/efg/ Erotic Fiction General

forgot to post this, I'll let the guy who makes the next thread put it in the header

https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page

I have a request, if anyone's interested.
A nerdy, trappy apprentice mage tries to summon a succubus for sex, but slightly fucks up the summoning circle and gets an Incubus instead. He's disappointed for a minute before deciding that he's bicurious anyway, so why not enjoy the demon dick?
Does this interest anyone?

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How about Hinata and Hanabi Hyuuga conjoined like this, falling for Naruto, with eventual lemon scene?

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The Liz artwork is done and is available here:
http://i.imgur.com/5l1rd5D.jpg

The 'Worlds Apart' chaptered Ebook is done and is available here in epub format:
https://www.patreon.com/file?h=7991742&i=818547

2000 word update to Snek 4, new content at "She struck with shocking speed"

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
New tags:
>XCOM Viper, lamia, size difference, large breasts, kissing blowjob, light bondage, biting, scratching, denial, choking

>>7241075
End with the apprentice turning into an Alp, and you got me hooked.

>>7241108
I'm not really into TF/bad end stuff, sorry man

>>7241091
I've put a bunch of your stuff on to Four Leaf Fics now. See here: https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Category:Snekguy

Some of the tags provided were too ambiguous for me to figure out what to use as the category.

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How's this for a request?

Protagonist is your classic jerk jock who's jogging on a park, all smug and prideful about being able to leave behind everyone with ease, then a pretty muscular, tall woman (I'm thinking on Senran Kagura's Daidouji or a woman with a similar build) quickly catches up with him and surpass him. They begin to race against each other until finally the man falls exhausted. His pride hurt, he began to insult her and generally being a whiny bitch.

The woman (still fresh despite the competition) picks him up and takes him to a secluded place (some bushes, a public bathroom, whatever strikes the writer fancy). There she strips down to reveal a nice, big cock and proceeds to teach the guy some manners. Anything goes as long the guy gets mind broken and unable to live with a cock pounding his ass.

Oh, and I'd love if the woman/futa/shemale has a thick bush, maybe some armpit hair as well. And all of this is topped with an intense, pungent musk result of all the physical activity.

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>>7241110
Who's to say it's a bad end? As long as the mage retains volition I'd be fine. Maybe awakening as an Alp boosts his/her magical abilities, and raises to the top of their class (Magic Academy is probably impartial to alignments/species of it's students.)

>>7241137
Awesome.

When I upload them on websites I usually put them either in the sci-fi or femdom categories.

I can also provide you with versions formatted for online reading if you like, that don't use breaks. The formatting on the wiki seems to strip the breaks and it will make them a lot more readable.

>>7241163
Thanks for the info on commissions last thread. It was pretty close to what I'm doing, even if his outline was more like a treatment than a guideline. His editorial style isn't too restrictive either, he's been more help than harm.

Being 100% honest I'm not really into what the commissioner is asking for, but others say his checks clear (so to speak) and it was a fun/cute story in other ways, so I'm not gonna bitch or be rude about it.

>>7241082
if no one's said anything by now, might as well stop reposting. also

>Naruto

>One last question: do you want futa to have existed for a long time, or for there to have been some recent event to have brought them on the scene, basically making the star one of the first big futa stars out there?

Either way works!

For snek and others, what would be some good ideas for characteristics or particular moves/ideas a human commander who keeps his borlean troops in fear and under command by being totally fucking insane would have? I like the idea of such a character giving liz heartfelt but maniacal advice in my prospective fic

>>7241216
I used to play exactly that character in Sunless Sea!

The key is to be implacable and deadly. A crazy guy who you can kill with a mutiny is going to die. A crazy guy who goes off with a full ship, taunts a pirate ship with clearly better weaponry, and comes back in the destroyed remains of that better ship covered in blood? He's going to stick around for a while. In Sunless Sea, I assumed he was some kind of Lovecraftian monster. A Sci-Fi version could be a cyborg.

They also can't be TOO deadly to the crew. Otherwise they won't find anyone to replace the people who die. Joining his or her crew needs to be high risk and reward, not a ticket to hell. That could be why they're using a Borlean crew. They're extremely deadly compared to humans.

>>7241216
Taping a fucking claymore mine to his chest and holding the clicker in hand at all times.
Replacing his trauma plates with space C4, thus converting his entire body into a shaped charge
Having his pistol out in one hand and an unpinned grenade in the other whenever interacting with them
Being known to have shot the last three cats tried to make a dominance play dead.
Pick two or more of the above
Even a mongoloid sociopath rapecat would realize that somebody like that is too crazy to fuck with

I just want to know if one of these 2 kinds of stories are here.
One with a dragon, a full sized dragon, fucking a girl.

Or something with an AI and a person.

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>>7241216
Here's another version. Their insanity is WHY they're such a great captain. Good luck predicting someone who doesn't follow their own strategies! Or is constantly hiring male crewmembers who like femdom, giving the Borleans something to rape!

>>7241233
Both exist here, check the master list, they're there somewhere

>>7241216
The best way to do that would be to pick out the Alpha and beat him like a stepchild. The rest would fall in line and it would take a long time for them to muster the courage to challenge you. If you were a competent leader and kept them happy you might never be challenged at all.

>>7241231
If you challenged the Alpha and beat him, none of that would be necessary.

We've established that Borealans cannot into martial arts, but that's not going to be a universal solution.

What if he had a Krell first mate? Krell are good-natured but they're also extremely loyal, if the Krell owed him a life debt or something or became his close friend, he'd absolutely trounce any Borealan on command. As seen in Pinwheel a Krell can really fuck up a Borealan in hand to hand.

>>7241226
>>7241239
>>7241243
Surprisingly, I wasn't talking about as a pirate. I was talking about the psudo-military-but-not-really environment of being the human assigned to run a borlean team in the actual army. It strikes me as the kind of thing would naturally tend towards the slightly off, because what sane officer would take such a job, knowing what he's signed up for? Not many
>>7241231
>Taping a fucking claymore mine to his chest and holding the clicker in hand at all times.
That's just crazy enough to work. I like it

>>7241263
Who's to say modified pirate tactics won't work in space? You could do some pretty fucked up stuff in Mass Effect, and you were technically part of the military.

I think you're right about the position attracting insane people, though. No other human would accept a job like that.

>>7241263
I really don't think UNN personnel would do that in any kind of official capacity. Also how would he attach it to the Alpha without getting shredded?

That said, if you're talking about it in the context of a guy telling a story to Liz, it could maybe happen in like an "operation gone wrong" scenario where the chain of command starts breaking down and the Borealans aren't following orders (in other words what happens every single time anything doesn't go right).

>>7241216
>Crazy person leading an army of invincible warriors who only respect strength.

If you've read Girl Genius, you're describing a Heterodyne.

>>7241279
>Also how would he attach it to the Alpha without getting shredded
You misunderstand, the human officer is the one with the claymore taped to him.

>>7241296
Oh, well that's probably more likely, but no less unconventional. Again, having that take place in a scenario where things have gone badly and they're trapped behind enemy lines or stranded on a damaged ship, something along those lines, would be more believable.

>>7241263
>pseudo-military
Some sort of spec-ops squad, most-likely. He'd challenge the alpha to a test of skill at leading a team, showing how the alpha's tactics aren't enough to do well in various sim-environments based on actual battles.

He could fight using powered armour.

He could beat down the alpha of the Borealan team when they were doing something stupid during a mission, as Snek suggested.

He could also beat down the alpha, then suggest a crazy plan that appeals to the rest of the team, while being careful in his tactics and strategy so that it actually works.

>>7241313
RimWorld with Space Cats.

>>7241231
>>7241243
>>7241274
>>7241313
>>7241315
I mean, if I had the miserable luck to be assigned to lead a squad of borleans or the like, I'd do my very best to ensure that they understand that trying borlean shit on humans equals certain and painful death, at the very least a firing squad, or maybe immolation, since it seems to me like the only thing would keep the fuckers in line aside from replacing my arms with cybernetics and beating the living shit out of every single one of them

>>7241330
A cook would have the easiest time reigning in a bunch of Borealans without violence.
>Do this or you're eating rations isntead my cooking etc

>>7241330
>Replacing my arms with cybernetics.

Why not replace EVERYTHING with Cybernetics, except your brain? Then you could put it in a jar and assume Cortex Command. Good luck correctly raping a brain in a jar attached to a metal skeleton.

>>7241313
>Again, having that take place in a scenario where things have gone badly and they're trapped behind enemy lines or stranded on a damaged ship, something along those lines, would be more believable
I would really think that given the evidence, officers dealing with borleans being briefed so as to keep them on edge all 24/7 would only be realistic
Like,
>the troops under your command are liable to turn on you and attempt to severely physically and sexually assault you at any moment, and only respect anyone who can beat them in an attempted rape fight.
Even if it isn't always true, it would be nonsensically idiotic for officers dealing with them not to know what's going on, even in situations that are supposedly under control

>>7241422
Nah I'm pretty sure it's the right quality for here.

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Hey everyone I want to thank to the person that wrote that "Elle hyper futa story" if he is around.

Your work has brought me so many pleasant moments and I am grateful that you wrote so much and so long. Only the ending is what made me sad, I would have never expected such a sad ending. It killed my boner but it was worth it, it was all totally worth it, ALL OF IT.

Dear sir/maam who wrote it, once again thank you so much and I hope life will allow you to write more stories like this in the future.

>>7241338
Cymeks. They rule, or they should have.

>>7241243
No my friend, the better thing to do would be to go crazy on all their furry asses. If you fight the alpha it's a dominance thing so they obey, that's what they know. But if you just fuck everyone up they wouldn't know how to handle it, like what happened to Azi, she was totally confused when Moralez went all steel justice on her ass over a dominance fight. Don't even play their game.

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Reposting from the last thread, to the requester for the "futa pornstar and her amateur who comes too easily" story. (Actually, if the requester wants to be credited for the idea by whatever sobriquet they like, let me know.)

---

One last question: do you want futa to have existed for a long time, or for there to have been some recent event to have brought them on the scene, basically making the star one of the first big futa stars out there?

I have officially started on this one. OpenOffice crashed on me when I tried to save it, but it recovered it. The prompt said, "Hey, would you like to send something to Sun Microsystems so they can see what the glitch was?"

>me looking at all the notes about futa pornstars in my document

No, thank you. I shan't be sending this one.

>>7241243
Would killing the Alpha make them more or less willing to follow orders?

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>>7241689
>I have officially started on this one.
You're already starting? Pic related!

>One last question: do you want futa to have existed for a long time, or for there to have been some recent event to have brought them on the scene, basically making the star one of the first big futa stars out there?

Whatever you think makes for better writing is great with me! Although I'm leaning in the direction of the second one.

Thanks for offering to credit me! You can say it was from Anon though. Getting to read it is enough.

Reposting for the new thread. Now 100% done!

Divine Love
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16KevErEaG7glBQ_SQyWLSQQLkiiPKUTT2EleZA51OrE/edit

Tags:
MxF, humanxangel, vanilla, cunnilingus, vaginal, flying sex

>>7241091

Hey Snek,

Any chance of "World's Apart" continuing?

