>The devices, designed for children aged up to 11 who are

What's the /g/ approved way to eavesdrop and track the movements of your kids?

I want sub millimetre accuracy here folks.

Also a complete record of everything conversation the child has, preferably transcribed automatically and sorted by topic.

Well it could be pretty good with just a GPS tracker, preferably one with some SOS button. Wouldn't want my kids kidnapped by some pizza place.

>>61749081
Why would a kid of the age below 11 even need this thing?

>>61749191

>Ooh look a kid to lure into my van

>Oh no, they're wearing a brightly coloured tracker watch thing. Whatever will I do?

>Guess we gotta call off the whole thing lads

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What about tracking everything? From the very beginning of your life? Every sentence and word you have said recorded on some microchip? A psychologists could sample different periods of your activity, lets say based on your pulse of hormones or whatever. Starting from childhood we could make an almost complete psychological profile with separate stages one going into another?

>>61749355
I mean they kinda would if they knew it was a GPS and just try to find a kid without one

>>61749355
>reddit spacing
>green texting nonquotes
how would they even tell it is a gps? A lot of kids like watches.
Fuck you could just put a chip in their shoe instead.

GPS tracking your kid seems kinda useful, desu. The microphone is a bit overkill, though.

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>>61749081

>hack this
>summon a loli in defense mode
>dismiss her because she 3d
wtf I love 1984

This just makes it easier, find a little girl with one of those watches, 100% chance her parents aren't looking because the watch is taking care of that, now you just hit her from behind, remove the watch and leave it somewhere nearby, enjoy your loli.

>>61749525

Or they'd take it off and throw it in a hedge?

>Born too early to explore space
>Born too late to marry young and own my own home

>Born just in time to avoid having my entire childhood plastered over facebook and some dumbfuck parents eavesdropping on my every conversation and tracking my movements

Sucks to be a kid today

>>61749081
install gentoo

>>61749124
get one of those vests with a pi running gentoo and a ton of batteries.
Maybe even a pushbutton they can hold down so the parents can know the kids are safe.
The vest might be awkward to show around other kids, so it can be covered with clothing.
Since most kids clothing won't fit, make new clothing out of a sheet or a bag.
Since kids are messy by nature, make sure to get one in black.

If you think this sounds like it could be misinterpreted, make sure to teach them a safeword they can shout in case someone freaks out.
Just make sure they repeatedly shout some nonsense over and over again.

>>61749191
Well now the pizza place is gonna hack the watch to follow your kid and get him while he is alone.

>>61749584
that's a cute anime girl. can't find any meaningful source on reverse image source. it looks like she's giving a peace sign although that might just be her some folds in her shirt

>>61749924

Lmao you joke but you know what the next big scare amongst middle class mummies on facebook is going to be

>Russian hackers can hack into YOUR child's GPS watch and track their every move
>Child safety experts say that this is the biggest threat to children in 100 years
>"It's very likely that we will see child kidnapping gangs tracking these devices and waiting until your child is alone before they snatch them"

Please like and share to all your friends who are parents!

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>>61749886
Well played, anon!

>>61749549
>how would they even tell it is a gps?
>you could just put a chip in their shoe instead
It's painfully obvious that you have never kidnapped anyone. Just stop talking about shit you don't understand.

>>61750526
The back of the van is a Faraday cage, right?

>>61749502
An episode of Black Mirror dealt with that.

>>61749081
I would get a watch for my kid that had an emergency button, so if something was wrong he could push it and alert Mr of his location.
But I think I'd rather get him a dumb phone.

>>61751550
Was that the one where he caught his wife cheating? Fucking loved that episode, stupid whore got what was coming to her.

>>61749124
a realtime kinematic gps/glonass device backhauled over lorawan - a mesh network formed from other *-tracking devices.

https://emlid.com/reach/

The state of GPS trackers is really shit. I imagine this would just stress parents out as the device bounces between GPS and A-GPS signals/quality.
t.built gps/gsm/mesh network tracking devices a for BigCorp$

>>61749081
Talk about hovering parents.

>>61754127
Wouldn't a device like this allow parents *not* to hover, and let their kids have some distance?

>>61754262
>have some distance?
Physically yes but otherwise no. If you need to know their position and have to plant a microphone on them then its still hovering. Might as well call it e-hovering.

