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how to achieve casey neistat mode?
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roll shit genes
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HILLARY CLINTON
I'M VOTING FOR HILLARY CLINTON
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wear sunglasses x infinity
sell out to dipshit liberals x 4
promote liberal propaganda x infinity
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According to my tracking, i have an intake of 51g of protein more than i should, less 23g of fat than i should and more 38g of carbohydrates and less 25 kcal than i should.
What are your insights and your tips? I only eat healthy fresh food and wourk out 6 times per week.
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>inb4 "read the sticky faggot lmao xD"
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>>41567436
have you tried throwing up the protein yet and saving it for tomorrow?
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>>41567461
Better yet shoot a load into your protein shaker for the next day
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What workouts can i do to get my face muscles swole AF?
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>>41567430
cocksuck x f
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Mastic gum, order it on Amazon
Chew it for an hour a day for max a month
I tried it but eventually my jaw joints began hurting alot so I stopped, still got a noticably wider jaw though
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>>41567430
you could start sucking cocks
if you're too gay for that you could get one of these
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Gonna start pic related but my gym is shit and only has 2 benches and 1 deadlift bars.
What machines could reproduce the same effect of squats, press, deadlift and bench?
It's my first time, so be gentle, please.
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2 benches is fine as long as the gym is not that crowded all the time. What do you mean with deadlift bar? If your gym doesnt have Olympic bars (20kg) then just add more weight to a lighter bar
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No machine can produce the same effect as lifting with free weights
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>>41567321
Start by reading the book.
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so /fit/? how come you dont swim? you be talking all that good talk about he summerbody, bitches be laughing at yo ass when you go to the beach and just lay there all dry, picking sand out of your asscrack, in isolation. swimming lets you do the sexy walk out of the water al pumped intense stare at hoes that get you all that good pussy you want.
FACT: sea salt tastes good when fermentet under forskin for 1 to 2 hours, ive been told this numerous times.
SWIMMERS UNITE WE ARE ALL ONE WE ARE ALL WET; ALL DAY
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The end is near gentlemen and gentlemen you will not be able to access you disgusting calorie habbits that will make you scared to go swimming this summer because people will see you farting in the water like a whale, dont embaress yourself. you where born in water and it is time you return to it
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women dont want something that looks like a beast of the field,
they want an athletic astetic symetric natural man. their instincts say find a survivor and bend your knees.
not find a mutant and succ his dic,
NO come to mother nature and she will give you all. this is an completely untapped market,
black people cant swim,we have the market for our selves come join me brothers.
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Fellas, when you go to the beach with the swimming grills, and they "happen" to get stung by a jellyfish?
guess whos the hero with the perfect aim?
I'm telling you they will beg you to pull out your dick right in front of them,
and after they get stung 2-3 times it will become subconsious and they start doing it without even thinking about it.
prHOgramming works fellas. you just gotta be smart
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>nearing the end of the 5x5 starting program
>convince gf to also start it because she wants to learn to lift after watching me
>have home gym
>shes watching as i do all my squats
>get 4 reps into bench press and she sits on my lap
>pic related
>end up making out then having sex on the floor
>after sex I get up and finish the workout
>she's mad and goes home
>hasn't texted me for a day
what did she expect? did i fuck up /fit/ ? any other gains goblin stories?
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>>41567178
jesus christ dude
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>>41567178
>brapps respectfully at you
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>>41567178
You did the right thing, but you should also have not came, that's precious protein lost
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>be me
>high school junior
>been working out for a while and had gotten fairly strong
>decide fuck it and go to a football workout
>knew it would be hard but figured i had this
>We were working legs
>with speed and agility worked into it
>fuck
>started off with calisthenics
>not to hard
>then we go to forty yard dash
>run a 5.3
humiliation.jpeg
>freshman was running a 4.56
>then we go inside to do weight work
>overhead squats
>halfway through body give out
>have to switch weights infront of everyone
>then some running and blocking drills
>get bitched multiple times
i thought i was making it but apparently Im still weak and slow compared to alot of people
37 Posts / 4 Images
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oh wow! its almost like you havent trained in athlete style workouts before!
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>HS Junior
Fuck off underage
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>>41567168
you have to train unilaterals dummy or did you bunny hop the whole time? look at defrancos youtube to see how you can train
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Does looking at porn and not jerking off on a daily basis increase testosterone levels?
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>>41567097
no its just a very weird hobby
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>>41567121
Hobby? This feels like work
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might as well go all the way or not bother at all.
Anonymous
why am I not pooping? 2017-05-25 06:06:47 Post No.41567089
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why am I not pooping? 2017-05-25 06:06:47 Post No.41567089
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It's been 3 days since I took a shit. I don't feel constipated, I've been eating right, slept etc.
