Let's do this, 4chan.

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>we

>we
You need to go back.

>>62457301
That's a shit idea try again.

Imagine all the people smashing their phones on the fucking ground

You need something more subtle and logical. The microwave one was perfect, same for the "1970 retro" iPhone.

>All new OLED screen is the toughest! Tougher than diamond and sapphire! Lifetime warranty, try to scratch it!
>Glass back and edges of the screen change colour with severe temperature changes: Try dropping it in boiling water then dropping it into freezing cold water

>>62457334
this. I know iphone users are braindead but I still doubt they'd believe smashing their phone would charge it

>>62457301
"Dropping it on the ground charges it" yeah no one is that stupid.

It has to be at least SLIGHTLY plausible. How about "shaking it charges the battery" which you can compare to those old flashlights that charge by shaking.

But that won't lead to a lot of damage like the microwave idea.

It's also a month too early for this, wait till people actually have new iphones.

Kinetic charging is a good idea, but "throw your phone at the ground" is something you'd have to be as retarded to come up with as to fall for.

Just tell them to swing it in big circles as fast as they can, like those mechanical watches it charges by movement. Normally it doesn't get enough to actually increase the charge, just slow the drain while you walk around during the day, but if you whirl your arm around hard enough you can actually see it go up a percent or two.
Hitting the ground will be a natural result of that

I did a shit job at the pciture, but if it looked more professional and used really smart sounding words it would definetely convince a few people.

>>62457308
>>62457320
we, as in the people on this fucking website you spergs

>>62457301
After all the recent iterations of trolling, normies will be too skeptical for this. Find other ways to fuck with them

>>62457371
You did a shit job with everything.

>>62457381
They said that the last 2 times and it still worked. Normies don't learn.

>>62457381
>>62457388
you have to make the delivery as believable as possible. the add needs to be slick as fuck and look like it was made by apple. then it needs to be posted all over social media so as many stupid people see it as possible.

I made that shitty image in paint.net, I was just giving a general idea for others to work and improve upon

>>62457301
They are stupid but I don't think this will work. Having them shake the phone might work though as most will drop/fling it it trying.

Actually, thats a good idea. Not only could it be flung from their hands, but it could also cause wrist pain.

>>62457301
tell them they can charge it by boiling it in salt water. say the salt is there to help the transfer of energy.

xd

>>62457301
>wrong font
>wrong coloiurs
>shitty text

go back to the_zionistoligarch you newfag

>>62457301
Looks horrible, like something a 13years old kid would come up whit

Maybe something to do with facial recognition? Locking people out of their own phone?

>>62457371
you fucking failure piece of shit, kill yourself pajeet

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I threw this together in a few minutes.

nobody ever falls for this stuff. can you guys at least try to make them believable this time around? some production value, maybe spell check, etc...

>>62457371
anti-apple zealots, everybody

>>62457947
You should've taken another minute and done some typesetting or something

>>62457978
Dude that is 100% their original font typesetting and everything from their website.

Put it this way OP, even if it goes no further than this thread you made a number of autists angry with how terrible the idea is so you still got some (you)s.

>>62457371
"smart sounding words"

Oh, you didn't think "top-notch" was a smart sounding word?

>>62457947
hahhaha what about microwave emergency charging?

just in case a normie loses the charger

Let's take it a step further. For emergency charging:
By putting a fork in your wall socket and the base of your phone against the fork you can charge it.

>>62457380
We decided there is no "we", you would know if you were a part of us.

iPhone X has a peltier element which means you can charge it with heat, just put it in your butt for 2 minutes for a full day's charge

>>62457301
This one is really shit

This won't work, nobody is this autistic besides OP

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Hydronomic grounding.

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What ever happened to this project? We all turned to shit cannot beat the microwave version in greatness

>>62458173
>>62458202
Nice

>>62458173
You're not thinking like a normie
>Data speeds triple when submerged

It should be;
>Faster Wifi

or even better
>IOS updates faster when in water (Due to better temparature)

or
>Iphone charges faster when placed underwater. New lightning cable is waterproof, too!

