/efg/ - Erotic Fiction General

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>>7112903
2000 word update, new content at "They walked down the tunnel, Moralez trailing a short distance behind Azi"

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
>no new tags

>>7112475
I'm honestly surprised how much I enjoyed reading this, your writing is a bit scruffy but totally readable (you're a beginner, it's fine) but the overall scenario, the interactions between the characters, very fun, very believable. I was immediately sympathetic to Parker, all of the little touches you used to illustrate the Borealan's size and strength were great, and I feel like I should take examples from that in my own writing.
I'm flattered that you got her down so well, she's perfect, and I really liked the defib glove idea.

I feel like if you polished up the technical aspect of your writing, you could be really good.

>>7112414
I'm 90% sure linking to that stuff off-site is fine.

>>7112241
Yeah, even for me, having every species in the galaxy be rapists is excessive.

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>>7112903
>ywn be a fem-orcs sex slave
>ywn bang a Borealan

This reality sucks.

>>7112937
Welp seems like the other stories so far, all she needs to do Is fuck him 1.5 more times before he starts "feeling" for her/accepting his "m". Maybe her death interrupts the cycle?

>>7112937
Ya I'm pretty sure fur stuff is fine when it's not actually on the board.

>>7112937
Do you plan on writing more stories with Borealans after this one?

>>7112937


Fucking hell, I can die happy now. I was hoping for at least a "well your writing is okay, but <insert massive list of fuckups>

Really glad I could give YOU something fun to read in return, commissioning you was one thing but actually writing for an author I like a ton is another :D

>>7113085
After this one there might be a bit of a break, I want to do stories about a couple more races, and maybe more snek stuff.

>>7113092
Oh it was you Shiny? Yeah I enjoyed that, the concept was really good.

>>7113102

Yep! we need to bounce ideas off of each other some time c:

>>7112937
>that pic
Stop it, Our are way to similar. This is getting weird.

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>>7113102
We could always use more snek.

>>7112937
I hope Azi doesn't die.

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You know... we had that giant discussion in the last thread about how some of us don't spell it 'cum,' and how we find the word unpleasant?

Well, I just realized I use it in one context: in the word 'precum," somehow I find the word acceptable. But not by itself. I prefer 'come' in that form.

What a silly language we employ. I'm going to start my own that will not have such silliness.

Frodginson Bowlderflangdersmackfont, Ehc, Zomberxinregf. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Rdombugfo

(Pics not related, but it's pretty cool)

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>>7113227
What are everyone else's word or cliche dislikes?

Flower metaphors here.

>>7113265
>cunny
we had a similar discussion way back on /tg/ how that is word should not use

>>7112991
VR is a decent temporary fix, but remember, there are INFINITE universes out there, anon. We need your help to fuck them.

>>7112937
>http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
You cut to the next scene? I feel ripped off. Damn you snek.

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>>7113227

I'm generally of the opinion that a lot of words that initially seem silly will start to feel normal pretty quickly once you start using them. I tend to use cum and precum because I think it reads more clearly, but I might reconsider that for the future.

Since the old thread was almost dead when I linked it, here is my futa incest story:

Family of Three
Tags: futanari, mother/daughter, sister/sister, romantic, big breasts, u15, big cock, excessive cum, gentle femdom
Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VK9bYtAGIHbCfpnzSkBLghzO5fH2-BodWhX6cv-IZiU/edit?usp=sharing
Chapter 11: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yXGt2W9HBV_K2xVKJ7pHoJg7GKItzYXAuLaPjhQQ3bQ/edit?usp=sharing

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>>7111882
>>7111935
Yes, me again. A collab project sounds awesome.
Animalgirl event ideas so far, feel free to add new ones and take on anything you like:
centauress equestrian
catgirl gymnastics
wolfgirl track and field
lamia wrestling
mermaid aquatics (other than diving, as they have no legs to jump with)
arachne web art, inverted abseil (upside-down rappel)
harpy, batgirl, fairy, and dragongirl aeronautics

>>7113553
Also an intro chapter about the athletes' transformations might be a good idea.

The time taken to transform would vary based on the degree of change and the body mass increase, but the animalgirl form lasts through the whole Olympics, and their rooms in the village are adapted accordingly.

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Guess I should repost.

Ten years
Tags: Male/Female, Human/Tiefling, vanilla, soft, romantic, sex in front of an open fireplace, hand holding, first time, Fantasy
http://pastebin.com/0SpZN2tZ

Reposting mine too, for whoever wanted to read it:

http://pastebin.com/dDWTcdRd

Tags: Plot only(almost sex), violence, attempted rape, Borelean Alpha having a really bad day, generous amount of Karma

>>7113564
I like that, but I was also thinking it'd be cool if the transformations could be altered on the fly for triathlons or whatever.

What kind of transformation are we talking? Magical, chemical, genetic, or could it be a variety of techniques?

I am interested in seeing this come to fruition, even possibly seeing the notion of different transformations fighting against each other in events where there's not a clear obvious winner: a cheetah gets mixed in with the wolves for the 100 yard dash, something like that.

Maybe one of us should start with an opening chapter of one particular athlete or a few going through the process, and we start expanding from there, borrowing characters from one another as we go?

I'd be willing to take a crack at that, or at least try to come up with some characters to start with.

>>7113713
>different transformations fighting against each other in events where there's not a clear obvious winner: a cheetah gets mixed in with the wolves for the 100 yard dash, something like that.

This doesn't sound very erotic to me

>>7113728


No, but it sounds awesome.

>>7113734
I've got some ideas for this, but it's too long to post, so I added it to my pastebin.

http://pastebin.com/Gqmdr3v3

>>7113632
Very sweet; well done on having the reader's attention on the world and past only follow the protagonist's. Lots of amateur writers don't bother with that sort of parallel, but it adds a lot to the effect, even if only subconsciously.

"Nutsack" felt a little out of place, but nothing else really glared in error. I did wonder about the woman's skin color, though. Nice cotton-candy piece with hints of more complex flavors to build the world.

>>7113792
>"Nutsack" felt a little out of place, but nothing else really glared in error.
It was either that, balls or scrotum. And neither felt appealing.

>I did wonder about the woman's skin color, though.
Just assume normal Caucasian unless specified otherwise.

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damn, wanted to post a shorty I made but long ago I started change on the prologue and I'm too tired to make it coherent again.
So instead I'll ramble about how great it's supposed to be and if someone is interested I'll post part of it.

It's slice of life in a world where women fashion started integrating bondage aspect, and it's popular the same way high-heels and unpractical dress are if the boys are extra worth it.
For example, a swimsuit can look like this pict, and it became an art to have tan-lines that are bondage-looking

In that world it's not abnormal for for a tube dress to molded to keep a women arm sensually along her body and be impossible to remove without essentially undressing herself.
More practical, a good pullover would typically be made so it's fabric can be tightened akin to shibari.
A classy dress would also integrate a fancy head-harness made to tighten the lips of your beloved shut should one of you intend to send a silent message.
A sport jacket on the other hand would integrate a system of string that when pulled forcedly fold the wearers arms together.
while a cheerleader would typically wear finger-less 'bondage' glove.