>>61749355
Someone post the anti-rape wristband thing from Sweden

>>61749124
Responsible parenting. No workarounds.
If it exists it can be hacked. Including these watches, that can be potentially used by pedophiles to stalk my children.

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Japan already came up with a better solution for this.

>>61750089
I'm fairly sure she gets raped, she gives off a distinct rustle vibe, you don't want to read this sick shit.

>>61754524
I hate that fucking pic but never bothered to check if she gets her comeuppance.

>>61749081
tbqh children don't have rights so who cares

>>61754684
>thinking you have rights as an adult

>>61754695
really makes me think dude

Because helicoter parenting is totally cool and doesn't cause social and psychological harm, amirite?

It doesn't matter if your kid grows up to be a paranoid aspie so long as YOU KNOW they're safe.

>>61749081
If I had a kid I would 100% throw a GPS in his backpack in case he went missing. I would not give a shit about anything else he did though.

>>61750823
Just throw together a fake bomb vest that beeps just like the ones in the movies. If the kid's in trouble, he can just activate the fake countdown, and the kidnappers will just book it. Bonus points if it has a built-in smoke bomb that activates after the beeping stops, for an easy getaway.

>>61749081
inb4 not buying one of these for your kid is child abuse

>>61749081
This existed in 2009

>>61754740
Why would you need to helicopter if you could just check your phone and see they are okay?

>>61754528
aww you've already told me too much and ruined her :/ I wish her well on her recovery

>>61749081
>the balloon boy incodent could have been averted this whole time

>>61749525
they are trafficking kids bro, they can just chop off the arm or leg with the gps and since it is made with cheap plastic, they could just cut it off

panic button means nothing when you are being dragged and tied up, when was the last time you kidnap someone and let their hands and shit go free to press a panic button?

>>61749124
>sub milimetre accuracy

just follow your kid with a micrometer
not even gps are that accurate

>>61754524
>I'm calling your bluff little loli
>Unzips dick

>>61754450
Pedophiles don't stalk children.

t. Pedophile.

i can see it being useful, but only because society is turning to shit.

>>61749124
>install a Squid server as gateway on your home network
>configure it as proxy on your kid's phones
>use it to monitor and control absolutely everything that your kids are doing
>feel like a god

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>>summon them home for tea
>home for tea
>not dinner

>be kid
>don't want parents spying on you all day
>take watch off
>parents can't do shit about it because spanking is child abuse in 2017

>>61749124
Even getting network-assisted GPS to be accurate to < 10m is a feat using standard GPS modules (like ones you'd find in smartphones), so good luck getting anything better for the form factor you're looking for.

You also sound like a control freak and your kid will grow up either as a rebellious retard or a stuck-up pansy as a result.

>>61756913
Eh, <3m is pretty common in smartphones now days, assuming you aren't in a city full of high rise buildings.

>>61756221
Not all mudslimes are terrorists.

t. mudslime

>>61749752
This.

>>61749081
So what, my DJI is geofenced too. I don't see a problem with that.

>>61749081
I was talking to a coworker about this.

I'm 30 and when I was a kid, me and my friends would walk to school alone starting at the end of 1st grade or so. This was only about a mile walk but we'd walk alone, without our parents.

Apparently, this is insane by today's standards. Parents monitor every fucking move kids make, and walking a mile unsupervised is fucking bonkers.

Society really seems like it is regressing.

>>61756781
Why would you need to configure anything on your kids phone? Couldn't you just route the traffic from his phone to go to squid from the router?

>>61757418
Consider how fucking insecure the world has become with nigs breaking in white neighborhoods and bad hombres working in every house.

Children are practically private property until they turn 18, therefore I don't see anything wrong with this.

>>61749081
What's to stop a kid from taking it off? Or does it work the same way a handcuff does?

>>61757418
You can blame minorities and jews on making the planet a more dangerous place for kids.

>>61754528
>>61755322
shit taste

>>61757533
>tell kid it's a smart watch
>kid tells people at school their parents bought them a smartwatch
>commence circlejerking
>implying they will take it off

>>61755345
?

>>61755358
Would you buy a kid with a missing arm? But yeah, I guess they'd just remove/destroy the bracelet.

