ITT: tech illiterate horror stories

>>61438074
>someone calls me over because there computer doesn't work
>pull the side off
>pull CPU fan off
>no CPU

What does the xp in windows stand for?

>>61438198
>there
Illiterate

>>61438198
i just had similar situation

>pc doesn't work, pls come
>open case
>no hdd

>>61438074
1
2
3 4

>>61438248
What does this mean?

>>61438261
get out

>>61438074
>i and computer after friend fixed
>he somehow a virus
>i told him to stop it
>he stopped the virus
>the virus scanned by windows defender after i did a full scan
>its a minecraft

>>61438270
TELL MEEEEE

>>61438290
less

>>61438276
this sounds both retarded and indian at the same time

>>61438328
I don't get it.

>>61438248
normies ree

>>61438248
REEEEEEEEEEE

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>HR department call me to setup their email acc
>finish in 1 min
>open cmd, type cd, dir, etc
>you are really good at this Anon
>continue to do nothing and stare at her legs

>>61438248

it was his fault for being a cuck

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>>61438270
Its a meme thats lost its edge, just like you sperglord.

>>61438276
>i told him to stop it
>he stopped the virus

The absolute madman

>>61438419
Kek. The simple joys of helpdesk.

>>61438248
DELET

>>61438276
did I click on s4s

>>61438455
>>61438367
>>61438348
Wait is this that meme with the "I'm beyond mad" mega man meme and a his mother taking away his computer?

>>61438213
Xtreme Power

>>61438476
yeah

>>61438510
I'm dissapointed. I thought It was going to be funny.

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>>61438248
Fascinating you bring that up

>>61438248

reeeeeeee

>>61438525
fuck you

>>61438570
Would you like the full sized one?

>>61438578
I don't know
do I?
Mostly I just want to fucking die

>>61438074
> Be me
> Browsing /g/
> Spot faggot who can't into catalog

>>61435596

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>>61438591
enjoy

> 2002
> a friend builds a PC
> no cooler or even heat sink on cpu
> he tells that it's too noisy and he doesn't need one
> computer works like a charm for 3 years
> 2006
> he builds a new PC with athlon
> no heat sink again
> "reee you fucking illiterate, cpu doesn't need cooling you retard"
> computer dies in a minute
> first cpu was cyrix 3

>>61438248
Fuck you, I'm mad now.

>>61438628
Dat real?

>>61438628

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH :DDDDDDDD

>>61438628
Kek

>>61438628
i want to know what happend to anon now

>>61438628

This is what happens when you don't stand up for yourself.

>>61438628
I thought I'd be used to this by now, but I'm still angry

>>61438337
oxymoron

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>start my first job out of uni
>GIS analyst
>main enterprise DB admin is some ethiopian who sucks at english
>flips out at least once a day
>never performs any maintenance or backups because in his mind that is "editing the database" and that's not allowed because we have to make sure we have a complete record of all changes
>database runs absolutely horridly, takes 2 minutes to open some files sourcing the data in the two thousand and seventeeth year of our lord
>can't get fired because racism
>also his wife died from cancer so DEFINITELY can't get fired now
>can't train anyone else because too expensive (apparently, lol upper management)
>we just have to deal with it
>database continues to bloat out of control indefinitely

he did finally eventually get let go during the oil recession when he was charging entire days as unbillable time because he had literally nothing to do. he just sat there watching movies on his ipad doing that high-pitched whooping african laugh and yelling over the phone with his ethiopian friends in whatever horrible language

sure am glad i got out of that dumpster of an office

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>>61438276
>>continuing
>he says the same thing about last post
> breaks his minecraft.jar (java ) install with a virus
>i fix it cause im good with computers
>he breaks it once again
only a person like he can breaka computer

>>61438074
>get first computer through school tutoring program thing when I was in 6th grade where they give you a computer you get to keep if you complete it
>fucking 1.8Ghz celeron(I think) dell with 50 pound NEC scantron CRT 800x600 monitor
>my autistic and oblivious self fills it with viruses playing flash games and going to boobies.net or whatever
>one day XP won't boot
>I figure I'm going to open up the PC myself and fix it(I had for less than two months)
>aha I've pinpointed the virus
>partially unscrew CPU cooler but give up because it won't come off because I could only see three screws or something
>try to boot it up again
>HEAT ERROR BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
>get agitated and throw the computer out my door onto the sidewalk

I've got another one

>one of my Dad's friends is
retarded hairbrained coke addict
>convinced he's a genius channeling native american souls, won the lottery once, thinks he's going to get famous off collecting indian arrowheads and archeology at one point
>comes up with some autistic idea for a computer program like a "liquidity solution" that interprets urban demographics to narrow out people likely to sell their homes or something(somefuckinghow got into real estate too)
>he spends $1200 on a laptop with an i7 off craigslist he think is going to be relevant to making his genius zuccfuck program
>within a week of having it the fans burn out and it gets a heat error whenever he boots it up
>last I heard of him he was homeless, jewed my dad out of some money, and was addicted to meth

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>>61439356

>1200$ for an i7 on craigslist

i bought my i7 laptop new and i didnt even pay that much

>>61439406
The retard got like $10000 a month from the lottery for twenty years and blew it on the most inane shit. Trying to flip houses that cave in on him in the process that he later sells as empty lots, buying shards of chink clay he thinks is from the 14th century on ebay, spending ten grand restoring a mustang only to sell it to pay off a ridiculous debt he has to someone later that month. He had a neckbeard autist son too who was a hardcore PC gamer that didn't know games outside of flash games existed. He spent like 18 hours a day playing shit like Thing Thing on his shitty HP desktop.