This of course extend to everything, spiderweb looking bed with straps, videogame "The Elders Ropes : Skyrim", college sport...

That's all for my madness.

>>7113801
wrinkley undercarriage

>>7113986
Eugh.

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3000 word update, new content at "It barreled into Azi, knocking her to the ground in a splash of dirty water."

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK

No new tags, but be warned this now includes amputation and medical details/settings. It's not sexualized, but it is somewhat graphic.

>>7113387
Well I had a five thousand word sex scene done so I didn't think you'd want more of the same.

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>>7114218
Hope they got good prosthetic's in that universe.

>>7114218
I'm always down for more pound town. I can see where you are coming from though.

I wonder what happens in this update.

Uh oh.

>>7114293
>I wonder what happens in this update.

sadness, sexual healing, despair but also erections.

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With thanks to cuteanon.

Thunderstruck
http://pastebin.com/yKaeYvJE

Tags: Linda Raindancer, Surinen, cuteanon, foreplay, handjob, grinding, buttstuff

For those unfamiliar, these are OCs created by the artist cuteanon. Linda is a featherdragon of storms (pic related for when she loses control in human form) and Surinen is a living alchemical experiment with a just a bit of dragon in him.

Prior reading of Venom, which it is set after, is highly recommended, although not necessary as it is very long and not very smutty.

Venom
http://pastebin.com/ALE9wQgm
Tags: Surinen, Simmerscale, cuteanon, light smut content, horror, action

Enjoy.

>>7114218

>In a way she was right, he wouldn't report her, he was too ashamed, both of how she had overpowered him, and of the way his body had responded to her assault. If his men were to find out, would they still respect him? Would they still follow the orders of a lieutenant who had been disgraced, and had, on some level, enjoyed it?


Uh, what? youre saying all of them would go "Oh LT, you should have overpowered that 8 foot tall wall of muscles who weighs twice as much as you! because you didn't, now we won't respect you and we now also don't give a shit about the UCMJ or how you earned your rank or any of that shit! Later loser, we're blowing this popsicle stand!"


Cmon, Snek. Cmon.

>>7114464
No I'm not saying that, but that's his fear. Insecurity is rarely logical.

Also what's UCMJ?

>>7114469
Not him but its the Uniformed Code of Military Justice that the US military uses.

>>7114469
>>7114471


Long story short, a set of laws designed by and that only applies to the military. Among the many things it covers, disobeying direct orders and disrespecting your superiors will get you in deep shit and/or sent to military prison for quite a long while. Anyone in the military has it ingrained into them during basic that you do not fuck around when dealing with your superiors, ever.

>>7114464
It's about saving face you retard, no matter how goofy the circumstances are. Having the troops under your command find out about your snu-snu adventure's will affect how they view you as a person and an officer. Naturally retards will start spreading rumors/talking shit about you which can evolve to higher levels of insubordination, such as refusing orders.

>>7114490

No those are some pretty specific circumstances that would get you looked at like you're a fucking idiot if you gave someone shit about it. Triple especially if said leader was a good leader to their men.

>>7114464
>>7114490
There's a pretty good precedent for people (especially men) failing to report rape because they think it will make them look bad or they fear not being taken seriously.
Infact, I watched a documentary about gangs in London, and they would rape people who owed them money as punishment because they knew they'd never report it to the police, and they'd lose face.
The military is a very macho, the dude clearly values the respect of his men, so I think it's reasonable that he would hesitate to share something that makes him feel emasculated or that might make him lose their respect.

>>7114447
The character interactions are as funny as always, CB. Good to have you around again.

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>>7114496
You fail to realize just how many idiots are in the military. It doesn't matter how good the leadership is, there is, and always will be "that guy" who will talk shit spread gossip like a schoolgirl for giggles.

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>>7114218
Damn it Snek I wasn't supposed to like Azi so much! I want to know what happened to her.

Love how you've handled it so far.

>>7114520
Is that Raz from Pinwheel?

>>7114520
You'll hear more from Azi, and nice art!

>>7114520
>>7114527
http://chibi-chaser.tumblr.com/post/145643929624/6816-with-apologies-to-kaneoya-sachiko-pt-1
follow the link to artist morbi is talking about for some relevant stuff

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>>7114530
I predict reconciliation and lewd activities for her return.

>>7114503

Alright, I can buy that. I just wish that wasn't the universal response in snek's stuff, at some point one of these cats need to be held responsible for this silliness at least once

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>>7114530
Good this pleases me. That said, definatly looking forward for more Kaisha. God speed Snek.

http://pastebin.com/wF2uSFCC

may I ask how this is going?

>>7114586
The Borelean probably wouldn't even punished that hard given how their entire culture/civilization is based around the whole establishing dominance thing. I'm sure the Krell have their own cultural/specie specific quirks too, most likely dealing with body heat. Also, remember this is a porn story so some real world logic/rules get thrown out for the sake of the porn/fetish aspect.

>>7113227
Cum is lewd, so it's good.

>>7113265
On the other hand, cunny sounds like a child came up with it, which makes it disturbing.

>>7113801
I find that "jewels" can at at times be acceptable.

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>>7114595
Yeah there's no concept of 'rape' in Borealan society. They're conditioned to submit to Alphas, so while I guess sex could be reluctant, there's no such thing as violent rape as we know it.
At least not until they learn about the concept from humans.

>>7114589
Nice, you guys always post Viper pics I don't have.

>>7114592
Not into gay stuff but I find the scenario amusing.
>“I told you, I’m a man.”
>“Well why the hell are you wearing a skirt then?”
Your formatting is good, no complaints about the writing.

>>7114633
Why do humans tolerate them as equals at all? Apart from their brute strength, I simply cannot see any value in allying with them when they could be made much more compliant and less dangerous via enslavement.

I know that if I was in charge, they'd just be exterminated as uncontrollable savages whose obsession with dominance makes them unreliable and prone to insubordination.

>>7114651
>less dangerous via enslavement

Yeah that'll make effective ground troops.

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>>7114218
>>7114633
Instead of going to bed and kicking myself for not saying this sooner. I've made some observations.
So Boreleans typicall go
>rape
Or back to their comfortable nature after going through loss or extreme deress? Correct? Could be more than to Azi rather than her abs.

To build more on what the other anon said. Wouldn't Azi feel obligated to protect him because she thought she was his Alpha? I imagine him giving his life to pretty much save them both might really rattle her.

Anyway, just seeing possibilies. I realize its going to be mostly between Kaisha and MC. I'm looking to see how that pans out.

Pic is unrelated.

>>7114651
Think of them as the Klingons but with fur.

>>7114651
Well for one the UN wouldn't go round enslaving people.

