I'll be deciding what programmers get hired onto my team.

>>61996420
number of stripes on the programming socks

>>61996429
one of the worst memes in /g/ history

Ask them what BASIC stands for
Useless trivia is one of the most important skills

>>61996420
only hire queer PoCs.

ruin your job interview in a single sentence GO

>I'm very good with networking technology, especially Facebook and LinkedIn

>>61996420
How about you make a normal interview?
No "what type of animal you would be" HR bullshit.
However if you do make retarded questions, your future collages will think of you as a retarded perso

>>61996609
Oh the actual interview will be. I'm just curious what (bad) ideas /g/ has

I know someone who took the agile manifesto, changed some works, and quizzed people on what was wrong

>>61996420
ask them why they do/don't use Linux

>>61996632
I see.
I would ask them to write some function the worst way they can, but still working

>>61996660
i find this humorous

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Ask them to assemble a computer like in pic related. But one of the components is damaged, and it won't turn on/do something. See how they react

>>61996420
Lines of code since beginning of career.
If candidate chimps out after hearing the question:hired.

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>>61996420
fizzbuzz

it's proven to weed out fakes
https://css-tricks.com/tales-of-a-non-unicorn-a-story-about-the-trouble-with-job-titles-and-descriptions/

>>61996660
if you have the candidate explain why the code is bad code, this might actually be a good idea

>>61996420
ask them what kind of tools, languages, operating systems.. they wouldn't want to work with. Weed out the ones that have the stupidest opinions.

Ask them about their private projects. When they have something interesting, ask if they could imagine selling the idea to the company.

>>61996720
Aren't programmers notoriously bad with hardware?

>>61996420
>must be white or jewish or east asian
>IQ test them, anything below 130 is instantly dismissed
>Must be male
That's it

fizzbuzz the primes under 2 million into a christmas tree shape on a whiteboard

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>>61996490
hello im here for the job interview

>>61996420
Tell the the broad goal of the system they will be working in and some constraints and work through spitballing an architecture with them. Don't correct them but point out some scenarios that might cause problems and see if they can adapt. Ask them to talk about some technologies/libraries that might be appropriate. It isn't an exam with right answers and you don't need to quiz them on language gotchas or autistic manifestos. Just see if they are intelligent and understand what it means to program. Any specifics you should be able to reach them in the job.

>>61996758
Assembling a computer is like playing with lego, They wouldn't have to pick out the best parts for value etc.

>>61996744
I have my preferred software, but I don't think there is anything I wouldn't work with, maybe SAP and ABAP, but I wouldn't be there in the first place if they need that

>>61996490
>"are you a cia nigger?"

>>61996771
how can you fizzbuzz primes?

>>61996802
exactly

>>61996420
Fuck it, why even bother doing a technical interview? Just demand right on the spot that they perform fellatio and tell them they are not getting hired if they refuse.

ask them their opinion on the unsolved millennium prize problems

>>61996787
>you are hired
>tfw applying for position in circus

>>61996811

Microsoft?

>>61996824
not in the western world. These failed aboirtions are normal there

>>61996828
Are you accusing MS of doing what I described?

Show that all integers above two are the sum of two primes

>>61996811
>>61996828
Even better yet if you live in the Bay Area. With the sky high rent prices they know the clock is ticking on the amount of time they have before rent costs deplete their remaining savings and would thus feel more pressured to comply.

>>61996858

I'm not proud of how I got my position, but at least I got the job.

>>61996869
1 isn't a prime, therefore 3 isn't the sum of 2 primes

>>61996887
Are you saying that you work at Microsoft and sucking dick is in fact how you obtained that position?

>>61996788
Sounds like the system design interview I had (and bombed) at Google

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>>61996850
this guy is actually a southern german car mechanic called Joel Miggler. apparently he's got black eyeballs too now

>>61996420
Interviews are pretty pointless. It's just a filter for the obviously incapable. It's sufficient to ask about what they did at previous jobs and personal projects, as well as what technologies they've worked with. You can feel who's bullshitting their way through, and who's genuinely enthusiastic about programming. Still, I'd certainly not base a hiring decision on an interview alone.

