>Become friends with 10/10 QT 16 y/o twink while I'm

>>6522214
>Is it common to become so infatuated with someone that you never move on LGBT?
At your age, it's extremely common, yes.
>Should I kill myself?
Not unless you're a shithead, no.

>>6522214
Yeah I know the feeling. I never got over my straight best friend and I'm 24 now I just focus on my job and my friends but I don't think I'll get into a relationship anytime soon. I'll just be thinking of him the whole time.

But no, don't kill yourself.

>>6522214
You can't kill yourself over a bff crush, it's not even close to worth it. We've probably all done it, it feels like shit, but you get over it.

>>6522214
>Is it common to become so infatuated with someone that you never move on LGBT?
I don't know about common but it does happen
>Should I kill myself?
Don't be a retard, idiot
You have your whole life ahead of you

>>6522214
My first love, he is to some degree emotional abusive and the master at negging so it's not just me.

He has a man, same one he left me for quite frankly I hope they have a happy life. My continued love for him really is less about all of him and just not the abusive parts. All the guys he is with go crazy, he coasts through life being white/blonde/masc/gorgeous and tries to be different by being a socialist. Otherwise he is an asshole weeb who really only cares about things not like him for political reasons/social clout.

The annoying thing is if I came up to him tight now he'd act as though we were still besties, he thinks how he treats others is okay namely because so many people constantly accept his abuse or snap.

If a guy says all his exes are crazy and don't talk to him know it's not them, it's him no matter how smart or attractive or "nice" he seems.

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>>6522214

Try this:
>Be 30 year old hideous virgin
>Fap to trannies, futa, whatever
>Suddenly one day you find out someone you've fapped to isn't a tranny but just a really convincing guy
>Never care much about defining yourself as bi or gay because why apply a label like that if you're never going to have sex?
>Suicidal for a long time, what's the point of life if it's all inside your own head and no one to enjoy it with?

>Through pure circumstance you meet said guy on the internet
>He is hilarious, genuinely good person, honest, fun and interesting
>And they live pretty fucking close to where you are

>Mind begins to panic. You suddenly start to obsess over self improving for him
>Suddenly being gay or bi is irrelevant not because you'll never fuck, but because you don't care what you're labeled so long as you can be with him
>He actually talks back with you, flirts even
>Don't sleep or eat for days because of the anxiety and obsession
>Hang on every word
>Have to see a Doc to make sure your heart isn't going to explode

>He teases meeting
>You do everything to make it work without coming across as some desperate, lonely, creepy, obsessed psychopath
>Circumstance prevents it

>Rage, sadness beyond words
>This one chance at something so perfect and unique is gone
>He's gone - far out of reach and onto other things
>You were never more than a friend at best. Just another nobody at worst.

>Barrel of that gun starts to look more comforting than anything else
>You're suicidal again, worse than before because you feel like you fucked up another chance

He's gone.

Long gone.

I'll never see him. Never touch him. Never smell him or just watch him smile and laugh in that special way he does. Never get to share with him, help him, feel and empathize with him.

He's gone and there's nothing I can do.

I don't really think I want to go on living with this pain anymore. I'm 30. Too old and ugly to be attractive to anyone. And that's only going to get worse

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>>6523554

>>6523554
>30
>old


nigga, just get good for your sake, eventually you'll be dripping in boipucci, or whatever suits you the best.

Improve for yourself.

>>6523554
OP: Sorry to hear about this. I guess I was lucky that I at least got to have my moments with him discreetly. I hope you find someone that'll make you happy.

My dilemma is anyone I take on now is going to feel like a downgrade. He was so perfect. I'd post pictures but I'm scared of this getting back to him.

>>6522386
Do you live in a large city where you will never see him unless you actually agree to meet or a smaller city/town where you have to go through the pain of bumping into him.

Fuck the straight best friend shit man. It's just so painful to know that there's NO chance you'll be happy with them because of genetics. Literally less chance than a freakishly ugly guy getting with Mrs universe. honestly most of us have gone through it and I thought it would never happen to me but....

Wish I was straight everyday.every single day. Good luck bros

>>6522214
He probably wants to have kids

>>6523683

I doubt he'll be dripping in boipucci even once he does get older because being hideous as fuck will still drive away all the potential twinks that would've been attracted to an older guy.

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>>6523604
Thanks

>>6523683
I lift, eat right - always have. Self-improve? I mess with some artistic stuff, music and pictures - try to stay creative and expressive.

None of it amounted to any more than what it was. That is to say, getting strong enough to deadlift 4 plates never got me anything besides the strength to deadlift 4 plates.

Making a piece of music or art never got me anything except the personal enjoyment of seeing it made. Fuck in some cases it caused more stigma than anything when people would say it sucks or was mediocre when you pour your heart into something and it just gets outright rejected.

>>6523766
I appreciate the sentiment. You should hold on to those memories and make new ones if you can. If you're able to get over that old stuff.

Me - lol, I just pine from a distance.

Pine is a great word. Like a tree. Tree that just sits there until it gets old, rots out from the inside and finally keels over.

>>6524474
This much is probably true. I have toyed with the idea of solitude - true solitude - in the last couple of years.

Intimacy would be nice. Total emotional, intellectual, and physical honesty with another human being.

Or maybe it's the biggest pipedream fantasy I've ever had.

Easier to give up and just apply the #00 buckshot to my brain. Far harder to persist with some absurd notion of hope like I'm going to "meet someone."

Not like him, lol. He was one of a fucking kind. Long gone. Holding out hope now is just as absurd as anything. Only hope left to have is in the unknown future.

And it's a lot harder to believe in.

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>>6524522
> that facial expression

>>6523766
>Everyone feels like a downgrade
Iktf

>>6524531
I clearly should have gone with chin down, eyes up:

https://youtu.be/z9dg8PI2sEg

>>6524522
you don't look bad. i'd date you.

even if you did spill your spaghetti, i'd just giggle it off and hug you

>>6524522

>>6624474 here, you don't look half bad to me. I'm depressed and hate my body though so I guess that even if you were as unattractive as you yourself think you are, I would still think you'd be hotter than me so whatever. True intimacy doesn't really exist, you have to put on a facade to attract someone in the first place and as is evident from the divorce rate among other things, once you believe you can be truly yourself with your partner they eventually start getting fed up with your shortcomings and will leave you anyway. I want to offer you words of support and try to make it clear everything is not as hopeless as you feel, but judging from what you've told here and my own experience you wouldn't believe it anyway; still have sympathy for you regardless bro.

>>6524685
>even if you did spill your spaghetti, i'd just giggle it off and hug you

I'm not socially inept. I can put on a face, act "normal" and all that. If I have a problem with anything it's being too honest with people, or expecting people to reciprocate that honesty.

Not like an assholeish "oh I think you look like shit" honesty, but a kind of honesty that if I feel a certain way, I don't want to lie and tell you I dont, or that everything is fine. I want to express all of the good and the bad, and I'd hope someone would trust me enough to do the same.

This guy - he was pretty honest. Honest enough that what I know is that we could be friends. Not intimate. Because I knew he was looking for something else - chasing something else that wasn't me or anything I could even become or offer him.

Makes you feel inadequate. Makes you bitter that you could get so close to something that felt so perfect only to find out the feeling wasn't and will never be mutual.

>>6524694
>true intimacy doesn't exist

Remember that thing I said about holding an absurd notion of hope?

Yeah. That would be it. The hope that I could find it. The hope I could find something that doesn't exist. Or if it doesn't exist, create it.