>I switch to English when a foreigner starts talking to me
>so threatened by superior Anglos that he can't even give a tourist (putting money into your economy and interested in your country/culture) directions in English.
>angl* tourist tries to ask me for directions in French but end up butchering my beautiful language
>send him to the ha*tian ghetto
>I switch to stuttering and verbal diarrhea when a girl tries talking to me
Why God Damn it?
because you actually fell for the "be yourself" meme
because you try to play a role, you want to sound cool and shit, but you aren't a cool guy, just be yourself.
I dunno why, but our nation is always too scared to talk in foreign languages unless we are drunk or experts at it.
What I love about you french fries is that even the most masculine guys will kiss other guys on the cheek when you greet. In Poland if you tried something like this you'd prolly get shot. Beside the capital 90% of poles are terrified and hate smallest specks of male to male integration beside shaking hands.
>masculine guys will kiss other guys on the cheek
Weird. I lived at Cote d'Azur for around a year and saw them buffed male teens kiss eachother on cheeks many times when they met around town. Thought every french dude/dudette gives 2-3-4 (never fucking know the number) kisses or pretended-kisses to their friend.
>mfw switching to english and acting as a insufferable douchebag while telling people I'm an american
Thank you for keeping the stereotype alive, best neutral country.
>Scanian attempts to communicate with me
>Switch to English
No fucks given
I always speak in english when a spaniard tries to speak with me, some get mad because we as a catalan should know their imperialist language but I never change to spanish since I was 13 yo
>Be foreigner in Shanghai
>Asian girls come up to talk to me
>Typical scammers trying to get me to go to tea shop
>"Uhh... Err.. Me no English.... From France"
>Girls start speaking fluent French
>Spaghetti and run away
I guess we're a middle thing between Nordic autism and Med impulsivity, we only kiss females on the cheeks for boirthday or if we haven't met for a long time, but it's only M/F or F/F, guys never do that, I guess the latter is an Arab thing (I mean men are holding hands down there FFS)
>is buthurt about people using English
>his own post is in English
>I call movies from my own country "foreign movies"
>talk with other brazilians and portugueses on Internet in english
Don't let the C*nadian propaganda fool you, they're all secretly cunts who will stab you in the back first chance they got.
If it wasn't for the United States keeping them in check, they would have conquered half the world by now.
Just biding our time
>being polite is now kekholdry
I think this about sums up /pol/ (and by extension its hold on other boards) the past year
>mfw I'm better at english than portuguese
>mfw I can make southern, french, spanish and russian accent perfectly
>mfw I can ALSO speak without any accent
>mfw I never meet any foreigners so I never have a chance to use my powelevel
>Implying I have a microphone
>Implying I have money
>Implying I'm barely getting by wondering if I'll survive the heat from the next months and the price inflation
>Implying I'm not on 4chan to escape reality
>Implying I don't keep laughing to not cry
Yeah well my gf forgot to bring me fries with my cheeseburger. You don't know hardship.
There is a theory that Dutch isn't a real language. All Dutch people are perfectly fluent in English and they only speak "Dutch", which is simply gobblygook to keep up the ruse, when English speakers are present.
>tfw secretly shit like this is my favourite thing about the French
>talk to non-arabs&non-blacks in english,friendly, give google maps to travelling byciclists atdirections at cost of paying for mobile internet s since I'm still on vodafone
>refuse to aknowledge arabs and niggers even go as far as to give wrong directions
>be in France
>in restaurant with parents
>try to act all savvy and impress my parents by ordering in French
>waiter asks me to repeat myself in English
>sheepishly order in English
>later on my parents order a bottle of wine and I get a glass too
>ask for ice cubes
>he asks me if I'm sure twice
>later see him staring at me from the door by the kitchen
It's really difficult to make friends with French people.
>switch to Irish when I don't want foreigners to understand what I'm saying
>"how many languages do you speak, Josef?"
>"you are worth two dollars"
>ice cubes in wine
I thought the British were supposed to be cultured.
Do you put ketchup on your steak?
If it's white it should be chilled anyway.
And if it's red, you're doing it fucking wrong lad.
>inherently only able to half speak English because i'm American
>ketchup on steak
I thought Americans were supposed to be cultured
Oh wait, not I didn't
>speak english without a noticable eastern european accents
>whenever i speak english in dota to teammates my mates on skype make fun of it because it's not hood enough
>find old canadian man in my town looking for the tourist centre
>I offer to walk him there as I don't know it well enough to give directions
>He is rude as fuck and I just leave him to it after about 20 metres
>75% of people in my area also speak English
>the rest speak French
>any time a French person needs help with something, they speak English
>if their English is poor, I try to use my equally poor French to help them out
>we both have a good laugh and do our best to communicate anyway
>don't feel the need to talk deeper around blacks
>don't stutter and spaghetti out when talking to women
>just relax and talk like a normal person
Hey, have any of you tried NOT being autists?
>not keking the USA with spanish
dont worry lad we will wipe english from this continent
once we conquer the USA you are next to be honest
>foreigner says excuse me
>feign a shocked expression, shake my head and raise my arms then immediately start walking away very fast
Either learn that it is completely unacceptable to stop strangers on the street or get the fuck out of here you foreign piece of shit
because they know just like overseas French women were MADE for Anglo cock