The scenarios in the stories happen very, very infrequently. There are no humans on Borealis besides one hapless ambassador, the only Borealans on Earth are Polars who are much better behaved, and the ratio of humans to Borealans in the military is a million to one.

So you'd have to be either that one ambassador or one of the small minority of soldiers who serve with Borealans in integrated units, then on top of that you'd have to be in a situation where either you or the Borealan were unaware of the cultural differences, or exacerbate them in some way, then on top of that you'd have to be alone with them for a long enough period of time for the rape to occur.

99% of Borealan/human interactions do not result in snu snu, but why would I write about those?

>>7114663
Yep, that's a good observation, she would feel an instinct to protect him once was inducted onto her pack.

>>7114659
A built in tendency to rebel at the first sign of weakess and a knack for attacking their "allies" does not a good soldier make. Soldiers need to follow orders without question even if the person in charge can't just beat them into submission, and given that they're nine-foot tall catpeople that's not an option. Notwithstaning the polars, almost every single one of them thus far is depicted as a mutiny waiting to happen. No sane commander would tolerate that, even if they were the perfect soldier in all other respects.

Either they can be forced to follow human rules and keep their complaints to themselves on pain of BLAMming, or they can be thrown out of the military and be treated as the enemy which I could argue that they are. With allies like those...

>>7114665
Because all snu-snu all the time gets boring after a while? That, and I'm really curious about how you would do a pure femsub fic. I'm sure you could do just fine with it if you only tried.

>>7114668
I can imagine that can cause some stress with the Borealan given how weak and vulnerable we are compared to them. Kind of funny and cute when you imagine a Borealan worrying and acting like an overprotective mother towards a human they consider a lower pack mate. I can also imagine of what they'd think of human children.
>"They come in weaker and smaller versions? How is their species not extinct?"

>>7114674
>Because all snu-snu all the time gets boring after a while?

Not to me lol.

I've done a few femsub scenes and I have a Borealan male on human female story in the works.

>>7114690
Not that I feel any special compulsion to write less femdom, I just thought the pitch was good.

>>7114693
You might be surprised. Plus, I'm starting to think that the dominance/submission schtick is getting old.

Anyone know of fics in which both partners treat each other as equals, with nobody being "dominant" or "submissive"?

>>7114703
If you want people to write stories based on what you think, you should probably commission them.

>>7114708
Most writers write what they care about. If you want something you care about, you write it. Simple as that

>>7114708
Check the master list like everyone else?
Honestly man you're so entitled.
This thread isn't here to cater to you personally.

>>7114715
>though if it still ends up as femdom I will be disappointed in you.
You could've worded like a request. Snek, or any other writer aren't here to cater to one person.

>>7114715
You're not phrasing it like a request, shit like this:
>>7114708
Is rude and makes you come off as an asshole.
Nobody is going to write stuff for you or link you to the content you want if you behave like that.

>>7114715
Requests are fine, bitching at writers for writing what they like/fetishes they like comes off has assholish

>>7114719
>>7114721
Let me try that again.

Anyone willing to consider writing a fic in which norms of dominance and submission are either inverted or outright disregarded? Other fetishes can be added as you see fit.

>>7114725
>norms of dominance and submission inverted
what's funny is that describes Snekkers stories seeing how male dominant is the norm/default for most porn

>>7114731
I was figuring that this would be within the context of a culture or species where this kind of thing was more or less set in stone. Like how drow women are always dominant, for example.

Maybe it could be considered as being "deviant" in an appealing way by one or both people involved?

>>7114725
Some sort of MGE-equivalent?

>>7114733
Can you explain what you mean by that? You mean like one of the MGE species? Because I'm pretty sure all of them are written for femdom there.

Perhaps she's sick of always having to take the dominant role and wants to let her partner take the lead for a change?

>>7114732
There's no gender default for that with Borealans. Males or females can be alphas.

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>>7114725
Search for the tags 'vanilla' or 'romantic' on the master list and you'll find a lot of fics like that.
I've not read these, I'm just spoonfeeding.

[http://pastebin.com/xa6eYJjY Songbirds & Snowflakes (World of Warcraft)] "Female/Female, Draenei/Human, Adult, Consensual, Fingering, First Time, Kissing, Cunnilingus, Romantic, Sex, Soft"

http://pastebin.com/d01RZMWc In Service to Dibella "Elder Scrolls, MxF, KhajiitxNord, catgirl, consensual, blowjob, vaginal"

http://pastebin.com/VFfiCcK9 Digging for Heresy M Inquisitor x F Eldar Warlock, Earplay, Vaginal, Vanilla, Body exploration, oral, awkward conversation, kissing and hand holding

>>7114734
That's not how the species work. It's not a fetish for them but a social standing/their entire culture/etc.

>>7114633
>>7114592

Whoops forgot to mention I'm not the writer of it,

Looking for parallax to see how he's doing on it

>>7114740

also forgot to mention he's the one who's doing my request s

>>7114736
I've read all of those, and they're good- but not exactly what I had in mind.

I guess I meant to clarify that I was looking for one where that kind of thing is the core of the plot/smut. Like, a big deal is made of it within the fic itself, along the lines of "but aren't you supposed to be the dominant one?".

>>7114738
My mistake, though the principle applies regardless.

>>7114743
Whoops, meant to reply to >>7114737
for the first one.

>>7114703
The dominance submission thing is so old it should be put down in the backyard like a dog.
But it's easy to write so it'll always be here. That and people like it.

>>7114530
*secretly hoping she was dead* damn

>>7114749
Probably because its the basis of all human interactions? That's like saying "I wish there was less penis and vagina in my sex".

>>7114761
You do know of the concept of a "switch", right? Just imagine it in the case both partners are switches and don't view all their interactions in the light of who is dominant over who.

Remember when relationships involved people treating each other as equals?

>>7114725
It's called vanilla you twat.

>>7114771
See >>7114743, this is more along the lines of deliberate cultural defiance I'm asking about here, not just vanilla. Again, the key is that this is occurring in a culture where "vanilla" would be abnormal.

>>7114775
Try writing yourself so we can better understand what you want? Give us a few paragraphs.

>>7114784
Its hard for.me to describe, but here's one paragraph, I guess. In this case, I'm using the female drow example again. Assume she's just lying back waiting for her lover to penetrate her.

>"What's wrong? I thought Drow women were supposed to be aggressive in bed."
>"Well, some of us just want to be fucked without having to do all of the work. It's enough of a chore having to be in charge of the males without having to ride them like a horse as well. Now are you going to be a man and stick it in me already or should I just animate my wand instead?"

>(Sex ensues)

Does this example clarify it a little more? I guess you could replace the drow with an Amazon and it would be just as applicable.

>>7114794
Basically you want opposite day for story environments that would suggest role reversal, such as femdom are the norm.

>>7114810
I guess that's the best way of putting it. Or to put it on Borealean terms, an alpha deciding that for this one encounter maybe they don't want to be an alpha.

