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>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?

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>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?
>>
>>why are you a good fit for this company
>at the end of the fucking interview
>>
it's where I live
so I don't have to travel lots
I know some nice people here that I have worked with before
this sector has a good future perspective
your company is known to be involved in lots of big projects
you are the regional market leader in your field
>>
>what are your weaknesses?
>>
I started that answer my last interview with "well of course I need the money" followed by a little laugh and an explanation of why I chose to try to make money with this job instead of other options. I got the job, but I wonder what they thought about that. I thought it made me honest while still going in depth about why I like the job
>>
Your company has access to certain resources that I will need to make use of in my future plans. I did a lot of research. Yours is the only company in a 60 mile radius with access to what I want.
>>
>please solve this simple Java problem on paper
>you have ten minutes
>>
>don't call us we'll call you
>>
>>51582030
I always give them a computer to use. Writing it out on paper is stupid as a test but they can definitely use scratch paper for pseudocode or whatever else they want
>>
>if you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
>>
>>51581702
I am unable to say no
>>
> I intend to leak information concerning your unconstitutional practices to the public once I have sufficient security clearance
>>
>apply at AMD's
>no license required
>>
>>51582466
A beaver.
>>
>>51582651
why?
>>
>>51581702
i'm bit of a workaholic lol :-)
>>
>>51582665
Cause I like to be very efficient.
>>
>>51582768
you're hired.
>>
>>51581690
All valid responses except for the first. Don't make it about how it's convenient for you.
>>
>>51582466
A human.
>>
>>51582466
a party animal :^)
Just love the faces they make when you say this.
>>
I'm just here for the health insurance.
>>
>>51582783
>being in the area so you don't have to uproot your family is a bad reason
Anon plz
>>
What's the stupidest question you've ever been asked in an interview?
>>
>what makes you different from all the other applications we've had so far
>are you prepared to work unpaid overtime
>have you ever been in a car accident
>>
>>51583016
If I was Amish.
>>
>>51583022
>>are you prepared to work unpaid overtime
Politely inform them that is illegal.
>>
>>51581702
Seriously, what's a reasonable answer to this? Luckily I've never been asked this in an interview, but I have no idea what I'd say.
>>
>>51583058
I did and he sent me home on the spot. I seriously believe he was just testing me - trying to see if I would rant his (presumably) shady business practices out to the press.
>>
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>>51583076
>Seriously, what's a reasonable answer to this?

What's your weakness?
"I really suck at job interviews."
>>
>>51583022
>have you ever been in a car accident
for what pvuprose do they need to know
>>
It's a subtle way of asking if you're unreliable.
>>
>>51583016
Do you want this job?
>>
>>51583016
We don't want you, but would you happen to know anyone else who might be interested in this position?
>>
>>51583282
holy shit, literal job-cuc.king
>>
>>51583306
>not hooking them up with your ex-jailbird weed smoking uncle
>>
>>51581702
wait, are you implying I'm weak?
>>
>>51583896
Well, this IS a pro wrestling job offer.
>>
>>51581702
My weakness is that I have no weakness
>>
>>51581642
Because you will pay me?
>>
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> You seem skilled at programming, but as I'm sure you know, software engineering is more about collaborating with other engineers and producing quality documentation.
> What are some examples of projects you've worked on with others, and can you show us their docs?
>>
> We're an "always on" company. We serve thousands of users across dozens of clients all around the world.
> The old 9 to 5 model doesn't work in the modern world. Working here, you're going to need to be available anywhere, anytime. Is that going to be a problem?
> Our positions are salaried, by the way.
>>
>apply for internships/entry level job to get some experience
>need to have experience to apply for them

Thanks Obama. Time to flip some burgers
>>
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>alright mr anon, everything looks really good. please stop by hr now for the mandatory penis inspection and come back to me and we'll talk about compensation
>>
>>51586129
>docs
oh you mean a couple inline comments in a 5k line file?
>>
>>51586213
The experience they want for an internship is personal/class level. If they're a web dev house, they want you to know HTML and have built something with PHP or Rails. If they're an embedded shop, they want you to have built something bigger than a class project in C and done something interesting with an Arduino. If they're a big stuffy suit-wearing company, they want you to have put together a formal documentation package for a class project. Stuff like that.

When I got my internship, the only experience I had beyond classes was research work I did with a professor the previous summer. I built a client/server application in java, python, and PHP. We did some whiteboard coding and that was that; I later found out the biggest thing that got me the position was the ~20 minute conversation I had with one of their engineers earlier about unit testing and TDD.
>>
>>51586248
> No, the end-user documentation. Show us the usage guides and formal specification.
>>
>>51581642
>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?
Because there are other candidates outside who can do this job. The difference comes down to the quality of work and maturity. I believe that I am a better long-term investment for your company.

