/ftmg/ - female to male general

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>>7932953
I actually like cisbro..

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First for broken people need healing.

>>7932953
I'm seriously considering suicide, I don't know how else to convey how serious I'm hurting to the people around me.

I know I sound like a little bitch but please help

>>7932987
Have you tried talking to them

>>7932987
Go talk to a shrink. You are not hurting people it's just your brain saying so. The best thing you can do for the people you love is to get help.

>>7932983
true

>>7932981
fagit

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help me choose a name uwu
all of these but the lined ones were top 100 my birthyear

>>7933004
Yes and they know I'm hurting, but don't know how close I am to ending it (or don't care) and don't help/support me in any way.
Don't just say "look for new people", I have zero energy to at all.

>>7933043
When were you born, the 1930s?

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/ftmg/, how often do you masturbate?

Note: 3+/day is permavirgin level.

>>7933054
1998 sweden

>>7933043
>female names
>4chan filename
go away

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>>7933066
>1998
4chan is 18+ ki...

>>7933043
Solveig

>>7932953
This edition sucks.

Cisbro is welcome if he can give me a proper guide on how to shave and what the fuck is up with all these triple extra six blade razors.

>>7933043
>>7933066
Du är i fel tråd, gumman.

>>7933058
Ugh, trying to cut down because it's messing with how I relate to my body and my sexuality, and my expectations of my partner, but somewhere around 5-8 times a week, maybe.

Are you really trying to censor people on 4chan? You commies need to get your heads checked.

>>7933143
>Du är i fel tråd, gumman.
Are you blonde and tall? Who is gumman?

>>7933152
>Are you really trying to censor people on 4chan?
???

>>7933143
>what the fuck is up with all these triple extra six blade razors.

More blades means more smooth.

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Who else /bigbro/ here? Brother is only family member I'm stealth to, started T when he was 4.

>>7932953
I like and welcome cis guys, how else am I gonna get a bf? Rather have them than anyone else.

>>7933058
I-i'm permavirgin. I just like grinding on stuff, it's not like I do it on purpose.

>>7933143
The more blades the better it is, it'll be smoother and cut down better.

Wash your razor with cold water before shaving to make it sharper and wash it with warm water afterwards to disinfect it.

Shave in one direction only, pick a direction and stick to it. Though shaving in the opposite direction afterwards is fine.

Don't stay in one region of the face for too long, all you'll do is cut your face up. run the razor until you remove hair and then move on.

After shaving clean your face with warm water and gently dry it with a towel.

Generally speaking aftershave isn't absolutely necessary but you should still use it if you haven't cut yourself. If you have don't bother, it'll hurt like hell.

Oh, and make sure you've cut the moustache closest to the nose, that's where I always end up having few hairs left after I've done a sweep.

>>7933301
Oh and take long dragging cuts on the neck but shorter more restrained cuts on the chin and cheeks.

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>>7933160
I am smack dab middle of national average for girls, my eyebrows, arms, and legs are undeniably blond, head is a pale brown at best, but I tend to dye/bleach and I definitely look good blond. Bush is medium brown.

Gumman means old lad/young girl and is generally used interchangeably with "sweetheart", male equivalent is "gubben" but "gubbe" (non-specified) is also used interchangeably with "figure"/"character". If you speak yo a child you will generally prefix it with "little".

>>7933301
>>7933315
Cool, thanks. How do I avoid slicing off the testosterone induced breakouts around my mouth?

>>7933301
>warm water afterwards to disinfect it
Yeah because bacteria hates warm wet conditions.

>>7932987

what's going on? i've been where you're at before, i'll probably be there again... thinking about suicide i mean, it happens sometimes... i tried once, well... i count the one time, but when i think about it i tried more than that when i was a lot younger...

anyway, my point is sometimes just letting the feelings pass and sorting your head out stops them... so i'll listen to you, i can't necessarily help you but i can be here for you right now if it's what you want

and it's kinda late now idk where you are, but it is here... but in the morning you should make an appointment to see a therapist

>>7933058

well shit... i guess i'm at perma virgin level except i also have sex... i just have a really high sex drive that's near constant and i can't think or function without taking care of shit...

>>7933236

i have 2 brothers, one's 4 years younger the other is 7 years older... my younger brother called me his brother for years before i came out to him... and my older bro i just kinda said to him "you know i'm trans right?" while we were smoking (cigarettes he doesn't smoke weed) outside and he just said "yeah i figured, i don't care" and then we talked about movies and shit...

>>7933444
>my younger brother called me his brother for years before i came out to him...
How did he know?

>>7933495

idk... a lot of people in my life did... i've been asked "are you trans?" by friends and family before (first person i came out to was my s/o cuz he asked and i was high, surprised, and all i could think to say was the truth) and i got a lot of "oh i figured" or "i had a feeling" responses... fuck if i know, it's not like i dress really masculine (unisex clothes) and i have long hair etc ... so i can't tell

i've just never been able to hide being bi or being trans from people, idk what the fuck it is about me, but yeah...

>>7933521

+ even with me binding that's sorta... no one noticed, i don't have much there so it's mostly that it makes a difference for me mentally desu...

>>7933521
How? Please explain. Most people ask if I'm straight (straight girl) or at the very most see me as a lesbo.
I've done masculine things all my life, never contribute talk about women/feminism (think it's a meme), and look pretty andro.
The only ""feminine"" thing about me is that I'm very quiet, I know that's seen as a more feminine characteristic at least in America. Is that why they don't see me as trans/a boy?

>>7933301
How do I deal with razor burn? putting on facial lotion just makes it worse.

>>7933521
>first person i came out to was my s/o cuz he asked and i was high, surprised, and all i could think to say was the truth
How did he feel about it?

>>7933627
Different person here but I got razor burn from forgetting to wet the razor itself despite wetting my face and using shaving cream. Maybe you did the same thing?

>>7933521
Email

>>7933619

idk... like i said i don't know what it is about me that does it...

as far as shit i'm interested in goes it's shit like playing guitar/singing, writing, drugs, taking pictures of shit, gardening (i fucking love plants... and really fucking love flowers), and wandering around outside... nothing particularly masculine...

i can be quiet, it really depends on the people i'm around... so it's not that i don't think...

if i knew what it was i'd tell you, but i have no idea... and i can't figure it out either

>>7933638

he just told me he knew for a long time (we've known each other since we were 12) and that it was ok and i didn't have to hide it...

>>7933713

alright, i actually checked it earlier... but that was this morning i think

>>7932953
you need super male vitality. It will help you to develop the toxic masculinity needed to be a cis scum shitlord male.

https://www.infowarsstore.com/super-male-vitality.html

>>7933627
Aloe.

>>7933742
I used to use a beard growth nutrient thing along side a testosterone booster, gave me headaches and the feeling of about to vomit but not being able to.

cisbro reporting

how were your days

>>7933807
I pussed out on asking out my crush again

>>7933816
SENPAI
what goes through your head when you walk up/think about calling or texting
walk me through your thoughts when you have the opportunity

>>7933807

fairly boring and relatively painful ... too cold to do anything and my s/o's been at work + my spine and neck have been doing that thing where they feel fused, make me dizzy, and it feels like i've got a burning electrical storm going on all through my body (stops for a couple of seconds if i crack my back/neck) + headaches, my intestines hate me etc etc etc ... its been days of it being really bad at this point though, hoping it eases up or at least stays here and doesn't get worse...

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>>7933847
>walk into same room as him
>(oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck)
>sit down on the other side of the room as him
>(fuck me I want to hug him and play vidya with him, why am I not asking him to hang out some time)
>go home and whine about how much of a pussy I am and how shit I am at social contact on spanish deus vult entrepreneur image board

such is life

>>7933900
except with namefag
Im shitposting on 3 boards right now
sorry

>>7933900

just go say hi... worst case scenario is shit doesn't go well, but then you just end up where you're at right now anyway (without him) but at least you'll have made some kinda effort

failure is better than doing nothing sometimes, and the worst case scenario isn't guaranteed anyway

>>7933921
I don't really know where to go from hi, we're both kinda awkward fucks with long hair yknow

like "hey dude you wanna go listen to black metal and cuddle on a bed?"

