have no idea what i could do.

>>8094768
cry deeply

>>8094768
See if you can grope a feel of his peenus weenus?

I really don't want do give you false hopes but I was just like you a few months ago, I had this big crush on this straight foreign student. We became close friends real fast. I felt like he was flirting with me but I kept thinking I imagined it because I liked him and he always used to say shit like "I love pussy, I'm not Bi" etc in front of our friends and it really fucking hurt. But then as weeks passed we became closer and closer to the point where we would sleep together (nothing happened tho). We finally kissed 2 days before he went back to his country. We talked every day via whatsapp and he recently finally admitted he loved me and that he is not sure of his sexuality but that if he loved me meant he was bi then that's what he was.
This started like 7 months ago.
So my advice would be to test him to see the way he reacts to your signals. I really hope for you that he will react positively to these but if not you're gonna have to move on dude.
It fucking sucks and it hurts, I know.
But you can't keep living a shit life because of a straight guy.
I wish you the best man

>>8094740
>>8095211
How much does he love his girlfriend?
Is he really affectionate with her? Is it genuine or partially forced?
Why did the girl want to kill herself?

>>8094075
>be me
>used to have crushes
>mfw now I don't get them
How does it feel to have emotions op?
The solution is to hate them

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>became extremely bitter and cunty now my straight friend got himself a gf