FTM General

nice image choice mate
snake was definitely one of those dudes i wanted to become when i was a teenager. i sunk so many hours into mgs3.

Do people have opinions on truscum shit? I used to fuck with it heavy like 4 years ago now, but... it looks like it's mostly died out, at least from googling. It still bothers me when kids base their gender identity off of how masculine/feminine they are, but that's become the norm so much I don't say anything about my thoughts in public anymore. I don't know. I wish I could buy into the whole "you're whatever gender you FEEL like" thing because it would make it a lot easier to make "ftm" friends IRL

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>>5881506
I'm for it but I keep away from any sort of SJW/gender/trans related shit on tumblr. Pic related. It's really mostly just a bunch of impressionable teenagers who want to feel like they belong to something.

>>5881506
I dislike the whole if you identify as something, then that's what your biology is. It's ignoring that dysphoria is a major issue for a lot of people. People might get too hung up on parts, but I don't think they should be discounted completely.

I don't engage with people over it normally. It's mostly dumb teenagers who are trying to work shit out, or trying to fit it. If it makes it easier for people to work this shit out or gives people support and information they might not have at home, then that's not necessarily a bad thing.

>>5881506
Shit like this picture >>5881597 irk me.

>>5881395
Me but with Otacon.
His hair always looked so nice and soft, jelly as fuck.

So who has huge elongated clits, who has wacky surgical flesh tubes, and who has regular ol' meat flaps?

>>5881860
Kinda elongated clit.
It's still growing I think, I'm only about 4 months in. I am honestly amazed at how fast it changes.

>>5881867
I'm not that Anon but how much?

I'm also 4 months and 1 inch normal 2 inch erect and pumped

>>5881506
I can't say I agree that gender dysphoria is always a medical condition you are born with. I personally didnt start getting gender dysphoria until my late teens. The key is that I have dysphoria, though. I think if you don't, you aren't trans. That I agree with.

>>5881506
see >>5882019
I honestly do not understand how people think you can be transgender if you're not the least bit uncomfortable with your body or if you do not have some kind of social or physical dysphoria.

>>5881395

i've never been able to get into a mgs game... the whole stealth thing drives me crazy

>>5881506

i don't care if someone transitions without dysphoria, but i don't see it as the same exact issue... elective body modification and medical necessity aren't the same, so calling them the same exact thing and treating it exactly the same is just stupid

For four years now, a question has plagued me, and that was "but what if I regret it?". And yet after 4 years I still feel the same way about transitioning. Tonight, I put that question behind me. Im going to start living for today, not for "what if"s. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, Im going to make an appointment with a local transgender clinic. Sometimes you have to stop thinking about it and move forward. You know?

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>>5881395
i can never decide if i want to be snake or fuck snake
on a related note, jetstream sam makes me feel better about my thighs. good lord i want to squeeze them.

>>5881860
very slightly elongated. I had like zero clit before and now shit is almost jerkable???
Life is gr8 for that alone frankly
Fuck yeah hormones

Guy from last thread who had a break with SO and is mentally unstable. I had another flip out when he told me that "we could just be friends, everything would be okay, ect". But he's all I had. I'm on my last leg /lgbt/ I tried to do what anon said, and not get angry or react badly and try to be chill but I ended up doing the opposite and getting fucked up on prescription medicine, going to him being desperate and attacking him verbally..stormed out broke our photo by the door and deleted him from everything..along with basically everyone else we knew as a couple. My parent still hates me for being trans, I have no support or help. I'm modified at myself and how angry and strongly I react to shit. I just want to not be trans and crazy and for him to love me again. I'm afraid of doing something drastic..I don't know what to do /lgbt/ I might try to check myself in somewhere. I'm honestly afraid.

>>5882465
Its a longshot, but if you are in Oregon, ill be your friend.. Or we could kik or something. Then you'd have something. I don't have many people in my life either. I don't have good advice about the relationship, but I'm sorry to hear all of this has happened.

How long does it generally take for the t-acne to calm down lads

1 year in and I am a walking pizza

>>5882465

honestly if you're afraid, you should check yourself in somewhere

he's not at all abandoning you by wanting to be your friend, friends are still there for each other... your relationship doesn't have to be the same as it was in order for things to be ok, i get that it's hard, but you have to understand that there's a difference between abandonment and remaining friends... you're choosing to cut him out, not the other way around, and if that's not what you want and it's only anger then you need some time alone to clear your head

i get not wanting to be trans, i sure as fuck don't want to be, but if it's part of who you are at some point you just have to accept it... it's not something that can be controlled or fixed, it just is, but that doesn't mean you're doomed to have a miserable life with nothing of value in it... and there are things that can be done to make it easier to cope

there are people who find ways to live their life around both your issues, and even if it doesn't feel like it with help and time you could be one of them...

not having him right now doesn't mean you'll never have anyone, you can meet new people and form new relationships, and when you get things sorted out you might be in a better position to have and maintain a relationship with someone else who is more capable of dealing with your issues...

for what it's worth, if you need to talk i have no problem listening and if you would prefer to speak privately it's easy enough to work out... so if that's something you need it's fine, you don't have to be alone with absolutely no one... it's up to you...there's literally nothing you can say or do that's gonna turn into me saying "fuck this" and changing my mind, cuz i'm just not that kinda person... i'm pretty damn patient with people, and i can put up with a lot... i know it isn't the same as actually having someone there, or having the relationship you're comfortable in etc, but it's the best i can do for you

>>5881355

Do ftm peoples typically hate mtfs? I have this mutual on social media and he was ranting about how he was being treated like shit by his feminazi friends and male friends alike. I tried to validate his identity and cheer him up but he called me a misogynistic piece of shit .__.

>>5882524
sounds like he was just retaliating based on his general feelings about what he's experiencing, give him some time to calm down and maybe he'll apologise and see you're not the one attacking him

and while there's always going to be outliers, I'd say that generally speaking ftms don't hate mtfs. you're our sisters and we should stick together, a bit of community infighting is just inevitable when it comes to such emotionally charged subjects

>>5882524

i don't have anything against transchicks... idk, they're the same as any other woman as far as i'm concerned, and i love women so eh...

though it sounds like you found out why people probably treat him like shit, sounds like he's kind of an overly sensitive angry asshole... just saying

>>5882524
Sounds like you've got yourself a tumblrina SJW.

Usually the only trannies hating other trannies are SJWs (and usually they're not really trannies) because of fucking oppreshun olimpics.

In fact if we're going by SJW behaviour I'd say MtFs hate FtMs more because "they have it easier" and "get male privilege".

Remember, this is a huge group o people we're talking about... You can't really generalize people. It's like an alien asking "do humans like ice cream?" Shit, most do, but that doesn't mean everyone does. This is billions of people we're talking about. Most/a few =/= all.

Yanno what i mean? Sorry, I'm stuck on the toilet rn and kinda lost myself there but yeah I hope yall get the point

>>5882614
This, Ive known quite a few trans women that were really rude and condescending to me because "trans men are always misogynistic", "trans men have it easier", and they were all SJW af. Very toxic.

happy st drinking day

I'm here because I need help. I dated an ftm for many years, he was petite and kinda feminine but had a masculine voice and generally passed, and last year he doubled his dosage. I really noticed a huge change. He'd always grown kind of cold and distant after injections, even treated me kind of like shit all the time but I brushed it off because when he's not that way we're practically soulmates, creative minds, who write together and love our work. After the higher dosage he started craving more social activity but was basically a huge dick about it, could no longer find 5 minutes a day to tell me what's up, we were temporarily long distance after moving back in with parents so he could .. be with his older cat. And I wasn't about to move into his parents' basement again or force him into a lease with me when we needed to build up some savings again after college. He started doing MDMA a lot, doing overnight camping trips with his friends to do acid, drinking every night, typical male puberty bullshit that I've already been through as a girl and really immature and kind of a dead end path IMO but I kept my mouth shut and tried to stay a friend. Being ignored so much and him being short with me really got to me though, so one day he flips out on me and says we should break up.

Cut to 8 months later, I'm still in love with the guy I met years and years ago, I'm sure that we're soulmates, and every few weeks he gets chatty with me and acts like everything's good and he didn't rip my heart out and tear it into bits. Then after a really affectionate "missing you" type of night he drops off the face of the earth again. I find out recently that the pattern totally coincides with his injections, and now I'm just, having a breakdown I guess, realizing that the fucking roids he is taking are burying the person I love, causing high risk behavior, and a really rude and aggressive attitude. He's been calling me unstable this whole time but I only react to what he gives me...

>>5882701
Is this a normal thing FTMs go through? The personality shift I see when it's been two weeks vs. a few days after the injection is disturbing and extremely upsetting. It's like I know two different people, one person with whom I can communicate, and one who views me disdainfully for being a female. He considers himself gay now or something, but still tells me I was the best fuck he ever had or some shit. I'm just so lost. I wish I could just totally forget about him but then when he's low on roids he is sweet and I just can't say no to him. I'm so tired of this.

>>5882701

i'm not understanding what you need help with... unless you're looking for a rebound...

>>5882709
you probably want to try and work on getting over him, I know what it's like to still be in love with someone when their personality/lifestyle has become detrimental to you and in the long run it's the best option

I don't know about the fortnightly injections thing because I'm on a 3 month cycle, but my personality isn't that different if i miss a shot. It might not just be the t but him working through the whole package, all the physical and social aspects of what kind of man he wants to be

I'd say give each other some space, as much he needs to work on himself as a person you'd do best to put him out of your mind for a while and focus on yourself

>>5882428
I was recently thinking what good T would do to someone who doesn't have much to begin with. If it works for you, good to know.

T just sounds more and more magical.

>>5882709
Huh, weird. I'm sorry you have to deal with feeling like you've lost the person you fell in love with. I don't know what to say, though; I can't relate to that at all. I've only been on T since just before the beginning of the year, and I do weekly injections (what's the point of doing them every two weeks instead of weekly, anyway? I never got that), but I've gotten so much more relaxed and happy and don't notice any sort of mood swings or personality shifts.

I used to hate exercising and listened primarily to sludge and doom metal (the slower and heavier, the better) and now I love working out and indulging in bad '80s and '90s nostalgia music (the catchier, the better), and I'm actually a happy, functional person now, but I don't think I've started treating others differently. I'm clearly not an objective, third-party observer when it comes to myself, though.