>>51581662
>>why are you a good fit for this company
Because my skills and experience are aligned with the job description. My personality is idea for this type of job and my values align with that of the company.

>>51581702
I am impatient and a perfectionist.

>please solve this simple Java problem on paper
I am a Finance graduate, next question.

>don't call us we'll call you
Thank you for wasting our collective time

>if you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
pass

These are too easy.
>>
>>51581702
>what are your weaknesses?

I tend to micromanage some things that are in retrospect better left to themselves, and I occasionally have issues with making immediate decisions without the full understanding of what my superiors would demand.

Git gud at job interviews faggots

Also, if you truly believe you don't have any weaknesses, or are too proud/dumb to even consider analyzing yourself for any potential ones, I wouldn't want you working for my company either
>>
>>51586340
>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?
>I believe that I am a better long-term investment for your company.

thanks for having our best interests as your number one priority anon, so kind of you to offer yourself here because you simply want the best for us
>>
>>51586451
The panel sitting there evaluate candidates like livestock and how much utility they will provide in the long-run. They are going to spend thousands of dollars to train you not so you can run away after 2 years to another company as a trained employee.

Its all about cost and benefits.
>>
>>51586517
and I'm sure they'll be totally blown away by your honest and straightforward statement of superiority
>>
Just google the company, go to their website, and see all they shit they claim to do
Say you want to do all that

Also, if they have a blog, read the shit out of it
>>
Anon please on the board, write me an algorithm, in a language of your choice, or in pseudo, of reversing a linked list using recursion
>>
Please tell us an example of a time when you where a team leader, and what challenges/problems you faced, and how you overcame them, using your leadership qualities
>>
>>51586676
reverse {
let second = first.next
first.nextNode = first
reverse(second)
}
>>
>>51586726
>first.nextNode = first
So each node, instead of pointing to a different node, will point to itself?

Go ahead and draw an example list of, let's say four, nodes below the code and walk through your algorithm on it.
>>
>>51581702
Have you ever cared too much?
>>
>>51581702
oh boy where do i start...
>>
>>51586726
Baka senpai to be honest desu
>>
>>51581702
i eat poo
>>
>>51583138
if you drive a company vehicle. They will run a background check on your driving record anyway, but if you have an unreported accident they want you to rat yourself out.
>>
>be in interview with a quite respected company
>they draw a coordinate system with a line in it but no data
>what is the formula for this line?
>ax+b
>correct
>get hired
Fuck this industry seriously
>>
>>51581642
I'm inexperienced college dropout, so I'm willing to do dirty job for minimal wage
>>
>>51581702
I spend my free time posting memes on an Argentinian expressive dance image board
>>
>>51581702
Cute anime grills.
>>
Because I love this company. Ever since I first laid eyes on its name, I knew.

How could I possibly want to work anywhere else? Everyone else SUCKS!
But you don't. You're the most amazing company ever.
>>
>>51590038
What is our company name spell backwards?
>>
>>51581662
>If we asked your friends, what would they say if we asked them "Why should we hire Anon"?
At the end of the interview.

Still pissed at that. But I know the Arab they choose instead. We go to vocational school together. Doesn't look like he's making it through his exams. Oopsie!
>>
>>51586418
>Also, if you truly believe you don't have any weaknesses, or are too proud/dumb to even consider analyzing yourself for any potential ones, I wouldn't want you working for my company either
That is obviously not the point. The point is that 'I suffer from crippling depression and the only woman I have touched in the past 5 years is my mother' probably won't get you the job.
>>
>>51586340
>if you were an animal, which one would you like to be?

>if

I am an animal you ignorant fucks, keep your goddamn job.
>>
>>51590076
What is the proper answer to this question, then? Obviously it can't be the good old "I'm such a perfectionist! I just don't turn in project before they are flawless!" and similar "It's actually a plus which I disguise as a negative".