My preferred hiring method is a trial day where the candidate has to complete a small project related to the skills we expect them to have. The project is designed to challenge the candidate require more time than a single day, so they have to prioritize and work with a plan.

The trial day is finished by reviewing the code. Observing the reasoning for technical decisions, and how the candidate would proceed. I also like to point out things that could be improved, especially performance stuff, and ask how to improve it.

Of course, a trial day is expensive, so prior screening can't be avoided.

>>61996420
Work history
Education
Possibly GitHub repo
How much pay they're asking
How well they perform in the interview

>>61996944
> one day
Fuck that. What would you be testing, how well the know a languages libraries? That's fucking trivia.

>>61996420
Fizzbuzz, Interment bug hunting, optimization.

All the tests are performed on an MSX computer.

>>61996420
let them install gentoo

>>61996794
>>61996794
>>61996794
>>61996794

Well the obvious /g/ question is can you install Gentoo, but that still might let some posers by. So you're going to need them to compile there own kernal.

>>61996907
>Google
Dodged a bullet.

>>61996964
>What would you be testing, how well the know a languages libraries? That's fucking trivia.
How they work, how they think, how they overcome difficulties, how they test.

Actual tech-specific knowledge is a very low priority, because every developer will have to learn on the job to become experienced in the company's specific tech stack. From a web dev, I'd just expect basic understanding of how this stuff works. From a Java dev, I expect a solid grasp of the language and the ability to write clean error-tolerant. Those are things that can be determined in a day.

Of course, there's always the possibility to hire an intern for a permanent position who has shown to be competent over a few months.

>>61997090
Sure did

>>61996420
1)pass fizzbuzz instantly with no errors
2)pass another more complex test of choice (max 5min)
3)require more years of experience of those who didn't go to uni but allow
4)pick based on skill not minority status
5)should know log_2(years of experience)+2 languages

>>61996420
>Just for shits and giggles, what would /g/ use as criteria for selection?
If a train leaving Cleveland is traveling 63mph and Bob gave one of his apples to Mark and two to Jenny at approximately 8:45am on the seventeenth of May, what direction were they heading?

>>61996438
I wasn't around for the programming socks meme, can someone fill me in?

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>>61997555
There you go, but you only get it because you got trips.

>>61996420
Can they install Gentoo? Hired.
Have they ever successfully set up LFS? Hired.
Arch Linux? Not a chance of getting hired.
Uses proprietary software? Not a chance of getting hired.
Trap? Only hired if they're cute and amazing at sucking dick.

>would I want to work with this person daily?
>are they able to work with others?

Way easier to teach someone technical skills than how to interact with others

>>61997668
underrated

>>61997668
this so fucking hard

Must know IBM 360 Assembly.

>>61997453

I don't understand number 5, but I'll buy donuts on Mondays.

>>61996455
thanks :)

>>61998361
Basically the more experience you have the more languages I expect you to know. Minimum is 3 when experience is 0, 7 after 32 years of experience based on that formula. Rough estimate.

should be able to explain A*, BTee and any non-naive string search alg
should know at least basics of C, not to get lost in pointers
should know what RAII or similar ownership model is about
should know how to use crypto, at least on level of that Crypto 101 presentation
should be familiar with unix/linux environment, use ssh and git
let him write some git commit messages to see if he isn't idiot

>>61996420

>Do you like pussy
>Do you have a penis and identify as male
>Do you like playing pool

Everything else is irrelevant

>>61996420
fluent english
actual programming skills and knowledge
quick learner
curious to learn new things
able to make simple deductions (how something works by looking at how it's used)
familiar with both high and low levels (abstract programming and fucking around with bytes)

>>61996758
We don't live in a RPG kiddo. We can learn whatever I want.

>>61996729
>That fizzbuzz article

What a great read. Thanks friend.

>>61996420
I've done interviewing for my company. Criteria is usually
>is this person going to be annoying to work with / be around?
>are they autistic enough to focus on the work instead of sharing cat photos but normie enough to formulate sentences when asked
I give them some impossible problem and ask them to work through it with me by explaining their thought process. Don't care if they solve it just want to see if they have the drive to keep trying things, if their thought process is logical, if they are capable of verbalizing or documenting concepts coherently. The technical skills don't matter, anyone who has an acceptable IQ and actually wants to be there will rtfm and learn whatever needs to be learned, but they do get a bonus if they seem to have a solid understanding of the fundamentals.

