ITT: Early Signs Of Being Gay/Bi/Trans/Ace

>>7010062
i wish iwould be forced to were girls uniformand skirt

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>be me, NB leaning femme
>always 'too sensitive' to bond with other boys
>hated my body, wished I was a girl every day
>wore shirts in the pool because I developed a chest because I was chunky
>hated the attention my chest got me from other kids but otherwise was pretty thrilled about it
>wonder if anything will change down below
>then puberty hit
>always shaved my junk since forever
>no change
>much upset
>as a cosmic joke of some kind the hair spread all over my body
>eventually give up shaving because it is just too emotionally stressful
>give up on being femme
>really depressed in middle school
>stop taking care of myself all together from 13-23
>10 years of showering once or twice a week, never brushing teeth, haircuts maybe once every 6 months at a minimum and wearing shit clothes from clearance racks
>"well if I can't have the body I want I'm not going to care about this one until I get what I want"
>lose weight in summer of 2012 randomly, tummy is gone but tits stayed
>icandealwiththis.jpg
>start caring
>dress better
>more haircuts
>more showers
>shave face everyday
>shave body twice a month
>feels good to care
>now; 25 leaning towards going full trap if it wasn't for body hair and obv male frame and skull
>happy to just be me for now

>>7010237
pic

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>>7010250
;D

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>Age 6 to 11
>Sensitive bitch, other boys are smashing anthills, i'm literally raising butterflies in my room
>Play with sisters dolls a ton, when my dad caught me, i just played with lego figures instead
>""accidentally"" put on my sisters underwear instead of mine when u grabbed underwear from the hamper
>Wanted long hair, pierced ears, basically to look like a chick
>Age 11-14
>Got my first boner, thought my dick was falling off.
>"Neat"
>Started liking girls romantically and i guess sexually, but it was hard for me to think about sex
>Age 15-17
>Dysphoria from puberty continues, gets worse
>Routinely steal clothes from my sisters to wear
>Feels great in the moment, liberating, but if i look in the mirror i realize how dumb i look
>[email protected]
>Realize how pointless and pathetic my life is, how much of a fag i am
>Emo phase, start self harming
>Go to therapist, blame it all on my mother
>Age 18
>Crippling anxiety and dysphoria every night
>Can't sleep
>Routinely vomit when i think about future
>Refuse to come out because I still like to pretend it's all self-imposed and just "in my head"
What a fantastic life i've been handed

When I was in twelve or thirteen I really began to admire male school uniforms and wanted to wear them. I also was going through a weeb stage and pronouns messed me up. I wanted to learn Japanese but I knew girls using "boku" was weird irl.

>>7010237

Did not brushing your teeth ruin your teeth? When I was in my teens I went through a similar stage where I didn't feel like doing anything hygienic. I was a NEET so it didn't matter since I'd go outside like once a month. I worry that might have made my teeth sensitive. I noticed receding gumlines on one of my teeth and a mild sensitivity but otherwise they're healthy. I'm trying to reverse my bad hygiene choices in the past (bathe once a day, brush for 2 minutes twice a day, wash hair weekly, etc).

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>>7010062
>ace
>nonironically

Literally kill yourself.

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>Never wants to hurt anyone/anything
>Always wanting to nurture baby dolls and stray animals
>Always wanting to be the mother when playing house and letting the neighborhood boys hump me since I'm the 'girl'
>always pose femininely, learned to walk gracefully, tried to speak eloquently and favored using a soft/meek voice
>always look away from boobs in movies before I was even told to

