/ftmg/ - female to male general

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first post

>>7034926
Too soon.

Also add notanotheraiden link to OP for gay ftms.

Link to new thread in old thread should be put three times, as is tradition.

>>7035130
kys

>>7035130
>mfw my thread died
i'm considering adding notanotheraiden when i make the next one given i'm the one who links it in threads anyway but given it hasn't been updated in over a year, the guy who ran it now considers it an archive, and the formatting is broken on most posts, i'm hesitant

>>7035200
>new threadmaker OP wants imput
>post has reasonable suggestions
>newfag kys

>>7035147
Post butt

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>>7035368
Gross nevermind

Protip, doing art as a career is like trying to win a race by shooting yourself in the foot.

not into visual art... i appreciate when other people are (my s/o is), but i can't even...

instead i play guitar (i know how to play a few other instruments, but i don't really and haven't in a long time so i don't count them), sing, and write occasionally...


>>7035609

depends on what you do with it... my s/o did alright when he was tattooing... and his sis had a pretty alright job putting up murals... sure not everyone is gonna be a famous artist, but there are jobs that involve art that someone can do alright in...

How do you control the BO?

>>7036465
Take a damn shower anon

>>7032044
I'm sort of riding on credit cards right now, which could turn out to be an awful decision if I don't manage to find a part-time by the end of this month-ish.

Talking about it here inspired me to look into less legal alternatives though, and I did manage to throw some (a lot of) money down on importing my meds from abroad, but it's almost 2/3 of a year's worth and I paid around $200 which is definitely not awful. I just have to bank on customs either not checking the package contents, or not giving a shit about someone importing a non-addictive schedule IV drug when there's more pressing shit to worry about getting in. With these meds, I'd be able to handle a sit-down/desk job that wouldn't be too hard on my shitty body, and it opens up some less stressful job options than retail and food service.. Fingers crossed.

>>7032288
Rain and storms mess me up too. When the barometric pressure changes, it hits my left wrist, but my feet even moreso-- I had surgery on both of them, one summer '15 and one two months ago. Since they had to remove bone and put screws in each foot, when storms approach suddenly the pain gets so bad I can't always walk lmao. It's gonna start snowing here later this month and it's gonna be absolute shit.

>health shit
It's hard for people like me to be taken seriously (not "making excuses/making it up") when telling managers/coworkers/people in general about their health issues when all of them are actually diagnosed. All of mine from my post earlier are verified by doctors and my therapist, yet because I'm mildly functional while in my home (low-anxiety space + can sleep any time my narcolepsy kicks my ass) people don't believe they're that bad or that I'm making them up. It's frustrating. And it's because of trenders and shit self-diagnosing a bunch of stuff that NEEDS medical testing and verification. Ugh

>>7036465
Welcome to second puberty

http://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/what-is-that-147185.html

>>7036583

that's not a really long window of time... hopefully it works out

idk about getting that shit sent through mail, but i know other drugs can get through ok usually depending on packaging and shit... drugs tend to slip by cuz the focus is more on weapons and shit you know?

never had drugs sent to me personally, but i know a lot of people... including meds and shit from other countries... and even like... i knew a chick who killed herself with a euthanasia drug she got online...

for me it's not even just my body unfortunately, i get issues with shit like forgetting things, mixing up words, concentration etc so even like a desk job would be shit for me (can't sit that long anyway my body locks up, i can't even sit in a movie theatre without issues for an entire movie)

even shit like playing guitar can be painful for me...

why'd you need the surgery for your feet? that sounds awful btw... idk... for me with rain it's like, i get dizzy and my whole body hurts and gets pins and needles and i can't even necessarily walk... when i do i have balance issues and shit or like one of my legs will just be like "nope not gonna work right" or like the shit with me having a hard time holding shit (i'll just drop shit sometimes cuz my hands won't wanna cooperate) or picking shit up (sometimes i feel so weak i've had trouble lifting a gallon of water) and my vision gets weird as shit too... the last doctor appointment i had we were discussing canes and shit for that kinda weather, but i missed my last appointment cuz i forgot when it was and didn't get a call to remind me and now i gotta change my insurance cuz of the move...

i don't have any issues with people in general not taking me seriously, anyone who's spent a bit of time with me can tell shit's wrong... and on a bad day it's immediately obvious... jobs are just impossible when you can't predict anything either... i can have a good morning and then a couple hours later be a mess

>>7036583

the doctor i had was the first doctor who actually listened to me to give a diagnosis... i went there with this 4 page list of symptoms and she went through all of it with me and shit... then all the testing and shit

but when you tell doctors you had lyme disease and still don't feel better it gets brushed off once you say you've been through the doxy treatment... so i dealt with a lot of that before i found someone who actually did anything...

my issue now is more just that disability would be hard to get cuz even people lower functioning than me who are housebound entirely have shit chances... i can like walk around and shit for a little bit most days (need to take breaks and i'll get really tired or it'll hurt etc), especially if i'm high... but there's no real functioning past that...

>>7037013

+ btw the memory issues and word mixing up words etc aren't drug related... never had those issues before i got sick and even being sober doesn't change it...

>>7037026

mixing up words* my bad... guess i was originally just gonna leave it at "word mixing"

>>7037026
I have some bad memory issues too, from a combination of things. People joke that if something isn't in my direct line of vision, it stops existing to me, which is not entirely inaccurate. I've missed appointments the same way-- if I don't write it down as it's being dictated to me, I'll forget what day or time only minutes later. Or I'll forget where the paper went and subsequently forget I had the appointment at all.

I had a bone issue in my feet, had to get part of a bone shaved down, a chunk of the same bone removed, and a screw put into the bone to keep the parts together. It hurt a lot and sucked ass.

I've heard of some people getting customs seizing their modafinil, but not that often. I'm not too worried. There's a reship policy if customs takes my shit, at least, but waiting the 2 weeks will be horrible because I'm planning on getting my roommates to refer me to a PT desk job a week after I start my doses. Dem credit card bills.............

>>7035609
I'm getting into the illustration business, knowing how to 3D model and animate neat 16bit sprites as well, and doing okay so far- because I'm working my ass off till it bleeds. As an illustrator, unlike an artist, you just need willpower and technical prowess instead of miracles to be able to make do.

>>7037095
Agree. As long as someone is smart, works hard and adapts to the business they can succeed. But statistically they will work very hard for little pay, while most people going down that path expect the opposite.

>>7037166
I live for my ambition, which is to create stories that other people will remember. Since I'm sterile anyway that's probably my way of wanting to become immortal. I don't really care if the pay's all too good if I get to draw comics and get teamed up with a talented writer one day.

If you were to dress up as a mailbox for Halloween, would you then be an ftmtm?

>>7037218
I completely agree with you. Ironically I'm a writer trying to do the same. Have you had any paid projects yet?

I'm an artist but not visual. I write. I want to write books but I'm not in a hurry.

>>7037241
Wouldn't that make you a dragbox rather than a transbox?

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this tree is named harry potter...

>>7037322
People are going to carve lightning marks into that tree. I bet the kid didn't think about that.

>tfw no male friends to hold hands with and watch Astro Boy with

>>7036465
I really haven't had this issue, and i skip showers. Axe is a fantastic thing

>>7037427
Kek. I'm torn between encouraging you to have your teenage boy phase and ridicule you for using nasty brands.

>>7035239
notaiden.tumblr.com still updates...infrequently, but more than once a year

>>7035130
Aight', can do next time then.

>>7036465
I only had BO issues during my first year on T. I took deodorant everywhere I went, and had an extra pair of clothes with me. Got away with it more since I was taking a dance class, though.

>>7037095
How far have you gotten with 3D stuff? Rigged my own model pretty recently, fucking hated it. Textures and sculpting are fun.

>>7037073

i'm not that bad, but i used to have a really good memory so it's shitty to have that kinda thing going on... i don't notice shit though, my observational powers are shit...

that sounds like shit, how bad was the healing process? i imagine that sucked...

it'll probably be fine, at least there's a reship policy... hopefully it all works out

>>7037357

i wish i thought of that, or remembered where the tree was... but that was a while back and on some street i never really bother with...

i'm in the park now... fucking... i really need to chill with this shit and just get weed, i was going to get weed still am and then just...

Hey dudes, I need your advice.

So I'm a gay girl dating another gay girl. I love our relationship and don't want to leave her, but recently she told me she identifies as a guy and wants to be called a more boyish name. My lithe 5'1" 18 yo gf wants to take T and grow a beard..... What are the odds she's just confused and will change her mind? She's like the Tumblr type that wears chokers and has an undercut. Nothing she does is what I would consider masculine, just typical tomboyish lesbian stuff, which I adore. A few of her friends are like this as well, but just look like fat women (not on T). I'm really upset with this whole thing desu. What makes young trendy lesbians want to be men instead of just tomboyish women? I haven't told her yet, but I won't date her if she starts doing T. I don't date men.

Any advice/mean words? Should I keep dating her in hopes she will change her mind? Like I said.. I don't want to leave her

>>7037780
You might not want to, but you might have to. Talk with your partner about this, ask how long they've felt this way before telling you. If they're sincere and not trending, then they're gonna go ahead and do it and you can't hold them back.

>>7037814

Yeah I mean, I couldn't keep a trans person from fulfilling those desires, but damn every part of me wants desperately for her to not do it. She'll change into somebody else. Some weird hairy stranger I won't like anymore.. ughghhhhhhh. I'm so sad. It's as if she's going to die. She told me when she goes off to college next year she will start it. Basically she has a year to live before death. How fucking depressing.

>>7035609
Nah, I'm in product design / illustration and I'll be making robots / technology to replace your jobs.

>>7037780

be upfront and honest about your preferences... don't pretend to be ok with the idea and keep dating so both of you can keep getting more emotionally attached and involved... that'd just be fucked up and unfair to both of you

your partner isn't gonna be a stranger though... if he (not she if they're trans... if you care about them work on showing some respect towards them) is a transguy, then they've always been that way... getting a medical condition treated doesn't turn someone into something else

height and weight have nothing to do with it, and neither do hobbies... i'm 5', not fat, and not really masculine... shit i have long hair... i'm still trans though, the only thing someone needs to be trans is to experience gender dysphoria

is your partner in particular going through a phase? maybe, some people do... but don't count on it being one

i get that it's a shock for you... though idk when my s/o said he was trans and it was suddenly like i had a bf instead of a gf i didn't really give a shit or need to adjust to anything... but i don't care if someone is male or female or cis or trans so it's all the same to me... but i get that for you it's a shock... still holding off, not respecting pronouns, and continuing to date when you're a lesbian cuz you're hoping it's a phase isn't gonna help either of you

and whether it's a friendship or a relationship if you give a shit about someone then you should be open and honest... and in a case like this it's absolutely necessary

just save yourself (and your partner) from potentially worse heartache by being honest with them...

>>7037780
I would say be honest with them but also stick it out until you're no longer attracted to them. Maybe their appearance won't matter so much since you already have feelings for them. Or maybe it will. Unfortunately loving someone isn't always enough.

