is there an explanation as to why trans women overestimate their

>>7530618

People are happier when they're unaware of their problems.

also post a pic to see if you pass or not

It's pretty simple. They hang around in hugboxes or see an affirming therapist, and they are given a rose-tinted self-image. It's rudimentary psychology. I always assume my passability is shaky, and I base it on how strangers address me. I seem to pass with them most of the time, so I assume my passability is generally decent. People don't typically bat an eye at me anymore and I'm referred to in the third person as she by people I don't know and who have no reason to accommodate me just to be nice.

>>7530633
trust me, I do not pass. I see it in people's stares and I have been called out a few times. I could post not one but 100 pictures, however, you need to see me in real life, to judge. Pictures are very misleading.

>>7530638
I am referred as "she" and "ma'am" all the time, I haven't been called "sir" in years, however, just because they are polite to me, it doesn't mean that I pass. However, I do see strangers staring at me, even if they do not say anything, I just see a puzzled or shocked look on their faces. And I dress conservatively

>>7530666
One sure way to tell is to go to a more conservative area or go near a high school. The people around those parts are far less inclined to be polite. If you're still gendered correctly, you probably pass without question.

>>7530782
Less likely to be polite or at least not as accommodating, is what I meant.

>>7530782
why not bathroom at the mall?
i'm sure there's plenty of non polite people who will let you know if you don't pass

>>7530837
>3
if I wear my hair down and put a lot of effort on clothes, make up, hair and hide the borders of my face with hair, I pass, but when I go hiking or I can't wear my hair down, I do not pass.

Rampant hug-boxing and wishful thinking taken to an extreme.

not that I think I pass yet, but I think i have a chance because I have eyes and shittons of cis girls are disgusting, hideous amalgamations of genetic horror

never gonna be mila kunis tho :/

>>7531057

and more sincerely, I have such bad dysmorphia (not just dysphoria) that I don't actually trust my judgment much

optimism and willful ignorance are acceptable strategies when life is so dire

>>7531057
absolutely. A lot of cis girls are disgusting and horrible BUT, there is a BUT: they still look like women, whereas someone who is trans looks manly. Oh boy, this life is so hard, I wish I had never transitioned to begin with, this is too hard for me to handle, I have panic attacks and I hate leaving the house.

>>7531122
I don't think it applies to me, i tend to be overly critical and too aware. but have you not noticed that basically everyone lives with a state of willful ignorance in some domain?

it think it's possible you can't actually be rational and not depressed. the only way people seem to survive is by being ignorant and selfish.

fortunately my depression has been so bad for so long that I've lost my short term memory and have problems with executive function so I'm most of the way there.

>>7531136
wait actually I totally think it applies to me and didn't finish that thought properly. it applies to all humans, except maybe the most autistic of us

just like we're all racist, we're also purposefully ignorant. the real problem being a cultural unwillingness to acknowledge irrational behavior & probably a biological inability to notice it in oneself.

>>7530618
>I am a trans-woman myself and I am very self-aware
That reflects well on your psychological health and maturity.

>So, is there any scientific or psychological explanation as to why trans women overestimate their passability?
Reality distortion. The same way an obese lard will deny that obesity is a health risk, since if they admit that, they'll also have to admit that they're neglecting themselves, and admit that they're using food to run away from something, and finally come to terms with whatever that "something" is and admit that too.
Much easier to just deny, minimize, project, delude yourself, and distract yourself so you don't have to think about it too hard.

Put another way: admitting they don't pass means admitting they'll likely be even more marginal and isolated than they were pre-transition, which means admitting to themselves that they didn't think the whole thing through, that most people won't be attracted to them, and that they will never have been socialized as girls and will always basically be broken boys, unless they get top notch psychiatric help and fix literally every single problem they have other than dysphoria. Whereas most just bury their head in the sand and look for transition to fix all their personal quirks, angst and immaturity.

It's much easier to run away from your problems than to do the above and face them.

This seems opposite for me. I don't believe I pass at all. I assume everyone can tell if they are paying even a little attention. I know for sure a small % spot me immediately and others pick up over time, but I work in beauty retail and interact with women all day and I am confused as to how many customers just can't tell. Even more surprising is I have co workers who couldn't tell after weeks.