"ey friendo wanna sit in a filthy poor persons house thats got cat shit everywhere and shitpost on 4chan?"

>>7933921
do you think smaking the fuck out of some old box tvs with a giant wooden hammer is a good idea of a date because I'd like a date like that.

>>7933966

honestly... idk, i don't ever really think about what i'm gonna say so i just kinda say shit past "hi" without any thought going into it then things just kinda happen or don't...

if he's awkward too then you shouldn't feel too awkward cuz at least you're both probably anxious and any potential embarrassment might just come with mutual understanding...

and i always just do whatever comes up or seems like a good idea at the time, but there's always the go for a walk somewhere option... outdoor shit is free and you don't have to worry about your house that way

>>7933974

i'd definitely enjoy that, especially if drugs or alcohol was involved... but that's the kinda thing i can't speak for other people on

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>tfw just found out I'm pregnant

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>>7934263

>>7934263
please say the 'father' is an mtf.

>>7934340
go away fiona

>>7934350
how can you tell?

>>7934263
protip, young nightshade plants will make your eyes look kawaii and remove face hugger eggs.

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tfw since i got into a relationship my dysphoria has lessened considerably
to the point im rethinking if i even want top surgery
and fearing changes (like body hair) of t that i used to want

>>7935257
a relationship with a guy?

>>7935264
yea

>>7935310
lol faggot

>>7935530
life is easier when you're not a tranny

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Hello lads, feeling particularly good about my body today. Still lacking the dick and I'd love being taller but the rest is fine.

I was wondering if there any other dudes here who hate body hair.
>inb4 fag
Exclusively into cis girl pussy, I just like being smooth.

does swg hang around here anymore?

>>7936162
>tumblr
quite literally a faggot

>>7936162
Damn. I'd polish your boots, it's not gay if it's only a kink for one party.

>>7935257

in my experience being in a relationship doesn't change anything... you might just feel better cuz the relationship is new and it's what you're focused on...

>>7936162

i hate body hair too, i shave everything... don't give a fuck, it makes me feel unclean

>>7936162
I don't like the upper chest hair that sticks out of your shirts neck hole, always thought it was gross but any other body hair is fine, especially hairy stomachs

>>7933084
Thought exactly the same haha

>>7934263
You should keep the baby. Abortion causes regret and depression. Plus you might have a deas fetus ghost haunting you.

>>7936399
dead*

>>7936399
It's not a baby, it's a cell cluster that might or might not become a fetus.

Depending on how he sees pregnancy and deals with dysphoria that cell cluster might get him to kill himself so he should remove it.

>>7936399

people regret and get depressed about having kids too... also this >>7936424

>>7936424
I would not mind being pregnant if I was still pre-T, but I've been on it for some time now so the most depressing part about it would be looking like a circus-freak and being embarrassed to be seen in public.

Plus I plan on getting an abortion because fuck having to be a parent at 19. I hate children.

>>7936471
>19
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YES, GET AN ABORTION

>>7936478
I WILL, DON'T WORRY

I'm so pissed at how the system in my country works ..

I was suppose to get top surgery before summertime, around may/June. But now it's delayed untill Christmas ;____; kms

>>7936501
Sounds like you're getting a christmas present

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>>7936501
I'm pissed that the system in my country made me wait 4 whole fucking years to get on T.
I'm pissed that my step father spent my name change money on lottery tickets
I'm pissed that I'll never be normal

>>7936780
You need to pay to change your name?!

>>7936806
yeah, only 200$, but apparently it's too hard for anyone here to get and hold on to 200$ for longer than 5 minutes

>>7936471
>getting pregnant while on t
Y-you can do that? Could you even carry through if you stayed on T?

Damn anon, you'll give me nightmares.

>>7936806
Different anon but here name change costs money if you've done it before, first time being free.

>>7933365
>Vaken klockan 01.19 natten mot Fredag.
Never going to make it.

>>7936902
Livet i resturangbranschen, min vän.

>>7936878
Not easily but you can. Just like some people on birth control get pregnant.

Never go raw until your uterus is gone unless you want to potentially end up with a baby.

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>>7934263
delet theees

>>7936914
Even if I haven't had a period for months?! Fuck, man.

>>7936162
I don't hate it, but I'm more comfortable without it.
If anyone asks, just say it's a habit you devolved from swimming back in high school or something

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What are you lads doing this weekend?

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>>7933807
I've been binge listening this shit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5LvhKbsHWU . Found out about cheap chink legos on aliexpress and I got myself a WW2 German Blitzkrieg full set for less than 100 euros, I'm excited

>>7932953
Hey pals. Does anyone have the XX Men Wolverine picture that used to be the header all the time quickly handy?

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>>7937472
playing the guitar until my fingers loose all feeling, going to group therapy for the first time in months, and zoning out to music

>>7937472
>no safety harness
*vertigo intensifies*

>>7937491
I have never heard this band (musician?) before, but this is rad. Thank you for the introduction.

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>>7937625
Challenge your fears

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>>7937472
I cut my own hair and didn't fuck up for the first time. Go me.

>>7937662
Ah it's two kikes making good trance music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ6QxEfcs3c this is one of their best albums, I recommend looking through all of their shit cause it's worth it

>>7937472
Going to the gym and fapping all day.

>>7933058
I used to hardly ever, would just occasionally grind in bed quickly if my hornyness got the better of me. But now I've gotten a handy rubber dick that has suddenly unleashed the beast in me and I fap daily (I don't insert it in me, I pretend it's my dick and place it over my clit and jerk it, basically) It's kind of pathetic and liberating at the same time...

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I went ice skating today and all these damn kids were showing me up. Bet those anime faggots don't have to deal with this shit.

Carmelita
Hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down

>>7937472

drinking and smoking weed with my s/o and our friend... playing guitar... hoping the twitching and shit doesn't get worse... usual shit

>>7937691

that's cool... i need a haircut, it's getting long to a point where i don't care for dealing with it

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>came to ask how I can get rid of my suicidal thoughts
>one of the first replies in the thread is about a guy with suicidal thoughts
Heh, funny

I can only feel my depression and need to die rising everyday I don't transition, I just feel constantly awful and wrong, and as if I did come out I would lose everyone around me. I have a very open-minded family and friends so I doubt they will, but still, things just would never be the same.

>>7939115

things not being the same doesn't mean they'll be bad... they aren't good for you now, you're thinking about suicide, so why not see what different feels like? it's better to give shit a try then do something so permanent before you even give yourself a chance to live...

>>7937472
Working on my resume and portfolio for the job hunt.

> some of my work noted publicly and/or in the press
> write-ups and releases burdened with my birth name

Fuck. I don't know whether to blow my chances at total stealth, or omit and miss out on referencing notable accomplishments of mine.

>>7939115
Do you want to talk? I actually am the guy who posted about suicide in the beginning of this thread. Same situation.

>>7937472
working and preparing to go talk to politicians in my garbage state again. at least the dude who represents my district is a non-shitbag.

also maybe try to make cookies again, I'm weirdly obsessed with getting this goddamn recipe down.

>>7939318

what's kinda cookies?

looks like i might go to a bar... probably shouldn't but eh...

>>7939212
I dunno, I guess I started thinking about it a couple of days ago. One of my boyfriend's friends killed himself, and he's been telling me how he never would have thought his friend would do something like that, but that he had been planning it for months without anyone noticing.
It got me thinking, what if I too were to spontaneously dissapear, just like that? I don't want anyone to suffer, but it just sounds so nice to cease to feel anything. I think the things that are preventing me from doing it are mostly my cats (I don't trust anyone to treat them well other than myself, and one is a rescue of which I'm its only source of trust and safeness, I don't want her to have a bad time), and my bf (he repeatedly said he was very angry at his friend for just killing himself, I guess that's his way of dealing with grief, but I dislike the thought of him thinking badly of me like that).
I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this, I don't want them to think of me as some weirdo they need to keep knives away from or some bullshit. I also always blame myself for feeling like this and don't want to accept it. I think it's kind of funny how I'm more willing to accept that I'm suicidal than being trans
Sorry if something doesn't make sense, english isn't my first language

>>7939115
I was ready to cut all ties and stayed depressed for years because I was scared of the same thing.
I was fortunate and most of that was my brain psyching me out. I still have a bad tendency to elaborately drag myself through the worst possible outcome of every situation, or talk myself through imagined conversations that are far nastier than the actual person could ever get. Brains are shitty and survival instincts want you to be prepared, but they can end up just making you too anxious to deal. There's a possibility that it's the same in your situation.