Like a sequel or something where Jaime and Liz get married and have a kid (litter?).

That was some pretty decent writing there.

>>7242115

I'm think it's been established that, while having compatible anatomies, Humans and Borealans are genetically incompatible and can't interbreed for that reason.

>>7242150

>>7242150

Meh. It's fiction. You don't have to explain shit.

It could be said that the chance of conception is ridiculously small but not absolutely impossible.

Jaime and Liz just happened to win the lottery.

Or maybe Liz's time on Earth was long enough to make it possible.

There's a shitton of truth when it comes to Nature being in change, but Nurturing ALWAYS has some kind of influence. Even if it's imperceptible.

Oh well. Whatever. I just really like those two.

>>7242164
that's not how biology works at all

>>7242115
He's busy for like four months, and he's not that into that stuff, so I'm gonna call it unlikely

>>7242166

In the REAL WORLD, biology does not work that way.

This is true.

But we're NOT talking about THE REAL WORLD.

What we're talking about is a fictional future on Earth where there is a FICTIONAL alien race comprised of Amazonian catgirls.

>>7242174
And fiction still has grounding in reality. The species can't crossbreed, this has been established.

>>7242115
>>7242164
Yeah I'd be up for more Liz and Jamie when my schedule allows for it, they can't interbreed though.
I've had a lot of requests for characters to have kids and start families but I always felt like adoption or artificial insemination was an elaborate form of cucking.

>>7241759
Depends in what way you killed him. If you snuck up behind him and put a bullet in the back of his head, you wouldn't win any cred because you didn't 'beat him'.

If you kicked his ass to the point that he died they'd do as they were told for a time, but you'd certainly be challenged quickly as that would make you unpopular.

>>7241330
I doubt they'd let you just cut your arms off, what happened to Moralez was a very special case. There aren't going to be any Shadowrunner style cyborg warriors voluntarily replacing body parts.

>>7241315
Nah no power armor for humans, I want to avoid comparisons to Halo and 40K. I'm gonna be introducing exosuits for the brokers later on.

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>>7242176

Whatever, killjoy.

>>7241216
Well there are a few typed depending on what type of leader you are.

I can think of one movie, The Postman. The main antagonist ruled with fear and a set of 8 laws, but also celebrated courage and loyalty. He does accept challenges to rule the clan, but made an example of the last person who did. But that is ruling thorough fear, you have to respect and care for your men.

Been writing it for a while, but here is the storyline:

Midwestern Country Farm girl finds a pod crash landing in there field and befriends a bowling ball sized purple and pink tentacle creature. It slowly builds into a romantic relationship before the creature manages to fix it's craft and fly off.

>>7242179
I feel like something with a human-borlean couple playing aunt and uncle to the human's sibling's kids would be cute and scratch most people's itch for that kind of thing.

is there any erotic fiction similar to this:
http://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=2272040
except there is no futa/shemale (whatever you call it) but rather a male, and if possible written form the male's perspective.

>>7242179
I would have thought you'd be avoiding Starship Troopers or Mass Effect by not including it.

Avoiding connection to 40k is as simple as avoiding grimdark & schlock-writing, Halo is more distant because humans are basically getting screwed till 4 came out (and 6 will probably see them getting screwed again).

>>7242269
starship troopers is were power armored soldiers originated from

>>7242272
*where

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>>7242176
>>7242174

>>7242286
What does D&D have to do with an alien race and a scifi setting created by Snek?

>>7242269
Starship Troopers is glorious and I welcome all comparisons.
That said I don't want superhumans running around in impenetrable armor doing ninja backflips and punching tanks in half.

>>7242291
Everything is based on D&D, when it comes down to it.

>>7242293
no, that's completely wrong

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>>7242294
>>7242176
>>7242166

>>7241759
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLtzA0A7w90

>>7242318
That show was my shit!

I still have the original VHS for it.

>>7242311
It's funny how hard you're trying to force this when Snek said that's not going to happen and not how it works

>>7242329

And I seriously don't care.

There are plenty of other things that require my attention than what happens or not in a fictional universe.

As to why I posted that image? Because I wanted to see if you would pop up again.

What are you? His PR team? Let the writer respond to comments directed to him/her.

>>7242358
that's a lot of caring and attention for someone who doesn't care

>>7242364

The only thing I care about now is why are YOU speaking for him/her.

If nothing else, it pisses me off when someone acts like a white knight.

If he sys something is established or whatever, then let him or her say it.

>>7242381
>>7242179

>>7242383

My point exactly. So next time, try not saying anything until the actual author in charge replies back.

>>7242391
> I seriously don't care.
>>7242358

>>7242395
Just write the fucking thing yourself if you want it so badly

or better yet just shut the fuck up and talk about other people's fics for a change, this isn't snekguy general as much as you would clearly love it to be

>>7242447
I'll talk about other fics when other fics I like actually get posted. And I don't like all of Sneks stories. I skipped over grave goods and hostage since it had nothing I cared for. Quit getting pissy people like something over another thing.

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>>7242292
The fuck is wrong with you? All hail super trooper humans
The movie was good too.

>"only good bug is a dead bug"
How about a story where that guy ends up having to act as the sole security guard for the imprisoned queen bug, with it trying to "seduce" him. But because her pheromone gland that's in charge of that smell has been removed as a safety factor and because she relied on the pheromone in the past she doesn't know how to really seduce anything. Maddness ensues.

Is there anyone who'd be interested in writing a futa on reverse trap request?

>>7242475
bit unrelated, but did you ever watch the cartoon TV series?

>>7242475
It's the best movie ever made, tied with 'Aachi and Ssipak.'

>>7242520
Roughnecks? That series was awesome. Shame it was aimed at kids and wasn't a lot more violent though. That never made sense to me, how the movie was so violent and gory, but there was a kid's TV show. The CG animated movie was pretty good too. I even enjoy the third movie for it's self-aware humor, but there's no defending 2.

>>7242391
Yeah no interbreeding. You could handwave it with space science but it just doesn't make sense biologically speaking.

>>7242531
I recommend the lesser known movie Hunter Prey. It's a somewhat low budget scifi movie made in 2010 that's really good and character driven.

>>7242535
I've seen that, it was really good. Loved the twist.

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>>7242546
>I've finally found someone else who saw the movie

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>>7242550
It's one of those situations where I keep trying to get people to watch it but they won't, because it's technically an 'indie film'. Yet it has better production value than half of the Star Trek TNG movies.

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2000 word update, new content at "She let me rest for a while"

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
>no new tags

>>7242603
Snek, would you have any interest/willingness to write a MMF scene with a human male, human female and borlean male in the future? I just think it would be pretty awesome and we haven't seen anything like that before

>>7242475

I like the idea but I know fucking nothing about Starship Troopers.

>>7242475
I learned that in order to be promoted, my superior must die.

>>7242520
Nope. Sounds like i missed a great thing tho.

>>7242679
That's how most jobs work

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Can I make a request?

I'd be interested in reading a Human M x Ladydevimon fic where she slowly develops a bond for him and eventually become his lover.

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>>7242719
Will you be getting the fig when it comes out?

>>7242606
I can see MMF with two Borealans, but what's the appeal of Borealan male, human female and human male for you?

>>7242730
Dayum, I might just do that!

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>>7242733
If you live in Murrica or Europe you'll have to import it or buy it from a reseller because it's going to get hit with the same restriction that prevented the Angewomon fig from having an official release in those locations. The distributor's logic in that case was: "we're choosing not to release the fig because she has big boobs and we don't think that it's an appropriate figure for a children's show" despite it being a figure that cost in excess of 100USD (which would put it out of the reach of most kids to begin with) and Angewomon's appearance being uncensored in all dubs, meaning it's nothing a viewer wouldn't have already seen before.

If you're used to importing figs already, this shouldn't be an issue, but just thought I'd give you the heads up.

>>7242745
Thanks for the advice, man!

>>7242730
Well, that's pretty on the nose.
Do they ship those things with little booklets detailing how to clean up hotglue yet, or do they still pretend that's not what half their sales are for?

>>7242745
I always forget that angewomon and ladydevimon are fucking huge until I see them next to regular people. I mean yeah the kid's short, but that still makes those thighs like three foot long

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>>7242757
Sometimes their heights vary. Sometimes they're tall as fuck, other times they're the height of a regular adult.

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>>7242752
The last two scales I bought didn't have any such instructions, so it's still DIY on that front. I think most hotgluers buy one copy of a figure for display and one for hotgluing. As for the designs themselves, Digimon has always had and will continue to have waifubait.

>>7242745
Is it bad that the first thing I thought of when I opened this image was the "I fell on it?" scene from Scrubs

>>7242732
I gave it a bit of thought and realized that my original idea for such a scenario would probably be too gay for your tastes.

On a semi-related note, what about a MFF with two borleans and a human woman where they're both dominating the guy?

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Is there any sort of historical precedent for queens or female members of a royal family being captured and raped by a hostile force (whether invaders or rebels or whatever)?

Pic related.

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How about a story for conjoined twin Neko traps discovering masturbation, and leading to a tale of a quest to get their shared boy-pussy filled

>>7243160
If you haven't noticed, it seems you're the only one who's interested in conjoined twins. Better learn how to write then, huh?

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An ordinary guy and girl have sex like usual, except this time as he orgasms his dick grows spines like a cat's dick, and his cum inside her makes her sprout cat ears and tail. He is overwhelmed with confusion and guilt, but she actually likes being a catgirl and makes him feel better by comforting him and playing a cat for him. (Also his dick spines are not actually hard or sharp enough to hurt.)

They may or may not be back to normal after they sleep (your choice).

>>7243181
If no one's bothered to reply to you the last six times you posted this exact request, take the fucking hint and either write it yourself, or pay someone to write it because it's obvious no one wants to write your shitty idea for free

http://pastebin.com/vZ8g34bv

Posted this on /trash/ because I wasn't sure if Transformation flew here all the time or if it was too furry, but I'll give it a shot. Tags are transformation (Squirrel and rabbit specifically), FF, sizeplay, noncon, humiliation, breast expansion and butt expansion. The story is basically "someone misuses a teleporter"

I'd love some feedback; personally I think its a bit top heavy and maybe too dull but I'm not sure what exactly to change.

borlean Are bad worldbuilding.

-High gravity makes larger and taller creatures harder and harder to make work. Larger creatures also need bulkier structure to work. Having them be at minimum seven feet tall makes no sense. If they were they should have far bulkier legs. Low gravity is the one that makes taller creatures.

-Their sexuality doesn't make sense. Males are about quantity, females are quality. Having everybody mate with everybody after these fights doesn't make sense. If a superior female sleeps with a inferior male, that lowers her reproductive success. So it would make sense for the males to try to rape everything that moves, while the females only sleep with those who can dominate them.

Their feeding patterns prevents civilisation. Each step in the energy cycle leads to energy being wasted. For example the sun gives out energy, with some absorbed by plants. Plants are then eaten by creatures with only some of the energy being captured and some being spent on. Then creatures eat the plant eaters. And maybe a apex predator eats them. Bascially there are far less calories available for predators in a environment then omnivores like humans or herbivores. A real world example is that the USA wastes thousands of tons of corn and other food humans can eat, maintaining far less weight of cattle.