Might be interesting to play up the possibility that one or both sides doesn't quite knows how to adopt the opposite role and show how they figure it out. Or at least make an attempt to do so.

Hey snek/anyone else, what do you think if this as a story idea?

Marine who is the sole survivor of his squad gets taken in by an alpha of a pack of Borealans(Half because his badassery and heroism while he was with his real squad, half because Borealans know the pain and loss of purpose in life when you are the last of your squad better than anyone else)

Main story premise is how the Marine proves his worth to the pack and is eventually accepted/respected for things that aren't what Borealans normally respect(basically, in ways that arent just KILL REALLY GOOD/REALLY STRONG)

>>7114858
I'd read it.

>>7113713
>>7113784
As usual I like a pleasant and sensual transformation experience. I imagine several methods based on beauty products and treatments: bath, skin cream, oil massage, or a device similar to a tanning booth. The real-world setting may warrant at least some consideration for science (e.g. long period of genetically prepping their bodies to make them transformable).

In the interests of health, safety, and fair competition, the rules say animalgirl forms must retain at least 50% of the human body and not increase total body mass by more than 50%. The overall best guide for animalgirl designs is Monster Girl Encyclopedia.
http://monstergirlencyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Mamono

Multiathlons could work by having the athlete transform between different variants of a creature each with different strengths.

>>7114881
*polyathlon, not multiathlon. Got my Greek and Latin mixed up there.

Does anyone here like the idea of females with premature ejaculation? Only a couple of thrusts and they can barely take it.

>>7114881
Ooh, I LOVE the tanning bed idea.

...which means I have to throw out a ton of stuff I wrote yesterday.

Oh well. The Delete Key does not care.

(Also, I don't think you could make a centauress with only 50% more body mass)

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>>7114881
What about the dragon girls? Since they are fictional creatures, i would go for a genetically modified normal lizard. First they would turn into a normal lizard and then they go through a sort of genetic treatment to add wings and more muscular mass.

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>>7115011
Oh, I think that's a two-line fix.

"She's a dragon?" Said whatsherface. "But dragons aren't real."
The organizer looked her dead in her eye. "Aren't they?" She asked innocently.

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Girl discovers her fetish for snakes anal insertion and wants to share it with her best friend, but the two become hosts of lots of snakes that start slithering out of their vaginas, until one final anaconda comes out and makes them cum.

Yes, i smoked before thinking this. Does anyone wants to write a small story about this?

well I got a request for you guys, lately I have been reading a genre called Litrpg in wich its generally person gets stuck inside a rpg type game with alot of focus on leveling and gaining stats/skills, would love to see what someone would come up with in one of these settings but with a /d twist on things

>>7115041
Never even heard of that genre.

>>7115042
think along the lines of the manga The Gamer and you will get the general idea if you have heard of that one

>>7115052
Nope, never heard of that either. Sorry.

>>7115042
>>7115052
>>7115056
>.hack
>log horizon
>etc
it's a pretty common plot

>>7115057
So you basically want that crossed with CoC?

>>7115086
yes in a way wouldnt have to be CoC but it would be up to whoever wanted to write it

>>7114762
>Remember when relationships involved people treating each other as equals?

Total fantasy, there's no such thing as a mutual relationship^, no two humans are ever equal.
You're either dominant towards or submissive towards every person you've ever met, and even if you're a switch, someone is on top, someone is taking the lead.

>>7114762
>Remember when relationships involved people treating each other as equals?

Yes, but the idea of someone posting a fic here that doesn't revolve around femdom is heresy of the foulest kind.

>>7115182
It'll die out, just as it did every other time a single fetish dominates the thread. The supply either grows too fast and causes people to get tired of the same old thing, or the content suppliers vanish when real life makes it clear that smut doesn't pay the bills unless you're a 50-year old British woman who barely understands the subject matter of her own writing.

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>>7115182
>>7115206
Can we have just one thread without someone complaining incessantly about other people's fetishes?
In this thread we've had a gay Orc story posted, vanilla romantic Teiflings, a long discussion about lesbian animalgirl gymnasts, mother/daughter incest futanari, the idea that only femdom gets posted is demonstrably false.
We've had more discussion about how one or two people want everyone else to stop writing and liking femdom, than actual femdom being posted in the thread.

It's tagged, if you don't like it, don't read it.
If you want people to produce content you like, make requests, commission someone or do it yourself.

We tell you this every thread and you keep coming back with the same complaints.

General question to all the writefags. Alot if you ask for feedback and such on your stories, especially snekguy who posts them in chunk. Do you ever find the "advice" grating or the way the story changes is not at all like what you had planned?
How do you balance advice, valid or not,(more like plot advice not arguing about fetishes) and what you have in mind as authors?

>>7115279
The only time I find feedback grating is when it is just baseless ranting. Even if someone didn't like one of my stories, I'll consider what they have to say if they explain 'why' they didn't like it. What was it that made them dislike it?

>>7115222
They don't listen because that would mean not getting their way.

Looking for a writefriend who'd be willing to churn out a quick draft for me to sketch into comic form. Comic would be monotone and 1 to 2 pages long. I'm really poor at writing myself.

Tags:futanari on male, shota, femdom, big cock, big breasts, rape

So something like Cultivate Brotherhood or POISON-XXX.

My most recent drawing: >>7113282

>>7113535
I'll have to give this a read. Looks promising.

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>>7115279
Someone posted something about my story being "too sappy", and went on to insult me rather than give any real feedback. While I do want to improve, and I'll gladly take some feedback, at the end of the day, a writer should write what they enjoy without feeling the need to cater to someone, when it's not a request or comission

>>7115279
I make a lot of changes based on feedback, this format really allows for a kind of 'Early Access' style writing where people can point out flaws or make suggestions during the process and I can make edits on the fly. I don't think my stories would be half as good without you guys making suggestions and grilling me.

It's been invaluable for me. If someone says they want to see more of something, I can usually find a way to fit it in, or if someone finds an inconsistency, I can go back and fix it, or address it later on.
I've modified the ending to my current story three times already based on what people want to see and suggestions I thought were cool.

A minority of people do just pick holes, but even that is feedback of a kind, and it allows me to get a better perspective on my shortcomings and try to improve them. People being legit disruptive are rare but I just ignore those.

>>7115292
Damn that's some good art. Kind of reminds me of JoJo.

>>7113869

I don't think bondage is very popular here but I am one of perhaps a few who would be interested.

>>7115297
>Damn that's some good art. Kind of reminds me of JoJo.
Thank you. It is a Jojo character, hence the artstyle. It's a fun style to draw in.

>>7115313
Not even a fan of futa, but that's a really good replication of the artstyle

Well I have more like a little summery of a story. A feminization one. I am no writer. So would like to give for anyone who likes to expand on it. Do I put on pastebin and post here ? or just post here so someone can pick it up.

