>Sitting and thinking to myself, alone in my apartment
>Why the fuck am I dressed like this
>Hundreds of dollars worth of clothes, from muh turtleneck to muh CPs
>Realize there's a great disconnect between external and internal self
>Holy shit so luxe on the outside, so empty on the inside
>In one brash, brazen decision, set my heap of clothes on fire
>Nothing to wear during winter but a pair of shorts, sweatpants, white t-shirt, and sandals
>what have i done
>white highschool boy living in the suburbs
>see cool black boiz and their costumes
>ask mummy to buy me muh jordans
>dont even live the lifestyle, just sit in my jordans and browse /fa/
Work on yourself.
Clothes are merely material items, don't buy expensive ass clothes if you don't have the money. Designer clothes are for the wealthy. Just go Steve Jobs mode and figure out who you are and what you value.
>28 year old fashun star (5k followers on instagram)
>walk down city streets draped in rick
>look nonchalantly indifferent
>im actually trying to catch all the admirers in my peripheral
>after walking around to stunt, go back to apartment
>just me and myself again
>cook up some ramen
>oh sweet 100 likes on my latest WAYWT fit
>eat my ramen
>cry myself to sleep and dream of a life in which they accepted me
this is sound advice. but how can this be achieved realistically? serious question.
not to sound like an underaged tumblr blogger but fuck it. i've suffered from crippling depression and anxiety for years and nothing has helped. a fucked up childhood and other variables have led to A TON of self doubt in who i am as a person. when i was younger i at least felt like i knew myself somewhat, even though i was most likely just blinded by the naivety of being a kid and also constantly distracted by shitty "friends" and bad habits. but it feels like as i've gotten older and the depression has worsened some, i've fallen out of touch with who i am. like i just stopped caring about myself on a level that goes deeper then my surface. because it's the easiest thing to manipulate and it's what will always be visible to someone regardless of whether or not they know me. but that just leads to an awful cycle of ridiculous "beauty" habits and disappointments, since it's very difficult for someone with such low self esteem to feel good about any aspect of themselves, let alone the physical.
it's pretty pathetic that i've gotten to this point.
>end blog post
>tfw the rush i get after finding a nice piece while thrifting or when i get something new lasts less and less
>clothes aren't filling the void anymore
>now that i am on vacation all i do during the day is scroll through 4chan finding new threads to numb myself
>i feel like sleeping all day but i can't do that so instead i sit in front of the computer
>christmas is in a couple of days and even though it doesn't really mean anything the fact that it doesn't feel like holidays and it hasn't felt that way for me for a long time makes me feel shitty
>tfw i just lied, i don't feel shit
All i have in my life is the music i listen to, the films and shows i watch, the clothes i autistically look, 4chan for and masturbation.
You're right. It's not as simple as that. I'm only describing the ends. The means to reaching that end of not giving a shit is different for everyone. And of course, this attitude doesn't hold in all contexts.
So what I'm saying is, build character and you'll naturally learn to not give a shit. It might not ever happen, but when it does, you'll look back and chuckle at how you were.
I admit, this really is bad advice. Sorry I can't offer anything more substantial.
>be out in public (alone as always)
>see a group of friends
>"wow they all look so happy with one another and full of life"
>intense feelings of loneliness and isolation all of a sudden
>lose desire to be out
>head home and spend the next few hours/days feeling a strange mixture of anxiety, disappointment, desperation and anger
How do i fix this
Is it weird that I don't even enjoy spending time with friends. Like I would much rather go do stuff alone or go on dates with girls I meet. I don't ever have any desire to call my friends up and hang out with them. am i human
nigga you dont have time to suffer from crippling depression and anxiety when you're in a war zone
get yourself out there, no, FORCE yourself out there and express yourself as much as possible
>tfw buying things to feel the void
>tfw waiting for things in the mail gives you something to live for
i have a pair of shoes coming tomorrow and im excited but i know this feeling will wear off soon until i buy something else again
>I move to the big city for uni
>I think I'm just going to be a homebody
>Bored as shit after a day so I venture out
>Explore for hours
>Go to class a week later
>I realize it the week after when I go home
>I dress like shit
>Go to /fa/, looking to change
>Find some actual advice from some guy, bless his soul
>Get started by going to my city's Uniqlo
>For the trip, I just threw on what was sitting on the ground, now I'm embarrassed standing in this store
>I go window shopping some more, get a feel for what I want
>Finally get some cash
>I buy my first piece, a thin black bomber
>I cherish it to this day as my first step into this madness
>I change in other ways to be more effay
>Look people in the eye
>This somehow changes me on a deeper level, my dad respects me now
>I now have a feel for who I am
>I head out to town frequently
>I keep going in my pursuit of effay, slowly building my new closet and putting away my old stuff
>I begin becoming disgusted with my friend turned roommate
>He is the embodiment of what I'm running from
>He does nothing productive
>He eats and eats
>He sits there and takes up space and air
>He's made this room into a place where I can't study and relax
>I get more and more stressed, I have to take pills to sleep
>I try to restrain my anger, but it starts surfacing
>He says he's moving out, he packs up most his stuff and leaves
>I've had it
>I trash the room, I don't give a shit anymore
>He comes back a week later for his final, bringing his dad
>He shows his dad and the RA the mess I made
>I want to scream
>I want to strangle him
>But I stay quiet
>And I laugh off my hatred on /a/
>I clean up my mess and leave for break
>It's lonely at home
>There's nothing to do within walking distance
>The buses are never cleaned, they make me nauseous
>I want to go back desperately
>I want to find my place
>I want to find freedom
>Where are my friends? I don't see them.