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> be me
> be a good little Christian boy
> go to daycare
> never been around people what the fuck do I do
> hang out with other boys
> these guys are fun but my god they're cunts
> go inside and play barbies with the girls
> this ain't half bad
> do it for a while
> caregivers freak the fuck out and I'm not allowed in girls room
> fuckmylife.avi
> years later, be in elementary school
> we learn how to run around in different ways in warm up
>learn how to skip
>I quite like this form of movement
> For 3 years, I skipped through the hallowed halls of my school.
> other boys noticed
> got pushed off of a tall slide and called a faggot
> not going to do that again
> started repressing any feminine mannerisms I may have displayed.
> loading Sunday school: 87%
> Hey little guy, did you know God hates the gays?
> better not be one of them
> Stage 4: Middle School
> begin to hate lgbt and even plotted a protest of local gsa.
> my rational friends called me a fucking idiot and stopped me.
> I start to get criticized for my beliefs.
> start second guessing my beliefs
> become a liberal Christian,
>Now entering High School:
> Friend pesters me to go to gsa
> Whydoifeelsonicehere.mp4
> Start questioning my heterosexuality.
> Decide that being gay is too scary and nobody wants me so I'll be asexual.
> Wrong answer
> Didn't feel right, back to the drawing board
> I'm pansexual, I could love anybody I think
> Stop being a snowflake
> decide I'm bi
> this feels nice
> start to feel comfortable with myself
> act girly sometimes, painted nails one day
> feel comfortable with sexuality.
> not comfortable with everything else in life but hey at least I've got this.
> Maybe one day I'll get a partner
> Nah you're fuckin ugly

>>7011210
this is a mirror of my life almost exactly

>>7010062
>played with legos growing up
>always did well in science and math classes
>had a difficult time making friends
>always said things at the wrong time
>couldn't interact normally with people
>18, go to a psychologist
>find out i'm autistic
>still have to come out to my parents
>don't know how they'll react to having an autistic son

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>>7011236

just realized this not too long ago
>sister way into dance, taking classes
>end up doing some because of her
>be me up on stage in front of a crowd doing some gay af dancing to musicals with literally just girls
>too young, I guess, so no attraction to them
>now I'm not surprised I like it up the ass

at least that shit ended quick before I had to come out of the closet early

Thinking back It kinda makes some since
>at some elementary cultural night, I wore a salsa dress and didn't take it off
>I did ballet for some years
>longer hair
>more friends who are girls
I guess I did things as a kid that makes since why I could possible think I was trans or just confused

>>7010062
>5th grade
>wank off to the thought of my step dad fucking me

>ftm

>8-10ish
>pre-pubescent, peers and I all counting the days until we start growing body hair
>had a small plastic figure of a parrot on a long perch that's vaguely shaped like a razor (parrot=handle, perch=blade)
>hanging out with a female friend
>she takes the parrot and uses it to pretend to shave her legs
>later, when I'm alone, sneak some of older brother's shaving cream and use the toy to pretend to shave my face
>make a habit of it whenever in the bath/shower

>10-12ish
>puberty in decent swing
>not yet getting hair on my legs, just some invisible fuzz
>hanging out with female friend in her bathroom, she tells me how lucky I am to not have to shave
>jokingly grab her razor and mime shaving my leg
>she freaks and tells me not to actually do it, or it'll grow back thicker and I'll be trapped eternally shaving like her
>go home
>sneak brother's razor and shave all over hoping to get hairy

>12ish
>start going to brother's private school
>get his old uniforms
>male shirts barely different from female shirts, no one cares that I wear them
>male pants different colour from female pants, have to get brand new ones
>parents talk up the fact that I'm getting brand new clothes instead of hand-me-downs, offer to throw in some new female-cut shirts and skirts too (turned it down)
>new or not, really bummed out by the whole thing, wish I could just wear the male pants
>hold onto bro's old pants anyway, use them to dress up as a nerd for halloween to justify keeping them and to be able to wear them in public without looking too weird
>he thought I was directly mocking him, everything went better than expected

