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/efg/: Erotic Fiction General

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Thread replies: 372
Thread images: 89

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This is the go-to place to discuss (and produce) erotic fiction of all types, from the fap-and-go fics to porn with a substantial plot. Drawfags are also welcome- illustrated stories are the best ones! For drawing requests also check out the /d/raw thread:
https://boards.4chan.org/d/catalog#s=/d/raw

Writefags, consider pastebin/titanpad rather than dumping for your stories. You can also use 1d4chan for /tg/-related smut

You are advised to tag your stories so that people know what they're looking at. This will attract more feedback from people interested in the themes you're exploring. Consider quoting the OP when delivering. This will make it easier to find (and critique!) the new stories in a thread.

People appreciate it a lot when you give them constructive feedback and criticism, so make sure to do so. We thrive on it. Don't be afraid to speak your mind about a story that caught your attention. This will help everyone in the long run.

Requests are encouraged to promote a steady flow of new content.There's nothing like a good request to get the creative juices flowing. Try to expand your ideas - a bare-bones request doesn't give us much of a good idea as to what you want. Have fun with it! Keep in mind that it might take some time to get to yours, and each writefag is interested in different kinds of things.

Remember to post pictures when possible to keep the thread alive, but keep image dumps to a minimum so that more OC can be posted.

Requests welcome.

Wiki:
https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page

Master smut list:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ccAAmGecQiEE5ywZc4S4d1347WuMPEsF3DbSNAS4LRo/edit

Recent entries
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1i7J7K_YNvIemfZ7p4rYB7kJMdvzrqSeAuYkj_Bb9uyw/edit#gid=1806897118

Our discord channel:
https://discord.gg/vYwdHes
>>
I've looked for a while (cause NTR seems to be everywhere and it hurts my soul) now but I haven't quite found this particular idea in place, either in writing or drawings but like a NTR fail, like some dude comes home and his wife is getting railed spouting the typical "I'm addicted to his alpha cock" nonsense and the husbands like "k" and leaves his house, stops supporting her financially and succeeds in his life.

Bonus points if the alpha cucker abandons the bitch when the husband stops funding her and her life collapses even further.

Also can the update for love coils be reposted? I'm not digging through the last board for it.
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Here's a question to get the thread started.

Who among us /efg/-readers and writers has actually read 50 Shades of Grey? If so, what did you really think?

I have neither read it nor seen the films. I'd be willing to give it a shot, I suppose...
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>>7294967
>Also can the update for love coils be reposted? I'm not digging through the last board for it.

http://pastebin.com/M1By6hW8
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>>7294969
I've flipped through enough of it to tell you the obvious: it isn't BDSM, it's the abuse of a woman who is coerced while under the influence to sign a contract that basically allows a dude with a ton of power over her have even more power over her directly, covered with a thin layer of what the author considered 'fluff'. It might have been 'acceptable' as twilight fanfiction, but it falls flat in the writing, the story - everything.
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>>7294967
>>
Reposting a request from last thread
>alien space babe (star trek style) is stopping off at a space station to refuel her ship
>decides that since there's plenty of people around and she's got a few hours to kill, she'll indulge her public use fetish
>how is up to the writer, maybe a bar with a couple of the classic "ass through a hole in the wall" setups, or just bending over a bench in the public showers and writing "go ahead" on her ass in space sharpie
>she gets plowed by a bunch of alien and human dicks, of all sorts
>after a few hours and a couple gallons of semen in both her lower holes (or all three), she goes back to her ship, leaking and happy
If the writer is into it, giving the woman some slightly unusual genitals, even just something very simple like an internal clit or vestigial prostate would be really nice
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>>7294953
Hey /d/udes, for more erotic fan fictions and hentai join the official discord for hentai
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>>7295200
https://discord.gg/SNa9rgx Kek forgot to link
>>
Speaking of stories from last thread, I really liked that yeti monstergirl story, if the author shows up, do you have a link to other stuff of yours?
I was gonna post this last thread but it was literally at the bottom of page 10 when I got there
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>>7295225
Oh I didn't catch that, I would like to see that again if anyone has the link. meant to read it but didn't get time.
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>>7295225
I believe that was Silent. This is his pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/Silent_II.
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>>7295229
http://pastebin.com/vpLJc0Hy
Here
It's pretty cute and *extremely* comfy
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>>7295233
Thanks mate, I'll give some of the others a look
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>>7295239
Thanks, I'll give it a review when I find the time.
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>>7295243
>>7295241
>>7295239
>>7295233
>>7295225
>>7295229
<3

>>7295234
Your unneeded rancor is not appreciated, friend.
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>>7295234
>>7295239
I'll read it once I get out of my procrastination slump.
>>
I'd like to request a story about a guy training his slave girl to fuck so he can sell her to a brothel. Since virgins sell for more, he won't pop her cherry, but everything else is fair game.
Preferably, it would be told from her perspective, including some back story about he acquired her (broke ass parents sold her, maybe?).
>>
If any of these topics sound good, let me know and I'll elaborate. I have full requests for all of them.

Monstergirl shrine maidens.
Competitive sex.
Voluntary CBT.
Public use with traps.
Orientation play with Monsterboys.
Porn in a world where Monstergirls exist.
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2000 word update, new content at "She rubbed the moist head"

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
New tags:
>underwater sex, breathplay, assisted breathing

Remember kids, Vi is a trained professional and also a fictional alien, please don't try erotic asphyxiation at home!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>7295239
>>7295246
This is really good, one of the best things I've read on here. Loved the fluffy handjob, and I can't find any flaws in the writing or formatting. Not sure I like vocalizations to be spelled out (nnnm, oooh, aaaah, etc) but that's certainly an opinion and not a criticism. I think you nailed the 'g' in /gfd/ and it was comfy enough to make me sleepy.

Also props for providing a PDF, I'm sure lots of people appreciate that touch.

>>7293226
I'm trying to work my way through these, they're quite an impressive length, currently on chapter three of 'Her New Subordinate'. I wrote a similar fic myself so I'm interested to see your take on this flavor of writing.
The formatting is good but I feel like you could stand to use more paragraph breaks just to split it into more chunks, might make it flow a little better, but that's just a nitpick.

I'm actually surprised how much back story and effort you put into this, but I guess it wouldn't work as well as it does if we didn't know the characters well enough to see how the events of the story impact them. based on the premise I expected short fap fics but these are quite massive.

I feel like you should have tagged this more thoroughly however, the foot fetish stuff is a bit off-putting to me, though I am enjoying the other elements so far.
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>>7295299
Monsterboys are sorely lacking here.
>>
There's a cock growth thread elsewhere on /d/, where someone else posted The Player Witch Augment for their enjoyment. A few people there are asking for part 7. I might divert a little attention away from my commission to finish that one.

Anyone in /efg/ clamoring for part 7 of PWA? The working title is Bellend, Book and Candle.
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>>7295305
Okay. Here's my idea for that. Monsterboys exist, but they don't think of sex the same way humans do. They go after anyone who they're attracted to, and don't pay attention to gender or taboos against consensual sex. They act like that for a lot of reasons, but two big ones are that they're immune to STDs and don't have the same barriers to sex that people do. That especially applies to gay sex.

You could go anywhere with that concept, but the one I have in mind involves a lot of teasing.

>Human is living with a Monsterboy.
>The human isn't sure about his sexually. Mostly because he's definitely into girls, but also kind of into guys. Especially the nonhuman kind.
>Is really afraid of being gay and thinks it would be awful.
>Monsterboy isn't phased by that at all. His response is basically "Attraction is complex. Who cares what gender you're into?"
>Human asks if they could screw around sexually, so he'd know what it's like.
>"Sure, but you already know that guys turn you on. I'm going to show you how much fun that can be."
>Rather than going right to sex, the Monsterboy stars pretending the human is his boyfriend.
>Walking around in almost no clothing, flirting constantly, teaching him to kiss, and working up to actual sex.
>Tells the human he's not allowed to cum by himself.
>They also do cute boyfriend things. Especially cuddling.
>>
Yo, all of Proxy's links in the smut list are dead. Are there any other links or is Proxy's work lost to time?
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>>7295200
Is the one we've got not good enough for you?
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>>7295345
Why do people shill Discord so much?
The amount of people who have invited me to a Discord channel probably numbers on 60 at this point, the frequency of the invites makes me suspect there's some kind of financial incentive.
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>>7295348
It's like Skype or IRC, only it doesn't crash every 5 minutes or take forever to set up right.
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>>7295348
My understanding is that it's normie irc, for people too inept to google how to set up an irc client.
>>
For the critique anon from the last thread, if you need links to the story

http://pastebin.com/M1By6hW8
https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Love_Coils
>>
There was a story posted here a few years back about a girlfriend being turned into the boyfriends penis. Does anyone remember what it was called/have a link?

Thanks!
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>>7295539
That sounds really retarded.
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>>7295307
Critique for D. I only went through The Grand Futapest Hotel, but the points can easily be applied to your other stories.

Minor grammar and readability stuff first up.
>Line 19 has a full stop instead of a comma after old-fashioned
>27, "freeing her breasts and sliding them down her wide hips."
Should probably be 'sliding it'.
>29, "she got clutched"
>33, missing quotation after 'with them on'
>37, "making little gently gagging noises"
Switch to either 'making little gagging noises' or just 'gently gagging'.
Somewhere between Line 38 and Line 40, Caitlyn got off the counter, left the kitchen and moved to somewhere with a carpet. Only 'Caitlyn bent down before Selena' implies any of that.
>80, "need help help"
>150, "nor do not have 'periods"
>174, "like taking to"
>215, 'didn't make a move or something."
Different punctuation closing the phrase.
>259, "just in time to Wheel of Fortune"
Just in time 'for'.
>294, "cock has as much"
Should be 'had'.
>341, ownership of cocks is mixed up.
>458, "wouldn't never ask you"
>521, "Selena followed, but not noisily enough to not startle Layla"
>542, "Selena didn't back away"
Technically should be 'pulled away' or something, as Layla is behind her already.
>542, "bu standing"
>602, "his his fuel tank"
>610, "to might right"
>676, "standing her soaking"
>740, "Selena swamp past"

There's probably more stuff that I missed, as I kind of stopped focusing after a while, but little typos like that don't really matter to the story, so it's not a big deal.

You've heard me point out the whole 'commas in quotations before modifying actions' thing before, so I'll leave it at a reminder.

You might want to swap out some 'her's with names or other descriptors, as stuff like "Her other hand gently fondled her balls" can quickly get indistinct without immediate context. Not a big issue, but clarity is never a bad thing.

I also don't have any relevant images, so you're getting minotaurs instead.
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>>7295625
Now, onto the more impactful stuff: two things you could stand to work on: character interactions, and depictions of actions.

Given the context, a lot of the mannerisms the two main characters use, and generally how they treat each other, don't quite make sense. Within minutes of meeting Selene, Layla is already in her car, palling around like they've known each other for ages. She's randomly brought to Selene's mansion, and they eat pizza and cuddle on the couch within the hour. Two near-complete strangers. There doesn't feel like any real awkwardness that would naturally occur between two people in that situation. While that's honestly fine for a light-hearted smut story like this, as it creates an easier reading experience, it does lack a little genuineness and makes it feel more like a literate meet-n-fuck game.

Speech is also a touch stilted in parts, but speech is hard as fuck, so I can't really point out how to make it 'better'. I thought it could be cut down in parts, removing some of the obvious 'this is exposition' phrases, but that's about the extent that I can properly analyse it.

Actions, however, I can more easily focus on. Simply put, they're pretty barebones and only tell the reader what is physically happening. The actual smutty parts of your stories need to be the locus points, the culmination of each character's senses and emotions. You need to show more than what's happening, but also why it's happening and what they're feeling as they do it. It's fine in the opening, because it's cheesy, tongue-in-cheek porn, but what follows should be a reversal of that, not a continuation. The first sex scene between them is literally like 10 short sentences long, surrounded by "She kissed her, and then she kissed her some more. To follow that up, she held her head in her hands and kissed her."
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>>7295627
>Layla pressed her cock into Selena's pussy. She gasped.
>"Oh god!" Selena said.
>Layla gave it to her, Selena rolling her head, gently humming and moaning.
>About a minute after Layla had started her vigorous humping, she cried out suddenly, bucking her head back.
(Edited down to make an example, but you get what I'm saying)

I want you to make me feel what these characters are feeling. Show me the shiver running up Layla's spine as she eases herself in, show me Selena swallowing as she feels the warmth spread inside her. What do Selene's lips feel like when Layla presses hers against them? What scents does Layla notice when she moves in to kiss her? Give me a reason to read this instead of just watching actual porn.

Similarly, foreplay and (Aftplay? Post-sex? I'm not actually sure of the term) is more than kissing and complimenting each other, unless there's a conscious decision to gloss over all that.

>“Take off your shirt.” Selena commanded gently.
>Layla took off her T-shirt

Give me a little flair. Take your time with it. This is your chance to take it slow, to set the mood and give me a reason to be attracted to these people before the action really starts. The character's are obviously deeply attracted to each other, show me a little of that, show me why they look at each other and think 'Wow'. Don't just tell me how many inches of cock are poking out of Selene's skirt - it's just not enough to say "She saw her cock and was horny because of that".

Having said all that, I quite enjoyed the story on the whole. It's got a fun, light-hearted feel to it that's distinctly your style, with plenty of jokes and humorous moments that don't feel too out of place. There's enough variation that it doesn't get stale, at least so far, and it moves along at a smooth pace that doesn't get too bogged down with the nitty gritty too much. The sex - while not explicit enough for my tastes - is definitely erotic, enough to get most people off.
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>>7295004
Yesss this is the kind of shit I was looking for.
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>>7294975
Excellent. I now have diabetes and I'm not even mad.

