So I need some advice on my transition so far I feel a little lost and thought maybe I could get it here
>I had thoughts of being a girl since I was 5
>like guys in 4th grade
>like girls in 5th grade but i might have been a little more into guys
>never had friends of my own but hung around my older sister and her friends a lot
>Turns out they're sort of the attractive girl clique at they're school
>I envy my sister through out my life and was hoping to one day be like her
>didn't make friends in middle school
>I didn't really understand my sexuality or my body either so i became the weird hoodie kid.
>be in high school re-met an old friend
>she took me into her group of girlfriends who turned out to be all attractive
>be extremely envious of the freedom they have of being able to be themselves feminine and beautiful confident just everything I wanted to be
>always joke about being one of the girls which I always was and didn't really care
>but i was never flamboyant gay kid that hung around girls more the nerdy kid with a lot of girls for friends
>now i realize i want to be a girl but pretty like them
Here is the problem I'm facing the only reason I point out they're attractive is I think one of my biggest reasons i had in high school to start presenting was to be a part of this group but as one of the attractive girls. I feel like vanity was one of the major drives in my transition. I dont really now if I'm AGP because I never got off to being hot I just wanted to be like one of the hot girls. I dont pass and it makes me bummed out and I think this is the reason why. I cant find complete happiness in my transition and i feel like maybe I'm doing it for the wrong reasons because I'm not fully happy like some trans woman are, am i reading to much into this idk help??????
cis male
Do you have hobbies or anything that can neglect your feelings? If passable is a problem for you, don't transition if you are 21 and above
I dont think vanity should be an issue when you are trans I always striffed to be able to compare with the hot girls which I managed to achieve. But the thing is eventhough Im almost always said to be the most attractive in groups with other hot cis girls Im still not content about myself no matter what others say I cant unsee myself as who i used to be in the mirror in certain angles. Its quite frustrating at times but I take comfort in what others say rather then what I see.
>>7869442
I used to have hobbies but I'm already transitioning and above 21 so maybe I'm fucked ain't I??? The thing is I am trans so I wanted to transition either way
>>7869454
I think that's what it is I'm trying my hardest to attain that look of attractivness or I'm struggling to find what's attractive with me
? How long have you been transitioning for if you don't mind asking