Incest would be rife in this society. The Polars have their big fuck piles and guaranteed to be porking their close relations. The others fuck each other all the time and there is no way to know most of the time who the father is. Incest is a bad thing for reproductive success.

Also disease should be rife through their ranks. They bleed on each, rub fur and have sex. That is a perfect disease vector. Hell they should have super crabs in their fur.

>>7243261


Literally all of this is retarded and wrong except MAYBE the first line. Are you drunk?

>>7243026
It would entirely depends on the circumstances. Nobles/royalty have power so in most circumstances hostages and prisoners tended to be ransomed but treated well, unless the assailants were certain to be above any retribution.

>>7243263
>Uh oh, someone said someone about my glorious master
>I better jump to his defence with vitriol and ad hominem, but not before I finish choking down his magnificent NEET cum

>>7243261
The fun part of porn is that you can ignore a lot of the grosser realities of the various types of sex stuff. Borealens are an alien species designed around a certain fetish and are means to getting that fetish into the story. Also, corn has no nutritional value for humans.

>>7243201
Names are changing around a lot. I noticed Anne and Mallory were used interchangeably which was annoying.

Also peremones don't work like that. They aren't magic. Espacially since some testing could be done in sealed areas.

Also what is the DOctors end plan. Just keep making gross monsters for ever?

>>7243263
How is it wrong? Do you have any rebuttals to any of the points made. Also not drunk, but I am sleepy. Which is why the wording is slightly incoherent to my normal standards. Plus IPad spellcheck is shit.

>>7243273

>Uh oh, someone disagreed with my retarded shit that doesnt make any sense and doesnt cover fictional races on fictional planets! He must be one of those Snek defenders!11!111

>>7243289
-This one I don't disagree with. I think Borealans could stand to be bulkier than what Snek has them at right now, the crushing gravity necessitates it.

-Human sexuality =/= Fictional alien race's sexuality. Argument invalid.

-Youre talking about earth environments. That shit doesnt apply to a fictional world we know very little about

-This one has no basis whatsoever, they all have plenty of choices in mates. The only Borealans we've seen who didn't were the polars in outpost, and that's because they were a tiny pack stranded in a remote and extra-harsh enviornment. We also don't know how incest affect their bodies in the first place.

-Fictional planet, fictional races. We don't know what diseases they are susceptible to or even what diseases exist on their planet.

>>7243297
So your rebuttal is "Nuh uh, it's space", completely ignoring the fact that a different environment - one that is largely identical to Earth's in that you have literally just humans with cat ears walking around with mashed up Earth cultures, not even touching the rest of the 'Earth-animal but X' ecosystem - doesn't magically change how the basics of life work.
Great. You sure got him.

>>7243297
Adding to the diseases bit with Earth animals
>sharks have such great immune system they are pretty much immune to cancer
>opossums are slightly lower body temp than most mammals which make them immune to rabies and several other diseases
>komodo dragon's mouths are fucking CDC nightmares and the animals completely fine and healthy still
>there are species of animals that can carry rabies while not suffering any of negatives of the disease
>etc
If you really want to go realistic then you'd have humans and Borealens dying from common bacteria from each other like what happened when Europeans first came into contact with Indians and such.

>>7243306
>komodo dragon's mouths are fucking CDC nightmares and the animals completely fine and healthy still
That's actually a myth, unless it being a myth is in itself also a myth, and they're not venomous either. But if you get bit by one and then track that wound through filthy water and god knows what else, it's going to get infected, which some people took as a sign that the dragons' themselves are crawling with deadly bacteria. Sort of like how people thought lemmings jumped off cliffs to their deaths, it's just misinformation and poor research.

>>7243288
Yeah, I figured that would be the case. That was really a way for me to keep track of the characters as I wrote it. I appreciate the feedback, I should probably change it to make it less grating.

>Also peremones don't work like that. They aren't magic. Espacially since some testing could be done in sealed areas.
All of the science in this story is completely bogus. I was trying to convey that at the start by having an intern cleaning a teleportation machine, but I guess I did a bad job.

>Also what is the DOctors end plan. Just keep making gross monsters for ever?
Just to experiment? She's pretty fucking nuts, so I didn't really bother giving her anything resembling a sane plan. I guess I didn't make that clear enough either.

>>7243297

It still has males and females that operate on the same general principle. Females take time and effort to give birth to and raise children. Males have even less incentive to care for their children. Thus evolutionary it would make sense for the strongest makes to breed as much as possible, while females are more selective.

How does a different planet change the fact that you can support far less carnivous creatures then you can omnivores or herbivores. Civilastion is built around concentration of population so that people can specialise. But there is no agricultural revolution (there is husbandry but hunting seems to still be a major thing).

Also there social structure plays havoc with devolping economic systems. In this society the strongest take resources from those lower in rank. Like the girl raised on earth who returns once she beat down a lot of people. Except that would prevent capital devolpment and hinder motivation. Why bother innovating, if the Alpha will just take it from you. Humanity could get past it because it had non feudal systems that worked. These guys should be stuck in a rut.

Also the no martial arts in the general population is dumb as fuck. Why would nobody try to develop fighting styles to make it easier to win? It means a life of luxery as a Alpha, instead of being at the higher ranks mercy.

They have no idea about if they would be related. So it can easily happen and likely is common. Also incest just amps up existing traits because of a far narrower genetic bottleneck. But maybe hand wavium means it is aokay.

>>7243306
Not really. Diseases are normally specific in who they affect. Even close genetic reletives would need time to make the jump across. Humans got most diseases from our fellow primates and cattle who lived densely within human society.

A different planet would have vastly different genetic structure. Like they might not even have a double helix DNA structure because life evolved independently.

Parasites could be a issue thought.

>>7243313
Maybe a hologram projected from a collar. It isn't too much of a concern really, the only major issue was the names jumping around. A minor issue would be making POV changes clearer and less jumpy.

>>7243321
Oh, I like that. The hologram idea is interesting. I was actually writing a followup that involved a collar to translate animal sounds into words (just as a minor gag, really; it would end up translating as something completely different). Maybe I could work that idea in too somehow.

And yeah, thats how I felt about the dialogue. Maybe I'll try to move it around into larger parts and make the POV switches better, thanks. I really just wrote this for a friend but I'm debating about posting it on a tumblr or something so I'd like to clean it up a bit.

>>7243026
There's a reason Boudica rose up and killed a shit ton of Romans.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boudica

>>7243315
Snek already said the overbuilding plays second fiddle to the fetish. They were made to be femdom rapecats above all else, and to hell with realism or logic.

Which does beg the question of why one would bother worldbuilding when it's just meant to justify the fetish. They don't exactly need any justification beyond "just because", you know.

Hi there! I posted a few chapters of torture porn that was fanfiction for shadbase.com a little while back, like two weeks ago. Literotica shot it down, so I was wondering if you guys could recommend other sites that might publish it?

I used to post erotica on deviantart but I haven't been there in years. Would they take it down, you think? There's a thin line between art and porn, but things are gonna get pretty vile in that story.

>>7243543
>Would they take it down, you think?
Hopefully
>>7243261
>>7243315
I'm not sure why you're so invested in tearing on literally the pornographic equivalent of a Star Trek Hat Planet Of The Week

>>7243572
Hopefully, but not necessarily? 8D

>>7243572
Because it insisted on producing all this world building that didn't make a lot of sense. if it was just the smut with the world building less focused on it would be fine. But the author insisted on elaborating on the society and biology. The author even did a non smut tour guide book to show off the world building.

>>7243321
Viral infections are highly species specific, but bacteria mostly just care that the general conditions are okay. As long as the pH balance is close enough and there are some basic organic molecules usable as nutrients, they can give it a go against the immune system.

>>7243491
>why one would bother worldbuilding when it's just meant to justify the fetish

As much as you bitch about him all the time, you're remarkably ignorant as to what attracts people to his stories and why every thread is drowned in discussion about cat aliens.

Why do you think there's no discussion about your angel story? It's not badly written, but there's nothing to get invested in, nothing to discuss, nothing to speculate about. Maybe learn something about writing from him rather than trying to put him down all the time.

>>7243315
>But there is no agricultural revolution
Yeah thee was, that's literally why they became civilized and left the jungles, why don't you read the books before you try to deconstruct it?

All of those arguments have been addressed in the stories at one point or another and you clearly haven't read them.

I'm thinking of doing something something similar, yet opposite, to what Snek is doing with his Borealens.

Like maybe these anthro mice that are aliens or genetically engineered.

Thoughts?

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Nobody wants to read stories about bacterial infections and incest.

>>7241091

What artist did the Liz artwork?

>>7243605
http://hemlockgrimsby.tumblr.com/

>>7243586
It is hard to say as we haven't interacted with any actual aliens. But yeah that does sound right. Really going off memories of high school science, which while it was well taught, Has been a while.

>>7243594
They had the first one, the transition from hunter gathers to farmers, mostly done. But there seems to be no mechanisation, no green revolution and none of the other innovations. There population should be only in the millions at best considering their far more calorie rich diet, far less efficient social structure and their more arid climate. So it seems like they just straight up skipped over a good deal of devolpment.

Also still reading them, as I read through the Pinwheel, the Polar, the merchant girl, and the tour guide. I only just found the ambassador one.

Anyway got side tracked on these society issues. One thing I meant to include is melee. Why are space empires using melee weapons? It would make sense if the sheilds were dune style ones, but only the aliens have them and they act like other sci-fi sheilds. Also they keep trying to close in with knives instead of blowing them away at range. Trying to stick a guy with a knife in a active warzone is folly, unless you are a Jedi.

Also the Pinwheel battle was a farce. The unshelled coalition forces used the Krell as damage soaks against Futrustic firepower, and apprently they only got light casualties. The Krell and Borlean are far too tough. Flesh, muscle and bone shouldn't be surviving point blank range from futristuc weapons.

>>7243596
By opposite do you mean submissive aliens?

>>7243601
Where do you think you are?

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>>7243601
Hey, we had a guy requesting botfly lremoval at one point... Granted it was the extreme exception rather than the rule, but still....

>>7243594
Divine Love was a one-shot meant to focus on the smut first and foremost, since after looking at my earlier works I was worried I was getting so bogged down in plot and worldbuilding that the smut felt like an afterthought at times.

That being said, discussion doesn't have to be limited to setting stuff. I mean you said it wasn't badly written, but were there there any scenes that you thought were stronger than others, anything I could've done better? That sort of thing.

I do appreciate Snek's way of bringing a setting to life, and I would dearly love to have that ability. The real issue is more along the lines of me objecting to the principle of a Planet of Hats; worldbuilding may make it more plausible, but it still restricts the level of characterization you can give to a given character by forcing them into a species stereotype (technically two stereotypes, since Polars exist). I understand the race was made for the basic purpose of fulfilling the fetish, but I prefer to find ways where the fetish can arise in a more natural manner than "because biology and culture say so".

tl;dr: It's a philosophical difference above all else- he goes broad with worldbuilding, I (try to) go deep with character development. If there's anything I can do to make said development better, tell me.