>if he loves you he'll wake up
This TriGerED me hard man, like I get the story is vanilla and love conquers all but the friend with this bullshit threw me for a loop. If he didnt wake up it's not because he doesn't love you its because he's in a fucking coma. But that's part of an older update.

This update seems pretty solid, you've addressed at least in part the 1-dimensionalness of Amber (with her writing hobby and the one friend) she could still use some development but hey, it's pretty good for a snekgurl made for vanilla erotica. The shota still seems like... a shota house husband. Which is fine as far as character type goes but he still seems totally defined by his archetype. I understand that there hasn't been much room for character development since he was in a coma but it's something to consider as you continue to write.
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>>7294969
As a reader I haven't even touched the book, I mean I read all four of the trash that is twilight (some fuck told me i couldnt say it was shit until i read of them, so i did and guess what? Theyre shit) but I'm not going into the probable abuse that is 50 shades. Just more wish fulfillment with enough abuse/man with money to fill another niche.
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>>7295673
The guy who posted that wasn't me but thanks for your thoughts!

The coma did halt Cecil's progression a bit, but I have definite plans for him in chapter 4.

I understand Ali's reasoning isn't totally 100% logical, but Amber needed the hope it gave and it's something you gotta expect with a very sappy love story. Though I won't dismiss your opinion
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>>7295436
Not the guy you're aiming for, but I might be willing to give some editing for Love Coils. I have finals in about a week, so don't expect much to be done before then.

>>7295303
Hey Snek, what sources do you use when you were researching snakes? Mind sharing them?
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>>7295804
If you want, I'm more looking for thoughts and general story feedback rather than grammatical feedback
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>>7295804
Mostly just webpages through Google, Wikipedia and the like, I researched shedding on pet forums and by watching Youtube videos. .

Here's some interesting stuff on venom though, poorly sourced for the most part but it's so fitting that I had to include elements of it in the story:

Getting high on snake venom:
http://io9.gizmodo.com/5898786/can-you-actually-get-high-off-of-snake-venom

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/kerala/teenager-addicted-to-snake-venom-arrested-in-kerala/article6328195.ece

http://drug.addictionblog.org/why-do-drug-addicts-seek-snake-bites-to-get-high/

Indian Ravers using drugs with components of venom:
http://io9.gizmodo.com/5885296/ravers-getting-high-off-of-cobra-venom-in-india

http://gulfnews.com/news/asia/india/cobra-venom-drug-popular-on-delhi-party-scene-1.982082

Some hippies talking about the history of snake venom as used in rituals and rites:
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?35635-Snake-venom-and-veneration

It's quite fascinating stuff, there a VICE video about it floating around somewhere, of course.

From what I can find, there's a component of snake venom found in species of certain 'naja cobras' called cobratoxin, which is a neurotoxin that has hallucinogenic and paralytic properties. You can smoke it, ingest it or administer it in small doses through bites. Thing is snake venom is incredibly expensive assuming you're not just letting a cobra bite your arm, so the pills and drinks that use it as a component are high grade stuff.
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>>7295879

God damn. Vi should start selling her venom to XCOM, she's make a killing and think of the combat drugs they could make.
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>>7295204
Expired...
>>
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Hello /efg/. First time posting here.

I was wondering if someone could type up a story for me?

One where Osaka from Azumanga Daioh engages in one or more of the following kinks/scenarios?

1. Hairy armpit worship, give or receive.
2. Foot worship, give or receive.
3. penis+balls futa sex with "normal" vagina girl, give or receive.
4. Smegma worship, give or receiving. OR,
5. Farting on other girls, or getting farted on.

Plot can be something like Osaka's raging teenage hormones getting the better of her in the locker room with the other girls, or something like that.

I'm not too concerned over a plot, I;m just here for smut!
>>
Ok, I got a weird request and I was wondering if you guys could give me some ideas on how to go about it.

the pitch can be basically summed up into "out-of-body experience masturbation session", as in guy "dream/projects/whatever out, can feel whatever he does to his real body, decides to to do sexual stuff from an outside perspective.
>>
>>7295584
>stop liking what I don't like
>>
>>7295879
Reminds me of a buddy of mine telling me about how his unit's terp would smoke scorpions to get high
Crazy shit
>>
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>>7295625
>>7295627
>>7295633
>I also don't have any relevant images, so you're getting minotaurs instead.

Cool.

>She's randomly brought to Selene's mansion, and they eat pizza and cuddle on the couch within the hour. Two near-complete strangers. There doesn't feel like any real awkwardness that would naturally occur between two people in that situation.

I can definitely see that. I hope I can reconcile why Selena chose to do this when the time comes to reveal it.

>Actions, however, I can more easily focus on. Simply put, they're pretty barebones and only tell the reader what is physically happening. The actual smutty parts of your stories need to be the locus points, the culmination of each character's senses and emotions.

The very first sex scene between Layla and Selena is deliberately as short as possible and described as sparingly as possible because it really is just Layla humping away at her favorite porn star and losing control in about a minute. More words are given to the act in retrospect, when Layla is reeling from what she's done. The huge length I went to describing Layla's turmoil at screwing up at the studio is longer to give it the weight she's feeling and the storm of negative thoughts in her head.

I'm actually very glad you've pointed this out, because I think it'd be a good idea to expand their sexy-time descriptions into more florid loving details as their relationship blossoms. I'm more a 'less is more' erotica writer, and I leave the details to the depth of the reader's comfort.

Unless I'm actively trying to be dirty or gross, which... sometimes I am. But not this time.

PWA is meant to be weird and gross, but the Grande Futapest Hotel is meant to be sweet.

Thank you very much for reading and critiquing. I will keep this all in mind for the future.
>>
>>7295436
I rather seriously underestimated how much of this there is, and only managed to get through the prologue and chapter one. Due to the length and the number of comments I've made, I would prefer to move this to email, if that is alright by you. This is going to take a long time by post.
>>
>>7296726
sure

I do have a google account for my writefag stuff

[email protected]
>>
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Smaller update to Snek 4 today, mostly cleaning up earlier scenes and adding stuff.
I'm optimistic about getting it all wrapped up tomorrow, I'm like 2300 words off my target.
Then I can start daily updates on the Krell fic.
>>
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>>7296950
>jerrycans
Huh, never heard them called that before. Everywhere I've been they've just been called gas or fuel cans.
>>
back from the previous thread. i only posted the one thing last time and i'm not at all satisfied that pastebin doesn't carry over formatting. with that in mind, i COULD link what i've written through my gallery on Eka's since that'll retain the formatting since i don't want to bother with reformatting every little thing, or i could just bring up some of the stuff i'm in the process of writing, summaries and ideas and stuff. it's all the same three characters from the other one--Yusuke, Reina, and Mitsuki--in different stories with different outcomes to each; i basically have it that, after a certain point (before it starts gettin' really out-there with size-changing and age regression and vore and unbirth and stuff) everything i write for this is alternate versions of each other rather than it all necessarily being one continuous story

so what does everyone think: simpler summaries, or linked in their entirety?
>>
>>7296965
They're called that because the basic design was invented by the German army during WWII. The Allies captured many during the war and made heavy use of them (they eventually manufactured their own) since they were so damn useful and convenient for mechanized warfare.
And "Jerry," of course, was one of the names the Allies had for the Germans -- German, Jerry, get it? -- hence, "jerrycan."
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Anyone remember the name of the story with the mantis Monstergirl and the runaway man who escaped the pseudomafia? I'm trying to find it but I've had no luck thus far.

Monster girls who start out cold or even hostile but warm up over the story are just Mmmmm great.
>>
Tags: foot fetish, asshole fetish, feet + ass smelling, hs dxd

Here is the first chapter in a Highschool DxD fic I have been working on for a little while.

If anyone is into those things, feedback would be appreciated!

http://pastebin.com/xbPckN59
>>
>>7297322
Didn't read it. Probably sucks.
>>
>>7297294
Wasn't that one on literotica? I think it's actually on the master list
>>
>>7296988
If it helps, the wiki allows more formatting options. I assume you used microsoft word judging by the font reference?
>>
>>7295307

Long time since I last checked here. Glad to see you are still doing work.

I have to say I really like the Grand Futapest story, but I do agree with the other anon on his points. I did sometimes feel the it was hard to know who did what, like he said I think it would be nice if you used their names sometimes to make it easier to see who did what.

I really liked the idea and the "sweet" setting.

I think anon pointed out most grammar mistakes but what I found was that somewhere Selena was named Serena.

Personally I would rather you continue on GFH or G4E for that matter than PWA. I like them all, but PWA feels more finished while the others needs more especially GFH. I want more G4E just because I like the setup and characters.

Also really glad that you made a pastebin with all your stories. Would it be to much to ask to have a date of the latest update?
>>
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>>7297763

Fixed the "Serena" typo. Somehow, my typos turn into other words, like when I make an adjective an adverb by adding a Y. It makes my writing incredibly tiring to proofread because none of them are picked up by spell-check.

GFH is moving forward one way or another. That's what I'm currently being commissioned to write.

I have a chapter of PWA half-written that I might be able to squeeze out sometime soon, while not neglecting work on GFH. (I plan on making PWA run for thirteen episodes, all about five or six thousand words, but if I need extra chapters to wrap it up, I won't sacrifice the story to get it in that witchly number of thirteen.)

My G4E fanfiction... I actually have a lot of the final part written. I just need to find time to make the ending concrete and review it all before it goes out. That will probably take up the spare time freed up with PWA7 is finished.

Thank you very much for reading. I'm glad people are enjoying it.
>>
Been gone for a while(busy with school and work). Have a story I started and had plans for back them, but don't really feel like writing it anymore. Feels bad to just leave a story, considering I basically know everything that's gonna happen in it
>>
>>7297880
*back then
I'm so fucking good at spelling
>>
>>7297692
Viridian Ninja in the master list. It's pretty nice.
>>
>>7297751
yup. i do all my writing in it.
>>
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FINISHED

Final word count is 70,197.
I've split it into ten chapters.

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
Final tags:
>Viper, XCOM, lamia, aliens, long tongue, kissing, size difference, light bondage, large breasts, biting, scratching, femdom, gentle femdom, aphrodisiac venom, breathplay, underwater sex, oral, vaginal, bathing, massage, tailjob, abs, sweat, creampie, skin shedding

Gonna do some more editing passes and make sure the commissioner is happy with everything, then I'll make the Ebook.
>>
>>7298828
in 1020 you got a bit too happy withe space bar
>>
>>7298871
Thanks for the catch!
>>
>>7298875

I forget, what's left to do now on the list?
>>
>>7299019
I'll be starting daily updates on Highway to Krell tomorrow, then your commission is up.
>>
>>7299022

Hell yeah. Did you ever decide on how much ass th krell are getting?
>>
Anybody write TF/TG? Willing to do some sketches to go along with it if it's good.
>>
>>7299040
More or less, just been looking for example art so I have something to show the artist.
Not found anything that jumps out at me yet.
>>
Haha, I can imagine it being annoying, I'll try to contribute in what little way I can with that. But I'll leave the actual grammar to those who are good at that.

I see, so I can look forward to lots of that then. :)

Nice, I can't wait for the G4E update, well if I am to going to be honest, I like any update you make.

Also how long is GFH going to run for? 1 week in their world or something like that?
>>
>>7297931
Thanks man. I really do like that one. Definitely in my top 5
>>
>>7299196
You realize you have reply to other posters, right?
>>
>>7299535

Yeah I know, the app I'm using must have fucked up.

Thanks for the heads up though.

>>7297809
Reply here.
>>7299196
>>
You guys know that a lioness can mate a 100 times a day while in heat? https://lionalert.org/page/reproduction-and-offspring
>>
>>7299858
Which is strange, given the average male lion spends 14 hours a day fast asleep. When do they even get the time to mate that much?
>>
>>7299905
There can be up to 3 males in one group, normally they are brothers, or maybe they just nap a lot. It says sex last about 21 seconds and they have sex in 17 minute intervals
>>
>>7299907
That explains a lot.
>>
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I would be much obliged if somebody could link me a fic or two of this type. Sexy aliens learning about human anatomy are a surefire way to make me diamonds. The cuter the better.

Explicit would be preferred, but I'll take anything I can get. Thanks in advance.
>>
>>7300040
Global rule 3.

Snek's stuff probably fits that bill if you don't mind femdom, though his stuff is more about humans exploring alien anatomy.

http://pastebin.com/dHd9iFCN
>>
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/user/DASQ/21502/Futadomworld-James-Redman

I'm working on a story in the futadomworld setting. How is it?
>>
>>7300104
It's weird. I love dominant futa on male but somehow every single futadomworld story annoys me.
>>
>>7300108

Its main conceit IS fetishized tyranny. I do kinda get that.
>>
>>7300074
>>7300070

I assumed it wouldn't count since it's not actually porn.

Thanks though.
>>
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2000 word update, new content at "The group left the building and took a right"

Highway to Krell:
http://pastebin.com/hE1muHCb
>no tags yet

Still 50/50 on lizard tits, gonna have to make the call soon.
>>
>>7300157

With how easily the krell change gender, why not both? Some do, some don't, dependant on genetics/ancestry/diet
>>
>>7300173
Well the issue is finding a biological justification for giving lizards tits.
"Because they're aliens" is too much of a handwave, and if I give them for example, fat storage on their chests then the males are probably gonna have it too. Same with stuff like venom sacks.
They lay eggs so they don't need to nurse their young, and I can't find any milk producing reptiles or amphibians besides a species of wormy thing (scientific term) that turns the outer layer of its skin into baby food.