Not anymore. When I fapped every day and cared about clothing only so other people would admire me and i would seem confident by their looks and then i could get girls, I felt empty all the time no matter what. But I feel way better now, and my view about clothing has changed too. I gotta wear what makes me feel good and what suits me, not anything else. Honestly, I feel like I care more about clothing now than I did before.
wtf is this
this isn't satisfying to read at all. all greentexts have to be satisfying. that's an unspoken rule, don't you know that anon?
im being facetious but seriously are u okay bro?
>tfw old normie friend from highschool decide to cut you off over summer
>i decide to go and make better friends
>make even more friends once the semester starts
>old friend hits u up again
>tell them you're busy hanging out with other friends
>suddenly they start talking about how they are going to go try and make new friends
>mfw i was their only well dressed friend they could talk to about clothes
>mfw their new friends are normie losers
at least i have /fa/ to talk to about clothes and new friends irl for music discussion
I wouldnt be surprised if I had this. I do sometimes try to reason with myself that everyone is shittier than I am.
>oh that guy is really smart, doubt he gets any puss
>yeah she's attractive and smart but she's probably gonna get wifed at 20 and spend her whole live in her hometown
I think my feigned confidence from convincing myself im superior is the only reason women put up with me.
>tfw old friend from highschool constantly copying you
>i buy cps 2 years ago
>now he want's cps
>buy mono docs 1461
>he buys doc 1461 but with the ugly yellow stitching cause he's a pleb
>buy apc denim
>"wow anon where did you get those?"
>"o-oh okay ill just wait for a sale"
>he buys apc denim
i'm not telling him shit about anything else im coping what a fucking biter
Okay asshole. Whats the problem here? other than you think the only thing that makes you special/valuable is the shit you own and you are afraid he will be taking it away from you?
I try to actively humble myself. I try to stop dominating conversations and at least try to appear interested in the other person even if I'm not. Then I realize the only reason I do this is because in the end it makes them and keyword, me, feel better.
Maybe I've just intellectualized it too far. I wonder, isnt this what drives people regardless of them being conscious of it? Socializing for the sake of survival as ultimately we still are social creatures.
you're right but i don't see anything wrong with what i did
if your old friends ditch you over something stupid and you decide to go make better friends how is that wrong
>Whats the problem here
honestly it's just fucking annoying
how is that not obvious
>only thing that makes you special/valuable is the shit you own
>honestly it's just fucking annoying
but why? no reason? or is it the one I mentioned that you are denying and saying I am projecting?... Shit that makes me special and valuable is that I am in the top 2% of my engineering class, I am a competition winning backcountry skiier, I travelled the world as a kid, I genuinely value people and they enjoy my company for that reason, and I have many other intellectual interests that allow me to connect with almost 100% of people I meet on some level. What about you?
>but why? no reason?
why am i annoyed that some copies everything i buy? is that really something worth digging deep into?
imitation can be flattering at first but after a while it feels unsettling
Do you not see how you can't even answer a simple question? "why?"
Imitation is literally the highest form of flattery. So much so that it is a fucking QUOTE.
Do some introspection friend. Just because I insinuated something earlier doesn't make it true, unless it really IS. Maybe you are mad at him because of what I said, or maybe it is for another reason. Either way it is illogical, unproductive, and negatively impactful to your emotional well being to be mad at meaningless shit. He is your friend. Do you know what it means to be a friend?