The only reason I realize it is that for the past 3 days I've been working 12 hour days in a situation where pooping would take effort. Me not pooping at work led me to realize I haven't at home either.
Why could it be? Despite working long days I've been eating clean, 200g of oats a day, chicken and rice, cottage cheese, about 1kg of fresh vegetables each day. Should have plenty of fiber, no? No candy or soda or other shit either.
28 Posts / 3 Images
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You are absorbing gains at breakneck pace
You are becoming the shit
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>>41567089
>1kg of vegetables
wat
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isnt this what happen when girls get pregant ??
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>someone damaged the poop scissors in the gym toliets
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>someone still thinks these threads are funny
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>>41567086
no lie, my great grandma used to have a shit knife under the kitchen sink because her oldest son's shits were so fucking huge they'd clog every toilet every time, so they had to chop up the turds to make it fit.
he was 6'6'' and allegedly ate close to 10 pounds of food a day
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poop scissors?
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What are the healthiest fats?
15 Posts / 4 Images
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MUFA and SFA
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Ghee is bullshit, but nuts are a healthy source of fat. Walnuts are especially good.
>>41567060
>SFA
*PUFA
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>>41567078
>PUFA
>healthy
I guess you didn't get the memo.
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Is sodium really important to have on your diet?
And why?
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>>41566941
so u dont cramp up
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You literally die without it.
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It's one of the main elements in our body, gaylord
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>tfw my entire life, from school to university to my first after university job has simply been following the set path laid out for me with zero initiative, and I have reached this age and see that Chads and women go up the escalator of good times and success while the conveyor belt leads to the grinder for the non Chad males
>tfw aged 26 and never had attention from women ever or done anything with them unless I paid for prostitutes
When did you realise the brutal truths about being a non Chad male? It's torture to go to work in sunny and hot days like this and see so many attractive women around my age who fuck ten Chads a day from Tider and who consider me a disgusting non chad. No, lifting changes nothing, I can squat four plate and nothing changed.
And then at work I am the loser who nobody speaks to and who doesn't go to any of the socialising events because making small talk with normies is impossible. Even extroverted normies say little to me.
And every single day I beat myself up mentally because I waste all my free time on mourning the previous 8 apathetic mourning filled years of my life.
Engaging with most culture is a rigged game. You read novels and suddenly you're told you have to read boring as fuck novels or else you're dumb. You start programming and are told you have to use academic mental masturbation programming languages or else your dumb. Everywhere you get, at best, hazing (which is acceptable) but in most cases snake oil salesmen but with self perpetuating pressure to accept their shit.
I think even normies see through the BS. We had a minute's silence for the recent terror attack, with the minute being announced by loudspeaker immediately before. Afterwards all the normies thought it was, "lel so awkwerd". Not that I was fooled, I just thought it was bs for the pol reasons I will not go in to.
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>>41566821
Wellcome to reality, and enjoy your stay.
Although this thread belongs to be in /r9k, I can tell you that many people here lift to forget, or to ease the pain of their miserable life, and some of them even make it, maybe you will be one of them too...eventually. Otherwise, thinking like that doesn't really make you any favor and you will only feel worse, even if it's the sad and harsh reality. Don't count, just do what you have to do.
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surgery you dumb bitch
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you just sound like a shitty person to be perfectly honest with you lad
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Hello, /fit/.
/Co/cksucker and /lit/tard here.Not sure if this is the right place for this topic.
I recently a job. Hard, back-breaking, pretty intense manual labour job. I am skinny fit. I have 9 shifts behind me and during the last shift I got scolded pretty hard for being too slow at certain tasks.
I wanted to ask, maybe someone here has experience, did going from not-fit to fit increase your tolerance, endurance and speed?
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>>41566631
Regarding the fact that you are pussy: get your sleeps in, eat a lot, and you'll stop being such a weak fag at your job.
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>>41566768
I am not a pussy. I don't want to quit and every single shift I am increasing my output/decreasing my time per task and I have the ambition to improve.
Just asking.
But thanks for the tips. Problem is that it's an all night-shift work and I get 6-7 hours in the 24 cycle max.
I also take Calcium/Magnesium and Fish Oil supplements.
Also bump.
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You'll gain strength, endurance ( if you do cardio ) and self discipline ( witch honestly is your problem right now).
Eat well, sleep well and workout well.
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I have a couple ingrown hairs in my asscrack after going backpacking. Can I still go running without them turning into full cysts as long as I wash that shit out with epsom salt after?
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>>41566544
Why not pop them
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are you shaving your asscrack?
If yes, stop.
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>>41566565
why?