>>7243618

Hmmm...I'm thinking a species that focuses more on mental capabilities than physical capabilities. Maybe they are psychic? Yes, that sounds like a good direction.

Maybe there also a little of both. Both alien and genetically engineered by humans.

>>7243601
I dunno about the incest buddy, buy I really have to say that if you just went and toned down the cultural/backstory bits about the borleans to about 75% of their current levels, it wouldn't compromise any of your stories so far and would VASTLY reduce the level of handwaving/glossing over that has to be done

>>7243624
Ok that is gross.

If I was fixing the world building for the Boreleans

- Polar tribes trade children when they become sexual mature. Runt was supposed to be traded but wasn't because of the rest of the Polars being taken to earth (I found that wierd considering everybody talks of the expense of space travel and they would have long term issues with earth lower gravity. But whatever). So the Human is actually encouraging incest., as the whole tribe is considered one family. Or keep the nervous thing as he was freshly traded and then his former clan disappeared. Just throw that into the tour guide. Also because of the hunter gatherer lifestyle they don't have to worry as much about disease. Disease is rife in areas of higher density (Like Eurasia and North Africa) or in the areas where we evolved (Sub Suharan Africa). Cold also hampers disease .

For the rest, maybe they fuck normally the rest of the year, with sex being a bonding and social maunvering. However during the breeding season, the females are then more selective and pick one father for that season. The father is still distant like other felines but knows that is his cub. Might be interesting to have a human witness the festival.

Also a idea I had got this universe is one of the runts of the society working a admin role on the Pinwheel trying to find a human, to dominate because they have gone their whole life being pushed around. Of course they don't really know how and have been on the receiving end of every sexual encounter.

>>7243630
I'm just saying you complain about his popularity in every thread yet seem unable to gasp why his stuff inspires so much discussion.

It's popular despite your criticisms, and your own work isn't, so doesn't that alone tell you that you need to reevaluate your position? I'm not saying you have to like it, but you absolutely should evaluate it and try to understand what makes it popular, then apply those elements to you own stories.

You say you want to develop characters (implying Snek doesn't) but Divine Love is only 5000 words long and most of that is sex, so where is this lauded character development?

Again your stuff isn't badly written by any means, and I'm not trying to imply that, but you seem incensed that people don't discuss your work. Surely you understand that there's nothing to discuss about you stories? They can be read and enjoyed for what they are, but there's nothing to keep people coming back. No interesting OC setting, no recurring characters, no politics or drama to speculate about.

>>7243635
But that's what I enjoy writing about, and what my readers enjoy reading and discussing.

There has to be some suspension of disbelief otherwise the story would just be:

>Sir we have discovered a habitable planet 75LY fom Earth
>excellent, send an expedition
>ok but it will take 80 years because FTL travel violates the laws of physics as we know them

>Captain we have arrived at the planet, the previous generation died of old age in transit but we can complete the survey mission
>ok let's send down a landing party

>we're back Captain
>what did you find?
>well the planet's ecosystem cannot support complex life, and Jenkins ripped his suit on a rock and died of septic shock due to bacterial cross-contamination that we couldn't treat with antibiotics
>oh well, let's go home then

~FIN~

>>7243644
As I mentioned, Divine Love was meant to be smut-centric, an exception to the rule I used for myself. I had received prior criticism that the smut was the weakest part of my work, and this was meant to address that. You can at least tell me if it did or not.

Besides, what stops people from leaving feedback to a fic they've read just because it's not part of a series? Not discussing a fic when there's nothing to discuss and not even leaving the bare minimum of feedback are two entirely different things- the former is understandable, but the latter is just rude.

>>7243651
I don't mean go full retard like you're describing, but would it really change anything about borleans if the majority of who's the boss questions were resolved by posturing and eyeballing each other? And since humans don't know the context, their reaction usually looks a lot like "yes, I'd like to fight about it" to a borlean.
It wouldn't really change anything but it would make their society much less of a violent mess and more orderly

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>>7243543
AO3 takes anything except hate speech directed at users and images of bestiality/pedophilia (written works are fine). If I look at my list of bookmarks, one of the first I see is anal vore snuff with bestiality. They really don't give a fuck as long as you're not abusing or harassing other users and unless you're writing for a fanbase with ultra sensitive special snowflakes, the readers won't be complaining either.

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>>7243601
>Nobody wants to read stories about bacterial infections and incest.

"B-but that's forbidden love!' Said Ms. Streptococcus, checking out his strepto-cock. "We split from the same nucleus!"

"That's what makes it so..." Mr. Pox leaned in and touched her RNA, her cilia standing up on her necklike extension. "Sick."

For having only a single cell, the part of the cell that resembled a penis was big. It was almost NOT microscopic.
---
What the hell is wrong with me!?

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>>7243701
Eh, I've seen worse.

>>7243701
Poxes are viruses, D. They don't have cells. If you're going to do this, at least get the details right.

>>7243710
>Poxes are viruses, D. They don't have cells. If you're going to do this, at least get the details right.

Mr. Pox is just what the lady-cells call him. If they're nasty. No need to clap, ladies. He's already The Clap.

(yeah, I don't know shit about microbiology. go figure)

>>7243651
Nobody complains about space travel. Even the hardest of Sci-Fi hand waves that. The discussion is mostly on the society. Overly miltrastic societies don't really care that well in developing, espacially if the whole species is like that.
Also while it isn't necessary I would like Xeno fiction with less standard sexual parts. One idea I saw was females/ the receiving partner to have a smal outie, which is pushed into the body by the other sexual partner. So you could have either the standard male-female alien or have a single gender which could take turns. Of course this is far too late to add for your story, but if anybody wants to adopt it for any of their aliens, you are more then welcome.

>>7243667

Is your story the one where the Hunan helper gets rewarded by their Angel buddy? Which consists of normal sex and then sky sex. Anyway the hints to the rest of the world building are fine, but there isn't a lot to comment on. Over half the fic was focused on the smut. Add more stories.

>>7243667
But the readers have no obligation to fluff your ego, that's not what they're here for. They're here to read stories, and if you capture their imaginations with a world they can become immersed in, make them care about characters and events, and give them things to discuss and speculate about, they won't just leave feedback, they'll drown the thread like you see with Snek's Borlean stuff or D.'s Croc stories.

Again you seem angry that people don't discuss your work, but you refuse to learn from other authors and apply those lessons to your own writing in order to stimulate the discussion you want to see.

Honestly it comes off as a superiority complex, you complain about more successful authors, yet you insist (often very passive-aggressively) that your own work is superior and that the readers are just being rude or disruptive when they refuse to acknowledge that and give you the praise you seem to think you deserve.

Clearly your technical superiority is not as self-evident as you think it is, or people would be discussing your stories, right? So you can either keep complaining about Snek thread after thread, or you can take a look at what people like about his work, and try to apply those themes to your own writing.

If you're as good as you think you are, it shouldn't be a problem to outdo him, right? You need to be open to learning new things and you can't do that if you're jealous.

I'm sorry to be harsh but better fics that inspire more discussion can only benefit the community, and all that's holding you back is your own hubris.

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>>7243701
>viruses forcibly impregnating healthy cells with their zombie offspring

>>7243667
AA, divine love was good, the smut was good. I'd suggest writing one or two more pure smut stories for practice and then kicking off to a bigger thing with a bunch of worldbuilding and smut.

>>7243721
I think we have different definitions of discussion; I meant discussion in the sense of "saying what you liked or disliked, giving criticism as to how it could be improved, and so on", not "speculating about the vagaries of the setting, hypothetical situations that might happen within it, and possible plotlines". It's not about getting praise so much as getting people to say what I could do to be better and what I did right- the absolute bare minimum of feedback. I can't improve when I don't even know what it was that I did right or wrong.

I'm not Snek. I can't write like him. I've tried privately, but it was a complete mess that doesn't deserve to be posted here. Trying to ape his style would do me more harm than good.

>>7243727
I'm just worried that if I do make more pure smut stories, nobody will care for the reasons mentioned by the other anons. Do you think I like having to beg for feedback so often?

Plus, while I did have a series with worldbuilding as well as smut, it got minimal discussion even when it was new. At the time, I assumed it was because it was too vanilla and didn't have enough smut to get people's attention, while everyone seemed to want the more extreme fetishes that I still do not feel comfortable writing but which Snek was willing to do. But if the demand really is for setting and story over smut, I'll gladly oblige and pick up work on the series in question again. The old fics probably need a rewrite at this point, too.

>>7243736
I think the trick is that you posted divine love in bits, which doesn't really work.
Pure smut does well and gets responses when somebody shows up with a finished thing and drops it straight in.
Storys with worldbuilding and such work with scattered updates as long as something interesting happens with each one. That's the key here. You gotta work with the 4chan pace to get reception here. I'm not trying to be insulting at all, but have you considered writing fanfiction for a future story? It may help with some of the things that annoy you and the FF crowd are used to a much slower pace than 4chan, so there's that as well
>>7243722
Speaking of worldbuilding, wouldn't there logically be a greenband around the polar ice caps on borleas, same as around the lakes? I imagine it would have a northern-canada esque climate and probably be home to some rather interesting borleans. That might be interesting for another author who wants to write something in the universe

>>7243747
Let's not go down that road, eh? It already killed the star wars lewd general over on /aco/

>>7243742
>I think the trick is that you posted divine love in bits, which doesn't really work.

I was trying to do what Snek normally does when he makes updates. But it seems that I applied it in the wrong way.

>have you considered writing fanfiction for a future story? It may help with some of the things that annoy you and the FF crowd are used to a much slower pace than 4chan, so there's that as well

For all the griping I do here, FF is probably even worse. Even if it was conducive to original settings, the community would drive me insane in days.

>>7243747
That's a bit uncalled for. Every writer works at their own pace, and just because they can't update as often doesn't mean they aren't working as hard

>>7243757
When I do a sex scene I usually try to get as much of it done as possible and do like 5000 words in one sitting. If I don't have time I'll make sure the scene ends on a completed sex act. Let's say you have a fairly average 6000 word sex scene, you could break that up into three sex acts each with a duration of 2000 words.

In that way you can compartmentalize scenes and give people a section to read that has a satisfying conclusion, yet have it be part of a larger scene.

It's not a question of speed or quantity, if it takes you a week to write a satisfying sex scene that's fine, you just have to be strategic about when you post it if you want to garner interest.

>>7243742
That's right, there would logically be a gradient between the desert and the ice cap, and I'm retarded for never having thought of that.

>>7243757
What works for him won't necessarily work for you because you aren't him. Don't try and work in a way that isn't right for you because you think it'd be more popular
>For all the griping I do here, FF is probably even worse. Even if it was conducive to original settings, the community would drive me insane in days.
That's completely true, I just suggested it on the off chance you didn't mind

>>7243768
>2000 word sex act
How do you pull that off without repeating yourself.

>>7243779
Switching from PoV is the easiest way.

>>7243779
I probably do repeat myself quite a lot, lol.
Break out Thesaurus.com and try to vary your wording, try to think of novel acts or positions to spice things up, which is facilitated by writing about monstergirls or aliens for obvious reasons.
Sex is by its nature repetitious, so you have to make sure the words you use to describe it are less so.