Transition's been good to me. It didn't magically fix everything, but it's better and it's easier to kind of.. keep moving forward.

So basically what Brooklyn said. It'll change things, but it doesn't have to change for the worst, and it's more survivable than you're thinking. It won't be the end of the world or all good things. It might even be a good change.

>>7939340
They're a brownie-like chocolate cookie, so I tried to make minty and spicy variants. Did the first one straight like the recipe, second batch I split in half and tarted up accordingly. Then I drizzled chocolate on them. They came out alright, but thinner was definitely the wrong way to go. Think they might need more butter too.
Next time I think I might make the spicy ones kinda like weird chocolate snickerdoodles.

>>7939372

sounds good, i'm not really a fan of chocolate though... but if you add a little coffee you can make chocolate flavour more prominent, not a lot though, especially not with cookies but some espresso makes a big difference without making the cookies taste like coffee

i can't remember what snickerdoodles are desu... those are cinnamon + sugar right?

gonna go get more high before i go get more drunk... the bar thing is definitrly happening, i hate being anxious about going to a bar, but i've been twitching today and my hands are all shaky and shit... my right leg didn't wanna work properly from the knee down while i was in a barber shop with my s/o and our friend earlier

>>7939449
Shit, that's a good call. Thanks! I'll see how coffee works. And yeah, just with like- cinnamon and sugar and a little cayenne instead, cause i dunno man, I fucking love spicy chocolate.

Hey, just be careful with yourself as you can man. You have a good night.

Why are mtfs so catty and triggered? Aren't we supposed to be the females?

>>7939461

np, i can't give you measurements i just guess with shit like that... cuz only certain shit needs to be exact

eh i'm not very careful with myself... i've done plenty of stupid shit, took a couple bags of heroin i found on the street before, almost poisoned myself with mountain laurel smoke making a fire before... i was chilling with a friend once and i scared the shit out of her when we were crossing the street, i do that to people often... i'm careful enough though, i try to balance out the stupid shit

>>7932953
>cis

fingered my boyfriend for the first time
he enjoyed it
wheres my medal?

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>>7939594
>>7940297

>>7939372
snickerdoodles are not snickers

>>7939115
"twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Mark Twain

>>7935257
>>7935310
autoandrophilia and androphilia are in competition -- it's harder to be in love with your idealized self alone when you can project that idealized self onto someone else
the mtf equivalent has been well studied, to the extreme of 'long-term post-transition woman detransitions after falling in love with another woman'
it is not odd at all that you experience little to no dysphoria when with a cis man, given that

>>7941007
What if your dysphoria gets worse in relationships?

>>7941031
being in an extremely gendered environment, which relationships often are, can also make dysphoria more severe

What the hell am I supposed to do on a rest day? Since I changed gyms the trainers literally throw me out when I overstay. Tried to do my workout three days in a row and the man in charge told me, "nope, you're only doing one hour of cardio today".

"Just rest and eat". I cannot just rest and eat all day, lads.

>>7941110
run outside

>>7941110

wtf, find a gym that's not run by nazis, the fuck are you paying these people for?

>>7941110
There are some parks that have basic training equipment, look around and see if you can find one
How do you get motivation to exercise? I need to start doing exercise but I just can't start

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>>7937575
I don't seem to have it on my phone, but here, have a blast from the past

>>7941114
I'll probably do that or run an hour on the treadmill. I destroyed my weights so I can't do those, I'll throw some pushups/ab work in.

>>7941176
The enviroment is good but their unofficial policy is two days of "normal workout" and one day of cardio.

Yesterday one of the younger trainers told me "hey I'm happy if you can use the heavier stuff but if *I* can't do this pushdown at this weight, bring it down." He walked away and I put it back where it was. What the fuck man.

>>7941262
No parks around where I live, I should drive.
Motivation is narcissism and BDD, a winning combo apparently.

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Shaving tips for a guy with sensitive skin

>>7941110
Yoga/stretching and/or light bodyweight exercises?

When I used to work out, I had to do something everyday, because I'm a neurotic mess who needs consistent rituals to stay committed. Stretching feels nice, needs minimal space/equipment, and keeps your body in good shape for the more taxing work.

>>7941288
> two days of "normal workout" and one day of cardio.
I was going to suggest that maybe you are over training, but this sounds absolutely ridiculous.

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If you could go ten years back in time what advice would you give yourself? I would tell me that it doesn't matter what awesome stuff you do as long as it's only a distraction to avoid more important stuff. Do important stuff first or it will come back to bite you.

>>7942175
Actually do your fucking homework so you don't end up a failure

>>7942175
i would have bought a house when interest rates were low and prices were relatively cheap

>>7942175

"just kill yourself now, shit only gets worse"

>>7942226
:(

>>7942209
Ur not a failure yet tho

>>7942211
You mean back in 08-09?

>>7942175
>ten years
>eight, turning nine
>onset of super severe gender dysphoria
"i'm not sure if you've realized this but you're a boy and you should tell your parents that"

>>7942226
The suicide meme needs to stop

>>7942242

eh, it's just the truth... nothing sad about it

>>7942281

just being real... not like i advocate suicide for other people (though i see nothing wrong with it) when they actually have potential and shit...

>>7942284
Are you saying none of the experiences you've had the last ten years have made living through them worth it?

>>7942310

i've had good experiences sure, ones i consider valuable cuz i've lived through them... but overall i don't think suicide 10 years ago would've been a bad choice, and it would've been preferable... just how it is

can't off myself now cuz i'm only in deeper with my s/o and feel more obligated to stick around etc

>>7942324

+ the reality is my situation isn't better than it was 10 years ago (it's worse)

i wasn't sick every day, i've been through plenty of fucked up shit since then (and i already came from fucked up shit so yeah...), and i don't exactly have some bright future to look forward to... and i didn't 10 years ago either cuz well... my current state... so yeah... i think that would've been solid advice

>>7942271
>strange man walks up to anon
>"kid, let's talk about gender and having wrong naughty bits"
>parents get him arrested
>anon ate another booger for breakfast

>>7942175
Stay with the girl who said it wouldn't matter if
I were a girl or a boy, and stop being a whore.

>>7942546
You need to tell the story.

>>7942634
It's not much of a story. She was a year older than me, told her I wasn't sure of what I was, she said it didn't matter at all to her. Shame because she was beautiful too.

I was a very Skins-like early teen at the time.

>>7942653
How did you split up?

>>7942310

+ i suppose that's the thing, there's plenty of experiences i've had that i've had cuz of where i'm at now that i value... which is why i wouldn't tell myself to change those things, or give myself advice that removed them...

i value them cuz i've had them, so i wouldn't say anything to deny myself them if i thought getting here seemed like a good idea

anyway i wouldn't listen anyway so i suppose it wouldn't matter what i told myself... i'd just think "well that was weird i must be too drunk" and ignore it

>>7942662

but i'm being a miserable bastard anyway, i'm just in a lot of fucking pain today... and i know only one thing is gonna actually stop it

>>7942661
We weren't really together 'together', I've never actually dated anyone. We fucked and talked and one day we weren't fucking and talking anymore, that's it.

Cue drinking, whoring around and drugs. Total cliché of wasted youth.

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>>7942175
Just because you're not textbook doesn't mean you can't be at all.
There is help to get, if you don't ask you won't get told about the options.
Don't be afraid to be questioning, don't be afraid to ask for help, be genuine and never assume you know everything there is to know.
You won't always be the underdog, keep an eye out for when the tide turns and be attentive to how you deal with it.
Go sailing when you get the chance.

