When will the AGP stop?

>>5299475
Get PCI Express, bro.

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>>5299475

You know what you have to do.

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>>5299484
>killing yourself with a $1200 handgun

>>5299499

I was going to post a deagle, but that's $2000. I think you will find the peace of mind knowing the bullet will more than penetrate your skull is worth the larger investment.

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>>5299479

>>5299522
Then use .44 magnum hardcast or something you fucking madman.

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it cannot be stopped

>>5299475
It won't stop on hormones, I can tell you that.

>>5299569
Then what's the point
Why does everyone lie to me

>>5299721
You embrace it and become the girl you want to be

I'm saving up for every fucking surgery I want, after years of being depressed about it, I just said fuck it.

>>5299727
Are you AGP too? Idk I just don't see this being a viable long term solution, but I like the hormones too much..

I wish I could find more people to talk about it with, like....am I just going to have to deal with it or transition fully? Is that really all there is? Is it going to keep getting stronger? I guess I need to go back to a therapist but this shit is weird.

>>5299721
The point is that...it doesn't fucking go away.

I know that feel.

>>5299475
my AGP stopped when i got a girlfriend and bought some striped socks.

>>5299539

The best revenge is knowing they'll need a hazmat team for the mess.

Who here had AGP and transitioned? Was it worth it?

How would you all describe your AGP feelings? I'm tried of hearing armchair psychologists thoughts on it. I'd like your own expression of your experiences.

>>5305954
I kind of thought I did since I liked forced feminization hentai and always thought of myself as a girl during fantasies while masturbating, but I never really related to the "don't want to be a girl anymore after masturbating" stuff and I'm like 80% into guys so idk

>>5304916
r-really?

>>5305969
It's a strong desire to be a girl that intertwines with arousal, that has gradually strengthened over time. Both can cause the other to happen. Whenever I masturbate now, I constantly imagine myself as a girl or having sex as one, and it's much more satisfying. Despite now having been irresistibly drawn to hormones, my time to orgasm has shrunk drastically. It's not really tied to clothing much, beyond wearing some things that might improve the image. I have a strong aversion to a lot of very feminine things probably because of lots of images of nonpassing hons. These are just observations. It is strongly a sexual thing; for a while I had the >>5305987
>don't want to be a girl anymore after masturbating
but that has mostly gone away after sort of stopping thinking like this was inherently bad, so I guess there was some aspect of shame in it.
It's very difficult to figure out. I pretty much act masculine and don't really mind being a guy socially or anything, although I would still much rather have a girl's body. It took a long time to eventually follow the compulsion to take hormones, and I don't know what's going to happen. Occasionally I've thought I need to stop because I'll never be able to get a gf and live a reasonably normal life if I continue, but at the same time I really don't want to stop.
Fucking sucks man

>>5308484
...aaand sometimes I wonder how much of my heterosexuality is just projecting my own desire to be her into attractiveness. Every girl I find attractive I would also like to be, which is kind of a weird phenomenon. It's to the point where I don't even know if I could have a normal relationship

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Im an autoandrophile. I absolutely cannot get off without imagining myself as a man, even during sex. I confused that and the "not like other girls" meme for actually being a guy. Internalized homophobia also helped it along. 3 years later and im really glad the therapists were "gatekeepers" because otherwise id have a gun to my head by now. Its just a bad idea.

>>5299475
At death or later, my friend.

>>5308484
lucky for me I actually have some interest in dating men. Does this make me less AGP?

Whats AGP?

>>5309123
No, the AGP is pretty much independent. Don't listen to anons who try to conflate it with anything else. Arguably it's better to have interest in dating men as any kind of tranny freak, so you've got me in that regard...

>>5309153
Accelerated Graphics Port

>>5309247
>Accelerated Graphics Port
I know that much I'm not exactly new with hardware, I am new with lgbt lingo

>>5305954
>Who here had AGP and transitioned? Was it worth it?
I pretty sure most trans people especially those that are masculine and attracted to women are agp but will never admit it because it makes them feel disgusting and less true trans. I felt like that for a long time myself but eventually came to terms with it.

In my opinion it's totally worth it.