Poor bro

>>7010062
>Be me as of today, bi
>Before primary (elementary) school
>Had best friend (who later turned out to be gay and is pretty qt)
>Would do shit together like look at each others dicks, balls, etc
>Would race each other in the upstairs of his house naked (we were pretty weird)
>For some reason never kissed or did anything sexual though. Was probably too young to understand
>Primary school, had first kiss with a girl, so I knew I wasn't gay
>However, thinking back on it, I was pretty gay
>Every time I went clothes shopping, in the underwear section, I would always stare at the pictures of guys bulges on the packaging
>Used to go swimming with my brother and my dad
>Every time we got changed back into our clothes, always used to stare at my dad's dick
>He noticed but didn't really care
>Would also peep if he was having a bath sometimes, and just stare at his body and his package
>Always used to think my dad was better looking than my mom
>Fast forward to secondary school
>Make new best friend
>Is straight as an arrow
>Practically had a new girlfriend every month
>Near the end of secondary school, my dad died
>Wonder if its had an impact on me in the case of same sex affection
>Best friend and I used to meet up
>Every time he was around my house, he was super touchy
>He would let me sit on his lap, stroke my long hair, spank me, put his arms around me, and call me babe
>Pretty sure he knew I was bi
>Such a fucking tease because he's straight and I loved what he did
>College years, start getting feelings for him and tell him, even though I knew I would get rejected
>Turned out as expected but we weren't awkward after
So yeah, pretty fucking weird childhood...

>>7010062
>me, gay

>be 10
>be super into shiek from Ocarina Of Time
>find out shiek is a chick
>get super disappointed and saddened by it for a long time
>realise last year that i was actually gay for shiek

Now i also like traps apparently
Even debated going trap a bunch of times

>>7011098
>>7010561

Not being a ruthless animal killer was considered feminine in the 80s/90s/2000s?

>have dreams that someone would come and turn me into a girl
>sister wanted a little sister, wanted to let her dress me up and shit but too ashamed to say so >always cried when parents made me get my hair cut
>really got into cartoons that had gender bender stuff
Didn't put together the pieces until far too late just set up the helium tank for me pham

>>7011387
Oh wow this just reminded me that I used to do ballet

>>7013257

Sheik is my waifu, buddy. Seriously though, she fascinated me as a teen. I always wanted to dress up as a guy like her. I was so into reverse traps in my teens.

Ftm, btw. Even as an adult I am most drawn to hard butch and crossdressy ladies.

>>7013429
You sound like someone who votes for shillary

>try to learn how to tie a tie at age 15
>mom gets mad and throws it away because "ties are for boys"

._.

>>7015144
You should have Avril Lavigned her

liking boys
>be 7-8-ish
>had an agreement with a kid from class (a Muslim mind you) to check out each others benises and I felt butterflies in my stomach
>tfw I corrupted a Muslim

wanting to b a grill
>took my moms purse and clothes all my early youth
>always felt more emotionally connected with girls (they didn't like me being with them though)

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>>7010062
On ios, so no greentext.

I basically knew in 2008, (when I was 11), because
- I was female in every one of my dreams
- when everyone else was asleep, I'd tuck my shlong and pretend to masturbate as a girl.
- never stood up when I peed cause I heard that thats how girls did it.

Began to repress soon after. 7 years later, realise it isnt a phase, sink into depression.

Now that I've moved out I've started HRT, I've also told a few friends and my brother about it. Planning on telling my family after Christmas, so I don't potentially ruin the holidays.

bissexual here

>be 8
>really afraid of being homossexual
>sometimes I had dreams about becoming homossexual and woke up pretty spooked

>be 13
>discovered porn
>not afraid of being a homo anymore

>be 14
>neo nazi hail varg vikernes.gif
>"gays are degenerates n mentally ill"

>be 16
>sex drive is extremely high
>occasionally dates girls but never have sex
>horny all the time
>read Marquis de Sade and that changed my mind for ever
>started to fap to traps

>be me
>be 6
>in counseling because i'm an annoying fucking child
>actually tell the counselor "i feel like a boy in a girl's body"

>diagnosed with GD last month

that's literally it i was a faggy kid

>>7015293
>On ios, so no greentext.
Wat
>greentext is just >
>123 key
>#+= key
> >
Idiot.