Do you know what kind of dose of T he's on? Is he self-medding? I'm seeing from some bodybuilding forums that a lot of guys are taking like 200 mg/week. I'm on 100 mg/week (0.5 mL subQ injection of 200 mg/mL testosterone cypionate), and I have no idea what 200 would feel like.

Bottom line is, if he's treating you like shit, you shouldn't take that and keep coming back to him even if you love the person he used to be and who he still is on occasion. I know you can't just stop being in love with someone like turning off a light switch, and, ultimately, of course, it's up to you, but I'd start trying to distance myself from him if he keeps acting like that a lot/most of the time. Especially if he considers himself gay now. Sounds like ya need to move on, sorry to say.

Easier said than done, I know. I'm still trying to move on from the guy I felt like was my "soulmate." He's 100% straight and me transitioning was a dealbreaker, even though he understands that this is best for both of us.

>>5882701
>>5882709
>>5882735
Fuck me, this kind of shit terrifies me about going on T. I really don't want my personality to fucking change at all. I don't want to lose my partner over it either.

Sort of reiterating her question, but have any of you other guys gone through any kind of personality shift? I also fear that I'll end up less affectionate. I'm not saying men can't be affectionate obviously, but I just know how differently hormones can affect that kind of thing.

>>5882830
I'm definitely more stoic when it comes to affection but I've become more confident...my inner personality hasn't really changed, my values are the same I can just express myself differently.

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>Sexual orientation: Transgender
Why do people not understand how this shit works? It's not complicated...

>>5883114
Should have mentioned that the screenshot came from a professional marketing research survey.

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>>5883117
And again. I don't understand how so many people don't understand the difference between your fucking gender and your sexual orientation, and I also hate that "transgender" is often listed as its own gender. REEEEEEE why am I so angry today

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>>5883114
>>5883137

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>>5883161
Fucking lol, I really hope that's a joke

Oh and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfBVIHgQbYk
SHE BLUE NOW
thank you for listening to my angry rants, JLaw
my body is ready for this movie to be [spoilerthatdontwork]absolutely mediocre[/spoiler]

>>5882892
Do you or did you have a partner though, and did it affect anything between you two?

I mean, I certainly wouldn't mind hormones toning it down a bit for me either way. Normally I'm not at all affectionate, but when I find the right person I end up becoming disgustingly hopelessly romantic.

>>5881597
>nonbinary
>ftm
Why do people do this?

Anyone feel their personality change on T? As in getting more callous or less empathetic? I'm worried that T will turn me into an asshole.

>>5882701
how old was he?

>>5883559
Ok. I've read some of the thread now. Ignore this question. Good timing for me I guess.

>>5883137
When I see "transgender" listed as its own gender I assume that whoever wrote it thought it was a synonym for nonbinary. When I sign up for sites like that I never know what they mean by trans

>>5883627
Sometimes it does seem like well-intentioned normies think trans basically means what we call non-binary. And obviously the other ones just think we're degenerates.

>>5881597
Honestly the thing that pisses me off the most about this is that hashtag abuse.

>>5882510
Like acne from first puberty, it's impossible to predict when (if ever) it will completely go away. If you're really struggling with it, I would recommend talking to a dermatologist.

>>5882701
That is not normal. I don't notice any significant mood changes based on my injections, and if anything they've made me more stable. I'm not sure if there's anything you can do at this point considering how badly he's fucked up your relationship, but he should probably talk to a doctor about that.
But really, if I were you I'd jump ship. I know it's hard, but you deserve better - clearly you're worth more than he's giving you if you've been so loyal through all his bullshit.

>>5883727
Is there any correlation between acne on T vs acne during your 'first' puberty?

>dav wants me to write about my own gender experience
>hate writing about self and have no idea what to write

>>5883764
not that i know of, i had zero acne during first puberty and it exploded during second

>>5883764
Not really. First puberty screwed me over hard with acne, second time 'round it was much milder and all I get now is maybe a zit or two on my face a year in. Backne on the other hand is more, though the binder is also to blame a bit for that...

>>5882480
I'm not near Oregon and I don't really have kik. I'm sorry you don't have people in your life you deserve people in your life..and thanks for talking to me.

>>5882511
I went to the psych part of the hospital and they let me talk to someone. I am closeted for most of my trans stuff so people just think I'm some emotional bitch who got dumped. It honestly feels dehumanizing being emotional or not masculine. They gave me a shot of ativan and sent me home. Now I'm just tired. But I've pretty much been asleep the past week. It was my week off, we were gonna spend it together. I'm really fucked up. This cycle always happens with me and I was really wanting him and me to be happy together. I have problems letting go and moving on. I don't even know if I fixed myself he would change. I'm stressing him to the point he hurts himself. He keeps texting me and other people we knew. Feels bad.

I want to accept being trans but I can't help but think that way. I always default to thinking my life is always going to be shit, so it's better if I wasn't here. Or that I'm inconveniencing people I'm out around. I constantly feel like this fake person at work and everywhere else and I just cannot handle or know how to manage my feelings. I'd talk to you off thread but I still feel like I'd be imposing. I really appreciate your reply to me.

>>5882701
>>5882709
Have you thought that maybe he's just a huge asshole and not the 'soulmate' you thought you had?

>>5882830
>>5883559
This roid rage stuff is bs if you're taking your normal doses. I don't know what the dosage that ftm is taking but 'roid rage' comes from leveling the testosterone levels beyond what is 'normal' for cis men. Then again I have also doubled my dosages before multiple times(not on purpose, but i'd forget if i took my shot or not so i'd end up just taking it again just in case). I felt no different so I'm not sure what the difference between what we take for testosterone is and what actual 'steroids' are(if there is a difference at that).

But my personality did change when I went on T. I am more stoic(i used to be a roller coaster of rapid emotions and anxiety) and am much more calm. I'm less irritable, it's pretty tough to piss me off or get me down in the dumps. I can shrug things off much easier, and instead of crying when I'm angry I can keep it cool. I was shocked to find out I could even keep calm when confronted by something else raging at me. I can't say anything about my affection because I have always been very emotionally independent and have never liked lovey dovey shit but instead of being annoyed by clingy people I can just deal with it. I saw no negative change in my personality and really it was all for the best. I asked for some brutal opinions on my "before and after" personality from some of my friends and in general it was me being more 'confident, relaxed, just a regular asshole instead of a huge asshole, you don't flip your shit anymore over everything, not worried about bringing you around new people because of your anxiety' etc.

>>5884318
(cont) I think yeah it's possible for some people to get more irritable/angry on T but just from my experience and the two ftms I know in person it hasn't been like that for us. I will say though that I do get way more amped up when I think someone is looking for a fight like a dude who confronted me in a store because apparently I looked like someone who has been putting nails in his car tires. He backed down and while he probably could have totally destroyed me, I was so fucking ready for shit to go down.

>>5884008

you wouldn't be imposing... it's not like i have a ton going on, most of my day has just been puking (unfortunately not from alcohol), sitting in a car smoking, and helping my s/o study... nothing to really interrupt, and you really can't bother me... but if you'd feel less imposing talking here that's cool too, but it's an open invitation if you change your mind or ever feel different...

i'm glad you at least tried talking to someone, but i'm sorry it didn't do much...

it sounds like he had his own issues, and you're putting all of them on yourself and your issues... but i doubt everything was just you, that's not really how relationship issues tend to work

what did you tell the person you saw? did you explain that you're feeling suicidal?

>>5884318
This. I've been on T for 2.5 years (and my levels were all over the place for the first year) and I haven't experienced any mood or personality changes, not even when my testosterone levels were DOUBLE the normal for cis men my age.

I'm more confident because I don't feel like hiding under a rock when people look at me any more, and I can socialize without wanting to run off and cry in the bathroom, but other than just feeling better about myself and not feeling shitty all the time I haven't changed at all.

Maybe my experience has something to do with my age (28 when I started), or because I was already an emotionally stable person before T (I wasn't happy, but it was stable unhappiness at least). But honestly I think it's silly to jump to the conclusion that testosterone causes emotional changes when there are so many other things happening during transition that are much more likely to have an effect on mood.

>>5884743
It doesn't really matter to me if it is on or off thread. I just really don't want to post my infos because odds are someone knows who I am and I'm pretty embarrassed.

They really didn't give me a lot of time to talk somebody. My hospital is shit. I really felt on edge being in there because someone I was close to just died there like a month ago.

I know he has a lot of stress, and I would dump all my shit on him, even when I tried not to. But he would never talk about his shit. He would try to stop me, and I usually get in this panic state where it's just full force flipping out about something and I usually can't be stopped. He said it wasn't just me, but I really feel like it was. He said he should of spoke up, but the way I remember it tried to, I just wouldn't listen. But my memories are kind of shit too. I forget a lot which really depresses me.

I told them that I felt suicidal and that I had broken up with someone because of how I behave and that every couple of days I'm having some sort of a breakdown. Like I said, I rarely go into the transgender stuff specifically. I used to see therapists at my uni and I would always put "gender difficulties" and very few of them even go near that topic. My state is very antiLGBT until you get to the bigger cities and I don't want my care to be affected, but it felt like he didn't get the whole story from me.

For anyone researching phallo, I found this post with a list of blogs by guys who had phallo. Maybe could be of use to some people here:
http://ftmphalloplasty.tumblr.com/post/127662387608/
That whole tumblr is full of good info.

I'm pre everything with a girly skull shape, weak jaw, huge eyes. I pass well with the Bieber cut because it hides my forehead/jawline and makes me eyes seem smaller but I'm in my mid twenties and I don't like wearing emo teenager hair. Is there another cut that works? I tried doing a fade and going super short and it was a mistake, I do not pass at all with hair this short. I do look older though.

Also, if I've survived with the dysphoria this long can I assume that I'll survive indefinitely

>>5886205
>better cut
>pre-everything
>girl skull
Not really bro, sorry. Try looking at Asian haircuts. Especially hard right now since short hair is trendy with girls atm.

>if I've survived with the dysphoria this long can I assume that I'll survive indefinitely
You can assume what ever you want, chances, reports, and reality all tend to disagree that waiting solves dysphoria... That said, if you can exist as a cis woman, do it, and please don't turn TERF on us.

>>5885845
Thanks for this. We should add this to the OP.

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>>5886282
Eh, thanks anyway. Do you mean stuff like pic related? "Asian hair" is getting me pretty disparate results.

I don't think it'll ever go away, but if it doesn't keep getting worse I can keep living with it. The older I get the more it seems like it's too late, anyway, I've lived so much of my life as functionally a dyke so. And of course not.