Example of two sentences that are basically saying the same thing but are novel because of the choice of words:

>she pressed her head down on his throbbing member, taking him deep into her throat and twisting her warm tongue around his tender glans

>she took him into her warm mouth, forcing his pulsing erection deep into her gullet and winding her slippery organ around its sensitive tip

Same act, but novel wording.

>>7243768
Another geohydrodynamic point about borleas; it would have a fuckton of mountains. Like, as earth has islands, it'd have mountains, since there's no water to cover them. You'd have MASSIVE ranges of mountains and amazingly deep rifts all over the planet, wherever the tectonic plates meet. From space it'd look like the planet is covered in scars

>>7243768
And how would you apply it to the worldbuilding elements? I'm naturally inclined to be parsimonious with those things; to me, if a detail about the setting isn't plot critical or serves to keep the story going, it's something that's probably not worth the effort to explain. Granted, I can appreciate the little details that bring a setting to life, but I feel that if I spend too much time on them, the main story will be drowned under all those "little details" and the fic as a whole will lose focus.

Between that, a general aversion to purple prose, and preferring not to use a lot of words to say very little, it's not a surprise I end up with shorter word counts. I'd like to bring them up but don't know how to do it without inadvertently entering the "who gives a shit" territory.

So how do you tell the difference between not enough worldbuilding and throwing in things that just come off as window dressing or unnecessary distractions? I've always preferred erring on the side of the former, but now I'm not as sure if it really is the lesser of two evils.

>>7243772
Yes, I know. Though it's not really about popularity so much as being able to know people give a shit about my work, it sure feels like a popularity contest at times.

>>7243792
That's some cool imagery, they did visit a mountain range in Fineprint so I can probably tie that information into it, thanks.

>>7243798
Well for a start I don't think trying to inflate word count is a good objective, if you want a high word count you should be telling stories that require it, not trying to stretch out a smaller story.

That said you can do a lot not only to use more words, but to make the sentence more engaging.
For example why write:
>he looked left and shielded his eyes from the sun
when you could write:
>he turned his head to the left, bringing up his leathery hand to shield his weather-beaten face, grimacing as he squinted his eyes against the harsh sunlight
It's not so much about just writing more, but painting a more detailed picture for the reader. The little details do matter and really add to the world, you can drip feed information that way while avoiding overbearing exposition.
For example take this fictional character I just described, now the reader knows he's gnarled and leathery without you needing to describe him in a very flat and unnatural way.
Sex scenes are the same, the devil is in the details, the more you describe what is happening the more complete picture a reader will create in their mind.

>So how do you tell the difference between not enough worldbuilding and throwing in things that just come off as window dressing or unnecessary distractions?

That's a lot harder to answer, for me it's just a feeling, probably because I've pored over so many sci-fi novels in my time. If I were writing anything in an academic capacity I could say I've had 20 years of study lol.

>>7243787
>>7243792
And now that I think about it, the combination of massive mountains and the wet zones around the poles could produce some very interesting climste zones and rain shadow effects, too

>>7241511
The author goes by wind14 in futa palace and has more similar stories
Probably one of my favorite authors
He was on a hyper dicks threads on /d/ some time ago
If you know about any other similar stories pls share

>>7243827
I understand that kind of thing, though it doesn't come to me naturally. It's the worldbuilding balance that seems to be the problem. For example, in Divine Love I could have spent a couple paragraphs on how angels and demons worked at the beginning, but it would've ultimately been little more than a distraction since everything it would end up discussing would be totally irrelevant. I've tried not to make the setting for Electric Sleep and it's sequels (which best embody what I want to try and focus on) overly sparse or bare, but I don't feel the need to explain how AIs are designed or the exact details of how society is set up because that information would have no bearing on the plot as a whole. I put it in a supplement document that's up on the wiki, but had I presented it in the fics it would have likely disrupted the flow of the work. After all, the characters are people who you'd expect to know those things already, so I couldn't present it as a newcomer being exposed to something unknown without making them look like idiots.

>>7243862
Like I demonstrated, you can avoid dreary exposition if you drip feed that information through the regular dialogue and interactions. I agree that having to explain things at length would slow the plot down and be boring, so don't do that! Take that information that you want to convey to the reader, and slip it into the story and dialogue.

If you have characters who are expected to know this mundane knowledge, then have them talk about it, have them reference those things, think about them. It feels a lot more organic if you can deliver information that way.

Let's say you want to convey to the reader how an AI is made. Rather than have a block of text just telling them, you could have an engineer character service one and reflect upon the complexities as he does so. Or he could be asked a question by a less knowledgeable character and have to explain aspects of it (though avoid characters who exist solely to have exposition spouted at them).

>>7243872
Hey Snek can I ask why the rape cat's are accepted in society if they are such (please pardon me) assholes to everyone?

It seem like any large conglomerate of civilized species would just blacklist their planet because of the Borealan's open aggression towards everything. (Kinda like the how the Yahg were barred from Citadel space in ME)

>>7243891
Well they are essentially blacklisted, nobody goes to Borealis and nobody really wants to interact with them, that was the joke with the Tourism Guide thing, as nobody in their right mind would ever go there voluntarily. Same reason Dennis got the job as ambassador despite being unqualified, everyone else wised up. They show up in the UNN in small numbers and with limited interaction with other species. Even then they're only occasionally serving in mixed units.
The stuff I write represents the uncommon scenario where one goes AWOL and rapes a humie because that's what I'm into, but those situations would be extremely rare in the grand scheme of things.
Not rare enough to be unknown, but most human soldiers are never going to see a Borelan, never mind be in a compromising situation with one.

Those who are forced to deal with them recognize their shitty attitude but tolerate them because of their combat prowess. They can and do turn the tide in extreme situations.

File: JoinNow!.jpg (155KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

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>>7243891

>>7243840
I don't know anything about it I don't have any similar stories either all the stuff I got was from here.

Ricky's New Mommy
Tags: [MxF, Gentle Femdom, Amazon, Mini-Giantess, Lactation]
New update!

Sorry about lack of updates, threads on other boards and video games kept me distracted, plus we're at the least-smuttiest chapter.
More to come TODAY.

>>7243872
Thing is, at the time those fics were written no situations like that would've fit into my plan for the story without being clearly forced for the purpose of exposition, and the unspoken question of "what does this even have to do with the plot?" would've remained unanswered. Call it a hangup, but I feel like people don't just talk about things randomly for no reason other than to inform an audience they can't possibly know exists.

It's that part which I have the most trouble with- when I do try to write that kind of thing, I either become unable to shake the feeling that it would just get skimmed over by people who just wanted to get to the plot (or to the smut), or find the writing going on a completely irrelevant tangent whose presence actively detracts from the work and has nothing to do with what's actually happening. Imagine if Fineprint turned into an anthropological treatise on Borealean culture and it's developememt over the past 5 centuries while totally ignoring everything else, and you get the general picture.

Using a less knowledgeable character to ask for the readers would've been even more obvious, since one of the MCs had explicitly been characterized as not having the patience to deal with those kinds of people and the other would sound like a talking Wikipedia entry and be roughly as entertaining to read.

Perhaps I should consider revising them now; it's been nearly 2 years since I first wrote the first one. Odds are I could think of something to improve in some way to make it more conducive to worldbuilding, but I don't know if that would actually make more people want to read it. What do you think?

>>7243891
I figured that they were more like the Krogan- aggressive, but easily manipulated and too proud to realize that they're being taken advantage of by a civilization that could wipe them out at will.

>>7243950
>Call it a hangup, but I feel like people don't just talk about things randomly for no reason other than to inform an audience they can't possibly know exists.

Well that's your problem. You make sure it's relevant, a thing you want to build, and natural. Snek's example of an engineer having an inner monologue or explaining his activities to a less informed person are perfectly normal and happen every day. Have you ever asked anyone to explain anything? Sought out a book or online article about something you didn't know and needed to? Asked someone doing something a question about what they were doing? Thought to yourself as you did something? It works just like that. These conversations are normal, every day occurances, and sometimes even happen just because people are bored or lonely.

>>7243902
What is the technological limit of humanity at the moment? (In the pinwheel-verse)

Does anyone like this?

>Human is taken prisoner by Monstergirls.
>As they bring him to the dungeon, he notices that his dick is getting hard.
>It starts throbbing, then he cums.
>As he's struggling against his bonds, the Monstergirl carrying him explains that constantly ejaculating is a side effect of being near so much Demonic Energy. A lot of high level Monstergirls guard this prison.
>He's going to be cumming nonstop until they release him.

>>7243902
To be honest, it seems like their ability to be socialized into not complete assholes is incredibly variable from borlean to borlean and story to story.
I feel like the logical move for humans would just be to recruit shittons of borleans and only keep the most non-asshole 10% for actual service and just send the rest home or use them for kamikaze missions or whatever

>>7244012
Suicide missions would be the only mission type I would send Borealan's on.

Either they miraculously succeed using ferocity and brute force letting me be happy about a successful mission, or they all die.....and I'm still happy.

Basically it means that regardless of who lives or dies, I will be a happy camper in the end.

>>7244012
>their ability to be socialized into not complete assholes is incredibly variable from borlean to borlean

Yep, that's accurate. Just like with people, temperament and disposition can vary between individuals. The integration program on the Pinwheel is an attempt to screen them and only allow those who can socialize to advance into the military, of course it has varying success rates.

>>7244001
Probably pretty comparable to Halo or Starship Troopers. It's not a Star Trek utopia, but they have FTL travel, energy weapons are available, medical technology is advanced enough that they can graft robotic prosthetics.

>>7243950
>>7243987
this

It's up to you to work exposition into your stories in a way that feels organic, I can only give examples of how I handle it.

>>7244026
You'd be a shit general wasting shock troopers and resources

>>7244033
Who said anything about supplies or training?

>>7244045
Wow, you're even more shit than I first thought. It's like I'm talking to a general in charge of the Imperial Guard.

>>7243987
Maybe I'm just really bad at writing them then, because when I read the results of me trying things like that, they keep coming off as varying flavors of

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsYouKnow (had to link that, difficult to describe the general impression it leaves on me otherwise)

Either I'm doing something very wrong without noticing it, or I haven't the foggiest idea of how to go and portray the things you listed despite them being so normal, and either way it doesn't do me any favors. The fact that said characters I discussed are either people who've known those things for years and don't really have a reason to bring it up out of nowhere (and who would be more likely to tell anyone asking him what he was doing to leave him alone than answer them) or literally have the information programmed into them does not help, since it means the only things they wouldn't know are almost certainly trivia not worth mentioning in the fic. Even the inner monologue thing doesn't seem to come off quite right since said information is so basic from the characters' prospective that it's not even something they'd think about without explicit prompting. It's like me suddenly thinking about how I'm able to type this, it sounds and feels ridiculous to contemplate something that barely even needs thought to do.