>>7011210
I would never date a grinchposter tbhfam

I'm ftm and when i was little i used to hold things up to my crotch while I was taking a bath and say I was a boy. My mom would "correct" me.
I also hated wearing dresses and bows in my hair.
And i had a lot of confusing feelings for my female friends as a preteen.

I always fantasized about cutting my penis off. I would close my legs so my genitals would "disappear".

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>be me when I was in 1st or 2nd grade
>looking at some educational book about rain forests
>they show a picture of a native living in the jungle
>muscular guy wearing nothing but a loincloth outdoors...
>pic related

I'm gay in case that wasn't obvious.

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>>7010062
>FTM
>have problems toilet training as a toddler because I apparently used to try and pee standing up
>randomly cut off all my hair when I was 4, can't even remember why, was asked why by my mother and just said "because I wanted to"
>want to be a pro wrestler from the age of 6 or 7 but not a girl one, literally just want to be able to magically transform into Batista or some shit, always just presume I'd get buff and just somehow turn into a male wrestler as I got older
>always hung out with boys in school

Yeah, basically that and your standard tomboy stuff, playing with boys toys, liking boys clothes, etc., also this is going to sound retarded but I had no idea my vagina was a hole until I was 12-13 and I got my period and it started doing stuff. I just honestly didn't know what it was, just thought it was some sort of mound I peed from.

>>7010062

>be 3 years old
>have a crush on my uncle
>have a crush on a teenage male cousin

>be 4
>have a crush on female classmate
>have a crush on male classmate

>13
>sexually and romantically attracted to men only

>25
>sexually attracted to both men and women

WTF just happened?

In my schooldays I was into fighting and debasing boys. Girls I liked and used to protect them from bullies though I tried to support meek boys too and fought only other troublemakers. At first I didn't pay much attention to clothes my parents bought me and even used to wear skirts but then I lost the mood for them and quit on skirts and dresses.
At first I wasn't attracted to real life men and admired only 2D characters. The first time I felt a sexual attraction it was for a girl at my 15 years. I had sex for a first time with a girl too. After that I lost my virginity to a guy at the age of 20 and used to fuck guys casually and dump them afterwards. With girls I was far more gentle.
I'm still into femininity and doesn't matter what gender a person is if they look somewhat feminine. I'm not attracted to manly men and FtMs at all, other categories are just fine. I identify as bisexual woman and I'm also into BDSM.

Did any of you trans people think of names growing up? Since I was little I never liked my name but that was because everyone pronounced it wrong. I wanted to change my name to Crystal. A few years later I met a girl with that name and now hate it. I'm ftm btw.

>>7019130
Only started doing it like 2years ago. I just love female names. Christy, Jeannette, Emily (my current favorite.), Joanna. I could go on. I feel horrible about this desu. Since puberty I have felt a good deal of chagrin over my name (Collin, what a shit name). I hate the sound of that long O. I love female names but dissociate hard from them. I love the name Emily so much I will say it over and over if I'm bored or feeling down, taking special care to sound each syllable. Emm all leee. As a mtf this seems normal except that I don' t IDENTIFY with these names. They would all sound so foreign in reference to me. Feel like this would be easier if I wanted to be full femme but I just want to be andro why am I so tortured by my physicality feelings suck.

>be 9
>few friends
>talking a with a kid extremely shy, always absent or ill massive weeb (I wasn't at the time), youngest kid of a family with 5 daughters all already adults
>I find him cool but I don't share many interests
>he goes to talk to another kid who plays final fantasy
>I get mad and possessive
>doesn't talk to me as much
>fast forward, be 15
>kid comes out as gay
>I say it's alright, but I do the thing
>I tell him "but obviously you're not my type haha"
>he's now just an aquaintance
from this day I have been slowly realizing I had a crush on him
I've fully admitted I was bi around 17.

>>7019130

My parents told me they picked a male name for me (ftm) before picking a female one because they thought I'd more likely be a boy, so as a kid I always went around proudly saying "I was supposed to be a boy and my name was supposed to be x."