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>>7037840
Dude do you even

>>7038252

that's just going to make things worse for both of them in the long run when/if it doesn't work out... taking a break, staying friends and seeing how things go in the future is one thing... continuing a relationship though is probably a bad idea...

you're right in the sense that like people can be ok with it for the right person, but to a point there's usually an immediate level of acceptance... my s/o considered himself straight (the longer he's been with me since finding out i'm trans the more open he's become about guys in general), but when i came out to him he said he didn't care cuz it was me... he saw me as an exception and didn't feel like it would just be over if i sought medical attention for the shit i have (he's been one of the most supportive people in my life with it) and told me he thought he'd still be attracted to me anyway... and honestly i think that kinda shit can make all the difference

there's nothing wrong with someone breaking up with someone when they out cuz of their sexuality... it's perfectly understandable... but there's a lot wrong with stringing someone along 'til you find them unattractive when you know from the start you couldn't deal with it...

but what the fuck do i know? i'm starting to nod off while i type this...

>>7038232

K well SHE isn't presenting as male yet so she told me not to use male pronouns until then. So eat a dick. I'm fine with her identifying more with men than women, that's whatever. Being an ftm and taking testosterone is another story..

But yeah anyways, I'm not stupid I know what T does to people. She will drastically change into someone else. I have absolutely zero urge to date a pube face manlet.

>is your partner in particular going through a phase? maybe, some people do... but don't count on it being one

She's 18. I don't think I'm wrong to hope she may be just going through a phase. Don't pretend that "ftm" genderqueer tumblrites don't exist because they most certainly do. I hate this stupid trend with young lesbians. I don't believe for a second that all of them are transexuals. Oh, you and your circle of gay friends in highschool all turned out to be ftm, what a coincidence. No fucking way.. Not going to give up on our relationship just like that though.

>>7038252

>Maybe their appearance won't matter so much since you already have feelings for them

Maybe. Not gonna lie I find (no offense) men to be vile looking and I would never date one. She looks like an adorable young girl so I'm okay with her identifying as male for now..

I just don't know. I'll have to just stick it out until the person I feel in love with disappears forever or decides not to.

>>7038357
save him the trouble of dealing with your garbage and break it off asap

>>7038394

Whatever dyke

>>7038357

well when you're talking about a potential transguy and referring to them as "she" to transguys you come off disrespectful... that's just how shit is... no need to be rude, you came here asking for advice i gave you my opinion...

looking different isn't the same as being someone else... people are far more than just their outsides, and the core of who someone is doesn't just disappear... so personally i think it sounds stupid to rant about them being a stranger

i told you to not count on it being a phase cuz it's possible it isn't (pretty sure i straight up said it is for some people, so i have no idea what you're ranting about there) and the best approach is to usually take this shit seriously in case it isn't... i wasn't pretending shit you're just being dramatic and not paying attention

all that being said i've known i was trans since i was a little kid, much younger than 18, so your partner being 18 doesn't mean it definitely is a phase...

if you're not gonna actually read what i say, don't respond, cuz seriously i'm too high to deal with some chick asking for advice and then getting bitchy at me over shit that wasn't even said... do whatever you want it's your life i'm mpt invested in it

>>7038412

I find it very odd that an ftm has no concept of how big of a role sex hormones play into your personality (among a lot of other things). She WILL change. Can't believe I need to argue this point with someone who I assume transitioned. God damn.. you strike me as someone who is extremely stupid. Enjoy your smoke though.

>>7038455

i'm not saying hormones don't affect people, or change them in ways... everything that happens changes people and affects them... there's still something in there that's the same though, shit you've changed throughout your life (i'd hope so anyway) but you're still you... that's what i was talking about

you just sound really fucking dramatic and hysterical to me if i'm gonna be honest... the way you speak about that situation is just so over the top, i found it ridiculous and clearly we think different things make someone a stranger...

everyone changes... that's just part of life, and even if your partner never transitioned and you just stayed with them for a long time you'd see that they can change and be completely different, but... they'd be the same too

i'm talking to you as someone who has been with someone for 12 years this halloween... who i grew up with and watched change and grow for more than half my life

and i really don't care if you think i'm stupid, i'd rather be stupid than half of what my first impression of you has been...

>tfw getting a green cheek conure
thank you brooklyn for the advice
>>7038455
it's not like your entire personality does a fucking 180

>>7038455

+ i did enjoy my smoke though... thanks

you know your situation all boils down to stay or don't, but don't stay if you aren't committed to the idea that this isn't a phase... or unless you just say you wanna fuck around pre-transition or some shit like that...

nothing wrong with that either...

but don't pretend to be ok with shit that you're not ok with and stay... it should also be up to your partner to decide whether or not they want to stay with someone who feels the way you do

at the very least you should do that if you're even kind of considering having an actual relationship and not just being friends with benefits or some shit...

i might be stupid, but even stupid people are right sometimes and i am about this...

>>7038490

np... when are you getting it? i have pics from her breeder of gypsy before i got her... like she didn't have most of her feathers and shit

what kind of green cheek are you getting? like which colour... i saw a turquoise and a normal one in a store today they were cute as fuck... went to get cuttlebone and stuff for our fish

and a black cap rolling around in its food bowl laughing... they have the same kinda personality as green cheeks

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found a book today... anyone ever read it?

>>7038357
My gay group of high school friends is all(and still is) cis bi girls/lesbians with me being the only ftm and one mtf. Hell, he said that for some people it is a phase, but, treating your partner's dilemma like it is helps fucking know one. Being 18 doesn't mean shit either, I knew I was trans as young as 14.

If you're not attracted to them anymore, break it off. It's fine you don't want to date someone who came out as ftm, and I believe your partner should do whatever it is to make themself happy. Honestly I find it weird you claim to care about them so much and yet you're all but calling them a "genderqueer tumblrite" who's going through a phase.

Just be fucking honest with your partner and save them from having to deal with the overdramatic bullshit you're pulling in this thread.

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>>7038567

+ bunch of shit written in it that i haven't looked at either... i picked it up cuz i wanted to read this part...

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>>7038580

+ i'll probably read the book too, but i'm in the middle of a lot of books...

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I really want long hair. I'm thinking of starting to do natural dreads next month.

>>7037780

Heh. He's taller than me. I'm 5'.

>>7038607
dreads are nice, go for it

>>7038607

you should, but i'm bias i like them...

>>7038455
does your partner know you feel/act like this? holy fucking shit lol

>>7038707
i feel bad for her partner

>>7038455

Why are you being such a cunt? Get outta my house, make your own thread, god damn.

>watching a Mary Pickford movie
>"haha, she's so short and cute"
>suddenly remember I'm pretty much her height

....It's hard noticing you're short.

>>7038749
same, 5'1" here. but, there are cis guys my size so it doesn't bother me too much nowadays.

>>7038737

probably isn't just being one right now...

it's whatever though... this is why i can't even with most lesbians... they're just so... that

idk what the fuck is up with that shit though... i knew this chick like that who would've been so hot if she just shut her fucking mouth...

>>7038772
>wahhh I care about my partner so much except he's a genderqueer tumblrite going through a phase and I'm going to borderline talk shit about him on 4chan where he can't see how much of a cunt I'm being
>comparing HRT to death
wew lad

>>7038796

i got so confused reading that... i'm really high on a couple of things...

>>7038940

+ cuz i had to do more of everything... well not everything... i only had one glass of wine way earlier, breakfast...

>>7038749

i honestly don't care that i'm short... it's not a big deal, i can still do all the shit i want, i can still get laid, and this one time i got a faceful of cute burlesque dancer tits cuz she thought i was "the cutest smallest adult" she'd ever seen and wanted to give me a hug... we were smoking weed together with a bunch of my friends from hs and my s/o outside the bar she worked in... i'm not really a bar person, but i know bar people so i went along...

anyway my point is that it's pretty whatever... doesn't really do much other than help me be more comfortable sleeping in places like cars than other people...

>>7037780
>She's like the Tumblr type that wears chokers and has an undercut
am i the only one in the thread who noticed this
that doesn't mean your partner ISN'T trans, but it implies they might be suffering some kind of confusion, and if they're trans chances are their experiences are not at all comparable to, say, my own (though anyone who managed to put off transition to 18 has experiences not comparable to my own kek)
ftm trendscum are definitely way more common than they should be
but at the same time...yeah, good chance they're ftm, and if it turns out they are and end up on t and stuff i wouldn't recommend breaking up if you want the relationship to continue and still love them
people can change a lot

>>7039335
it was addressed in multiple replies to the original poster's question dude

>>7034926
>Do you do any sort of visual arts? What medium do you mostly use? Are you planning on pursuing it as a career?
yes, drawing and ink, and yes. only sold a few things to my friends and family which is lame. they know I'm hurting for cash and only making part time.
just finished running a 10 mile race and I really want to keep pursuing running and physical fitness but I'm worried about what direction my body will take. still have about 10 lbs of fat to shed though, i couldnt help but eat like shit all day because I was tired and immobile from the run.

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>>7039335
>(though anyone who managed to put off transition to 18 has experiences not comparable to my own kek)
ikr.
Fucking aap/agp trenders.

>>7039460
you act as if everyone has the money/supportive enough family to transition

>>7039548
I was putting myself down through sarcasm. (see the image I posted)

I most likely could have started hrt in my early to mid teens if I had said something about my trans feelings when I first started having them. But alas, I repressed like the coward I am, and I didn't start hrt until I was twenty fucking three.
I'm actually mtf, and the fact that I managed to live as a guy for so long sometimes leads me to question the validity of my own trans-ness, and I guess that other guy's post just gave me the urge to bitch and moan about it.

Sorry. I'll fuck off now.

>>7039636

everyone deals with shit different... doesn't change what you are

and everyone's got different shit going on in their lives... it's stupid to judge shit by things like that...

>>7039335

i acknowledged that in my first response and in other responses... and it's why i used "they" ... i told her that if her partner is trans then it's not like they're with a cis girl, but i acknowledged it could be a phase cuz it is for some people... however being 18 doesn't mean it's a phase...

but banking on it being a phase is stupid... for a couple reasons

one is it's not good to get your hopes up, and the other is that if it isn't a phase treating it as such would be damaging and unhealthy for her partner...

it's better to respect what people tell you than to decide what they must feel and base your actions off of your assumptions about them... especially when what's going on is such heavy shit...

>>7039636
>only felt trans at 14
How had your childhood gone? Late puberty? Or did you just not have words for until then?

t. known since 3 then didn't know trans guys were a thing until teens and then had to delay medically transition until 23 ftm >>7039636

>>7039882

idk that it's anyone here specifically... though idk... people usually either love or hate me... and every so often someone on /lgbt/ gets pretty pissy with me, but not for a bit... unless you count that lesbian just before

but it's probably got nothing to do with anyone specific... and probably not anyone here if it does... that'd be new anyway i think

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>>7039710
Thanks. That actually does make me feel slightly better.

It's frustrating because I feel like I've wasted all of my youth on being this empty shell of a person, and now I've missed out on all these formative experiences that I'll never be able to go back and have. ;~;

I try not to dwell on the past though, because I know that doing so can only make me feel bad.
I just gotta keep pressing on and hope the future can turn out ok.