Maybe you are just young. The only reason I care is because this shit happened to me in high school and when I got older I felt really bad because I was bitter towards someone who I could have been way better friends with and now regret my idiocy. The funny thing was though that he was the better looking one of the two of us and so he would be the only one getting compliments and credit. And I realized I was just jealous and insecure in the end. I still have yet to come to terms with not being attractive but maybe some day I won't give a shit.
i don't see anything wrong with being proud of whatever style you managed to develop on your own and seeing someone mimic you feels like they are trying to take that without doing the time you did to create it yourself, even if it's mostly meme clothes or whatever
also that doesn't mean i don't have anything else to value about myself
how you came to that conclusion is beyond me.
but that sucks what happened between your friend, but honestly my "friend" i don't care about keeping around honestly, he's not a great person. if u see here >>12072159
i really only consider them as an acquaintance at this point in my life.
also it's the exact opposite situation for me, he really cannot pull off majority of the things he tries to copy from me so i just get second hand embarrassment for him
he shops at too many fast fashion stores with ill fitting clothes and his proportions in general are terrible
Let me elaborate. This guy was the kind of guy that would watch Twitch cancer and play DOTA till 3AM and laugh and voice chat and eat shit loudly while doing so. Not trying to shift blame but it really was wearing on my conscience.
I just hope I'm in a better place a few weeks from now. I need some time off.
i get it. but those people are good people too, they're just really cringe.
like you're not doing anything bad really, it's just natural for you to feel this way, god knows, but if you can get over your distaste for him you could actually be friends, you know. you're not so different, posting on a korean traffic cop appreciation board
i don't even have a grail at the moment and if i did he wouldn't be able to afford it.
that's another thing that pisses me off, his priorities are so fucked. he could and should be saving for a car or something practical but he just spends his money on clothes he can't afford instead which makes it even more embarrassing.
like wow bro sick fit how was that ride on the CDTA this morning.
Ah I see, so you see his copying as a lazy shortcut. And damn its this same guy lol? I almost feel sorry for him desu. Seems like he has a depressing life. And if he can't pull it off just let nature take its course and let him get fucked. Putting both stories together and yeah he seems like a lame person. Just drop him.
pretty much, ever since i dropped him i made way better friends
>Seems like he has a depressing life
he actually does, and i think it's pity that kept me in contact with him all these years.
i think he means that the dude did all of that in a shared 1-room dorm closet.
like two beds three feet apart, and on one of them there's this dude slurping ramen and audibly kekking at 3am
>Tfw DHL tells you your package will be delivered today
>package is still in a different state
you faggots need to start having fun
clothes are just the cinnamon you sprinkle on your life. trying to live on straight cinnamon will make you sick and sick of cinnamon
Are you so insecure you need to brag on 4chan?
I get where you're coming from but if it's a friend then who cares, something to bond over. You could help them develop their own style
Unless its some asshole then yea fuck em
Holy shit dude that sounds just like what i went through, except i moved out. he would keep me up every night playing dota and voice chatting and never had a job or anything while I did.
probably cause its true
i usually have to initiate things with friends, with my only female friend ever i had to as well, but i had fun with it i guess. and then i ruined everything lol
i have maybe 2 friends
the likely hood of it being true is very slim
i imagine you suffer fro low self esteem/maybe depression. i know i do and in the back of my mind im always saying:
>i'm not like these people
>these people dont like me
>i dont fit in
try looking up CBT, its all about re-wiring your brain to think in a more positive way, honestly you will start to see just how ridiculous you were originally thinking
>Maybe I've just intellectualized it too far. I wonder, isnt this what drives people regardless of them being conscious of it? Socializing for the sake of survival as ultimately we still are social creatures.
Exactly, some days I intelluctalize way too much about the conversation I'm having with someone, and other days I just don't give a fuck about it. It's about finding a balance.
>Nothing to wear during winter but a pair of shorts, sweatpants, white t-shirt, and sandals
I feel like this when I get the gains punched out of me by the holidays.
>I'm 15 lbs away from my goal weight
>my posture sucks
>fits will never be 100% sick until this is taken care of
>clothes will fit differently anyway
>fuck it, sweatpants every day until I'm 175 lbs and lean
It's not really low self esteem or depression for me, I'm at I would say the most positive point in my life right now. I can say that I am happy and content it's just that thought lingers and comes back every now and again.
Take what I say with a grain of salt as I'm no professional of any kind.
I recommend that you search for some pro to help you, but here's my advice.
I'll just say some shit and see if it applies to you.
