Were you ever abused as a child, /lgbt/?

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Dad used to beat and molest me. Maybe a creepy uncle once when he lived next door.

Mother used to hit me until I was physically strong enough to defend against it. Still tortured me verbally until graduation.

I was once practicing for a piano recital with a track I have been practicing for month and she told me that I was way to bad to play it in front of an audience. When I told her I didn't wanna go then anyway because everything else I was supposed to play didn't mean much to me she hit me and told me that she won't have me embarrass her in front of the other parents. When I started crying she hit me again and told me that she didn't raise a faggot. I was 13 at the time, I'm gay now.

I performed the track against her will and got a standing ovation from the audience. After the recital she told me she didn't like it and I was lucky the other parents applauded out of pity.

I hate her. I sometimes dream of torturing her to death but when I wake up I'm just sad I couldn't have a normal childhood.

my parents spanked me and turned off the internet when me or my brother annoyed then (we live in a hamlet so this was worse then it sounds, I couldn't exactly go anywhere and I couldn't talk to friends), but overall compared to the shit I see I think I had a fairly decent childhood.

>>6327405
>extended family sexually abused me
>grand mother hooked on opiates, hit and yelled at me
>dad hooked on opiates, hit and yelled at me and my mother
>mother emotionally abused me, manipulated me on the reg, got genuine enjoyment from embarresing me in public
>groomed by a pedo online from ages 10-19. he was obsessed with loli and constantly harassed me for nudes and to look at his porn. made sure I was his only friend. urged me to do extremely violent things. Convinced me to come visit him, raped me.

such is life

>>6327446
I'm very sorry if that's true, Anon. Nobody child deserves that sort of treatment.
>>6327546
Jesus Christ, that's terrible

>>6327405
kinda in reverse
my dad is a very beefy guy (and he had me young), but after mom left he used to get drunk a lot and pass out on the sofa
one day after school (i was about 12) i came home and he was passed out just in his shorts, so i pulled them down and played with his dick a bit till it got hard and sucked on it a little
i didn't have the balls to try and get him to cum in case that woke him up but he was as stiff as a rod
i pulled his shorts back up and then went to my room and jerked off about it
he either didn't notice it or didn't mention it
i'm 23 now and i still masturbate sometimes thinking about it

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>>6327405
I was abused as a child by my step cousin. It's all kinda hazy but I'm mostly over the anger now. I found out that he was most likely abused by his father. Nowadays, I just try to help people as much as possible to maintain the positive cosmic balance. ;)

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>>6327405
My dad was an overbearing religious zealot that would occasionally beat me, my mom, and my three sisters. My two oldest half sisters all resent him still even though they try to act nice to him. My older full sister came out with severe emotional issues because of it and has his same stubborn and neurotic demeanor. I came out really timid with anxiety and depression, but most of that is due to me being trans. All of us still feel uncomfortable around him to this day despite his efforts to make up for it.

I don't think that him abusing us made me trans, but it did give me a very bad impression of men that is mostly gone now, but remains there in some subtle ways. My mom once said to me that me turning out being a trans girl was god's way of punishing him since he tortured his wife and daughters so much. Felt kinda shitty to hear that.

I guess. My mother and I lived with my mother's aunt and she'd discipline me by using open flame, needles, cleaning fluids, and some really hot paprika oil or whatever. She'd rub that shit on my hands so that I would sting my eyes when I wipe away my tears. Kneeling in corn was a thing a couple of times too. She would also pretend to be ill or have a heart attack and say it's because of me.

She was a creative lady, I'll give her that. My mother was absent a lot and always irate because of her job and the fact she hated that hag. So she'd usually ignore me, or yell at me, which would lead me to seek comfort from my great aunt who fucking stabbed my dick with a needle earlier that day. And she'd give me that comfort too.

They also lied about who my father was for some reason. They said it was this random my mom was dating, so when they broke up, I was left thinking my dad abandoned me. In reality, my real dad was always around. Can't say he did any parenting, but he was there.

I was also abused terribly by my pears in middle school. I'm talking shoving used toilet paper in my face, stripping my pants and underwear in front of everyone, smearing my face with lipstick for some reason, and of course being beaten up. I was picked on during kindergarten and high school too, but those were just words.

>>6327405
mom abused me physically and verbally all the time (usually for no reason either) until i got a job and moved far far away from her toxicity

>>6328059
Anon, I'm sorry. I hope you will find people who treat as well as you deserve to be treated.