I guess a possibility would be having the males and females distribute fat differently, resulting in the female gender having larger fat pockets on the chest than the males. That seems kind of flimsy though.
>>
>>7300187
Egg laying and breast feeding are not linked. Eggs are about pregnancy, once the thing hatches it would be entirely possible for it to be breast fed. There are mammals that lay eggs, two of them if I recall correctly, but I'm not sure what they're called in English.

But if you don't wanna go for that, many species develope seemingly pointless even dangerous characteristics to attract a mate. A peacocks tail for example. On Earth this is more common in males as they do the courting, but there is a species of beetle where females must impress the males, the heavier the female is the more eggs she has for the male to fertalize.
>>
>>7300187
Basically I'm saying they could be egg sacks
>>
>>7300187

I personally don't see anything wrong with the fat distribution being a part of distinguishing gender, that's believable for a number of reasons and science wise egg-laying doesn't care about breast feeding anyway. (IIRC there are mammals who lay eggs)
>>
>>7300157
>>7300187
That's why they have large hips/ass to make up for the lack of tits. Plus, the reptile anatomy plays into the humans on the pinwheel not having any idea about the krell and how they work.
>>
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>>7300201
>>7300219
I see what you're saying, but the way they've been letting the juveniles run riot all over the station and the number of young pretty much precludes a powerful maternal bond that breast feeding would require.

>>7300204
Egg sack tits? That's an interesting angle, is there any precedent for something like that in nature?

I might just go half way and have the females have differently distributed fat, they could have pudgy bellies and chests without necessarily needing to have fully developed cans. Just a little something to give them a more appealing figure without going all the way.

Also I've been toying with their reproductive system and I'm not 100% sure on eggs yet. I had some ideas that would let the males ejaculate a kind of frogspawn, basically jelly and macroscopic embryos, which would be real fun for the Krell on human female scenes.
So perhaps:
>when in heat the male produces embryos in an internal egg sack
>part of his motivation for breeding is expelling them because the swelling can become uncomfortable
>ejaculates the mass of jelly into the female
>embryos gestate in the safety of the female's womb until they're strong enough to survive outside
>female births them as tiny lizards

That sound plausible? Or I could go with eggs, and just have the Krell ejaculate be weird in some other way that would make those scenes novel. Have it be jelly or macro-sperm or something.
>>
>>7300246
there are several reptile species that give birth the live young too
>>
>>7300246
No, I'm not aware of any species that has egg sacks on their chest.
Fyi this >>7300204 and this >>7300201
are me.

Like I said it could also be simple something the males find appealing, surviving with lumps hanging on your chest would be more challenging, thus showing strength if one is able to survive. But I think your half way thing, maybe the way to go as any explanation is going to feel shoe horned.

Closest thing to novel "ejaculate" I can think are seahorses. The males sperm being a tadpole of sorts raises questions of the females genetic contribution to the young.
>>
>>7300104

Read the first chapter. Not bad. Kinda weird.
>>
>>7300278

Ha thanks.
>>
>>7300157
Say No to Lizard Tits!
>>
>>7300157
You've already done enough titty monster stuff, I say no gatortits
Also I will be EXTREMELY disappointed if nobody in this story has a cajun accent.
How could you possibly have gatorfucking without cajuns?
>>
>>7300157

Alright, I have a bunch of comments floating in my head but I wanted to say this one before I forget:

Youve got a whole lot of action descriptions as super flat details that sound like you're just reading off of a list. Stuff like this line:

>She wondered how their barracks might differ from those of the human troops.

Is flat and boring. For that example I'd try something more fun like a quick description of an actual example she thinks of.
>>
>>7300384

Nightmare mode: Cajun accents are only on the gators with tits due to human DNA being the reason either of those exist on krell at all
>>
>>7300246
I'm against making the semen too much like oviposition stuff, which what you're describing veers very close to.
In all honesty I think making their cum TOO weird would kinda make it less hot and more just odd
>>
>>7300395

I'm in favor of odd, it's a nice change of pace with snek's stuff
>>
>>7300246
What were thinking of in terms of krell mating habits? You've done two flavours of generic hyperpromoscuity so far and the somewhat sketchy psudomonogamy of the polars
It might be nice to make the krell the sappy monogamous ones just for a change of pace
>>
>>7300412
Given how warm humans are a scaly tank being cuddly towards humans would be cute. There's also a species of lizards that when mating season comes around they will go out and find the same mate they've always mated with each season.
>>
>>7300420
>There's also a species of lizards that when mating season comes around they will go out and find the same mate they've always mated with each season.
That's adorable
I definitely want this for the krell now
>>
>>7300395
I already did "huge weird dicks" so I thought I might need a new angle. They will have blue dicks though, so there's that.

>>7300386
Ok i'll try to clean that up a bit.

>>7300412
I dunno about monogamous because I want to do some orgy/mating ball stuff, but I was thinking their heat could make them into kind of 'happy drunks' who are super pushy and touchy but not aggressive about it.
Like if a female Krell is in heat around a human she'll be doing her best to attempt clumsy seduction and she'll be showing off her assets and trying to goad the target into breeding with her.
>>
>>7300441
I could imagine how bad it'd be going swimming with krell when they're in heat
>>
>>7300441
>I dunno about monogamous because I want to do some orgy/mating ball stuf
I mean, they could do both.
There could easily be krell who are sappy absolute monogamists, and krell who are not, and the two simply don't interact with eachother sexually. It would also allow interesting dynamics with the humans
>>
>>7300441

>and she'll be showing off her assets

Your mind says you don't know if you want lizardtits, but your heart has already chosen.
>>
>>7300441
>but I was thinking their heat could make them into kind of 'happy drunks' who are super pushy and touchy but not aggressive about it.
>Like if a female Krell is in heat around a human she'll be doing her best to attempt clumsy seduction and she'll be showing off her assets and trying to goad the target into breeding with her
Eh. It's a bit repetitive, to be honest
>>
>>7300157
No to gatortits. Young from eggs don't breastfeed because of the yolk, and the mammals that do 'lay eggs' will not be sexy to you, because they don't have breasts in the traditional sense anyway, they have weird openings in their skin inside the pouches they finish gestating their babies in, because 'hatched' mammals are essentially helpless and need to finish developing in a pseudo-womb. You wanna fuck a pouch and suck on some skin? I mean, it could be your fetish, but it's not going to be for a lot of people.

Secondly, no breasts as sexual dimorphism. It won't work for reptiles, and it sure doesn't work for more evolved mammals. In nature the ones that have to display are males, because if a male fucks up and gets eaten it's no big loss to the species as a whole, another male can step into his territory and fuck the females there.

Don't the Krell change gender anyway? I don't even want to know how that will factor into this. But really, no. No gatortits. Live with it.
>>
>>7300496

Do remember that Krell are aliens who look like reptiles, not actual reptiles. They don't necessarily follow the same rules earth reptiles (or any animal at all for that matter) do
>>
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>>7300503
>oh they're SPACE REPTILES not NORMAL REPTILES
>but they still want to cuddle because they get cold and humans would be so warm compared to them
>and mating balls
>and they have scales
>and they lay eggs
I'm sorry but that doesn't help and didn't actually go against any of my arguments as to why to not give them tits. Putting tits on the Krell is stupid, they have no reason to breastfeed, especially not from their chests. If it lays eggs and hatches fully formed babies, no tits needed. If it lays eggs and hatches half-formed babies, pouch and some kind of milk device in pouch needed. If it's laying eggs, and the eggs are so shitty that the babies that hatch from them need additional mothering beyond a watchful eye and some guidance, they might as well have gestated them within.
>>
>>7300513

Again, they may have many similarities to earth reptiles but that doesn't mean they are the same. Snek also said he doesn't know if he wants them to lay eggs yet, so you probably shouldn't assume they do.
>>
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>>7300524
Then we probably shouldn't assume they come with tits, but instead great big air sacs like frigatebirds that only males have and they use them to scream.
>>
>>7300246
>>7300441
Thinking about it, I think the krell not giving a shit about the baby krell doesn't seem like it fits them to well
What might make sense is that while any given full-grown krell doesn't have any special protective interest in any given krellette, as a whole adult krell are very protective of the small ones as a whole, and the reason they're just letting them run free is that they consider the station safe for the small ones.
Like, if a human deliberately hurt or killed one or especially several, they'd go DEFCON 0 on the warpath about it
It would also help make them distinct from the borleans in that regard, which they could use
>>
>>7300530

I'm not assuming they come with tits you silly goose. Personally, I want to see both options, but I'm not going to assume either one will happen based on any evidence because we don't have enough yet

Your idea is pretty hilarious and awesome though, because now I can't not think of a krell getting its air sac breasts squeezed and making a clown horn honk.
>>
>>7300441
I'm gonna vote against lizardtits, because DFC+thicc ass is the most powerful combination in the world
>>
Favorite mind control or hypnosis stories? Or time-stop or time travel.

My current read is still pretty good. Groundhog Nights by Chase Shivers. A single father gets caught in a timeloop and starts to get feelings for his 15 year old redheaded tomboy daughter. The main love interest is good and lots of fun side action.
>>
>>7300441
All female and mostly female humanoids need big tits. No tits means not attractive.
>>
>>7300441
>blue dicks
They use hemocyanin or something similar, then? Might be interesting to show the effects of apparently monstrous sophonts with comparatively inefficient circulatory systems. More about quick anaerobic bursts than extended activity, which somewhat fits with your use of them as linebreakers.
>>
>>7300441
You know how most female animals have some way to show others that they are ready for mating? Maybe give them tits whenever that's the case. Tits justified.
(Also have them always in heat)
>>
http://boards.oce.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/contest-fan-fiction/GWZ8anEO-skins-story-slam-fanfiction-contest

So guys, anyone have submissions planned?
>>
>>7300759
Well, considering this is a smut thread, and they don't want smut submissions...
>>
>>7300767
Has that ever stopped anyone here before?
>>
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>>7299056
I have lots of ideas/pitches for stories, but no will to write prose.

Recently been thinking about Alp TGTF, based on >>7295390, wherein a guy's girlfriend is accidentally bonded with an Incubus, and their continued couplings begin to convert the guy into an Alp.
>>
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>>7300187
I say include the tits, so there can be a scenario where Krell guy flips genders and has to hide his newfound appendages from his best friend, despite newfound urges to offer herself to him.
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There's a lot of people who enjoy Monstergirls/boys on here, have any of you ever considered taking it the other way?

Making them genuinely monstrous, to human eyes at least, whilst still being sentient? Pic related, sorta.
>>
>>7301379
I do want to write something with an ugly/monstrous being, but haven't been able to think of a story for it
>>
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>>7301388
How ugly/monstrous are we talking?

From a scale of 1 (xenomorph) to 10 (meandraco).
>>
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>>7301390
Prolly a... 3, kinda of a matter of taste this
>>
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>>7301379
I did one about a Wraith from Evolve, that was a lot of fun.

http://pastebin.com/iRx9imEh
Tags:
>femdom, rape, bondage, obscene kissing, messy, saliva, oral, vaginal, large breasts, bodily fluids,feral, size difference
>>
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>>7301397
You want it to be about a katakan, or just something resembling it in terms of looks?

>>7301404
I never got why people go so crazy for that thing. It's got thighs, big deal. It's like why people get so worked up over wanting to fuck xenomorphs. I like the idea of their lifecycle, and fiddling with parts of that (hence Unwanted Encounter and that other story I did that nobody's read), but I never found the creatures themselves attractive.
>>
>>7301410
Katakan or something resembling one, either one. I really haven't given this that much thought, it's kind of reference shot, so you'd get on idea of what I was thinking of
>>
>>7301414
Yeah, I getcha.

I guess, unless there's a request you want to fold this into somehow, a good place to start would be determining why you like this creature (or the attributes of the hypothetical creature) in the first place, savvy?
>>
>>7301410
The Wraith is just one of those "what were they thinking" moments. The way it moves and the hips/thighs they gave it are undeniably sexual. If you look at trailer footage from the game it's just constantly gyrating its hips and thrusting.

As for Xenomorphs, H.R Giger's artwork is steeped in sexuality, I went to his museum in Switzerland and they have a whole adults-only section full of weird bondage porn he drew. Much of his art prominently features naked women, covered in machine parts or otherwise.
I'm not personally into xenomorphs, but I get the appeal, they're basically a walking rape metaphor covered in phallic imagery.
>>
>>7301425
Look at 'em claws, that grabs a hold of ya you dead m8. So if you wanna live through the encounter you'd have to let it happen. Also as vamps eat people, it would be toying with it's food, so it'll prolly still kill you after. There's no softness to the creature so any pleasure for the vic shouldn't be expected
>>
>>7301428
>I'm not personally into xenomorphs, but I get the appeal, they're basically a walking rape metaphor covered in phallic imagery.
I know. There's a lot of Giger's work that gets posted on /xeno/, and I think there was at least one thread on here solely about his art.

Guy was a nutbar genius of the best kind.

>>7301431
Well then. We've got fear, from realising it could quite easily tear you to shreds, dub-con from deciding it's better to be raped than ripped apart, possible bloodplay/unconsciousness as it starts on the blood drinking thing...

Sounds like you have most of a story to me already.
>>
>>7301428
Don't most people consider face huggers to be vaginas though?

>>7301439
I guess, but only one chapter. Not enough for a full length story, which is what I'd prefer to do, cause I like other people have a hard on for world building and character development. (these people are into some weird stuff)
>>
>>7301453
Yeah, but that's more an element of forced/unwanted pregnancy, again a theme of rape.
>>
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>>7301453
>I guess, but only one chapter. Not enough for a full length story, which is what I'd prefer to do, cause I like other people have a hard on for world building and character development. (these people are into some weird stuff)
Eh, don't feel pressured to try and make your story into something it's not. Goodness knows I've made that mistake before now.