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>>5886205
You could try an undercut. Your girly skull would show, but not your forehead.

Alternatively, you could go with a gothic Robert Smith 'do, if youre into that.

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>>5886755
Pic related.

Also, one thing i used to do is buzz my hairline into a more masculine one. Its a pain in the ass but it did seem to help a little.

how do you guys feel about this song

https://youtu.be/MxEw3elSJ8M

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>tfw Osomatsu is over in two more episodes

RIP in peace sweet prince. Now I'll have nothing to watch.

>>5885287

alright, figured i'd offer since you were talking about having no one to speak to + had to let you know it wouldn't be imposing since you said it'd feel like it + i know i don't like discussing a lot of personal things with so much of an audience, but suit yourself... if this works for you, i'm fine with it

a lot of hospitals are shit unfortunately, i know all of the ones i've been to have been anyway... but are you feeling any better or are you still scared for your safety?

some people just aren't good at sharing their problems, and i doubt he'd care or tell you otherwise if it was all you... you're just blaming yourself, but the reality is it's extremely hard for two people with issues to hold onto a relationship sometimes...and he does obviously care about you, at least based on what you're saying..you're just (understandably) hurt right now...but you're also pushing him away instead of allowing him to be there for you in the way he feels like he can, while simultaneously saying you don't have him at all... you really gotta step back a bit and sort out what you want and how you feel, and honestly just let some time pass so the feelings aren't as fresh and you can be a little more objective in the way you deal with things

i'm curious... you've talked about a lot of issues that aren't you being trans as reasons why you're having the issues you're having and why the relationship didn't work out etc, but you seem pretty stuck on the idea that being trans is the root of the problem... why? i mean... no doubt it doesn't help, and i know it's hard and can affect a lot, but... i mean... it's never the biggest part of all of someone else's problems... not judging, i'm just wondering where you factor it in and why cuz you mention it, but it seems out of place... and i'm not sure if it's just that you're not used to talking about it or if you're connecting it to everything even things it doesn't affect (which is a common thing for a lot of trans people)

>>5886205

in my experience, it just gets worse untreated... you get used to the discomfort to an extent, but it only gets more depressing and uncomfortable, it's more just... easier to be less emotional about...

but i'm also in a position where i don't have a choice in treating it, cuz i would've years ago (just bad circumstances and whatnot), idk your situation or how you deal with/handle shit...

my hair is about shoulder length, and it works out for me with passing though for me it's usually more that people can't really tell and then don't address me as either... you should probably check out hair styles that are a similar length to yours, and see what you like... and if you look young then you look young, that's something you can't necessarily fix

>>5887025
Yes I am feeling better. A lot happened in the few hours I was away. I haven't slept since the drugs wore off and I'm kind of tired. The hospital paid for it though on what little charity pay I had left.

The reason I mentioned trans as one of our issues is that he is cis/bi and I'm the first trans person he's ever been with. He has a friend who is mtf before me, so he wasn't ignorant. But a lot of my outbursts will be because of dysphoria and a lot of my depression and anxiety is from being trans. My life isn't really bad. I will have nights where I'm bent on self harm or trying to make parts of my body disappear. Sexual and physical tops most of my feelings. Hhe doesn't know what to say or do when I get like that.

He came over last night and he was intent on confirming that we were friends and that he was a douche/sorry. I sat him down and got kind of angry, not flipping out..I was still kind of chill from the medicine. Told him that our relationship needed work and if he was going to give up on us over something we could beat, I'd be disappointed. We're both going to a counselor and told him flat out to stop keeping when he feels bad from me. I'm going to have to find some other way to vent...taking a break until April, and we agreed to try and if it gets bad again, cut ties.

I think I kind of made him feel bad tonight; he was happy and wanted to do frisky stuff but then we got to the part about taking off shirts and he asked me about it. I told him that it's my body and I hate it, but yeah it's mine and he didn't really get it and I told him because it wasn't like his. I think I made him feel awkward and I cried for a bit. I've not the money for top surgery and my binder does very little. Small things. We went to bed on good terms..I just feel like an inconvenience and like he's not really 100% on what my limits are and while he wants to support me, said he feels a lot of pressure and doesn't know what to say so he stays quiet to not make it worse.

>>5884318
Wow that's actually really fucking reassuring and I hope that's how it affects me too. Right now I'm just a constant fucking ball of anxiety and I over think the living hell out of everything. My partner could tell you that much. It drives me absolutely fucking insane and I just want to feel like a normal person. The worst part is that I know I'm being illogical but I can't fucking stop it.

Estrogen seriously feels like poison to my personality. I'm not sure why testosterone ever worried me when it seems like E messes with who you are far fucking more.

>>5887133

glad you're feeling better... it sounds like the trip to the hospital was for the best then since it allowed you to really talk to him... hopefully you can both work shit out...

it just seems like your outbursts are the bigger issue i guess, i understand that they're trans related... but clearly not always... that's what i was getting at i think, idk... i'm a little drunk now, i couldn't drink yesterday so i'm making up for it today...

9:30 am and 2 shots if jager in, about to smoke...

i'm glad you both were able to talk though, and that you didn't do anything stupid before you had that opportunity

>>5887322
Thanks for talking to me, you've actually helped me a lot by listening. Our friends circle was complicated because I was always the listener but I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. So thank you, really.

And a drink sounds really nice actually, can't say I've ever smoked though. I hope you're having a great day or that it will be. If you want, my Skype is [email protected] and I'm not really as self conscious about posting it. I just have a lot of problems asking for help and the thread/anonymous helps or I'll censor myself.

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>figured out no-hands fapping

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>>5886983
>tfw osomatsu-san is the first anime in a long time that wasn't old as balls that I actually liked
>tfw the season's almost over

Unrelated but I'm going to a con and cosplaying as him today
>god bless femmy anime boys because they're the ones my pre-t ass can get away with cosplaying

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>>5886205
why don't you just grow out your emo hair like onision? hes 30 and looks normal
or something like pewdie pies

>>5887988
You should post photos! Not of you if you don't want, cons are great.

>>5888044
Not the person you're speaking to, but I'm also preT and probably pass like shit, mostly because of my chest.
This is the haircut I try to go for...and I'm a bigger guy. I dunno if that's the best way for me to go.

>>5888044
People of either gender think they're less attractive than they really are. My boyfriend doesn't think he's attractive at all, but I definitely think so.

>>5881355
How can you tell if you pass in public? no one maams or sirs you until you are 60

>>5888100
i was just posting for the hair onision is a sociopath

>>5888101
I get sir'd/ma'am'd all the time.

>>5888105
Yeah I wasn't really directing that at you, more toward his comment.

>>5888101
Usually if people think i'm younger than i am, i pass.
I'm 19, but whenever i go to the dmv they ask if i brought my mom with me. And i don't look like a young girl so i assume they think im a young male

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>>5888110
Yeah I can pass as a young-looking but adult butch dyke or a teenage boy. I don't know when I'll finally be able to start passing as an actual man.
>tfw people think your birth year is a typo and that you meant '98 instead of '88
>tfw approaching 30 and people don't generally think you're even old enough to have graduated high school
I feel like a fake adult 99.5% of the time.

Also, unrelated, I don't know why I actively seek out and read shitty things on the internet, but it's seriously an addiction and I can't stop doing it. This is today's feel-bad page: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/12197310/The-last-thing-we-need-is-transgender-days-for-primary-pupils.html
It's not the article itself, it's the comments. I don't know why I ever read comments, but, like I said, I can't seem to make myself not look.
>hurrrrrr trans doesnt real
>same handful of tired "arguments"
>general retardation
I try to laugh at it and/or brush it off, but it accumulates and, every once and a while, I get really fucking angry at the world and don't want to be here anymore.

>>5888352
I get the youth discount on public transport. Age limit: 16. I'm almost twice that age. Lol.
Dude, don't read those comments, no matter what the article is about. That stuff is cancer and will ruin your day no matter what.

>>5887895
Cis male scum here, would that work for me too? What did you do?

>>5888352
Comment sections attract the worst people. I think it's because people with relevant knowledge can't stomach all the bad faith and disingenuous arguments. So the sane folk don't bother and the comment section is left to fester and eat itself.

So don't read the comments. You can't put out even one of the innumerable fires, but you can decide not to sniff the noxious gases. Be safe in knowing that if you do it's always a little bit worse than you had imagined.

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>>5882416
That's the spirit.

>>5888426
>>5888522
I tell myself "don't read the comments" every time, and every time, I fail
>tfw horrible self-control
also applies to buying cheap shit off of eBay in the middle of the night

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>>5887988
>>tfw osomatsu-san is the first anime in a long time that wasn't old as balls that I actually liked

Same. Also damn anon I wish you were my bf. I'd love a cutie who can cosplay as Totty.

>>5887895
What the fuck dude you don't just post that shit and not pass on the ancient knowledge.

>>5888105
I recently read some excerpts from his books and it somehow made him seem all the more dangerous. It set off more red flags than that Jack webcomic.

>>5888450
>>5889016
kek. It's no elegant technique, I pretty much just lie on my front while in bed and squirm to work out the angles until something happens. Less aware of my junk, easier cleanup, it's all good.

>>5889055
I'm not sure if this is pathetic or adorable, anon.

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>>5889090
Most things about me are one or the other so I don't think it really matters.

>>5889055
So just sorta like humping your bed?

>>5889055
Probably weird and TMI, but whatever. Since starting T, not only have I been waaay more horny, but I now have to use a pillow and do some humping/thrusting in order to get off. I wasn't expecting it to change the way I did things like that. And, typing this out, I'm realized how incredibly bad I feel for my pillow and ashamed of abusing it so, which is probably also weird.

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>>5889133
What you don't know is that your pillow is totally getting off on it too.

>>5888044
>>5888076
I'm scared of something that long, that looks like a literal female cut to me. I can't see it helping me pass. It only works on him because of how masculine his face is.

>>5889171
Yeah, I think his big eyebrows and big chin make a big difference.

It's difficult to say what would suit you without seeing a picture. You could post a look-alike.

>>5889125
Guess so. I'm pretty sure folks here have mentioned doing something like that but, hey, new development for me.

>>5889133
>TMI
Come on, we're all friends here and we're all disgusting. I didn't get anywhere with the pillow but abusing my mattress seems just fine. I'm not even on T, just bored most nights.

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>>5889202
>big
>big
>big
Excuse me, it's late.