>>7115279
I keep the end goal of what I write in mind at all times, and as long as anything doesn't contradict it I add in whatever is suggested to the best of my abilities.

>>7115333
Put it on pastebin and post it. If you're lucky, you may end up having enough to develop it into a real fic.

>>7115222
desu, nobody seems to be taking requests nowadays, people are going to get fed up by the lack of response. and "just commission it lol" isn't viable for a lot of people even if they were willing to have potentially embarrassing charges on their credit card bills. if they could do it, they wouldn't need to request or demand it from here in the first place.

>>7115348
Do you think the charge shows up as "Horrible Fetish Porn Ltd"?
Authors are just randos who take Paypal transactions, it isn't going to appear as anything other than "you sent $20 to [email protected]".

Authors come here to post their work for everyone to enjoy, they're under no obligation to take your requests, should you make them, but they often do.

I know D. and another guy are working on that animal girl request right now, you have to pitch ideas, characters, plots that will hook people. Not just "make a story with fetish X".

They have to be interested, they have to want to do it, because you're not paying them.

>>7115362
Is there some kind of special trick to getting a request accepted, or is it just asking for something the author would have already wanted to write in the first place? Just seems to me that in the end it all boils down to the fetishes involved matching the author's, regardless of anything else.

>>7115370
It does have to spark the interest of the author, why would they do it for free if they don't find it interesting?

>>7115370
>Is there some kind of special trick to getting a request accepted

It has to be something the author wants to do.

And nowadays it has to be furry as well.

>>7115370
I would have though that much was obvious, most authors won't even take commissions for subjects they aren't into or don't enjoy writing about.

A guy who hates fart fetish isn't going to write it just because you asked him to, or even if you pay him.

The trick is not to just outline a fetish, but to pitch a story, an idea that catches the interest of the author.

>>7115374
Are we reminiscing about the good old days when everything was just Sisters of Battle porn?
People like things you don't like, get over yourself.

>>7115374
I remember at least a few authors taking requests for stuff they weren't always comfortable with simply to learn how to write them and to improve their skills. We ought to try and bring back that sentiment in the interest of getting more OC made.

Maybe we should have a request-filling contest? Something to acknowledge the people who fill the most requests, fill the most unusual ones, best overall fill quality, that kind of thing. Nothing like a little competition to get people motivated, right?

>>7115333
>>7115343

ok guys here is the feminization structure i thought of. I posted in another thread though this is where it fits better. Anyone can take it and expand it. Or something else i:e comic/manga.

http://pastebin.com/NSE8Vvhz

Have fun with it.

http://pastebin.com/NSE8Vvhz

>>7115292

This might be too long, but here's my pitch with panel numbers:

1: Boy standing in front of tall, busty prostitute (maybe there's a brothel sign in the background, like a price list for sex acts) He stammers "H.. how much?"
2: She grins, looking down on him, says "Sweetie, you're adorable, but you really don't know what you are getting into."
3: Boy looks determined, shows a bunch of coins, "Yes I do!"
4: Woman shrugs, still smiling, "If you say so"
5: Shot of her practically dragging him through a corridor (probably skippable)
6: Her pushing him to sit on the edge of a bed
7: Woman begins to dance, pulling her dress down to show her breasts
8: Her giving the boy a lap dance, grinding against his lap while smothering his face in her cleavage
9: Her continuing the lapdance, grinding her butt on the boys lap, with him coming across her back
10: Her turning in surprise, touching the cum on her back (might be possible to combine with 11?)
11: Closeup of her grinning, licking cum from her finger saying "Having fun, are we?"
12: Wide shot of her with her huge, precum-dripping cock standing right in front of the boy's face, him staring at it in shock. She says "My turn."
13: Closeup of boy looking scared "Theres... theres no way
14: She flips him over onto his stomach, him yelping in shock
15: Her leaning above his prone body, close to his ear, a cruel smile on her lips "Don't worry, I'll be gentle"
16: Her grabbing him and starting to push, him wincing in pain
17: Cock sliding in, his stomach beginning to bulge
18: Her thrusting, him with tears in his eyes, but the beginning of a smile on his lips
19: Closeup of her face, looking flustered, eyes closed "Fuck, you are going to make me..."
20: Closeup on his face, ahegao-style (eyes rolled back, orgasmic smile)
21: Shot of them both coming, his stomach bulging as he soaks the sheets


Doing the math thats probably at least three pages. Tell me what you think though, I could try again if want something like it

The trick to getting your request filled is to give the author money. I can confirm with Snek that this trick is very effective.

>>7113535
Just finished chapter 1. Best thing I've read in a long time. Has the story ended or is it still ongoing?

>>7115279
Well, in my mind theres always improvements to be made, and there are lessons to be found in all kinds of feedback. When several people tell me a section is too short, or seems out of place, or lacks impact, that's a good sign that I should focus my efforts on it. Sometimes the way to fix the problem is to accept their suggestions, but other times it just means I didn't express my vision well enough

In contrast, a decent chunk of the feedback I get are requests for quite specific tweaks that didn't occur to me because its related to a fetish I don't have. Sometimes these make fun additions and I gladly accept them, but sometimes they don't suit my idea of the scene and I'll simply ignore them

>>7115475
Thank you <3

It's still ongoing, and I intend to do a thorough re-edit of all the chapters once I'm finished (some of them are pretty rough). Chapter 12 is the last main chapter and currently about 70% done, but I have two epilogue chapters planned after it. I also have a bunch of sidestories roughly mapped out that are beyond the scope of the main "book", so I'm likely to return to these characters in the future.

>>7114633
>>7114592

Wanted to reiterate that I'm not writing this, Parallax is, I haven't seen him on here in a while so I was wanted to ask how it was going

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2000 word update, Polars are therapy animals that hug you back edition. New content at “So when can I get out of here, Doc? "

Purple Heart
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
>no new tags

>>7115506
Yeah no worries, I hope you'll relay my praise if you find him.

>>7115222
They're new, they'll learn how things work in a while.

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>>7115512
Sudden Raz guest appearance, this makes me happy. O

ne thing that has bugged me. Everyone's been pretty cold to Moralez it feels like. I mean the man only has a leg left. I know Kaisha is trying to be professional. Just comes off as a bit too cold. (Hue polar.)

So Sun and Moon come out friday

anyone know any not erotic fiction that tells stories based on each game that doesn't get grimdark and edgy?

>>7115512
Would be interesting if his prosthetic's actually enhance his strength to be close to a Borealan.

>>7115512
I hope Stanley comes and tells Moralez the benefits of sexual healing.

>>7113869
interesting idea. the normalisation of it would make it less hot in real life, but even better as a fic / setting.
i'll put my request in to read it!

>>7115370
I took that dullahan request just because I thought of a way to make it funny.

That's my main goal is to find a funny interpretation of this stuff. I actually really liked the world I came up with for the slime story. I'm not into slime girls, but... I found a way.