I think the shaking thing will work. They will start shaking it harder and harder as they will see that it doesn't charge.
Even if they won't drop it this is subtle enough that people will believe it works for years. It will be funny to see people in the streets frantically shaking their dead phones so they can make a call.

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>>62457366
>It has to be at least SLIGHTLY plausible. How about "shaking it charges the battery" which you can compare to those old flashlights that charge by shaking.
This is actually quite a good idea, I don't know why no one else is acknowledging it

"Now you can customize your screen with iColor. Our new screen is specially made to allow the user to paint in watercolor directly on it without damage, make your phone unique to you."

>>62458377
because shaking it won't damage it

"Apple hid an additional section of usable screen space under the black bar at the top, use a very very fine sandpaper to remove it and you'll have a full front display!"

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>>62458681
Might work, images for the end result

I think it would me much more subtle to tell that Apple has gone over their way to make the phone as durable as possible in order to avoid people covering their design. In this way people that usually buy a cover won't use it resulting in more accidental damage on average.

>>62457333
if you think some people won't actually try this you have too much faith in human intellect especially the technically retarded apple users

>shitty font
>italic

>>62457431
>>62457467

Do you even know how Reddit you look right now

>>62459260
every year /g/ demonstrates that they pay about as much attention to detail as chinese knockoff brands. everything's just a little bit off and looks like they were either too lazy or too stupid to do it right.

"You can now wirelessly charge your iPhone by placing in on a stove top and turning up the heat" let's to dis

>Let's do this, 4chan
get the fuck out of here, redditor

>>62458173
>IPhone
Are you retarded?

New in iPhone X: smash it with a hammer and ur crushes name appears on screen! WEIRD BUT IT WORKS

>>62457301
>ALERT, New reports say that a simple scratch on the brand new iPhone X could cause the phone to explode cuz [Insert cientific reason]. Apple is asking their costumers to return their phones as quickly as possible for a revision.

watch them run to the genious bar

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Apple fonts .zip:

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>>62460400
resized

IPhone X can detect gaz leaks thanks to its new sensors, if there is enough gaz in the room. What do you guise think?

>>62459964
>apple grows a billion dollars over night

great job

>>62460400
>>62460608
oh my god, this is fucking hilarious

you guys know that the iphone has an operating temperature range of 0 Celsius to 35C, right? and it can sit in storage as low as -20C.

this thread is like watching cartoon-quality bad guys plan a bank heist.

>>62457301
> I CAN'T AFFORD THESE HIGH-END APPLE PHONES, LAPTOPS AND IMACS
> I'VE NEVER EVEN TRIED ONE AT THE STORE LET ALONE USED ONE YET I'M MAD AT THEM
> I'M SEVERELY DEPRESSED AND MAD AT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS
> I'M OUT OF MY AUTISM PILLS TODAY BECAUSE MY ANXIETIES AND MENTAL ILLNESS ARE PREVENTING ME FROM LEAVING MY MOM'S BASEMENT
> I'M NOW SHIFTING ALL THE HATE TOWARDS THINGS I CANNOT HAVE
> I BETTER MAKE ANOTHER THREAD ON AUTISM /g/ENERAL FORUM ABOUT IT SO I CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE MY LIFE IS
> I KEEP ON POSTING BULLSHIT MEMES BECAUSE IT'S ALL I CAN DO. JUST LOOK AT THE ARCHIVE AND MD5 OF MY POSTS TO SEE THE LEVEL OF MY ILLNESS
> PS: SOMEONE PLS KILL ME BECAUSE I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO DO IT MYSELF
> PPS: PLEASE! MY FAMILY IS SICK OF ME AND WANTS ME GONE. JUST HELP ME END IT ALL
the post

>>62460769
>Operating ambient temperature: 32° to 95° F (0° to 35° C)
>Nonoperating temperature: −4° to 113° F (−20° to 45° C)

Wow, a redditor is a retard. Color me surprised.