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>>5889202
For better or worse this is pretty accurate, minus the haircut. My cheeckbones and jaw are both a little bit wider than this kids'.

>>5889133
>>5889055
Been on t for a year, it has also made me humpy. It kills me wanting to fuck a cute guy and dominate him kindly but with no penis. Strap-ons seem weird but I guess it's my only choice.

Does anyone else do the fandom thing?

>>5883559
Am AMAB, have been on T since the day I was born and I can confirm I am an asshole.

>>5889385
That doesn't mean a thing. If you haven't been on E then it's essentially just you.

>>5889400
i think that's the joke

raises a good question though, prior to puberty how much in the way of sex hormones are we actually subject to? not sure if low dose or nothing at all

>>5889016

double cross your legs and squeeze your thighs together

>>5889409
It's about the same for young kids. Boys and girls have about the same levels of estrogen, not sure about testosterone for little girls though.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/246863-normal-testosterone-levels-in-boys/
http://www.livestrong.com/article/297427-estrogen-levels-in-children/

Its a little difficult finding information on sex-hormones in children when most of it is just talking about sugar levels or going on about child sex abuse makes children mature faster.

>>5889435
Mature faster as in they hit puberty earlier? The implications of that are fucked up.

>>5889400
thatsthejoke.png

>>5889435
cool info, thanks anon

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>>5889450
>>5889409
I'm drunk

>>5889332
What

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>>5887988
>>5888076
>>5888946
I took this pic when my hoodie came in (and yes this is the haircut anon from a few gens back)

I was lucky enough to have my bottom dysphoria lessen when I started T (went from hating it to pretty neutral since the alternative is subpar and expensive), but between being constantly horny from hormones and Zoloft making it hard to orgasm, I've been in a state of absolute hell.
I just want the toys I ordered to fucking get here already.

>>5882416
I finally asked my transwoman friend about where she went for her therapist
it hit me a month ago "hey, I'm about the age where that 'adult puberty' thing is showing signs of getting started in the coming years, and it will make me look more like a woman and I don't like that idea at all, so I might as well make second puberty the one I wanted the first time around"
now to gather my courage and call them sometime

>>5882659
I see a lot of people who blame the entirety of trans women's problems(including awful media representation) on ~ the cafabs ~ and that shit gets irritating really fast.

>>5890343
ur cute

I wanna cosplay Ichi to a con so I can get away with hiding half my face.

>>5890402
I'm pre everything and pretty neutral about my bottom dysphoria, and I'm not averse to using it because why the fuck not it's there
I'm worried that'll change when I start T, though.

Is the Skype chat active at all? I need friends ;_;

>>5890590
Yeah, that's pretty much my stance on it. If it's there, might as well use it, right? I don't even really mind shit being put into me, can feel good sometimes. I'll use it til I either get bored (unlikely) or replace it (unlikely until ftm bottom surgery gets better/more functional).

Like shit sucks compared to what I ideally want, but I'll take it for now, I guess.

>>5890622
Whenever I fap I always picture myself in my ideal body and then feel super gross whenever I'm done.

I'll definitely be keeping my lower half, though. At least until it's 2050 and they can zap a real working dick onto me.

>>5889445
Yes. Going through puberty too early is called precocious puberty(though many other things can also cause this, and to add to the 'urgh' factor - the youngest girl to give birth on record was five years old).
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3278162/

I think it could be some sort of primal survival adaptation, like the body going 'hey oh shit this sucks, i better grow up stronger faster to decrease my chances of fuckin dying'.

>>5890343
where did you get your totty hoodie?
looks comfy, would sleep in

>>5890656
I ordered it on ebay
it is comfy as fuck would recommend
It's a little snug though, so I suggest getting a size larger than what you already wear

>Anon, why do you always play as a dude?

>>5890741
Because girl character models are almost always weird as fuck.

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>>5891130
I always play as the girl protag because I think they're cuter. It made me uncomfortable to have the other characters address me as female but I got used to it after a while. I'm gay too so if there's romance options I'll play as a girl so I can romance the male characters

Even though I married Niles in FE Fates I still had a female protag because I wanted kids

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I don't know how to handle this shit by myself anymore. I came out last year after over a decade of bullshit, started therapy and I'm going to be starting hormones next month.

The problem is everyone I know seems to be almost "blaming" me for this shit. Like all I get are constant "Well I can't promise anything, but I'll TRY." And I mean, shit, that's all I can expect from people, but it's like this from practically everyone, or people are just super awkward about it. It also feels like no one takes it seriously whatsoever.

My dad has been amazing about it, but my mom has been pretty hit or miss. They went to a trans family meeting to learn a bit more about it, but she's still (understandably) just all over the place; refuses to change pronouns, refuses anything because she's "not ready", her words.

Anyway...my point is I just feel so fucking alone. I just have this literal constant pressure on me to educate everyone and to make THEM okay with it. Meanwhile, I'm facing a literal life changer in the face and I don't have a single shoulder to cry on. I'm on my way to transitioning and trying to be who I really am and all I can think of is killing myself still and drinking myself to death.

I'm sorry if this seemed incoherent or all over the place. I just got done having another breakdown.

>>5890343
Your fingers look like German bratwursts

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>>5892536

the colour is way off

Hey dudes
Do you guys hate your pussies or do you enjoy being a cuntboy

>>5892492
Well, technically mate, you decided to transition so expect some shit, understand that not everyone is acceptive or informed and that you're not the norm. It's the least you can expect. You want to walk this path? Don't be a bitch about it, no one forced you to change, transitioning is not a joke. Be thankful your parents still talk to you, who cares if your mother uses the wrong pronouns? She'll learn, or maybe she won't, but that's not going to throw your life into jeopardy.

>>5892492

things might change once you start hormones and have been on them for a while... it's probably hard for them cuz you still look the same and shit, but that is frustrating yeah...

why are you thinking about killing yourself?

>>5892551
Uncooked bratwurst then

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>>5892536

>>5892575

never seen one uncooked...

>>5892588
Look at those fingers and you'll have

>>5892595

they just look like someone's fingers to me...

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>>5892595

This needs to stop

>>5892610
Then you've seen shit hands all your life

>>5892615

i'd say i've see a lot of variation, and theirs are one of the kinds i've seen...

>>5892559
oddly enough t made me want to use it more

>>5892569
Like I said, I get that. All of that. it's just difficult when you're dealing with shit literally all alone. I never said I expected anyone to understand or accept it right away or completely, I just wish I had someone who I could cry to, because I'm beyond stressed out and I'm beyond being able to handle this all alone. I want this, and I am going to see it through, but goddamn I just wish I could have an understanding hug.

That's it.

>>5892574
Yeah, I know. I understand things take time to change. I actually haven't even asked anyone to call me by a different name/pronouns, it was my father who brought it up and caused a fight over it between them.

The suicide shit has always been there. I'm just really stressed, full of anxiety and I'm bad at handling this shit, especially alone.

>>5892630
Cool, that's cause Testosterone fuels your sex drive
After a male orgasms, they get flooded with prolactin which kills sex drive, and prolactin is common in women for lactation

Man, maybe I should try to date a ftm, are most of you into girls or guys?

>>5892644

hope it didn't come off like i was suggesting you were being impatient or anything... i was just pointing out that things might get better in those ways...

if you ever need to talk feel free, i know what it's like to deal with suicidal thoughts often, and what it's like to feel like you can't really talk about them... and it's a shit position to be in, so if you need someone to just listen and you aren't particularly picky i'm fine with it...

>>5892352
Fair enough. Excessive anime cuteness turns my stomach, but so do monotonous gruff protags. So I weigh my options if there are any.

>>5892492
I know that feel. It's like you're talking to a wall, even though you're talking to people who should make the effort to understand you - and ideally would have understood you all along. It fucking sucks.

>>5892559
I'm ambivalent. I don't get much bottom dysphoria. But being trans is a social inconvenience because it's so unusual.

>>5892626
It's the "I'm a fat-ass landwhale I'm starting to store lard in every inch of my body" hand type

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>>5892662
I think broadly it's about 30, 30, 30 straight, bi, gay.

Pic related is a /ftmg/ poll from February. There was another shortly after with more bifag options but a somewhat lower sample size that showed that this gen leans androphile. Iirc.

>>5892707
Bisexual Masterrace.

>>5892702
Eh, some people get fat fingers sooner than others.

I've been a depressed lardass, stomach stretch marks and all, and for all the fat it did not put a gram on my phalanges.

>>5892711
Some of it is probably comorbid due to the prenatal hormones or whatever it is that makes us trans, but I also think us trannies are more ready to own the biscumminess, where cishets would rather live in denial so as to stay in the good graces of society.

>>5892702

eh... i'm not one to pick people apart over their appearance and weight... it just seems pointless...

>>5892702
Well who gives a shit if he's fat or not. Let him Tottypost in peace.

>>5892735
Females are much more likely to be Bi than males
Man, I'd totally go for some trans pussy. The only stipulations at this point are: where are the handsome, non-transtrenders at? And do ftm's hate 'chasers'?

>>5892492
I have the same problem with my dad and stepmom. My dad never misgenders me or calls me by the wrong name and hasn't for the two years I've been out, but my stepmom doesn't even bother to try. We just got new neighbors and she was introducing herself and said my dad "lives here with his daughter" I have no idea how I'm supposed to explain why she said that when I meet my neighbors myself. I'm pretty sure she hates gays too but I've never asked her about it. I'm constantly on the brink of wanting to yell at her to stop disrespecting me but I can't since I'm sure she hates me already since I'm a trans degenerate

>>5890741
Some irl people who I'm not out to asked me that the other day when we were talking about FE Fates. I was able to get away with "why not" because that's my knee jerk answer to those types of questions, thank christ.

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I was wallowing in my misery and thinking terrible things earlier. I figured it was perfectly possible that, in a fit of rage and self-hatred, I would smash my own head in on the kitchen counter or something. Then my last thoughts would probably be "shit, shouldn't have done that". Does that count as a suicidal thought?

>>5892775
Say "Usually the girl MCs are badly written or they act/look way too manly, like femshep. I like the guys cause 90% of the time it's a guy who writes it." If you're into guys too, you can add "I like seeing his butt too"

t. Cis guy. Who the fuck even asks that shit? It's a matter of preference, fuck

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>>5892764
I'm gay but a few of my trans bros have dated chasers in the past and said that they seemed tolerable at first but eventually they started to feel really disrespected and all. Honestly I wish I could find a cis dude chaser since I basically only want a relationship for sex

>>5892775
Honestly I have no idea why people make a big fuss over what gender you make your mc. I'm not a shapeshifting dragon prince/ss irl so why does it matter?