Think what is the meaning of your life. As there obviously is no true meaning, you have to find your own meaning.
To do that, think about what you like and try to "copy" persons that you envy.
Why do you envy them and how to you get to the same position as them?
Btw, just envy, not jealousy or anything like that.
>i've fallen out of touch with who i am
Might be because you have no opinion of your own.
What do you think is right and wrong, what do you think is important, etc.
Why do you think it's right and wrong, I hope you can motivate, cause if you can't then you probably have the opinion because of society or something.
That's not what you think yourself.
Don't follow the herd bro.
I personally recommend reading a lot of books so you can gain perspective on things.
If you're lazy like me, just go on youtube and look for philosophy videos or psychology videos.
A very good place to start would be School of Life, they have very interesting and entertaining videos.
Dude, you seem like a guy that has never had a true friend, or you don't know what that is.
If you don't like the guy copying you, tell him indirectly or directly.
I don't have the full context but I have a feeling you can't wish for your friends the very best and hope for their best.
I hope I'm wrong.
A lot of you seem to have serious misconceptions about clothing which stem from your mind being infected by consumerism and hype.
I used to be like that. I spent huge sums on items and sold them shortly after. I've been a huge tool and didn't realise that I subconsciously tried to fill a void in myself with consumerism and by hiding in expensive garments.
Fun-Fact: Nobody gives a shit about your clothes. No, really. Nobody.
There's nothing wrong with buying designer stuff or expensive shoes etc. Just ask yourself at all times: Do you really need this? Do you really want to wear this on a regular basis? Does it fit your lifestyle? Does it represent who you are and how you feel? If you think long enough about it, you will find that 90% of the shit you urge to buy will not match these criteria. Ergo = Don't buy it.
Today I still have a Rick leather jacket, a Julius wool coat among other things. But I mostly wear cheap basics from Asos and scuffed up sneakers. The goal is to be yourself and be realistic about it, and not to play roles in a costume.
OP here, this is exactly what I've come to realize.
This so-called hobby misunderstood as "fashion" still can be categorized as a purely consumerist hobby (nothing more than TV, video games, etc). You tell yourself that it's creative, there's some thought to it. That's true to some extent but unless you're trying to design your own clothes it's just a bunch of money blown.
There must be congruity between your style and lifestyle. Techwear comes to mind. How many of these acronym ninjas actually utilize the clothing to the full extent besides posting fit pics?
I'm done with cosplaying with out-there styles.
>tfw i have 100k usd in grailed sales from selling garbage to friendless losers like you
Just remember guys, you look like an arse hole when you start talking about clothes.
>College got me feeling shitty
>Pretty much failing my courses
>Parents think I'm improving
>Not the case at all
>High aspirations in life
>Know I'm kidding myself
>Get rich have fun mentality that's completely unrealistic
>Won't get a full time job in fear of never leaving my town
>Life has lost all direction and generally just drink by myself a lot
>Not a massive fan of booze but drugs are too hard and expensive to get hold of frequently
>Thought I was close
>Led me on
>Still contact her every day
>Think because I'm fashionable people will like me more
>Spend all my money on clothes
>Rarely impresses anybody
It's a fun life being fashionable, but oh so terribly terribly miserable and depressed.
to profit off of...?
just revenue, i would say ~60k profit, ~40k of that just in the last year
not much time at all, i spend an hour or two every friday and saturday buying shit and then about 5 hours once a month to take pics/measurements and write up new listings
Obviously you're stretching and shrinking numbers to a degree, but what kinds of items are you reselling? Hypebeast fuccboi items or high end luxury goods?
And I don't believe you're making that much of a profit. You have to be buying secondhand or thrifting if you're not selling hype items.
great advice, im too poor to get really into high end fashion i usually buy a pair of expensive shoes while everything else is from uniqlo plus nice basics i get on sale
>Do you really need this?
no i never do
>Do you really want to wear this on a regular basis?
>Does it fit your lifestyle?
yes, actually i don't buy anything outlandish in fear of sticking out and it's all very casual and fitting for a uni student i believe
>Does it represent who you are and how you feel?
yea i dress pretty boring and casual
i guess im finally becoming reasonable financially although i made so many mistakes when i first started
i wish i could go back and stop my self from wasting so much money at the mall
that was when consumerism got the best of me, all i bought was garbage and it probably added up to so much.
>tfw i feel like i'm still the same person as my 5 years ago self
My parents still treat me like a 15 yr old babby, whereas i'm 23 and they're talking to a 28 yr old person like they're talking to a proper adult. While they also complain about me being childish..