>scrum standup

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>>61866967
>agile development expert

>velocity and burndown

>Guy starts working on random thing in backlog without asking the group
>Someone else does it and asks the group beforehand if he should
>He does it better
Why are there autists and why are they almost always the worst in terms of smell AND capability?

>>61866967
>"yesterday I done <stuff I already know since he said he'd do it yesterday>"
>"today I will <Stuff I don't care about 80% of the time>

I get the idea of standups, but so much of the time they're useless.

>>61866967
>>61867051
>>61867229

t. NEET

>>61867998
It was you, wasn't it.

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>>61866967
>Velocity, veracity, volume, and variety in Big Data ™

i have no fucking idea what this thread is about

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>>61869323
Before you start your work day, everyone stands up and stands in a circle. They say what they did yesterday, they mention any problems they had, and they say what they're going to do today. You have to use specific terminology as well, or what you did doesn't count. It's absolute bullshit, but at least it only takes about five minutes to do.

>tfw I worked in a place that went through lots of major changes, one of which was all this shit, and another of which was firing me a month later
Top relief bbz

>>61869323
That's what happens when you don't listen during standup meetings

agile is a meme

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>>61866967
>plan out everything this sprint make sure everything that has to be done is on the sprint log this time
>people still find things to do that aren't on the sprint log or important
>rewrite log to make it look like everything was planned at the end of sprint

>that one fucking guy that talks about his shit for 10 minutes
>he always tries to get involved in everyone's tasks despite not being a developer
>he goes on vacation
>length of the scrum goes from 15-20 mins to 5-10 mins
Fuck that guy.

>>61866967
sounds like a bureaucratic waste of time 2bh

>>61867051
>CV has one skill on it
>Scrum master

>>61868218
I find the only good thing that comes out of it is having everyone in one place for a short time so you can let people know you need to talk to them or ask for help

otherwise though most meetings are a big fucking waste of time

>>61869578
>Scrum Spec Op

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>story points

>>61869323
Gay normie stuff used in software development companies.

>>61866967
>Enter standup
>Sit down
>All the autistic devs get triggered
this shit is like being in preschool

>try to be concise and omit stuff that isn't important
>everyone thinks you're slacking off