If I don't do something with myself, I'm probably going to go insane. But at the same time, actually trying to bring myself to do anything is agonizingly difficult. It's the issue with depression that doing the things to get you out of it are often the very things you can't do because you're in a state of depression.
And the issue that's causing all this mess won't really resolve itself, except maybe with time, and even then I don't know. It's just wearing me down. It's been like this for over two months now, and I know I should be doing something, but I'm running out of options. How do you think your way out of a situation when your mind is your own worst enemy?
And sure, some days it's okay, and some days it's really fucking bad, but it's tiring. It's all really, really tiring. And sometimes I feel like I just want to sleep, but lately it's like I can't even do that honestly. And my mind keeps going around in circles and I just want to turn it all off. I think this is maybe what drives people to suicide, when they just can't really take it anymore, and not existing at all is seen as infinitely preferable to whatever they have at the time.
So I'm just going to sit here in this perpetual state of misery until some outside force acts on me or I can't take it anymore and I do something to bring me out of where I'm stuck. And I don't know if that's art or not. It might be, but at this point, I can't even figure it out anymore. I don't know if I want to do art. I don't know if I want to do anything. I think this is why people take up substance abuse. I've never had a drink in my life, but it's like, shit, maybe I should start.
I hope I figure something out soon, because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
Hey I've been there man, I know that feel. I was that depressed loner with no friends in hs. Keep working on your artwork, srsly that's the thing that will keep you fulfilled in life. Even if your depressed you will still be fulfilled if you have art which is something a lot of happy people don't have. Plus being down is poetic, that's your inspiration right there. Hang in there, shit actually does get better trust me.
>>2292551 They're pretty well done memes man. Not gonna lie. I'm amazed at how you captured each of them. It doesn't exactly make me feel an emotion but I definitely plan on using it as a reaction image
>>2292431 >Make a playlist of music you know 90% of the lyrics too and can just sing >set up easel >sikence phone/distractions >turn off computer >retreat to cabin in secluded woods >sing, sing sing. >Start singing while painting >if you think, go back to singing while working >congrats you just turned off your brain and threw it into feel mode
You can condition your brain to just rid itself of thought. Quit thinking, start jazzing. Come on man.
>Just spent 30minutes free styling to jazz instrumentals while doing dishes >perception of time is a thinking process >not a single thought was given that day.
I don't see what's embarrassing about it but then again I've become uncompromisingly open minded so maybe I'm not aware anymore. I could see an argument that this >>2287944 is slightly embarrassing because it uses some children's iconography although that's a very calculated decision. When it comes to art I don't really get embarrassed anymore, I don't have time for it.
whats the point of this? you just wanted to draw a bunch of memes? Its pretty unintresting. I mean could you do something more than just coping pictures into a massive clusterfuck of a collage? I mean hell, even a series of diptychs would have been more effective that this. Also work on your rendering.
>>2293102 its embarrassing because memes are jokes but your image isn't funny, nor does it invoke a feeling or tell a story, and you just drew them as they already looked. not alternative style. and youre asking for thoughts as if this is a piece and not just practice. and your CHOICE of meme images lead someone to believe you only know about "mainstream" memes, and by the time an inside joke gets popular, its not funny anymore. its just a desperate attempt at fitting in.
>>2293272 >>2293125 jeff the killer became well-known because the image of him was frightening for people, even when the pasta is lack luster. thats something you can take away from memes... the images are used because they represent the emotion the person is trying to convey really well. but theres no point in drawing a meme if you are adding nothing to it. it was funny when new pepe images would just pop up in thread while people were talking and they looked different but they were still the same image. it was like everyone was adding to it and if it fit with the context it was funnier. whats the point of going to the effort of drawing something like a meme and adding nothing to it? thats missing the point of a meme entirely
>dissecting memes im a faggot but at least i know what the point of making art and why i think something is funny
I don't see them as jokes. I consider them reaction images. They are a practical tool to convey a feeling online visually. Reaction images are very functional memes, they aren't a joke in and of themselves.
I chose the popular ones because images which people recognize have more power than obscure ones you've never seen before. That's why Duchamp's urinal and Warhol's soup cans stood out from the other art in their respective movements.