>>61757574
There are amputee fetishists you know. Considering how much loli amputee porn is on sadpanda I would say it's easy enough to find pedos who would buy amputee kids.

>>61755358
You're totally right. We need to implant children with chips.

>>61749081
I was so dumb as a kid I would probably have tied the thing to a dog just to fuck with my parents desu

>>61756816
it is the UK they are used to surveillance already
and now children are being baited into feeling fine with it when they grow up too

>>61757589
Yeah, but isn't it better to get a whole kid so you can have the stumps the length you want? I know I'm not paying full price without getting the full product.

>>61757548
>>>/pol/

>>61757177
>>>/pol/

>>61757418
Hell, many of our parents did over 5 miles when they were kids. We most certainly are regressing

>>61757704
People come to /g/ to be edgy?

>>61749249
Normal kids play outdoors.

>>61749081
Why do you care, OP? Are you 11 years old?

This is why I never leave the house. Why I don't go out and take risks or talk to friends without getting anxious. Because my parents worried this hard, and now I get their worry as a result. By teaching a child that no one is trustworthy, they learn not to trust anyone. It's that simple.

>>61758587
Calling people niggers and faggots as part of 4chan culture apparently attracted people who thought we did it sincerely.

>>61757177
not all kikes approve of Israel

t. kike

>>61758621
What's hilarious is that those people are so stupid they still don't realize they're being made fun of.

>>61758669
Well, it doesn't help that we made them an entire board so they could feel special. I mean, it was intended as containment, but they don't understand that.

>>61756265
>muh society is turning to shit
no, people were always shit, it is just that their shit is much more apparent thanks to the (((social media)))

>>61758685
People who say society is shit are ridiculous IMO. Dying of dysentery is shit. Being forced to work 18 hours for your vassal is shit. Modern society is the best.

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>>61758621
You certainly put a lot of words into my mouth, didn't you?

>>61758713
This desu. I am glad that I was born in time where I will not die of some random incurable disease or get my shit confiscated by the King because he said so. There is still few shitty places on earth right now indeed but I am sure that the life in the shittiest part of earth now is equivalent to middle class 1000 year ago or so.

>>61758680
It makes it even better because after posting in an echochamber they go to a different board and spout some bigoted nonsense, only to find there's no one there to support their idiotic views.

>>61758620
My parents were also super paranoid and never allowed me to play outside, when I am like five minutes late paranoia reaches the max. But it was your fault for not rebelling against the extreme behavior of your parents. Trust me that they learn with time that you are actually capable of handling yourself. Right now I am studying abroad and living alone in a country where I have no relatives, they don't worry about me as much anymore as long as I send a hi message every week or so.
Bottomline is, it is never too late to improve.

>>61758741
True

>>61758727
I wasn't replying specific to you, but stating more of a generic observation. Obviously being into amputee porn doesn't make you a racist /pol/lack who is waiting for Hitler's second coming, amputee porn is just weird.

> /g/
> children

>>61758798
OP is 11 years old and is having an autistic fit because his mother demands that he wear a GPS watch.

Why do you think /g/ hates phone posters? And love video games? It's because most of /g/ aren't old enough to even own a smart phone.

>>61758729
>get my shit confiscated by the King because he said so
>he doesn't know about civil forfeiture
3/10 made me reply

>>61758569
The King's future slaves must be protected.

>>61758817
>civil forfeiture
Not legal in my country. Must be some archaic fascist concept that Americans still cling on to, like alimony.

>>61758855
Fair enough, but what did you expect from an Israeli vassal state?

I bet they will try to make these watches "ironically" fashionable. Like mustache tattoos.

>>61759594
They could be honest and wear them round their ankles.

>>61758587
People come to /g/ to take jokes as serious conversation?

>>61749081

They are just preparing the kids for the future. When they grow up they will take take employer mandated surveillance implant without any questions.

>>61757819
Shut the fuck up, retard. I'm tired of you being dense with your fucking /pol/ meme

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>>61754403
Good enough?