The requests that I've noticed go by recently have all been noncon or explicit rape, and I'm just not going there. It's all about an idea hitting you in the right way at the right time.

>>7115005
>tanning

Just realized, changing my inital entry means I lose a really great simile I wrote in that entry.

"A thin showerhead emerged from the center of the ceiling, like the microphone at a boxing match. "

I was REALLY happy with that line. I need to use that somewhere else.

May I request a story along the lines of "manly straight guy wakes up one morning to discover he's now got a vagina. Goes to the gym/on a train/wherever, gets discovered, and gangbanged?

There's a severe lack of cuntboy stories out there, especially ones with less femme boys.

>>7115512
DYLAN! GOTCHU PUSHIN TOO MANY PENCEELZ?

>>7115512
that whole doesn't like boreleans thing got resolved kinda... quickly

>>7115633
>>7115663
Good ideas.

>>7115568
She'll warm up over time.

>>7115962
I wouldn't say it's resolved, he just doesn't dislike Kaisha.

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>>7115922
I loled.

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How do ya'll write the sex scenes? I can write battles and action scenes, but not sex scenes.

>>7116030
I've never really thought about it.
I guess try to imagine yourself in place of the character and describe what they might be feeling.

>>7116030
Watch porn. Keep track of what you're actually watching. Read smut. Pay careful attention to what you're drawn to. Write the union of these groups. Don't worry so much about actions. Focus on whatever your eye/mind is drawn to and describe the shit out of it. Smut isn't about who does what to whom. It's about exploring the senses. Basically, it's "show, don't tell" on steroids.

>>7116030
>know the style I like
>can't seem to imitate it
There's a giant sex-hole in my story where words go to die.

>>7116083
Have you tried alcohol?

has the dude writing the mothlady story gone missing? that shit was the bomb

>>7115512
The fuck you mean he ain't gettin a peg leg? I was looking forward to exmilitary space pirate and a fuzzy ship doctor.

This section brings up a nice point about the rape. Wonder how the super cats would react if they found out about the aftereffects of their "displays of dominance", personally I don't even think they could comprehend it, seeing as the drive for dominance is such an ingrained part of their culture.

>>7116083
Just put in like 4 paragraphs of moaning and flower imagery. Maybe add some puns.

>>7115041
>I have been reading a genre called Litrpg
That's very interesting. I've seen several such pieces of fanfiction for Naruto (e.g., "Naruto Game of the Year Edition" and "Ramen Days") and Harry Potter (e.g., "Harry Potter: Game of the Year Edition" and "The Adventures Of Harry Potter, the Video Game: Exploited"), but they've typically been labeled as "The Gamer" crossovers or just "Character is in a video game". I didn't know that it was its own genre.

http://pastebin.com/QG1rdSz3

?

>>7115977
It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the pic snek used. I'm glad someone else appreciated it

>>7116284
No tags, no interest.

>>7113632
Reading this but keep getting distracted by other stuff going on IRL every time I start to look at it.
Seems good so far.

>>7115512


Oi snek, story is going by great so far, but Kaisha could use a few more "massive cat trying to interact with and live in place designed for human sized people" tidbits. with how little it's described, it's easy to forget she is so huge. Her tablet for example, would probably look comically oversized to Moralez.

>>7116159
I'd imagine they'd change their views on it being applied to humans after seeing someone like Moralez broken and battered both mentally and physically. He lost his limbs and he's STILL scared shitless of his men finding out what Azi did to him.

>>7116030
First, read the tutorials in the linked document. second, read the Smut Index's suggestions for new authors on 1d4chan. Third, write something.

>>7116375
I don't know if culturally the OP cat people could grasp why he's even mentally disturbed by it. Like sure they could understand he doesn't want to admit being dominated but I think that would be the sum total of their understanding.
Eagerly waiting how Snekguy has this play out.

Also if Moralez isn't going to get a peg leg how about two hook hands?

>>7116441
>hook hands in the 2600's

"We have the technology, we can rebuild him! but I don't want to spend a lot money..."

>>7116447
You might say it cost more arms and legs than he had left.

Or not.

>>7116447
Futuristic hook hands, now available with four vibration settings and seven different flavors.

>>7115512
I have little to add in way of criticism but I think this is quite good so far and would love to read more

>>7115005
75% more mass then, I guess.

dennis is going to lose the war alliance with the borleans AND start WW3 back on earth when the russian's use polar borleans as shock troops in exchange for amnesty.
JUST so he could get laid.
has there ever been a worse ambassador?

kind of want to stop reading now and just pretend that everything ends 'happily ever after'.

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>>7113869 here
>>7115310 >>7115699
There you go, those were originally post with picture. But here's all the text.
It's not like I found many picture that fit this normal fashion (bondage) anyway.

http://pastebin.com/xdUgquEy

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>>7116289
Yeah it's a reference to that, lol.
It's the beta participation banner from Titanfall 2.
I love the robot designs in that game.

>>7116159
>>7116441
That's a good idea, he's gonna meet Azi again at some point so I'll have a think about how that would play out.

>>7116369
Ok.

>>7116598
Working on another update.

>>7116909

monitoring this thread until you do

>>7116909
I have to get this off my chest. Man did I love that azi "rape". I wanted more. I'm afraid I'm hoping they have make up sex. That really doesn't fit the story sadly. So best not listen to me.

Have you thought about adding a little after she takes him back to his sleeping bag?

Good luck with more writing Snek.

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I'm having a great deal of trouble describing these in words, does anyone know if they have a name?
I don't think "a stylized foot, sculpted from a simple sheet of flexible carbon" really gives people the right mental image.

>>7117054
It's quite difficult to keep the sex scenes fresh, I prefer to keep the scenes at like 5 or 6 thousand words, any more and the repetition starts to become really glaring.

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much though, and while it would be fun to add in some more scenes, I feel like it wouldn't add anything to the story, it would probably just get repetitive. Unless you have any especially novel ideas for positions or acts?

I don't think I'm really that good at writing sex scenes, I mostly rely on the situation and characters for novelty.

>>7117139

Kaisha's sex scenes are going to be unique off the bat, but if you're still struggling on them, focus on the cuddling and sexual healing aspects. Take things slowly and gently, mix in emotions that aren't just pleasure, stuff like that!

>>7117139
>keep the scenes at like 5 or 6 thousand words
is any less than that insubstantial for a sex scene?

>>7117146

No, in fact I'd say those are on the long side.

>>7117145
That's good advice, I'm trying to go very slowly with their relationship.

>>7117146
Nah, that's just the amount I can personally write before I start to see too much repetition.

>>7117153
>>7117149
Ah, thanks. My next update for love coils is going to involve their first time (both together and individually) So I have it planned out to be somewhat slow, methodical, and loving with no crazy positions just yet, so it won't be extremely long

>>7117156
*by individually, I mean they're both virgins. I'm shit at explaining things properly

>>7117156
That sounds appropriate for their first times, virgins aren't going to be trying out any acrobatic sex positions, they'll just be reveling in the act itself.