>has a ThinkPad with Arch + i3
>uses keyboard & mouse constantly

>>61439311
As an Indian, this makes me cringe.

Most Indians are even more cringey than white people realise.

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>>61438694

>a heatsink is too noisy

Your friend is a retard and he deserved to have his new CPU fried, kek.

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>start working as an android dev
>before starting, think i'm a below average programmer
>ask qa about testing strategies "anon, nothing is automated, everything is manually tested"
>pic related
>look at codebase
>600+ line long activities
>activities we use extend twice from Activity, not AppCompat
>activities have network calls/callbacks in them
>network services are called directly from ui; said services are singletons
>no dependency injection
>no unit testing
>complex views written completely in java
>views also have service calls in them
>need to rebuild whole project when we want to see ui changes
>instant run doesn't work
>app completely breaks when implementing new features, severity depends on the complexity of said feature
>discover bug where results from our webservice were being saved to the db, even if the item already existed
>lead to having the app take up to 30gb of users' storage in some cases
>was like this for almost a year until i discovered it
>tell my manager the app architecture is the most critical problem and should be the primary focus before any new features
>manager is a complete fucking retard, 0 technical knowledge
>"lol, anon, the app isn't crashing, it's completely fine"

I'm looking for a new job

>>61439110
think you meant redundant

>>61438074
>Hey anon can you change a pdf to doc?
>Yes
>You are a genius

>>61438628
Y'know, I grew up in a domestically abusive environment throughout my entire childhood (and most of my twenties). The kicker was me being the only male in a family of three women: my mom and two sisters. Obviously, you can guess that most of the shit I got, whether physically or emotionally (mostly the latter), came from my mom, since she was raised in a German household. Some of that shit included what you see in this screencap: no one listening or taking you seriously, forcing you into situations and inconveniences, assuming and misinterpreting your intent and actions, and straight up treating you like a lesser class. It's not the worst of the abuse (with me -- this included being held up to the ceiling by my neck), but it also isn't any less aggravating and disparaging. If you want a nice example of a young boy being abused by his mother, this is a pretty good one.

tl;dr: Anon's mom is just straight up abusive.

>And now it's time to burn this cringeworthy soapbox.

>>61438213
experience.

>>61438911
chek'd
Same here. I'd remember it from time to time and get annoyed but after reading it through again I'm just mad. I hope he raped them both. I wonder what happened to that poor bastard.

>>61438248
>>61438525
>>61438628
I don't even remember the story anymore. Just the anger I feel, RIGHT NOW.

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>family refuses to take my advice/listen to me
>believes non-sense over what I try to explain to them

I don't really bother to clean up their messes anymore.

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>>61438074
>Fix friend's pc for free several times
>Months later he switches his psu's voltage switch while it's still plugged in
>Loud noise and smoke
>he pays a tech to replace his psu
>PC still doesn't work
>he and his family now blame me
>"ok"
>never help that fucker again and reserve my help for those that actually deserve it

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>>61438628
I'm gonna make this my wallpaper so that every time, just before I get online, I'm filled with an unquenchable anger that I'll let loose on the poor hapless denizens of the net.

>wagecuck at a major telecom company as customer support
>50 year old woman calls in
>complains about neighbors using Wi-Fi and that it's triggering her electricity allergy
>she's not even a customer
>tell her we can't help her with this
>starts retelling her life story for the next 30 min and that she is divorced and has cats

so this is the future of feminism

>all these le MAD xDDDD newfags
That story is fake and never happened you little shits
If you weren't tech illiterate you'd know why.

>>61441033
Fucking madmad

>>61441056
Thanks for this I cracked up.

>>61440148
Go backto reddit fucking faggot.

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>friend got C&C: TS
>I'm new to warez and didn't have broadband so I ask him to burn me a copy
>he does
>go back home, insert CD into the drive
>It's the game's desktop shortcut

>>61441011
Another story..
>they have a printer
>for whatever reason they have a one really long USB cable, that they switch around between the PCs every time they want to print
>I connect the printer to the network instead
>they complain its too complicated/doesn't work
>switch things back to the one long USB cable
why bother..

>>61441060
Please enlighten us, you adopted-only-child-of-Stallman. How so?

>>61438198
I'm curious. What does it usually do when you power on a CPU-less computer? Do some fans spin? Do some LEDs light on? Or does nothing at all happen as if the PSU was out?

>>61441175
Check FAT16's limitations.

>>61438441
on top of your seat reading experience

>>61441224
Yep. Didn't even register. Still, could've been a brainfart on OP's part. Eh, still the situation seems likely enough.

>>61441198
Im pretty sure most mobos will just give beep warnings, perhaps as if it's not seated properly. I don't know. Never had that issue because I'm not retarded.

>>61441198
It will refuse to boot without a cpu

>become watch repairer
>never want to do computers again
>still have to be IT bitch at jewery store workplace because the girls are clueless and the sysadmin is basically God (ie never seen by anyone and has no real effect on our world)
How do I pretend I'm dumb at computers?

>>61441351
Throw up hands, shrug shoulders, lame excuse like you only use apple. Change subject by flirting with girls.

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>>61438248

>>61441224
>>61441281
>/r9k/
>beta bullied by women
>having to specify that Debian is a Linux distro to other betas
>FAT16
Yeah, I could imagine OP could fuck up something small like that.

>>61441315
Why is it retarded? Knowing this could help pinpointing hardware failures.

>about 2014, girlfriend's mom buys her a new computer for $200
>its slow so she asks me to look at it
>Pentium 4 with 4x256mbs DDR ram running Windows 7 starter edition
>tell her it's fucked, but try to upgrade it with DDR I had lying around from builds in the ancient past and a GT 610
>their power blew one day and surged the whole fucking thing

Great use of $200.