Just make it a one-shot, just to see how it goes. Perhaps you'll be inspired and want to do more. You never know, right?

>>7301455
Presumably why I enjoy that part so much. Pic related.
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>>7301455
true

>>7301459
I wouldn't say I feel pressured to do a long story, more like I want to do a long story. Starting a story as a one shot and then continuing it, might not go well. There could be details in the first bit that won't work in the long run, which I didn't think through cause I thought it was only going to be that one chapter
>>
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>>7301473
>I wouldn't say I feel pressured to do a long story, more like I want to do a long story.
Huh, okay. I think I see your problem, then. Not much to go on with regards to just this one beastie.

What I usually do in these situations is start pulling in other ideas I've had for stuff but was never able to use, fit them in that way.

Why do you want to do a long story, anyway? It's not exactly easy.
>>
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>>7301504
I enjoy designing it. Working through the ideas, paying attention to all the details. I like to write, I like coming up with stories. Can't really explain it, just how I am
>>
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>>7301544
Fair enough, I suppose.

I'm just trying to think of how you could get more mileage out of the same couple of things that you like about the monster, unless you can think of some more.

Getting more people for it is no problem, it can just move to new places/get driven out by the angry mob/etc.

Can you think of anything more that you could do with it?
>>
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>>7301558
An easy way to lengthen a story would be to create some sort of pregnancy scenario, but I have no idea how or if the vampires in witcher reproduce, with a self created monster it could be whatever I want. But I have pregnancies for some other stories that I've been toying with, so don't really wanna add even more of that to the roster. Hmm... Doing basically the same thing, but with a bunch of different characters would be awfully dull. I got nothing, at least right now
>>
>>7301567
Which other stories have you done?
>>
>>7301577
Nothing I've completed.

http://pastebin.com/u/Herr_Lichttrager, is my pastebin if you want to go look at the stuff I've uploaded. Comely, wanton, euphoric is my most thought out, but I haven't had time to write for quite a while
>>
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>>7301589
Hrm, right.

Presumably you have time to write now, then? Since you want to do a longer story, I mean.

I think the thing you need most of all when wanting to do a long story is, next to a good plot, a big enough setting.

Like how you can do practically any kind of story in 40k because the setting is just so damn big.
>>
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>>7301638
In about two weeks, I'll have loads of time.

The setting in witcher would be quite big, so using the setting while making my own specific characters would cut corners while still leaving me with a great deal of freedom. The ones that I abandoned for the past few months, are in original settings, so I had to do all the world creation. Which is fun, but means that I have to spend a lot of time just creating the setting before I even really start on the actual story.
>>
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>>7301658
>Which is fun, but means that I have to spend a lot of time just creating the setting before I even really start on the actual story.
Yeah, that happened to me a while ago.

I recall that the Higher Vampires (the ones that can actually take human form, like in the Night to Remember trailer) tend to be quite a bit different from generic fantasy vampires, though.

If, however, you want to keep it as the katacan, you might have some trouble prolonging it, as they don't tend to be much more intelligent than, say, predatory cats.

Which'd limit a lot of the stuff you could do with it, really.

I can see the plot working out well enough, though, the vampire moves from town to town, cities, etc, praying on the innocent, until finally it walks into the White Wolf and he makes a novelty tea-cosy out of its head to give to his girlfriend.

How to actually make what it does fresh and interesting each time would be the hard part, I reckon.
>>
>>7301698
The thing is, this started with the whole "proper ugly monster" thing and the higher vampires, even in their "true" forms aren't particularly ugly. Neither are bruxas, though they are lower in the order.

The elder vampire in blood and vine was kinda funky looking
>>
>>7301722
>The thing is, this started with the whole "proper ugly monster" thing and the higher vampires, even in their "true" forms aren't particularly ugly. Neither are bruxas, though they are lower in the order.
My point exactly. The katacans and other "lower" vampires aren't really sentient, they're really just very smart animals.

So, I said, you might have some trouble mixing things up a bit, keeping each encounter fresh, savvy?
>>
>>7301740
Yeah, I get that. If I ever do start work on this I may choose another creature as katakan was just kinda the first thing that popped in to my head when asked "how ugly". For now I'm gonna focus on the stuff I already started though
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>>7301746
Right. As I'm a slow reader and very easily distracted, d'you think you could explain what these stories of your are actually about?
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>>7301754
The unfinished stuff?

There are three that I have proper plans for, two which have had the first chapter uploaded(one of them is in serious need of rewrites).

First is the dragon one. Guy is turned into a dragon and is thought by another dragon how to live as one. Lots of inspection of dragon physiology and society is planned.

Second is a demon story (the one that needs rewriting), woman makes a deal with a demon to become his concubine for power. Plan is to eventually get to the point where she is in Hell, so have designs for how Hell is organized.

Third is, the one that nothing has been uploaded for, pair of elf twins. Some adventuring, this is really more of general fantasy story with sex in it, rather than a sex story. No incest fyi.
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>>7301770
Unless your second story idea has a hell that is similar to Agony then I'm not interested.
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>>7301770
Well, the second one sounds like something I'd be most interested in.
>>7301776
What's that?
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>>7301776
I haven't heard of this Agony thing and I doubt google with answer for the amount info I have on it. But whatever it is, the designs for Hell are fairly far along so, fair enough
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>>7301770
First one have any relation to this?
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>>7301793
If that is what I think it is. Not intentionally, I heard about that thing after I'd started work on the story. While the guy does turn into a female dragon, he turns fully into a fully female dragon. I see the similarities, but this would be more of a gender bender story than a cunt boy story.
>>
>>7301782
>>7301785
It's a first person horror game, it will come up if you search for it.
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>>7301776
>>7301921
Trailer makes me think of mr. Pickels.

I haven't given much thought to the aesthetics or the actual torture that occurs in Hell, rather I've planned the societal power structures. So it could end up in a similar place, also could not.
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2000 word update, new content at "Hey guys,"

Highway to Krell:
http://pastebin.com/hE1muHCb
>No tags yet

I made the decision to go with the DFC Krell, the females and transitional forms are going to have a soft chest, but by no means developed breasts or nipples. There'll be something to squeeze but no massive cans. That'll probably be more evident in the artwork when I get that done (just waiting for Grim's input before hiring one of the artists you linked me Shiny).

Tell me if you guys think the reproductive system is appropriate/appealing, I remember some people found cloacas gross when I wrote 'Seliphi's Prize' so I've used a modified system where the waste and reproductive channels are separated based on a sketch someone linked me.
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>>7301944
You make your own art work for your stories?
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>>7301943
Have you read "Inferno" by Niven and Pournelle? It's required reading for anyone who wants to write about Hell. It takes the descriptions of Dante from the original texts and gives them a fresh twist. It follows the story of a sci-fi writer who accidentally commits suicide and then has to escape through the nine circles.
It's a really interesting take on how a non-religious person might perceive Hell and deal with its challenges if it was real.

>>7301946
Nah I commission it from various artists.
>>
>>7301952
I've read the inferno part of Divine play... But I'll put that on my reading list, cause it sounds interesting and love books
>>
>>7301952
>Nah I commission it from various artists.
Snek sure is putting a lot into this smut
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>>7301944
Hey snek, what do you think of >>7300544 ?
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>>7301944
Fyi in paragraph 78 it says
>Krell hail from the planet Krell, of the same same, an unexplored
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>>7301961
I figure it's more responsible to spend Patreon money on art and such rather than dragon dildos and Steam games, as tempting as it may be.

>>7301979
Definitely something to consider, I've been reading more about crocodile behavior and I'm sure I'll find something that works.

>>7302008
Thanks for the catch.
>>
>>7300913
That premise sounds great to me, I love incubus/succubus stuff and alps intrigue the hell out of me since I found one fanfiction about them. I've looked a bit but never found more interesting content featuring them. I hope you get around to writing up something, even if it's a few scenes or moments from it.
>>
>>7301944
>Grims drawing Krell gals/guys
neat.
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>>7302378
He's not done with the current commission yet but I'm hoping he'll be onboard.
>>
>>7300544
>space version of pic related kills some lizards
>krell literally beats him to death with his own severed arm
I could see it
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>>7300441
What about like "empathy breasts". I'm not sure about the term but there's that thing where married men get fatter in the stomach area when their ladies are pregnant so could the krell have something like that for all sex characteristics? Clintdicks optional
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>>7301944
Not that much of an explanation of the reproductive system so far, so I won't way in on that.

I will say that it's odd that the scientists use feet. Even in the states scientists will favor the metric system. It also seems likely that in the future metric would become entirely universal for humans as there are only a handful of nations using anything else left. Maybe you're using freedom units to make it easier for those unfamiliar with metric to understand, or maybe you're unfamiliar with metric. Small thing, but it kinda bugs me
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>>7302942
*weight in
God damned...
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>>7302942
I haven't read what you're talking about, but as a scientist, I can tell you that we tend to use whatever is easiest, without concern for where those units come from. When doing math, we tend towards normalized nonsense units or metric. Technical drawings are almost always English. Anything qualitative (it's about [x] far) is English. It's a significantly easier set of units to spitball in, regardless of what system you grew up on, at least for distances and temperature.
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>>7303083
A: that doesn't address the fact that feet are on their way out
B: as someone who was raised in a society that uses metric, feet are not easier to spitball in regardless of what you grew up on. Spitball is easiest in whatever is your intuitive, your most used, system.
C: at least in physics metric is heavily favoured, they also favor kelvin rather than celcius or fahrenheit, though I dare say celcius is more popular than fahrenheit
>>
>>7303129
There has been no meaningful change in the prevalence of metric over English for decades. The few countries that use English will continue to do so. There is no push to replace it.

I should have phrased that differently. I have known a great many people (mostly Asians) who were brought up on the metric system, but prefer the use of English units for estimation. From my understanding, the driving reason is that the graduation of units is simpler. That being said, that could probably be rectified if anyone actually used the full metric system, instead of forgetting about all units that aren't milli, centi, base, and kilo. It's particularly annoying for estimating masses. Having your two primary units of measure separated by three orders of magnitude is pretty ridiculous.

I am a physicist. We all use metric (or normalized) units professionally. That doesn't mean that it's what we choose to use in daily life. Like I said in the first place, I haven't read the story in question, so I don't know the context of the measurement. I'll usually switch, based on whatever is easiest for the context. Shooting ranges are in yards, things smaller than an inch are millimeters, heights of people are in feet and inches, temperatures are Fahrenheit, really fast things are in km/h (or km/s), and the BTU can burn in hell.
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>>7303185
The instance of usage in Snek's story is a professional situation. Granted these are a doctor and a couple of different types of biologists. Perhaps I was unclear with my original comment not specifying professional context, then again it was directed at Snek who would know the context without specification.

From google there are three countries left for whom metric is not the official system. The UK appears to be an oddball as everyday usage is different from official measurements. Weird. It seems likely that with the increase in globalization and places like USA being challenged for the heart of science, (The USA certainly has been for a long time the center of much scientific research.) that metric shall rein supreme. Snek's story takes place seemingly over a century, likely a few centuries in the future, plenty of time for the change to take place.
>>
>>7302050
Patreon money is just payment for your work. So buy all the dildos you want to stick up your ass.
>>
>>7301944
Tfw no lizard boobs. Feels bad man.
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>>7303417
Someone please commission D to write some hardcore, tail-grabbing gator sex.
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>>7300701
Wow very pedo. Like the summary already sounds bad but then he starts molesting 12 year olds at the pool and oral sex to 7 year olds. Fucked up.
>>
Old /tg idea that was tossed around on WST. Warhammer 40k Request
Dark Eldar raid an eldar ship and find an Eldar woman. They are about to rape her when they discover she is pregnant. Now any pregnant eldar is a big deal no matter what side they are on so they take her to the captain. He agrees to provide for her in exchange for her becoming his mistress. Cue sexytimes where she tries being kinky by getting tied up but he thinks she is being boring.
>>
>>7304025
Hrm. I could see that working, although there'd need to be a considerable incentive for them not to, y'know, do what Dark Eldar do to her.

Prisoner exchange, perhaps? I can see the Mistress idea working, but the Archon would have to be really fearsome to avoid anyone thinking that he's going soft and trying something, y'know?
>>
>>7304067
AFAIK, it is difficult and dangerous for Eldar to get pregnant due to Slaneesh lurking around, so even DE have to be careful and being pregnant/getting someone successfully pregnant is quite the status symbol. Prisoner exchange would be good. A preggo eldar is quite the prize for exchange.
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>>7302050
I've been considering starting a patreon for my erotica and I'm curious, since you can't link paypal for nsfw ones how do you go about receiving the funds?
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>>7304129
>since you can't link paypal for nsfw ones how do you go about receiving the funds?

You can. I did
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>>7304129
Never had any problems with NSFW stuff on Paypal. At no point would they ever see what you were being paid for if it was a problem (which I don't imagine it is), as the transaction would just show up as "[email protected]" with no details beyond that.
Same goes for all the NSFW art commissions that are handled through Paypal.

>>7303083
>>7303129
>>7303185
>>7303210
I wasn't making a statement about what I think people will use in the future or anything, I just used what was convenient for me.
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>>7303417
>>7303917

Not to ruin it, but part of the joke of Lock Croc is that... once they finally do it, it's not even described. It's supposed to be more of an emotional victory than a physical one.

As far as graphic sex scenes are concerned... I have trouble writing 'straight' sex scenes. I'm not that interested in it. The futa ones just fall off my proverbial pen like the drops of precum off a well-hung futa's huge dong, sparkling like champagne and twice as valuable.

See? I didn't even have to pause for thought.