>>6328059
how were u abused with a pear? anally? that's kind of h..hot

>>6328165
I have people who care about me. But I often find myself thinking that I'm not worthy, or that I have to do and be more to justify the kindness they are showing me.
There must have been something very wrong with me to have brought it all on myself. Most people aren't bad, so the chances of me just randomly running into so many dicks are low.
>>6328185
kek, meant to write "peers". I missed out on any anal abuse. I'm still missing out on it
>tfw no bf, etc

>>6327405
Sorry for anyone who was abused but completely happy, loving and well adjusted gay guy here. Prompted to come out by my mom at 12 and my entire family was just happy that I didn't feel alone anymore. School life was normal mostly because my dad was the superintendent, my brothers are absolute pit bulls, sisters are lioness and they didn't take anyone saying shit about their baby brother. Family is the best.

>>6328225
post your boipucci

a nice bubbly butt could explain a lot

>>6328391
B-but this is a family friendly christian board! Also, I'm flat as a pancake.

>>6328225
>thinking that I'm not worthy, or that I have to do and be more to justify the kindness they are showing me.
This can be a good thing because things like these can be a excellent source for motivation. Just try to stay reflected so you avoid just beating yourself up over nothing or setting your standards to unreachable heights.

>>6327405

When I was 10 years old, I used to molest my uncle, whom was in his 30's. He would come over and get drunk with my mom and dad, and later that night I would sneak into the living room where he slept, suck his dick and fuck him up the ass. I fucked him every single night he stayed over until I was about 12. I stopped because my dick got bigger and I was afraid that buttfucking him would wake him up. At that point I switched to fucking our dog when she was in heat (a white lab) until my dick got too big for her too.

>>6327779
hot
tell more

>>6328949
>When I was 10 years old, I used to molest my uncle, whom was in his 30's.

who*

And shame on you.

>>6327779
[spoiler] ...i think we need an incest thread [/spoiler]

>>6329033

how bout i come fuck you too you grammer nazi little faggot. i bet your ass could make me cum.

>i really want to fuck you up the ass

>>6327405
Dad was raised in an abusive household. He also went into the armed forces so then we had an abusive, PTSD ridden emotionally insecure person for a father. Used to abuse my older siblings when I wasn't born yet. When I grew up, I constantly had the mindset that if I did something wrong, my parents didn't love me. I had to be perfect for them to love me.

I used to cry and/or hide when I did something wrong because I didn't want them to find out I did it. I was afraid that this mistake would be the breaking point and I would finally lose their love. I used to hold in my anger because no one taught me how to express my emotions and I believed that good kids never got angry. It led to explosive anger that always ended me crying my eyes out because I hated my lack of ability to always smile and thought my family hated me.

Now I'm a struggling anxious college student that constantly thinks of suicide.

So much for my dad's effort of a perfect family.

>>6327405
I have been mentally abused and emotionally. Only rarely physically.

Physically and emotionally abused by my drug addled and alcoholic parents. Yay for family ;~;

>>6329086
>grammer

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Am I the only one who wasn't abused as a child?

By law you could say I was abused, in that I had a consensual relationship with an older guy before I was legal age.

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I have attachment disorder due to all the physical and emotional abuse, and the neglect my parents caused me.

My father was an alcoholic and my mother is miserable, angry, and passive-aggressive.

I used to get forced to go for rides with my father where he'd park his truck deep in the woods and get shitfaced. Then he'd beat me and make me get out of his truck and leave me there.

My other once left me on the side of a highway for almost 3 hours. I was 7-8 years old. No one stopped to help,

Got yelled at, punched, beaten, whipped with objects for no reason often.
Got my first black eye when I was in pre-school. Was told I was unloved and unwanted. Got blamed for my parents' divorce. Once thrown down the stairs once. The list goes on.

My father died of cirrhosis when I was 17.
My mother is still alive. But I think about her dying every day dozens of times a day.

I fear making relationships because my brain just tells me to keep away from people.

I have constant death fantasies about people around me. I don't love anyone and don;t want to be loved.

I am however in a relationship, my first. It's been two years and I struggle immensely with my feelings toward my BF.
I have trouble loving him and have fantasized about him dying more than once. I also have a lot trouble with him touching me or giving me any attention. I want him to dump me because he deserves better.
His entire family is Brady Bunch perfect and his life is wonderful. I hate it.