>Masturbate almost exclusively to the idea of being a girl and/or getting fucked as a girl since I first started
>Start thinking I might be trans around 13/14
>read people talking about a stereotypical narrative where they were wearing skirts out of the womb
>decide I'm not trans
>get disappointed by this
>keep checking for assurance I'm not trans like every three months from then on

>>7019524
did you end up using that name?

>>7013362
It is when you're a kid in the south. Not killing shit makes you look weak in their eyes

>>7016426
Effort.mov

My favorite part of going to the barbershop when I was 5-ish was getting to look at issues of FLEX.

>>7010062 (OP)
>Be like 6
>Sister gets to paint her room
>I get to pick a colour and help paint my own
>I want pink
>Mom mentions it to a friend saying that she can't let me do it cause I'll get bullied
>Friend tells her to let me paint my closet pink
>I decide on blue cause I like blue better
>I'm a homo

>Halloween I'm like 4
>First Halloween I'm allowed to pick my costume
>I was so proud
>Also torn with indecision
>"Should I be ballerina or Godzilla mom?"
>"Don't you mean ballet dancer?"
>"No, ballerina."
>"..."
>Decide on a whim later that day I want to be Godzilla
>Pretend to smash stuff all night.

>Grab my sisters Barbies when I'm 3
>Pick up dolls ad walk to the play house
>Mom is watching confused as I've never shown an interest before
>Start making plane noises and knock down house with Barbie while flying her around the room

I was a precocious child.

>be 6
>standing to pee
>think about penis
>"so how do I know I'm a boy anyway?"
>"maybe my parents just lied about it?"
>huh

>be 7
>fantasize about genderswap AU
>there was a cherry blossom tree right outside my window that was in bloom
>imagine AU me in a pretty kimono

>be 12
>legs get hairy early
>never wear shorts again

>be 13
>start playing FFXI with my older brother
>make catgirl character
>get teased
>"no see it's okay because I want to play a ninja and cat girls make good ninjas and you can only make female characters for this race so I'm completely justified here"
>"""forget""" to tell people I'm not actually a girl when I play
>sometimes go in the sex rp chat rooms in the game client and pretend to be a girl DON'T JUDGE OKAY

>be 14
>lie in bed sometimes at night and wonder what it would be like to transition
>imagine scene where I come out to my dad
>haha jk guess that's never happening

>be 17
>eat a bunch of ecstasy at the after homecoming party
>end up hanging out with random girl I kinda know and her friends
>we all sneak into a hot tub and I go in my pants because I don't want anyone to see my legs
>end up at girls house with gang
>"hey you'll catch a cold if you wear those pants to sleep here put on a pair of my underwear"
>protest a little but not really
>they're really comfy
>wake up at 5 to go to bathroom and pokerface past her step dad in panties

>be 20
>eat a bunch of molly and wind up at a queer party
>run into old friend and go back to her place after to hang out
>when it's time to go she lets me borrow her jacket
>it's really comfy and makes me feel warm inside

I'm 23 now and I've been out as trans for about two and a half years. Girl #2 was one of the first people I came out to and now we're dating and live together.

>>7020203
Oh also this one time when I was 18 I was crossfaded with some friends and there was a big trampoline. Someone lied down on it while other people bounced around and started laughing hysterically and said we had to try it. So I did and I closed my eyes and suddenly I was imagining myself as a woman and I was having sex with some guy and I'm pretty sure my laughs turned into gasps/moans at some point... That one was really confusing.

>>7010062
what fucked up school did you go to where you weren't permitted to wear slacks? my fucking catholic schools did.

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>>7010062
>be 13, 14
>think girl's panties are more fun and exciting than plain boys ones
>want to try them on
>steal sister's
>put them on
>feel sexy
>get turned on
>proceed to develop a thing for trying on bras, dresses, etc
>eventually start wearing girl jeans because it's socially acceptable as an emo thing
>eventually ask to go as girl for halloween, get help from my mom too
I cringe now thinking about that halloween. I'm guessing my mom waited for years for me to come out as gay before I finally got a steady girlfriend.

