>Now gimme that gym bag white boy! all your gym stuff and

>>28615169
im suicidal so i guess i'd make him stab me for it
i'd at least give him a black eye or something

just run away fuck whats he gonna do he's alone

As an 800m runner, I would probably just run. That's a good enough distance to tire anyone out if you're going fast

you crack me up

>>28615169
joke's on him i was going to dump those dildos in the river

*grabs by the wrist*

since gym is across the street i go to gym in workout clothes

bag includes - a bottle of water, a towel, a pair of old beat up sneakers worth one dollar american

no supplements

>getting robbed by a white boy
>calls me white boy

holy shit if I ever get robbed I hope this happens, sounds hilarious

>>28615204

I would suck on his knife and wink at him

>>28615169
"Go fuck yourself" and they walk away. Little wigger won't stab you.

>>28615222
*grabs him by the throat*

>butterfly knife
>only on edge sharpened
>3 in blade

I'd laugh at his knife and pull mine

>>28615169
*throws lacrosse ball*

>>28615256
*throws barbell*

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>>28615169
but I'm Vietnamese

>>28615169
grab his limp wrist right away or go for under/overhooks and beat his ass

>>28615169
>tfw only trained sprinting
>tfw need to rest after 100 meters

>>28615222
>gets hit with a straight right

But I'm mulatto blud

>>28615286
m8 his squinty eyes clearly can't differentiate

>>28615169
Threatening me with that? really? lol. A random rock or stick is a more efficient weapon than that

>>28615169
I watched a youtube video on how to deal with a armed robber using a knife

I'd egg him on to try and stab me if he has the balls and since most are likely to go for the ribs or the stomach, if he's right handed, you push your right arm on the inside of his forearm, pushing the knife to your left while you slip inside his vicinity, either pushing him with both hands to make some space so you can run, or once the knife is away from your anteriors, you step on his right foot, grabbing his knife hand from the wrist with your left, ducking under the arm to get to his back and twist his arm in a lock on his back and twsiting the wrist until he lets go of the weapon

>inb4 hurr durr too long, have fun in morgue, ribs in bliss faggot

>>28615169
I take out my deadlifting gear and rep out 550x5.

That should deter him.

>>28615169
That's like a cute little butter knife. Just walk away from the dumb kid, he knows his little toy won't work and won't chase after you.
Or mace him in the face.

>>28615363
it's probably long to describe but easy to do. if you've drilled hard enough to have it instinctual, which let's face it, we have cambodian fitness macros to approciate

>>28615241
*unsheathes katana*

>>28615363
Put on a white shirt. Get a friend with a red marker to try this out.

See if you can stop him from drawing on your shirt.

Hint: You will be unable to do so.

>adipowers
>inzer belt
>inzer wraps
>fish oil
>chucks
>chalk

Guess I'm out about $400 to replace all that shit.

>>28615363
>stepping into an attack on the inside

Have fun getting punched by his left and then stabbed. Step on a 45 angle to the outside of his arm and stick close to maintain maximum control.

Also, run away you stupid faggot. You will die.

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>>28615363
>I watched a youtube video on how to deal with a armed robber using a knife
>watched a youtube video
>youtube
>video

>>28615363
nigga you got it all wrong! That would put you in a shit position. You either parry with your left arm so you can punch him with your right, or you grab his sleeve with your right, pull it right and punch with the left. You don't want to leave him with a free hand too close to your face

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>>28615169
>supplements
>implying I waste money on bullshit

I would pull my sig and give him 147 gr of gains

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>>28615408
>we did that in aikido once
>tfw i looked like an emo faggot in a my chemical romance concert with my wrists painted

>>28615450
Why is her thigh all black and blotchy?

The surprise he will have when he finds my butt plugs and dragon dildo. I've got 2 huge bottles of lube and hand cream. I usually have some water too, I get thirsty pretty fast.

>>28615397
*unzips dick*

>>28615499
necrosis

>>28615241
BACK THE FUCK OFF??

>>28615169
I live in Los Angeles, if someone tried to rob me with a knife I would laugh and just walk the other direction.

>>28615169

way less fucked than if I tried to run from him.

cardio kill gains.