>>7117139

carbon blade prosthesis?

flex-foot?

Springers?

>>7117153
I'm looking forward to it. Slow building relationships are a challenge to any writer with how much you have to keep track of in terms of the actions of the characters involved, it'll be nice to see you take that on and grow as a writer.

Also, eventual comedy suggestion: Moralez shows Kaisha the magic of bacon after finding out she never knew what the word was referring to and never thought to try it.

>>7117139
Here's a question, Snek. Is he going to be receiving Adam-Jensen-tier prosthetics? Will any artificial limbs still allow for the perception of touch?

>>7117167
That's something I hadn't considered, but you just gave me a great idea for that. I've been building up an emotional element to adapting to the prosthetics, like if you have hangups they're not going to sync up properly with the signals your brain sends them.
Maybe through sex with Kaisha, and bonding with her emotionally, he can unlock more of their potential. Also through a desire to grope her massive meat pillows.

>>7117163
Oh yeah I gotta get more food culture in there.

>>7117162
Maybe, it feels like they should have a proper term to describe them but I can't find one anywhere.

>>7117175

Another suggestion to give you stuff to write about if you need anymore worldbuilding fun:

-To help him get acclimated to Equitorials and heal some emotional damage, Kaisha has Moralez sit with new recruits so that he can get used to them when they are calm and normal.(also a fun culture lesson for all 3 sides when the polars/Equitorials/Moralez see how they behave/how much they eat/what the other sides eat.

Bonus points if the recruits have never seen a polar or human up close yet.

>>7117175
Also, how involved are these prosthetics? Are certain options permanent? Is it possible to grow a new limb via stem cells and taking a bit of tissue? Can you create prosthetics with some biological parts and some synthetic ones?

Along with that, how much work is required to install these? Do they have to reinforce the connection of arms to the spine and chest or make sure the synthetic muscles and tendons connect to the flesh ones?

Just a few things I've been thinking about with the future of prosthetics.

I think the thing that I really liked about it was the emphasis on her size. You've been meaning to work on it. The crate was a really nice touch.

Let me get off work. I might have some ideas.

>>7117231

Were you talking to Snek?

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2500 word update; new content at "The automatic doors to the printing facility opened"

Purple Heart
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK

>>7117194
Also a very good idea, I guess that should be part of his rehab, he's in the right place for it.

>>7117197
I address some of that in this update.

>>7114675
And then humanity rolls out exoskeletons/power armor... Along the lines of Armor by John Steakley

>>7117344
AAAAAAAAAAAAA, god why, that update was to short. I need more, your doing great.

>>7117139
>novel ideas for positions or acts?

Have the Pinwheels artificial gravity fail or become lighter for a short time, could make things interesting.

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>>7117344
I read it and now I want more, I wish we had cyrosleep technology.

>>7117545
Those wheel things would take a hell of a lot of force to spin up or down, so it'd have to be a very deliberate action. The pseudogravity would get weaker the closer to the center you got, though; for anything reasonably large, something at the center would be a zero-g environment whose walls rotated around you maybe once every few hours.

>>7117574

maintenance of some kind?

>>7117580
This, maybe the bearings need replacement or repair after years of operation.

>>7117580
It'd be pretty seriously contrived; maintenance would be universally easier while it was still spinning and you had gravity to act against (doing any work in zero-g is a fucking hassle. you have to tie yourself down or wedge your feet under grab bars to be able to use a keyboard, much less handle mechanical tasks) and the cost of decelerating the thing would be fucking enormous, let alone setting it going again.

>>7117594
What bearings? You're in space. it just hangs there whirling around, there's no axle and nothing to keep it turning any more than the earth itself needs bearings to keep on spinning.

You use high power rocket motors to spin up a torus when you set it up, and then you might need to fire little dinky retro thrusters for a second or two about twice a year to make up for infinitesimal losses to friction against the stray molecules of gas in space.

Plus we already use electromagnetic bearings with effectively infinite lifespan in vacuum machinery anyway.

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>>7117607
I was thinking of the old sci-fi designed space stations and ships that maintain gravity by having part of the ship rotate. I'd imagine those bad-boys have giant bearings that require upkeep after a few years.

>>7117629
The original version is just the wheel; having only part of it rotate is usually done for hypothetical ship based versions rather than a space station, since the rotational inertia makes it insanely difficult to turn corners, so on something intended to travel about the place you want as little as possible spinning.

Also, most of the wear on bearings is due to the pressure of holding their load up against gravity; in microgravity, that's not the case, and there's only a very slight, transient pressure between the axis and the wheel, so the wear would be extremely low. And as mentioned, you'd just use a magnetic bearing since a frictionless bearing that never wears out is way more energy efficient. In a space station, you'd actually need pretty pathetically weak magnets to do the job compared to what you need for shit like mag-lev on earth.

>>7117564
Well, we don't have cryotech, but we CAN revive people who have been dead for around a day. Even supposed brain death doesn't play into this. It combines chilling the body to 70 degrees Farenheit and administering CPR constantly to keep the body going.

>>7117344
Snek where do you work? you seem to update twice a day, sometimes 3.

>>7117910
He doesn't. He's a NEET.

Some days I wonder if this place will survive if he ends up getting a job and stops writing. Wouldn't be the first writer to be taken out of the thread like that.

Does anyone have Cuteanon's tumblr?

>>7118187
ww.tenebrascastle.com

No, that's not a typo.

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>>7118184
>tfw im partially NEET
>get interviews but never land the job

Glad I joined the reserves in highschool, taskings every other week pay me enough to live and play vidya.

>>7117344


Hey Snek, another thing you might have left out, they need to give Moralez something to do. A TV, some audio books, SOMETHING. Poor guy is just sitting there doing nothing all day everyday until Kaisha rescues him for a little while, and he can't really just sleep for the rest of the time(he'll just be alert and awake at night instead)

>>7118334
Hopefully TV in the future uses voice commands, otherwise he's stuck watching shit TV.

>>7118349

Voice commands are already a thing now, it'd probably get better with time. Although, now I have another fun idea for Snek.

Moralez is given a laptop that can be operated with brain pulses through a wire attached to his head. Moralez seems to be happy with it and it helps him pass the time. Woo!

But then Kaisha, as his psychologist on top of therapist, checks his search history while he's asleep to make sure he's not looking for ways to commit suicide or other dangerous activities one in his situation might attempt.

His search history is as follows:

-why do some Borealans have fur
-<image search> Polar Borealans
-why are polar borealans so fat
-why do polar borealans need to be fat on a space station


The next day, during breakfast Moralez politely asks Kaisha if she wants the rest of his food since he's "not feeling that hungry"

>Kaisha's face when

>>7118187

www.tenebrascastle.tumblr.com

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>>7117344
Hey Snek, I really enjoy all your stories, and have been inspired to try my hand at one based off of pinwheel series. I'll post something up as soon as pastbin stops being retarded.