>>7020366
If you have pictures please post em

It was pretty obvious when I started exploring my body at thirteen in, say, unconventional ways for a boy.
Yet I lied to myself for seven more years after that.

>>7016365

So what was with that huge gap between telling the counselor you feel like a boy and getting diagnosed just last month? Didn't the counselor say anything?

>>7016788

>i used to hold things up to my crotch while I was taking a bath

Why did you lift things up to your crotch?

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>>7020602
I'm not trans, and I hope to god no pics of that Halloween remain.

>>7020750
after i told her she lost her shit, my parents lost their shit. i dropped it for 11 years before realizing i'm a transguy and coming out to my parents a year after that, which didn't go great but they accepted it after a while. i've been out for 4 years now

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>>7020750
what a shitty fucking counselor

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>>7020859
it was the Bowen center and more than 10 years ago, so :/

>>7020833

I saw a group of psychologists some weeks ago and I was skirting around the tranny issue (since I was in a highly Roman Catholic country on vacation and I was already on HRT) saying that, "If it were something I could talk about to just anybody, or even just any psych, it wouldn't have messed up my life so much. All most people know how to do is make it worse." Sad to see that turned out true for you.

They basically asked me if I was a tranny at the last appointment though. So they figured it out but it wasn't so bad. The reaction was still Catholic, but it wasn't aggressive.

>>7019130
I used to hate having to say my name to people, ever since I was at least 6 I had this inexplicable hatred of telling people what my name was.

>>7010693
YHBT.

Eh I can't really remember anything that specifically indicated I was trans. Maybe like that thing where your friends will go, "What would you guys do if you were a girl?" and everyone else talks about how they'd just masturbate a bunch and would only wanna do it for a day when you're over there thinking, "yeah sure, but I wouldn't mind it overall I don't think." That's not much though.

>>7019541
>get disappointed by this
>keep checking for assurance I'm not trans like every three months from then on
Funny how those are the two biggest indicators and not that other shit, isn't it?

>>7020203
>sometimes go in the sex rp chat rooms in the game client and pretend to be a girl DON'T JUDGE OKAY
I've done that, only I was 20 at the time, and it was FFXIV, not XI. The /d/ free company was pretty cool.

>>7021837
I played 1.0 to the level cap but I'm too lazy/busy to get caught up on an MMO these days. Well, I guess I do play DFO, but you can clear your dailies in like a half hour in that game. FFXIV is cool though but it'll never fill the hole in my heart FFXI left.

>>7019130
My name is pretty unusex and parents chose it because (quoting them) "our future child's sex wasn't of importance to us".

>>7010175
hahaha. me too, anon, me too.

>Occasional, guilt ridden crossdressing
>Was caught three times trying on makeup by family, was super embarrassed
>I shamefully, tearfully confessed to my mom that I wanted a girl's doll one day, I didn't get it, though she took it well for a conservative person
>I was jealous of girls who were friends, I wanted strongly to have female bonding experiences
>Feminization fantasies

>>7010062
You have a crush on a dude.

>>7022753

With that sort of attitude I hope you took advantage of it and transitioned young.

>>7024284

>Was caught three times trying on makeup by family, was super embarrassed

Wow, you have some balls. I wouldn't have tried after being caught the first time. Not that I ever tried it when I was younger because I was too afraid of being caught.

>>7024386
I'm really not brave at all, I just really wanted to feel girly.

Getting caught those three times was deeply embarrassing. The third time, my mom nervously asked me if I wanted to be a girl. I told her no, because I had no idea what trans people were at that age.

