I'm 19 (male) and really confused. Not even sure if this is the board to be posting on, but it seems somewhat related to my problem(s) and I hope at least someone can give me some kind of advice. I do my best to just straight-up not even think about this and have never told a living soul about it. It's getting to the point where I'm seriously considering an hero.
Since maybe 15 years old, or at least that's when I remember actually feeling effected by this. I've always been just average regarding my looks. Nothing special, but I know I'm not unattractive either, which is another issue for later. Anyways, I don't *feel* like a man and I absolutely hate my body. Sometimes I wake up and feel like "Fuck dude, just start working out and you'll feel fine," but that doesn't do anything for me. Everything I do to try to accept masculinity and fit in with other men feels wrong. Yet, people look at me or speak with me and they see nothing wrong. I'm a fucking normie. Like I do more than my other male friends, yet they seem to have no trouble being the dudebro stereotype. What I'm trying to say is, I feel more feminine than masculine.
I don't know if I would want to transition, how I would do so, and I definitely don't expect people I know to accept that. It might even be too late to consider such a thing. I don't know.. I would hate to lose family, friends, and whatever, but I hate living in a shell that I've wasted so much time and effort on just to not even feel welcome in even more.
First time posting here, so hopefully I don't offend anyone. Sorry for the blog/vent post. Any sort of advice would be much appreciated.
>>7867338
1. Age/height/body size
2. Could you be happy living as a feminine woman?
3. Could you be happy living as an ugly woman?
4. Could you bear the shame of talking about these feelings to family or friends?
>>7867443
*2. Could you be happy living as a feminine man?
>>7867338 (OP) #
1. Age/height/body size
19, 5'11", slim build, but enough muscle to have to lose to look feminine
2. Could you be happy living as a feminine man?
Uh the stigma that goes with that along with the people I know probably disowning me would probably be a no
3. Could you be happy living as an ugly woman?
If I could at least be average like I am now, sure. Being a Stacey is just unrealistic, I know how the mtf game works.
4. Could you bear the shame of talking about these feelings to family or friends?
Maybe family, I'd probably just drop friends and disappear.