Is there any other kind of exposition mechanism I haven't learned about? Because so far all of these seem to need the characters to be idiots, amnesiac, or simply newcomers to the general setting they're in (e.g. Dennis being newly promoted with no experience, Stanley not knowing about the Borealean culture), and in this case none of those is applicable. I can't be the only person whose written a scenario like that, can I?

>>7244032
I feel like it'd be vastly more logical and efficient to do the screening and groundwork on borleas rather than having to truck the failures both ways.
This brings up a good question, though. Just how far above the borlean average level of empathy is Raz. Top 10% top 1? One in a thousand?

If you really can't fit exposition nicely into a plot, the exposition doesn't need to be included at all.

>>7244053
I feel like Raz was more dumb luck.
>being pared with a human who could work with her/has a fetish
>being dropped to 0 in pack standing
>etc

>>7243596
>>7243634

Anybody want to collaborate or something on this?

>>7244057
Yeah, but she does make the empathetic breakthrough of "oh, we shouldn't act like borleans towards humans because it's fuckin terrible by their standards" pretty fucking quickly once it's explained to her. I was just wondering how usual that would be, especially once the pinwheel training program kicks into gear

>>7244068
She's also the first one to come up with "rape the humans" is the best way for Borealens to make friends with them and actively encourages new Borealens she trains to do so.

Any more authors want to give rehosting permission on https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page before I do another wave of rehosting?

>>7244070
>I forgot about this site already until you brought it up just now
well that doesn't bode well

>>7244051
Maybe you need an example.

>Gerry wiped his brow as he removed the panel from the console, shining his flashlight into the complex inner workings of the AI hub. He reached inside, trying to identify the problem that was preventing it from booting up, but his gloved fingers would barely fit between the cooling units and heat pipes. Why did they have to make the damned things so small? He understood that the quantum circuitry required to run the complex and expensive systems was almost microscopic in scale, but it didn't require them to pack the console so tightly. This was an artificial intelligence tasked with managing fleet maneuvers, not a consumer-grade handheld designed to trawl news feeds or pull up cooking recipes, there was more than enough space in the console to make it easier to service.

See how you can turn something as simple as a guy doing maintenance into exposition?

>>7244073
Probably because >>7241068

>>7244051
I think the thing is to give characters opinions on the things you want to mention, instead of just explaining them.

Like, it's not here's how the robots work, but how the engineer knows they'd be much more reliable if only they'd listened to his proposal instead of that freshly-graduated know-it-all who hasn't soldered anything in his life. (and how you portray it could make him appear sympathetic, or a grumpy get-off-my-lawn type of person, or a conspiracy nutjob, whatever)

Warning: does not actually know anything about writing

>>7244082
>does not actually know anything about writing
he says while writing
But seriously, those are decent ways to more smoothly insert lore dumps.

>>7244047
They have no value to me unless they're killing my enemies or killing themselves and in this situation they would be doing both.

They are insubordinate by nature and hold no militaristic value other than brute force.

I'm not trying to complete a mission I'm trying to get rid of problems, this is a simple and cost effective way of doing it.

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2000 word update, new content at " I stood at the bottom of the massive ramp"

Snek 4
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
>no new tags

>>7244107
Even more retardation with 0 combat/tactics knowledge and edgyness.

>>7244113
I could sort of see using borleans a bit like the spartan IIIs from Halo, that is for vital missions to destroy enemy infrastructure that necessitate extremely tough shock troops with very low survival odds, that at least makes some sense, but that guy is just dumb

>>7244113
>>7244114
It seems like this fella >>7244107 wants the Borleans dead more than anything else. Maybe they're thinking of it as an enemy of my enemy type deal.

>>7244051
>Even as the semi-anonymous user typed away, he didn't bother to reflect upon the intricacies of his actions, something incredibly complicated blown away as mundane. Though he put no thought into it it was an ability he had learned, how to accurately hit the keys that would allow him to form words people millions of miles away would eventually read. Some learned on their own, hunting and pecking, but he'd learned the standard method, in the hopes that it was truly the more efficient way to go about it. That meant that every time he stopped his fingers returned to 'home' keys in the center before springing out like spiders, rather than wandering freely as he typed.

>He didn't know that describing things as ;already known' or 'common knowledge' was a form of worldbuilding. What people know varies, and if what they know doesn't vary, how they feel about it does. He might have also missed something vital: Nobody wants to hear about people who already know everything. Half of the fun in reading was in learning, and listening to two geniuses describe how much they knew was the literary equivalent of watching two dudes jerk off.

>But in the interest of not wandering too far, the point was made, hopefully, succint. Things taken for granted are a form of worldbuilding as well and deserve description, and that having your characters know 'everything' is the antithesis to having interesting developments.

>>7244077
I guess so, though there wasn't actually any incident like that in the fic that would've come close to that.

Still, I think I get the principle though I'll have to stretch it some; in retrospect, defining all the characters as being competent enough not to need to go over that information while lacking the personality needed to teach it to other people.

>>7244192
Point taken. But at the same time these characters are specifically meant to be good at what they do. If they didn't know those things, then logically they wouldn't be in their current positions and so the story would never happen in the first place. I'd sidestep the exposition issue by doing that, but then I'd open up a much larger plothole in explaining why a veteran engineer who's been doing his job for several years doesn't know how FTL communications functions.

Was I mistaken in trying to buck the trend of "protagonists are always naive or dumb"? Because that's in part why I made them what they are- after a while, it gets irritating to see the heroes of any original story being depicted as being clueless about how their own world works.

>>7244236
Read many William Gibson books. Look at how he solves your issue, take inspiration

The recent entries google sheet has an incorrect link. "You Are Who You Want To Be" is a duplicate link of the above entry.

>>7244236
I feel like, again, you're looking really hard at what we're telling you and learning nothing.

On the first front: Capability does not negate the ability to build upon it. I worldbuilt the ability to type and even explained that it was 1. common and 2. people do it different ways, and how you, our hypothetical character, chose to do it. An engineer looks at the machine he's working on and notes this or that isn't working properly, and how it's going to affect some other thing. That's explaining to an audience about how this thing works, even if it's all in his head! People 'talk' to themselves conciously or not, especially when problem solving, working over the problem to see where the actual issue lies. This might be a problem for you, but this is how normal people solve problems and do their every day jobs and activities. They even plan out shopping trips in their heads, even if it takes seconds, it explains the layout of the store to anyone who had the ability to look inside. Like an audience. He can know how it works, describe how he's using the ship's FTL communications. What he needs to do to tune it or whatever.

This brings me to the second point. If it's not super important to the story, don't spend time explaining it. You even said this yourself, it doesn't all need to be explained. Unless his FTL communications are the focus of the story (phone sex long distance? idk) we don't need to know the deep technology behind it. No one cares about how a toaster works until it's broken or otherwise becomes a plot item for your story.

Also quit trying, again, to pedastal yourself and whinge about how you were 'mistaken' in trying to 'buck' the 'dumb protagonist' trend. Plenty of media has intelligent or capable protagonists. The story just sometimes involves them dealing with something they never have, or in ways they haven't previously done. 'Speaking' this way makes you constantly insufferable to read sometimes.

Anyone here interested in doing a monsterboy request?

>>7244259
>I feel like, again, you're looking really hard at what we're telling you and learning nothing.

If I'm learning nothing, it's not for lack of trying. I'm just struggling to reconcile what you're saying with what I had intended my characters to be and how to keep their expertise from becoming an informed attribute. It's not an easy concept for me to understand, but I don't disagree with it either.

>An engineer looks at the machine he's working on and notes this or that isn't working properly, and how it's going to affect some other thing. That's explaining to an audience about how this thing works, even if it's all in his head! People 'talk' to themselves conciously or not, especially when problem solving, working over the problem to see where the actual issue lies.

Then I guess I never notice it because that self-talk is completely silent and unconscious when I do it, so when I put it down on paper it sounds unnatural to me.

>Also quit trying, again, to pedastal yourself and whinge about how you were 'mistaken' in trying to 'buck' the 'dumb protagonist' trend

That wasn't my intent, it was simply me grumbling about a trend I had perceived at the time of the fic's writing.

All that aside, I probably was being inflexible again; I am increasingly suspecting that the fics in question are in serious need of rewriting.

On that note, I could also use advice in regards to writing good character development; looking over the characters in many of my story-centric fics in retrospect, I question why I ever settled for characters with such poorly defined personalities even as I ranted about the same thing in other people's work. It makes me a hypocrite, and I want to change that so I can live up to my own expectations.

>>7244328
Good character development really depends on the time scope of your work. A fic over a few hours won't have much time besides maybe someone changing their opinion on a few small things. A week, maybe a larger change or a bigger picture. And it really depends on what you want to develop. It's a good idea to have at least a vague idea of what should change or grow in a character.

Also we should really discuss what kind of development we're talking about, since sometimes this just means learning more about or 'deepening' your character, or an actual arc the character experiences that changes them.

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>>7244300
You would probably be better served writing out the actual request and seeing if someone takes it rather than asking if someone will write it without saying what it is you want.

>>7244345
> It's a good idea to have at least a vague idea of what should change or grow in a character.

Several things, really- in some ways it's more like giving them something to develop rather than just developing what they have. Since the Electric Sleep series is the one I'm planning on overhauling since it's got the most coherent setting (and which I hope to expand somehow after the original story arc concludes), I'll use the characters from that as examples. For what it's worth, I guess both the deepening version and the arc version of the character development apply here.

With the character of Chares (the male lead) I've realized I didn't really do much to give him a personality beyond "veteran" and "little patience with inexperienced coworkers", as I was describing above (which also hamstrung the worldbuilding in the process). The speed in which he gets comfortable with taking Thesis (the female lead, and a robot) as his lover also now seems abrupt; younger me thought it would create suspense in a manner of "will they or won't they" by not making it clear if he reciprocated her feelings for him, but that was a missed opportunity to explain his side of the relationship.

While the first thing that comes to mind in regards to fixing the "telling instead of showing" is showing him losing his temper with his junior coworkers not being as skilled as he is and having it bite him in the ass later, I'm concerned that'll just make him look like an unsympathetic douchebag. How could I develop that arc to make him start to grow out of that impatience without making his first impression on the audience a bad one?

>>7244383
You give him a good reason to be such a hardass (maybe an inexperienced coworker died on his watch and he blames himself?) and/or have him regret it and express this regret somehow later. Just punishing him for his action (having it bite him in the ass) does not show any development on his part, just maybe a bit of karma. If you want that to be a part of him, show him recognizing this flaw, having a reason for it, and then maybe trying to work over it if you have the time.

>>7244346
I was mostly seeing if there was anyone interested in doing requests at all.
But fair point.

The basic premise is a MMF threesom between an adventurer, a dragonboy and the princess who he's been dispatched to "rescue" from a "dragon", who turns out to just be her boyfriend. They invite the adventurer to stay with thm for a while, him being proper embarrassed about the misunderstanding, and a bisexual threesome ensues

>>7244401
Right. I was worried that the first impression would sour opinions on him too badly to be recovered. Well, I didn't expect this rewrite to be simple, but at least it has to be faster than writing an entirely new thing from scratch...Right?

>>7241091
An alternative to the Worlds Apart epub would be appreciated. Can't get the download to work.

