ITT: lies you tell to yourself
>I will start my cut tomorrow
>I'll find someone like her...no, better! I'll find someone even better than her.
life is shit
Strong John Lenin quotes m8.
Leonidas, Leonidas, Leonidas... You never lern man...
>My negro genetics don't mean a thing when it comes to the dating world. I'll still marry a qt white girl
>I'll stop my cut tomorrow
I know I look unhealthy and disgusting because of what my friends are telling me but anytime I look in a mirror all I see is that extra bit of pudge I can punch between my fingers. 104 lbs now, help /fit/ I'm scared
Holy fuck this so much. My cut has been severely set back by indulging on a few days.
>I can reward myself for doing good so far, I'm not like those fat bitches.
Fuck, the lies have to stop ;_;
>my lifts are shit because of my injury
>my parents won't die within the next decade
>I'll fix my posture this year
>my prehypertension won't turn into hypertension, r-right?
>implying that even if you had 3% body fat, you would look good without muscle
>read this thread
>do cardio for first time in years
>tfw i might make it
>tfw overbulked to 103kg and my knees hurt now after doing cardio
this but i say next year , been doing this for years . at this rate ill never do it . fug
when I was 14 I was like 'nah i'll kill myself before I turn 17'
>tfw turning 19 in 9 days
>that's not according to plan
Rejection really isn't that bad.
Ask her, chances are you'll get a positive answer, which will make you feel like overcoming your fear was worth it by far. But even if you'll get rejected it's better than your situation now, because then you can move on.
>thought of killing myself all the time at 15
>believed I wouldn't live to 18
>turned 18, and figured I wouldn't live to 21
>age 19, first and so far only suicide attempt
>have had several other "attempts", but don't really count them since I never got as close to dying as the first time
>turned 21, and gave myself another year to successfully kill myself
>turning 25 in a few months, life's improved 1000%, stable career, decent group of friends, future prospects pretty high, finally in therapy
>still doubt I'll live another 2 years
It never ends
It's a long story that I doubt anyone wants the details to, but the tl;dr version
>abused by father
>mother dies at 13, only person whoever made me feel good about myself
>morbidly obese as a teenager, and so teased/abused by social peers
>went to college, dropped out due to depression/anxiety making it hard for me to focus on anything
>abuse from dad continues
>at age 19 after suicide attempt, say "fuck it" and head out on my own with nothing but a camping backpack and whatever I could fit in it
>be totally homeless for 6 months sleeping in parks and under overpasses
>get a job at CVS
>be technically homeless for a year (squatting in an abandoned apartment complex)
>save up to buy a laptop
>teach myself to program
>get job as web developer
>move into legitimate apartment
>gain friends through work/other activities I can now afford to do
>still tfw no gf though, however I've lost 100+lbs since leaving home and have been lifting for the past year so...hopefully this changes?
Just promise us you won't have kids, ok? They're going to have your DNA and clearly it's not working out for you.
You've lived a life of suffering, just don't make kids who will also live a life of suffering.
As for advice, I don't know really know what to say. I guess the one advantage (not sure if you would call it that) to being suicidal is that I've been able to take more risks with my life, believing that if shit doesn't work out, I'll just kill myself anyways so it doesn't matter.
I've just gotten lucky in that most of the risks I've taken up to this point have paid off.
I doubt this would work for everyone, but my main advice that got me through everything is to just take insane risks with your life/career and hope for the best.
life gainz = 500 g Test injections per week
confirmed for making it.
i relate to some aspects of your journey, though could obviously never fully understand your experience.
im currently half way through the path myself, taking time out of college (rather than dropping out completely), which leads me to my lie i keep telling myself:
just another 3 months and ill be ready to go back
said this twice already, now about to say it to myself again and extend another 3 months
Once I achieve my goal weight it will be enough and I will be happy just maintaining it because I will have the confidence I want.