>>6329560
do tell, anon

>>6327405
No not really. I was spanked once but overall I wasn't much of a problem kid, if anything I was/am very sensitive. I was quiet and kept to myself mostly.

The thing is that I never really developed a close relationship with either of my parents. My father worked a lot (for which I was grateful) and my mother... well, she can have a bit of a temper because she's mentally unstable at times.

The worst thing I recall her doing was leaving me at a random hotel when I was learning how to swim. The lessons were being taught in the pool of the hotel and I had forgotten my towel so my mom didn't want the car to get wet. And so she drove off after yelling at me. She came back but I still remember that. I was in pre-k.

Like I said, my dad always worked and was always pretty irritable. The only times we talked (as far as I can recall) was him criticizing me or yelling at me. I just stopped talking to him for the most part. We share nothing in common and as clichéd as it is, I feel as though he knows nothing of me. My younger brother is even more distant from him. I at the very least will joke around with him.

They always fought over money, bringing us children (there are three of us) into the argument as leverage. Being sensitive and all, it hurt me pretty bad growing up.

It could have been worse. I could have been molested or physically abused but the lack of a feeling of truly being loved by your parents was pretty rough on me as a child. I'm 21 now and still feel rather apathetic towards them. My younger brother, like I said, is even worse. He and I however, get a long extremely well. We kind of had to since my older sister and I are fairly estranged as well.

I turned out to be a fairly decent gay guy and I'm fairly sure my brother is gay as well. Our family falls right into the stereotype of gay guys with daddy issues. My sister is kind of a mess though, not even going to lie.

At the very least, I can rely on my little brother.

>>6329570
Not much to tell, I was a horny little pervert, I got a math tutor in 6th grade, he was in his early twenties, I kept making advances on him, and after a while he accepted them

Never really was abused, but my sympathies go out to anyone who was as a child. That shit gives you legitimate issues well into adulthood which likely never go away in the vast majority of cases. It's so wrong to fuck a person up like that. Potentially seeing a child growing up in an environment like that makes me anxious.

However, I'll say that for a little while, my dad was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me while his mother was dying. He basically took it out on me as he was taking care of her. Alzheimer's. He could be a bit of a jerk to me, and this was back in one of my most emotionally vulnerable phases, back when I was first starting high school. It was the worst period of my life, probably, since I had to deal with that, compounded with my various other problems, like depression, being bullied at school, failing all my classes, etc. It stopped once she died pretty much. I still think about from time to time, though I've pretty much forgiven him.

My bro an I were both abused by our dad because we showed early signs of being trans (me) and gay (him). We were yelled at, starved, and he even tried to brainwash us into being "normal". The mental abuse was daily and lasted for 2-3 hours a day unless he was too drunk and passed out first.

He sent my brother to the insane asylum a few times to try to turn him "straight" and told me he went to visit grandma. I found out later he actually went to the asylum! At least I actually went to see grandma. Later I found out he didn't send me to the asylum because he figured I wasn't "worth trying to fix" so he just paid to try to have my bro fixed and yelled at me to try to scare me into behaving. I was denied a lot of medical treatment I actually needed growing up because I wasn't worth it. My body is pretty fucked up because of it.

He used to threaten me with being sent to the "looney bin" all the time. He forced me to watch "One who Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest" and other horror shows that dramatize getting mental health and told me that he's send me to the insane asylum and that I'd never be able to find love or a job because everyone would know forever that I was insane. I was told over and over how I should be an denied food and sleep if I didn't conform. I tried to tell doctors (the few times I saw them) and even police what was going on, but he said I was lying.

I was glad when dad died. Our parents were divorced, so we were sent to live with our mom. She didn't have the money to support us so we lived with dad. Now dad was dead we got death benefits, so she lived off dad's death benefits and used our inheritance to buy furniture and stuff for herself. We didn't get anything that was left to us. She laughed at me when I told her I was trans and said it was a "phase". When the money stopped coming in for me she kicked me out. I was homeless for awhile. My bro ran away with an older man at 18 so he wouldn't end up like me.g.

>>6329900
have you had any contact with your brother since?

I wouldn't really call it abuse because it was consensual but I grew up in a commune that believed in free love and I was in a relationship with a man in his 40s when I was 13.

>>6330058
who the fuck would fuck a 14 yr old kid?