>>7039805
I first had thoughts of "I wish I were a girl" at like 12 or 13, and found out what trans was at 15, but convinced myself I wasn't actually trans for a variety of stupid reasons.

I guess you could say my puberty was kinda late.
I had like, zero acne until age 18 or so, and then I started to have a bunch of it. I feel like my facial hair took longer to come in than it did for most cis guys, and even at 23, I don't think I could've grown a proper beard if I tried.

>>7039904

glad i helped...

it's all a matter of perspective whether or not you wasted anything you know... not getting what you want can still shape you in ways you can take something good out of... suffering is a part of life you can grow from

like knowing what it's like to feel the way you just described... the empty shell shit... it's made me better able to help other people through feeling that kinda shit... it's affected me in a way where i can be there for people better cuz i've been there and can speak from experience

and other people typically have more potential to get somewhere than i do so it works out...

there's no sense in dwelling on the past, though i'll be honest i'm not much of a future person either... i prefer to try to live in the present and not think too much in either direction if i can help it... the past can't be changed, and the future can't be controlled so i'd rather focus on what's right in front of me...

and you can always have new experiences... tangible ones that will be more worthwhile than the idealized ones you imagine you missed out on...

and you can always make up for some of it.... and in a way it'll mean more cuz you won't take it forgranted... and that's kinda nice in a way even if it comes from a hard place...

>>7039972

I hate... how you type... like this... you fuckin knob...

>>7039990

i hate a lot of things about me too... wanna write a list together?

>>7040009
What's wrong with cuckoldry?

>>7040030

We don't have enough time to write all of those things.

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>>7039990
>newfag dissing based Brooklyn
>in MY FTMG?!
gtfo

>>7039972
>suffering is a part of life you can grow from
True.
atm it's hard for me to see all that time as anything but a waste, but hopefully I do end up growing from it.

>and you can always have new experiences... tangible ones that will be more worthwhile than the idealized ones you imagine you missed out on...
I certainly hope so.

>and you can always make up for some of it.... and in a way it'll mean more cuz you won't take it forgranted... and that's kinda nice in a way even if it comes from a hard place...
Yeah.
If there's anything good that'll come out of my being a tranny, it's the fact that if/when I do manage to pass 100% and look good, I won't take it for granted for a second.

>>7037247
Just two legit ones so far that were paid alright- 200 euros for a black and white sketch is far better than most people do that sell commissions on tumblr and shit like that. But then again, I haven't really put my work online so far, so it's a wonder anyone even contacted me, which is even better motivation that this all might work out if I keep on working on my skills.

>>7039882
we pissed off caraposter by not having sex with him
personally i just hope he kills himself already, maybe if we ask nicole maines if she ever got stalked by a fat asian dude she'll release his dox

>>7040319
there's the pasty white kid picture that's claimed to be him, but he's said since then that he's east asian and 'chubby' (read as 'at least class II obese')
being an asian in maine and fat and a chaser explains a whole lot
i wish i could find him funny but he's generally just a little bitch and i used to make fun of normies who think people will go on mass shootings because mass shootings are great and should be performed as often as possible, but dude is going to shoot up a gender clinic or support group someday

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>>7040367
i'm 18 but when i was 14/15 i hung out with cute hybristophile girls and actual future mass shooters and it made me an edgelord forever

today is 'national coming out today'
bitchy little snowflake girls on my facebook feed are bragging about being 'proof the gender binary isn't real'
please end my life

>>7039882
Awwww he wrote a poem

>>7040610
stop being edgy it's bad for your health

>>7040043

guess you underestimate how much time i have...

>>7040127

it's usually hard to see that kinda thing for a while... when you're in a better place you could probably take more from it...

idk... i've been through a lot of bad shit, but i don't see any reason to look at all of it as only negative when it comes to how it's affected me longterm...

it's important though... learning how to take good shit away from bad experiences i mean... cuz they're unavoidable, and affect people just as deeply as good shit...

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What did you do today, lads? I ate my own bodyweight in apples and now my tummy hurts.

>>7041856
Doctors HATE him!

>>7041856
I had coffee and an orange for breakfast. Now sipping salted caramel tea. Trying to delay eating as long as possible. I also need to do my shot at some point today.

>>7042032
Why are you delaying eating?

>>7041856
worked out and now procrastinating grocery shopping

>>7041856

laid around in bed for a bit with my s/o and gypsy then he made coffee and breakfast, and we chilled in the apartment for a bit before i walked him to work (took gypsy with us cuz it's nice out), got there early so we got coffee from this health food place by his job and some woman working there gave gypsy a carrot... chilled for a bit then came home and started cleaning... trying to get shit done before i burn out completely... especially cuz my s/o wants to go out later...

had a nosebleed earlier too... it's like my body is reinforcing how bad i need to actually stick to my "no heroin for a little bit" goal... it's really tempting though in the sense that like... i can fucking walk around for hours and do shit while on it whereas i'm ready to curl up into a ball and pass out right now and i still haven't finished cleaning...

>>7042032

since when did oranges stop counting as food?

I hate when I can't put the needle in on the first try and I have to poke myself twice. Makes me feel like a wuss.

>>7041856
Apples sound good rn, gonna buy some later maybe, need to buy chicken and green beans anyway.

>>7042032
Go for a walk, maybe? Classes make it easier for me to not eat, since I can avoid food.

>>7042141
Nah man, you aint a wuss. I had my aunt do it for me at first when I was 15 until a few months ago. Doesn't even hurt, I just psych myself.

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Hey ladies!

Just a reminder that you'll never be a real boy.

Prove me wrong.

>>7042383
whatever, as long as you pass to the general eye that's enough

How much money do you think I could make going as a ftm onto chatterbate?

>>7042725
Three fiddy

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I've been passing for a while now. But a guy at work has been telling the newer people I used to be a girl, when they had no idea. My stepdad has been doing the same thing with his friends and coworkers I've met who would have never known.

I try to explain to them to leave out the "used to be a girl" part. They see me as a guy, so why tell them? The guy at work is just dumb. My stepdad can't figure out how he can introduce me as a guy when i dont have a penis. That's an awkward and stupid conversation.

>>7042787
I know these kind of people. Only solution is to cut contact. That's how it worked for me. Good luck.

>>7042787
Your stepdad, does he greet people by shaking their penis?

>>7042818
Probably not, because then he'd have to say "no homo" every time he greets another guy.

>>7042383
I don't care about being a real boy. Your post is pointless.

>>7042787
I think 'ignoring' a problem is terrible but in these situations they just don't stop. I'm 7 years into transitioning, my dad only just now has 'attempted' male pronouns. But he's also one of those people who don't understand how to socialize. If he just met you he'll be happy to 'playfully' threaten to mutilate you or talk about how his thumb is falling off while shoving it your face.

I also have a job where yeah, most people know. They unfortunately know my family. Some coworkers don't. But so far no one has actually hassled me about it aside from some awkward run-ins at the urinal. I can tell who doesn't know because they're happy to talk to me about everything with their dick in their hands. Everyone else, we are very silent.

If my injection sites are itching from subq, would switching to IM help?

>>7041856
A coworker made amazing monkeybread this morning and it gave me the most insane fucking sugar rush, I haven't had that shit since I was like fourteen. It was weird.

Monkeybread had pecans and bacon though, it was ungodly in the best fucking way.

Now I need to draw because Inktober.

>>7043497
If your doctor prescribed subq do subq, you can't just switch randomly it will change the rate your t is absorbed by the body and throw off your hormones.

>>7043497
Could you potentially be allergic to the oil the T is suspended in? I've heard it can be a thing for some guys.

Google sez: https://medium.com/@transitus87/ftm-allergic-reaction-to-injectable-testosterone-1d4ac6c877ac#.9h61binxr

Did you guys have mental changes when you started taking testosterone?

t. cis male

>>7043860
I was worried that I would, but all that's happened on that front so far is that I'm a lot less sad and anxious. Feels good man

tfw you're not sure if you're having your first period in a year or if you broke your plumbing by vibing too hard

>>7043860
i feel much more alive but i still have a long way to go
>>7041856
woke up at 12:30pm
did some exercise and lifting
showered
got yelled at by my ex for pointing out being trendscum at 28 is just embarassing

Makis a transgirl now lads

>>7041856

I have a couple of weeks off work and celebrated by sleeping for 15 hours.

I've made it to 24 without killing myself over my dysphoria but I wish I was dead a lot. Do you guys think I can live the rest of my life with it/I'm a trender or am I fucked and need to transition

>>7045235
You feeling dead connected to dysphoria? If so, then alleviating said dysphoria will probably help.
If you feel you are prone to escapism and just recently starting having trans thoughts then you should think it through very thorougly before doing anything. If it is escapism then it will probably go away if you don't act on it.

If you wish that you were dead a lot how long do you think you would live before coming an hero? If you're going to kys anyway why not try to transition and see if it helps first?

>>7034926
Been drawing and sketching all my life. I mainly work with pencil and paper (or ink pens) but I like digital drawing too. Thinking about perhaps one day becoming a self employed artist if I can ever get gud enough and actually practice, define a brand/think of a good story to write and build a fanbase. Maybe in 10 years I'll be living off my art. I hope so anyways.

>>7045235
>24
well, at least the current state of ftm visibility means even the worst hon-equivalents pass
if you feel like this you are very much not a trender and i recommend transition now before you do something stupid like enter a long term relationship in an attempt at suppressing your feelings

>>7040319
>Kids probably got issues tho
That's a no brainer. He doesn't have any friends, can't make any, hasn't talked to anyone in his school in over a year and comes to lgbt everyday to make very specific shitposts and from what I can tell really hates women. He probably wants to be one too. But yeah, kid's got issues alright.

>>7046361
>He probably wants to be one too
it's worse than that
by his own admission, caraposter wishes he was ftm
i would gladly grant him this wish

Feeling so fucking shitty tonight. I'll never be normal. I'll never feel right. I'll always be fucking lonely.

>>7046369
That's pretty weird, considering he has all these grandiose ideas about how ftms transition to oppress and control men and keep their masculinity in check. Or how there are no real ftms, ftms don't have dysphoria, ftms do it for attention, et cetera.
The more I know about him, the worse and sadder it gets.

>>7046370
If I could, I'd wrap you up in a blanket and spoon you until you feel better. It's ok anon, we all have those days... you're not alone.

>>7042787
This is why you start work stealth if at all possible.

I think about dating ftm lad, any general do and not to do? 6'3, 7" average looking uk working boi here

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>>7046370
If it helps. I love you, dude. You're awesome.

>>7046429
All I can think of that would in general apply to all ftms is gender him correctly. But you already know that so idk man, everyone's different and what one FtM may love, another will hate. Like PIV for an example. Very hit and miss, so it's probably prudent to have a discussion about what you two would get up to together before the fact.
Good luck though. Tell us about him, how'd you meet him?

I'm a British man too but I've only seen a handful of FtMs. Don't know any myself, but I'd love to date one or even just be friends.

>>7046412
I'm trying to get a new job.