I'm not saying 'never,' but... I'm going to keep writing my futa commission for now.
>>
>>7304067
"Trueborn" eldar are rather rare, for the reasons >>7304104 brought up, and doubly so for Dark Eldar (being pregnant is a long process for Eldar, and such an extended period of weakness would require a very powerful patron for the mother to survive to bring the bebbeh to term). Most Dark Eldar are test tube babies, with being birthed naturally being a status symbol.
Part of /tg/'s headcanon is that this results in eldar, or dark eldar at least, finding pregnancy to be a HUGE turn on, following the logic that rare, status-symbol type stuff is attractive (IRL, heavier women are considered more desirable in places with little food, while in the West skinny women are attractive since it takes more effort to stay fit; or, so the theory goes).

So, following this, the Archon would find her VERY attractive, but would need to exert effort to keep her healthy enough to maintain that which makes her attractive.

ALSO, a quirk of Eldar DNA/pregnancy requires insemination on multiple occasions at important stages of pregnancy. Theoretically, this could mean an eldar could have multiple "real" fathers.

Therefore, the Archon could make this Mistress deal to get both a trophy-mistress and a son/daughter for less effort than usual. Her being willing would be an oddity in the Dark City, possibly making her even MORE valuable. In theory.
>>
>>7299196
>>7299708

How did I miss this?

It'll be roughly a week... and beyond that, I'd rather keep it a surprise.
>>
>>7304168
So say she could be halfway through(being shipped off to another Eldar for dickings) so having the Archon give the dickings could be counting coup against the other eldar
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>>7304168
Huh, now I like that idea even more. Him wanting his own mistress and potential child makes a lot of sense, although he's bound to be fighting off Haemonculi and whatnot who want to want to get their hands on his new baby-mama.

I can see there being a lot of use in this premise, actually. You've got the potential for the culture clash of the Eldar woman having to get used to life in Commorragh, potential for medical stuff with him getting her checked out to make sure she's in good condition.

Space for bondage/dub-con when he's only just got his hands on her and she's still not really accepting him yet...

I like this idea. Wondering if there's a way to work in her meeting a Wych at some point, I love me some musclegirl stuff.
>>
>>7304198
>Wondering if there's a way to work in her meeting a Wych at some point
Easy.
The Archon's actual wife IS a wych. She has no interest in getting preggers since it would require to stop fighting for a bit, but she still enjoys watching, and participating, as they go at it.
One of his closest allies is a wych who's been wanting to ride his dick for years but is too prideful to ask first, and now she's super jealous of the craftworlder.
The Archon takes the craftworld eldar to a gladiator match and notices she actually gets a little aroused watching the wyches, then arranges for a party later.
One of the Archon's rivals is a succubus. After losing a bet, she gets a to have a night of fun with the craftworlder.
The craftworlder is actually related to a wych (craftworld eldar CAN leave the craftworlds and move to the Dark City) and, being the naive thing she is, decided to visit. That's how she got captured. Once the wych finds out, she tries to get her back (since the capture would be seen as a personal insult). Maybe she has to bed the archon and please him enough to let the preggers girl go, and maybe they end up having a threesome and being fuckbuddies (with the wych constantly trying to up the ante to force the archon to agree that she's bested him, which would allow the craftworlder to go free, and said craftworlder being waaaay out of her depth by the whole affair).

And that's just off the top of my head.
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>>7304228
Awesome. Though I think maybe diversifying the cast a little bit could be needed (pic related). Too much of a good thing and all that.

Now, the CwEldar chick, what could she be? Just some unlucky sod who ended up being captured, or what? I feel as though her ending up in the Dark City via wanting to go and visit a relative might put the Archon off wanting his children to be related to her.

That kind of stupid might be in the blood, y'know?
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>>7304239
That's a good point.

First you need to decide what job the CW does for a living. She can't be a farseer or warlock, since ALL non-Harlequin psykers are kill-on-site in the Dark City. Being pregnant, she's probably not an Aspect Warrior or Guardian. Rigors of combat, and all that.
How about having her be a ship captain?

The CWEldar and DEldar joined forces against the 'nids or orks or mon'keigh or something. The Archon was impressed by how well a certain CW captain did during the battle and ambushes that ship one its return journey. He does so since he has a hard on for combat and wants to duel with a worthy foe.
He wins, and is rather surprised to find his chosen rival happens to be hot and preggers. Que mistress stuff.

Would allow for her to be a strong willed character in her own right.
Part of their deal was for the Archon to let her crew go free.
>>
>>7304264
BTW, if the original requester is here, I apologize if it seems like I'm trying to hijack the request. I just like brainstorming.
If anything here fails to jive with what you originally wanted, please say so. I'd hate to spoil your fun with my barny ideas.
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>>7304264
Why not a Corsair, then? It's known that some of the CWEldar go off to become Corsairs without moving to the Dark City, and it'd fit the rest of what you've come up with.

Although I'd think it'd be more in-character for the DE to wait until the battle was over, then swoop in on the victor. Which, in this case, happened to be the Corsairs, although not by much.

One question, how should the Mistress react to the Archon? Should be basically take her prisoner, and then stockholm syndrome happens, or would (as you've suggested) her going willingly with him as part of a deal fit better?

Wonder what sort of tone would be best for this story...
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>>7304288
>Why not a Corsair, then?
Because the OR asked for her to be a Craftworlder. You don't want to change the core idea too much.
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>>7304293
No it doesn't. Just says that he's Dark Eldar and she isn't.

Could be an Exodite going from one world to another for all we know. Or an Outcast wandering the galactic boondocks.

An actual Craftworld might well take the capture of a pregnant Eldar as an act of war by their Dark kin. There might be reprisals, escalation, and the next thing you know some canny Farseer has diverted a Hive Fleet into Commorragh's section of the webway.

Corsair is better.
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3000 word update, new content at “Don't people need air?”

Highway to Krell:
http://pastebin.com/hE1muHCb
New tags:
>size difference, maledom, sweat, muscle, long tongue, consensual
>>
>>7304272
Go wild, please. Now have images of Wych wife getting off while the CW is in labor. Warts and nasty fluids and all.
>>
>>7304131
>>7304140
Oh, huh.. I could've sworn I saw it somewhere that if you chose to make a nsfw Patreon it wouldn't let you link Paypal. Shit, I need to go take a closer look at Patreon. Thanks anons!
>>
>>7300683
seconded
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>>7304321
Well you've got my interest hooked with the start at least, going to be neat seeing if you can break your box or not with this.
>>
>>7298828
Part of me really wanted his military nickname to be a normal name "you get to be called Cal now that you've proven you're worthy of a actual name, from here on out you are no longer anon, but Cal, Fucker of snek."
>>
>>7304140
Well as I said, it's a small thing
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>>7304321
>top of the list for a thousand light years
How do they travel, to be using such massive distances? Or is just a simple exaggeration? If it is, what is the max distance that can be reasonably traveled in this universe anyway?

Nice gator mating call dealio btw
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>>7297294
Have I got a story for you.

Lock, Croc and Two Smoking Barrels
http://pastebin.com/n7wZkdNU
>tags: croc-girl, monster girl, male-on-female, public nudity, sex in public, cunnilingus, mild breath play, fingering, orgasm denial, nymphomania, exhibitionism, mild humiliation, cannibalism?, romance, lovey-dovey, menace, animal death, Florida, crime, silliness
>>
>>7304384
At one point, all my new NSFW patreons stopped allowing me to use PayPal and I had to switch over to CC. It was about the time I added Mamabliss, but I honestly can't tell you when that happened. It might only be new accounts and/or it might be accounts that are marked as NSFW themselves (like mine).
>>
>>7305172
Half of these tags worry me....
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>>7304818
Cool, I'm trying to diversify.
I think you guys are right too and I'm going to take steps to make the Krell more of a romantic race than just a sexual one, that'll likely give them more staying power.

>>7304832
The furthest I've had them travel was about 75 light years in one go, and that takes a couple of weeks. I wanted a very inconvenient/time consuming FTL method. They could conceivably go for as far as their supplies would last, but you might be right in that 1000 LY is too much of an exaggeration, I'll scale that back to 100 LY.
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>>7305254
>Half of these tags worry me....
My tag game has never been my strongest feature, to say the least.
>>
>>7294953
http://touchfluffytail.org/
Posting this because I think it might be relevant to several anons' interests. They also have stories.
>>
>>7305260
>Cool, I'm trying to diversify.
>I think you guys are right too and I'm going to take steps to make the Krell more of a romantic race than just a sexual one
Don't get me wrong, I'm not part of the butthurt crew, but I'm going to be a bit harsh here.
Snek, buddy, if that's what you're trying to do, then brother you are gonna need to either do a whole hell of a lot of rewriting or plain restart the story on a different premise.
Like, the storyline you've set up and are embarking on here doesn't work with that goal, not even a little bit. What you're setting up is a bunch of scientists getting fucked by and fucking, including as you've said a gangbang/group sex scene, which is just about the clean least romantic or empathetically involved sex encounter there is, by bunch of aliens who they don't know, can't really interact with well and have no personal or emotional connection with at all. And these are supposedly the romantic ones!
Hell, the sex scene you're just starting is a perfect example. It's literally a random fucking krell blasting fucking sonic arousal beams at a woman he's literally just met until she's so overwhelmed by his masculine sexual power that she can't help but strip down and bend over for him! That makes about as must sense as the first sex scene to introduce the alleged friendly romantic empathic race as a damn burning duck in a hurricane
That might work if the krell were supposed to be a generic Irresistible Dom race like the others, but you said you're trying not to do that here
>>
>>7305229
What's CC and what do you mean you added "Mamabliss"?
>>
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>>7305489
While that's valid, I do have some ideas. I don't think romance and promiscuity are mutually exclusive, keep in mind that Krell are aliens with their own set of values and morals.
I'm pretty confident that I can create a social system whereby they play the field extensively during heat and then enter a monogamous relationship with a partner they really connect with when they cool down. That way we can have both mating balls and scenes like the one I'm writing now, as well as more meaningful relationships later down the line. While the Borealans are rigid in the roles they can play, I want the Krell to be versatile.
I want to put a Krell love interest in the VN so I was always going to have to figure out a way to do that in fitting with their 'BFF' persona.

I'm thinking:
>heat comes every 30 years or so
>extensive mating occurs and causes a population boom
>Krell pair off with their favorite mate after the fact
>some less frenzied breeding occurs until the next mating season
>Krell who have paired off (which doesn't necessarily happen to everyone each time) fuck like rabbits when they enter heat again
>constant influx of new individuals from prior seasons keeps the gene pool fresh

If not that then something similar.
>>
>>7305540
>I'm pretty confident that I can create a social system whereby they play the field extensively during heat and then enter a monogamous relationship with a partner they really connect with when they cool down. That way we can have both mating balls and scenes like the one I'm writing now, as well as more meaningful relationships later down the line
Different anon here, I think I like anon's suggestion that there are different groups of krell who each thing, rather than all of them working both ways. This just feels too much like a setup for a MY BREEDING INSTICT CAN'T BE DENIED OR SATISFIED BY JUST YOUR COCK NTR story for my tastes
>>
>>7305540
Not the Anon you responded too.

If you're gonna do that then you NEED to make a story that has a Krell fall for some dude but the guy just doesn't want to pursue a relationship with him/her.

Also >>7305489 gave a really good example that you didn't really respond to.
>Hell, the sex scene you're just starting is a perfect example. It's literally a random fucking krell blasting fucking sonic arousal beams at a woman he's literally just met until she's so overwhelmed by his masculine sexual power that she can't help but strip down and bend over for him! That makes about as must sense as the first sex scene to introduce the alleged friendly romantic empathic race as a damn burning duck in a hurricane
That might work if the krell were supposed to be a generic Irresistible Dom race like the others, but you said you're trying not to do that here
This^ deserves an answer
>>
>>7300246
>when in heat the male produces embryos in an internal egg sack
>ejaculates the mass of jelly into the female
>embryos gestate in the safety of the female's womb until they're strong enough to survive outside
>female births them as tiny lizards
Wasn't that how one ancient Greek philosopher thought human sperm worked? That's hilarious
>>7305540
If you're trying to make krell versatile, I think it would be better to make them more diverse, especially sexually-romantically rather than making them as a whole do random group sex AND monogamy. Like there should be krell who've ridden out every heat of their lives with their one and only and those who've always been 100% mating ball 100% of the time, rather than all of them being the same and doing both
>>
>>7305540
>I do have some ideas. I don't think romance and promiscuity are mutually exclusive, keep in mind that Krell are aliens with their own set of values and morals.
>I'm pretty confident that I can create a social system whereby they play the field extensively during heat and then enter a monogamous relationship with a partner they really connect with when they cool down. That way we can have both mating balls and scenes like the one I'm writing now, as well as more meaningful relationships later down the line. While the Borealans are rigid in the roles they can play, I want the Krell to be versatile.
But they aren't versatile became they're still locked into the "heat time better fuck five hundred random krell and then go back to giving a romantic shit about individuals" cycle
Once, just once I want sexy aliens WITHOUT mandatory promiscuity as a major part of their culture. I was hoping for that with the krell, but I guess no such luck
>>
>>7305573
>This just feels too much like a setup for a MY BREEDING INSTICT CAN'T BE DENIED OR SATISFIED BY JUST YOUR COCK NTR story for my tastes
To be fair all of snek's species are basically custom-made for NTR even if he doesn't say or even notice that. It's not just the krell
>>
>>7305540
>I do have some ideas. I don't think romance and promiscuity are mutually exclusive, keep in mind that Krell are aliens with their own set of values and morals.
>I'm pretty confident that I can create a social system whereby they play the field extensively during heat and then enter a monogamous relationship with a partner they really connect with when they cool down. That way we can have both mating balls and scenes like the one I'm writing now, as well as more meaningful relationships later down the line. While the Borealans are rigid in the roles they can play, I want the Krell to be versatile.