While we're at it share your castle cards. No bully for playing on easy/casual

>>5892765
>stepmom
Well, you were there first. Establish dominance.

>>5892789
I play as a dude in fucking everything, though, and these were people I've known for years. It was more of an offhanded question, like "haha why do you always play as a dude" but it did make me sweat a bit.
>>5892802
I'll post mine in a bit.

>>5892802
Maybe transmen are more like men than I thought...
I guess that whole "different sex brain" thing is true. That explains why all the mtfs are crazy ass bitches

Wew lads the dysphoria is winning. I don't know why but getting called she makes me want to slit my throat and I keep all these feelings on the inside. Whenever I get misgendered I assure the person they did no wrong and its okay, but the Hot New Thing my friends are saying is that "I get mad, and that's okay, but I still get mad" and "I can control getting misgendered". I have been on t for a year and I get it, not everything is candy and rainbows but I can't take people telling me how I should feel about them wronging me. Am I right, g-gents?

>>5892833
Work out your obliques and shoulders
You'll start looking significantly more masc

>get letter from dav
>"bla bla bla need bloodtest results that i cant get in time but thats our fault for being late sending out letters bla bla bla"
>read the last page
>"we see no reason why [DisabledAnon] could not consent nor withhold consent for hormone treatment"
>appointment is on tuesday

HOLY FUCK ITS HABBENIGN
HOLD ME FTMG

>>5892839
I know. "Do this to look even more like a man". I keep doing it. But I'm really starting to get to the point where I'm likr "why should I have to bust my whole asshole just to get my fuckhead cis friends to stop calling me she after ALL THIS TIME "

>>5892764
>Females are much more likely to be Bi than males
Most of the girls I know are bi. I know like two lesbians, an uncountable amount of bisexuals, and a handful of straight girls - some of whom converted to biscum. (But I do exist in what's probably one of the most liberal social circles on Earth, short of like a nudist ashram.)

The guys, however, tend to be more cut and dry. I used to think it was mostly socialization that made boys close up, but after getting on T men's more defined sexualities make greater sense to me. Not that I can explain that with eloquence.

>where are the handsome, non-transtrenders at?
It's me. I'm the handsome non-trender. But I do hate chasers and I am primarily straight. Gay as fuck for sensitive men, though.

>>5892844

maybe you should work out for yourself, and find new friends who treat you with respect... just saying


>>5892848

most people i know are bi... guys and girls... i know an odd amount of bi people though

>>5892843

congratulations...

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>>5892843

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>Show any indication that I'm angry or upset to my mom
>"It must be those damn hormones making you rage, I read a study about that!"
>Yeah it's not like I can be legitimately upset about anything shitty that happens to me, all my bad feelings must be caused by those damn hormones :')
>Mom bitching that I never spend time with her because I'm studying all week, working on the weekend, angry because I am planning to work all summer and not go on vacation with her
>Tell her I want a masectomy soon, and that's why I'm working
>"Ugh, I hope you aren't excepting me to pay for that,"
>No you fucking bitch that's why I'm working this summer god fucking dammit, god fucking forbid you have to pay for the healthcare of your own damn kid like wtf.

I CRI EVRY TIEM

>>5892872
eyy welcome back to our parents are at-best mediocre club.

I honestly feel like my parents have emotionally regressed with age.

>>5892889
>parents who are mediocre at best and abusive at worst who don't want to deal with the fact that they fucked you up
suffering

>>5892922

eh, at a certain point you gotta let that shit go and accept that you're the one who has to deal with the ways they've fucked you up... i've been through plenty of abuse, and of course it has an effect and all that shit, but it's not really anyone else's responsibility to fix or deal with that shit...

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>>5892843
yaaaaaay have some otters

>>5892872
this makes me remember why I will never, ever talk with my parents about the details of my transition. when my mother found out from my little sister that I had started T, she apparently started blaming it for causing my (pre-existing) "mental health issues," as well as going on about how dangerous it is, blah blah blah heart disease cancer etc. well I'm going to die of cancer unless something else fucking kills me first, and it might as well be caused by 'mones if they're going to make my live actually worth living.

since starting T, I haven't ONCE had an angry outburst or self-destructive meltdown like I used to regularly have before. a normal dose of T doesn't turn you into the fucking Hulk. it's done the opposite for me, and it irks me when people act like FTMs all have "roid rage."

I'm sorry
>mommy issues
TRIGGERED

>>5892559
I hate it. I masturbate with it because I have to or else I'll go crazy, but I'm never enthused/happy about it. And when I have sex I don't let other people touch it.

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>>5893018
>this makes me remember why I will never, ever talk with my parents about the details of my transition.
Holy fuck this x1000. I actually have a pretty awesome relationship with my mom but anytime I mention anything related to my medical transition she always lashes out at me passive-aggressively and shits all over it and I'm sitting there thinking, "do you actually care about me or do you just pretend to to care about me the rest of the time?" She told me along time about that she thought all trans surgeries were drastic and unnecessary, pretty sure she also used the term mutilation. If I get angry at her for saying anything negative to her after she says this shit to me it's immediately discarded as "muh roid rage."

She always does this shit where she like fucking lures me into telling me my problems, like 'Ohh you know you can tell me anything I'll always love you, I'm such a good liberal parent you can always come to me,' and then I give her like the most revised, censored version of my problems which are mostly dealing with trans issues, then she always acts like a cold bitch about them and makes me feel bad afterwards. L-l-love you too mom

>>5893240
>She always does this shit where she like fucking lures me into telling me my problems, like 'Ohh you know you can tell me anything I'll always love you, I'm such a good liberal parent you can always come to me,' and then I give her like the most revised, censored version of my problems which are mostly dealing with trans issues, then she always acts like a cold bitch about them and makes me feel bad afterwards. L-l-love you too mom
holy shit, do we have the same mother? mine always completely dismisses mine and act like an asshole to me about them, but, then turns around and pulls the "you can come to me about anything don't be afraid sweetie :)" bullshit

>>5892819
>Men are like men
Holy shit what a surprise

Dude cmon i guess i know what youre getting at but... trans guys are guys, "trans guy" isnt its own race of cute tomboy girls or some bullshit

>>5893240
>>5893293

so why keep telling them things?

>>5893338
I'm not either of them, but I fell for that shit for a long time because I really, really wanted it to be true when my mom said I could talk to her and trust her.

But it was never true, and it will never be true. Mediocre parents club indeed.

>>5890343
u r cute but fat

>>5893338
idk I'm just a simple man if someone tells me something I take it at face value and as the truth, I'm not gonna sit there and analyze it and overanalyze it and shit. Also I'm a dumbass because I always see the best in people and believe they can change even when there's no hope...

Also because she's my mom and I'm still living with her so I do have to tell her something, I just from now on I keep it as short and meaningless as possible.

>>5893353

i guess i just see it like if something shitty always happens, continuing to try is needlessly torturing yourself... like i know i can't talk to my dad, so i don't... if someone proves again and again that they're not the kinda person you can level with in that way, then you give up and move on... doesn't matter who they are or who they should be based on the ideal the title they're given dictates...
>>5893369

if something keeps happening though, you taking it at face value is clearly the wrong approach... it's not really analyzing to eventually just say "that's a lie, fuck it"

idk i've lived with my dad a good deal of my life, doesn't mean i owe him conversations about shit that's important to me...

i get wishing someone was a better and different person and wanting to believe they are, but at what point do you say "this isn't working i'll stop doing it"?

>>5893422
>like if something shitty always happens, continuing to try is needlessly torturing yourself
Yeah, I agree - today. I held out for a long time, because I was conditioned to hang on to the glimpses and table scraps of, well, good parenting.

Today I keep contact to an agreeable minimum.

>>5893501

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>>5892559
>No gay cis dudes have fetish for cuntboys like straight cis dudes have for futas
Absolutely the worst

>>5893422

+ and i don't mean like never give them a chance, just... accept that that's part of who they are, and that shit's unlikely to change... and work with that

it's just... there's a really simple way of getting rid of the negative shit, and it's just not bothering with it whenever you don't have to... it just seems masochistic to continue that kinda cycle...

>>5893510
Are you saying that you want a cis dude with a fetish for cuntboys?

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>>5893525
Yes
And I want that cis dude to FUCK ME

>>5893530
you could probably find a bi dude to do that for you. Find one of them.

>>5893502

i'm glad you can see that at least... i've known a lot of people in a similar position, and i've seen the damage it does when they keep going back to it...

i get all the reasons why someone might, i just know it's ultimately terrible for them you know?

idk... i think i'm too high for such a heavy conversation...

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>>5893240
>>5893293
Yeah my mom did this shit too. I assume she's still going on about it to other people, but I'm no longer listening.
>>5893338
Well, I finally wised up and stopped. I wanted her to love/accept me so much that I kept falling for the "Let's start fresh!" act and opening up to her again, and then it would blow up in my face. And then I'd do it again. And again. I was a gullible idiot.

She had me convinced for a long time that she was a sane, rational, tolerant, unconditionally loving adult and a great parent and that it was me who was fucking up. It took her really, REALLY crossing the line to make me snap and then it just all fell away. I look back on everything she said and did and I just wonder what the fuck I was thinking not cutting her out of my life sooner. I did so with her sister almost a decade earlier. I could have saved myself a lot of pain.

Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could go back in time to when I was 12 or and tell myself to do everything differently. Oh god, all the things I would change. I don't know why I waste time even thinking about this shit.

>>5893510
>>5893530
I love these cats' faces so much. I miss having a cat. I wish I could tell my mom's cat to stop worshiping the bitch and come live with me, but I've never seen an animal as attached to anyone before. Fuck, I want to hold a cat right now.

>>5893747
Adopt a kitty! Or can you not in your current living situation?

FTMG, I'm confused.

Questioning if trans, basically, and lately I've been trying to network with some other trans guys and junk to help get more data and test the playing field a bit. I've found some people similar to me, and they've been really great to have in my life so far. I definitely fall into the gender-nonconforming bubble, was a classic tomboy and all that bullshit.

I have social dysphoria when assuming traditionally female roles and a bit of physical dysphoria regarding my chest (I had really bad voice dysphoria until I started doing vocal exercises to lower my voice), but when I get called "he" in front of friends, family, or professors I get anxious, really really anxious. I think it's because I'm afraid of the social implications of having people confused about your pronouns.