>>7046370
No one is normal. Even if we're not cis males, we're still male. Being transgender sucks, but so do other things in life that you just have to accept and make the best of.

>>7046501
Good luck finding a new job.
Unfortunately I've had to out myself to employers in the past due to not having the right ID, so I had to show them birth certificates and proof of name, etc., and one time at work they gave me my pay slip addressed to "Miss [obvious male name] [last name]" but it only happened once and I don't think anyone but me and the manager saw the slip that day. HR should keep it all relatively confidential though, unless they're gossipy bitches.
How did the guy you work with find out?

>>7046501
i hate to be the pedant and come burst your bubble but we're not male, that's kind of the whole idea you know
ftm female to male, meaning we're female.
at least until SRS.
we are men though.

>>7046582
Please kill yourself and be done with. If it helps with your self esteem please back track the thread first.

>>7046501
>>7046435
>>7046399

Thanks. Sorry for whining. I'm gonna try get some sleep.

>>7046617
>kill yourself because i can't handle reality!
sounds like you're the one who needs a self esteem boost desu

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>>7046701
That's nice, Cara. Do pic related.

Hah... I hope I don't get some obscure illness from drinking out of an old cup I haven't used in 15+ years. I cleaned it with soap repeatedly and poured hot water all over it but still.

How do you explain the difference between gender and gender expression? My family doesn't get why I "wanna be a boy" if I like long hair and pastel colors.

>>7046728
well i'm not caraposter, i'm just an ftm keepin it real.
does he actually sometimes post without those pics of cara though? that would be useful to know

>>7046778
Leeds pls go

>mum comes over yesterday
>starts talking to me about how she wants to force an electrolysis on me because "girls shouldn't have body hair"
>mentions "unless you get a sex change, but you haven't said so, so you're still a female"

...How do I stop being a wimp and come out? I have been avoiding this for the past 5+ years. Every time she brings it up I avoid answering or decline her suggestion.

>>7045235

I could never be suicidal. Or at least, I imagine I could never be. People who are suicidal are not in their right mind after all. The closest I got to suicidal was when I realized then nothingness after death and became extremely depressed for like a year. I went into an apathetic state where I didn't see the difference between whether I died tomorrow or in sixty years. I got through it on my own though. I just blocked out the thoughts and avoided all mentions of death for several months (aka only watching Peppa Pig and Nick Jr).

You tried a suicide hotline or a therapist?

>>7046477
I'll be completely honest cause I've posted an add on craigslist that I'm looking for an ftm so that I could appreciate his manliness and make him feel how much of a man he is.

>>7046849
Never come out. It'll be a running joke after a while. You presenting full time male, and she pretending that you're her hairy growly voiced little girl.

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If you had an awkward conversation lasting hours, what would you talk about? I'm going to spend all day tomorrow in a car. With people. Pls help.

I got a pumpkin and I'm not sure what to do with it. Any ideas?

>>7047235
fuck it?

So.... I'm more of a lurker here and reluctant to share my story... But is it normal for a trans to be asexual throughout puberty and only realise they're trans when they're 18/19 years old?

As a kid I never even thought about sexuality, I kinda was a dreamer and though I used to fantasize about being a boy all the time and only had male friends (and since I was young I've almost always been male in my dreams), and dressed like a boy and hated my boobs and when I started menstruating, I never actually realised I'm trans... But then again I didn't even start masturbating until I was 18...
It was only after my mother died that I could finally... see reality for what it is or something. I can't explain it very well. I've been coping with it for years now, but my depression has been keeping me from thinking about transition and now the depression has waned a little I just feel too old (27) and I fear I could never transition because I got the most feminine body ever (huge hourglass figure) and I know it would look shit, and not being able to have a working penis which is a huge fucking deal for me... And I also have had a relationship for years and he wouldn't accept. I always thought I'd try being 'happy enough' as a female, but it gets hard sometimes, been doubting more and more for the past year. Sometimes I think to myself that if my bf would break up I'd do it. But I haven't got the guts for anything. I STILL secretly hope it'll pass.. I fucking hate my life. Shit sorry for the lame rant but I have no one else to talk about this.

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>>7046805
It wasn't me tho, it's just that the ideas that I've posted on here have begun to rub off on people in a big way and are close to becoming /lgbt/ canon. I'd get used to seeing it around a lot from now on.

>>7047664
I just lurk here as well, but just reading these everyday stories (mostly from the coming out thread but here too)... coming out doesn't solve anything by itself. Hell you might even more problems than you ever had, but what counts is how you feel.

There's countless people that repress for years and the second they come out they're glad they did and regret nothing, because at least it's done and the first step to feeling better has been made. Consciously repressing and subconsciously doing it is very different, the first makes you suffer for years whereas the second is much more discreet, like an itch you can't scratch.

Just wanted to say that I haven't heard a single "repressing for years" story that ended well, but you can still make yours better. Sometimes you discover people support you a lot more than you think, and other times you get to see those who just liked the façade you were putting on as long as you don't contradict them.
>Shia LaBeouf just do it vid

>>7041856
I got in a good workout and treated myself to some hot cocoa (basically I just microwaved some chocolate milk) since I got fired today. Tomorrow, I'm going to go to Family Video for their open interviews in hopes of getting a job.

>>7048046
Thank you so much for replying to me, it means a lot. My bf does know about it but I've always said I'd never transition because it would look like shit and Id rather be a 'passable' woman. But that's just not true I know. He says we would still be friends but not sexually. But I dont want to lose him, we have a relationship since I was 16. He helped me cope with my moms death. Also I wonder if the reason I have dyspareunia is that I just have never liked vaginal sex, or my vagina for that matter. It looks gross. Furthermore only my best female friend knows about it. Not even my best friend knows it even though he's a huge sjw. Perhaps thats the reason lol

>>7047235

Pumpkin pie obviously.

>>7047664

The two aren't exclusive. Gender doesn't relate to sexuality. I'm ace and trans.

>>7048270
I meant more like I found out about sex reaaaally late. I came for the first time (first time masturbating as well) when i was almost 19. I used to feel giddy???? about gay porn before though.

I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle. I don't know how to ride but I want to learn. Do any of you guys ride motorcycles?

Do you guys play as guys or girls when given a choice? Personally, I prefer girls. I always hear mtf saying playing as girls is a sign of dysphoria, however I always like writing female characters. I pretty much never play as a boy unless they're the canon protagonist.


>>7048322

Plenty of aces watch or read lewd stuff.

>>7048417
I play as a guy, but I think of it as an extension of myself, not a separate character. So maybe that's the difference.

>>7048417
Always boys

>>7048437

I can't make characters that are literally me. It's weird and not fun. I have tried in The Sims but it's boring. Even my AC characters are just loosely based on me (and use my original name).

>>7047664

i wasn't like that, but i don't find it surprising that someone trans would think they were asexual for a long time... or that someone would be confused... idk... they both sound normal to me...

i know what it's like to go a long time without being able to transition too, but i'd be lying if i told you it ever went away... and i don't look at it like passing or living some normal life where no one knows or can ever tell or any shit like that cuz for some trans people that's not a reality it's just about what makes you comfortable and how you can/wanna live your life... that's not to tell you how you'll pass it varies... and with an hourglass figure, while i don't have one myself i know if you can lift and really work your arms and shoulders to disguise and that working your obliques would make a big difference...

with the relationship thing i can't relate... my s/o knows and had a minute where it was a bit weird cuz he prefers girls but he never thought about leaving or said it would change our sex life... we've been together since we were in hs and were friends longer so i know what it's like to be in a longterm relationship, but not with someone who would leave and he's always said he thinks i'd be attractive to him either way... so i'm not sure what to tell you there

but i don't think it's possible to be someone else for another person, and i don't think relationships have to stay the way they are in order to be fulfilling... and you should think about that... you might be happier being his friend while also being somewhat more comfortable in your own body... and it's not like changing the sexual aspect of your relationship would change everything between you in the years you've been together...

i can tell you that even with a fulfilling relationship with someone accepting i tried to hang myself over dysphoria (unable to deal with it cuz of circumstance +other medical issues to sort through and manage first if i can get to it entirely at all)

I can't tell anymore if I wanna live as a guy or if I could handle being a butch woman. Why must gender be so confusing? I'm probably gonna need to go back to my "gender experimentation" stage.

>>7048515

+ and i can tell you that it's never made that part of my life better cuz it doesn't fulfill the same need and it's just... being trans and experiencing dysphoria is part of you...

i wanted to say more, but i drank cuz it's day 2 of my break from heroin to avoid physical withdrawal... and it wasn't the best choice really...

you got a lot of thinking to do anyway though... can't do it for you...

>>7048270

you can't make pumpkin pie that tastes good with just any kinda pumpkin... if it's one meant for carving it won't taste good...

>>7048542
It was a pie pumpkin. I ended up roasting the seeds and they were really good. The hollowed out pumpkin is in my fridge.

>>7048550

oh... well in that case you can use the rest for something like tempura, soup, beans, or pie... cookies... pumpkin butter...

>>7048556

+ a lot of shit really... ravioli... homemade ravioli is pretty easy really, especially if you're not allergic to shit cuz then the dough is even easier...

>>7048538
Thanks for the replies! I appreciate it. You said some true things there. Anyway the goal for now is to lose the weight ive been gaining bc of my depression and bulk up again. I figured that after that my body will atleast feel more like me and Ill reconsider. But if it doesnt make it better ill take the first step. Gosh this sounds like good ol postponing does it.

Good luck with the withdrawal and keeping off the heroin! I know all about addictions. But good luck :)

>>7048561

+ i need to go curl up and die in a corner now though, i can feel the alcohol in my jaw/ears... i wish i could just take heroin every day without any issues

Man, sometimes I wanna get drunk. But I'm still a few months shy of the legal age in my area for drinking (21), probably wouldn't be able to drink any alcohol (I tried some whisky and bacardi, they're putrid), and hang overs sound awful, I'd rather box till I'm exhausted or just lie in bed and be dysphoric.

>>7048565

i'm keeping off it a few days to avoid physical withdrawal i'm not experiencing it... everything hurts cuz chronic illness and i shouldn't have drank (the alcohol is messing with my jaw and ears), but i drank cuz i finished all my weed earlier...

i fully intend to go right back to taking heroin after a week, or 3 days at least... i just needed a second... i took it several times a day for a few days in a short span of time... and i've been taking opiates on/off since i was 15 so i know how easy it is for me to take them too frequently and so on...

some people need time to sort through shit, it's ok if you do, but you're not gonna be any happier the longer you wait if the issue is dysphoria...

>>7048598

i've been drinking since i was 13 and the legal age in nyc is 21...

>>7048608

Plenty of people drink when they're kids or just under the legal age. I don't agree with that though so I don't do it.

>>7048624

lol, you know the 21 thing is totally arbitrary right? It's just a misguided attempt to curb drink driving, has nothing to do with plain old drinking. The rest of the world think America is insane for setting it so high.

>>7048624

so in a few months you'll be so different that drinking will be different when you do it? i never got that logic...

not saying 13 year olds should drink, but... i am saying obeying a law when it makes no sense just cuz it's a law is senseless as far as i'm concerned...

gotta go pass out though...