>>6327405
I was not abused as a child
I'm bi

>>6330058
>I wouldn't really call it abuse because it was consensual but
its still abuse because he is a creepy old fuck who is taking advantage of a child.
>you were 13

MTF, nearly 30. I left home almost three years ago and haven't spoken to my father or older bro in all the time since.

I have three siblings. Our father is probably borderline, physically and emotionally abused us all (and, I only found this out recently, was likely hitting our mother too) but in different ways. My older bro and sister fought back and excelled academically, which forced him to back down from controlling their lives. Incidentally, they are both assholes. Be careful when fighting monsters, and all that.

Me and little brother though were way infantilized. My brother probably still is, and it's really upsetting because he's the only one I still get along with and maybe even genuinely like. I was a piece of shit to him growing up and I wish I could be good big sister to him now that we're supposed to be adults.

Our lives moved at his pace. I felt incompetent for the longest time and am still struggling to "raise myself". You should see what a sty my room is. I'm in class now to try and find an in to the career path I want, but when I come home I realize so much of my life is an unreliable mess. I don't ever know where to start unfucking it while also staying on top of my studies. I'm so worried all time, /lgbt/, that the fight is in vain and my every fuck up will prove to him he was right not to have faith in me.

>>6330072
Guys who are into skinny, vegan boys with long blonde hair who walk around naked?
>>6330091
The community was fine with it so I didn't really see a problem. It only became a issue when he wanted to marry me and my mom wasn't into that.

>>6330142
>walk around naked
what kind of "community" did you live in?

>>6330159
Its was a hippy commune that believed in living off the land and free love and all that shit. We had a tract of land we lived on and farmed. Even though we 'lived off the land' our major crop was cannabis that we sold mostly for rice, beans and oil. We didn't have a religion per se, but instead that everything had a spirit and soul. The commune wasn't a naturalist colony, but it had no qualms with nudity and many people were nude in the summer. As you could imagine there were not too many children so clothing I had was either a sarong or overly large clothing, so I was naked a lot, especially before puberty really hit me, which was pretty late do to my vegan diet with very little fats to turn into hormones.

>>6330215
Did you go to school? When did you leave?

>>6330227
We were home schooled. My brother got a girl pregnant when he was 16 and moved away about a year later to get a job because he wanted them to have a different life. He is 5 years older than me. He came to visit us when I was 19 and I left with him.

>this thread again
Yeah, about 75% of us were either beaten or molested.

>>6330559
Is the correlation between that and our being queer/trans or 4channers?

>>6330215
How old are you now?

How has your lifestyle/ideas changed since then?


That sounds pretty interesting. The whole having sex with a married 40 year old when you were 13 is just disturbing to most people in the world. Sorry about that anon, even if it doesn't bother you that much.

>>6330958
I am 28 now. My lifestyle is completely different than what it was on the commune. I imagine it would be akin to people who were Amish, you really can't live that lifestyle unless you are in the community. I don't consider myself a hippy. I am not vegan. It would be impossible to live without electricity, growing my own food, being naked all the time, in the outside world. I still smoke a lot of pot. I am atheist, compared to out old religion which was kinda christian based but every rock and tree and creature, has a life, has a spirit, has a name.

I would say I am more open than most people. I am not afraid to speak my mind, mostly because we would always talk about things openly. Which has gotten me into a lot of trouble because people think I am too blunt about things.

As for the man, he was not married, he wanted to marry me. At the time I loved it, because someone was giving me attention (again not too many friends my own age) and then he was satisfying me sexually, which was amazing for a 13 year old. We were lovers for quite a few years.

idk why i like posting in these threads
some sick sense of validation?
i was physically abused for most of my childhood by my older brother, who was always bigger and stronger than me
i was sexually abused by some of our neighbors when i was about 7
i had a sexual relationship with my best friend from about 2nd grade to 6th, and some neighbor boys and another classmate
i was emotionally neglected because no one could connect with me, i spent a lot of time crying under tables
i've always known i wanted to be a girl, but there was never anyone i trusted enough to tell them
when therapists would ask questions about sex and gender (even when i was like 5) i'd just act coy or play ignorant and never admit to how i felt
the closest i got was at about 15, my therapist asked if, since i was so depressed, if there was anything in my life i wanted to change, so i told him "everything but my eye color"
he looked at me funny for a minute, then asked "even your gender?" so i came back with "well, that would be different"
that was the end of that conversation
everything could have been so much better...