*laugh evily*
Youve stepped into a dark realm you fool.
*unsheathes shuriken*
LETS FINISH THIS LITTLE CHARADE
*throws him up into the air, slices him into a million little pieces*
Heh, he sure got a piece of my mind

>>28615294
if you got unders he could stab your kidneys

Hah! My supplements are actually dried bull semen.

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good thing I always go to the gym prepared

>>28615721

Omg like Bilzarien is amung us guiz!

>>28615169
>2 inch blade
i'll take my chances

>>28615721
why do you bring a cat to the gym

>>28615233
"You wanna know how I got these scars?"

>>28615805
because niggers tongue his anus

*grab him by the throat*
back the fuck off!!?!?

>>28615740
thread/

imagine this guy stealing bag from the guy with live turd in it

>>28615169
>Jump rope
>Boxing gloves
>MMA gloves (1 hand missing but oh well it looks cool to have)
>90 lb resistance cable for dat der internal external rotation rotator cuff work.
>weight belt
>Chain belt
>First aid kit

Shit I'll just hit him with the bag.

>>28615721
Your membership sure is spendy..

I'd beat him using Japanese martial arts, and I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. Hell, I'm not even talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara. I'm talking Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu

>>28615169


>guy grabs bag and tries to run off
>4 Gallon jugs of milk slow his escape
>run to my car and take out my backup shaker
>curl it at his head, splitting it open
>mix shake with milk as normal as I stand over his bloodied corpse


GOMAD life.

>>28615221
hahaha

>>28617096
your inner dbz is showing

>>28617064
>First aid kit

You forgot to list your tampons.

>>28615169
sweaty shorts and a t-shirt
I guess I can live with that

>>28615169
My EDC knife is bigger. And I'm pretty sure at 6'4 I have longer reach than he does. Losing his advantage he'd probably just back down. Why go at someone for money when there are easier targets? And if not, throw the knife at him while I make a run for it

>>28617150
>not having even the most basic level of medical training

everyone look at this patrician and laugh

>>28615805
the question is, why dont you?

He'll be surprised when he sees that pipebomb
>meep meep

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>>28615169
>s-sure
>trip over
>bag flies through the air in slow motion
>a supplement container flies out of the bag and does 360 kickflip mid-air
>999 sick ultra cool style
>lid unravels in one ultra stylish SSS motion
>creatine spills all over burglar
>Earth begins shaking, lightning falls down from the sky
>W-HAT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
>burglar explodes, his untrained body unable to control the gains
>pshhhhh, nothing personal fuckboi

Creatine, not even once

>>28615286
You fucking shit

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>>28615721
> Tipping the receptionist that much

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Act afraid and nervous, reach down to place bag on floor to my far left with left hand. Watch for his attention to break toward the bag. Soon as it does I drive off the ground and then hook him in the jaw or throat for knockout. Take bag, take knife. If he doesn't look at the bag as I place it, he can keep it because I just missed my only window.

>>28615169
I would create a cloud of diversion with my chalk then when he is blinded I would hit him like a arabic mom with my adipowers. GG

>>28617781
>My EDC knife is bigger.

Your erectile dysfunction cock knife? What?

>And if not, throw the knife at him while I make a run for it

He now has two knives. Good job.

I don't have a gym bag

>>28619188
>being this delusional

As a kickboxer I beat the shit out of him.

>>28615225
I kek'd imagining this.

>>28615381
underrated post

>>28615204
>If I ran now, no one could catch me

>>28619023
>search entire thread
>only one mention of pipebomb
/fit/'s changed...

>>28615381
He'd probably get board watching you do 549 minutes resting.

>>28615225

Well, you go and find a picture of a black robber on google.

>>28615169
> fuck my weed

>>28615169
b-but im chinese

I pepper spray him

>>28619494
>>28615286
>I said gimme that bag little gook!

>not stabbing yourself in the arm and licking the blood while looking him in the eye

>>28619594
racist

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>>28619289
Every Day Carry

And yes, I'm going to throw it in such a way it is convenient for him to catch, and totally not in a way that will at least make him flinch

I lost a change of clothes (which were probably some contest giveaways, anyway).

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>yfw UK government pays you compensation if you get attacked and have injuries as long as you have evidence

you bang foo?

Hehe...it's over kid
*pulls out two broadswords and slices his hand off, grabs him and flies up into the air and then drops him into the earth, throws him up into the air and shoots a beam of energy and splits him in half*
Nothin' personal...