>>7048598
I drank heavily from 18 until just recently. It can be good for socializing, but not much good can come of getting drunk alone. Box or do something else constructive instead.

>>7048636

I am just into following the law. It's 21 so I'll wait until I am 21. Alcohol isn't that important to me that I need to drink it beforehand. Tbqh, I don't get why it's 21 and not 20. I can get it being 19 or 20 (most people are out of high school by 19 so there's little issue with drunk high schoolers) but 21 seems weird... I would try to get my kids to avoid alcohol until adulthood but if they must experiment, then do it under my house under my supervision.

>>7048657

plenty of good shit has come from someone drinking alone... novels, paintings, songs...

>>7048643
The law is not intended for some individuals who perhaps have a good judgment, but to lower the accidents and coma drinking and alcohol abuse for teenagers.

>>7048668
Well I have nothing to show for it, and neither do most alcoholics.

>>7048672

and it doesn't actually do shit cuz i've been in plenty of cars with people who were on pills and drinking of all ages... and makes people who wait 'til they're 21 more likely to end up binge drinking and dying of alcohol poisoning (look that shit up higher in places with higher drinking ages) than if they were introduced to alcohol earlier

that law is stupid, and obeying laws simply cuz they're laws is crazy to me...

I feel like my teeth are screwed up. I have a receding gumline in my 20s. That sucks.

>>7048668

I can't imagine writing drunk.

>>7048598
In my experience, being drunk doesn't make any depression go away, if that's what your after. Plus it's expensive, gross, and can make you feel shitty afterwards.

Question for those who have experienced dissociation and taking T. Did it go away when you went on T? Did it get better or worse? I am probably putting entirely too much hope in T to make this better.
Shit, this dissociation has gotten real bad since I moved. I am now convinced that I am just reliving the memory of my life and have no free will. Nothing feels real.
I should really call that psychiatrist, I need professional help for this.

>>7049763
I'd write a longer response if I had time, but basically it took me about 6 months after starting hormones to get treatment. I've had really bad anxiety since I was little and stopped focusing on treatment it in lieu of gender bullshit. I don't tend to think of T that treats my mental illness, but it does help w the dsyphoria. I hate therapists and pharma so much it sucks.

>>7048681

to be fair... you could just say the same about most people and being alive in general... with or without alcohol most people don't ever do anything particularly noteworthy

alcohol saved my life once (apparently) so i can't say the same...

>>7049116

it can make depression go away for a bit while you're drinking, but it can make it worse too... depends on where you're at, who you're around, and what you're doing...

it's only expensive depending on what you buy, and if you feel sick unless something is wrong (physical illness) then you drank too much and probably didn't have enough water... both of which are avoidable

it sounds like you just don't care for alcohol personally... but sometimes it's a necessary break from your daily life or leads to a good time, which actually does help depression... and since it can be social, you can easily do shit like meet new people... having friends can also help with depression

>>7048689

making* fucked all this up really, my bad, what i was gonna say is it doesn't prevent a lot of drunk driving and places with higher drinking ages tend to have a higher amount of deaths from binge drinking and alcohol poisoning...

>>7048747

it's alright... prefer doing it high personally, or both at least...

but it's still true that when it comes to creative shit a lot of good things have been made by drug addicts and alcoholics...

Got my illegally-imported narcolepsy medication, didn't have to nap at all yesterday (2-4 a day is normal for me) and I felt like a living human being instead of a drowsy struggling zombie all day. If it's still working well enough to keep me awake for more than 5-6 hours at a time in a week, I'll be set to go get a desk job at the place my roommate works lol. Pretty excited, because I love money.

Fucking modafinil's giving me a goddamn dehydration headache though. Small bladder + drinking a ton more than usual cuz of meds is not a fun combo.

>>7048337
You'll need a seperate license for a motorcycle, depending on where you are. I don't have one personally, but I'm hoping to get one when I move out.

>>7048417
Like in TTGs? I always play as a male, not for any specific reasons, just don't see any difference between playing male or female.

>>7049763
It went away while I was on T, but I was taking Geodon along side it. Hrt will help depression or anxiety at most, probably.

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>>7050558
Your narcolepsy is diagnosed right? Can't you get proper prescriptions?

>>7048337
Motorcycles are pure freedom. The main problem with starting up is getting the right bike and not burning too much money on lessons.

First: when getting the right bike you should go for a stable bike with low weightpoint and low seat. This assuming you're a manlet and that your upper body strength hasn't caught up properly yet. The low seat is very helpful for short people, and a low weightpoint will make it a lot easier to get the bike back up if it tips or if you fall.

You also need to consider what kind of bike you want. The cheapest are the japanese speed machines, and those are great for frolicking around town, but if you want to do roadtrips you should invest in a roadster or a touring bike. A bit more expensive, but your posture will be better for your back and the seat and stability will be better for your ass. A speed machine will make your ass hurt like hell after an hour or two.

Second: lessons. Since you can't practice drive with your parents (this depends on your country and all, so check it out) it can get expensive because you might have to take more lessons with a driver's teacher. If you contact some local motorcycle clubs (mom and dad clubs, not badboy faggots) they will most likely help you out with practice driving for free.

>put on the news
>newborn baby dead, random people attacked for no reason, blah blah

And people wonder why I'm a scaredy cat about everything. It's only slightly less scary when you're post-T.

>>7049116

I don't drink but depression obviously can't be fixed with alcohol. It's related to hormones and other stuff. Alcohol just masks it.

>>7050933

why would newborns being born dead make the world scary for you? you're way past the point of that being a concern...

>>7050558

glad your imported narcolepsy drugs are working for you... are you just not tired and you feel normal otherwise or what?

>>7050933
>>7051000

hmmm... maybe i read that wrong, but still... there's no reason to be terrified of everything cuz everything isn't likely to happen to you... and even the shit that's reasonable to be scared of (on some level) isn't reasonable to be scared of constantly...

the world can be scary, but there's plenty of shit about it that isn't and generally (at least in my experience) most people are pretty decent and not looking to do anything particularly shitty...

and i don't see why being pre or post t somehow affects that... if anything being seen as a chick would make you more likely to get help if you were being attacked or some shit... just saying

>>7050910
thank you anon this is helpful info

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>>7051058
Np. Oh and btw check how the handlebars feel before you buy a bike in case you have shorter arms than cis guys. Always test sit a bike before buying, and check how it feels. If you'er going to spend hours on that darling, it needs to sit right.

sorry if this stokes an old or sore fire and i'll delete this if it bothers anyone, but:

wut's you guys' stance of people who identify as lesbians but date transmen?

>>7051000

The baby died because her mom pushed her through an elevator, and the elevator wasn't there. That's one of my biggest fears. Elevators freak me out nowadays. I always get scared that it'll crash or it just won't appear and I won't notice.

>>7051046

My parents raised me to be paranoid about everything. The world is dangerous. Watching the news doesn't help. It only seems safe to walk in groups, but even then there's a danger.

>>7051351

It's weird but, hey, if you love someone you love someone.

>tfw almost 21

You need to see gynecologists at 21 if you're a virgin, iirc. That freaks me out though. It's so... Ugh. I don't mind nudity and doctors are doctors, but it's still so embarrassing and weird.

>>7051351
Specifically dating women and transmen only is a bit weird. Or rather very weird. If other guys don't mind it then I guess that's their thing but I was a bit offended when a lesbian girl I know said she'd date me no problem, after repeatedly saying she's not into (cis) men. Entering a relationship with someone and only then having them come out and transition is whatever though. I'm in a similar situation atm myself.

>>7051391
I can top that. One of my best friends tell me we're made for each other and she's angry at me for not being born 'a proper man'. Then she wants my sympathy for that 'tfw no bf'. Yeah...

>>7051429
Damn, that really sucks. I've had people tell me I'm not a "proper man" either, doesn't feel good at all. I can imagine that if a good friend says that, it's probably even more unpleasant.

>>7051376

how would you just not notice? + the likelihood of them failing isn't that bad and if i remember right more people die on stairs and i bet you use those so...

i get being raised to fear everything cuz my mother is scared of damn near everything, runs through constant worst case scenarios for every possible situation, gets anxious over everything, everything is dangerous or a problem and so on... but i've always just found that shit kinda illogical and annoying... cuz that's just not how life works, your fears don't always come true and the worst case scenario isn't the one that's definitely gonna happen... and even if you wanna go by statistics there's no way of applying them on an individual level so whether they're in your favour or not it doesn't necessarily mean fuckall...

and sure the world can be dangerous, but not always and it's not like you can avoid all possible issues by staying inside and never doing anything... being scared of everything at all times is unreasonable + even if a situation looks bad there's possible ways out of it... you gotta assess shit properly instead of being afraid of everything... every individual situation is different, and there's plenty of possibilities... but not all of them are gonna be negative, and shit more often than not you're likely to be fine

i've slept out on the street and shit before, taken trains by myself at night, gone for long walks at like 3am in alleys, accidentally (while shitfaced) gotten into cars that ended up not being car service of cabs (every so often someone will just kinda fake it for a couple bucks) and only realizing it after etc and so far so good

are you also afraid of all the dangers of being inside? crazy shit like space debris falling out of the sky and killing you, your house collapsing, electrical fires, natural disasters, home invasions, etc

being afraid of everything is a waste of time

>>7051429
I would ditch that 'friend' desu. Inconsiderate hoe

>>7051388

>You need to see gynecologists at 21 if you're a virgin, iirc

Wait... why?

Is this with reference to cis women in general or is this some specific "trans troubles" thing?

>>7051351

i'd fuck one for science... never been with a lesbian, they nearly always hate me (which is bullshit btw i've seen plenty of lesbians idk why any of them pretend to have standards when 85% of them are nasty as fuck... i don't think i'm anything special, but you don't need to be to be an improvement) or there's a mutual lack of interest + straight girls suck at oral sex when you're a transguy... i don't give a shit about someone's thoughts or feelings on that shit when it comes to sex...

i don't really care about people like that and what they wanna do though... or about who's actually gonna date them... could just be that they like transguys in theory or one of those weird need to hold onto their identity kinda deals where they've defined themselves by being a lesbian for a long time and can't think of themselves another way regardless... or you know they don't see transguys as guys and that's whatever, it happens... none of that is my problem though

>>7052034
>straight girls suck at oral
desu I'd probably take that over nothing if I were you, I can't have anyone going near there with their mouth cause it gives me nasty infections every time

>>7052082
ffs, always forget about that filter

>>7052082

yeah it's better than nothing, but that doesn't change the fact that i'd be very curious about fucking around with a slutty lesbian...

>>7052090

i usually remember it, but only cuz it got me constantly that first week...

