Has any transwomen actually given up on living as their identified

yes.

i've got a lot of flak from some people here for it though.

>>6413323
Yeah it's rare but it happens

>>6413323
I pretty much have, but I still take estrogen.

Yeah, 8 years in I decided I wasn't really cut out for transition. I pass but I'm not good at dating as a woman. I also realized that I was a lot more invested in the idea of being a woman than actually being one. I don't really wish I was born cis, just something... not quite male. In the end I got tired of dealing with the anxiety of being stealth and tired of dating straight guys. So I went twinkmode and have been moderately happy since. Still HRT with no plans to stop in the immediate future, but that takes care of the physical dysphoria, and thus a lot of the mental problems I had. Socially, I just realized that it doesn't really matter that much. Male or female, being alive sucks.

Ya i gave up on it. Until I get ffs then Im going to try again.

>>6414047
So was it entirely about the pressure of dating (and probably mostly being rejected by) straight guys and not "slipping up"?

Not judging I can totally understand that. Just wondering.
I think its hard to be in between if you have a normal job though and want normal things in life like a family...

>>6416498
I had FFS with Spiegel and I still look like shit... fuck my life.

>>6416555
Fugg. Really?

>>6416555
I pretty much ruled out Spiegel right away, because it looks like he's way too conservative. I've seen a lot of people who have gone through him and look barely different than they started.

>>6416683
Any other surgeons you'd recommend?

>>6413323
Probably those who got treatment instead of surrounding themselves with people who humor their mental illness.

>>6413323
Damn, that guys hot.

An issue I have is I just don't get along with alot of women, I really don't like putting effort into my appearance. I pass without trying, without make up and shit. But since i'm a girl now friendships with men are different, yet I still don't get along with women that well. So i'm not socially cucked.

>>6413323
The point of transitioning isn't to look pretty. If you can stand living as a man and not be miserable and suicidal the vast majority of the time, you're doing way better than a lot of us.

>>6414047
Your mental illness will be cured one day

>>6416509
Not entirely about dating, but I do feel more comfortable dating guys that aren't straight. I feel that the desire to date straight guys is just another method of validation for most transwomen. I don't really buy into the whole "feminine essence" thing and I think a lot of what drives transwomen to identify as women has to do with wanting to occupy a social niche that is stigmatized in gay male spaces which are overtly pro-masculinity. If you can't get gay guys to date you of course you're going to want to get with straight guys. Who else is going to accommodate your extreme beta behavior?

Fwiw I think its the same for transbians as well. Women don't date effeminate men because betas and omegas make unsuitable mates and poor providers. Gay/bi women are less bothered by feminine behavior (in women) so it makes more sense to switch genders, because the pressure to be provider and to procreate is lessened by becoming a woman. I think the shame that straight men who are effeminate are socialized to feel at their lack of masculinity is also part of the reason that we see more autoerotic impulses in transbians. A gay man whose femininity is stigmatized might still find a suitable mate in a straight man, but the prospects are worse for straight men who will incorporate that shame into their sexuality. But it isn't a guaranteed thing - transwomen attracted to men probably also experience it (at lesser rates).

>>6416555
I think speigel unfortunately has better marketing and lots of word of mouth. I don't think hes a bad surgeon but like someone above me said hes not aggressive. At least he gives you a fairly flat forehead though.. thats more than I can say for a lot of budget surgeons people fly off too that just shave and then yank the eye brows up (cardenas... Z..)

>>6417268
Ya i kind of accept that I won't get true female friendships because my energy is just different and girls are super sensitive about stuff like that compared to guys. Also I find most girls irritating. Even the peppy "im so happy and bright everyone pay attention to me". Their attention seeking behavior just makes me eye roll.

>>6418088
I agree with all this. But I will say I feel awkward being in gay relationship even if the guy is masc and cool/supportive of me being a feminine male. I still feel totally socially isolated and abnormal. I just want to be any other couple on the street.

In fact I am transitioning while still keeping my bf who is predominantly gay but likes twink/pretty guys and now he likes some mtfs because of me. Hes comfortable with whatever I am but I still want to be a girl.

>>6418781
Marcelo Di Maggio does aggressive forehead work and is trained in doing Type 3 bone reconstruction. He's also somewhat cheaper than a lot of US based surgeons. Based out of Buenos Aires, but Argentina is pretty nice as far as South American countries go. This is who I have my eye set on personally.