>>2293283 >I chose the popular ones because images which people recognize have more power than obscure ones you've never seen before.
thats not true. the less personal something gets the less power it has. warhol's soup can is personal because its a cheap soup from people's childhood, that gives it context. wojak was used in images because its reminiscent of talking to someone on 4chan and the environment here from the old days when drawing with a mouse was more common and shoddy looking images felt more genuine. if you see them as reaction images then its still dumb because you aren't conveying anything with this that you couldn't with the original images. a person who couldnt draw as well as you could probably do a better job of conveying a new feeling because at least theirs wouldnt look exactly like the original.
you seem to be stuck in this rut where you think good art is just a combination of the right images. In Basquiat's biography they described him as "casting spells on the canvas", which is fairly accurate. He knew the right combination of imagery, lines, and colors to create great works of art. You aren't Basquiat. It's harder for people like you and me. Worry less about what you are drawing and more about how you are drawing. You seem like you want to be famous really badly, and that's fine, but you don't have the taste, technique or intuition to just sit down and knock out masterpieces.
My advice is to focus on drawing and painting from life. Do portraits, landscapes, figures, still lifes. Even judging by your "realism" work you don't seem to have a love for nature, or a love for art. You don't seem like you feel small in the vastness of nature, and the beauty of light and darkness. You just paint to be famous.
You need to draw more from life. It's more important to you for you to love what you are painting and drawing, even if you don't love the drawings and paintings you are making. You should at the very least appreciate and love the things the things you think are impossible to put down on paper and canvas, even if it seems like you'll never be able to create things as beautiful as what you are looking at.
You are too self-satisfied, and that's the telltale sign of an artist who's just starting out. You think you are doing a good job. No famous artists thought they were doing a good enough job. And that kind of humility only comes from doing this for a long time.
I'd say give up this "meme" thing. It's making you a worse artist.
>the less personal something gets the less power it has. warhol's soup can is personal because its a cheap soup from people's childhood, that gives it context. wojak was used in images because its reminiscent of talking to someone on 4chan and the environment here from the old days when drawing with a mouse was more common and shoddy looking images felt more genuine.
That whole paragraph supports my claim that popular images that people recognize (and thus are more personal according to you) are more powerful.
>you aren't conveying anything with this that you couldn't with the original images
When I put many together it makes what I'm doing more clear. People wouldn't understand I'm making art with reaction images if I just painted a scary clown. It would just be a fan art painting of pennywise.
Also I think having lots makes the feeling even more aggressive. Your eyes go from one to the next and you feel that emotion every time instead of just the initial reaction followed by nothing that you have with a single figure.
>You aren't Basquiat. It's harder for people like you and me.
Nobody is better than you, the second you think that you might as well quit because your putting a limit on your potential. You also shouldn't think past great artists are worse than you though.
>No famous artists thought they were doing a good enough job. And that kind of humility only comes from doing this for a long time.
Not at all, I never think I'm good enough, that's why I put in 12 plus hours a day in the studio and why I continually completely throw away everything I'm doing. I'm probably going to quit with rendering because I don't think it's the right approach.
Before you say I don't have any life drawing experience, look at my work I was doing a couple years ago http://lurkersupreme1.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24
>>2293321 no, you idiot, if something is popular it isn't personal. thats why blacks get mad over whites using their slang.
its jsut pictures of things you think other people think is scary. it wont invoke a feeling in anyone. they will just go "oh hey! thats ___! i know him!" and leave it. and thats why you drew them, because people will recognize them as cool memes and its easier than using your own head and trying to scare someone and actually making them feel something on their own.
>warhol's soup can is personal because its a cheap soup from people's childhood, that gives it context. wojak was used in images because its reminiscent of talking to someone on 4chan and the environment here from the old days when drawing with a mouse was more common and shoddy looking images felt more genuine.
Wait so your saying wojack and Cambels soup aren't popular? You seem a little confused.
>and thats why you drew them, because people will recognize them as cool memes
I've already told you why I drew them, I'm not going to clarify again, you can scroll up.
Thats cool those are supposed to be memes, I didn't get that at all, I thought they were just little trite puns. That's cool your thinking in the online context, I think there's going to be a lot of us and were going to fuck the contemporary art world up.
Thanks I was going to try that but you saved me the work. Do you mind if I show it in a gallery?
>>2293388 Yeah maybe I should just stop with the bickering. But I like defending my work, it helps me find the weak points in my logic and also helps me have more coherent arguments when I'm discussing my work with peers, professors, and eventually buyers and curators.
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