>>7050910
Yes, my narcolepsy is diagnosed by a neurologist, but to get it diagnosed "on paper"/to insurance I need a sleep study, which is around $3700+ and would have to come out of pocket, as I don't make enough for nice insurance and will be on state insurance. That same neurologist prescribed me armodafinil, gave me a 2 week sample, it worked well but insurance wouldn't cover the meds and out of pocket that shit is too expensive. Just checked through goodrx, and generics of armodafinil for the mg I need is $254/mo at one place WITH the discount card, and modafinil is $94/mo. I paid $185 for 200 pills online, which is almost 2/3 of a year's worth, so instead of paying around $1200/yr after tax, I'm hitting about $394/yr and also giving a huge middle finger to Nuvigil and Provigil (brand name, both over $600/mo) for being money-hungry pieces of shit preying on people with sleep disorders who already tend to struggle keeping their jobs.

>>7051004
I don't feel like I'm walking around barely treading water consciousness-wise, I don't feel mentally in a thick fog more often than not (which has only paved the way for my autistic ass to be distractable as shit again, just like before my narcolepsy developed in middle school), I haven't gotten any narcoleptic attacks where I start falling into microsleeps sitting/standing up, I can sit in a car/not in front of a bright LCD screen without falling asleep within five minutes, etc.

I get startled easily now, though. I jump every time my phone goes off.

>>7052513

that's great, i'm glad that shit worked out for you... especially considering how fucked you were before that with everything

it's bullshit that you gotta order drugs from other places and shit like that just to get something that works so you can function though...

narcolepsy sounds like taking a lot of h and just kinda nodding off here and there constantly... i took like 5 mini naps sitting on the floor with my guitar the other day... and even like standing and walking there's like this... point where you're out but not entirely... it's probably a bit different, but the way you describe it is all i can compare it too... except the brain fog... i get that with the fatigue shit, but h is a surprisingly clear headed high... but with my health issues i get the sleepy (like i haven't slept in days) my brain doesn't wanna function cuz it's in permanent tired mode kinda shit often enough... so i know what that's like well enough unfortunately

getting any negative effects or has it all just been positive?

>>7052566

the way you describe it h is all i can compare it to* my bad...

>>7052575

+ negative other than the getting startled easy thing i mean... that shit sounds a little annoying, but i imagine it chills out... sounds like the kinda thing you'd get more used to anyway...

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I got my letter for T today, I've waited several years for this, it's such a relief having this single sheet of paper in my hands finally.

>>7052925
GRATS MAN

>>7052566
The thing about the modafinil is that it dehydrates you like a motherfucker, and if you let it do that it's known to them cause mad migraines... which I experienced earlier this morning because I was so excited to not feel physically dead for once that it slipped my mind til it was too late. Been drinking water a ton since then, doing fine. Other than that and the serious distractability, there's a serious appetite loss, but having disordered eating means I'm already good at just getting up and eating regardless of my hunger if it's been too long since my last meal. And I already get flashes of vertigo/dizziness here and there from my Zoloft, so whether the moda is contributing isn't clear.

I only hope the effects stay this good when my body is done adjusting to the meds. Luckily, using modafinil for extended amounts of time doesn't cause a tolerance build-up like Adderall and other meds for it. I want to keep being able to feel like a fucking real human being (PTSD-sourced dissociation notwithstanding)

>>7053111

depending on what i'm feeling like i forget whether i've eaten or had anything to drink often, or i get up to do it and then i forget to actually do it... and then forget all about that... i actually need to be really careful about that... my s/o reminds me or just gives me things and is like "eat this" or "you need to drink"

that's mostly on really bad days though...

i understand getting caught up in that sensation not with what you're taking obviously... but like with opiates i always get caught up in not being in pain and being able to do shit...

but more like a... gotta remind myself to be careful with them kinda issue... easy to forget when something feels good... which is exactly why i wouldn't tell anyone to ever do it...

but yeah... at least you eating balances it out... i can't eat when i have no appetite personally... like i just can't even...

zoloft was probably the worst thing i ever put in my body... i know it works for some people... took it by accident once though (i've had doctors suggest it to me, but after that experience just... nah) and i spent 3 days with every bad side effect feeling crazy and it was the first time i ever felt suicidal cuz i thought about killing myself just to stop feeling that... i was coming down from pcp and wanted to be higher and there was zoloft and xanax the bottles were next to each other and my s/o was insisting they were xanax... kept telling him they didn't look like xanax cuz i'd taken plenty of xanax, more than him i think... but he was insistent and i just figured fuck it and maybe i was just too high to remember right... and then yeah... i was right, it wasn't xanax...

i've taken a fair amount of shit, but nothing scared me more...

it probably is contributing for you though... if it's dehydrating you then it's likely

i get wanting to feel like that, human, i barely do anymore with being sick all the time... i hope it works for you though, especially cuz no tolerance build up

>>7051351
lesbians who date transmen are absolute disgusting

that said I agree with brooklyn in that I'd fuck a lesbian if they wanted it but just for the sex

>>7051388
You don't really need a gyno unless you think something's wrong or if you're sleeping around. If you have insurance that covers it, it would be in your best interest to get a pap smear but if not don't bother. The only real preventative thing you need to do is squish around your tits every month or so to make sure you don't have cancer.

>>7052513
It sounds like you got a real deal with those backalley drugs, lol. I'm glad they're working for you.

>>7053980
Yeah, fucking honestly. Let's hope they keep working because my dealer is fucking amazing and I wanna keep supporting him. He only deals modafinil and armodafinil but from what I've read both are non-addictive godsends for college students and such where focusing hard enough is a big obstacle, so he gets pleeeenty of business lol

>>7053709
I started Zoloft (generic sertraline tho) at 50 mg/day, and the first week I blacked out, heard voices several times, got dizzy when standing, couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried, hallucinated one night/got paranoid delusions that something was in the room with me in the dark, and I was constantly clenching my jaw so hard I thought my teeth would crack and my jaw ached constantly. Now that I've been on it five months, it's really evened out a lot, thank god, but there's still some side effects here and there.

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>>7050558
I'm really happy i read this. I have Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, which sounds like the most generic and stupid excuse for being sleepy all the time. But it's a real thing that has been making my life miserable for years. I've fixed my diet, i exercise, i sleep right. I've done everything to fix it, but nothing whatsoever has helped. I actually didn't think there were medications for it. But i looked up what you're taking and it can be used to EDS too. I need to try it.

Since it's a stimulant though, i wonder if it will make me feel crappy. I have extreme general anxiety and I'm even sensitive to caffeine, so i don't know.

>>7055182
>extreme general anxiety
>taking stimulants
you're going to regret it

>>7054675

i'd ask how you could stand taking it for so long with that shit going on, but honestly a good deal of your experience with it sounds like a lot of what i've felt taking pcp... not always, but other than jaw clenching (i'd get twitches sometimes though), and the lack of sleep... that's a lot like regular pcp use, some of the effects anyway, there were others i really enjoyed...

but nah zoloft i was actually hurting myself, the only thing that cut through that numbness was pain... found it out by accident, then spent 3 days hurting myself to keep from killing myself... any longer than that and i probably would've lost my shit completely cuz the only reason i didn't off myself was cuz i looked up the half life so i had an idea of how long i needed to hold out for...

nothing would be worth feeling what i did from it for longer...

are you happy you've stuck with it though? has it improved anything for you?

>>7055182

if you're sensitive to caffeine avoid stronger stimulants... i'm sensitive to caffeine too (i have a level of built up tolerance and can have some now) like it can make me anxious and i've had panic attacks and shit... and honestly anything stronger than that and i'm a fucking wreck... i wouldn't take a stimulant even with the promise of good side effects cuz of it... but at the same time if you look up how long the drug lasts and think it's worth a try to fix how you feel otherwise i don't see a reason to avoid trying it... worst case scenario is it sucks and you hate it, best case is you find something that works for your shit...

i personally wouldn't bother with it, but i wouldn't tell anyone to deal with it the way i do either so it might be worth a shot... cuz like i said worst case scenario is you hate it, and gotta remind yourself you took something and what you're feeling will end in x amount of time so everything's gonna be ok...

>>7037780
Well she should see a therapist and figure it out by herself, if she's actually a transman nothing you tell her will make her change her mind. Be clear about the fact you don't date men, but give her time to figure it out. There's a chance it's just a phase, or some kind of trend, looking at those friends who just look like fat women and don't take T.

Also, about the beard, I'm over 2 years on T and I barely grow any, and I'm 5'6-5'7 (5'8-5'9 in shoes) and it's already pretty depressing t b h but then again if it's really transsexuality then even being a feminine manlet will be better than being a tomboy girl. But, on other hand, I'm pretty sure some lesbians would still find me hot, at least the ones who are into tomboys (I mean, the only really masculine thing about me is my voice, and behavior to a certain extent and I don't mean using male pronouns), so maybe you'll still find her (or rather him) hot later?

>>7047664
Sounds like a similar story to mine. Started transitioning at 20, I pass as a (feminine) guy easily but I have pretty androgynous build
You sound like you're trans. I wouldn't wait for it to pass anymore, chances are you'll grow facial hair or build muscle (if you exercise) quickly and will pass - not as a very attractive guy but I swear to god it feels better than being read as a female all the time. It may ease your genital dysphoria too, when you pass as a guy you forget you don't have a dick sometimes.

>>7055182
Oh man, we're basically brothers then. Narcolepsy is really similar to EDS, except N is also compared to epilepsy and sometimes to get a narcoleptic person disability it's filed as "non-convulsive epilepsy" which sounds about right desu.

I have serious anxiety, but between Zoloft and self-help it's been manageable. If you're interested in modafinil, I'd look into the chemical effects of it more closely-- it's a stimulant, but it does vastly different stuff to the brain than Adderall or Ritalin. And if you end up wanting to buy some, I got mine from RxReX. He has a subreddit and that gives links to his page on littlebiggy. LB looks REALLY sketch cuz it's a site for a lot of illegal shit like this (mostly weed and stimulants desu) but it all went through fine. I paid with bitcoin for a discount tho so my CC info never touched the site.

>>7055264
The scarier shit only lasted two-ish weeks, but the dizziness/vertigo flashes (esp if I forgot to take it for half a day or longer) have persisted here and there. Seems to pop up randomly, but more often when my health is on the descent.

Zoloft is the first antidepressant I've ever taken so I don't have a frame of reference, but I don't constantly feel like "I want to fucking die/kms" over trivial shit. It's been helping some of my BPD symptoms too, and it feels like the moda's helping a bit too. I'm lucky that my first scrip happened to work well for me, though I've been upped to 100mg/day since because brain shit. I'm grateful that moda and sertraline don't have any drug interactions or I'd be fucked lol. I believe sertraline and Adderall do, though.

Glad you pushed through that shitty reaction to Zoloft, though. And I'm really not surprised that a ton of shit is similar to different illegal drugs-- let's be real, seeing some of the side-effects of pharmaceutical drugs makes me question how certain others are illegal altogether instead of just government-controlled for medical use.

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Anyone here like to read? What books do you recommend?

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>>7055723
Yo if you like fantasy or things like Master and Commander, you should hit up the Temeraire series, or as I think of it, Napoleanic British Naval Dragons. Basically it's the war against Napolean but with dragon air forces. And it turns into kind of a beautiful historical rewrite of international politics of the time. It's by Naomi Novik and the series just recently put out its last book.

