When I was younger I thought I was supposed to have been born a girl because I liked boys.
But I was molested (I think, only started therapy to deal with it now) so who knows.
>tfw don't know who you are
>Be Grade 5
>Guitar Hero and Rock Band at their absolute peak
>Started to become more aware of social status and stuff like that
>Start shopping at prep stores like Hollister, AE, all that shit..
>Start trying to fit in with the preps
>Fit in well, even though those kids are rich as fuck.
>They'res this one twinkish kid, always dresses nicely and talks in a feminine manner
>Meanwhile living a double life
>My other group of friends are skateboarders who are still my burnout druggie friends to this day.
>Talk lots about sex, what girls we know and desire.
>Would group watch pornography
>One day, get intense urge to suck friends off
>Over the next period of time, would experiment sexually with male friends
>Meanwhile I want to fuck the prep so bad
>I have the gay
>Start looking at gay porn
>Dressing fem (tight shirts and pants, small colorful undies)
>Talk about feelings that I have with some friends
>"Dude, that's gay as fuck"
>One day at school
>East indian girl friends with twink comes up to me
>Twink want's to see you
>He's office monitoring during lunch
>"Anon they're something I want to talk about with you"
>"I heard you're" then starts righting on a piece of paper
>Bi.....then writes an O beside it, scribbles all text out
>"And that you"
>Writes on paper again
> <3 me?
>Turn 360 degrees and walk away.
Been a faggot ever since.
When puberty came around I had a dream about a girl I knew, nothing sexual she was just in my dream. I woke up and couldn't fathom why just being around her made me so nervous, my body feel so hot, like overnight I had developed all the sensitivity for sexual attraction and they were acting on full blast. I grew out of my crush but my awareness of other women remained.
>dont use it as a crutch but embrace it
I think mine is worse than I ever imagined. I think my dad might have pimped me out. I got messaged by an old guy, after I came out last year, from my hometown who knew the house I lived at up until I was about two.
It was creepy as hell.
this is really something you and your therapist should go over since theyre trained for it, i dont wanna give you any wrong ideas
i meant dont use what happened all those years ago as a crutch to deny becoming what you believe in
>i meant dont use what happened all those years ago as a crutch to deny becoming what you believe in
Yeah, I won't. it explains why my life has been the way it is but now that I'm getting to the bottom of it (so to speak) now I can try to get better and do allll the stuff I've alwaas to but been 'blocked' from doing.
Hope you're doing well too. Really.
sounds like you prolly had it rougher than me, glad to see things are turning around for ya. life is good here but im also 24 so ive had time to deal
I realized I was bisexual like 3 minutes ago, at a video of two brothers, they were very girly looking boys, they where humping each other with clothes on. I'm not atracted to men, that's just gross. I've lived 18 year's being very very atracted to girls ever since I was 9. I'm not even sweating it, I always kinda knew.
I realized I was bisexual like 3 minutes ago, at a video of two brothers, they were very girly looking boys, they where humping each other with clothes on. I'm not atracted to men, that's just gross. I've lived 18 year's being very very atracted to girls ever since I was 9. I'm not even sweating it, I always kinda knew. 4chan released the degenerate inside me desu senpai.
>"When did you find out you were gay?"
I don't understand this meme. I basically always knew. Didn't everybody? I was exclusively attracted to other boys literally as far back as I can remember. Of course, I didn't know what "gay" or "straight" meant until later on, but the feelings were always there.
When I was growing up, everybody was pushing the notion that boys had to be interested in girls, so I thought something was wrong with me, or I was just going through some kind of phase that I'd grow out of. Then my parents kept forcing me to go to church where I had to listen to people condemn homosexuality as some kind of abomination. That's a very shitty crisis for a young man to have to deal with during his prepubescent years. I nonetheless pulled myself away from my parents' beliefs and learned to accept myself as I got older.
I think a more apt phrase would be is when you actually came to terms with it.