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>>6418088
So really what you're saying, and I agree, is that a major driver for transition among males is just that there's really zero places in society for feminine guys. Like >>6416509 points out, being an in-betweener is hard as fuck; men who are less than 100% traditionally masculine are shunned hard from society, and struggle to attract and form relationships with either sex. This is I'm sure why there are more MTF than FTM. Women have more leeway of gender expression, society allows them to be masculine, so they don't feel that pressure to pursue drastic medical and legal transitions. The problem with transition is that, as it seems you've found out, it still leaves you as an in-between person. Even if you pass and are stealth, that birth gender continues to impact your life in ways, one never truly becomes the opposite sex.
When you say male or female being alive sucks, it's really just being alive as a born male who doesn't feel comfortable to be 100% masculine is what sucks

>>6419004
Isn't he half the price of US surgeons?

>>6419856
Depending on what you get, yeah. Thats probably about right. My friend got jaw shave, chin recontour, forehead reduction, brow lift, nose and trach shave for 20-25k iirc? From what I've heard he does the procedures over the course of several days, allowing time for dealing with complications or revisions inbetween. Its a shame he isn't mentioned more. Most people stop when they hear he's in South America, but he has a good reputation and a lot of people to vouch for the results.

>>6419913
Doing each procedure more than once though vs just getting it done at once... Yikes.

>>6419974
Its not that he needs to do it more than once. Like most experienced FFS surgeons, he usually gets it right the first time. But surgeons are only human and you can't predict how your body is going to heal before they even cut into you. He does it in stages so that, as things begin to heal, he can keep an eye on your progress and make sure everything is as it should be.

To each their own ofc, but I like the idea personally.

>>6419004
You are smart for going to him. Smart girls go to him ;). I researched a lot. Hes #2 for me and only cause I'm in the US.

>>6413323
Im doing it except I never even started transitioning

>>6419913
No. He would do everything at once. The only reason to separate procedures out is because the case is so complicated that the patient would be under anesthesia for a dangerous amount of time. I am guessing this is the case for your friend..


Anyway. What people don't know about him is that he was offered to move his operation to Mount Sinai in NYC (premier hospital), which is funny considering lots of people discounted him cause of South America, when if he wanted to he could be an "American" surgeon.

Course if he moved to US he would jack up his prices for sure..

Also, most of his fellowship training was in the US, the craniofacial part.
Btw how did your friends surgery turn out? Were they a tough cause or already pretty before hand? Do they pass now?

>>6419143
Society infantilezes women up to a point where rape accusations are hardly called into question when its a woman accusing a man. When a man is stabbed to death by another man no one cares. Make it a woman stabbed to death and people question why society allowed such a thing to happen.

>>6414047
being fem was a lot of work and I just have a hard time being confident
and always being inferior to cis was bad

now just going fem/andro
and working on my presentation so that I can be male and feel pretty too

>>6418088

Wow thats a good theory actually. Some men with feminine traits seem to do ok though, so its kinda iffy.

>>6419143
>>6420489

True, but as of late the amount of FTMs has shot up dramatically. This had to led to a collective boohoohoo from TERFs, they seriously believe being a woman in 2016 is so much more horrible than 1956 or 1986 that women are desperate to escape it.

>>6416712
I've already decided that I'm going with Dr. Deschamps-Braly. But heads up, he's the most expensive FFS surgeon in the world AFAIK. I wouldn't even be considering him if my parents weren't helping me out.

I've seen good work from Van de Ven, whom I was considering before I realized I could afford D-B.

I've just seen too many Spiegel results that barely look any different than how they started, only 30,000 dollars poorer.

>>6413323
AGP since a young age. Feel bad about being a man on some days while on others I'm fine. Can't tell whether this is a superpowered fetish or more.

Given up on trying because I'm too deeply disturbed by my own AGP thoughts to go further. Will just repress forever which means being alone forever but look no problem Mount&Blade 2 is coming out soon and that's almost like having a relationship with another human being right?

>>6422917
Should clarify and mention I decided against transitioning in the first place.

I never tried to begin with.
When my Uni results come back, if I fail I'm going to hero.
If I don't then I'll put off heroing until the next semester (where I'm guaranteed to fail).

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>>6422863

>yfw you'll be 30 by the time you save up for Harrison Lee or D-B.

>>6422917
Same here, but decided to transition.

This stupid self-doubt is horrible. ;_;

>>6423418
Hold on sister. Mount&Blade 2: Bannerlord is coming. These are our house words.

>>6413323
I was on hormones for like 2 years, and as time went on I found myself liking the fact that I was this weird boygirl thing. I never went girlmode and never felt like it after being on hormones for a while. The hormones did enough to make me feel good about my body. I tend to dress pretty androgynously, have lightened my voice into this weird inbetween, and confuse people a shitload. Even though it gets negative reactions a lot I still like being like this, so fugg it, I see no reason to go on to girl mode.

>>6423418
>>6422917
kill me

>>6429585
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iObwq1WaxQ8

>>6429620
games bring me no joy anymore