>>7244475
Really, you can't get it to work? Works fine for me.
I made a Mega account on a throwaway email, see if this works:
https://mega.nz/#!bcpACYqC

>>7244481
Wait that needs a key, try this;

https://mega.nz/#!bcpACYqC!CdE98CHyzsnwBMuQ4BzZjd3GXi6AZOv0dbiUd-ZLgs4

(this is why I use Patreon for hosting lol)

>>7244482
Man, finishing Snek 3 made me really look forward to 4. I was imagining the mc awkwardly trying to talk around his sex life with Vi to some overly enthusiastic, attractive scientist asking about every little detail until he finally tells her about being dominated every night and she makes him go into more and detail about that.
But you started with a huge tine skip : (
Now I'm depressed.

>>7241091

Has anybody uploaded the Liz artwork to e621.net yet? Cause if not, then I am.

can i make a request?
a slave or servant is forced to rim a female (human or monster) and lap the cum from her hole as she 'feeds' him cum.

>>7243947
You forgot the paste dude.

>>7245116
The man knows what he likes.

>>7245101
Probably not!
Artist is: http://hemlockgrimsby.tumblr.com/

Snek reminded me I yet have to play Xcom 2.

Well, off I go.

Finally figured out why fourleaffics was reporting only 1 valid article. Turns out mediawiki by default only counts articles as actual articles if they have at least 1 internal link.

Sent a configuration change request so that all pages in the main namespace (except redirects) are counted as valid articles.

>>7245443

>Half of the first Xcom was "just a dream"

aaaand we're not off to a good start.

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>>7245487
Don't forget to mod it until it's unrecognizable.

I'm just going to spitball some ideas I find hot in the vain hope someone agrees with me and decides to write them.

>Couple wakes up to find they have developed some sort of sensory telepathy, meaning they feel what the other feels. Hyjinks and sexual exploration ensue.

>Witch gets revenge on her cheating jock boyfriend by stealing his muscles and cock and fucking him raw.

>Staight guys wakes up to find he is no longer straight and that he is living in some sort of twillight zone reality where homo is the norm. He still has his original memories.

>Hypnotist couple go to greater and greater lengths to establish themselves as the dom of the relationship through bizarre plans and lewd mental traps.

>Guy is cursed with a growing cock. Its awesome until its not.

>>7245487

It wasn't a dream, all of the missions you did were simulations from the aliens to harvest combat data to use against humans. Don't worry though, later on in the story you make the aliens regret that technique extremely hard when you use it against them.

>>7245558
>>Guy is cursed with a growing cock. Its awesome until its not.

When would that stop being awesome?

"My cock mass is now the entire universe. The only thing left to turn into more cock... is the rest of me. I hope part of my cock retains the memories and won't make any wishes on any cursed monkey claws again, but all the magic cursed monkey claws are also part of my universal wang. No lessons, no ethics, not even any gravity or friction. Just dong."

It's like The Last Question, but with boners. Well, one boner.

>>7245558

>Mad scientist finishes her 'hunk-in-a-bottle' formula. She kidnaps a scrawny test subject and documents his development hands on and fully thouroughly.

>>7245487
>>7245565
You can thank all the players that were shit at Xcom 1 and the devs going "since most players lost and never finished the game it's canon everyone lost in the sequel"

>>7245580
I think it's more about contriving an underdog story than that, but I enjoyed 2.

>>7245578

If the growth is not exponential, it would never reach universe size before you died.

>>7245582
They could have gone the offensive route with the story. We use all alien tech to make ships and go invade their planet and shit.

>>7245578

>When would that stop being awesome?

When it becomes big enough that you can't get off by yourself, and you have no one willing to help.

Does the Eva writefag live here?
http://pastebin.com/DcJwNfV8

>>7245590
>If the growth is not exponential, it would never reach universe size before you died.

Unless it was a REALLY fast flat rate or growth. But that would be a story like, "I wished on the monkey's paw for a bigger dick. One second later, my dick was 400,000 light years across and the earth was destroyed. I wish I hadn't done that, since I just killed everyone on earth and my stamp collection, but DAMN."

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>>7245592
That's a possibility, but then it wouldn't be "UFO Defense". One of my favorite things about the game is the progression of going from soldiers who look like rag tag operators and cheeki breekis to Halo-tier futuristic tech.
At least that's how I modded it, so my guys all started off with like knock off AKs and hobby rifles, and then by the end they're fighting alongside SPARKs reskinned as Titans and wearing MJOLNIR.

>>7245582
Yah know I never would've guessed that, after reading the five X-com 2 stories you've written.....never would've guessed that you might enjoy the game. Never.

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>>7245598
Should've posted this straight away.

>>7245558

How about a world where sex slowly tranformed you into your partner's phisical sexual ideal? and explore the ramifications? (With no silly stuff like omnipotence).

I mean, would you stay in a relationship with the love of your life if it meant turning into a human-gopher hybrid?

>>7245627
This would form a prostitution sub-industry based around figuring out what characteristics each prostitute drifts you towards, and then selling that instead of just the sex alone.

>>7245676

That is why I said ramifications

>>7241842
This request is moving along swimmingly, but... I'm actually struggling to come up with a title for it. Hopefully, I'll have a good idea before it's done.

>>7245627
>>7245676

>Secret service rounds up every guy with a GTS fetish and makes a designated sex camp to produce giant female soldiers.

>>7245700

>Warfare now involves GTS wrestling

Best timeline.

>>7245627
Here's some more:

What forms of sex result in transformations? Is there differences in rate of transformation depending on what you do?

Most people have "not old" as a sexual ideal, resulting in many people living exceptionally long lives and rarely ageing past the equivalent of 40.

Hospitals use sexual healthcare to treat patients, using staff that are adept at having a "Not having X disease" sexual ideal.

The best private education schemes give older students sexual experience with people who have a "highly intelligent" sexual ideal.

People with ideals that involve anything that could be seen as inflicting harm are socially shunned.

>>7245627

For it to be a relatable world, the change would have to be relatively recent, or the entirety of society would revolve around sex (inb4 "just like our world now").

Lets say 2012 triggered it and now its 5 years after the fact.

>>7245705

>Masturbation might or might not turn you into your idea of an ideal sexual partner.
As if puberty wasn't enough of a mess already.

>>7245705

>Hospitals use sexual healthcare to treat patients, using staff that are adept at having a "Not having X disease" sexual ideal.

That seems a bit out there.

>>7245717

>dude, where are your tits? you gay or something?

>>7245705
The idea seemed to be that it was slow and gradual, so the hospital thing probably wouldn't work because the patient would just die of exertion or their illness/injury and/or the worker would catch it from them.
Sex in general would probably have a generally higher health effect though, just not enough to be magic.

>>7245726

Could work for chronic and/or slow acting diseases.

Also STDs would be an even bigger problem.

>>7245735

>having sex with a bugcatcher in this world
jesus christ no

>>7245722
I imagined things like curing otherwise incurable, degenerative and potentially lethal diseases such as cancer. The value of that is massive.

>>7245737
>people with fetishes that involve people dying
>the people on DeviantArt in general
>all the aliens/monsters/anthros/etc made that will now walk the Earth

>>7245739

I meant finding people with that mindset.

>>7245717
I guess this is one possibility for how an entirely gay world could form.

Since we're throwing ideas around, I just have two words to say.

Sex
Jumanji

>>7245763

the "cursed boardgame" trope is a classic in transformation porn if you didn't know it already

>>7245789
How about it's like magic the gathering but each card you play transforms you and the winner fucks the loser at the end.

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2000 word update, new content at "Another blast of static washed over me"

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
>no new tags

>>7245367

WTF? Why is the site give me a server error when I try to login?

Whatever. Somebody else do it while I try to fix my account.

>>7245798

[Shadow Realm intensifies]

>>7245853
You know, I saw an old poster for a band called 'snakehips' today and it made me think of your story
And on a related note, I've got yet more worldbuilding questions about the pinwheel-verse, if you don't mind

https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Special:Statistics is now starting to count content pages correctly after my setting change request.

Prior to this, it was only counting pages with internal links as content pages. Obviously the vast majority of fics don't need internal links. This has now been changed so that any non-redirect page in the main namespace is counted.

Old pages won't be counted until they are next updated unfortunately.

How should I define "Excessive cum" without just saying "There's more cum there than is realistic"

>>7246060
It's self-explanatory, really. No need to overcomplicate things, that's my job.

>>7246060
Google 'thesaurus', have fun with your metaphors, make vivid descriptions.

>>7246060
Clearly it should be measured in standard deviations from the average ejaculation.

>>7246060

>Gallons, pints, cups, ropes, fat gobs, hosing, splashes, dribbling everywhere, leaking copiously, mouthfulls, can't swallow it all, overflow, puddles, pressure, ceeling hits raining back down, churning, fullness, need for release, blue balls, bursting, pumping, load after load.

There you have some tips.

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>>7246060
Normally, I just emphasize the large area it scatters over, how many swallows it takes to gulp it all down, occasionally using exaggerated measurements like 'gallons,' express how it overflows whatever its meant to fill, and sometimes... describing how far the come actually travels when it leaves.

>>7246131
I meant as a tag, not for writing stuff.

>>7246138

What is wrong with "excessive cum" as a tag?

>>7246144
The tag is fine. It just needed a description.

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>>7246138
I almost asked if you meant tags.

(checks my tags)

...I haven't actually ever tagged my works for large amounts of come. Though they definitely have that.

Evidently, I am the wrong person to ask.

>>7246150

Focus on large eyaculations (sometimes paired with the fake pregnant belly)

>>7245904
I'm around, I'll see it tomorrow if I can't respond tonight.

>>7246174
Alright, the first thing is basically tell me everything about the Krell, they seem cool, and it would make sense for a few of the human-krell-borlean integrated units to end up on borleas for leave. Plus they'd make logical embassy guards on borleas because they can fuck up the locals easily if they start shit.
And what's the weather like? I assume it's pretty fucked up due to the way the planet is, but do you have any specific ideas beyond the cold snaps?
And what's the rough industrial level? They don't have spaceships or TV, but do they have radio or aircraft or cars? Hell, do they even have fucking electricity?

>>7244482
Sadly, there has to be something wrong on my end, because it's still not working. I have no idea where to start looking.

>>7246243
Krell would never go to Elysia unfortunately, it's hot and arid and they're amphibious so they would dry out and die unless they could stay near the lake, and the embassy is in the city center. I'm planning a kind of swamp/mud planet for them.

The weather is hot and dry, think Iraq or Saudi Arabia, the jungle is humid and stifling. I would assume the lake, desert and jungles interact in some pretty big ways and form all kinds of microclimates and shit like that, but I'm not knowledgeable enough on that subject to speculate.

They have electricity, cities aren't really laid out right, or large enough for cars like we use them. Try not to think of technology as a linear progression, different cultures value different things and breakthroughs can be very random. It's pretty clear that the Borealans don't value academia or intellectualism the same way we do, but that doesn't make them stupid or uneducated, just means they have different priorities.
I'd imagine the general level of technology is around late 19th century, but less of a focus on industry and vehicles, they have everything they need within the territory and long range travel just doesn't make sense to most of them.