As I assume I am easily clickable I just live out, but I keep getting this reaction that I need to stop. That I am wrong. That I pass. I hear it from cis women. They tell me stop assuming people know. Stop outing yourself.

I certainly hear I pass from Trans friends. I heard it at work from a super pretty Trans woman who is a major vendor rep for us. She was like you obviously can't see what others see. You pass.
This topic makes me confused as hell

I have posted in pass gen and hear I pass. I don't get it.

>>7531618
body dysmorphia. I got mine from an eating disorder tbqh

you're broken and incapable of seeing yourself in a reasonably objective fashion

>>7531618
I had to get past this too. I don't out myself even if something kinda sketchy happens, like they bring up trans stuff out of turn, because 9 times out of 10 it was a coincidence and had nothing to do with me. I was just out and held up a sword (don't ask), and some nerdy guys told me that I would be a good cosplayer, and then one of them told me I should cosplay as Crona from Soul Eater because of my "body type". I must have facefaulted or something, because then he was like "yeah I know, it's a normie anime".

Sometimes people can't tell even if it should be fucking obvious. Cis people are actually that stupid. So don't out yourself if you don't absolutely have to, ever. Don't get insulted over shit that probably doesn't even concern you. Like if I had overreacted there like an SJW, it would have been game over. Learn to think of yourself as cis in every situation, back in the old days I could even get out of shit just by saying "no, I'm a girl", and they would kind of look closely and be like "oh, I'm so sorry".

>>7530618
The ones that don't pass overestimate their passability, the ones that do pass have serious complexes where they think they look worse than they actually do.
It's like how dumb people think they're geniouses while the smart people of the world are constantly second guessing themselves.

>>7531643
Yeah I think I have body dysmorphia. Sometimes I see what I think others see, but it doesn't last very long.
Most of the time while socializing people just are nice to me. I go out anywhere and everywhere. I get hit on and people are normal. So I know if I was a hon that couldn't be.

I only went full time 9 months ago so maybe that is it.

>>7530618
Usually things like aspergers.
They're bad at gendering people, and don't pick up male/female ques as a normal person would.
Then there's also some who have to lie to themselves to be able to live with themselves, so they decide to live in a delusion.

>>7530618
Because men are over egoed fuckbois

Here where I live we have heavly gendered language so you can tell immediately if you pass or not and politeness doesn't matter as it's really hard to talk in female fashion to somone who look like male (and vice versa).

I offendend so many other trans people just because they didn't pass. Be glad you only have basic pronounces and sir/maam.

Oh and another plus side is that shit like xir/ze doesn't work here.

>>7531853
How would you even work genderfluid sjw shit into a romance language? Too much work.

>>7531853
>it's really hard to talk in female fashion to somone who look like male (and vice versa).

What do you mean by this? Sometimes I have to humor people when they don't look female/male, but I still do it and use their preferred pronouns.

The language here is extremely gender neutral and not being able to use that to gauge my passing only fuels my paranoia

>>7532038
hi finland

>>7531894
I think they mean that the amount of times you actually use specifically gendered language in a sentence/conversation while speaking English is pretty low. It's easy enough to remind yourself to say her instead of him every once in a while. However in some other languages more words than just pronouns are gendered. It's harder to change your whole speech pattern or whatever than it is to just remember pronouns, so you're more likely to slip up

>>7530618
They don't. They just go "uh shit nigga it don't matta wut i looks like, cuz i FEEL passable"

>mfw only get ma'amed and miss'd by Arab and Indian guys

>>7530618
That's actually a very good question....I'm afraid that I don't have an answer though, but just an observation. I've found that transwomen (especially one online) fall into one of two categories:

1) incredibly insecure and seeking help to improve
2) extremely confident with massive egos

Last week there was a transwoman on a ego trip who created thread about herself, and in it, she posted a bunch of photos (including one of herself in a Boy Scout uniform in which she looked like a man with long hair), absolutely convinced that she passes 100% to everybody. When I pointed out otherwise, she said I was being an asshole and trolling her. I was like WTF? Can't take constructive criticism?

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>deep stealth
I just love when hons use this term.

>>7531057
>implying mila kunis isn't a disgusting, hideous amalgamation of genetic horror
bruh

>>7531853
>Here where I live we have heavly gendered language
Israel?

