How do I reach chad god mode?
Height, body, face, personality, if you're missing one of these you are not Chad and should promptly take down your bluetacked a4 printer photos of Jeff Seid down off your wall and reassess.
be born tall, white, and rich x 1
tan x f
A
bench 3 x 12
ohp 3 x 12
squats 3 x 12
dumbbell flyes 3 x 12
lateral raise 3 x 12
tricep pushdown 2 x 12
abs whatever x fuck you
B
pull ups 3 x 12
rows 3 x 12
curls 3 x 12
more curls 3 x 12
abs abs abs
think about doing deadlifts
ABxABxABx...
also take roids
>>37337812
>also take roids
That's roid bod?
>doing no fap
>every hot piece of ass i see out in public makes me go insane
>flashes of heavy anger and horniness
>don't give a fuck about anything
>just want to smash
is this normal?
>>37337703
Most normal thing I'm the world bruh, like a muddy pond it will settle with time, just don't keep stirring it with your dick.
>>37337703
Thats how I feel on no fap.
I even get to the point I'm looking at 60 year old grannies who kept in shape as fuck material.
>>37337703
I have test 2 times higher than maximum, thats anger & madness coming with me all the time. Starting love this shit.
>that obviously depressed neckbeard doing Starting Strength who stares at the ground with a blank expression and headphones in
>>37337629I need some help bro, I have terminal autism. I feel the need to end it but every time I get close I get really hard and end up jerking off. I now have a fetish for killing myself
>>37337629
>>>>>>>>>
Gym is currently getting a influx of summerfags. Seen one group doing cleans in the power rack with 60lb (like the bar & a 10 on each side)
Gym Horror stories Thread
>Be me 250 pd 6'2 big guy trying to get healthy for the past month Counting cals, getting educated etc
>Go to new gym in area and get FREE personal trainer
>Gives me a survey to judge my dyel
>Tell him my powerlift workout plan, and how I used to play football in highschool, and try working out the beginning of every summer but fail
> Ask me 3 goals/reasons for working out
>Tell him to put aesthetics for all three
> Takes me in back and has me shake this rope and do a bunch of body weight workouts
Con't
>Literal shit at these and have no endurance since power lifter my whole life
> Sides start cramping
>Tell him I'm at my limit
>Disregards me
> Has me push a tiny slider with 75 pds on top of it
>Hyperventalating as my shirt continuously raises above my huge gut
>legs begin to give out after the 2nd round of me pushing this little shitty slider
> After falling on the ground for the 3rd time pushing this shitty slider that makes me look like a cuck seal asking for dong, I look to side
>Skinny fat dyel smiling ear to ear on some leg machine that works fucking kneecaps
>Raise me head for a second and look around
> Entire gym is looking at me push this fucking thing and laughing
>Feel my spaghetti begin to fall as my gut refuses to be put back into my shirt
> Trainer tells me to finish up and make it back to the assisted pull-up machines
>Try one last time to finish this fucking hell training
> Legs give out and fall on my stomach
> Personal trainer begins to laugh at me
> Near the brink of shedding tears
> Make it back to the station
> Whole gym judging me, and my shit endurance
>Had a whole nother 30 mins of training planned but he cancels it and tells me I'm done.
> Tells me if I give him 50 dollars a week he'll give me a similar workout 3x a week for me
> Tell him I have no money (I'm just out of college)
> He tells me to get a job fgt
>Tfw I just got completely assblasted and paraded infront of the whole gym like a fat meat dyel
Does this HIIT even work as well as he makes it out to? Like seriously if im exhausted after 15-20 minutes I can't continue to burn calories right? Should I be changing my workouts to be more endurance based if i'm going for aesthetics?
5x12-15 instead of 3x5.
I basically just got wrecked by some army guy...
>>37337654
5x10 or 5x8, load shitton of weight bro.
My gut is ridiculous, can y'all please guide me in the right direction to fixing it...
Is it simply just bodyfat + bad posture?
Or maybe:
- Abnormal Bloating (concerned)
- Some type of syndrome (Klinefelter? Marfan?)