>>5308493
>I want to BE her and BE with her too
Yep that's classic agp.

>>5309247
>>5309263
>Accelerated Graphics Port
Is this a transbian thing or something? I always see trans anon posting this and think "computer talk...yep that's a transbian alright"

>>5309276
>totally worth it
Why? please elaborate

>>5309294
You get to become your own gf, doesn't get better then that tbhon.

>>5309276
yeah...I mean I know I'm definitely agp. the question is how much more will it consume me

>>5309282
idk, maybe. I just see it on here and think it's funny

>>5309304
:\

>>5309304
I knowww thats why I want to transition too but it feels so wrong

>>5299475
You can actually have Gender Dysphoria and have a sexual element to it. Most MtFs who are attracted to women have had that.
If you don't have dysphoria and transition purely as a fetish, then you'll GET dysphoria afterwards. Dysphoria sucks.
See a therapist, don't trust anons to tell you what's what.

>>5309425
but...how would you know? and how soon would you know? presumably you could know at a certain point into taking hormones right?
in my experience therapists aren't very helpful.

>>5309429
It's hard to figure out. I've been on HRT for nearly a year and thinking about this stuff for the past 2 years. Every waking moment, 24/7. I've nearly got it figured out now.
When I'd been on the HRT for a few weeks my libido disappeared. That made things clearer.

Some stuff to think about:
If you got a call from a doctor, and they said that they could do an experimental brain transplant. They could put your brain into the body of a normal woman, your age, who had some kind of brain cancer/whatever. She was otherwise healthy. You'd be average looking, maybe below average, but unremarkable.
The only catch would be that they couldn't connect the nerves to do with sexual arousal. You'd be totally asexual, incapable of being aroused, let alone orgasm.
Would you do it?

What do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror (in normal/guy mode)?

If you had a choice (genie or something) right now; you could be a normal guy forever, without thinking about this stuff ever again. You'd be incapable of thinking about it or ever being turned on by it; OR
You could transition right now, instantly. It'd be like you did it the normal real life way, but without having all of the in between shit. You'd end up as a post-op transsexual, you'd have a bit of facial surgery (if you need it) and it would be as good a result as is realistically possible for you.
What would you do?

>>5309482
>hit depression real hard when i started thinking i was trans
>didn't really masturbate for up to 6 weeks at some point
>slowly came back to the point that i got aroused maybe once or twice a week, or maybe bi weekly

Hormones bring my libido back with vengeance though it's weird. Not crazy male puberty levels but like i get the urge at least once a day. It's like touching downstairs is less likely to get me aroused but it's sometimes as much as something like a t shirt or jacket brushing my nipple

It also made me way more homo.

Still dunno what it all means though, i did it for 3-4 months, quit for 2 weeks and then started again about 6 weeks ago

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>>5309581
Sound trans to me, kid. You're here forever etc.
Stop feeling guilty. You're allowed to be aroused you know. If you're a woman deep inside *sad violin* then guess what? When you're horny you're a horny woman deep inside.

>>5309587
Eh i don't really want to do anything about it that i'm not already doing

I feel better about myself without the utter terror and anxiety surrounding coming out and trying to present etc

It's possible i'm trans but it doesnt matter. Being a feminine boy is the best middle ground for me.

>>5309592
Good. Hope it works out for you.

>>5309609
Thanks... Usually people on this board try to dissuade that attitude and pressure me into transitioning

I hope this works out too

>>5299721
please don't listen to
>>5299569
It's a very anecdotal experience. I was almost exclusively attracted to l women before I started HRT, now I'm 6 months in and my attraction to men has grown steadily.

do whatever you want OP

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>>5309641
We pressure you because being a feminine boy only lasts up to around 25. 30 if you're lucky. Past that you will look like pic related and likely kill yourself as a result.

>>5309781
Im on hormones nigga

>>5309781
They're on HRT already. They pressed the stop button.
Probably a good thing until they decide what the hell to do.

>>5309153
Autogynephilia

>>5309282
"Accelerated Graphics Port" is the first result for "AGP" on Urban Dictionary

>>5309153

ANGRY GAY PENIS