>>61996420
- Male
- Over 25
- White
- Not overweight or underweight, physically fit
- Good teeth
- No tattoos or blemished on skin
- No acne or acne scars
- Short hair
- Good eyesight, no glasses
- Good credit history
- No history of substance abuse or problems with the law
- GPA over 3.5
- Master's degree

I think that's about it.

>>61999364
Are you over 50? What a absolutely terrible set of criteria.

>>61999440
A thousand times this. Our entire interview is crafted to test problem solving. Only time we test language skills is if they estimated 9-10 with the HR drones on EVERY language.

Here's what I've found are the best aspects to look for in hirees.
>Initiative: a programmer can't write good code and contribute to a team unless they have the drive to always find the write answer and implement it. They should have personal projects or should have shown initiative at work in the past. They should be excited to keep up to date with the latest technologies.
>Principles: even if a programmer wants to do things right, they can't apply their knowledge unless if they know first principles of software engineering. They should know how to always apply modularity, maintainability, and abstraction.
>Realism: a good programmer should know what it takes to deliver good code, not just write it. This skill comes with experience. A good programmer knows that they need to avoid scope creep. They know that they need to keep the user in mind and deliver a good product. A good programmer knows that they need to do more than write code to be part of a team.

>>61999446
Are you looking for model or a coder?

>>61999587
not him, but what?
Which of those are imply that he is looking for a model?
>- Not overweight or underweight, physically fit
If they can't take care of their body, how can they take care of the product
>- Good teeth
again
>- No tattoos or blemished on skin
tattoos are for degenerates
>- No acne or acne scars
again
>- Short hair
long hair are for woman or degenerates
>- Good eyesight, no glasses
this I can't explain, I have perfect sight, but I don't see the problem with those who don't

>>61999465
hmm...so know two JS frameworks, ruby and properly use emojis in commits?

>>61996609
Just out of curiosity, what type of animal you would be?

>>61999662
woman

>>61999440
Focusing solely on problem solving is not enough. Here are some things a good programmer needs to do after solving a problem.
>estimating how long it will take to finish the problem entirely
>analyzing how any changes made impact the rest of the code base
>analyzing if they've duplicated anything or if there is some established code that can help with what they've done
>writing documentation around the new code and submitting any new standards they've established
>knowing what kind of tests to write around the new code, and how to make good tests surrounding that
>working with other programmers on the problem if necessary, or even non-technical managers
>using their debugging tools to help solve the problem, or learning the tools if they don't know them
And probably more that I'm forgetting.
Even if they don't know all of this, they shouldn't show confusion or frustration when these things are mentioned.
If they show deeper understanding, great, that's a bonus.
I hate this meme where only puzzles are asked during interviews.
I've seen some really shit hires from that process.

>>61999587
Hit too close to home, sweetie? I'm sorry you look like a goblin. You mother just should've never let your daddy stick his penis inside her, if he didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversations right now and you wouldn't get your feelings hurt. So you might as well just kill yourself and try again in next life.

>>61996609
>HR bullshit
HR bisonshit

>>61999627
Bad eyesight means bad genetics, you wouldn't want garbage genes in your office, now would you?

>>61999698
Are you running a software shop or an Aryan baby factory, Mr Hitler?

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>>61996429
I prefer at least 20 myself

>>62000340
It's only natural to have pure genes around you, it has nothing to do with Hitler or aryans.

>>61996429
is more stripes better or worse?

>>61996420
As a serious answer, I'd try to analyze their ability to formulate solutions to problems, critically analyze their own solutions (know what's good or bad about it). Ideally, they should be not just willing but also proactive in discussing these things with you and the other interviewers.

>>61996944
>thinking I'm going to work for free
Fuck off.

>>61996420
Tell all the white men to fuck off.

>>61996420
Take half of appliactions and put it into trash bin.
You don't want unlucky people to work in your company, do you?