>>62460814
lol u mad

>>62460872
every year someone comes to /g/ looking to crowdsource this. the incompetent, retarded, vague brand hate is a distinctly 4chan thing. the finished products just end up on reddit where it starts having a traceable history

>>62460814
autistic basement dweller detected

>>62460923
All we care about is retards breaking their phones. You redditors can keep the recognition, as you always do.

>>62460973
i'm not a redditor. i'm just amused by how fully retarded you guys are every year. it's like you're the chinese companies that manufacture knockoff "iFones" and "Galaksee S 8s".

you guys go to make an ad encouraging people to freeze their phones, but you don't even put in the basic effort to see what's sufficiently low to cause damage. how stupid can you be?

>>62457301
> lets put the fingerprint scanner next to the flat camera
> surely this will work just fine

>>62457333
Yeah

>>62458298
>>Iphone charges faster when placed underwater. New lightning cable is waterproof, too!

This might kill a few idiots

>>62457659
Its called a draft, autismo.

>>62461245
lol sure.

OLED... Organic LED... Maybe something about keeping the screen alive, like well fed and hydrated? Or keep it on sun for some period of time? Or else your organic screen will die.

>>62461202
Sorry, Even the biggest phone chargers out there will only do 5 amp at 5 volt. Not enough to kill anyone. Only if they bring main voltage with them in the bathtub. Even macbook chargers dont have enough juice to kill anyone and no one will bring their apple PC in the pool.

Might kill some phones. That's something

>>62461311
>Organic Leds become less brighter over time due to oxidation. Use water to re energize the Light-emitting diode.

Fancy terms + Idiot Apple Normies = success

>>62461357
*Dont know when the Iphone ceases to be waterproof, anything longer than 12 hours and people will not make the effort.

>>62460608
>>62460400
I love it, how the fact that winter is fucking cold (sub zero)missed your mind

bringing the Phone deeper underwater actually makes the phone more water resistant due to the water pressure pushing the materials closer together.

>>62460608
only thing that'll happen is that the battery drains fucking fast.
but it does so anyway, most users won't notice a difference ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

May as well go full retard with...
>you can now charge your iPhone instantly on an exposed 3-phase cable

The display is also a solar panel. Leave your phone in the sun for a few hours to charge.

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>>62461202

>>62461426
That's a good one, Take your Iphone to deep pools. Sadly I dont think anyone will do that.

>>62461440
Someone needs to make a fake video showing that it's not dangerous to touch exposed 3-phased cable due to natural resistance of the human body and then "Charge" an iphone with it.

I'm not gonna spend a thousand dollar like that.

>>62461508
Kek.

You're doing gods work, anon.

>>62461593
The only problem with this image is that iPhone X can only be charged with that stupid wireless charging meme, so you can't fry anything.

>>62457301
NYPA.

>>62461623
Fck, forgot about that. You can still use traditional chargers right?

These phones are Tard-proof

New oled screen needs hydrogen for better 3D touch and display resolution, black zone is actually a recharge zone, put it into chlorhydric acid for half an hour to enhance 3D and screen contrast.

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>>62459964
i like this one
>>62460766
appel is going to grow anyway. we're trying to affect normie idiots here.

More ideas
>iPhone X: Get ahead of the weather
>In-built barometer, thermometer and rain gaugecollect data to provide the most accurate weather forecast for for YOUR local area. No more innacurate reports. Simply leave your iPhone outside for 5 minutes first thing in the morning and it will do the rest!

>iPhone X: Your completely NSA-proof device
>Apple has cracked the NSA's algorithms to create the ultimate device in security and privacy. Feel free to use your iPhone exactly how you see fit, safe in the knowledge that your iCloud data, files and selfies are impossible to hack into even by the US goverment. Because here at Apple, we RESPECT your privacy.
(This one won't do anything per se, but will encourage users to be more lax and put everything in the cloud despite news of celeb hacks, increasing the damage should they get hacked)

>iPhone X: No sleep disruption
>Using our pateneted OLED technology, the iPhone X's screen doesn't keep you awake like previous LCD backlit technology does. OLED pixels are dynamic, meaning at night Siri uses your calendar to determine how much sleep you need for the next day, and alters the display pixel frequency to enhance seratonin and melatonin, helping you naturally fall asleep. No need to put down your iPhone, dim the display or turn your screen red.
Ruin normies' sleep cycles, make them late and get them fired!