>>28619634
What are you going to do with your katana though?

>>28619715
Unsheath it obviously while I scream: "BACK THE FUCK UP?"

>taking anything to the gym

My belt, some sweaty socks,underwear,tshirt,towel,a water bottle and 20$ shoes.

Yeah,I'm fucked.

>>28615554
Ay yo im gonna slather my balls in gravy and give you a gravy shower ;)

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>>28619480
holy fuck

I needed that laugh

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>>28615169
>tfw was stabbed when I was 16 - in the side of my torso and my leg + minor cut on my arm
>Would have a legit panic attack if this happened to me

Shoes, gym clothes
That's it

>>28619832
Yo that sucks bro

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>Having to leave the house
>Not being home gym masterace
>Permanent cocoon mode
>Implying this guy could ever find me to rob me

Send help

>>28615721
>>28615805
>that guy who brings his cat to the gym

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>>28615169
>2010-5+9 not wearing your liftan belt, liftan shoes, gym clothes on your way to the gym only keeping towel in bag
what are you? a curlbro?

Shiggy

b-but sir i dont have a gym bag

>>28619971
>he wears lifting shoes outside the gym

Enjoy your nogainz

>>28619832
sorry to hear that bro. Lift so youll be more intimidating.

>>28619984
>he doesnt wear his lifting shoes outside the gym

muh get 9

>>28619832
stay safe

>>28619922
Those are sick shoes.

>>28615169
>old sweat stained t-shirt
>shorts damp from all the ballsweat
>old flat soled nikes
>sweaty towel
>abot 2$ worth of chalk
>my most prized posetion - lfting belt made in the freatest place on Earth (Pakistan), costed me whole 15$

>>28620041
http://ropelacesupply.bigcartel.com/products

BACK THE FUCK OFF
*grabs you by the throat*

>>28615169
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh.... easy.....

>>28615225

This plus the fact that I'm not white.

If anything they'd want my watch, my phone, or what's in my pocket. That these would be more valuable than the contents of the gym bag would be obvious to anyone looking at me.

>>28620117
>it's time to finish this little charade
why does this line always get me

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>>28615169
Laugh and kick the shit out of him.
I'm 6'5, 245lbs and work as a bouncer on the weekends at a shitkicker bar, I've had bigger knives than that pulled on me before.

>>28620202
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

>>28615169

>grab his wrist
>get wrist control
>then pull out my gun

>>28620202
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

>>28620202
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

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>>28620217
actually had a guy show up with a katana once believe it or not. I distracted him while one of the bartenders threw a bar stool at his head.

pic is the cops faces when they watched the security camera footage after showing up to arrest the guy

>>28615169
non at all, cos if this would happen to my home town i would probably know that thug and im pretty sure it would be some of my old frends. small circles what comes to crimes and thugs.

actually, im used to get stopped by police when i carrying my gym bag, and every fucking time they want to dig my sweaty gym gears. and also every time i have to prove them where im coming from. last time they try to find out if im robbed somebody cos i just "fit in description". only thing what made them sure about that im not robbed was (and this was straight out a police mout):
>"well you look like it, but you are way too big"

>mfw when some manlet robbed somebody in the park
>manlets when will they learn

>>28620264
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

>>28620316
the lack of education is real boys

>>28620325
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

>>28620355
what? do you meant my shitty writing skills? cos that's got nothing to do whit my education, english just isnt my native language.

>>28615169
but you're white...

>>28615169
>keeping your supplements in your gym bag like a retard

Contents:
>og romaleos
>rehband knee sleeves
>belt
>wrist wraps
>straps
>chalk

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>>28615392
Unless you mean one of these, you are the dumb kid

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my mace

>>28615169
>tfw I only bring a wal-mart bag with wl shoes, towel, soap and some chalk to the gym

>>28615169
I have gym stuff and supplements!?

>>28620645
>tfw no mace

>>28620645
what's your plan when you get attacked by a bunch of females?

>>28620645

nigga that's a flail

>>28620713

He's probably fucked,because only man can harm him

>>28620713
having my mount eat them.

>>28620645
>my mace
>posts a flail
Get your shit together

>>28620645
10/10 would smite diablo with

>>28620736
>>28620747
Its a mace with a flail attached niggas.