I tend to read more fantasy and scifi and cozy entertainment tier books, but I've been listening to a lot of biography audiobooks lately. My library works with this OverDrive app to allow for ebook checkouts, it's pretty fucking legit.

>>7055631

i hope it levels off more for you... i get that kinda shit a lot just from what i have and it sucks...

oh... i guess for me feeling like i wanna die is more pain related or really fucked circumstance related + being aware of my limitations and whatnot... but i figure i'll stick around for a bit and see what happens so it can take a lot to really get me there... except like really excruciating pain when it lasts all day that shit makes me consider it pretty fucking quick...

i only pushed through it cuz i knew from taking pcp that shitty highs ended + i looked up the negative side effects, half life, worked it all out and knew when i'd feel better... but that shit was fucked... and yeah of course they have shit in common... actually if i remember right pcp was originally intended for medical use...

>>7055723

i do... reading hopscotch and the brothers karamazov right now... idk what you like but some of my favourite books are almost transparent blue, memoirs of my nervous illness, and the obscene bird of night... my favourite is the little prince though... also liked choke, notes from underground, less than zero, cat's cradle, ender's game (the book and the short story both have their good points), the thief of always (it might be hard to find it's a young adult book written by clive barker and i think the actual novel is out of print and i've seen people bitch about the graphic novel version... i read it as a kid then reread it to my s/o like... a decade ago probably in our first apartment)

lot of shit... i read less now than i used to, when i was a kid i'd read through multiple books a day though...

and since we've talked before and i think you might appreciate some of these:

tesla's my inventions was a pretty good book too... and michio kaku's parallel worlds was interesting too... and richard dawkins' an ancestor's tale is an interesting biology book...

also read to kill a mockingbird recently never did as a kid, that was good

>>7055995

memoirs of my nervous illness is an autobiography written by a schizophrenic man... idk if there's an audiobook though... i don't read much nonfiction, but i've liked what i've read of chuck klosterman's and david sedaris' books... frank mccourt though i only ever started angela's ashes and 'tis... misplaced them, forgot about it and read other shit instead

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>>7055995
I don't read much fantasy but if it's like Master in Commander it might be worth a look. Naval action and dragons sounds like a good combo. Any biographies to recommend?

>>7056004
The little Prince is apparently the fourth most translated book in the world. I've never heard of it for some reason. When did you read it and when did it become your favorite?

>>7056503

didn't know it was, i've actually been on/off learning french to read it in its original language... when i was a kid a 6th grade teacher read it to the class, but i missed a lot of school for various reasons... and never got to hear the end of it, but i had liked what i heard of it...

when i was a teenager i decided to read it and finish it cuz i hadn't forgotten about it and it bothered me that i never finished it... so i did... but i've read it probably more than any other book i've ever owned...

i've read it to my s/o multiple times (it's his favourite book too actually) + on my own... it's got a lot of really great philosophical ideas in a story that really anyone can read and understand... and it's actually interesting to read the background of it cuz of the way it ties in with the author's life...

>tfw beard filling in with mature hairs
Only took 6 years to get something other than some chin fuzz and a crustache.
>tfw doesn't matter anyway since you're blonde as fuck

Man, I feel so miserable and dysphoric today. I just wanna go and sleep for a week. Dreams are so much better than rl and nothing bugs you... Ugh.

I was gonna write my parents a coming out letter but it feels useless. They won't understand. I should just stay closeted until I move out.

>>7051698

Educate yourself. Everything medical I have read about health says you should start seeing a gync yearly when: a. You become sexually active or b. You turn 21.

I don't plan on ever having sex, and if I did it wouldn't be penatrive, but doctors advise it...

>>7055723

/lit/ is garbage, fyi. They only like stuffy boring crap from 200 years ago.

>>7055723
If you like fantasy and don't mind long stuff, Robin Hobb's Realm of the Elderings series is one of my all time favorites. Dragons and telepathy magic and political intrigue out the wazoo. Also have a Trans/gender-nonconforming character whose actual gender is never really confirmed - they go by male pronouns in some of the books and female pronouns in others.

I also really like the Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey. Fanstasy, magic telepathic horses that aren't actually horses, griffins, and more political intrigue. A smattering of gay characters throughout the books, most notably Vanyel (although his trilogy is a TRAGEDY through which I cried) and his descendant Firesong.

For fun and easy reads, Robert Asprin's Myth and M.Y.T.H. ink are a good set, some of the later books are kind of blah, but all of the early stuff is good and funny. Lots of magic, lots of puns, one of my favorite and most plot convenient magic systems in a fantasy series.

For a series that's marketed as 'erotic fantasy' in the states, and just plain old fantasy in Australia, I fucking loved Captive Prince by CS Pacat. Stylistically it reads a lot like good fanfiction. A prince is dethroned and secretly sold as a sex slave to another prince, whose brother he killed years ago. It has less sex in it than you're probably thinking, and about ten truck loads of convulted, tangled, political machinations. What can I say, I love fantasy world politics. No magic in this one, but it's got cool fight scenes regaurdless.

(cont 1/2)

>>7055723
>>7056812
In the young adult section, Maggie Stiefvater's The Raven Cycle was really enjoyable. You can probably guess: more fantasy, and we're back to psychic-ish magic. This author has a way with descriptions and words that I can really can only describe as blunt poetry. I love it. I was torn between reading them as fast as possible, and wanting to go through it with a highlighter for all the excellent turns of phrase. Psychics, dead welsh kings, ominous ravens, stealing things out of dreams, and those characters pinging on your gaydar in the first book are confirmed gay by the last book.

CURRENTLY I'm reading the Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling. Theives, assassins, elves, magic, political intrigue. First book is a good fun romp, the next four books get darker and darker until it's really almost torture porn. I'm a bit burnt out on them, to be honest. Main character A Saragil is clearly gay from the beginning, Main Character B Alec figures it out later.

This is the stuff I can think of off the top of my head, I can pull out more recs if anyone has similar taste in books and wants them.

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>>7056586
I think I'm gonna read this. Definitely.

>>7056704
What compelled you to write in salt?

>>7056812
>>7056818
You sound pretty immersed in the fantasy genre. Thanks for the tips. I'll definitely check them out. What is a good starting book/series for a fantasy noob?

>>7056967

/lit/ never wants to talk about anything popular or even modern. They have some of the highest standards on this site. It's like if /a/ refused to talk about 80% of all anime and just spent all deconstructing Evangelion.

>>7056967

yeah you should

it's a short book and the art is actually extremely fitting... i've seen people bitch about its illustrations (as a reason to not pick it up) without reading it so i felt like i should point out that they're actually perfect with the book... so between the length (about 70 pages or so technically it's novella length) and the pics it's a really quick read...

i had my little bro read it a couple years back cuz he never got around to it, and he actually buys copies of it for kids in his classes who are into reading as gifts now...

>>7057039

i've had some alright discussions on /lit/ about books and writing... idk... some of it's garbage, but that's true of everything...

>>7057039
It's not entirely true though. Sure there is a huge sad group of lit douches who 'apparently' objectively enjoy oooold lit crap like the boring Russians or Finnegan's wake or Atlas shrugged or Catch22 and yell 'start with the greeks' and think that's genuinely funny and own Goodreads accounts where they 'read' 10 books a day and they for some reason have blogs full of lame porn images which they try to force on you if you just want to chat. And then there's me. And I read just about anything and I won't judge so just spill out when you're on lit! :)

(also remember most of lit is extremely ugly and cringeworthy and virgin as fuuuuck)

>>7056640
I like blonde beards! :3

>finally finish a commission
feels good bruh
time to go catch up on inktober

>>7057589

eh... i liked catch 22... it was a good book, but i can see why someone wouldn't like it... i thought it was funny though, and i liked the characters... whenever i'm bored and time is dragging i think about dunbar in the hospital saying boredom makes you live longer...

and i like russian classic lit... i liked notes from underground, my s/o hated it and i can see why... but that doesn't really change my opinion

never read atlas shrugged, i read half of the fountainhead and it really could've used less pages...

i also like nietzsche cuz in between pure retard madness he said some really great shit... there's beautiful sentences wedged in between raving madness and i appreciate them cuz they're good...

only read some euripedes though...

but i also don't give a shit what someone else reads, and i'll read anything if i'm bored enough and it's there... i've read real estate manuals before, court cases, weird crazy self help books and single chick books my s/o's mom would by, religious texts... just fucking whatever...

i guess that's why i can get along with them, but i don't even really give a shit... i don't think the way someone spends their time or what they read...

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Is there a way I can experiment with crossdressing without feeling like an ugly slob?

There's so many cute halloween outfits I wanna wear and show off on omegle

>>7058009
All you have to do is practice being good at makeup and then it doesn't matter how much of an ugly sad sonofabitch you are because makeup can fix just about everything

How to get rid of pimples in your ass and back? Hillary swank did not die for this.

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>>7058511
This stuff is amazing for body acne. Just be sure to clean your tub often since it leaves a gross grey residue on the tiles and sides of the tub.

>>7058655
Thanx m8 I will try it

Got some time off work, should be living it up but of course I've kicked it off with fucking shark week. Can't muster the will to do anything but lie in bed, watching the precious time slip away and reminding myself it won't feel this way forever.

Seriously though, this is some bullshit, what kind of successful species would evolve to have the weaker, incubating sex bleed out every month and pray it doesn't attract predators in a weakened state? How did humans get this far?

>>7058910

by being social...

my first day too i've dealt with it by smoking a lot of weed + taking a muscle relaxer and heroin... been wandering around...

I wish more of you would post pics.

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raccoon i saw at the park... ended up in a diner...

>>7059125

why? i mean i like seeing people i talk to but it's whatever... everyone's seen me though

>>7059125

Chaser please.

>>7058009

I wish I had the guts to crossdress but I can't. I don't wanna get all dolled up and look like a girl, I just wanna wear clothes that happens to be female. Alas that's not socially acceptable unless you're a cute 5 year old who wants to wear a dress.

I went to get a haircut today and I passed! I have a sweet undercut now.

are there any timelines for how dick/clit growth on t progresses? i know the average at full growth is around 2"/5cm and it's achieved somewhere between eighteen months and two years on average
i'm at 3 months and 3cm
also, any data on how age of starting t influences growth?

>>7061240
I started T at 15, within the first week I already noticed growth, honestly it might depend on the person. I haven't measured it or anything but I'd say its around 2 inches or something.

My doc refuses to prescribe propecia to me despite obviously accelerating hair loss. I also told her I was taking minoxidil too, and she recommended I stop. Said going bald is just something that men have to deal with. Well, I'm not down with just letting my hair slowly fall out.
So what are my alternatives here? Anywhere to buy this stuff online?
I am already looking up various natural methods (foods) to block DHT.

>>7061240
Never heard of there being any timelines, you're probably better off asking people. I'm at 2 months and about 2cm. I wouldn't say it's influenced by age.