>>62461650
newfag

>>62461829
None of that has the michael bay effect we want

>>62461811
Actually, it looks like it still uses the Lightning connector, which is good.

>>62461869
That's not gonna work any more, most normies are aware of 'iPhone pranks'. Subtlety is the new game, mah nigga.

jesus fucking christ can we ban programmers from using gimp or photoshop

That font is fucking disgusting, there's no sort of layout that would make it look even remotely like an Apple website.

Who the fuck let you put LIGHT BLUE against white? God damn, if graphic designers were allowed to vote to lynch people, you'd be first one the list today.

>>62457301
You have to go back

>>62461508
How is this going to damage the phone?

I'm quite surprised no one is taking advantage of the notch. How about being able to remove the notch by pressing hard on it?

>>62461905
Don't give them tips anon, just watch and laugh.

>>62461575
No one will fall for that. Too much work.

>>62457301
>we
Kill yourself.

Also, shaking it would be more believable. Get people to sit there endlessly flailing for no good reason.

>>62461970
The top part? I was thinking about that too. Something like
>Don't like the shape of the upper screen? The iPhone X's adaptive super retina screen changes to better fit ambient light. Take some [black adhesive or polymer or some shit], lovely paint it over the uneven part, and the top bar will sink down into the flat area, thus removing the unshapely indent on the top.

If I can think of something that would be hard to take off of the screen, it would be somewhat plausible because there's enough buzz words to go around. Imagine people not being able to tell what their charge or reception is at.

>>62461812
>New oled screen needs hydrogen for better 3D touch and display resolution, black zone is actually a recharge zone, put it into chlorhydric acid for half an hour to enhance 3D and screen contrast.

This is the way to go, use new features to get them do something unusual.

As an apple pajeet, I hope you guys come up with something good. I heard stories about customers calling in with the microwave thing lmao

>>62461321
I have an S5 neo (technology that is a few years old), it detects when the port is wet and blocks charging, basically nothing happens. Charging underwater isn't something that's gonna break the iPhone.

>>62457301
If this works, I will laugh until I fall out of my chair.

>>62462324
It won't.

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This at least looks legit, you guys fucking suck at making shitpost images

I think microwave charging would be a good one to try again. Fits very well with the wireless charging they're hyping up.
Sure it's been done before but the people who fall for these aren't bright.

Get over it /g/ents the microwave prank was the best we could pull out against the iSheep we are better off doing sth else

>>62457301
Make them attach their iscrap to a rope and turn it real fast. They mactards will surely crash it somewhere.

>>62462538
The new iPhone gets charged by bleeding on it.

>>62460400
>>62460608
It's better if you convince them that they need to first "prime" the phone by submerging it in water and then freezing it.

At Apple we're constantly trying to innovate by pushing the limits of what our hardware can do. Introducing Sub-Zero, an anhydrous cooling gel that insulates the iPhone against changes in temperature. You will never again feel your phone heat up while you use your favorite apps.

Simply prime the Sub-Zero layer by submerging the phone in water and freezing it for two hours. After that point you can gently run warm water on the ice to free your phone. Simply turn it on and enjoy the performance increase!

>>62460608
swap "faster when frozen" to
>"runs faster at lower temperatures"

Make it subtle as possible so normies canfall for it

Since I'm feeling generous-
All of your ideas fucking suck, like seriously. You're either autists or edgy retards.

