Becoming my dead mother

>>7940818
Fellow MtF, my mother also died when I was pretty young which was pretty devastating for me growing up, this thought has crossed my mind before but I've never really payed it much attention, in what ways do you think you "became" trans because you wanted to be your mother?

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Because of these things, especially involving MTF, I'm starting to hate myself for being gay.
Sorry if that offends you, but I've been seeing and hearing a lot of bad things involving LGBT in the last few days.
I think this is making me bitter /pol/tard.

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I suppose I wanted to be like her. When I ran away from home, I was an angry and hateful survivor, just wanting to live alone and do great things, forever seething in pain. However, Once I was no longer in an environment that demanded such a surcivor's attitude, I started to want to be like my mother. I calmed down, slowed, sought peace and love and happiness over vengeance and survival. I still want to kill people, but I also want to raise children, teach them, care for them, sacrifice for them.

>>7940844
Stop. Real life is a lot more complicated than
>Muh degeneracy
Everyone has their own experience and reasoning for the decisions they make. They aren't always good decisions, but each of us can't really know that until we make them. There's no strategy guide to life, but I can guarantee that filling it with hatred and disdain for others won't be as charming as it seems.

>>7940818
My mom passed when I was 19, and I intended to transition for many years before that point. She was sort of tyrannical about controlling my personal life, so I spent most of that time living for her sake instead of my own under the impression that making my mom happy would make me happy. It didn't. I do like to humor the idea that I carry her spirit; we look a lot alike and I try to live up to her ideals, even where she failed to meet them. I just wish she was still around to offer guidance with regard to womanhood like many mothers do for their daughters. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. So it goes.

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>>7940818
>I think I became a tranny because I wanted to become my mother, who died when I was young...

>>7941173
I am not filling with hatred and disdain...

>>7940818
Don't worry, most girls want to become like their mother one day. Completely normal for females. I do it, too. It's good to have a role model/something to go for/orientate on

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>>7940818
just because you think something doesn't mean it is true.
being trans is not a choice.
you didn't choose to be trans to fill the void your mother left in your life.
do you feel closer to your mother now that you are experiencing femininity?
sure.
are you becoming your mother?
no.
stop overthinking it.
feminine clothes and makeup are bound to bring up thoughts of your mother.
love her and remember her.
but don't become her.

>>7942128
>do you feel closer to your mother now that you are experiencing femininity?
>sure.
Being mtf doesn't mean being closer to your mother...

>>7942144
'sure' in this case means 'whatever' not 'definitely'

Don't listen to the "it's not a choice" BS
You chose it, and if you have regrets...
At least you didn't murder school children.
Life goes on m8

>>7942156
Gotcha.

>>7942128
>being trans is not a choice.
being trans is a choice. having dysphoria is not a choice.

>>7944070
That's semantics. Many people would consider being trans to be defined by having dysphoria or "identifying" as the other sex, not by transitioning; you can be transgender but not have transitioned. I think that's the most common definition, actually.

>>7944081
"Identity" is malleable and dysphoria is poorly defined and can be eased without transition, or even fade away itself.

>>7944081
if you don't transition, you're just a person with dysphoria.

>>7940818
At least you don't want to fuck your mother or father like heterosexuals.

>>7941188
DELETE