>>6331399
mainstream society seems to have a problem admitting that children have sexual urges

I wasnt abused as a child per se, but my father used to do games in which he would use excessive saliva in my mouth, I would cry and he would say its just a game. he would pretend to be a monster and put his tounge in his mouth. like a licking monster... never touched me in other places.. It pissed me though, since he didnt stop when i told him. Also someone told my mother ( a psychic that didnt know her) that his youngest son was raped.. and I was sent to psychological treatment as a raped child, even though i never felt raped.

>>6331811
>idk why i like posting in these threads
>some sick sense of validation?

Because the experience of trauma is often unique, you need to put it into context to understand it better and you do that by relating it to other people.

>>6327405
This shit grinds my gears man. I'll never understand people who value status over their own child's happiness.

>>6331811
How did you get raped by literally everyone?

>mother was an abusive cunt
>to both me and my father
>some deeply rooted hate of men I guess
>father decides to bail... just can't take it any more
>I'm on my own
>mother blames me for father leaving
>tells me neither of them wanted me
>usually uses a belt on me, eventually it doesn't even faze me
>one particularly nasty she realizes belt isn't cutting it any more
>tells me to take my pants off and stand in the corner with my legs apart
>figure the belt was coming
>she hauls off and kicks my balls from behind
>excruciating pain
>she realizes she has found my weak spot
>now when ever mad at me she kicks without warning
>one day I come home and uncle and aunt are there. mother isn't
>they have my stuff packed and I go to live with them

>>6327405
All trannies are abused
Its why we're all crazy

>>6331835
While I think mainstream people do have a problem admitting that children have sexual urges, I think they also have a problem with 40 year old men having sex with those children.

In truth, a lot of us lost our virginity at that age (13-17). It's very common, I wouldn't be surprised if most of us have lost it at that age (us being those in our society in general). But typically, we lose our virginity with people our age, not 30 years older.

>>6333522
>have a perfect childhood
>never molested

And yet you still turned into a massive cunt.
End it.

>>6333522
Careful with those edges, you'll hurt yourself

>>6333879
It's okay anon.

When she dies alone and penniless in a nursing home with no one visiting her, maybe she would reevaluate her choices in life.

Fuck her. You are much much much better without that bitch.

>>6330572
I wouldn't be surprised if being beaten and/or molested causes gay/tranny genes to be induced or something

>>6334048


That would prove that there is no gay-gene, there's just a poor soul with a fucked up childhood.

>>6327405
eh. i have vague molesty memories from a cousin (he was in his 30s) (maybe like twice removed? i forget how that works) when i was very young. but my mother means a lot to me. very supportive and loving. dad lived a continent away and died when i was 12. it hurt and all but i got out of it okay.

i think what mostly fucked me up is having 4 family members die in a year, and then my mom got cancer. i have some pretty bad medical paranoia now, but none of this really affected me being a bi dude. or maybe it did! don't know, don't care. i'm just glad my home life is supportive.

>>6327405
I abused my poor fucking cousin by stomping her calves and shins with combat boots when no one was looking. I was around 12 and she was 15. Did this repeatedly until my aunt started questioning the bruises on her legs. I feel like shit thinking about it now.
Only traumatic thing that happened to me was seeing my father die a slow death due to brain cancer, didn't even recognize me the last months of his life. I don't think that turned me into a tranny though.

>>6333107
i've got too much aspergers to relate with other people
>>6333510
very feminine personality
i had to learn how to walk, talk, gesture, and move like a man separate from learning how to do those things at all
>>6333954
that's true, even i'm not accepting of pedophiles
it's just the steadfast refusal to entertain the notion that children can be sexual

>>6329996
I have talked to him all of twice and seen him just once. In short, no. He ran off and pretty much has vanished. I have tried to stay in contact but he never returns my calls. Attempts at Facebook fail. He just sends a few bottles of booze every Christmas. It's so weird.

>>6333879
Holy fuck. I'm outta here. I can't stand stories like these anymore.
Good thing your uncle and aunt were there for you.

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> mfw I had a vasectomy a year ago
> mfw I've ended the family curse
> mfw I will never raise depressed children

I was on and off suicidal from about age 8 until I got treatment at 26. I see too much of my father (who never hit or molested me but messed me up so much anyway) in myself to have kids. I feel like a fucking hero for cutting off that world of possibilities.