>>7942673
So you're going to kill yourself to stop pain? Or is it depression too? I plan to do it to stop fear. I have really bad anxiety but like you I've already fucked up once. Next time I'm going to make sure it's foolproof though.

>>7942695
You like sailing? What kind of sailing have you done?

>>7942696

i was planning on just sitting in bed and playing guitar on/off until my s/o gets in here cuz really i wanna just lay down, but moving hurts so bad right now that i can't even get myself into any other position right now...

i'll deal with it...

eventually though i'll have a cracking point i'm sure...

it's a lot of things really, but i can't do it so yeah... it just crosses my mind often

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>>7942711
My parents met at sea, and my father was really into sailing for a while. I live in a suburb to Stockholm, Sweden, so we have a really nice archipelago and went sailing quite a bit when me and my brother were kids. Even grew up with the sea visible from our kitchen window...
Anyway, we got more interested in more speedy boats when we got older and had a motor boat for a while, which was also great in a lot of ways, but I don't think I learned as much about seafaring as I would've if we'd gone by sail.
The other year a friend of mine invited me out on their family boat, and that was amazing.

I did have a few chances to get involved with seafaring scouts, but never did. I've mostly been on trips over a few days, exclusively in Stockholm, with up to ten or so people at most.

I still have plenty of time to learn more and find people to go with, obviously, but it's a hobby that's kinda hard to get into. Right now I'm happy if I get the chance to even get out in a motor boat this summer.

>>7942750
Not envying you, brother. You have my feels.

>>7933807
Enjoying the day off. Working at a car factory makes me feel more virile than previous shitty customer service job.

Trying to find a suit to wear at my best friend's wedding, but easier said than done. American menswear stores don't carry 32 jackets any more than they do shoes in size 5. So I'm gonna have to either break the bank or buy a shitty polyester little boy suit. Feels bad man.

>>7942776
Don't know if it's your thing but have you tried to apply to tall ships race? They have loads of boats and tons of free spots on the boats for young people wanting to get into sailing. I know a few backpackers who traveled loads like that plus the old boats are amazing to be on.

>>7942798
Find a suit that's close enough and get a tailor to make it smaller

Learning to alter your own clothes is a valuable skill for small guys, "girly" hobby or not

>>7942175
You're going to cut your parents and most of your family off eventually anyways, so leave home and get on T right now while you're still growing. Stop pussyfooting around. Get a shitty job if you have to. Live in your car. Don't get in any relationships until you've transitioned. Don't become the FTM version of a hon.

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>>7942820
I had no idea that this existed! That's really cool, thanks, anon! I'll definitely apply for next year.

>>7942868
Np. Good luck, dude.

Fucking hell, my father's constantly asking me what happened to my voice.

>>7942787

didn't even get to the bar last night, our ride had a last minute panic attack so we all just stayed home i drank...

i hurt my fucking back again (it didn't heal from like a week or 2 ago), not even doing anything i was washing my hair... and it's worse than it was the first time i did it

i'm lucky my s/o is home and we have weed at least...

>>7943389

+ i'm pretty sure someone would have to be insane to envy me...

>>7943254

well no shit man, you can't hide that your voice is changing and people are gonna wonder what's going on...

>>7943254
tell him you took up smoking 5 packs of cigs a day

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I accidently just ripped out one of my chin hairs
time to neck myself

>>7943855
it'll come back later

all in good time

>>7943397
>>7943639
How was I supposed to know that 5 weeks on T would've affected my voice that much though.

>>7943855
Mate, I shave every day because I hate hair. Chin hair grows extra fast.

>>7943897

quicker than you expected or not you had to be expecting it on some level...

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>tfw too intelligent to not have social anxiety

>>7944179
>tfw too intelligent to engage in human conversation
>tfw too intelligent to have a face

>>7944179
>>7944188
>tfw too intelligent to be a girl

>>7944199
>tfw too intelligent to be a physical being

>>7944206
>tfw too intelligent to be intelligent

>>7944206
>tfw too intelligent to be a namefag

>>7944199
>tfw too omega to be a male

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>>7944217

>>7944220
Back to /mtfg/ with you

>>7944222
>>7944188
>>7943855

my inner /b/tard is proud of myself

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>>7944237
We've been all /b/tards at some point.
>mfw posted "tits" when I was underage and no one thought I was female

>>7944257
>tfw I was /r9k/ at first
Dark times.

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>>7944257
>mfw when I started out, I prank called game stores asking for battletoads with my brother
>mfw I don't get the same sense of community I used to when my brother first stumbled upon this website in 2009/10
>mfw 4chan is what helped me cope with being so alone and depressed
>mfw I never left this website for more than 3 months before running back

>>7944335
>in 2009/10
How old are you?!

>>7944431
... how old are you?

>>7944296
Same, anon. /b/ was too chaotic for me.

>>7944431
>How old are you?!
Im 20ish
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VOfgHQz3dI

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>be me
>22, never used the dysphoria hole even to masturbate
>watching porn at 2:45am
>bitch acting like it's the second coming of jesus when he puts the dick in her pussy
>wow that must feel amazing ig
>can't hold back the curiosity any longer, tries putting in 2 fingers
>feels like i just put a knife in my body
>feels like all the pain in my life was just building up to this moment
>immediately stop
>his boner and optimism: gone
>mfw the first time I put fingers in my ass I barely felt anything aside odd discomfort and the feeling I was shoving something into my anus

What went wrong guys? I thought that hole was meant for this kind of thing? It felt like I was being stabbed and that was just 2 fingers, how do women take massive cocks so easily?

>>7945111
Dude. You need to warm up. Move slowly.

Also, with that dramatic a description, you could have that medical condition that I don't remember the name of that makes vaginal penetration impossible for pretty much anyone.

>>7945123
I DID warm up, I was masturbating at the time, and I was pretty, er, wet down there, I started with 1 finger and it was pretty painful, but bearable, so I stepped up to 2 and felt like death was upon me.

>>7945111
female virginity hurts. that's your hymen, dude.

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>>7945123
Vaginismus

>>7945154
I think it's probably this desu. It seems to be primarily mental, which makes sense because using a max absorption tampons out of paranoia has never bothered past the first time, whereas the idea of PIV sex has always caused me to get depressed or anxious.

>>7941288

Why the fuck are you paying a bunch of idiots to tell you what you can and can't do? Patronise a real gym.

>>7942175
>If you could go ten years back in time what advice would you give yourself?

"It's called gender dysphoria, google it and go to the doctor."

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>at party
>guy friend puts his arm around me
>calls me his gf as a joke
>kisses me on the cheek
>panic
>freeze up
>no one says anything

not being able to pass and being mentally incapable is hard

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>>7945373
Money issues. I had to come back to my parents (I can't stand both but from here I can at least look around for work without being homeless) because job security in my country is non existent and that's pretty fucking shitty in itself because I've recently started T (diy) and they're noticing.

Also, I feel like I wasn't clear in my other posts.
My routine is workout+45min cardio (~2 1/2 hrs total)/workout+45min cardio/1hr cardio/workout+45min cardio/workout+45min cardio/1hr cardio/1hr cardio. I don't really have a rest day, but on Wed/Fri/Sun I only do cardio and throw in some abs and pushups for good measure.

>>7947059
>Money issues
>paying for gym
This is how poor people stay poor. Why not make a makeshift gym at home or do calisthenics?

>>7947176

This. Don't throw your money away on bullshit. If it's not a stellar gym, you're better off without it. You don't pay good money for a birthday cake with a cockroach in it.

>>7947176
>>7947197
All in all it's a good environment and I like structure, I just get frustrated at times because I'm a control freak. Supposedly I'll be able to change my routine next week.

First thing I'm gonna do once I get back on track will be buying some equipment, I destroyed my weights over time.

>>7944431
Oh you sweet summer child. I've been active here on and off since Gurren Lagann was current, though before that I would beeline exclusively for /h/. You know, back when Yotsuba was relevant and this really was a board for fans of Taiwanese stopmotion animation.

>>7944431
>mfw I've been here since 2005
h-he's a fucking underaged b&, that's what...
oh god...

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How autistic is it to start farming crickets and mealworms for food? I want antibiotic free protein noms. Also, Cricket grilled in chili and lime is tasty af.

