help

ew peridot

r.i.p my anus

>>5252384
So buy some laxatives or do an enema. It's not like a doctor is going to do anything different.

Eat prunes. Like lots and lots of prunes. Prepare for blastoff about ten hours later...

>>5252384
I recommend an enema, it does wonders

>>5252384
Go to sleep, wake up, have in this order:

Tablespoon of olive oil
Wait 3 minutes
Half glass of ice water
Wait 30 seconds
Half Mug of extra hot extra strong coffee
Wait 30 seconds
Finish ice water
Wait 30 seconds
Finish coffee

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>>5252384
Fucking prune juice you pleb

>>5253055
>not animated
>not named sunibee.gif

>>5252384
dude, use this opportunity to shove tons of shit up your ass. cleaning is the hardest part

If in USA, drink 2-3 glasses of Welch's grape juice. Delicious and will have you shitting purple for the rest of the day.

Mineral oil. Take 1-2 teaspoons. Cancel today and tomorrow's plans. You might be shitting the day after tomorrow too.

Pfft all this advice sucks.

What you need to do is go out and buy a 24, then get a 40 of vodka.

Mix the beer and vodka and drink as many as you can. Get like black out drunk.

When you wake up in the morning, guaranteed you will rocket into space from all the molten shit that will spew forth from your ass.

Then drink water and enjoy hangover! Cheers!

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>>5252384

>>5252561
>>5253055

These.

Also lots of water to avoid cramps.

>>5254386

Protein makes you more constipated.

>>5254377

eww

>>5252384
Get fucked up the ass, make sure they cum in there.

>>5254976

ewww

>>5252384
Check thyroid.

Eat prunes or drink prune juice.

shove a stick up there and swish it around it should break up the poop enough for you to pass it

Have you tried pooping?

>>5252543
It's it's been legit two weeks then surgery may be needed to relieve whatever is stopping the flow of feces. If you try to do so without knowing what you're doing, you could cause perforation of the bowels, which can kill you.

>>5252384
EAT OATS

>>5252384
Go and buy stool softeners.
If still not good, then call a hospital and ask.

>>5255693
Been constipated for 2 weeks to before, and stool softeners can be enough.

>>5252384
eat a lot of orange

>>5252384
mag citrate.
also underage b&