>mom died when i was 3
>pa remarries when i'm 7 (later he'd say it was because he wanted a mother for us), we move
>stepmom blatantly favors her kids
>brushes me aside, treats me as a nonentity because i'm a strange, gross gremlin (apparently she told my father i'd "never be independent")
>ignores me almost entirely
>be picked for gifted classes in elementary anyway
>start getting into fights with her sons
>they divorce
>start pulling out my hair
>move back
>social difficulties in new public school
>worse area so the funding and curriculum is shittier, i sleep through classes and pass
>pa has me skip a grade forward into an expensive, private middle/high school
>pay for it with the dead mom social security fund
>don't have the marbles to keep up with homework
>get (re)diagnosed as developmentally behind
>pa starts screaming at me when my grades go lower
>makes accusations that i was falling behind to spite him
>has me sit and listen to him shout for hours until i agree with him
>tells me i'm too smart for this and he won't help me
>takes away all my things when the shouting doesn't fix the problem
>i have to sneak out to even draw on notebook paper
>he takes off my door
>get better with homework and hygiene as i mature
>have to bite my tongue whenever i'm around him

i move out in a year

Is it might not remember me about the rape?
I have very distant and distorted about a friend of my brother to touch my penis thoughts when I was about 9 or 10 years, but I have no feelings about it traumantes
Why I do not remember that?

>>6341432
I don't remember a lot of exactly what happened to me, I think it's probably normal for memories to fade

>grade 2 or 3
>get babysat, babysitter has a son
>he's fairly physically + emotionally abusive
>hitting, saying demeaning things, making me repeat them, etc
>escalates when he ties me to the workout bench in the basement
>tons of ties, tying different parts of me to it
>hands and feet are bound, and the footbind has a "leash" to the bench
>remove all but hands, feet, and the leash
>hop towards the stairs
>leash catches, i fall on my face and my teeth puncture my lip
>bleeding screaming heap
>babysitter comes and cuts me free

i didn't realize how dissociated that experience made me until years later, it was really intense. i blocked out most of this stuff until the last couple of years, when it all started coming back more fully. i never got therapy or anything, which was pretty surprising. i'm still recovering from that abuse in a lot of ways, my ability to trust people was damaged pretty badly, and for ages i couldn't stand up for myself at all.

probably not as bad as some of the stories here but whatever
>7 or 8 years old
>make friends with this girl across the street from me
>can't remember how old she was but definitely older than 13
>after a while things start to get weird
>she becomes obsessed with pretending to be lesbians
>she destroys her own scooter so she has to share one with me
>always rides in back and humps me from behind
>makes out as if im "corrupting" her or somehow converting her to the filthy gay lifestyle
>constantly touching me
>shit starts to get physical
>she gives me something to eat and makes it clear that shes fine if i dont want it
>decide i dont want it
>absolutely flips the fuck out
>starts screaming at me
>calls me a filthy greedy pig
>slams my fucking head down onto the table
>bleeding from the nose, crying and screaming but otherwise not much damage
>then shit starts to get real sexual
>she molests me three times
>forces me to grind on her with or without pants
>"you're real good at this anon"
>forces me to felate things over her crotch
>rapes me once
>decide ive had enough and never talk to her again
>last time i spoke to her she tried to break my arm

this shit still fucking gets to me. to this day i am absolutely repulsed by the thought of being touched by a woman, it bothers me to even sit next to one, of course people like to take advantage of my overreaction. i know its silly for me to still be reacting like this, but every time it happens i feel just as vulnerable and unsafe as i did back then.
sometimes i look her up on facebook, i wonder if she remembers me

>>6333977
That's how it will end. I won't even piss on her grave because it would be a waste of good piss.

>>6329561
Don't break up with him. You'll make him miserable and he'll blame himself. He likes you for a reason, even if you can't see that reason yourself.

I'm really sorry for you guys. I can hardly believe that some parents can be so monstrous to their own children.

My dad would verbally abuse and put down all three of us - my mom, older brother, and me. It was the only way he could feel good about himself. I was also pretty smart, and it made his ego feel threatened, so he deliberately sabotaged my efforts. When I played piano, he would sneak up on me and scare me. He'd mock my drawings. Apparently when he was in college he flunked his calculus course, so he told me that calculus would be impossible for me. He called my mother a nigger-fucking whore, even though she never cheated on him in 20 years of marriage. He was the worst to my older brother though, who he would scream at for the tiniest mistakes. My brother dealt with the abuse my becoming a Christian zealot, so I don't trust him with my being gay.