I just tell them how fucked up my eyes are and that I can't drive and probably never will, until self-driving cars are in reach.
>>
>>51586676
>language of choice
Ok let me do this in C++

mylist.reverse();

>anon it has to be recursive
Alright.

template<typename T>
std::list<T> reverseList(std::list<T>& l, bool reversed) {
if (!reversed)
return reverseList(true);
l.reverse();
return l;
}
>>
>>51590115
Shit I fucked up :DDDD forgot the parameter in the first recursive call

Welp there goes my imaginary job interview
>>
>>51590056
Kroaxialdufique?
>>
>>51581702
fucking this.
>>
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>>51590020
This
>>
>>51583016
What I identify as
>>
>>51581702
Just quote Mr. Darcy

>I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. -- It is I believe too little yielding -- certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. -- My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.''
>>
>>51586280
stuff like this gets you hired for any job. It shows you were interested in doing and learning about the work outside of a pay incentive.
>>
>>51590076
This
>>51590112
I have been told by different people contradicting answers. Some say you shouldn't disguise a strength as a weakness because it makes you look like you are a load of shit. And some say you should do so because it increases the odds of you getting the job. So my guess is it just depends on the interviewer.
>>
>>51582996
For companies, yes. They don't care.
They want to see how motivated you are, not how much do you care about being in a comfortable position.
>>
>>51582466
A platypus.
>>
>>51583076
It's human to have weaknesses.
Pick your less bad one, and say it.
Mine was "I am always very cautious, so this leads me to be very slow to push myself out of my comfort zone when needed."

>>51586164
Fuck no.

>>51583022
I don't really know what the other applicant you've had so far have to offer, so it's an unreasonable question to answer.
No, I'm sorry.
Yes, 6 years ago.

But really, Sugar-coated honesty is what works best.
>>
>>51590344
Good choice.
>>
>>51590344
platypus don't real
>>
>>51581702
Geography.
>when applying to a tech related job
Is this a good answer? Because it's completely honest.
>>
>>51590448
Only if you have something else that's actually related.
>>
>>51590462
So I can't just say something that's not related to the job as weakness?
"I'm really bad at geography and politics."
>>
>>51590469
Well you can answer that if you want to out your autism as early as possible
>>
>>51590481
How about "I have ADD" or "I want you to fuck me in the shitter"?
>>
>>51590489
>I want you to fuck me in the shitter
How is that a weakness?
>>
>>51581642
>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?
I don't, my mom wants me to work like a wageslave, so she submitted my application. Why would I want to work instead of jacking off to anime?

>>51581702
>what are your weaknesses?
My neck hurts when I sit for too long and my jaws hurt when speak too much. I'm overweight but the nice rainbow haired HR lady told me you guys will hire me

>51583022
>what makes you different from all the other applications we've had so far
Well others aren't community college dropouts

>are you prepared to work unpaid overtime
No, I need money to buy anime figurines

>have you ever been in a car accident
Not irl since I can't drive but loads of times in GTA
>>
>>51590506
It means I get easily distracted from work
>>
>>51590469
No, it ends up seeming like you're not serious.

It doesn't have to be specifically related, but it should be related to actually working.

Whatever you say that you're not good at, also say that you're working on getting better and how you're going about that.

after the serious bit you can say a joke-y answer to lighten the mood.
>>
>>51586517
Arrogance is a big turn off.
>>
>>51581642
>>And why do you want to work for our company, Mr. anon?
well sir i like your company and i like money, so why not get money while working for a company i like! its a win-win sir.
>>
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>>51581702
my gentoo fetish :^)
>>
>>51582783
Don't listen to anon. All are valid responses. If you have a family in the area they like you double since you're less likely to just quit after 2 years and move.
>>
>>51581702
Answering tricky interview questions.
>>
To get paid.
>>
>>51586676
reverse :: [a] -> [a]
reverse [] = []
reverse (x:xs) = reverse xs ++ [x]
>>
>>51581702
Like uh, with or without my raiding gear? If I'm playing casual I'm weak to Water based special attacks.

When I'm kitted up for ass kicking, I'm weak to status effects, but that doesn't matter because we hardcore players do the dungeon instances where monsters don't inflict status effects haha. Pretty good tactic, huh?

I'm a level 192 Fire/Lightning Hybrid Warlock btw. My stat build is a secret. :^) Can't have noobs trying to copy me el oh el.
>>
>>51591088
>Haskell
>default list is linked list
>>
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>>51581642
>not only applying for companies you actually want to work for
One of the many reasons I now work at Intel
>>
>>51591160
Hey! I work at Intel too.

Only as a coffee machine though, but I'm slowly rising up the ranks. Boss tells me he might put me on CPU maker duty soon. Pretty excited!
>>
>>51591140
He said any language

I can't believe people didn't chose Haskell first, I reckon if that was an interview question, he would want to know if you actually know about languages like Haskell, or just some CS-drone that knows all the popular languages like Java and C, and would try and solve their problem using that
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