>my life will turn out alright, no worries, I don't need worries
>my dick is not that small
Try measuring in the morning. My morning wood's half an inch longer than my usual length. Granted, I fap at least once a day so my dick size tends to fluctuate a bit.
classic result of social and life rejection, where you become perfectionist thinking it will act as a barrier to ever failing to being hurt or rejected
then you chase an unrealistic ideal, constantly putting everything off because you're "not ready yet", because secretly you're worried it will go wrong as you've not reached your unrealistic standard yet
exactly what im going through as said at the end of here: >>31173056
Eh, I don't really consider a lot of my stories "interesting", however whenever I get drunk and just rattle on about random shit, people always tell me to write a book or something.
Just general things that have happened though:
>hitch hiked throughout the state of California with some other hobo-bros wearing halloween masks and a sign that said "We won't rape or kill you" (actually got picked up pretty frequently).
>made a friend who grew weed in Humboldt county, introduced him to friend of mine who had connections with dealers in D.C and wanted a source. Made a decent finders fee and almost got sucked into being a dealer.
>got drunk and hit a cop with a folding chair who was trying to arrest a friend of mine, we both managed to actually run away
>took mushrooms and acid several times with random crazy shit happening each time
>made decent cash helping some asian grocery stores cash out food stamps
>got guns pointed in my face on several occasions, some I deserved, some totally random
This post implies:
>I have a "personality," or: I experience life in affecting and being affected upon and interpret that as unique in that only I am privy to these experiences; or: I am a free agent consisting of a bundle of thoughts more or less unique to my own subjective experience, I am not confined to the imperatives of my physiology which is determined through a process of centuries of breeding
>I am disclosed to myself as an individual subject whose intelligence I can gauge as if objectively or detached from myself
>the sexual fetishes of a mass ideology or the western "horizon" may be dispelled through intimate knowledge or accurate conveyances of these above-mentioned experiences, as, again, I am not confined to a particular physiology
Dropped out of school years ago cause I had this idea that a 2 year psychology degree would get me a good job. Now I'm working a dead end service industry job as I near the end of my 20's.
lol, dunno if serious, but I actually enjoy rambling about my life whenever people are in the mood to listen.
You can email me at [email protected] (I use this email specifically for 4chan)
>I'll be satisfied one day
>Girls will talk to me first
>I can be happy
Thinking that much about it at all. If you like a girl, then ask her out, don't waste a shit ton of time wondering if you should and if she might like you back.
>tfw I don't follow my own advice
Fuck. Right in the feels.
My dog died January 5 this year. I think about him every day. I can't watch Budweiser Superbowl commercials without crying.
I hung his collar on my rack. I look at it and picture him looking at me when I'm struggling with that last rep. I haven't failed a rep since.
>if I get fit a non beta man will love me
Not all gays hate the v, r-right?
knowing the answer is negative will hurt, but it'll help you move on, which will be healthy. It's not good to hang onto something that wont happen.
It'll be like a mini break up but a lot easier
so you're basically a dude with a vagina?
I'd tap that
I've been rejected by a friend who I've still continued to hang out with.
I'm not gonna lie, it'll be awkward for maybe the first 2 weeks after, but if you can just act normal (key here is ACT, I know inside you'll probably feel like shit if she did reject you) and treat her like you always do, then things will likely be back to normal after those first two weeks.
the key is to take in stuff which you enjoy.
i used to watch lots of debates online and found some "public intellectuals" who I really admire
last night i went on a date with a portuegese milf and it turns out she was into really similar topics so we just spoke about it for ages and then she was practically dry humping me in this restaurant by the end of it
I could be gay but not have to deal with guilt for not bottomming
Kissed another girl 2 weeks ago for the first time since we broke up to try and forget that she has found someone else.
Just made me feel even shittier.
At least lifting helps a little
Tinder is a dangerous game m8
whenever ive tried digital-based-dating it's crushed my self esteem
full of girls who just do it for the ego boost, knowing literally hundreds of guys message them every single day, but they dont go through with it because it has a reputation of being slutty
not to shit on your goals but focus on yourself, getting yourself to a point where you feel happy enough with yourself to just talk to girls face to face
Alternatively: so you think that you can only "get laid" with your soulmate, or that your soulmate is anyway who you "get laid" with?
Doesn't the former definition seem unlikely, given emphasis on sex in our society, and doesn't the latter definition cheapen the concept of a "soulmate"?
You sound like a very confused Christian or pseudo-Christian.