My mom wasn't actively abusive, but growing up the only time she spoke to me was to chastise me. Time and time again I'd come to her for emotional support or to confess something, and instead she'd get morally indignant and scold me. The only time she was warm to me was when she was feeling scared and she'd try to use me for her own comfort. That disgusted me. Eventually I just shut her out entirely.

Today I'm a NEET on autismbux. The description of a schizoid seems to fit me pretty well. My father and mother have both had life-threatening health emergencies in the last few years, and each time I feel nothing.

>>6327405
It's going to be a loooong story.

>Be me
>Being born because of my parents mistake while having sex
>They blame me for it
>Be 6
>Realize that I'm trans
>Drunk that were beating whole family since I even remember. I remember that he destroyed dinning table on a christmas eve with axe because he was drunk like shit.
He was beating me until I stopped breathing, even for something like bad writing.
He smashed glass bottle over my head because I didn't wanted to go to sleep when I was 8. My mom rushed with me to RE and they needed to patch my forehead. Hurt like hell, I still have scar. I'm thankful that I can cover it with my hair.
Week before my 10th birthday I were coming home. I didn't wanted to. I remember it as it were yesterday. 16 December 2005, strong winter with -26*C. But it was nothing to me.
After like a 2 hours, I came in and found him hanging from the ceiling in a living room. It was the best birthday present that I could have wished for.
>Be 12
>My mom and sister starts to be abusive. Not only verbally, but psychically too. Around the same time kids in a school started to bully me.
>Be 14
>I managed to run away from home. Living in a dorm with pretty cool roommates. New, private school. Kids were cool, life were looking great.
>Be 16
>I was going home. Some psycho destroyed back brake in my bike. Because of that, I had an accident. Only reason that I'm still alive was that I had my laptop and when my backpack fell, it covered my head before an impact. I was in coma for half a year and I got kicked from the school because the principal was mental.

>>6349862
Continuation:

>Still 16
>I needed to move back to this house. My sister got pregnant, so I had to live in a basement because only my room had enough space. At the same time I was glad that I lived in a basement, because it was separated from the rest of house and I never needed to listen to their bullshit. Because I didn't have a laptop anymore (it got destroyed when it protected my head), my friends offered me some computer parts for free. It was an old piece of junk, but at least it worked.
>Be 18
>My brother invited me to UK for a summer holidays. I worked in a shitty job, but far from brother (who happened to be abusive also...). After a 2 months I saved £1400 and bought a new laptop. In my country it was about a 7840PLN. But I had to pay 4000PLN because debt collectors come to me after my dad. But I didn't know that I don't need to pay that, and I fought back with them. Something that my mom should do 10 years ago.
I also went to GIC. Long way until HRT, but it was worth it. It surprised me, but after I came out to my mom and sister, they said that it makes perfect sense and they know it long time ago. My mom said that she doesn't understand it, but I see that she tries. After that, everything magically started to get better.
>Be 19
>I got my HRT in may. I'm now almost a month on hrt. Everything seems to improve, and I'm planning to move to the UK for good. In a moment I will buy a ticket, my friend offered me help with starting there. 24 June 2016 is a deadline.

After all, I'm trans, but I don't really care about it. I mean that I want to transition asap (but I know that it will take ~2 years until a full effects, and 4 years until I can afford SRS), but I don't socialize within LGBT. I don't know why, but everything just seem so wrong with these people. Almost everyone that I know accepted fact that I'm trans, they're supportive and helpful.
I'm straight, but really masculine guys both disgust and scare me. But It will work out, I'm sure of it.

>>6327405
My mom used to beat me and verbally abuse me for years. One day I snapped, beat her up and almost slit her throat (I was drunk and coked up). After spending 8 months in jail I moved to the other side of the country and haven't look back. I try not to think about it but there are always those nights where all your worst memories come back to haunt you.

>>6349862
>>6349866
Good luck and do your best!
It's good that things are improving for you

I was hit with a belt.

>>6350058
Congratulations
Unless there's more to your story, you've posted the least interesting thing in this thread

>>6350097

I don't remember most of it, but I remember feeling really scared.