For random reasons I need about 1 lbs of insect eggs anyway. Is it possible to make beetle egg caviar? Could I sell it to hipsters for mad cash?

>>7947241
Used weights can go as low as 1 months worth of membership in a gym. Also, ask your parents if any of their peers had a midlife crisis and bought weights. You might get them cheap that way. I used water cans and cement bags when I first started out with home gym. All you need is heavy stuff to pick up and put back down.

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>>7947342
Remember: you're here forever.

>>7947358
We're here until Hiromoot sucks it dry and kills it.

>>7947342

why are you announcing his shit? besides i just assume that's true about a fair percentage of the people here...

>>7947355

i don't think it's autistic to do, makes sense if you eat them + if you want to be more self sufficient... you dumpster dive for food and it's just one more step in that direction

i'd only eat a cricket if i had no other options, but idk... i've heard they were good, these mexican kids my s/o knew when he worked at an arcade used to eat deep fried ones covered in chili and whatnot

what reasons?

try to have a separate area for that shit btw, my older brother breeds them on/off for his reptiles and has for years and they fucking get out constantly... it sucks to actually live with that

but if you can build something for it outdoors or don't give a shit may as well...

+ probably and probably

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>>7947370
If Hiromoot kills 4chan, it will only rise again, as a phoenix from the ashes.

We are immortal. We are LEEJUN.

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>>7944431
>>7944450
>>7944335
Damn man, I remember this website being the place I would go to be with others, while being completely alone in high school.

I've been on here since 2006, senior year of high school. Didn't even realize mtf was a thing until then. Then everyone helped me come out to myself a decade later.

All on the same site. This place was my whole youth

>>7941685
Try an electric shaver. That helped for me.
Also I love Johnny Wander.

>>7945196
Different anon but I had issues with anything going in there, even tampons. Hurt like hell and everyone was telling me I was using them wrong but I knew I wasn't. I even went as far as using a shitton of lube to try to get them in there and it was still painful for a very long time.

>>7943897
>Mate, I shave every day because I hate hair.
umm
genuinely curious
are you taking testosterone? if so, why?

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>>7947377
Good to hear. Most people think dumpster diving is autistic too though.
Mexico knows what's up. Too bad entomophagy hasn't caught on outside key areas. i know Oaxaca still keeps the tradition. Tlayudas with fried crickets baby.

I need the eggs for the deposit stuff around them, the floof cotton stuff. I've come across some old tattoo ink recipes and it's one of the ingredients. Not sure if I want to use it on myself but it would be cool to try to make the authentic ink to see how it works.

>they fucking get out constantly
Nasty. I've heard mealworms are easier than crickets though. They're just fat worms wriggling around. Also, they don't sing.

How's the pain stuff today?

>>7947386
To be fair, back then trans shit was buried in the darkest corners of the Internet. Trapshit wasn't even a thing in 2006, aside from seeing the occasional guys on forums who would RP exclusively as girls (and not even in a fetishistic way.) I wonder how many of those went on to transition?

Back then everyone assumed that you were male online unless you stated otherwise and posted a picture of yourself. Or typed like a moron and used a lot of emoticons. There wasn't anything like voicechat that would get an FtM clocked until around 2009ish. There were maybe two Tripod personal websites made by FtMs documenting their transition, and five million MtF or female crossdresser sites. The Tumblrite stereotype wasn't a thing yet.

It was the perfect time to experience a mostly normal nerdy male adolescence. 20-something Gen Xers on IRC, 4chan, Newgrounds and various online forums pretty much raised me. I passed IRL even without hormones or top surgery until I turned about 19 and my voice and face couldn't keep up with my age.

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>>7947377
>why are you announcing his shit? besides i just assume that's true about a fair percentage of the people here...
Brooklyn, please stop replying to jokes.

>>7932953
cis white male reporting in :3

>>7947436
>:3

>>7945111
>>7945196
>>7947404

Try getting a little drunk first, worked for me. But desu, it only went from being painful to just being weird and gross.

>>7947451
Getting drunk didn't help me with the pain, unfortunately.

>>7947436
post tits

>>7947412

true, i guess i just see it like you're not supporting a shit system in order to eat...

i don't eat meat anyway, seeing that much of something's body would've always been out anyway i've never even eaten wings, can't stomach it...

you should try the ink out on yourself if you go through the trouble of making it... i would

my brother has bred those too, they've escaped + beetles... pretty much no matter what you do if you do that kinda thing you'll deal with that in your house unless you have an outdoor space for it...

well my back is better today, hurts like a bitch and i have limited mobility still but i'll live

>>7947430

stop expecting so much from someone who's been high since 7am

>>7947411
>are you taking testosterone?
Yes.
>if so, why?
Why am I taking T or why do I shave? The answer to the first question should be obvious.

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>>7947474
I'm glad someone agrees to that.

How about cricket flour? If you ate meat would you have problems with it? From what I understand it behaves a lot like legume flour when you cook with it.

Fair enough. Shamanbro has spoken. Gonna make something small though, see if it holds up in quality. Hopefully it won't get toxic.

>no matter what you do if you do that kinda thing you'll deal with that in your house
Ok not cool. Time to make a shed I guess.

Good to know you're better, even if it's still shit.

>>7947515

yeah, i don't agree with a lot of the way the system works anywhere, so i figure people doing what they can to take support away from it is a good thing...

nah i'd think about all the parts that were in it, out of sight isn't out of mind for me... that's why i don't eat meat at all, even broth and shit...

you'll probably be fine, but yeah something small would be best... just cuz you don't know how it'll turn out, you should post pics after if you get around to it... i'm curious about how that'll turn out

yeah definitely shed time... could build something more like a greenhouse and use it for them + plants...

first day is the worst with injuries usually, i'm thinking all the stiffness is what made it so easy to hurt myself again... what sucks is the twitching can cause bursts of pain, and moving slightly wrong does too... but at least it should only improve from here unless i fuck my shit up again

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>>7947436
Post dick

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>>7947539
Have you ever considered becoming self sufficient? I mean, you love plants so you could probably pull it off better than a normie. My plan is to do as much as I can myself, even if I can't become 100% independent from society. It really irks me that I can't manufacture my own T. Need to find a solution for that. If organic T can't do the work, maybe the synthetic production can be replicated in a makeshift lab. I need to into chemistry, damn it.

Fair enough. Are you still vegan or do you eat eggs now? Do you eat dairy?

Pics will do. I have to get the rest of the ingredients though, but that shouldn't be too hard.

A greenhouse would mean my neighbor could see it. Not sure how that will work out.

Have you tried bee/wasp stings to treat pain? I've heard it can be good for lyme damage, but haven't read a lot about it.

>>7947436
tell me your purpose in life and future goals.
where do you see yourself in five years?
are you doing what you enjoy?

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>>7947395

>>7947603

that'd be a nice endgame, but i'm not in a position where that's feasible currently... but yeah i'd rather do that kinda shit on my own

i was both really good and really bad at chemistry when i took it... depended in the parts i was up to... didn't go much either, found it interesting, but the classes were boring

i've never been good with school shit

total independence would be hard, but yeah... i'd prefer to not be very dependent on a much larger system to a huge extent

i wasn't vegan for a bit cuz i stopped getting reactions, but on st patrick's day i started getting jaw pain from alcohol and when that started happening again last time the food allergies started back up not long after... so now i'm mentally associating those with all the foods i've had bad reactions to during flares, and i can't bring myself to eat them cuz then i just think while i do it and that's why i can't eat meat either so yeah... i can cook and touch it all no problem, but eating it is making me think too much...

even if nothing happens it's always on my mind now... and no amount of bad reactions will stop me from at least occasional drinking... i'll probably just drink less

still have alcohol that i haven't touched and i would've yesterday otherwise... i thought about drinking yesterday but i didn't wanna deal with extra pain and i had weed so i didn't... if i just had alcohol i probably would've dealt with it though, just to be drunk...

what else goes in the ink?

can't you just put something that blocks it from their view?

i imagine having more natural conditions would be better for the bugs too

nah i haven't tried that... never heard of it either, but i've been stung by a wasp before... flew up my sleeve, that shit sucked i can't even imagine purposely seeking that

i've got auto immune shit going on at this point cuz of that shit... if i'm lucky it'll go into a remission stage at some point if i'm not then it's just gonna be an every day thing

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>>7947711
Dude, have you ever gotten treatment for the OCD stuff? I can see why the associations are bad, but it's probably not good to escalate avoidance behavior. I mean, unless you get physical symptoms again. Just because you reacted to alcohol doesn't mean you are guaranteed to react to the food right? And dude, priorities when you keep drinking but start cutting out foods? Come on now.

