this is fucking retarded I'm looking for an internship and

>>61974463
just say that you are a tranny super nintendo gender black muslim freedom whatever and you can get in

>>61974463
At least you're getting a degree

>>61974463
>relevant to us
Quantity > quality when applying

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>>61974463
It's all BS. The big three are what's important, pic related.

>>61974463
Tell them you kode with klossy.

>>61974510
What's combined?

>>61974523
Knowing all three

Seriously guys I'm getting depressed
I'm too soft .

>>61974463
That's just a wish list

Every company wants the perfect programmer, so they list down everything they could possibly want.
They don't really expect someone that is competent in literally everything listed there to apply for them as an intern.

Ridiculous requirements also makes it easier for them to turn-down applicants, so why not.

>>61974549
tl;dr
Just send an application
The worst thing that could possibly happen is they don't take you in.

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"relevant" isn't the same as "required"
just fucking apply, the balls in their court now

>>61974653
LinkedIn is full of marginal HR cunts too lazy to change the experience level on their job postings.

Dude I didn't even major in CS and I'm good with Java, SQL and HTML/CSS/JS. I know that doesn't cover every "and" on there but good fucking enough mate.

>>61974523
>Uhh we'll call, goodbye.

>>61974653
sometimes you can tell more by the salary than what shanequa put in the requirements

Getting an entry level development job is next to impossible where I am, took me over 6 months after graduating with a near perfect GPA to get a lousy 64kCAD job.

>>61974510
>Can do all 3
>Have a job
>Still fail interviews

Learn enterprise development memes like Spring and Angular.

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>>61974843
>enterprise
>angular

>>61974891
>angular
>not enterprise meme

Did you bump the thread just to drop some shitty reaction image?

>>61974479
>be a metal head who can't grow a beard
>interview for a job
>get it
>they think I am a tranny and only gave me the job because of that
>I tell them to call me he and shit because I like having a masculine side at work
>it totally works
>i get to use the womens bathroom too and I get to jack off to women peeing

>>61974463
kill yourself

who the fuck told you /g/ is the job board?

>>61974463
After working at my current internship, I get the feeling that a lot off places are using interns as cheap replacements for actual employees because they are so understaffed.

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>>61975101
>IT intern at medium sized company, basically doing helpdesk and system administration
>just me an my boss
>boss gets promoted to work in another state
>I'm the only fucking technical person at the location
>they wont fucking hire me, still just an intern
>every week they call me and practically beg me not to quit because their shit would be royally fucked if I did
Fuck these companies, seriously

>>61975736
you should've asked for a raise or something

>>61974463
What did you spend the last 3+ years doing if it wasn't learning most of these? Apparently not learning how to interpret job ads either, huh.

>>61976140
yes I come from a poor village of albania
my school only had 3 computers and only one could use an internet connection at a time
I started learning Java from an old book my grandpa gave me but I couldn't download an IDE so most of my work is done on paper and I had to scan every page of handwritten code afterwards so I can mail to to companies that wanted to see my work so far.
To scan them I had to move to a neighboring country (Greece or Macedonia and 1 time Italy).
Last year a Company from Macedonia accepted me so my dad was really happy that I was a scientist so he gave me his donkey to travel all the way.
I told to my self that I finally made it.
I'm in the big league now.
But boy was I wrong.

I've been with this "company" (Actually I'm a State Gov employee) for like 12 yrs now. Current job I've done for all those 12 yrs has nothing to do with IT. For past two yrs I've been trying like hell to get a transfer into IT within the state system (Getting to the point of interview stage is itself a cluster fuck). I've got Certs/Exp and I'm qualified for IT listings from a Grade 10 (knocking @ 30K, over 30k if you do 40 Hrs) up to a Grade 17 (40ish -50k). Personal dept says "your qualified" but like a lot of things now, our IT has been outsourced to outside contractors and what's left is pretty much "marked" as filled as soon as a job pops up on the list (even though they still gotta go through the whole process in order to stay legal). So it goes like this: Job pops up on employment site, I apply, personal looks at my application (which can take up to a week or more), says "your qualified" and passes on to whoever/whatever agency has the job opening, then it can take a month or more till that agency rep calls to setup an interview (some don't even bother cause the job has been "marked" already). Meanwhile I go to my current job, doing the same shit waiting and checking the employment site for status of applied jobs and looking for new ones. If status says "position no longer available" your fucked (which can take least a month before it changes). E-mailing the job contact person doesn't do jack, I've tried that, sent a nice e-mail along with pdf attachment of my qualifications, saying basically "hey I'm interested" in said job, some reply back, most don't.

>>61976223
I've tried branching out, staying within my current job class but applying for higher pay grade positions cause exp (12 yrs) in current class, no mater the duties, counts in personal's eyes. No luck. I've applied for 40+ jobs, only got called for interview twice.

>>61976329
>>61976223
I'd fucking take help desk (Sys tech/Network Tech I @ grade ten) in a heart beat if I got the offer. I'd be making more $$ and it would sure beat the hellhole I'm in right now.

You don't an internship
Just make your own company and sell it for $$$$$$$

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>get excited because I meet all the criteria
>realize they forgot to mention "leaving the house is necessary"

>>61975736
>>every week they call me and practically beg me not to quit because their shit would be royally fucked if I did
Make good on your intent to quit without a raise/full time position with benefits, then.
The power is in your fucking hands.

>>61975101
>>61975736
>I get paid $12 an hour for remote support while the client pays my company $500 an hour for that support that I gave
I'm being fucked aren't I?

>>61977406
What do you do, just basic teamviewer shit?

Tell your client you'll help them directly for $100 an hour

You get paid better, they pay way less, everyone is happy

>>61974463
>project dependent
not necessary
>html/css
easy
>ruby
hipster
>literally just be in college
ok makes sense for an internship

i've seen plenty actual part times jobs looking for students knowing they will be minimally competent and able to be massively underpaid

penis

>>61974463
git gud

Apart from the CS degree you could learn all that in a week

Just do something unusual that you can put in your CV. In 2015 I made a clone of Flappy Bird for the Sega Master System for the hell of it, and 3 weeks ago I started an embedded systems job, and I've been told by my boss that specifically the reason I got an interview was because the "experience programming in Z80 assembly" on my CV caught his eye and stood out from all of the other applicants.

>>61978903
I forgot to mention that said "embedded systems job" is a paid internship which was supposed to require experience in C, which I did not have.