>>7531706
>Cis people are actually that stupid.

not true at all. Trannies like to believe that cis-people are oblivious and don't clock, but it's not true at all. You would be amazed. In fact, the opposite is true. I had some trans friends who I thought were extremely passable and yet random cis people would clock them immediately. The problem is that we, trannies, are desensitized and we get used to odd physical appearance whereas cis people clock more than what you might think. Also, a lot of people are fake and will tell you that you pass to your face when in reality you don't. I am starting to believe that passing is a meme since I still have to see a transsexual who is passable. And please do not post Nicole Maines photos implying she is passable. First of all, she is not. She is not passable. Second of all, you can't appreciate size, height, face width in pictures

Creepy old guys hit on me all the time so they either can't tell or have rather eccentric tastes.

>>7533385
Some pass so well that you can't tell until government outs them for spite. I met this chick. I clock everyone. I wouldn't have ever guessed she was Trans. I met even more totally stealth Trans through her.

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>>7533416

>>7530618
>tfw you don't really have any masculine features
>tfw TSA called you miss before correcting themselves when they saw your ID and dick
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I actually pass. If I didn't, they would have continued to be polite.

>>7531706
>"Sometimes people can't tell even if it should be fucking obvious. Cis people are actually that stupid."
>"Learn to think of yourself as cis in every situation, back in the old days I could even get out of shit just by saying "no, I'm a girl", and they would kind of look closely and be like 'oh, I'm so sorry'."
Best advice.

>>7533486
you can convince yourself you are a real woman, you can do all you want, however, if your bone structure is that of a man, no amount of confidence and acting skills will help you

>>7531618
Your an idiot. Cis people pander to trans all the time. Don't believe a word those cis people say. They ALWAYS tell trans they pass. They are afraid of offending you or are pitying you guaranteed

>>7531853
This is delusional. I assume you are from Europe.

>>7530640
I know this feel well

>>7533426
She looks like a man to me. Look how wide her face is. Guaranteed her face is male scale not female scale

>>7533416
This is wrong and delusional. >>7533429
Your an idiot. Tsa called me miss all the time and I don't pass at all. Why are you stupid trannies so fucking

>>7534040
So fucking delusional. You idiots actually think that because tsa gets confused by your gender that means you pass. Jesus

>>7533486
You can delude yourself all you want.

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>>7533429
Tfw I tuck and they don't even know about my dick

>>7533385
>I still have to see a transsexual who is passable
I hope you understand your error here

>>7534033
>>7533548
>>7533385
Shut the thread down, skull autist showed up

>>7534731
nope, lick my ass after I take a shit

cis people who tell you you pass are making fun of you or pitying you. They need you so that they feel better about themselves.

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>>7534052
You really are something, anon!

>>7535325
trust me, people know you are a tranny but clown you

>>7535318
>cis people who tell you you pass are making fun of you or pitying you. They need you so that they feel better about themselves.
Wrong but correct in spirit
When cis people tell you you pass it's because it's now taboo outside like Alabama to disagree about transsexuals. They tell you you pass because they're afraid to get shit on for telling the truth.

>>7534833
Get lost cara

>>7535318
>>7539150

I think it's more about avoiding drama, like, just use whatever pronoun this tranny wants you to use and move on with your life

>>7535325
I'm serious, you can beat the machine if you tuck

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>>7530618
>I do not pass
>caring what other people think of me

love yourself.
stop worrying about passabililty.
we all have flaws, most of them are only obvious to ourselves.
there are many things much more important than how you look.

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>>7530618
>why are people in denial?

because it is easier

>>7540726
>Actually believing this new age garbage
There are two types of people, winners and losers. And that kind of thinking puts you on the fast track to loserville, population: you.

>>7541710
Better be a happy looser than a sad tryhard.

>>7540726
>stop worrying about passabililty
See, if society didn't hate trannies so much, maybe you'd have a point. But non-passing trannies are discriminated against, beaten, and even killed. Of course passing is important.

>>7540726

>love yourself

I hate this shit, how the fuck can I love myself when I look in the mirror and see a man? If my appearance didn't matter, then I and many other wouldn't have even transitioned in the first place.

Your argument/proposition is straight garbo anon.

>>7540670
But there would be literally no drama if other cis people didn't shit on a cis person for using the pronouns they perceive. Sure, the tranny would be sad, but for the person doing it, no drama.

In the old norms, you'd get more drama if you *did* call someone a girl who clearly wasn't.