>>7013641

I used to do figure skating >_>

>be me young
>always want parents to buy me the cookery set toys and stuff, and help grandmother cook
>Parents scold me and say all that is wrong, and I should go outside and play with the boys
>kinda do with playing with army men and stuff and reading tons of books so I dont have to go outside and do all that stuff. think "this is what smart boys do" and think I`m just being quiet and well behaved.
>Try to grow my hair long because smart boys have long hair keep getting force to cut it short. Mother catches me wearing her clothes, tells me Dad shouldnt see me wearing them.
>Conservative, religious grandmother catches me in my room with a towel around my waist like a skirt and pillows stuffed under my shirt as if Ive breasts and am pregnant. She scolds me and beats me and I repress myself, kinda scarred
>Recurring dreams about crossdressing
>Develop OCD, chanting "I`m not gay Im not gay" and counting in multiples of 2 all the way up to 256 while knocking on wood. Weird
>Always socially awkward and never know how to act around girls because I feel like.. theres a way guys are meant to act, being all manly and super masculine and I do that since I think I`m meant to
>Parents split up, dad beat mum, mum is a complete bitch so I support dad, think women are evil. Cue FML.
>Become homophobic, hateful and repressed. Get into lots of fights and model myself after, and... Im serious, Conan the Barbarian.
> Headbutt some guy who skipped in front of me shouting "For Crom"
>Really silly half the time, and super sensitive the other half, getting thrown off by roughness and sulking a lot.
>Parents are too busy caught up in their own troubles to actually care about how awkward I am
>Hatred of all things girly, even though after my parents broke up, my dad pampered me tons like I was his daughter. We would like.. cuddle up together in the same bed and watch movies
>Cue me coming out as gay eventually, repressed memories,self harm. Realising im trans.Hatred. Working things out

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>be me at 6yo
>learn girls don't have dicks
>whatthefuckisthisshit.jpg

* Felt strange when I had to change in the locker room with other men (I'd find a safe hidden space to hide my erection).
* Got called gay in a negative fashion, so I rejected that part of myself when I was younger.
* I'd suppose my body language has always been a bit effeminate.
* Was punished and looked at strangely because I kissed boys in elementary. I learned it was wrong and stopped.
* First sexual fantasy was about a man before I learned I also liked women.
* Was curious about my mothers clothing when I was 17. I wondered what life would have been like as a woman before recognizing the social differences between male and female, and why they are as they are. My mom caught me, and started telling my dad I might be gay, and seeing as they were separated, I noticed it would cause me and him harm for him to know or feel I was. So I didn't tell him as to avoid disappointing my father.
* I learned that if I mention something different about my identity, people spin stories around me.
* Had attraction and curiosity for men while I was dating women (I didn't act on).
* Learned I didn't understand women very well and strayed away from forming physical relationships with them. I also learned to take disinterest in their personal lives.
* Had no qualms with where I would seek physical attention until I learned certain things I enjoyed were taboo.
* I felt different from other boys, and I didn't get along with many others. I was very inwardly angry and still am.
* Was punished and suffered ridicule for coming out. Now I keep my personal information personal.
* I learned that the way I feel and my experiences aren't easily understood, so I had to either lie or simplify everything I say to other people.
* I didn't live or grow up in LGBT culture, so I'm not socialized like the rest of my grouping.
* Recognized I couldn't expect others to understand how I feel or my opinions and was blamed for expressing my sexuality as people feel confused about me.

>>7037394
* The anger turned into sadness, into feelings of wanting to die, into feelings of personal acceptance of what I am in recognition that being alive is better than death (even if it's hell).
* Personal acceptance that I can only really rely on me to know who I am, and that I don't have to express personal matters to others. Everyone is a customer.
* Recognition to not take others personal and primarily focus on my own thoughts and opinions.
* Recognition that others will attempt to take control of my emotions, there is never a reason to express more than I have to. Just smile regardless of how I feel, and only do or help what works for me.

>>7036418
I thought the same thing. Learned that through a porno mag my friend had in middle school.

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>All other boys are playing with toys
>I'm hiding in my room jacking off to the thought of women with dicks
>sister finds my drawings of dick girls, tells me she loves me
>When I was a teenager I had weird trans feelings, they went away way b4 I reached adult hood
>can never cum in a vagina even though I've had tons of sex

Boring I know