They really aren't versatile if they have something as arbitrary as a heat cycle
>>
>>7305587
Well I did answer the question, I'm trying to make them versatile so they can fill both roles.
Maybe he'll like her after the aforementioned fucking and want to pair with her, and maybe he won't. The idea is giving them more options, both in terms of sexuality and relationships. Feels redundant to custom build them to facilitate scenes with every sexuality under the sun but then lock them into one style of relationship and sexual encounter.
It's not an unusual concept, plenty of humans are promiscuous in their youth then settle down with someone they connect with later in life. I'm not going to lay that all out in exposition of course, the reader should discover more about the Krell as the characters do.

>>7305573
I don't feel like I have time to make different groups and subspecies like with the Borealans, I'd rather have this story be cut and dry for outlining who the Krell are and how they behave, and then iterations can come later as they're needed.

>>7305594
Well they're sentient of course, so I suppose personal preference will also play a role in that, I see no reason why they couldn't pair early or never pair at all, but right now I'm trying to establish the framework. Introducing exceptions to the rule at this stage would just confuse readers I think.

Like with the Borealans I want a framework story that says "here are the Krell, this is what Krell do", and then I can build on top of that and have stories following exceptions or outliers later on.

>>7305601
No you misunderstand, if they pair off then from that season on they're monogamous, and when they enter heat again they only fuck eachother. They play the field extensively until they find an ideal mate, then they pair for life, at least as a general rule.

>>7305606
You guys are terrified of NTR, chill out, I have never and will never write NTR. God knows I've had more than enough opportunities if I had wanted to go down that road.
>>
>>7305612
>It's not an unusual concept, plenty of humans are promiscuous in their youth then settle down with someone they connect with later in life.
And very many humans find that disagreeable and a extreme romantic turn-off, as this thread seems quite clear in indicating. Building an entire species around that that's meant to be versatile seems slightly counterintuitive
>>
>>7305620
That's no different than the Borealans though, any adult Equatorial you meet will have fucked and been fucked over and over during their battles for status and social standing.
The only exception being Lizka of course.
>>
>>7305612


I think the main issue here is that you mentioned wanting Krell to be romantic(which I am 200% behind btw), but your opening scene with one and a human is random sex generated by arousal sound waves, which isn't romantic at all.

I know you're not gonna budge on that, but maybe consider having the current scene play out with an unexpectedly gentle and tender Krell who's clearly trying his best to make the human feel comfortable and safe despite the language barrier? Currently you have everyone expecting some fast and raunchy sex, now would be a great time to show off the krell are romantic types.
>>
>>7305628
Yes? I'm pretty sure that's why people were interested in romance stuff *without that*, hence the interest in krell
>>
>lash out at lizard waifus for being experienced because you're insecure that you'll never live up to their expectations
How about not projecting homocentric neuroses onto aliens.
>>
>>7305631
I was going to have him pair with her, or at least try to, and then he's kind of tagging along and trying to woo her for the rest of her involvement in the story as she makes futile attempts to hide the fact that they banged and she's smitten.

You guys gotta give me some trust though, or I have to spoil everything!
>>
>>7305640
Snek's whole thing is creating aliens who are literally just projections of various sorts of human sex neurosis and you're surprised when people want what seemed to be the undefined fetieh species to match their fetishes?
>>
Snek fucking loves experienced dom-inexperienced sub and y'all are idiots if you expected anything else from the krell
>>
>>7305643

Alright snek, we'll trust you for now, but if you let us down we'll be forced to send a scathing letter you way.

(Also, do you not consider polars romantic or were they not included when you were talking about Borealans)
>>
>>7305643
Too late, you've pretty much explained their whole plot, aside from the ending. Hopefully the details are entertaining, otherwise this won't be worth it anymore
>>
>>7305640
>>7305664
He does have a point though, there's nothing sacred about sex, it's just a mundane thing we can all do at any time. Krell live long lives, and so expecting a relationship between a human and a Krell to be virginal is unreasonable when might already have been alive for 150 years and gone through five mating seasons.
>>
>>7305685
Polars don't get rapey (at least not violently) so there's a far higher chance of Polars having little or no sexual experience relative to everyone else.
Equatorials however are raping and being raped (not that they see it that way) from the moment they come of age.
Any Equatorial you meet has probably had twenty dicks in them at least, but that's only a problem if you can't separate sex and romance.

Polars, Krell and Equatorials are all equally capable of falling in love, I'm just trying to make the point for the people concerned about sexual experience that it's unreasonable to expect inexperienced partners from any of my races. For many of them sex is just the background radiation of their lives and there's nothing sacred about it.

The same is true for many real people, if you agree with their lifestyle choices or not.
>>
>>7305718

Oh good. I figured it was like that, I just wanted to make sure.
>>
And here we are in yet another round of one of the classic romance writing fights
In the red corner, we have the crew who prefer characters of similar levels of experience or inexperience, and in the blue corner we those who think contest makes better stories
Round 1149,
TALK PAST EACH OTHER BECAUSE YOU ARE OPERATING FROM FUNDIMENTALLY DIFERENT PLACES
GO
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>>7305847
In my harlequins, the guys always have more experience. If they're not savvy with the ladies, why should you be attracted to them.
>>
>>7305628
Exactly this mate >>7305638 the entire reason I WAS excited for the Krell was because I HATE Equatorials with a violent passion.
>>
>>7305692
>>7305847
This was one of the things I always found silly in mass effect
>super long-lived turbohedonist race
>only romancible example and only major character of the race is a magic virgin who acts like a very young human woman
I mean come on, really?
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>>7305924
Do you think Peebee's a slut?
>>
>>7305900
That's it! I've always slightly wondered what kept feeling familiar in his stories, and now I get it, they're things I remember from entirely too many Harlequins
>>7305847
Aaaaand now it's time for flashbacks to this exact argument turning unpleasant and personal more than a few times on fanfic sites
>>
>>7305718
I suppose the question is why you without fail pair inexperienced humans (especially that guy in one story who was a straight-up virgin) with your aliens?
>>
>>7305950
>Aaaaand now it's time for flashbacks to this exact argument turning unpleasant and personal more than a few times on fanfic sites
I simultaneously want to hear all about this and am scared to hear about it
>>7305943
She's waiting for the one boy who's unafraid enough of her butchness to talk to her and realize she's straight
>>
>>7305976
Why else would the protagonist be hooking up with aliens. They obviously have some issue that prevents them from forming normal relationships with other humans. Easier to self-insert for the reader. Most of the aliens depicted are outcasts among their species as well. We are on /d/ on 4chan.
>>
>>7305915
Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that's just not the kind of content I'm enthusiastic about writing.

Just seems trite to me, I don't find it interesting. I like conflict, contrast, sex should be a fight with a winner and a loser. My favorite stories to write are ones where one partner is completely overwhelmed, or where two people fucking hate eachother and end up banging despite that.

I tried some vanilla in Worlds Apart and Seliphi's Prize, and it was okay I guess, I just feel like what's the point of writing about such mundane relationships when you have so many options?

Not saying it's inherently bad or it can't be done well, I'm just not the right person to do it.

>>7305924
Yeah I agree, I loathe the Asari but the only appeal they ever held for me was the older matriarch stage ones, these super powerful and experienced women who have been all over the galaxy and can probably melt your brain with biotic powers. They were ultimate space MILFs who probably knew tricks you couldn't imagine, yet the Asari love interests are always these generic, boring women designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator. I guess there was that one Justicar in ME2, but she was a pain in the ass to romance.

>>7305976
Because I find it hot, it makes the situation all that more overwhelming and turns the dial up to 11. Maybe some people like parity in their romance but that's just completely off my radar, if you're going to write a fantasy why not make it an extreme one?
>>
Man, we REALLY need more writers so people stop mistaking a prolific specialist for a generalist and getting their hearts broke
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>>7305999
>sex should be a fight with a winner and a loser
>>
>>7306000
Triple ought of truth
I'm gonna try recruiting on the generals I use, see if I can drum up anything
>>
>>7305999
>sex should be a fight with a winner and a loser
No wonder you seem fixated wit domination and submission, you seem to have mistaken it for the basis of actual relationships, as opposed to forcing people into arbitrary roles for no reason.

There's a fucking good reason why every significant love story depicts said lovers treating each other as equals and not as rivals. Anything else ultimately either ends up with both people hating each other (again) or in a dysfunctional relationship that has disturbing parallels to domestic abuse. (Oh, and Worlds Apart was vanilla in name alone, you ended up devolving it into dominance and submission anyway and then made excuses about it.)
>>
>>7305999
>if you're going to write a fantasy why not make it an extreme one?

For the same reason you don't write about giant space cats and snakes just ripping off human limbs and using them as superior phallic replacements, mocking the humans who dared to get erect around them and their small, insufficient, ape-descended dicks, laughing and orgasming as their human 'mate' dies of blood loss.

Because it just isn't our kink. I don't know why people expect you to write outside of yours, but suffice to say the 'mystery' of vanilla porn/less extreme situations is not a mystery.
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>>7306037
It's a kink and this is a smut thread, dude.
It's not a statement about what relationships should be, it's just what I like to whack it to.
>>
>>7305999
What about The Outpost? That wasn't forced.
>>
>>7306048

Might possibly be because Outpost is a commission.
>>
I've been working on a piece where a guys family is pledged to darkness and it's like a organized cult. He gets turned into a shape shifting succubus. He doesn't eat, breathe, etc. He can take any shape but always remains 125 pounds. Gets his energy from sex. Sort of like a t1000 Terminator. His mind is gone too, little to no morals. Stays mostly a girl.
>>
>>7306048
That would be an example of 'one partner overwhelming another', especially if you read the bisexual edition where Zagza wrecked Schaffer.

>>7306049
The only aspect of that I didn't necessarily enjoy writing was the Runt gay scene, even the rest of the gay stuff was a lot of fun to write.
>>
>>7306042
Because he's the most prolific person here, which by definition means he must write absolutely everything unless other writers appear to pick up the slack.

Not exactly a new thing, we've been short on writers since the day we started.
>>
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>>7306037
>lovers treating each other as equals
>>
>>7306068
>mistaking cheap romance novels for significant love stories
>>
>>7306072
Nigga that's Venus in Furs.
>>
>>7306055

I'm still baffled at how well that scene came out despite the fact that you were writing something you were clearly uncomfortable with.

Outpost does make me think though. I feel it's a good example of how overpowering your partner in sex does not mean you aren't equals.
>>
>>7306055
Yeah they were stronger but it was still consensual and they still considered him a valuable member of their little tribe, so it's still equal no?
>>
>>7306077
It was? That's amazing, it sounds exactly like a trashy romance novel.
>>
>>7306078
I say it wasn't fun, but it was still an interesting exercise, while it highlighted one of my limitations it definitely did me good to go outside my comfort zone.

Thing is I designed Borealans from the ground up as a vehicle for the kink, their whole culture and social system is engineered to NOT be equal, no two Borealans alive are of equal standing, put two strangers in a room and one will assert dominance over the other.
When they start interacting with humans is where it gets interesting, because then they're trapped in that endlessly arousing limbo of humans never actually submitting to them like a Borealan would, so I think resistance is just as important a theme as submission.
Nobody wants to have sex with a dead fish, hence the fight and conflict that arises from some initial resistance.

People expecting anything else from them are barking up the wrong tree.

Of course Polars are way more laid back and relaxed about it, but they're still dominating people, just in a less direct way.

>>7306090
Depends what you mean by 'equal'. If someone is dominated sexually does that make them less of a person? I don't see it that way, and I've never intended to portray it that way. Except perhaps in Purple Heart, but that was supposed to be a more realistic portrayal of rape and thus went a lot further than I'd usually go.

I don't see that someone has to become some kind of slave with no will in order to be submissive to a dominant sexual partner, and I don't see that it reflects negatively on them in any way.

Do you imagine that for example, Raz has no respect for Stanley as a person or a partner because he takes a submissive role in sex, or that Ursi thinks less of Dennis because she obviously holds a lot of sway over him?

>>7306108
Yup, published in Austria in 1870, it's a pretty interesting exploration of a 'true' sub/dom relationship where a dude becomes completely infatuated with this woman who proceeds to pretty much treat him like crap.
>>
>>7306114
>Do you imagine that for example, Raz has no respect for Stanley as a person or a partner because he takes a submissive role in sex, or that Ursi thinks less of Dennis because she obviously holds a lot of sway over him?
Honestly we don't know, because they don't really show any actual empathy and their affection looks a lot like possessiveness
>>
>>7306114
Did you even read what >>7306090 said?
>>
>>7306114


See, that's exactly what I mean. Being dominant in bed does not necessarily mean they respect them less or don't see them as equals(although it still can of course), it's only one part of the picture that being equals is made of.

Hell, one can be dominated in bed but turn around and be dominant in some other aspect like who makes the major decisions in the relationship.
>>
Y'all know what? I got an idea to get this thread flowing more than it is now
It's very simple
All you lurkers and requesters, really everybody who isn't already writing, just sit down and write a thousand goddamn words of lewd for Friday. Just 250 goddamn words a day, you did that much writing in elementary school.
No matter how good or bad it is, post it on Friday
I just want everybody to take that goddamn leap and start that thing you want to write
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>>7306149
I'd love to see this happen, so I will participate.
>>
>>7306143
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people equate "submissive" with really degrading whips and chains femdom where people spit on eachother and make them walk around on all fours like a dog and shit, which is just so far removed from what I write.