Fuck I'm not one to judge. You do your thing.

The ink. It needs Egyptian spruce wood (going to use normal spruce though), bronze dissolved in vinegar, the insect egg stuff, and black vitriol (iron sulfate and sulfuric acid). Trying to work out how it's supposed to work together. I guess the spruce needs to be made into charcoal and then ground into powder. Maybe the insect egg stuff is supposed to be an emulsifier? Idk. Trial and error is needed. If everything goes wrong I'll just simplify it. All the recipes I found calls for coal/carbon/soot so that is the backbone. Then I'll just work in the rest.

It might be possible to put it up in the woods behind the house. Not a lot of light for the plants though. Need to find some plantbros that can thrive in that environment. Blueberries maybe. You're right that it would be better for the bugs. I want some happy ass bugs.

Here's hoping for your remission. Lyme research goes fast, so maybe they find a good solution in a few years.

>>7947893

i had a therapist bring it up, didn't go back for unrelated reasons... being vegan isn't a big deal though, i'd rather do that then bother going through the process of treatment... avoiding thinking and anxiety while i eat is worthwhile, and my priorities are fine... i drink through pain cuz it only lasts about 20 mins to an hour and at least i'm drunk longer than that even when it's really horrible... the foods that are making me think don't get me drunk so what are they doing for me? why bother?

i'd probably overload on benadryl if i was out of weed before i drank though at this point... unless i really felt like having a drink

it's cool though, i get why you'd say that... i'm gonna do this anyway cuz that's the way i am, but those are valid points and i don't think you're wrong either...

yeah it probably is supposed to be turned into charcoal... tattoo ink should be on the thin side, if that helps... it should be more watery than thick but not overly so...

hostas are good shade plants, so are a lot of herbs... lemon balm can thrive in partial shade and it's good for shit like anxiety, minor pain relief, mosquito bites etc... works well in tea... a lot of herbs can do well in shade actually... decorative shit like bleeding hearts and oxtails can too... and so can morning glory (though it does well full sun too) and those have lsa in the seeds if you're into that i've never tried it personally

blueberries do better with more sun but you could probably manage it, same with gourds and such... could probably do mushrooms since that kinda shit likes wet logs and whatnot and so do bugs

it's not lyme anymore at this point, lyme just triggered all of it... now it's gone and i have other shit in its place... i've accepted the worst case scenario already, but i'm hoping it goes better than that too

>>7948018

+ you can eat hostas btw, and ferns are another option... young ferns (fiddleheads) can be eaten, purslane prefers full sun but can be grown in partial shade and is edible too... it's a succulent so it does well in dry soil too

>>7948087

+ hostas thrive in partial shade, so do ferns and ferns spread themselves easily so you don't have to bother replanting them as long as you let some fully mature... though hostas are perennials rather than annuals so they're easier in that sense

>>7948018

oxalis* my bad i'm high... purple oxalis (purple leaves + purple flowers) works well in shade... a lot of plants that aren't green would

Why does it hurt to bad to be misgendered then corrected, than just misgendered?
One of my friends yesterday said "this chic- uh this kid" and it kinda stuck on my mind all day.
Does it mean that I'm so unpassable that people have to correct themselves in order to "not hurt my feelings"? This is on par with just plain old misgendering.
Someone slap me out of it, is it bad as I'm making it out to be?

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>>7948018
>why bother
because letting a behavior pattern escalate will reinforce it. The main treatment for OCD is still exposure so the absolute rules get challenged. But you probably know this so I'm gonna leave it. Why didn't you go back to the therapist? Life stuff?

Thin ink. Got it. Makes sense when you say it.

Herbs are cool. Thanks for the advice. My mom used to grow lemon balm when I was a kid, and we got leaves as treats when we didn't behave like shitheads. Love that stuff. I've never tried morning glory but I want to. From what I get the commercial seeds are coated with some stuff to make people nauseous to prevent it being used as a drug. Is it possible to bring seeds from plants you grow? I hope they don't sell GMO seeds with dead end mutations so they don't give seeds or something. It wouldn't surprise me. Can you just eat the plant or does it have to be seed?

Mushrooms are awesome too. I want to get into that. From what I get they are notoriously fickle though.

Yeah, the infection is gone, but the after effects are all connected. I mentioned it because a lot of research is targeting that right now, so maybe they find a good solution, maybe not.

>>7948087
I've read that fiddleheads are mildly toxic, even if it's used as a food plant. Did you know that ferns were used as a way to keep fruit and vegetables when stored. Apparently they give off some chemical that helps prevent mold from developing. I find it kinda cool.

>>7948219
Nah it's pretty bad

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>>7948219
It's like being deadly allergic to peanuts, then your best friend throws peanuts in your face and then throws almonds in your face

>>7948232

i know that yeah, and i've tried to just deal with discomfort and whatnot with handwashing and shit, hasn't worked out... and i'm not entirely comfortable with getting into all of it with someone... i figure it could be way worse so i can live with it at least... and yeah life stuff... a lot ended up happening, but anyway i figure some of the rituals aren't harmful... like who gives a shit if i set 3 alarms for the morning even though i always wake up before them? it's whatever really, they help me sleep and disturb no one... besides i know it's behaviour therapy it's forcing myself to adjust the behaviour and i honestly just got enough shit going on to push myself through that too

yeah it's how it fits between the layers of skin, too thin though and it won't work well + you wanna keep whatever you use straight up and down angles will cause blow out with the ink

morning glory gets berries and seeds pretty easy, and depending on where you are you might be able to get cuttings from outside... it's all over the place here but i've bought seeds and gotten berries from them easy enough, a deer ate them though... i imagine it was walking around tripping balls

it's the seeds that contain it the flowers don't

i think lemon verbena has a better taste than lemon balm, but they're both decent... valerian is pleasant to mix with alcohol... or xanax... or any opiate

i've never tried mushrooms personally, but i imagine in a set up like that they might thrive

i meant like... i gotta bank on treatment for the other shit, and i still have to do those fucking tests to make sure i don't have ms... i've been putting it off

pretty sure it's ostrich ferns... mildly toxic could just mean you can't eat a lot of them but they're fine in small doses like certain kinds of lilies

>>7948330
are they activated

>>7948335
as activated as almonds can get, so are the peanuts.

>>7948334

+ daylilies... i wasn't 100% on the name, i can recognize them when i see them, the buds are good to cook with

>>7948345

+ also didn't know that about ferns, thanks for that... they're all over here

>>7947355
I breed crickets and dubia roaches for my pets, and let me tell you, it's pretty fucking easy and innexpensive, I'd say go for it.
Remember to gutload them; you get all your nutrition from whatever they eat so you want to make sure they eat at least 30 minutes before you eat them

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>>7948334
Sorry to hear that. But yeah, I agree, as long as it isn't too harmful to your life and all, rituals aren't bad in itself. It's when they damage life quality that it needs treatment.

Really. When I got tattooed the artist used an angle on the needle when working. She did traditional tapping stuff, and it was mostly practical in relation to her wrists I think. Does it really make a big difference? The result from her work was quality.

Noted. Damn, I should go collect berries when season comes then. Morning glories are everywhere in gardens around here.

Valerian root. How do you get your hands on those? From what I get they are so difficult to differentiate from their toxic cousins that they're very dangerous to harvest wild.

MS. Are you covered by insurance? How do you guys deal with medical expenses?

Idk, I'm nervous about eating stuff that has toxic components. It's not like oxalic acid that can be compensated for. If it's actually toxic then it will do damage, even in small amounts.