>>6350112
Being beaten is a scary experience and I'm sorry it happened to you

>>6350149

Okay.

>>6350182
>Okay
This shit is why I hate even trying to express sympathy

>>6350055
Thanks, I bought a ticked 2 hours ago :)

I also talked with my mom about what she's going to do with my stepfather when I will come visit her in a year or so. She said that she will handle it. I never expected her to do it :D

>>6350272

What did I do wrong? I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me.

I've been emotionally abused by both of my parents. My mom did things that could have questionably been considered sexual abuse but it's pretty borderline. It never got physical, though.

>>6329561
I'm sorry, that's terrible. Every child deserves to feel safe and be loved.
I'll keep you in my prayers, anon.

>>6330058
Spooky.

>>6352313

I'm still here.

>>6350272

I'm sorry.

>>6334433
no, outside forces can cause genes to be shown.

If I had a kid that has a genetic predominance for schizophrenia and placed them in a stressful situation, there's a high chance that the gene would show itself.

However, if there is no outward force, it will not show.

Read a book.

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Nothing like most of this thread. Just a lot of emotional neglect and never being pushed to interact with anyone and being allowed to be a shut in.
>tfw guilty that you are probably more messed up than you deserve to be

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>>6327422
>maybe

>>6327546
>17 year old person thinks its ok to go to a pedos house

Charles darwin where are you

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>>6327405

I faintly remember one of my friends older brothers trying to stuff his dick in my face when I was younger and then when he didnt get what he wanted he farted in my face. I was half asleep at the time as I was staying over at the time.
I now have a really weird fetish that I dont really entertain for face sitting and farting...
Thanks asshole.

I had various "daddies" play with my genitals and finger me or rub their dick on me between the ages of 7 - 10, but I enjoyed it honestly. Didn't and don't feel violated. Then when I was 11 I met a 20 year old online and had him come over and fuck me when my parents weren't home, it was good and I don't regret it either

>>6327405
When I was a kid I actually abused my siblings and cousins. Never been abused myself but I think what I considered back then to be 'playing' with other kids did lead to my sadistic streak in bed today.

>>6356866
Even if you didn't feel bad about the experiences, they probably still warped your sexual development to make you desire men instead of women.

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>>6356866

Im honestly surprised you arent completely fucked right now. Then again, according to some idiots we all are.
Balls of steel anon...

>>6352313
>>6354393
>>6355283
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so upset about it and I should have left the thread open to respond
In general, "okay" is not an adequate acknowledgement of a sympathetic or emotional statement
Usually it's polite to thank someone for expressing sympathy

>>6355370
>predominance
Predisposition

i was raped repeatedly by the same person when i was 15-16. only a couple people know and most of them are still really insensitive about it and im scared its ruined my whole life

>>6357681
also, even though its been years i still think about what happened almost every other day and it immediately makes me want to die. damn

>>6327405
My father was very mean and angry. My mother was loving and died when I was 11. He would yell a lot, intimidate, and sometimes beat us and our mother. He also taught me to torture a lot of animals.

Yes, sometimes I wonder if this was part of why I transitioned. I'm not sure if the animal torture counts as abuse, since it wasn't towards me, and I, being a child, went along with it, thinking it was really a good thing.

>>6355370
That works for mental disorders because the stress activates unhealthy defense mechanisms that the person is predisposed genetically to adopt, or because the release of chemicals like cortisol causes damage to the brain physically. Why would stress activate a "gay gene"? What's the biological mechanism for that. It makes sense that stress would bring out a latent personality disorder or psychosis or something but not something like sexuality That's stupid.

I was beaten but it was an asian thing and even my cousins would experience the same treatment.

Grew up straight and okay. Every now and then I'd cry a little because my work life is shit.

>>6327405
not by my parents, but by everyone at my school, my neighborhood. i basically couldnt leave the house when i was in elementary school without worrying someone will yell faggot or beat me up. thats basically why i didnt have friends back then. I was experiencing verbal abuse on daily level, but only 2 times physical. a guy at my school punched me in the stomach twice in one week lol, my existence must've really pissed him off.

ITT: daddy issues.

I was pretty severely emotionally neglected and abused, as well as verbally and occasionally physically abused by my parents and friends. I was diagnosed with schizoid PD and I have no doubts or confusion as to why I turned out how I did.

>>6362633
I don't have daddy issues I have trust issues