I've written no degradation or humiliation so far, nothing that would demean the submissive party. Unless maybe you consider cunnilingus demeaning in which case you're just being selfish.

Hell the whole dynamic between Equatorials and humans is that humans do NOT submit completely in the way that a Borealan would, in doing so becoming a nervous slave too terrified to voice an opinion, which is what makes humans so intensely attractive to them.
>>
>>7306149
Fuck it, I'm in. I might as well actually finish that damn thing for my other general
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>>7306149
>Just 250 goddamn words a day, you did that much writing in elementary school.
Y-yeah, that's nothing.

Just kill me.
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>>7306149
> Just 250 goddamn words a day

That's been my minimum daily output since starting here. I try to get at LEAST that if I can.

Trust me, everyone. It helps. The only way to get good at it is to do it a lot.
>>
>>7306352
To get over that first mental block, one odd trick that's actually really helped me is pretty simple. Open your favorite doujin in one tab and a simple literotica story in another to get an idea of the right language, and basically just write a Described Video-style transcription of the doujin. It really helped me, easy way around writers block and 'what next' paralysis, gets you writing and once the fantasies that you want on paper get in the driver's seat, it's easy to switch over and get going on that
>>
>>7306420
It's a damn shame you're currently on commission, because I've good an idea that I think would really be your kind of thing
>>
2000 word update, new content at "Without warning the Krell placed his scaly hands around her hips"

Highway to Krell:
http://pastebin.com/hE1muHCb
new tags:
>oral, large penis
>>
>>7306125
Maybe the Raz one off can clear this up?

I feel like I'm the only one who likes the Equatorials.
>>
>>7306646
I need Raz abs to live.
>>
>>7306646
>I feel like I'm the only one who likes the Equatorials.
If they weren't so psychotic, I'd love em. I dunno, I'm so completely for amazonian catgirls, I just got no interest in the "culture"/mind-control magic genes snekboy's thrown together for em. I really just wish somebody else with a wider range of fetishes and preferred scenerios would take a crack at the snekverse
>>
>>7306715

Could you do me a favor and find any snek writing where polars mind controlled anyone or did anything even remotely close?

I'm curious to see where people are drawing that assumption from outside of hypothetical situations in this thread.
>>
>>7306715
>take over the snekverse
FTFY, snek's not the ideal person for his own fics, even the polar stuff is creepy as hell.

Ever heard of love-bombing? That's practically their MO, and nobody's ever seen what happens to those who reject their "hospitality".
>>
>>7306726

See >>7306724

It goes for you too
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>>7306726
I presume they end up frozen to death in a snowdrift somewhere after """getting lost in a blizzard""".
>>
>>7306729
Think about it- it's just a little too convenient that in the ass end of nowhere, all these giant superstrong cat people just so happen to have a fetish for humans and actively trip all over themselves to make him feel like he belongs in every possible manner to the extent he never wants to leave.

That's not hospitality, that's textbook cult recruitment.
>>
>>7306724
>I'm curious to see where people are drawing that assumption from outside of hypothetical situations in this thread.
Anon who hasn't touched that stuff so far.
It's really quite simply that polars are at a fundamental level all conmen and women, and I've dealt with that sort before and a hundred of them couldn't find an ounce of empathy between them
It's really that you kinda have to be a sociopath to really operate con games, and apparently their entire society is all told a bunch of con artists playing each other
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>>7306715
While I can see where you are coming from. I still like them. I feel like they need another shot really. I'm guessing, you didn't like worlds apart.

Something endears me to them. Like Raz could understand Stanely fairly well. I could go on but, I should probably head to bed.
>>
>>7306751
They took in a human, who's only a drain on resources. With dwindling resources of their own. They took care of him too.

I'm getting the feeling people are making Snek's stuff darker than it actually is.
>>
>>7306724
He gave then the species-wide informed attribute of """ manipulation """ without ever really thinking about that would actually MEAN about them from a sociopsychological perspective
And it turns out it's nasty as hell, but hey it's all about dat unstoppable femdom
>>
>>7306764
I don't think that's fair, he seems to have put a lot of thought into their societies and behavior.
>>
>>7306752
>I'm guessing, you didn't like worlds apart.
Well, I liked half of it

And speaking of Raz, I actually do like her, because she actually seems to have a personality that involves having a problem with the tradition equatorial "way of life" which she apparently shouldn't be able to resist because it's in her genes, which are apparently so magically important that I suspect it's Liquid Snake posting here, let alone feeling bad once she understands that humans and borleans aren't the same and realizes that she's done serious wrong by Stanley
>>
>>7306758
Or he's an idiot that doesn't realize making their species' hat "manipulation" makes them easily interpreted as sociopaths incapable of showing a single genuine emotion.

Even their seemingly generous insistence on taking him in when they were low on resources can itself be viewed as little more than a means to an end, without any kind of real charity involved in them.

>>7306790
If he had put thought in it, he wouldn't have made that interpretation possible in the first place. Let's see them do something that shows that they're genuinely willing to die for him with no possible gain for themselves, and maybe then the allegations of exploitation will end.
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>>7306795
>Let's see you die for a homeless person rather than just volunteering at the soup kitchen
>>
>>7306758
Those are supposed to be be weirdos who the regular polars left behind, and not any other polar gives even a vague suggestion that they'd do the same thing
And besides which, it frankly seems that interest in molesting something unusual like a human was important enough in why they did what they did
It's funny how the only polar sex scene and polar without a ulterior motive was not only the one snek could barely handle but also the one people seem to like best
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>>7306149
Welp. Guess I've got a quota to fill now. Crossed fingers and hope it doesn't turn out bad.
>>
>>7306799
No, more like
>let's see if you can do something for others you can't directly benefit from, since sucking up to the human ambassador means his bosses will treat you better and any cretin can just give up a little food

Self-sacrifice is the only reliable gauge for empathy and caring for others. If he wants to end the supposed nonsense about them all being Machiavellian deceivers, he has to show them truly risking something they value for a total stranger, where they gain nothing from it.

>>7306808
I think he might be allergic to romantic love. He quite literally cannot write a sex scene with no dom/sub elements whatsoever, even when specifically requested to do so.
>>
>>7306724
Gee, I wonder why people are skeptical of the motives of a species who are apparently manipulators to the last man and do it to humans all the time
>>
>>7306811
Are you really suggesting that them rescuing a stranger from dying in the snow, an alien at that, and then nursing him back to health is not an act of charity?
>>
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>>7306811
>romantic love can't have elements of sub/dom and can only be written in the specific way I interpret it
>romance can only exist between two virginal teenagers in a perfectly balanced mutual relationship in which neither apparently takes the initiative in any situation and they have sex on their sides so nobody has to be on the bottom

Time to lay off the Disney films, bro.
>>
>>7306830
>everybody who doesn't share my fetishes is a baby/ weirdo with whatever issues I project
Sir, It's time to go to sleep
>>
>>7306834
I agree but you quoted the wrong person.
>>
>>7306830
Jesus, you're projecting hard enough I could use your ass to open a damn movie theatre
>>
>>7306835
No sir, you're just as guilty as he is
You've been doing the whole
>everyone who doesn't like what I like is a weirdo who needs to get laid
Thing a bunch, and it's obvious, even when you don't directly say so, so I suggest you should perhaps consider going and fucking yourself, sir, bless your heart
>>
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>>7306848
Ah, we just hit bump limit didn't we?
I will be more vigilant next thread.
>>
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>>7302368
Been thinking further on the concept, with the Incubus GF becoming more assertive/confident as time goes on. I'm torn between how consensual their relationship is throughout, because while the thought of her piercing his nipples/applying a cursed tramp stamp as she coheres him into feminization via magic, seeing her get embarrassed when she acts dominant is too charming of an image.

Would probably start with her performing analingus on their first night together with a new prehensile tongue, before edging him into a finger then the whole package as a week passes. A month out from first getting nightly dicked would be begin turning into a trap, to femboy, then female, then succubus.

He/she would only be able to hide changes via illusion (same way she hides her changes) once he sells his soul to the Incubus GF to become a full succubi.

Have a great image in my head of him becoming a cuntboy/reverse trap, then undergoing a full feminization/corruption upon losing his/her virginity after selling the soul; hips rapidly flaring out, breast expansion from A to a D, Horns/wings sprouting and eyes going demonic.

Could go with either a bad end; where the selling of the soul invigorates the incubus's demon side, forcing the new succubus to be his first concubine/sex slave as they return to hell in search for more power, as she descends into bimbofication his first cumslut of many as her own demon side takes full effect...

...or a good end where they continue their public identities with others none the wiser that they've secretly genderswapped and gone demonic, perhaps topped off with a wedding where on their wedding night their tux and wedding dress morph as they enter the bedroom. Also, a honeymoon on the River Styx or swapping identities so they hide in public as each other so they can indulge in masculine/feminine behavior without issue.

...or a distant finale where their kid discovers their demonic heritage, which would make another nice story pitch...
>>
>>7306862
Like a teenager who learns that his childhood crush and her overprotective brother are actually the same person genderswapping.

Started off in the guise of a manga where a boy is friends with a tomboy growing up, and meets her again in high school filled out, only for the reveal at the end of the first chapter that the brother trying to get him to leave her alone is herself too embarrassed to meet him.

Or go in the opposite direction where it's best friends and he doesn't want him to date his sister, since they're the same person and the feelings are all mixed up.
>>
>>7306751
>>7306764
>>7306813


Alright, so if I'm reading your posts correctly, none of you are aware of any actual mind control/extreme manipulation done by polars so far, you're just assuming all this stuff happened based off of snek saying polars are manipulative in his tourism guide and no other evidence or examples?

Cause as of now, theyre no more manipulative than humans already are, and humans are damn good at it when they want to be.
>>
>>7306929
Humans are good at manipulating humans because they ARE human.
Why is an alien species that doesn't know much about humans (most polars or really any of the cats aren't educated about human society, and even the ones who are still have to try to understand human thought processes from a cat's perspective, which as stated by snek is genetically predisposed to think in a very diffrent way than humans) just as efficient at manipulating humans?
>>
>>7306791
I have to say that the original Pinwheel story feels frankly like a "poor" first draft that "needs" rewriting in light of the rest of the setting.
Raz is WRONG in every aspect of how Borleans are "supposed" to act and if it were not the premise of their continued existence among the galactic community then logically she would have raped and possibly murdered Stanley, gotten her and her whole species kicked off, and the story would have ended.

her apparently miraculous ability to MAKE DECISIONS flies in the face of everything snek has posted about how nature and genes always template people into carbon-copies in the end, which makes a whole lot more sense now that we're finding out he applies sub/dom mentality to LITERALLY EVERYTHING and not even in the realistic healthy manner but the worst and most destructive one.
Frankly it should have been obvious that the person with effectively unlimited time to spend writing would not be pinnacle of mental health (not even counting WHERE he's writing because who am I to say anything about that)
>>
>>7306969


Uh? Correct me if I'm wrong Polars have only ever manipulated other polars and maybe equatorials(which come on, that's not exactly hard). They have 0 experience with anything that was other borealans on Borealis because of where they lived and the extremely limited contact they had with other people on their planet, much less anything else off of it.


As for the 2 other people who posted before me, 4chanx let me see your posts after they got deleted.

Ursi manipulating Dennis was something any ruler in their right mind would do, he was her ticket to getting her people off of their shithole of a planet. I admit there was definitely some manipulation going one,but it was tame as hell and any ruler would have to be a complete idiot to not do that if they were in her situation.
>>
>>7306588
JFC man with the cliff hangers.

I don't really see how she takes her panties off though. As I understand at that point her legs are around the krell's head. A bit about her having curl up for the maneuver would clear it up.
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>>7306462
I mean... feel free to tell me. No harm in that, I suppose. But if I'm not working on the commission, I'll be working on PWA or the G4E fanfiction conclusion.
>>
>>7306978
Snek also said in the past that equatorials from different cities would act differently because, at the time their behavior was *mostly cultural*

He's just been quintupling down on the gene thing since people started roasting him for Worlds Apart
>>
>>7307231
In other words, his pride won't let him admit he fucked up so he's compounded it by causing the world building in his earlier fics to fall apart.

Man, that's stupid.
>>
>>7307243
Nah man, he's just gonna write what he wants to write. You just need to grow up and stop projecting so much.
>>
>>7307249
It's still a serious inconsistency in need of resolution.
>>
>>7307231
>Worlds Apart
Speaking of which, is the guy doing the story based on WA around? How's that going?
>>
>>7307270
That'd be me, and the answer is "not well". The laptop I was writing it on died and I hadn't backed it up. Probably that's it, I don't feel much like rewriting the whole thing
Though if anyone cares for it, I could post a detailed outline of what I had planned
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>>7307125
I had her push them aside, maybe I should add some more detail to that scene to better illustrate that.

>>7307290
Ouch, that really sucks man.

>>7307243
I feel like a George Lucas scenario is developing here where people are assuming I have some complex plan worked out, but mostly I just make it up and refine the rules as I go along. I don't even plan out individual stories in any way, I just write and see where it takes me.
Raz never stopped being dominant though, she never behaved un-Borealan-like in my eyes. If her behavior had flipped and she had become submissive you'd have a point, but we don't have to deal in absolutes where behavior is concerned. Individuals are always going to have some variation in behavior and morality. Azi and Raz were equally dominant and operating on the same logic, the difference there is that one of them learned to care about their partner and how their behavior effected him, and the other had no reason to care. Raz never said "I need to behave like a human" she just realized that humans are fragile and that she needed to tone it down a notch.

I feel like we talk at crossed purposes a lot, and when I say "dominant" it means something completely different to you, and comes with negative connotations that I don't share.