>>61999587
Ugly people have ugly minds anon.

>>61996490
"i browse 4chan/g/"

>>62001558
Tell Nazi Punks to Fuck Off

>>61996762
>jewish
Yehuda get out.

>>62000360
where are the cuties here?

>>61996787
Fuck that makes me feel incredibly uneasy. Blergh

>>61999698
>bad eyesight is bad genetics
explain to me why so many scientists wear glasses? don't tell me these have bad genetics too.

>>62001538
>>thinking I'm going to work for free
>Fuck off.
You can either spend five hours in interviews talking to people, or five hours writing code that will never benefit the company anyway because it's a toy project. The latter seems more appealing as an applicant.

>>62001792
5 hours talking to people proves that the company is actually serious and willing to invest their engineer's time in my prospective employment. A 5 hour coding assignment can be sent to 1000 applicants and have some idiot at HR pick one at random.

>>61999532
Man Poettering would never get hired at a good company.

>>61999532
>wanting people to learn skills necessary for their job in their own time
Nope. You can fuck off.

>>62001826
The coding assignment is not sent. It's done on site, on a desk, surrounded by people on the team. You talk, get to know everyone, and at the end of the day, besides knowing how the candidate works, you also got them to know as a person. You wouldn't want to hire someone you can't work with all day long.

>>61996420
"complete the following:"
>install ...

>>62001938
Literally no different. Why the fuck would I need talk to someone to implement a simple toy assignment? I give an entire day of my time and I MIGHT get an engineer to look over my work for 20 minutes at the end of the day.

>>62001988
You get two engineers for an hour reviewing your stuff with you, one of them with hiring privileges.

>>62001983
bonzi buddy!

>>62001932
I can see how you'd think that, but it's not what I mean.
>Initiative
People create spare projects for money in their spare time constantly.
Contributing to open source software is often done on the job for things that are needed in their job but restricted by licenses.
Sometimes people don't have the money or time for school and their projects come from the desire for self-learning, which is a huge plus.
If they just like contributing to open source software, that's a bonus, but not a necessity.
If they've never gotten a chance to make personal projects but have shown initiative on the job or at school, that's just as exciting, but not as easy to see.
When it comes to keeping up to date with the latest technologies, we give our employees time to do that. If they haven't done it at past jobs, that's fine, but they shouldn't be adverse to it.
>Principles
All of these things should be picked up normally. These are basics. If you can't apply them or don't follow them, that has nothing to do with not doing things outside of work.
>Realism
Learned on the job, so it doesn't apply. I expect my programmers to be realistic enough to estimate things so they don't need to pull any overtime.

Hope that clears things up.

it's really easy to hire good programmers. just ask them to write some of their favourite bits of code and explain it.

work ethic, general attitude and personality are far more important than experience. i forget and relearn everything on a 6 month rotating basis.

99% of the time the ace programmer is a pain in the ass to deal with, stuff like fizzbuzz exists not to test for modulo and basic room temperature iq, but to filter based on job requirements:

do you need analysts? then their code should have mathematical rigour

do you need designers? optimised for scale and speed

do you need fast coders? short simple easy to read

do you need 99 problems? their code is going to be overcomplicated, obfuscated and show off an obscure shortcut in their pet language


make sure to explain to the interviewee that you don't care if they solve fizzbuzz you care HOW they solve it. just re-read my second sentence.

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>>62001598

>>61996787
I bet it's easy for him to floss.

I also bet he doesn't floss.

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>>62003805
he has to wear plugs to eat soup

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>>61996420
Really depends what they're going to be coding and what language and the underlying business needs for the code.

That said, for most roles I'd ideally like to see the following:

Good communication skills, especially written communication.
Experience with source control.
Verifiable experience working on other people's code.
Experience coding on large projects.
An understanding of project management concepts (doesn't need to be a project manager, but should know what's up).
Open to pair programming.
Understanding of the algorithmic concepts relevant to the types of projects he'll be assigned.

>>61996453
Basic all-purpose symbolic instruction code. Hiree now, senpai

>>61996919
how do you even get black eyeballs?