>>7948451
Awesome. You got any tips for someone starting out? What do you feed them? And what pets do you have?

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>>7948605
Starting out can be a little confusing and unnerving, but you'll eventually get used to the whole process. Also, I know you'rr mostly interested in mealworms and crickets, but I'll also go into detail with roaches because they are such good, nutritional feeders, much more so than crickets.
For the dubias, you'll want a big plastic tub (dubias can't climb plastic, so they won't get out), you'll want to cut the plastic lid and put mosquito screen so they have some air; they do fine at room temperature so no additional heating is required, though you will need to slightly mist it with a water sprayer. Get at least 4 big egg cartons to put vertically in the tub, roaches like hiding in these and lay their eggs there. Also add a tupperware in for the food. Make sure you get a ratio of 1 male:3 females (males have wings, they can't fly though) or they'll get competitive.
Cricket care is pretty similar: you'll want TWO tubs instead of one, keeping the adults separated from the younglings. Also crickets prefer to hide in kitchen rolls or toilet rolls rather than egg cartons, tough you can provide both options. Still you'll want to put mosquito screening on top, or rather drill holes on the side and put mosquito screening there (crickets can actually escape if given too many openings, they can and will climb glass, plastic, and eat fiberglass). Some people put water bottle caps inside their tubs to give them water, but I'm too paranoid about them drowning, though that's mostly a problem with nymphs. Crickets also do well at room temperature, but prefer to be between the 80-90 degrees F.
I feed both the dubias and crickets with wheat bran, oranges, and bananas. Having oranges around (or other very moist fruits) is a good way to not use potentially dangerous water crystals, they stay hydrated that way.
Also, I have a leopard gecko, a leachie gecko, and a gargoyle gecko. The one that eats insects the most is the leo, since the others are mainly fed with Repashy Mix

>>7936878
High amounts of T cause birth defects, so no, you're not supposed to. Doctors want you to stop T immediately if you're pregnant and not thinking of abortion.

Just because you're on T doesn't make you safe. It stops your periods and may make you sterile, but it's not a birth control.

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>>7948922
Thanks, dude. How often do you clean out the tubs? And how do you manage breeding/reproducing? Do they just lay eggs willy nilly or is it in cycles? You got any pics? Gecko pics are also awesome.
Have you tried eating them yourself?

>>7947496
i meant the t, but after thinking about it a bit more i understand. sorry if i came off as rude.
i guess you could get laser hair removal later on?

>>7949376
No offense taken.
I shave regularly but I have sensitive skin, I suppose I should consider laser.

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>>7949181
Crickets start mating when they reach adulthood at 1-2 months of age, and after mating a fertile female will basically lay eggs almost constantly, which hatch after two weeks of being laid. Female crickets can produce WAY more nymphs than Dubias in one sitting, so you should get a less quantity of them to start.
Dubias pretty much start breeding once they get to 5-6 months of age, females can give birth every 2 months or so, giving birth one month after being bred with a male and taking one month off. They don't really lay eggs, the eggs stay inside the mother until they hatch and the nymphs come out of the mother.
I haven't really tried to eat them, mostly because I sell/give away the excess bugs, but I've heard that toasted roaches and crickets are very tasty.
I don't have any pictures of my geckos right now, a lot of my image files got corrupted, but pic related kinda looks like my garg

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>>7949181
>>7949598
Also, about cleaning, when you start you can do it every 5 days or so, but as your population grows you'll probably need to wash the tubs daily. It's pretty fast and easy:
-put bugs in separate bin
-take cartons or tubes out
-shake the enclosure so pieces of cardboard and etc group in a corner to take it out
-wash enclosure with a damp cloth, with just a tiny bit of disinfectant if it looks too dirty. Make sure to clean the enclosure with another damp cloth afterwards so there are no disinfectant leftovers
-put cardboard back in, then put bugs back in
Ec pc. Can't take more than 10-20 minutes. Remember to get new cardboard pieces if the ones you got look too dirty.
Bonus: pic related kinda looks like my leo

>>7948605

well i mean... i can't work anyway so the worst thing is really the handwashing and eh... i'd rather scrub my hands raw and be in pain then deal with the anxiety not doing that shit causes me... the other shit is just... well my s/o is used to me anyway

idk how different tapping is in comparison with machines, but from what i know with a machine when the needle is angled you're not getting that same clean line and you're risking blowout... just think about pushing anything under your skin at an angle in comparison to straight up and down... like you if you just poke your finger with something straight on and you just have a dot of blood from it, now, but something getting stuck under your skin at an angle then the wound looks more like a line

once the flowers drop off, the leaves are easy to recognize

sometimes "toxic" just means it can get you high... i've gotten valerian from shops that sell herbs and shit... when i was back in brooklyn i was using it as an herbal addition to everything else i was taking...

yeah, idk for sure or not but i need to get some testing done cuz i might have it... and cuz of the way the other shit has gone my doctor told me that's the most likely worst case scenario progression, what i have can mimic it though... so i'm not worried, but i also kinda don't wanna know... i had insurance, but then i moved switched my insurance and didn't go to a doctor cuz i was so fucked up on heroin i couldn't even... now i gotta go through the process of getting it again here

i could see why, but i know some shit is only toxic in large amounts, but not otherwise

>>7948605

+ i kinda don't give a shit if this is ms, i'm just gonna drown myself in drugs and alcohol to deal with it either way cuz i don't care honestly... i know that sounds bad but eh

>>7938870
>buy vibrator
>stick it inside pants/underwear
>looks like dick
>fap like you have a dick
>????
>profit

>>7942175
"That one dude's a fuckhead and holy shit get some help now jesus christ. Also transgender is a thing. You should.. probably look that up."
possibly followed by a list of bands because fuck it i might as well

>>7940730
indeed they are not

would it be in poor taste to name myself chad

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>>7953291
Do it

>>7953291
I support your decision.

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>>7949598
>>7949645
Clean every day? Are you serious? Sounds like a lot of work.
Can you travel when farming bugs? How long can they manage themselves alone?

>>7949934
What other rituals do you have?

>>7953291
Get a kickstarter and have people pay you to get it changed to Chad Thundercock. Limit on 10.000 or something. Use the cash to get surgery.
I'm serious btw. If it fails all that happens is that you make less money. If it takes off you will be reborn in meme Nirvana.

>>7953511
Cleaning everyday is actually pretty quick, you'll rarely need to do more than cleaning the tub with a damp cloth, it becomes faster everytime. Don't worry though, most times you won't have a colony huge enough that it requires more than cleaning three-four times a week. Plus, it's a good way to check on how your colonies are going.
If you have someone you can trust, I recommend you teach them how to take care of the bugs. If you leave them with lots of food, preferably moist food, they can get by for around four days alone at a time; if you have external heating devices though, such as heat tape or an under-tank heater, you'll need to get them checked daily to make sure everything works fine

>>7953511

i'm a little too high for the self examination writing a list to someone would require honestly... saying something in passing conversation is a different than consciously thinking about shit, writing a list, and seeing it all laid out... and i'm the sorta person who will do that, go over it for way too long, be too conscious about it throughout the day and then just be hypercritical every time i do anything... so eh, i'll pass...

no offense or anything, it's cool with me that you asked, i just know i'm not gonna care for answering

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I've read great things about this razor, what do you say lads?

t. that one guy who shaves every day

>>7932953
>No cis guys allowed edition
Cis guy here. Great music taste you've got there.

>>7953611
Yeah well nice penis. No homo.

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>>7953589
Fair enough. Thanks for all the info, Gecko-anon. I'm learning shitloads here. How do you ask someone to be a bug-sitter? I mean, without looking like a loon.

>>7953605
No worries, dude. It's a very personal question.

>>7953610
Does it really matter what brand you use? As long as you don't use the cheapest nastiest brand with built-in tetanus infection you'll probably be fine. Don't waste your money on fancy packaging and shiny stuff.

>>7953943
It's like 6€.

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>>7953951
It's not about the price, it's about principle. You're paying 5€ more than the product is worth because brand, packaging and marketing. By buying the product you are allowing yourself to be the fool of the sale interaction, being played like a violin. You are a cuck, good sir.