But to answer your question, if you find inconsistencies in earlier fics it's because I'm pulling all of this out of my ass.
>>
>>7307324
I think it would be better with more detail, since the rest of the scene is quite detailed so it's a bit jarring when it seems to jump/gloss over something like that.

What I meant was it says she pulls them aside, which from the way the two characters are positioned sounds like she's not fully pulling them off, if that is what you were going for then it's fine, just a moment of confusion as one tries to figure out how all the parts of each person are situated for the rest of the scene.

Keeping the panties on, just pulled down would make for some awkward oral sex as the krell is holding her in the air with her thighs around his head. If the panties are between her cuch and the krell's chin then it would be hard for him to get an angle without them obstructing him. If she pulls them far enough down for them to be past his head, then the scene really should have more detail o show that that is what she does. As a sudden change in level of detail is jarring.

The logistics of this scene just seem off to me.

I do wanna say that other than this I am enjoying this so far
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>>7307324
>>7307243
Also I should add that I am constantly elated to know that people read my stuff thoroughly enough and pay enough attention to my writing to even care about this kind of thing, even if people are being critical it means they read it and care about it in some capacity, and I appreciate that.

>>7307349
Sure, in any case if you had to ask then I failed to illustrate it properly, so I'll go back and fix that up.

Glad you're enjoying it!
>>
>>7307353
In all honesty snek, what you really need to learn to say is
>sure, that's a thing this species does, It's just not something I feel like writing
I'm purely a worldbuildingfag who doesn't even like femdom, I'm just saying it's better to say "sure they aren't all like this, but I'm not interested in the ones who aren't" then go full planet of hat
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>>7307362
Their whole society and culture is built around that aspect though, if I put time into planning anything out it was Borealan society and their pack dynamic. The Alpha/Beta hierarchy, the parallel social structures, the dominance fights, even their reproduction completely relies on that system to function.
Again, I made them for this express purpose, built from the ground up to facilitate one specific kink.
I introduced the Polars as a way to say "here are some who behave differently" in order to cater to different flavors of femdom, but if the Equatorials don't behave in the stated way, then their society just falls apart.
I don't consider that a flaw or a weakness, because I designed them to be that way.

I could introduce a third race of Borealans who just act like humans, but I'll try to explain why I don't want to do that.

I'm operating on Footfall logic here, which is my favorite first contact scenario novel. What I found from poring over these old sci-fi novels is that the physical description of the aliens rarely matters. I'd look at these art books and illustrated covers and I'd say "that isn't how I imagined the aliens" and when I went back to reading, my imagination would just substitute its own mental image, even though I had seen how they were supposed to look. How they behaved mattered more than their design, which almost became superfluous after a point.

The stories that really stuck with me were ones like Footfall, or The Mote in God's Eye, or Blindsight, where the physical description played second fiddle to their exotic cultures. When I think of the Fithp from Footfall I don't think of their design, I think of their herd culture and their unique concepts of war and surrender. Creating a "cool looking alien" works for visual mediums but with writing that isn't what sticks with you.

For that reason I think making Borealans who just behave like humans will do the species a disservice and ultimately won't be compelling.
>>
>>7307384
And I would say that an entire species meant to not even just do one fetish, but a single *scenerio* of a single fetish is bad worldbuilding, and folks don't like that.
that's kind of the point. It's not that people don't understand the fact of the hyper specialization, it's that they don't *like* it

Also I fucking HATE the fucking alpha pack dynamic shit, but that's nothing on you, I just want to scream that WOLVES DON'T WORK THAT WAY at everyone who uses that shit, and especially omegaverse writers should be set on fire
>>
>>7307420
I like it though lol.

I'm trying to develop similar, but different systems for the other species, maybe people who dislike Borealans will find those more appealing, I don't know.

For the Brokers I'm trying to make a system built around trade, so the core tenet of their culture and perception of the world is trade and payment. They'll never expend resources if there's no personal gain for them, and they'll be unable to comprehend why humans behave selflessly in certain scenarios.
Every minor act would require compensation of some kind in material wealth or favors, which should open up lots of interesting scenarios for conflict.
Let's say you gave a Broker a cookie, they'd probably shoot you a dirty look and be like "I didn't ask for this and now I have to pay you back in some way, fuck you".
They would appear to act charitably and then become irate when they weren't compensated.
Perhaps the sexual element could be introduced when a human saves a Broker's life and it feels it has to pay off its debt, or something like that.

I'm still trying to find my stride with the Krell but I feel like their primitive culture will require a less complex system.
>>
>>7307384
Feels like people's main problems stem from them just not liking femdom. Personally I love it. Combined two of my weaknesses large girls and femdom.

I'm not sure why some are getting bent out of shape about it.

I'm sorry I don't really understand the world building criticism. Many a fetish story had kinks in them that I didn't like. Or built up worlds around them. I never wanted someone to change what they got off to. To make the story more to a normal narrative. Wouldn't make sense, the point is the smut.
>>
Goddamnit boys, don't you get it? Snake here is a specialist first and last, he does one thing and that's it, and any worldbuilding or related crap is equally specialized, not general stuff, even if you other worldbuilders aren't
He does what he does, which is slutty dominant aliens powerfucking submissive inexperienced humans, and that's it. Asking him to do anything else is like asked a plumber to rewire your house, no point to it at all, that's not their job
>>
>>7306747
>That's not hospitality, that's textbook cult recruitment.
What do you have against cults? There's a lot of really great cults out there. You shouldn't discriminate just because of a few bad Kool-Aids.
>>
>>7307324
I think the thing about the Raz story was that she showed genuine remorse and distress over the injuries she caused that suggested she saw other individuals as people rather than objects.
The way she reacted to Stanley taking shots at the validity of her status, plus her line on friendship later on, also felt like a much more nuanced picture of how the rapecats fit into their own society than several other stories. She was still very obviously suited to the dominance/submission thing, but there was a little bit of chafing that felt more real than some other characters where they can seem to slot unnaturally perfectly into their culture.
>>
>>7307435
Yay....more alien that are irredeemable assholes....joy.
>>
>>7307469
It's certainly true that I've not tried to do a Borealan like Raz since, I felt like I accomplished what I set out to achieve with that plotline.
Every Equatorial I've written about since has been a different take on elements of their culture, if anything I've been trying to avoid treading the same ground too much. Azi was a Borealan who was totally callous and didn't care how her actions impacted people, Cola had the benefit of anonymity and was an example of what they might do if there were no consequences, Xhe was someone struggling with status and the parallel pack structure, Zhari was trying to suppress her attraction to humans, and so on and so forth.
Raz is just one facet of potential Borealan behaviors, though I do intend to bring her back in shorts when I have the time, so I hope you'll enjoy that more.

>>7307481
You're missing the point of the 'culture clash' theme, they're not assholes, they just think and behave differently to you. You're supposed to get to know them and learn how to bridge the cultural gap. From their perspective you're the asshole for not submitting to Borealans like you should, or indebting Brokers by doing them unsolicited favors, that's the whole point.
>>
>>7307491
>You're missing the point of the 'culture clash' theme, they're not assholes, they just think and behave differently to you. You're supposed to get to know them and learn how to bridge the cultural gap. From their perspective you're the asshole for not submitting to Borealans like you should, or indebting Brokers by doing them unsolicited favors, that's the whole point
The problem is that the aliens don't actually come across as aliens with alien cultures at all, they just come across as humans of certain diseased personality types that most humans know and hate
>>
>>7307435

Brokers don't like kindness/charity eh?

I bet they'd take that cookie if you called it a free sample.
>>
>>7307516
I wouldn't say that they don't like kindness, just that they behave like EVE Online players.
>>
>>7307520

In that case they'd either go straight for the free sample or only take it after they gave you half a cookie in hopes that you'd double it.
>>
>>7307452
If it was only about smut, nobody would care so much about the characters or the setting to voice these criticisms in the first place.
>>
>>7307520
So.....like assholes?
>>
>>7307530

Paranoid assholes who listen to money over words.

Then again, I have to wonder if it also means once you get a Broker to trust you, you gain massive amounts of support and/or a loyal companion.
>>
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>>7307535
Now you're starting to get the underlying politics of the Coalition. Did the UNN join because they were concerned about Bugs invading disputed territory a hundred light years from Earth, or because they wanted the ear of the Brokers and access to their tech?
There are reasons everyone seems to fight 'for' the Brokers and never 'with' them.
>>
>>7306815
It's like buying a lobster so you can fatten it up and eat it yourself.
>>
>>7307461
I ended up looking up stuff about cults when I was researching comets for GFH.

Who remembers Hale-Bopp and the Heaven's Gate cult? Remember when Jay Leno kept making jokes about that?
>>
>>7307558
>Who remembers Hale-Bopp and the Heaven's Gate cult? Remember when Jay Leno kept making jokes about that?
Didja know their website's still up?
>>
>>7307650
I'll take a wild guess that they're not accepting any new members...
>>
>>7307792
You'd be surprised

Also, hey broodlord, you around?
>>
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How do I write a romance, /efg/?
>>
>>7307919
bother partners being able to call each other sluts without the other getting mad
>>
>>7307919
Well, who are you writing it between?
>>
>>7307919
A smart older guy I once knew used to tell me that if you're dating someone and they aren't one of your best friends, you've fucked up somewhere. Keep that in mind
>>
>>7307919
It's really dependant on the personalities of the characters involved. What do you have in mind?
>>
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>>7307919
The way I do it... I just write two people who connect in non-obvious ways and expand their love from there. I'm not sure which of my stories is the most romantic, but it's a common thread for me.

If that doesn't work for you, just give some women cocks and let them fuck each other.

I'm saying that romance has several definitions.
>>
>>7307925
Two women, although my expert consultation informs me that there shouldn't be too much difference to a hetero thing.
>>
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>>7307934
I don't really know, at the moment. As I said in >>7308045, I feel as though I want to do it between two women (not futa D, don't look at me like that), but beyond that I don't really know.

I've never done something like this before.
>>
>>7308049
You need to pick out some personalities then. For some people romance is flowers and singing on balconies, for others it's quiet evenings indoors reading books, for others a night indulging in your partner's fetish. Sometimes it's all of these.
>>
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>>7308049
I did write ONE lesbian story that involved no penises whatsoever. Out of the Bag was just two catgirls.

Well, here's a way to go about it. Maybe find a quality you'd really like in someone else, and give it to one character, and something you like about yourself that you hope others like in you, and give it to the other one. And have that be the rock which you base the rest of the interaction on.

Just picture two people meeting and imagine sparks, either positive or negative ones, and the tension that mounts from whatever it was that gave the two characters an interesting reaction to each other. Don't make them too bland, or else we'll be like, "why do these two like each other?" Give it all a reason, and explore that reason as you write.

Or... you know, big meaty velvety cocks. Whichever.
>>
>>7307384
ever read the left hand of darkness?
>>
>>7308074
>>7308075
Hrm. Right.

Might need to do something with the characters I was going to use, then.

Although the last time I did that the story ended up becoming a Mad Max-esq post apocalypse story.
>>
>>7308099
You may wish to consult the /u/ writethread as well, since they write a lot of this sort of thing, as you'd expect
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>>7308102
I've never been to those parts. And I'm not really going to make it a yuri story barring that its two women in love.

Not even really sure what the main points of the genre are.
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2000 word update, new content at "She didn't know the Krell phrase for 'be gentle"

Highway to Krell:
http://pastebin.com/hE1muHCb
new tags:
>vaginal, large insertion

>>7308083
Nah, maybe I'll check that out, sounds interesting.
>>
>>7307547
>space jews
Boy I am so ready. Even if I'm not a huge fan of the potential smut applications of this race I'm ready for "the brokers did this"
>>
>>7306979
Thank god you saw the other posts u was gonna get salty if they just vanished and weren't seen.

Don't get me wrong I understand why Queen fluff did it, but the actions of one character are enough to flavor a race, especially if it's the first we see of them. So the polar's come across as racially all making "ruler - class decisions"

On a side note, any idea why those posts were deleted?
>>
You know those japanese subway molester hentai where the girl is actually into it, or is a girl themselves? I'd like to read something like that. :3
>>
D, here are some ideas for the GFH universe.

>There is a rare disease that affects Futa people. Normally it is treated with expensive surgery or something else annoying, but can also be cured with frequent orgasm. This is somewhat real: http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1063897/sex-can-cure-common-ailments. Because of this, a lot of money has been put into sex toys for Futa individuals. Some of them are so effective that they are restricted for medical use only, but people find a way to buy them anyway.

>Futa porn has become so popular that amatuer variants are starting to show up. Actual Futa sex is way different than what people would expect.
>>
>>7308635

I argue that Ursi was in a very unique situation that would not only necessitate going out of her way to be manipulative(although she really didnt need to do much), but that any rational human who wanted to rescue their people who have done the same, if not worse.

I have no idea why those posts got deleted because they were literally apart of an ontopic conversation that I was involved in, yet somehow my posts lived. Really confusing, maybe the mods just missed mine?
>>
>>7308703
>D, here are some ideas for the GFH universe.

I hadn't really thought of it as a 'universe' yet. I just thought of it as the real world with the addition of futa. I'm thrilled someone likes this enough to come up whit ideas for it, but... I'm not super likely to use these ideas for this one. The whole "futa porn is so populer, amatuers start to emerge" thing is sort of what actually happened between Selena and Layla as it is.

>http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1063897/sex-can-cure-common-ailments

One of them is 'writer's block,' a phenomenon I don't experience the same way as other writers describe it.

Funnily enough, while I write this story about this futa trying not to come while in the presence of the apex of futa sexuality, I find that refraining from orgasm helps inspire my lust and makes writing sexy stuff much easier.
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