My fag friends have gone about using "they" for me while I decide, which isn't so bad, but I really don't want to be the special snowflake who draws attention to their ~totally radical gender-abolishing identity, you guys!!!~ I'd be happiest if nobody gave a single fuck about the pronouns, but they do. I don't like getting asked about them. It's considered polite, but it puts me on the spot, and when I shrug they press for an answer, which makes me even more uncomfortable.

>>5893747

eh i don't think it makes you a gullible idiot... the only way to find something like that out when you're raised in it is through experiencing it and getting to that place on your own unfortunately... it's pretty natural to want to connect to your parent and all that... what matters is you've realized it

sometimes it takes really bad shit for people to see things clearly, and when you grow up with something it just seems normal

>>5893772
No one can decide if you're trans but you, anon.

>>5893772

finding people similar to you in any given group doesn't really mean much... especially when there isn't a typical experience, more just... the shared issue of dysphoria and whatnot...

you'll find transguys who are similar, and ones who aren't... it's not gonna tell you shit about you though

I was that "no more thinking about it!! JUS' DO IT!!" anon. I set up an appointment for the doctor today, and from there ill be referred to the trans clinic. Ill be going in on monday. I would still consider myself "questioning", but it felt so good to go out in masculine clothes for the first time in a year, and to be called my male name. At the same time I feel a little sick, scared, guilty.

How many of you pass?

>>5893802
not me

>>5893772
>Letting you friends call you "they" ever
Tell them to stfu and go back to sheing you until you officially come out as trans to them and then they can start with the dudebruh and he.

Also asking someone's pronouns is never and has never been polite, it's always better to make a wild guess and then apologise and correct yourself than to ask. It's way better to take the 50/50 chance that you get someone's pronoun correct and have them pleased with you then to have them upset that you couldn't tell so you asked. Although if they are your friends and not just strangers on the street they have every right to ask and it must be super awkward for them to not know, how else are they supposed to interact with you

>>5893813
Not that person, but, "they" honestly makes me just as uncomfortable as "she." It's like "haha you're not a man but you're not a woman either you're just some gross thing in between"

Both make me uncomfortable, but, for different reasons.

>>5893018
My dad is like that. He doesn't say shit directly to my face but he thinks that T has made me sick and unhealthy. I have zero idea how he could possibly think that.
>no more emotional outbursts or self harm
>no more therapy and psych meds because fuck yall i feel great so i was able to work on my shit without it
>went from 100lbs to 135lbs with MUSCLE because i actually felt like eating again and exercising
>only drink once every few months
>can hold down a job
>with the exception of winter, i am outside doing shit for like 12 hours a day

>>5893240
>>5893293
Your moms are my dad. Thankfully we hardly ever talk and mostly keep to ourselves.

>>5893802
For me it's about %60-%70 percent. Up to %90 if I don't talk.

>>5893825
a few of the baristas at a starbucks i stop by think i'm mute because i don't want to talk and out myself so i just pass them notes on what i want to order

>>5892872
Do you ever like, sneeze or get food poisoning or something and your mom is like, "see! I'm telling you, those shots are making you sick!"

I have gotten fairly aggressive on t, though.

>>5893832
I do this at stores. Feels autistic as fuck, but comfy.

>>5893844
yeah i feel fucking pathetic doing it, but, at least i don't have to talk in my weird high voice.

>>5893832
do you smile? if not they probably just think you're a weird asshole

Any of you have parents generally against your transition, but will say shit like, "well since you want to be a guy so bad, why don't you go chop wood/move my furniture/fix my car/other "manly" chores they can use you for"

But other than those times they openly hate you being ftm

>>5893852
whenever i get my drink i just give a smile/thumbs up or something and leave

>>5893802
I do, but having been on T for years makes anyone pass.

>tfw 5'1" so even if I did pass I'd just be a manlet

>>5893876
it's ok to be manlet as long as you have a personality

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>>5893876
>tfw 6'0 mtf
>tfw no manlet trans bf to tower over

>>5893879
tower over me daddy

>>5893881
>daddy

i'm a girl, and don't call me mommy either that's weird as fuck

>>5893802
I could 100% pass except for a job I got hired for as a female and I need the money enough that I don't want to take my chances coming out or finding another job as male (not only from discrimination being trans but discrimination being a man in a mostly women's job because men are deemed untrustworthy or whatever)

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>>5893813
I don't know, it's a nice placeholder. People make assumptions forom he and she, but they is nice and ambiguous.

People guess my gender and have been veering toward masculine, which is fine with me when I'm on my own, but it's like I'm lying by not "correcting" it when I'm around people that need to know details about me (ie interact with me).

>>5893821
For me it's different.

I don't mind "she" that much because it's the reality of my genitals, but the social expectations that come along with the word used (which I could care less about) bother me. I don't mind "they" because it acknowledges that it's kind of hard to tell with me, which is accurate. And I don't mind "he" unless it's in front of people who know I have a vag.

>>5893883
i'm so disappointed

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POLL TIME
http://strawpoll.me/7129924

I'm sick and high so I got pretty confused making this, so hopefully I didn't duplicate things or miss something.

>>5893888
>pre-t, post-op

i want this to happen but the surgery is invasive and expensive, feels bad man

>>5893888
Man I already realized I fucked up on the pre-everything(medical/social) reasons because they are not necessarily a permanent thing. If you have those but still eventually plan on transitioning, feel free to vote for 'Pre-everything but will transition' instead.

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>>5893876
>not transitioning to become a cute effeminate man
>not wanting to be short so a larger man can dominate you
>not wanting to be a pretty femboy like in your yaois

Ayy jk being a manlet sucks I kno cause I'm a manlet too. It could be worse though you could be fugly looking.

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>>5893747
Cats are the absolute best. You should adopt a cat when you can

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>>5893933
If I was cis I'd be a crossdresser/trap. I just wanna dress in cute girl clothes and be fucked in the ass by gay men but I had to be cursed with a vagina. I just turned 18 last year so hopefully there'll be actually decent sex reassignment surgery before my youth runs out but I'm sure there's a higher chance of the Earth randomly exploding

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>>5893969
>I'd be a crossdresser/trap

You'd be a trans girl in denial?

>>5893933
>5'3" but gruffy
>bigger, gruffier dudes have expressed interest in me topping them

I wish I could top but I can't take it seriously, especially if they want me to be rough and dominate them. It's too comical and I know I'd treat our relationship as a joke.

>>5893982
Traps are cis dudes with a fetish for being degraded by pretending to be women and they don't have dysphoria

>>5893985
I've met plenty of gay/bi men and only a handful of them are tops. Where the fuck are all the aggressive dominant guys?

>>5894012
Have you ever even seen a "trap" thread? Half of them are openly trans girls who just have low self-esteem and like 90% of the rest eventually realize they're actually trans.

>>5893885
>I don't mind "she" that much because it's the reality of my genitals
I get what you mean, but eugh what a way to phrase it. Makes it sound like we're all directly addressing each other's junk when talking. It gave me vivid intrusive thoughts about talking to naked coworkers

>I don't mind "he" unless it's in front of people who know I have a vag.
Why does that bother you?

>>5893885
>I don't mind "she" that much because it's the reality of my genitals
Do you people just see genitals when you talk to someone or what? I don't want to be reduced to a walking vag, jesus christ.

>>5892559
it kinda turns me on desu
thanks T

>>5894050
>Makes it sound like we're all directly addressing each other's junk when talking.
That's kinda the function of pronouns in English, yeah. Grosses me out too, especially when people try to guess my own.

>Why does that bother you?
I don't really know, but I feel really ashamed. I like masculinity, and being masculine feels natural and right. It's not a bother when I'm alone and with service workers or whatever. But in front of people who know I don't have a dick I get really flustered, like I'm not living up to what I should be (wrt being an ugly woman and also not being an actual man, instead just faking).

>>5894055
Not really, but undeniably pronouns are used to indicate sex, so I'd rather just avoid them with myself. But of course that's totally impractical.

>>5894116
>but undeniably pronouns are used to indicate sex
If they were then no one would call me "he." Which... they do.

>>5894012
Really? 99% of dudes into me are tops and I see only mostly tops. From what I've seen it seems that 'masc' bottom guys seem to have trouble finding people who want to top someone who isn't a petite twink.

>>5893969
>I just turned 18 last year

wouldn't that make you 19?

>>5894116
>but undeniably pronouns are used to indicate sex

Lol what?
Pronouns are used to refer to a person. A person is made up of their identity, and gender is part of their identity, not sex

>>5894156
My birthday is in November

>>5894116
>but undeniably pronouns are used to indicate sex
Honest question; did you seriously think walking into a thread full of trans men and saying this was a good idea?

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>>5890343
bretty cute anon. totty is best.

>>5894195
>Choro is yellow
but why

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>>5894198
No idea. I just saved the image for Totty.

>>5894176
Not really. I'm just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with me, sorry if I rustle feathers.

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>>5894204
my matsu folder is 99% ichi and i'm not sure how ashamed i should be for that
>>5894214
that's honestly something you have to figure out on your own. asking "am i trans" won't really get you anywhere because no one has the same experience.

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>>5894240
Mine is too anon. I also have a lot of Jyushi.

>>5894116
Language is as the people who use it. You need to divorce gender and pronouns from genitals in your mind, or at least give them a longer leash. I use pronouns daily and I promise you I had never before pictured even half the dongs that graced my mind's eye after reading your post. Gender and sex are not one and the same. Otherwise, why are you even here asking questions?

Being trans is an actual valid thing. Not everyone's going to acknowledge this, but not everyone's going to acknowledge fucking evolution either. If you have to earn the approval of everyone who might consider you a faker before you no longer feel like a fraud, you won't be transitioning. Consider not bargaining for their approval and simply not giving a fuck instead. I think you need to respect yourself and assert yourself more. Probably in general in life.

>>5894104
does T give you weird fetishes?

>>5892630
Same here. I'm more willing to experiment and use my genitals now that I'm on T desu. I do wish more people were into cuntbois tho, I really wanna be able to hit up an lgbt bar and not feel weird having to explain shit and risk rejection or awkward "no thanks"'s.

I really want to fuck someone that likes me FOR my body, rather than DESPITE it, if that makes sense. Since I'm not planning on bottom surgery til it improves more.