>>7953951

he's >>7953969 right, better steal it...

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>>7953981
Seconding this. Stealing is fun. Do it, anon.

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>get on T
>lose a bunch of weight
>go from 30x30 to 28x30
>have to buy all new pants
>don't wanna shop online because only some pants look good on weird small body

Should I just become a chubster just to make clothing myself easier?

Stand to pee, yes or no?
Can anybody here do it without a device?

>>7954391
You know, sewing is taught in basic military training and is considered a survival skill because you can use it on wounds. It doesn't make you look girly.

>>7954409
Yes

Can't do it without a device, I think it'd take winning the genetic lottery or some serious Olympic level piss talent to pull that off. My stream goes in 3 directions sometimes just sitting to piss. I use the GoGirl stp.

Nothing can make me cis

>>7954391
Pants are pretty annoying to make, especially at the entire waist area.

But, if you want.

>>7954409
I don't get much dysphoria from peeing, although sitting is annoyingly messy

>>7954409
I just can't be bothered with the STP devices. Just sitting down to pee is kinda relaxing too, but perhaps I'm just weird...

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Pay attention to your physical and mental health. A healthy mind sprouts from a healthy body (and healthy setting but not everyone has control over that). Do what you can. Love yourself. Be happy, eat well, and find positive outlets. Good luck guys!

>>7954409
I personally want to try it, but good STPs can get expensive

>>7953943
>how do you ask someone to be a bug-sitter?
Either have something to offer (like money, food, etc), or be lucky and know someone who's interested in exotic animal keeping. I'm lucky my older brother is interested in invertebrates so he doesn't need too much convincing to do it.
Once you find someone who accepts the task, show them how you do your stuff and also write it down somewhere.
Also, a big tip I forgot to give you, everything that you need for your bugs you're gonna want to have close to their tubs, like water sprayers and extra supplies, so you don't get lazy when you have to do clean-ups and stuff.

>>7954409
I just pee wherever. It's a skill. In the men's bathroom I just pretend I'm taking a shit, in the open air I know how to hide myself well enough to pee at any moment if needed. Pissed in a bottle during a car ride with my cousins on the way to the seaside, because we were stuck in the motorway for hours. Pissed in a shopping bag for the same reason another time. Of course no STPs, I don't know how that shit works. Plus keeping a silicone lump stuffed in my underwear doesn't sound appealing..

>>7955652
>Pissed in a bottle during a car ride with my cousins on the way to the seaside, because we were stuck in the motorway for hours. Pissed in a shopping bag for the same reason another time.
gross gross gross

>>7955705
You don't want your bladder to explode do you? Plus it was with my cousins, who gives a shit when you're with relatives.

>>7955705
like, uhm, ew...total gross out *barf*. Fucking man up you freaky little pussy boy.

>>7955812
Jesus christ it's just piss in a bottle, you people freak out easily. You're just jealous of the aim and skill it takes to do that without pissing on the car seat.

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>>7955880
Shit I'm retarded, thought you were replying to me. Disregard that.

>>7955880
I just find holding a bottle to your crotch to piss while sitting next to relatives gross.

>>7955903
Not if you're comfy with said relatives, we've been pissing together packed in my aunt's RV in the summer for as long as I can remember. You know you're really comfortable with your family members when you can all piss in the same bathroom taking turns while having casual chit chat. Like bonding time.

>>7955928
I honestly consider myself pretty comfy with my relatives but nothing like this. You'd see each others bits! With a partner it might be nice for me.

>>7955977
Yeah but it's like seeing your brother's\sister's ass, it's nothing. We've always been a bunch of mixed male\female cousins, same age, growing up together and you end up not giving a shit. We used to casually piss in fields as kids when playing outside and there was no time to go home and privately relieve your bladder.

>>7954800
Same. I'll save the glories of pissing standing up for after I've had phallo.

Hmmmm

>>7956020
I pissed in fields as a kid but I'd do it behind a hedge out of sight.

>>7955880
Pissing in a bottle takes no skill

My dad just read this whole thread

>>7956300
Bet he had a good laugh

>>7956317
He recommends everyone ITT to pee on trees. "Aim high".
Idk.

I feel uncomfortable talking about piss t b h

>>7956357
I pee sitting down

>>7956371
When did you start tripping again?

>>7956389
pretty recently, last week I started up again I think

>>7956389
But I first started about a year ago if thats what you meant

ok, lets do this, /lgbt/.
i have a cis femme boyfriend who affectionately calls me faggot. ive considered myself a transdude since 7th grade, now in my mid twenties, name change and using estrogen blockers- and always had the traditional transdude hypermasc wishes to be buff and well-bearded- until i let my boyfriend sissy me up in the bedroom and he admitted he likes me as the current andro fem boi look i have going- now im fully embracingbthe andro trappy look. maybe its just tumblrinas way of thinking that i was exposed to, but i feel like i shouldnt call myself a transman anymore. personally, i really do sorta think of myself as a faggot/tranny, but i know most of society now thinks those are "slurs". any advice on acceptable identifying terms that don't make you want to puke?

>>7956373
Can you aim high while squatting?

>>7956371
Why?

>>7956433
Why would I need to aim?

>>7956433
cause I don't have a dicc and balles and pissing is a depressing reminder of that

>>7956451
Have you had any growth?

>>7956442
For the same reason cats chase red laser dots.

>>7956486
I don't need to aim

Fucking hell lads, my sister just sent me pics from a couple of years ago when I was full on Auschwitz mode. That's creepy as shit.

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>>7956486
>Have you had any growth?
y-yes

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>>7956508
Same

>>7956506
How skelly are we talking here?

>>7956508
>>7956544
Lewd

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>>7956563
How lewd?

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>>7956566
>>7956544
introduce yourself new namefag

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>>7956579
Well some know me as Magi
Others know my real name too

>>7956596
[spoiler]Gage pls?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]spoilers don't work rip[/spoiler]

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>>7956608
Gage? nope not that person

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>>7956596

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>>7956646

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>>7956621
good chat

>>7956563
45kg/about 100lbs for the burgers. My arms are literally twice the size right now.

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>>7956683
Hmm, if you say so :3 it's pretty quiet here atm

>>7956701
usually is, not as many ftms here as there are mtfs on 4chan, I spend more time over on other boards/threads with this open in the back

>>7954409
Standing when you've a toiled made for sitting is gross. I grew up in a household where none of the men stood up, and after working resturant and rooming with a cis dude for a few months I feel like it's some bullshit.

>Yellow marks on inside of lid and ring
>Ring is always up (I've almost fell into the toilet like, thrice)
>If pee splashes up on the ring, where the fuck else will it splash?!
>Cleaning off other people's pee
>Every men's room smells like urine

I mean I get the convenience, as an outdoorsy person I'd love to be able to do it, but I'll live. I can just hike down my pants and lean up against a tree.

[spoiler]Kink stuff, on the other hand...[/nospoilersonlgbt]

>>7956429
Well, what you personally identify as isn't as important as how you function socially when it comes to terminology. There's a lot more to how I relate to my identity than just "natal female transitioning to male", but socially I function as a trans man and I perform socially as a man. So that's what I call myself.

>>7954447
It won't, but you'll live and eventually you'll be fine.

>>7954409
I pee in the shower, does that count?

>>7956701
There isn't much shit going on here, some occasional discussion that makes it busier, Fiona crapping all over the place, cisbro's advice, Brooklyn's walls of texts, routine doesn't change much. Why here of all places? Also my Northgard village has more sheep than men, how to obtain women rather than sheep I wonder

>>7957331
practice flirting with the sheep first

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>>7957348
They don't need flirting, the sheepfolds are big enough to fit my men's nightly endeavors. If mating with sheep gave me more villagers I'd do it, I'd get my human-sheep hybrids like there was no tomorrow, makes sense in the clan of the Goat. But it doesn't. All of my vikings probably practice sodomy.
>tfw no stocky shieldmaiden to bear your children

>>7956757
solid dude, thank you. i function pretty much socially as a dude at this point so male pronouns it is