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>>61999683

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>>62004320
you tattoo them

>>61996420
figure out a way to hire /g/ people

>>61996420
figure out a way to filter out /g/ people

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figure out a way to hire some /g/ people and filter out others

>>61996420
>are you familiar with Holy C?

>>62005382
lol @ the moderate.

There's actually a lot of benefits of a moderate stance. Has nothing to do with the argument in the image, but things like pilot projects and phased implementation are sorely needed in the political world. Moderates can be a source of support for such plans.

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pic related is the most important criteria

but seriously fizzbuzz. filters out lying pajeets and know-nothing "compsci" graduates.

also filters out the worst one of them all, the autist dweeb. if they snort, roll their eyes, or do anything that insinuates that this isn't worth their time, they are guaranteed to be a socially clueless turd that will be nothing but a pain in the ass, criticizing everyone's work until you have to fire them because they broke down crying after they accidentally deleted prod

FizzBuzz

>>62005819
This sounds oddly specific.
Do you have any stories?

>>62006742
It's projection.

>>62005819
desu If a newb can accidentally delete prod there's seriously something wrong with your company

>>62001419
The more the better

>>61996758
I would say that people who can program well and don't know a thing about hardware or other tecchy stuff, are weird.

Find the applicant that has the skills necessary to fit the needs of your organization. It wouldn't hurt if they showed some potential for growth. Don't use race or gender though. Just break them down to 1s and 0s.

>>62001785
it makes them look smarter you dummy

>>61999627
>not being /fit/, no glasses alpha male coder
I bet you didn't even slap HR's ass when leaving

>>61996420
must be larger than a C cup and willing to submit to any and all requests

everything else is irrelevant

>>61999638
Yes, over 50

>>61999683
You have a weird complex going on dude. Enjoy cranking out trivial apps with your blonde boyfriends. The literal office circle jerks must be great for letting off steam at the end of the day

>>61996420
are you female? are you white? are you minority? is english your first language? Do you use special pronouns? Do I look good on this dress?

>>61996758
mostly this, even Linux Torvalds have problems setting up the computers on his home and most people on /g/ aren't smarter than Linus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHGTs1NSB1s

>>61996420
Just grab randomn questions from this board's OP descriptions, if the candidate knows you are fucking around and mentions /g/ he is hired.

>2000 - 2006, how was it?
>samsung clueless, apple suicide watch, google
life support, how do they do it?
>What are you working on?
>How many devices running linux do you have in your house?
>What do you do with all your old 500GB / 1TB hard drives when you upgrade to a 10TB hard drive? Do you just throw them out?
>What DNS addresses should I use?
>You have less than 10 seconds to explain why you don't seed, idiot.
>there are people in this world right who aren't touch typists. How does it feel to hunt and peck like small children?
>If you pay ransomware the ransom, do they actually ever send you a key?
>Why does the iPhone 7 plus take so fucking long to charge?
>Why aren't you using Brave?
>Why do code monkeys pretend that entering a work contract with a corporations means the same thing as entering a gulag? Why are corporations perceived as having the right to stifle free speech as they see fit?
>Program in F#.
>Is there anyway to use Snapchat without Gapps?
>Name a relevant project you completed using Haskell, Pro tip: you can't.
>Is it possible for me to install spyware on another computer to take files from that computer?
>Just because you can hire someone who can develop for you doesn't mean that you're smart, goy. y even live?
>Can technology be racist?

>>62007773
I am fit, perfect eyes, but king of the betas.
Also I prefer small business where programmers do the interviews so no retarded HR questions, and I don't slap mans ass

I would ask them to take a typing test rather than a coding exercise.

At some point in the interview I would yrll "catch" and throw a baseball at them tk test their reflexes and alertness

>>61996897
Not me, but if the screencaps posted here and rumors are true, working on any microsoft product is way worse than sucking dick

Write a 4bit binary number and ask them for it in hex or base 10

If they fail this it's not the end of the world, but it's a red flag that they've done nothing serious

>>62011741
>your question

'Kay, 000. Conversion is trivial

>>62011812

I said four, not three

>>62011850

My bad:

0x000

>>62011870

Too many!!!!!!

D:<