I actually thought I was bi for a really long time. I never denied my sexuality as not straight and attraction towards men but in my mind I WANTED to date girls. I thought that because I was homosexual but "heteroromantic" I thought it averaged out to bi(I am delusional). I even had a type of girl I was attracted to. It took a while to realize that they were just traits I liked in people I wanted to be around.
But then I came around to realizing that it would never work and I was lying to myself and others.
In middle school my friend and I jerked off a lot together, really really innocent stuff like putting a pillow between us when we went on the internet and such.
A few years later it became clear I was manipulating this guy to keep jerking off with me, (honestly didn't think I was gay, just thought I was horny as fuck and liked jerking off) he calls it gay but keeps doing it (I mean why not after a couple years of this), then as we became freshmen in highschool he finally got a girlfriend who'd lay him so I was out of luck.
Then it kind of clicked in my mind that I liked cock a little bit too much if I was actively thinking of how to find another dude to beat off with.
Kinda a weird realization to have when you think you're 100% straight
>In middle school my friend and I jerked off a lot together, really really innocent stuff like putting a pillow between us when we went on the internet and such.
Ah man i miss those innocent times. Weirdly enough me and my 2 friends I did it with all turned out straight.
well I'm bi so figuring out the specifics took a long time
>used to put fingers in butt while masterbating in shower when i was like 14
>had gf for years figure out i like anal and attracted to guys in college
>denial for years
>finally accept that part of me
>find cute fit hung bf and never look back
About six months ago, when I started crushing hard on a guy who's way out of my league. It's hard to deny when you spend three days in bed either fantasizing or crying about a guy.
God I'm glad that's over.
Probably my original faggot thought was watching porn when i was 14ish and just feeling jealous of the girl getting plowed and wishing that was me / self inserting as the girl
That + in general just not being thrilled with the idea of sex with a female it always seemed boring, vaginas are weird and lame. I just always want dicks in my butt
when i was 12 i started arguing with my friend about appearance of anime hero. I said that one of them is the prettiest, and he did not agree with me. So I ask a girls, and they looked at me in strange way. I didn't thought i was doing something strange, and i was very involved in this problem. Then I got home and i realized that something is wrong with me
realized full homo when i was 12-13 because of middle school locker rooms
i can trace it back to elementary school where i had crushes on the new kids in 3rd and 6th grade
could possibly go as far back as crushing on digimon characters when i was 4/5.
Reviving a dead conversation here but I have a belief that any type of sexual contact like that before a child understands what sex even is can distort their sexuality.
I was raped when I was 8, and I've been going over it in my head for a long time.
I mean, it's sexual contact before you even know what that is or means. I just think it would have an impact.
>When you realized you was so feminine and soft even when you had the chance to get a gf you blow it quickly even though you also look and act masculine
>When you crossdress and imagine your a girl and you get biggest orgasms
>When the only girl you were closest to losing your virginity with looked and acted like a man and was taller than you
>When you have such a high voice people think you're a woman over the phone
>When you're 5'8 and small, with wide hips and puffy nipples from puberty and your experimentation with hormones later on
I might as well date guys or stay single virgin for life and I just wanted a normal family and life fuck fuck fuck fuuuccck.
I don't remember specifically when, but I like to say it was this scene:
I juggled the thought in my mind for a decently long period, but it felt kind of silly to deny it after I got a boner from watching one guy trick another into kissing.
>I basically always knew. Didn't everybody?
I thought I could be asexual for the longest of time. It didn't change until after I entered college, and my virginity still makes me doubt myself every now and then.
College was also the first time I masturbated, so yeah, idk.
>>When you're 5'8 and small, with wide hips and puffy nipples from puberty and your experimentation with hormones later on
I got so much shit as a kid for having puffy nips and I have no idea why I had them because I don't have symptoms of any intersex condition I know of other than probably too much natural estrogen maybe?
And I've had a number of people comment on my hips and male puberty did about 75% of its job
So at least I have that going for me, seeing as I started hrt at 22