Should I Clean Bulk? Keto bulk? Posture exercises + bulk?
Please help srs...
Yea you probably have down syndrome if I had to guess.
Looks like autism, sorry OP
>>37387426
Too fat plus some APT would be my guess.
Help me /fit/
>walking the dog this morning
>holy shit almost stepped on a bird sitting in the path
>it's still alive, just giving sitting there lol
>go to yank dog away and continue on walk, but he's staring off up the path
>shitty cat off in the distance, just staring at us, with its beady little eyes
>bird is just looking silently up at me
>fuck, what do
So anyways now I've got pic related, it's name's Chris O'Donnell. I can't tell what's wrong with it it just seems really weak and can't stand up or fly. I tried feeding it some worms but it just bites down on them and sort of holds them in its mouth. I want to rehabilitate it and let it go, maybe get it started with some wing extensions or something, but it isn't even eating. It needs its protons, I can tell.
Prolly should get chris to a vet desu
cats need protons too
>>37337481
Well, I'm taking the dog to his acupuncturist on Monday, but I don't know if Chris can hold out that long. Also, acupuncture may just sort of kill him, I dunno If that's the best solution
Salt and water or milk and sugar?
milk, salt, and honey
peanut butter, blueberries, honey , and butter
fuck you ok
salt + water only.
Anything else is for fat pigs and/or cockroaches.
What are some satisfying foods for staying full on a 1200-calorie diet that I can order in bulk from Amazon?
>>37337314
Bump bump
>>37337314
Bump
Peanut butter and oats. All you can eat veggies.
>one chance at life
>born with a big ribcage
>>37337125
so you are saying you lucked out?
there are literally no downsides to having a big ribcage unless your dream is to live as a woman and even then having a big ribcage makes your tits bigger
wide hips < Big rib cage
>>37337149
My ribcage is huge, my shoulders and chest where both broad before I started lifting and I've never had problem bulking. BUT I therefore have top big a frame for the lean athlete look.
tell me something, /fit/
does salt actually help with gainz, or does it just slow down progress?
Salt makes thirsty.
>>37383729
How much cardio should I aim for? 30 minutes a day?
>>37383812
30min HITT 3x per week is all you need. Assuming
you're on a proper cut diet, and goal is to lose
bodyfat
>just broke up with my gf
>she is pretty much the only friend I have
>ive already worked out and now i just have to spend the rest of the day crying
at least i beat my PRs
bros get in here we're all in this together
no one has to be alone when we have the internet
>>37336888
>only friend i have
You fucking asshole.
You have US.
>>37336902
>>37336888
I was in the same boat as you m8. Sorry about the situation, but it does get better. Still pretty much friendless though.
>the gym's floor is tilted and the barbell rolls away when you're setting up for a deadlift.
You think that's bad?
>tfw the bench press isn't parallel to the ceiling tiles and so when you unrack the bar you can't tell if the bar is straight so you fiddle around straightening in between each rep
Third world problems? Third world problems.
>>37336797
>tfw the bench press is just under a light a you get blinded while lifting.
>gf is 4'11, a cup no ass asian
IS THIS MY REWARD FOR LIFTING
Post gf so we can r8.
what happened in that webm?
>>37382223
Old dudes mirin' and guys asking you how much you can bench is your reward for lifting.
What happened to crowbro? Will he squat ever again?
>>37336705
RIP crowbro
Somebody update me please. I need to know my squats helped Crowbro
My mom is always trying to save some fucking injured bird or squirrel she finds. Totally fucking insane. Let it die and move on, you're not doing anything of value.
If I want to build muscle
And I have 20% BF
can I build muscle while eating below maintenance?
Say I eat 1500 calories with 200g of protein, will the fat I already have be good enough to build muscle while cutting?
Only if noob gains are involved. You're better off eating at a 200-300 surplus and burning off the calories by exercising
>>37336698
that'll just make him at maintence
If he eats 2300 and then exercises and gets to 2000 total, assuming his TDE is 2000, he won't gain or lost any weight
>>37336698
U won't lose weight but you'll lose fat