>>5893888
>http://strawpoll.me/7129924
UGH i voted wrong. i meant to say "post-everything" but i acidentally put "post-op and pre-T" and it won't let me re-cast my vote... sorry for messing up your data dudes

>>5893510
Absolutely and patently untrue. Source: me having to constantly reject chasers Grindr

>>5894386
on Grindr**

>>5893802
Me. Totally stealth except for a few old friends I'm still in contact with.

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What do you guys think about trans men who are into makeup?

>>5894400
I want them to leave.

I'm fine with it for shit like halloween, maybe messing around ironically(same with wearing something like a frilly skirt or something to be 'funny') like any cis dudes do but I can't help but hate the ones that do it non-ironically every day shit. See >>5881597

>>5894400
fetishists who want to become the type of guys they dream about fucking

>>5894400
this looks like a busted old dyke

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How many ftm are actually okay with getting pregnant with their so?

>>5894450
>>5894450
So is the Tumblr-looking, gay-dude-fetishizing weeaboo the FtM equivalent of "AGP" MtFs? I don't know anything about this guy in particular, but he brings to mind a lot of lookalikes I've run across on the internet that try to become sexy androgynous (often Japanese or Korean) boys. They usually love anime, cosplay, go to cons, and emulate whatever you'd call this look. I feel like I'm being a huge dick here, but I'm going to go ahead and be a huge dick here.

I hate myself for finding some (SOME) of them attractive. Appearance-wise only, of course. Ugh.

>>5894744
wait you mean babby in me
no, I literally have nightmares about being pregnant, I'd rather shoot myself in the face

>>5894780
Those are transtrenders generally, and yes.

>>5894780
>So is the Tumblr-looking, gay-dude-fetishizing weeaboo the FtM equivalent of "AGP" MtFs?

Yes, just nobody calls them out on it cause people think men are creepier and more likely to be fetishists (which isn't true).

They get upset that they can't find any kawaii animu boys, androgynous makeup wearing boys, etc. to date so they somehow get it in their heads that they can just become them.

>>5893802

i'm more androgynous than anything i suppose... at least that's what i hear constantly... people usually aren't sure of what i am, and when they do guess it's about 50/50... i get asked what i am sometimes, but more often than not people just avoid it...


>>5893852

eh... i've been a barista, there's way weirder shit customers do in cafes, at least notes to order something are quiet and easy to deal with... i imagine they don't really give a shit unless they have shit handwriting...

>>5893855

nah, for me my mom accepts that i'm trans, but no one asks me for help with shit cuz of my health issues and whatnot... they just ask my s/o to do shit, and he's not out to anyone except me... he's just significantly stronger and shit...


>>5893876

you're an inch taller than me... idk, it's never seemed like a big deal to me cuz i have no trouble getting girls or guys... so really the worst thing is not being able to reach shit, but that's what climbing is for...

>>5894012

i've met a lot of tops, they're the ones who ask me out... though not aggressive... dominant, yeah, but not aggressive

i've known some guys who were bottoms, but that's only ever a just friends thing, we're always mutually uninterested in each other...

>>5894400

it's not my thing, but i don't give a shit what other people do... i've known cis guys who were into make up, so i don't really see a difference when a transguy is... idk... i can't see a reason to care or assume that it has anything to do with them being trans or not... it's not like interests or being feminine changes whether or not someone is trans...

and there's make up and then there's make up... eyeliner and nail polish are pretty unisex depending on style/subculture... so if that's the extent it doesn't count it, more than that is just the same as any guy being into makeup or crossdressing

people aren't obligated to be more stereotypical for their gender than they actually are just cuz they're trans...

>>5883559
Yes, definitely over time- I mean, you go through a second puberty, after all. It's easiest to sum up with "I loved tumblr before transitioning. I'm 4 years on T now and here I am, on fucking 4chins."

>tfw no tall ftm bf

>tfw friend knows I'm trans
>tag me in a fb article "20 tips about periods !"
>LoveYourVagina hashtags all over the comments

pls help

Captchas : eggs (kill me already)

>>5895502
Kill your friend and denounce her family.

Or more practically, you can stop tagged posts from auto appearing on your timeline, it's somewhere in the settings.

>>5895475
>tfw no ftm boyfriend to wine and dine and take him home to plow his boypussy
;-;

>>5895507
I did that, now I review everything she tags me in. It's fucking hell because she tags me in a lot of her jokes girly pages because "lol it's so girly matter, I relate to it and so do you Anon, hm ?".
I just ignore it all the time, but it reminds me everyday about that fucking dysphoria.

>>5895512
>tfw no bf to cuddle you while watching shitty sitcoms at 3 am
;_;

how come the thread image is just a brickwall

>>5895520
Because ftmgen are cockblocks

>>5895514

have you told her you're not ok with that?

>>5895547
I told her many times that it makes me uncomfortable, but I think she doesn't takes me seriously.

>>5895552

honestly, she sounds like a shit friend then... it's stupid to do if she knows you're trans to begin with, but you saying shit to her more than once and her continuing makes it more fucked up than stupid...

>>5895519
>tfw no bf to take long walks by the lake and see the first spring blossoms with
;_;

>>5895519
ayy bb I'll cuddle you and watch any shit shows you like

>>5881355
How do you all deal with the horniness from test?

>>5895572
By deep dicking my qt ftm bf

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>>5894400
>trans men who are into makeup
I don't really care. I wouldn't care if they were cis and I don't hold trans people to other standards. I don't think the fujoshi theory of femme trans guys holds water.

What peeves me is people who say they're trans but don't even desire to take any steps to transition. I wish they would root their identity crisis in some other Thing.

>>5893747
>>5893940
>cats
Fuuuck I want a cat. I want two so they can be friends and hang out while I'm away.

>>5895514
>>5895552
Alright, so you get a nice feather quill for the written denunciation, and any old knife will do for the stabbing.

No but honestly, I would just unfriend her. But I suppose there's a reason that you haven't done that already.

Tell her to stop tagging you. Don't explain yourself, just tell her to stop. If she doesn't, tell her you're tired of asking her to listen to you and that you will unfriend her. You listen to your friends, so please listen. If she goes off or gets defensive, don't engage, just repeat that you've told her it makes you uncomfortable and you've asked her to stop. If she does it again, you unfriend her.

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>mfw makeup/contouring and painting nails black somehow helped me relieve dysphoria
>mfw get dysphoric again because everyone calls me feminine and pretty or a fakeboi

Goodbye

>>5895618

not everyone gives a shit, or thinks like that... but i'm gonna be honest with you, if you're a guy who likes makeup and nail polish and whatnot you're gonna need to be less sensitive about what other people think/say...

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>>5895623
That's my problem. I am a massive pansy fairy sensitive paranoid faggot. How am I FtM, fuck if I know. Told myself for a long time I wasn't, only fucked me up more.

I wish I could just ignore, but it's not that easy senpai. For example a year ago a random guy on the street stopped to tell me I'm ugly as shit and to this day I'm still struck by that, as irrational as it is.

>>5895644
Do you need hug anon?

>>5895644

well all it takes to be a transguy is dysphoria so that's all there is to that really... it doesn't come with a personality type or a set of interests or some shit you know? so you being who you are doesn't change that, but caring about what other people think of you just being yourself is just a good way to feel like shit all the time... not worth it

i get that you're sensitive, but i mean... when you really think about it why do other people's opinions matter? it's not like you're conforming to them anyway, so what part of it matters to you? you know yourself better than anyone making comments, so fuck 'em...

i've never had anyone do something like that to me (only time people have walked up to me in the street and said anything was to ask me out or give me a compliment come to think of it) so idk how i'd feel about something like that to comment on whether or not it would bother me on any level even a year later... but i could see why that'd affect you, and make you uncomfortable, but at the same time... there's way more important shit than being physically attractive to people, and it's not worth dwelling... especially cuz like it happened once and it was one person... idk...

either way though you gotta learn how to just be yourself without being apologetic about it... and unfortunately being a feminine guy comes with dealing with people giving you shit for it, so that's gonna be hard if you let people get to you every time...

just take some time and consider the source at the very least... there usually isn't a valid reason to give a shit about what most people think about you

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>>5895561
>>5895599
When I ignore her posts that seems to work for a while though.
Plus she just takes everything as a joke and doesn't really understands how bad I feel, she doesn't bear ill will.
I'll make sure next time, that I tell her properly I'm serious here.

The reason is that she is my roommate, so I can't really unfriend her.
Plus she's really nice when she isn't thinking I'm joking about being transgender.

Thank you for the advice guys that really helps !

Here, have a cat :)

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>>5895696

lol maybe i'm just an asshole, but i would unfriend my roommate and then just say why... wouldn't give a shit...

i also only ever had one roommate situation, and it went horribly wrong... but to be fair my s/o and i were living with a crazy alcoholic and her bf who thought he was a prophet and jesus had shit he needed to tell the world (what was funny is this guy couldn't talk for shit, he mumbled everything and you had to get used to him to even know what he was saying)

but i mean... you don't have to put up with her online just cuz you gotta deal with her in person

and maybe she doesn't take you seriously and doing something like that and explaining why would help her get a better idea of it...

crappy ninja pic of 2 of my birds last night, the other one was chilling in his cage... i don't have pics of my cat who's really just more everyone's cat and slowly becoming my niece's cat (he fucking love her) on my phone... he was mine, but i had to move a lot at one point and he ended up with my family... funny enough, the roommate i mentioned once put him outside the day after i told her he was my best friend lol she got so pissed off at me when i said that, like "i thought i was" and i just said to her "nah it's him" and then my s/o and her bf found him while i was at work on the side of the house crying to get back in the next day... that's what i mean though when i said she was crazy... things also completely went to shit right after my s/o and i told her we wouldn't date her... she told her bf we weren't there for her enough and cried to him... and i got bitched at for being too apathetic and calm, and not taking anything seriously enough for a good 15 minutes by her bf in front of cops cuz he started throwing shit and she called them crying locked in her room... it was funny as hell though...

>>5894320
no, but it makes you much much hornier

>>5895618
Oddly enough I've seen plenty of dudes paint their nails black. Not even goth guys.

I wish I lived in an area I could get away with it without getting my head caved in. Really helped with my nail biting issue.

>>5894294
>I use pronouns daily and I promise you I had never before pictured even half the dongs that graced my mind's eye after reading your post.
Sorry about that. I don't picture dongs or wounds every time someone uses a pronoun, it's just that when people ask me that that's what I feel like is being asked, even though it's not, as other guys mentioned in the thread. Not really sure how to get over that.