>>28615169
>implying I'm not on a cut
>implying I don't want the cardio
checkmate, permabulkers

>>28615286
What if he goes full Mark Wahlberg on you?

>>28615169

"Heh. So it's come to this has it?" I say smirking.

I slowly lower my chin, and look up at the miscreant through my brow. My bag drops to the ground with loud thud (this is were I keep my weighted clothing for training). I can tell already the local hooligan totally shocked by my courage and strength.

"What's that matter?" I say. "If you want the bag come get it."

He lunges for the bag but he's too slow, I grab him by the wrist. I've been masking my functional strength level so far, but now this kid is getting an idea of who he is messing with. My grip is firm, the kid can't escape. In his frustration he takes a swing at me with his weapon.

"Big mistake." I say as a deftly squat out of the way. I can see the terror in his eyes as he realize what he's gotten himself into. He tries to run but it's too late, I grab him by the arm and the leg and proceed to violently deadlift him (with perfect form) for one set of five.

He's visibly shaken by this point, tears are rolling down his face. My job isn't done yet though, I quickly roll underneath him and proceed to bench him for a quick 3 sets of 5, and to finish him off a squat him (ATG) until there is nothing left but a shell of a man.

As he lay in the rain, motionless, I look back and say "lightweight baby".

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>>28620970

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>>28620970

>>28615247
this shit. its like you niggers dont want a knife fight.

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>>28619378
every damn time

I only have clothes, a water bottle and bananas in my gym bag

100% natty masterrace

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>>28620970

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>>28621297
Well, kiss your precious pottasium goodbye faggot!

>>28615169
If he literally held his hand out like that, grab it then gouge his eyes out with your free hand giving you time to walk away and let the guy reflect about his poor life choices

>>28619922
>2014
>tying your shoelaces incorrectly

>>28615169
>a knife

Good thing I'm faster and can run longer than you. You can't have my 200 dollar backpack.

>>28619634
>everyday carry
>knife

Fucking 3rd worlders when will they learn?

>>28615169
jokes on him I do insanity

>>28619378
pls explain

>>28615169
I'd just laugh at his futile attempts to lift my bag.

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I would gladly hand him my bag. good thing I always have a remote controlled PIPE BOMB in my gym bad.

"its time to end this charade" *click*

>>28623450
OH NO! I HVAE TO BUY 3 NEW ONES FOR LIKE 1.4 DOLLARS

>inb4 expensive, i'm Norwegian

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>>28623999
Expect us

>>28624038
Broder! La meg suge deg!!!

Bash his head in with my belts lever.

>tfw swinging it around my body to put it on and hitting myself in the nuts

>>28624081
Vær så snill vær i

O S L O
S
L
O

Oh we have a tough guy here huh.......

*unsheathes twin katanas surging with dark energy*

Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh.... easy.....

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>>28624088
Nice meme's bror, er du og medlem av 9gæg army?

>>28624120
>mfw jeg har 5 guns i cs:go som har 4 bomb doge stickers og heter 9gag army

Hvordan skal jeg ellers kommunisere på /fit/ enn gjennom epic memes?

>>28617096
kek m8

>>28624651
You both obviously speak English

Fucking americans

>>28624651
>>28624120
>>28624088
>>28624081
fjeldaber

>>28624882
ja, fucking fjeldaber...
Lad Pia K sejre!

>>28615169
NOT MY CREATINE OP, NOT MY CREATINE

>>28615169
Well I'm a nigger so I'd probably kick his ass and take his wallet and shoes.

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>>28624947

Not at all, based CCW master race.

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>>28615235

Was sitting together with a girl,making her laugh a lot.Then she said "You are a very special guy anon." Is this the sign?
I have decent facial aesthetics, buff as fuck and make people laugh all the time.

>>28620202
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh..heh.....easy.....

>>28625403
Oh we have a beta guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs your girl and throws her up* It's time to finish this little charade *unzip dick* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that she gets impaled on my impaled on my dick and you can only watch us fuck furiously in mid-air* Heh..heh.....easy.....

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>>28615169
bring it on fgt. I would hide one of the many blades I always carry (pic related)
in the palm of my right hand and give him the bag wih my left.
If he grabs is I slit his throat and let the maggot bleed out.

This fucked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CIb7gdshwQ

>>28615169
Just ran out of my protein powder, and I could care less if he runs off with my shitty old gym clothes.