In any case - Tell them to put the their phone in the over for 30 minutes at 200c.
Your rationale is that phones heat up when they charge, explain that this is actually because the battery gains charge when it's heated and that's what is happening when the phone is charging.
Applel's new innovation is Apple new tough glass (they actually did make new glass for iphone8 and X, it's not corning glass) is some sort of super ceramic/copper/alumium hybrid that can withstand hundreds of degrees and BIONIC is designed for high temperature environments, so the Phone can be placed in the over for a super quick charge or even to repair the battery.

>>62463306
actually a good idea.
>phone gets warm when in use
>prewarm it so it's already at working temperature

>>62463306
why are you helping these idiots? they're just going to put flames at the bottom of the image or something, like fucking retards

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Not feeling very creative lel.

>>62459243
L.O.L. yeah dude totes this is a great troll, OP, stupid sheeple Apple users L.M.A.O.

>>62463955
>environement
Cold water running over it isn't enough to ruin it.

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>>62460814
what phone operating system people use is *very important* to my life.

it's literally the only thing going on in my life. my very reason for being.

>>62457334
Color change one is good

>>62463955
>environement
>enhance your window to your digital world
is english your second language or something? how do you go through all the work of putting this in an image editor and save this stuff without noticing that you've misspelled basic words, or that the writing style reads like a 12-year-old wrote it?

>>62464091
Just trying to emulate apple-speak, give me a break.

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>>62457301

>>62458102
>there is no "we"
>a part of us

fucking kek

>>62462414
>acceleromenter

>>62462057
No, you have to press on it to disable to 3d emoji and face scanning mode and turn the screen on.

Pretty sure you can just do the microwave thing again

>>62464167
quality

The proof that any of these pranks have actually done anything is pretty underwhelming. There's only like a handful of pictures and thats it.

The potential for lulz is pretty low, since if anyone actually breaks it, they won't exactly post about it.

Fuck this boring garbage.

>>62457334
iPhone 7's can actually withstand boiling water though

>>62463306
Even better you can compare it to fixing a graphics card in the oven, even apple normies have seen those videos and some even did it to their Macs.

Just so you people know, I've reported this thread to Apple Inc..

I really wish that people actually fell for these things.

>>62466710
>>62466820
thanks for bumping

>>62461650
Gotta get back. Back to R.ddit. Samurai NewFag

>>62457370
I've got the apple font and ive really been itching to make another one of these images. "Swinging arms wildly" is great. Gonna make it tonight.

>>62457380
>We the people
I concur.
>1st Amendment
The right to shitpost.
>2nd Amendment
The right to weaponized autism and to bear memetic firearms.

We're making progress here senpaitachi

Jesus Christ you guys are fucking retarded.

>>62467576
Where the fuck do you think you are you absolute fucking autistic niggerchild

>>62460814
Ouch, someone's defensive about their first phone. Daddy might decide to confiscate it if he catches you being so negative on the internet.

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Heres my take on this

NO ONE WILL THROW THEIR PHONE ON THE GROUND YOU ABSOLUTE RETARD THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

THE REASON PAST THINGS HAVE WORKED IS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN THEY, SAY, MICROWAVED THEIR FUCKING PHONES

>>62457301
>At least use apple font dumb fuck

>>62457370
People have fucking stood on their tablets because they were told it could measure their weight.
People ARE that dumb.

>>62468657
It's waterproof

Since they have induction charging, just tell them that inductive cooking stoves will charge their phones way quicker

It's believable because Apple promised fast wireless charging, and inductive stoves are very high power

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Rate?

>>62469154
Looks very legit

>>62469198
Whoa thanks ;)

>attach your phone to a bike wheel, and it will charge on your way to the campus farmers market

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>>62469154

How about no.

>>62469227
>secure iphonex to the rims of your smart car for fast green kinetic charging. for best results drive on the freeway over 60mph.

>>62469255
I'm obviously talking about the concept not actual picture

>>62457308
Wuz?

How about

>Due to the Iphonex's ability to wirelessly charge, it is now able to withdraw electrons from negative ions in drinks that contain them such as coka-cola, if you dip your phone in the drink then it will absorb electrons from the drink and charge

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i think i did a pretty good job

>>62469130
Millenials don't have the money to buy induction ranges/cooktops. Those things are expensive.