>>7246255
That's a shame, and 4chan blocks other file hosting sites as spam, so I don't have any alternatives for you.

>>7246322
>Krell would never go to Elysia unfortunately, it's hot and arid and they're amphibious so they would dry out and die unless they could stay near the lake, and the embassy is in the city center. I'm planning a kind of swamp/mud planet for them
Ok, good to know. I knew they were amphibious, but not *that* amphibious.
I was talking more about the generel level of industrialization, which seems exceedingly low. I'm assuming they get their electricity from coal or such? Nothing else makes much sense in that regard.
Also, what's the rough sophistication level of local firearms? Their main weapons seem to be massive bolt-action or single shot rifles. I'm assuming that sidearms wouldn't be a major thing with the claws and all

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>>7246322
Adding this, crocs/gators have really powerful jaws, but only on closing. Your bare hands are more than strong enough to keep their jaws closed. Issue is, they're still several hundred pound monsters that can just shake you off. Could be funny little extra thing.

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>>7246334
I honestly haven't put that much thought into it, I assume that at this later stage the Patriarch has purchased things like power generators and other technological amenities from the UNN or from traders.

Industrialization is gonna be low, I wouldn't expect to see many factories or processing plants or things like that. I'd expect most tools and items to be hand crafted, and generally ornate as a result. You won't find rifles that don't have elaborate engravings on them and things like that, as Borealans build to last and they take pride in their work.

Yeah I don't think they'd develop sidearms, though keep in mind they put bayonets on everything. The most common weapons are going to be those large caliber bolt actions mostly used for hunting big. There will be an increasing number of XMRs coming in as soldiers return from serving in the UNN and the Patriarch stocks up on tech too.

>>7246342
That's cool, something to keep in mind.

>>7246342
I think they just gatornapped that poor bastard.

>>7246597
So what this universe truly needs are some berserker cats. Get them some pcp, or future age equivalent and run the other direction

On a side note I would be interested to see a Nordic style space race. The berserker thing got me thinking about it, maybe some good ol' space viking type aliens that acidentally bumble into the alliance v. Bugs fight and are throughly impressed by the amount of opponents and opportunities to go to space Valhalla.

>>7245582
To think that I put money on there being an Enemy From the Deep, as well.

And then I wondered if the sequel would be Enemy Beyond; where they go into space like >>7245592 said.

I haven't been this disappointed by an XCOM game since I played Xenonauts. Or since our Xenonauts-esque RPG got cancelled.

AND I STILL BOUGHT THE FUCKING THING AS WELL, WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT!?

>>7246615
Get your hands on the earliest games in the series (Enemy Unknown and Terror from the Deep) and enjoy the original experience!

Hey, just wondering if there are writers here interested in collaborating on stories for comics/manga or even a visual novel game? If any of you feel you can write about lewd stuff that contains a variety of fetishes feel free to email me. I got artists with me who are open to draw lewds. The email is the poster name.

>>7246623
I impulse-bought them ages ago but I've never got around to playing them. Like Homeworld and the first Mirror's Edge. And quite a few others, actually, I really need to stop doing that.

>>7246630
Could you elaborate a little more on what you're looking for / what you're doing?

>>7245256
Sorry, first time requesting. Not sure if it was too specific.

>>7243947
oh great an upda-

>he didn't actually post a link
fug

>>7246861
The link is already in the list.

>>72453679

Okay, so can I make it a request then?

A story about psychic anthropomorphic mice that serve as a foil to the Borealans.

Like, they're Asian looking and can have fur of all different colors. Eyes with pupils and irises. Plantigrade. Generally speaking, the amount and location of fur on their bodies is not too different from the Borealans. Their distinguishing features are the large ears on the side of their heads (like satellite dishes), whiskers, and hairless tails.

They look mostly harmless for the most part. Of course there is always the possibility of one going full Carrie or Akira.

Rumor has it that their evolutionary predecessors were much more dangerous.

>>7246342
>Adding this, crocs/gators have really powerful jaws, but only on closing. Your bare hands are more than strong enough to keep their jaws closed.

I totally make this joke in Lock, Croc and Two Smoking Barrels, where Salty Peter pinches Odile's lips shut and she can't pull her mouth open.

>>7246641
Pretty much I need a writer to help me come up with ideas or put ideas together into a story.

Currently I'm coming up with an idea for a visual novel game about the player exploring a circus/carnival for sexual deviants. This game will have a variety of fetishes and is not limited to these prominent ones:

- clown girls
- freakshows (a.k.a monster girls/monster boys)
- exhibitionism

Also another idea the group is working on is a Frankenstein creature inspired shortstack that's a "perfect shortstack for any occasion"; this will be in a form of a webcomic

An idea I had is a Mage wars set in a fantasty, mostly human setting.

Magic users have a lot of power but all of them have roughly the same amount of magic power. They can use their magic more efficiently but are still hampered by not having enough magic to fight endlessly.

However a solution was found with captured magic users, bound magically to the victor with enhanced chains. They are then used as power banks. There is a limit to how many you can control before they can overload you, and thus escape.

The first protagonist is a male Battlemage. Has had years of experience in fighting and his magic is heavily focused on the offensive. However his side get defeated with his home city undergoing a sack by a large empire. He is then bound and given to a new graduate of the Imperial Battlemage school, who is travelling to a border region on the far side of the empire.

The second protagonist is a female human, or semi human. She is inexpirenced and has been sent to a frontier region far from home. Mages are not well liked in the region and she finds it difficult to do her duties helping the garrison of the region because of her inexperience.

The garrison has to deal with a variety of enemies such as Druids (green cultists who use ents and animals to ambush patrols and burn down farms), RuneMagers (Focus magic inwards through runes to make themselves super strong and fast, but losing emotions and self preservation), and the barbarian armies across the borders who use golems of rock, metal and wood as shock troops.

They start off cold towards each other, with her taking her stress out on him. She treats him like a slave at first from the magic power pack, to being a servent and forcing him to pleasure her sexually. The two protagonists warm up to each other over time. The male one advises her in order to help her deal with many of the threats. She also stops treating him so badly and they develop their relationship.

>>7247240
From what you've briefly said I can already see that I hate the female lead with a passion.....that's not a great start.

>>7247240
I agree with >>7247561
It makes a good background for a "why is this serial killer targeting female mages" detective story, but not for a romance

>>7247717
Agreed. Plus, you have literally no reason for the female lead to act like a bitch other than "just because".

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3500 word update, new content at "There were half a dozen dead Mutons"

Snek 4:
http://pastebin.com/ZDNwTwtn
>no new tags

>>7246615
The ending hints at some greater threat that the Elders are trying to gather forces to stop, I wonder what it will be.

>>7247783
Maybe great grandad found out about space viagra

>>7247783

Yo snekguy, this is amazing. I wouldn't mind some new character that makes Vi jealous and protective of the main character if you're out of ideas, but this has been an awesome read so far.

>>7247783
and XCOM2 not-so-subtly implied a Terror from the Deep style sequel, they even used the name

>>7247783
>>7247843
It's fine, she can deflect them onto Garcia I'm sure.

>Dating advice with Vi!

Made upgrades to wiki Main Page. Mainly in the form of some quick links to the most important tags. Perhaps there's a higher priority set of categories to show there? I don't know.

36 fics catalogued so far. Been working mostly through the goog sheet so far. Would like to have permissions from additional authors for rehosting instead of just linking.

https://fourleaffics.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page

>>7248084
You sure the content page thing is working? Because it says there's only 9 pages.

Also, what happened to multi-tag searches? If anything this seems even less efficient than the google doc so far. Especially since you seem to be the only person consistently adding things to it.

>>7248096
Yes. It's working. It just doesn't retroactively apply until the old pages are updated.

>Also, what happened to multi-tag searches?

It is undergoing "extension review". I'll try asking the miraheze staff.

>>7248101
Clarification on the extension review stuff.

If no other miraheze wiki has previously used the extension the setup for it takes longer because they have to check security and such.

>Especially since you seem to be the only person consistently adding things to it.

*Subtle nudge that you should add the rest of your stuff*

>>7248116
I will, I will. But I'm still just the one guy, there's a whole lot of other people out there who haven't added any of theirs either.

Anyone got the futa pet one? Yknow, cum increasing supplements and all?

Hey, does anybody have a futa story that was posted a few months ago in their archive at all? I've checked the master list and can't find it, it was second person story where you were a girl dating another girl who was a futa, and the girlfriends family was part of a company that grew bio-strapons that let women be futa at will, I really enjoyed it and /r/ couldn't help me whatsoever, was hoping that since it came from here maybe someone still had it.

>TFW the ideas that turn you on the most are kind of weird.
>Most of them involve two or three installments being written.
>Some would probably work best as image sets rather than writing.
>You'll never see your fetishes written out or drawn.

>>7248313
start practicing fucker

>>7248313
k. No one cares

Anyone have any werewolf gal stories? Preferably where the woman doms are small boyfriend?

Read a short story were the werewolf was only big in the last two paragraphs. I have a mighty need.

>>7248317
I'm all for female werewolves (actual monsters not chicks with dog ears, while those are cute I don't count them as werewolves). The dom stuff isn't really my thing but with a human and female were couple I can see it. Even though they're both werewolves the comic "Peter is the Wolf" is kinda similar and I enjoy it thoroughly.

>>7247240
This could work as long as you give her a reason for acting like a bitch, like maybe forced to exceed or past trauma with males or something along those lines. If she is just a bitch I start thinking along the lines of "does she weigh as much as a duck? Does she float in rivers when she's tied down? "

>>7248317

This old commission of mine ticks all of your boxes. Female dom werewolf gf who is massive from day 1.

http://pastebin.com/gHyUdepQ

4chan won't let me upload docx files, so have that pastebin that leads to a download link

Is anyone interested in being commissioned to write about a cute trap with an almost complete ability to control when he cums and a few women who try to break his dick?

>>7248483
the link just leads to gibberish

>>7248495

Derp, forgot to mention to save the page to your desktop once you click it. That gibberish is your browser's attempt to open and read a docx file

>>7248521


Or alternatively, just save that link instead of opening it directly

>>7247085
wat

I'd like to request a story about a young-but-disillusioned tavern wench (she wanted more out of life) who gets surprised when the person groping her is another woman. The female adventurer ends up being the tavern wench's first girl-on-girl partner.
And maybe the wench gets convinced to join the adventurer on the road, leaving her shitty little job and life behind?

I'd prefer them both to be human (doing another girl for the first time is "exotic" enough of an experience," but the adventurer's class can be anything you feel is fitting.

>>7248610
Oh, and the wench should be curvy, preferably with long hair. She should also be tough enough to discourage the wandering hands of the average tavern goer.

>>7248313
Just commission art.
That's what I do.

As a human, I see no point in fucking something human unless I can knock them up with my pure and superior genetics. Vanilla and Daww is preferred, but ultimately optional.

Interspecies crossbreeding FTW.

FOR THE GOD EMPEROR!

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>>7248483
Nice, I'll peruse this later.

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>>7248313
Either do it yourself or pay for someone to be able to do it for you.