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>>61754695
>rights

>>61756816
>dinner
>not tendies
>>>/out/ newfag

>>61749081
Imagine being in 8th grade, in class, and your mom asks what you want for din dins in the middle of the teacher talking through your NSA watch
At that point you might as well not even kick the bucket, you need to fucking punt it

>>61758809
>somebody makes a faggot gayming thread
>everybody calls him a gayman and sends him back to normieit or >>>/v/
Yeah, we love videya so much, it's almost like we love Windows and hate Linux, especially Gentoo.

>>61757518
Pretty much this. There will always be shitty parents and they will do whatever shitty thing they feel like with their kids.

This trend will spawn either pussified or rebellious children. Because nooo, I inform other people where I am, what I am eating and thinking 24/7, my kid should do that too.

>>61749081
>>61749124
Jesus Christ dude. Parents need to just let their kids be kids and stop worrying about the minuscule chance that they are going to get abducted or something. If you never let your kids be independent they aren't going to be able to function as adults.

>tfw mother got one of these for younger brother she had when I was 15
>she sees nothing wrong with it
>no one I know sees anything wrong with it

what the fuck is wrong with people

>>61749081
>>61763395
I really dont see anything wrong with it.
If I had a kid and they came up missing Id kill myself for having not strapped one of these things to them.

>>61765291
You're just going to end up killing yourself when your kid is still living with you at 40 and needs intensive therapy.

>>61765513
Hmm. It seems no matter what I do in life it always ends with me killing myself.

>>61749124
Stop being an overbearing woman of a father.

>>61757704

this is coming from a 3rd world perspective. you either want those kids to harvest their organs or use them as slaves

ever see slumdog millionaire? they would turn you into a disabled person and use you to panhandle at the street

>>61763395
Kids are not people anon. They cannot do anything by themselves.

At least that seems to be the perspective of the failing parenthood of boomers and millennials.

>>61766946
Would you pay full price for a disabled slave? Cutting off a limb basically requires you to harvest organs instead, which is less money and more effort than selling a live slave.

There's nothing dystopian about keeping track of vulnerable people for whom we're responsible but over whom we don't have absolute control. If crazies want to abuse their adolescent children into wearing these things all day then that's a separate issue for a board about mental illness.

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>>61755322
>i wish a imaginary 2d drawn girl well on her recovery from rape
>but no lolicon isn't real its just drawn

>>61768368
What did he mean by this

>>61749124
>What's the /g/ approved way to eavesdrop and track the movements of your kids?
Trusting them not to get themselves killed

>>61749081
There is nothing wrong with protecting your kid

ISIS is using child suicide bombers, this is the best way to prevent that.
If kids have nothing to hide they have nothing to fear.

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>>61749124
DsS choker

>>61756913
Anon he's joking

The GPS tracker isn't what bothers me, it's the snooping-in on conversations that bothers me. These kids will grow up thinking everything they say is judged by their parents. Imagine the effect that'll have on their psyche.

>>61761206
I'm not.
>>>/pol/

>>61763320
>If you never let your kids be independent they aren't going to be able to function as adults.
thatsthepoint.jpg

>>61768837
There is when you unleash a fucking 18-year-old toddler on the world after kicking them out of your house. May they put you in a rape-based nursing home.

>>61769775

how else are they going to be able to school their kids to be a better person then?

all the kids these days are rude ass motherfuckers that have no filters at all

cursing and shit and loitering at the skatepark like a hobo, if a parent who genuienly cares about their kids will want to see that and take action before it is too late

kids who talk shit and yell at strangers will get their ass wallop too

this is a great invention. only a moron would think otherwise, they are kids, they have no rights

>>61769866
Anon you have to be more subtle if you want to bait people. Here's a (You) for your efforts.

>>61749081
I feel so sorry for kids growing up today. What a fucking nightmare

>>61757427
Yeah, then how you are going to track them outside your home network?

>>61758741
Found the redditor.

>>61749124
pedo detected

>>61754524
What kind of parent let's their daughter wear slut underwear like that?

>>61758609
This might come as a shock to you, but it's possible for a kid to play outdoors without them being constantly monitored through an electronic gadget.

see: literally anyone born at any point in human history before the mid 2000s

>>61770215
I didn't think you'd make his mobile data connect through your squid set up

>>61758713
Liege not vassal you dumb fuck. If someone is your vassal, that implies you're both landed and titled and he's your bitch.