>>62469528
An idea should be made from stuff that millennials have easy access to.

>>62469605
After making this post, I got a spark of inspiration. Vaginal charging: You put the phone up a woman's vagina (shouldn't be hard), and then wait for the phone to fully charge, or just ejaculate on the phone.

>>62469421
I like this one

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>>62469421
Waiting to see brainlet iToddlers shaking their iToys furiously.

>>62469421
>to use iPhone
>to keep iPhone
>shake iPhone
These ads usually refer to the phone as -your- iPhone. Also it's not the goddamn Apple font

>>62458019
That has already been done before

>>62470319
>>62469421

Easiest way is go to the Apple website and just edit element in real time using your browser.

>italic turquoise text in an Apple ad

Are you fucking retarded and autistic too?

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>tfw my 15 minues of internet fame are over
>tfw the credit went to hiroshimoot

>>62462414
>accelerometer generating power
Next you're gonna tell me a thermometer generates heat or cold

>>>/b/
Put it there

>>62470483
It's the fate of anonemoose. You did a good job, that should be enough.

>>62461357
> >Organic Leds become less brighter over time due to oxidation.

Are there any reducing agents that are easily available and can damage the phone?

>>62458173
>>62457947
>Iphone

>>62472888
How can you tell?

>>62472888
Pathetic attention whore.

>>62457301
>Let's do this, 4chan
>We
>CNN reports
Go back to where you came from you stupid fucking underage redditor

>>62457301
>shit idea
>shit shop

>>62473223
>shake
The Harlem Shake?

>>62460922
>>62460953
>>62464002
>>62467905
>this many newfags in this thread

>>62461946
The wireless charger isn't waterproof

>>62464167
Best
Saved

>>62462414
>acceleromenter
you dumb shit
To generate power you need a magnet and a coil. That's precisely what the Taptic Engine(tm) is. Use that.

>>62474064
oh, and also you could make this an iOS feature for iPhones with taptic engine, so 7 and newer.

>>62464848
That's the joke dipshit

>>62460814
spotted the iphone user

if you don't have Helvetica Neue don't waste your time making an awful ad

>>62474284
>Helvetica Neue
wow, go back to your fake iPhone 5 ads
Apple uses San Francisco for everything now

You need to be more subtle. Perhaps something like "free replacement screen glass for life". Apple would be saturated with people demanding a screen fix within hours.

>>62464167
gold

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>>62474064
>he doesn't know you can generate power with a capacitor

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>>62475414
>he thinks you can

>>62475498
you can, all you need is a variable capacitor

>>62468963
proof for this claim?

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>>62475623

>>62457301
Excuse me, why wouldn't you just move your arm? God you androids are retarded.

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>>62477321
ok my dude, follow along for a second here.

imagine you have a charge Q stored in a capacitor, the capacitor is isolated so Q can't change.
now you decrease the capacity of said capacitor.

since C=Q/V and Q is constant, what happens is the voltage increases. so now you have the same amount of charge Q, but at a higher voltage so you have more energy stored in the capacitor than before.

>>62477321
>>62478043
oh, there's also a way to do this where you keep the voltage constant, but this is easier to explain :')

>>62466710
Thanks, Rajesh

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Guys, you are over complicating everything. Be subtle.

Apple already announced it is water resistant, so just take the original picture of the website and add a line saying

>>"now you can watch your videos or listen to your tunes while in the shower "


Or something like that, just make people take their pones to take a bath with them.

>>62478614
That's probably not the effect you're going for seeing as how people can literally do this right now. The damn phone is submersible.

>>62478625
For a short time. If you do that constantly vapor will get into the phone, voiding the warranty. This is one of the top causes for failure in older models

>>62461427
Kek

>>62478614
Do it yourself then

>>62466693
Nice, very nice ! Someone can make a pretty good pic with this

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