My whole thing is, I'm fine with my lower junk and don't want to die if people use "she", but I do have dysphoria in other senses, so I'm at this point where I'm unsure. But yes, you're right, I shouldn't worry about it so much. Just letting it flow has gotten me this far.

>I think you need to respect yourself and assert yourself more. Probably in general in life.
Yeah, heading to therapy, booked some weekly appointments through my uni, to take place in April. I'm surprised you could tell.

Has T made anyone straight? Or did you always want to fuck girls?

Not trans just curious.

>>5895983
I've heard of some guys who were into guys pre-T and switched to mostly being into girls after starting T, but that didn't happen to me. I've been on T 3 years and my sexuality hasn't changed at all. I love men and always have.

>>5895983
You know what, after being on T for a little while I got more willing to acknowledge my attraction toward guys. I hated being seen as a girl by men, although I frankly wasn't giving my male acquaintances enough credit. It was mostly in my head.

I don't think T influenced my predilections, but it did turn up the volume.

>>5892843
Congratulations!
I have no reaction image but if I did it would be cats and confetti.

>>5894400
I don't give a shit. Men can dress how they want. I'm not about to start enforcing gender roles just because someone is trans. Just because a dude wears makeup or dresses doesn't mean he doesn't have dysphoria. I used to be extremely uncomfortable with anything even slightly feminine, but the farther along I got into my transition and more I was accepted as a male the more ok I was with typically female stuff. I like cute clothes, and I'd never wear anything like that in public but I still enjoy wearing them around the house or if I'm visiting friends, even though a few years ago I'd die from dysphoria if I did the same thing. I just got a mastectomy and am on hormone blockers

>>5894744
Sounds like a 9 month long dysphoria deluxe experience. No thanks

>>5895599
My cat hates other cats since he grew up as an only child (only kitten?) He had to stay with my dad who has two other cats and he got a stress induced bleeding stomach ulcer, so I immediately took him back immediately. Ironically enough he was overweight and lost a lot a weight because of his ulcer, and afterwards never gained the weight back

>>5895644
There isn't any specific personality that men have. There are plenty of submissive and weak cis guys

>>5896047
I'm only on hormone blockers, but I've had the same experience. Before I was out I thought I actually thought I was a lesbian

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>>5896070

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>>5896070
>>5892861
>>5892865
>>5893018
thanks guys

>>5896091
You got my back bro
>>5896129
>>5896091
>>5896091

>>5894168
Not him, but you dont know someones identity just by glancing at them. Most people make a pronoun choice based on -- wait for it -- the sex they perceive you as.

>>5895599
>fujoshi theory of femme trans guys

Anyone else had this happen the other way around? I was never into yaoi or pretty boys, but after I came out , I got into it more because I thought "hey, I could look like that boy". I guess it relieved my dysphoria.

Do any of you guys religiously check your breasts for lumps hoping you have cancer so you can get insurance to pay for a mastectomy?

>>5896262
Have you ever seen yaoi where one of the boys has a vagina?

I mean there's silly amounts of yuri where one of the girls has a cock.

>>5896268
I don't think I've seen any yaoi doujinshi like that, but I've seen art of it. I honestly think the cuntboy genre has a lot of potential, as weird as that is to say. I hope it picks up as a thing soon. Maybe tumblr sjw feminists will pick it up.

>finally, we get to see the patriarchy get fucked

>>5896292
Is that what you want to see? Some snooty Harvard guy getting his pussy filled with cock?

>>5896333
Not really. The feminist thing was a joke, and Im not personally into cock all that much. If I was , I personally wouldnt pick harvard, maybe MIT, thatd be hotter. I just like seeing bodies that are "possible" for me.

>>5896411
>talks about yaoi doujins
>"I'm not into cock that much"
Que?

>>5896262
I was pretty into yaoi before I came out, and I had the exact same thoughts. Though I was really weird about my sexuality and didn't express it to anyone but myself. Because liking dudes as a girl felt, really fucking weird? It's kind of hard to explain. I definitely used shitty yaoi manga as self insertion fuel, though.

>>5896424
I literally read yaoi manga for the story lines, and like I said, I like having something to look up to and relate to. Yaoi boys look like I do, and I like the gay storylines, even though theyre unrealistic most of the time. Pretty rare that I jack off to guys, I mean, the possibility is there, but its not common. The reason I know about cuntboy yaoi doujins is because I have specifically looked up "reverse trap doujins" a few dozen times (its like looking in the fridge, i expect something new to show up, but it never does)

>>5896473
Just realized im being hella unclear, sorry familia, Im pulling 24 hours awake to fix my sleep schedule and im getting to the foggy and insane cutoff.

>>5896440
Yeah, im actually curious how much of my sexual identity is based around not wanting to be "the girl", and if it will change when I get on T.

>>5896501
I desperately didn't want to be "the girl" before I came out and I really didn't know why. Now that I know what I am, I'm pretty content in my identity of being gay. Seeing women in sexual situations makes me really dysphoric, though, and I don't know how much that has to do with it. I'm 99% sure I'm not attracted to them anyway, but, you never know I guess.

>>5896520
I've always projected myself onto the man with pornography, but I cant watch female masturbation, because it kills the illusion

[spoiler]kill me[/spoiler]

>>5896501
>>5896520
Before I finally let myself be OK with the idea of being trans, I tried really hard to force myself to be a "real woman." I spent over eight years in a relationship with a heterosexual guy I was (and still am) completely in love with. He's the only person I've ever been in an intimate relationship with. Well, when we got together, I discovered that I hated and dreaded sex, even with a guy I loved and found attractive. It wasn't his problem. He tried so hard, and I felt awful, like I was broken, and I tried hard to enjoy it and to make him happy. Sex just felt so fucking wrong though, like even when I was 100% consenting and trying to enjoy myself with someone I cared deeply about, it felt like a gross and upsetting violation. I hated myself for feeling that way.

I liked playing with his junk, though. I'd never tell him that part of the reason why was that I wished it was attached to me...

When I started seeing a therapist and talking about "gender issues," she said something along the lines of, "Yeah, no wonder you didn't enjoy or want sex if you were so uncomfortable with your body and being female," and it clicked. I'd been so deep in denial about being trans, though, I just thought I hated sex, not that I hated "being the girl" in sex.

>>5896265
Touching them grosses me out, but sometimes I silently pray it will happen.

>>5896265
My great aunt had breast cancer and I wish I had the money to get tested so I could chop them off already.

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What fictional character(s) did/do you want to be like?
I also wanted to be like/looked up to Ocelot from Metal Gear Solid and Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4 when she pretended to be male

>>5896671
Don't you loose your nipples too though? I've imagined getting breast cancer and getting a mastectomy before, mostly in middle and high school when I lived with my transphobic mom, but I later realized I didn't really want that because it would be weird to not have nipples

>>5896746
finally i can be a real anime dude

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>>5896738
Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet was the coolest guy ever to me. I wonder if that film holds up.

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>>5896762
Nipple removal surgery is an actual thing some people do as a body modification. I can't imagine why you'd want to though

Semi related, do any of you want body mods/tattoos/piercings? And if yes, what kind? I want white bands around my forearms and lower legs (I think it'll look cool since I have brown skin), and maybe two small silicone horn implants on my forehead but I'm super hesitant on that. I hate piercings and gauges

>>5894744
Would rather literally kill myself.

>>5896783

white ink isn't gonna really show up with your skintone... not well anyway, and white has a tendency to fade quickly and/or yellow and mostly shows up in really pale-light olive skin tones... white also has a high risk of getting discoloured from the blood and the stencil, and you need to be able to go to a tattoo artist who can do a bloodline to get a better result usually + a lot of artists don't like working with just white ink + and if all of that hasn't put you off of an all white tattoo they also get damaged by the sun easier than other inks (brown also has this issue)

not a fan of implants personally...

i have 16 tattoos, and a couple of piercings... i'd like more tattoos and occasionally i miss my smiley piercing, but i probably wouldn't get another (i used to have way more) + i'd like to get scarification done

>>5896265

nah, i never hope for more health issues, i'm good on those...

>>5896783
Ehh... If you're not all-in with the facial mods silicone implants will just look like a disease.

>>5894744
Pregnant men in the media used to make me feel a combination of transphobia and suicidal dysphoria. I'm not blaming the men - it's on me and the way trans is covered in the media. Which is to say sensationalistic, even when they purport to be a measured outlet.

I have the fattest, most disgusting thighs. I desperately want to lose like 20 pounds but I'm so hungry all the time, I feel like I'm going to pass out or like I don't even have enough energy to do anything if I eat less. I've been to doctors and there's nothing apparently wrong with me. I lift weights and walk 5+ miles every goddamn day, and it's done nothing but give me nice arm muscles and bulky calves. I don't think I've lost any fat at all. I feel like vomiting every time I see or touch my thighs. A year ago, I was a twig, and I could put my hands around my upper thighs, and now they're just these huge blobs of fat. I've never felt this shitty about my body before. How the fuck did I let myself get this fat? Please kill me.

Sorry for the self-pity but I don't know if I can or want to keep dragging this repulsive body through life any more. I was anorexic and extremely underweight for so long and now I can't fucking lose weight or make myself stop eating and I am appalled by myself.

>>5896931

pregnant transguys used to creep me the fuck out too... after some conversations on /lgbt/ with a few who explained that they just wanted their own families and it was the easiest way to get that and 9 months of dysphoria being worth it to them to have something they've always wanted and etc etc etc... i kinda changed my mind and realized that it wasn't really a big deal or something to be bothered by...

i guess for me it's like... that shit makes me think of alien, and i'm positive i'd off myself... so the idea of anyone doing that, especially another transguy is hard to wrap my head around...


>>5896948

what kind of foods are you eating?

>>5896268
There are few Tiger & Bunny doujinshis where the main character suddenly has a pussy. Pretty good shit.

>>5896836
What color do you think would be better then? Do you think dark brown would be better? I'm thinking about a neutral color since I want it to not clash with my skin. What color ink would you recommend?

>>5896931
it doesn't necessarily make me dysphoric to see pregnant trans men in the media, but it bugs me because it's one of the very few ways we're represented at all, and i don't want cis people to think about pregnant men and the accompanying sensationalism when they i disclose to them. it's the same reason the thinx campaign bugs me: i don't want cis people to assume i get my period or associate menstruation with me just because they have no other exposure to trans men.