>>7061294
you can source finasteride from the same online pharmacies where trans girls get whoremoans

i have made a terrible mistake
i thought it would be a good idea to measure my true bra size (almost all measurements are made by adding 4 or 5 inches to the underbust, which gives a too large band and too small cup, but this is inaccurate) even though i have not worn a bra in five years
i'm pretty small, there's a marked asymmetry but one is what would generally be called an 'a cup' and the other a 'b cup'
accurate measurement: 34D
i know objectively that a d is small in accurate sizing but i want to die

anyone else experience a change in music interests on T? I went from relaxing bands like raybaboon to behemoth, lamb of god, cannibal corpse and such.

>>7061539
Don't think too much of it. I measured myself a while back too and according to that I'm apparently a D myself (or DD in EU sizes) but if you were to look at me, you wouldn't even consider me an EU size cup A which is smaller than a US cup A.

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Been passing for one year. Recently I started getting mad dysphoria again and questioning whether I have made the right decision to transition. I don't miss being a girl but it was so, so much easier. And even though I pass I constantly worry about my feminine traits, so I'm more self-conscious as a man.

I'm in a really uncomfortable mood about all this.

>>7064983
What kind of dsyphoria do you experience? I feel like there are very unfair expectations placed on males. So if you're concerned about feeling like you can't express yourself, that's just something society unfortunately forces men into. Or are you feeling sexual dsyphoria? Do you not like people reading you as male right away?

>>7064996
I think my problem is just that living as a girl was easier. There was no drama about me being trans, I knew how to look good, I didn't have to worry about my voice sounding male enough, etc. It was easier.

Living as a man has made me happier overall, and feels "right". But it's become much more complicated and I'm always uncomfortable because I worry about passing so much.

Join the ftm discord chat if you want I guess

https://discord.gg/kFVuD9S

/ftmg/ is deader than usual. I leave for almost 24 hours and less than 10 new posts.

So I came across an article of a trans woman who lost some trans contest because she was deemed 'not trans'. The host or whatever saw footage of her wearing boxer shorts at home and wearing shorts to the gym, so she deemed her a gay man and a drag queen. Hah... Wha? Man, gender roles are so messed up. I thought only trans guys had to deal with this 'you're not trans enough' stuff.

>trying to write coming out letter to parents
>write 3 lines
>it's all clinical and unpersonal
>ugh
>crumple up and flush because there's no way they'd understand and accept me anyway

Ugh. I can't see myself moving out until my mid 20s but I wanna live full-time already. Would it be a bad idea of me to just see a therapist before coming out? He'll probably say I can't just go on hormones without coming out though.

https://discord.gg/GqazE5v

>>7065603
>>7066013
Why two different ones? What's going on?

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hey, i started a new kik group for trans people to chill, hang out, and banter in. kik code's attached, or message freyja.snow if you're using an old version. this group has nothing to do with mtfg, just advertising.

so far there's only one ftm person in the group, but it's a brand new group so I'm trying to change that early on!

rules:
18+ pr0n is allowed but it's not a pr0n group
mtf, ftm, and nb people are allowed. NO CHASERS.
no catfishing; timestamp or live picture to verify identity (private message to an admin = ok)

hope it's cool posting this here. if not haha i'm a loser.

>>7066693
ftmg** don't mind my lazy copy/paste

>>7061015
I'm not at all a chaser. I just always see super buffed-out model transmen and I'd like to see some normal ones. I always feel curious about seeing who passes without being hulked out.

Any transfembois here?

>>7066956
I prefer cuteboi, but yeah.

>>7066956

I'm femme but not a femboy. /femgen/ doesn't allow me because I don't wanna look like a girl. I wanna wear cute clothes but still have a beard and be 'masculine' looking.

>>7066956

Brooklyn

>>7054301

Somebody please tell me what the fuck is wrong with the lesbians here?

>>7067438
they are lesbians, so they are batshit insane by default

>>7067003
>>7067118
>>7067318
Nice, I like femboys but I also like transfemboys just as much

>>7067438
>"What the fuck is wrong here?"
>In a troll thread with troll responses
>Any serious posters posting are lesbians which means they are automatically fucking crazy

hmm

So I'm watching a documentary on trans people in Vietnam and this guy mentions Buddhism is anti-lgbtq. I have never heard of that and I toyed with Buddhism in my teens. Then again, I know there are apparently different ways to follow it.

>>7068590

yeah that's true... in a sense, it depends a bit on how hardcore people practice it

buddhism is against body alteration in general cuz the body shouldn't matter and marking it or changing it is wrong as a result... buddhists are supposed to concern themselves with their soul rather than their physical appearance... some buddhists consider being trans punishment for past life promiscuity as well...

but... and this is why i said "in a sense" on a philosophical level no one else can tell you how to live or truly be enlightened since everyone has their own path to enlightenment, and you have to carve it out for yourself... and transition can simply be seen as part of someone's path pre-enlightenment and from a medical issue perspective that changes things as well... i imagine a buddhist who sees it as a medical issue rather than karmic punishment would be less judgmental about it... but they'd might still be against it (to a point) cuz from a buddhist perspective dealing with that discomfort and suffering until you push past suffering from a place within and live in the moment without concern over something that in buddhism is seen as rather trivial...

unrelated: some woman walked past my s/o, his sister, and i earlier today while we were out and just kinda said "i feel sad" to us when she was closeby... i was so high it took me a sec to realize she actually said it, and by then she was kinda far heading in the opposite direction... it was strange though... she looked totally normal, and wasn't like crying or anything...

also took a little more heroin than i should've too... at least puking from that isn't nearly as bad as puking from drinking... closer to pcp puking where it's just quick, over with, and you feel better

>>7068761

they might* my bad... started out writing "they'd probably" then didn't...

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>>7068761

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>want to talk about girls and love life with other non-tumblr-tier ftm
>everyone here is """""""gay""""""" (aka fujoshit taking their yaoi fantasy too far)
JUST

>>7068899
I'm straight but you act like a faggot

>>7068899
Look at how bad femgen does fujo before you start lobbing accusations

>>7068991
>implying you're straight
Any homo tranny needs to be executed on the spot.

>>7068899
I'm straight.
I miss my ex gf. Will I ever get over her?

>>7068899
How's your love life these days senpai?

>>7069010
Only time can decide that, but if you don't actively seek to fall in love with someone else then it will take some time.

>>7069008
Are we homo for liking women or for liking men at this point?

>>7068899

i'm bi and not at all into tumblr... i don't have yaoi fantasies, and there's other bi and straight guys here... but you don't gotta be a dick to people to get attention, you could just talk...

Visual arts? Yes. I paint. I'm not very good, and my family laugh at my work, but I still do it. Sadly I wrecked my favourite painting in a burst of anger.

Currently in hospital. Thankfully the GIC has been giving me regular calls for support.

>>7066693
I'd like to join - who do I add to join?

>>7070098

why are you in the hospital? what's wrong?

>>7070105
The classic trans suicide attempt case. Tried to jump under a bus. Missed and hit the windscreen. Bashed my head in but no worse. Still in a lot of pain but sadly alive.

>>7070125
Dude, no, don't do that.

>>7070125

there's always more to those than just being trans, even when that's most of it... i tried to hang myself once, so i get it, but there was a lot wrong there even though dysphoria played the biggest role... and i'm saying that cuz i don't believe it's ever as simple as something just being the "classic trans suicide" thing... it makes it sound too impersonal and suicide attempts are extremely personal... idk i'm rambling

i'm glad you're alive though, not just for your sake either, but for the bus driver and the people on that bus too... sounds like it was just meant to be

any permanent damage or is recovery gonna be smooth? physically i mean, mentally that's not gonna be smooth...

do you feel different about trying now that you have? it helped with my perspective personally, not as much as chronic illness but still... sometimes bad shit can get you to a better head space with time...

if you're fat while you're going through puberty is that basically a death sentence when it comes to passing? considering all the extra oestrogen and that

>>7070147
I've got a practical hole in my head. Stitches come out tomorrow. No permanent damage but I'll need physio for my arms. I feel a bit better about trying harder to pass and to get the clinic to take me seriously (no, I didn't attempt to make them do that - that'd be self-defeating).

>>7070148
i pass pretty well and spent part of puberty in the overweight bmi range (inb4 "bmi is wrong because 70% of the population are bodybuilders"), though i also spent part in the normal range and seemed to have low estrogen levels in general
i have known a lot of obese+ trans guys, including ones who came out during puberty, but most were pre-t and not really trying to pass
one was on t and passed in the same 'male but not cis' way postpubertal transitioners do, one was pre-t but with a really masculine face though i don't think he passed offline

>>7070148
Not if you take T and work out

>>7070149

i didn't think you attempted it for that reason, though i know that having a hard time getting treatment makes shit that much more hopeless feeling... and doesn't help the situation

at least it's nothing too bad, i find it terrifying when suicide attempts leave people with brain damage or permanent disfiguration and they live anyway... fucked up souvenir you know?

at least you're feeling better now and can hopefully make shit better for yourself... and get help...

when i tried to kill myself i just... ended up drinking a lot and having sex to get over it when it didn't work out, and i didn't tell anyone for a while... even after a 2nd issue i didn't say shit about the 1st... and the 2nd time i lied to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible (after being forced there) cuz 2 guys who worked there had tried to get me to undress in front of them and were telling me they were gonna restrain me for being uncooperative while trying to get me to act out so they could ( i stayed calm, refused, and got lucky cuz a doctor came in and told them to leave and shit before that escalated)

it didn't do anything for me when it came to getting help, but it sounds like you have more reasons to be hopeful that you will in your case... i'm sorry you went through that, but maybe good shit will come from it

>>7070148

there's fat transguys that pass... and there's fat cis guys that carry their weight in their hips and thighs, my little bro is overweight and has issues with his hips and thighs (they're more feminine than mine, though i'm far from being overweight...)

>>7068590

Speaking of that doc, apparently some lesbians transition because they consider that more socially acceptable. That must be horribly dysphoric plus it ruins your love life more.

>tfw library books have been due to over a week and I haven't even read half of the one I'm reading

Ugh. It's not a bad book but I keep on procrastinating. I'm just not in the mood to read anything but Tumblr posts and 4chan replies these days. Maybe it's dysphoria, maybe I'm just awfully lazy.

>>7070125

So... What happens when you fail a suicide attempt? Do they make you go to therapy? I wonder what it must be like to be sitting in a bus and suddenly someone gets hit by it.

>>7070148
Seeing how estrogen would fuck with you anyway during puberty I think the worst thing you have to deal with is fat distribution. After what I gather T makes new fat store in male patterns but if you have loads of fat on your body already it will stick in female patterns and stay for a long time. That is, unless you get to lifting and losing weight, making the fat distribution change happen faster. You're in charge of your body, dude. A recomp is the best thing you can do for yourself in that situation.

>>7070301
You're a troll right?

>>7070326

Why would I be? It's just a question. I have never tried to kill myself so I'm curious. They can't just let you go off scotfree after that.

>>7070337
Try it out. See what happens.

>>7070301
I've only read one book for pleasure in the last 7 years or so, and that was a short one that took me ages. I'm not a reader.

That said, I half-read a bunch of learnin' books for class.
>Vichy France sent over 4,000 children to die at Auschwitz
Heavens.

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New thread: >>7070589
New thread: >>7070589