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I just went out and got one of those new smart toilets everyone

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Thread images: 11

I just went out and got one of those new smart toilets everyone has been talking about. Anyone have any recommendations for some must-have apps I should install to this thing? Or just general tips would be appreciated, looking forward to running it through its paces later this evening.
>>
download more TP
>>
what the fuck is this real
smart tvs
smart refrigerators
smart toasters
smart pens
smart computers
when will it end
what we really need is smart people
>>
>>45393940
>smart toilet
>takes your shit
>smart
I don't think so.
You may have been sold a dumb-toilet-for-dumb-people by a smart person, but a toilet is hardly smart.
And so aren't you.
>>
I like the fart sounds app.
>>
>>45393940
>I just went out and got one of those new smart toilets everyone has been talking about.
hahahah NO ONE has been talking about this.
>>
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>>45394032
[pause for audience applause]
>>
>>45394032
>no smart condoms
>no smart spoons
>no smart toilet paper
>no smart coffee cup
>no smart calculators
>no smart shoe laces
>no smart salt

Why even browse 4chan then?
>>
>>45393940
What a load of shit!
>>
>>45393940
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kot2oe1xpQ
>>
>>45394081
>>no smart calculators
>>
>>45394145
I love getting replies like these from dumbasses.
>>
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2422755,00.asp
guys smart toilets are the answer to overpopulation
>shill botnet toilets
>drive around in bluetooth equipped vans
>remotely close toilet lids on unsuspecting shitters
>they starve to death
bam
>>
>>45394204
>dumbasses
butthurt you were proven wrong? poor baby
>>
>>45393940
>mfw all toilets will be smart toilets and you can't buy a non-smart toilet in the future.

screencap this.
>>
>>45394270
>mfw all of said toilets will require nonfree software to operate
it's fucking happening
the toilet overlords are taking our freedoms by force
>>
>>45394065
>nobody applauds because he's a pretentious dickbag somehow opposed to the progression of technology
>>
>>45394145
Fun fact of the day: For 25 dollars more than that calculator you posted you could buy pic related. All thanks to the absolute shit market for calculators that require more than four functions!
>>
>>45394653
Hey, they were pretty neat in the days back before practically everyone had a smartphone.

Nowadays don't know why someone would bother though.
>>
What does a smart toilet even do?
>>
>>45394081
Smart condoms could detect a leak.

Although the added complexity may make the failure rate higher.
>>
>>45395323
Smart condoms would be the shit.
>leak detection
>STD test

And most importantly I'd want a beer goggles app where they can tell me whether the chick's hot or I'm just drunk.
>>
>>45394746
Required for college and university level classes.
>>
>>45393940
is that a camera pointed directly at where the shit comes out?

where do I get one?
>>
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>toilet virus
>clogs itself intentionally
>sprays your balls with searing hot water
>>
botnet
>>
>>45393940
>please watch this 30 second ad to flush
>automatically share your bowel movements to facebook and twitter: [Yes] [OK]
>firmware tampering detected, toilet has been remotely disabled
>>
>>45393940
sorry I don't enjoy bidets i'd rather wipe with baby wipes, also fuck toilet paper at least wipes actually gets all the shit out of your ass without it feeling like sand paper

auto flush and clean and heated seat, yeah sure thank you that'd be fine but anything else fuck it
>>
>>45393940
>I just went out and got one of those new smart toilets everyone has been talking about.
I'll shit in a bucket before I subject my ass to the botnet.
>Anyone have any recommendations for some must-have apps I should install to this thing?
What does a smart toilet even do?
>Or just general tips would be appreciated, looking forward to running it through its paces later this evening.
How much did it cost? Can it at least fellate you?
>>
>>45394653
It's a fucking scam. Why the fuck are they so expensive?
>>
>>45396229
Yeah, I guess that's true enough. Was thinking in terms of practical applications not stuff like preventing cheating. (Though there are plenty of ways you can cheat with one of those as well, just requires slightly more effort.)
>>
>>45396439
Enjoy your clogged pipes. Unless you toss it in the bin but I'm not even going to get into that one.
>>
>>45396560
Originally because there weren't many other portable devices that could do what they did so it was legitimately a useful convenience.

Now because the market is so small they'd be fucked if they didn't charge a ridiculous markup.
>>
>>45394081
> smart salt

Yesss I must ingest my technology.
>>
>>45397417
They already have it. It's being tested in clinical trials as a good way to work disposable nanomachines into a person's regular diet, since most people eat a fairly predictable amount of salt each day.
>>
>>45397450
What are the benefits of it?

- or negatives...?
>>
wtf is a smart toilet?
how can the addition of technology make the process of flushing feces into a pipe any better?
>>
>>45397475
Apparently it tastes 20% saltier than regular salt
>>
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>>45397511
Fuck you science I wanted super powers
>>
>>45397417
Smart salt comes out of my dick
>>
The real question is: Did you install gentoo on it?
>>
>>45397552
If everyone got super powers, then they wouldn't be super-powers, would they?
Modern medicine and shit has gotten life expectancies to 80+. That'd be a superpower to someone born a couple hundred years ago who was expecting to die at 40 something if they were lucky
>>
>walk in to office john
>all smart toilets
>take shit
>get ready to flush
>look at remote
>see fingerprints all over screen
>release that every person in that office has smeared shit all over this thing
>nope, not even once.
>>
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>>45397585
This is acceptable. I'm off to buy as much as I can and I will be the greatest super an hero to ever live, Sodium Load.

> may god help you all
>>
>>45394123
>most funny video ever
I had to close it just on principle
>>
>>45397627
godspeed, sodiumload
>>
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>almost 2015
>still no flying cars anywhere
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>>45397773
>still no hoverboards that work on every surface
>>
>>45397815
You can make one with a few strong magnets and some other cheap electronics you can get for around ten bucks. Works off the Earth's magnetic field. I made one as a weekend project a few months back and haven't had to spend a penny for gas since. Also makes a great conversation piece.
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>>45398056
pics faget
>>
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>>45397773
>>45397815
>tfw no jetpack.
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>>45397773
>actually thinking flying cars are in any way shape or form a good idea
>>
>>45394032
>what we really need is smart people

I like you
>>
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>>45398327
>>
>>45393940
install Linux on it
>>
>>45398391
Exacly my point. Flying cars would be Google's next phase for the self driving car. Except it would be a self flying car. Just need to workout that gravity problem.
>>
>Square toilet
>Smart

Pic one
>>
>>45398470
once self-driving cars have taken over the streets, traffic is going to become really efficient. we probably won't need flying cars for a while. not to mention it can't happen until batteries take a few leaps to make them have any sort of distance (they will definitely be electric)
Thread posts: 58
Thread images: 11


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