>>7117641
>you'd actually need pretty pathetically weak magnets to do the job compared to what you need for shit like mag-lev on earth
Zero-g means zero weight, but you still have the same mass. Sufficiently vigorous motion could overload the magnets and annoy whoever's in charge of maintenance.

>>7117231
>>7117239
yeah that was me I was on my phone. Still trying to come up with lewd things that involve sleeping bags.

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>>7117910
>>7118184
Yeah I'm a NEET, wish I could do this as a job but there's not much chance of that ever happening.
I'll probably have to reduce my output at some point in the future when it's no longer sustainable.

>>7118334
Yeah there's TV in the station.

I hope my time skips aren't too jarring, healing up after surgery takes a while and there's not much to do in hospital.

>>7118604
That's cool, I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

>>7115041
Are we talking about death-game VRMMORPGs or are we talking about portal fantasy with game elements? Some weebs call the latter "isekai", not knowing that it already had a name, but to be fair, it also includes cases where the main character is reincarnated into another world rather than stumbling into a portal or waking up in another world.

>>7115222
The mother/daughter futanari incest has femdom.

>>7118824
Now you're just being picky.

Snek, people are batching and crying again that there's too much femdom posted in the thread. You know what this thread needs right now?

Another update of course! Type faster!

>>7118824
if you're really this concerned, why don't you write something?

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>>7119019
You got it.

3500 words today, new content at "It took three days for Kaisha to return"

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
>no new tags

I'm close to 30k words now so I should probably chapter it soon. Looks like this is gonna be another long one.

If I can ask for suggestions, I'm currently writing the first lewd scene of Love coils. Is there any recommended foreplay, like oral or hand-based, or should it just be normal penetration?

>>7119115
Definitely some hand-based stuff before penetration, this is their first time, it should be exploratory. Their bodies must be even more alien to eachother than a regular guy and girl.

>>7119115
A bit of foreplay is always recommended. Now, if both your characters are experienced they can go at it straight away, especially if they like it rough.

>>7119143
Both are actually virgins, which is why I asked, as I've never written a scenario like that

>>7119106
>They walked in silence for a while as Moralez tested his new limb, moving it around and exploring it with his hands

He hasn't gotten hands yet though

>>7119147
Damn it, I didn't even catch that.
I'll fix it in a minute.

>>7119145
Well, two virgins in a bed is kinda a recipy for disaster, but okay. They probably would be grossed off by oral sex, so I'd go with some careful touching/caressing/exploring with their hands as foreplay. Play up the shyness and the "wha am I supposed to do?"/"why is my body reacting like that?" part up.

>>7119153
>>7119121
Thanks for the advice

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>>7119157
Something you should also consider is that virgins are simply people who haven't had sex before. Most people going into a sexual encounter will have a good idea of what goes where and how something will react, they just haven't had the experience to know what their partner likes or exactly how certain parts work. Gals can sometimes think that just straight up-and-down motion is all you need, and some blokes think the same thing, but being completely witless and bumbling should never happen unless they're the most repressed cloister sister in the world.
Knowing the vagina is largely only sensitive within the first couple of inches and doesn't respond particularly well to pounding it as hard as humanly possible, or that the G-spot it just the inverse side of a bundle of nerves connected to the clitoris, may not be something that character knows, just like the bloke being painfully sensitive after orgasming may not be something the other character knows.

>>7119106

>They walked in silence for a while as Moralez tested his new limb, moving it around and exploring it with his hands

>his hands

Wat

>>7119172
Yeah, I understand, there is a little bit of confusion, but it's addressed that "[They] know how it works, but [they've] never seen one up close" sort of confusion

>>7119106


>Kaisha mentions bacon but doesn't get any

So close, yet so far

>>7119175
I know I know, I fixed it.
Had a brainfart and forgot he doesn't have hands.

>>7118621
They have the mass, but they don't have any force applied in a specific direction, which is what actually creates the pressure and stress in those systems. Additionally,you don't need the bearing to handle the force of the enormous habitat wheel if it gets displaced relative to the axis, you only need as much force as it takes to shift the axis structure to catch up with the wheel. In any relative movement of two structural elements in space, you only care about the inertia of the smaller object.

Lots of space technology exploits these facts or outright depend on them; the Canadarm on the shuttle for example would quite literally fall to pieces under its own weight on earth, but was used to deploy and manipulate multi-ton satellites in orbit.

Much as zero-g sex is cool and all, the ultimate reality is you'd need the station to have been designed by someone dangerously incompetent for anything to necessitate the rotation being slowed down to reduce gravity (honestly, you need the engineering team to be functionally retarded for a space station not to rotate in its entirety and have no bearings at all). It's fairly easy to find some plot reason to isolate the characters close to the hub where the gravity drops to effectively nil anyway.

>>7119217
...or you could just have it happen in a softer sci-fi setting where artificial gravity generation is a thing which can be turned off safely (relatively speaking).

Why make things harder than they need to be? If you want zero-G sex to happen badly enough, just make the setting conducive to it. Nobody will mind scientific inaccuracies as long as they can jerk off.

>>7119261
That also works perfectly well; it just wouldn't work without horribly clunky brute forcing on the Pinwheel, which is already established as a torus using the centrifugal effect to mimic gravity.

orcs are fat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHlJ3m6NxWc

>>7119106


Are Moralez' prosthetics going to increase his strength since they're for combat? Cause if so, I have a tiny suggestion that requires him to be abnormally strong.

>>7119323
I have some plans for it, don't want to give too much away.

>>7119323
I have issues with that sort of thing. Yeah, you can have a limb that is stronger/more durable than a normal one, but the rest of you attached is still the same durability/strength. The impact/shock/vibration through that better limb could still travel to the rest of you and cause some serious damage.

>>7119278
I was speaking more in general. You have to plan things in advance if you want to have zero-g sex in a story, and it simply doesn't work if you want the setting to be hard sci-fi.

>>7119340

Nothing too crazy for the idea, just having Moralez being so happy once he gets his arms working that he picks up Kaisha in celebration (and promptly discovers that was a bad idea because of the dense muscles hidden behind that fat). They both wind up enjoying that a little too much, but of course aren't ready to admit it.

Would be a good starting point for their relationship, or a good way to mark that it's progressing.

>>7119507
Good idea, I'm sure I can fit something like that in.

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>>7119106
Oh shit, snek!

I need to know these two things. Its important.

First, does Kaisha wear glasses? I always imagine her with them.

Second, is he going to have sex with her with or without his prosthetics? I'd much prefer without.

>>7119543
I don't imagine her wearing glasses, but I don't see why you shouldn't.

I was thinking she might have a way to disable his prosthetics temporarily, to suit the theme of vulnerability, which was the original request.
Oh, maybe we could make it like a trust exercise.

>>7119543
I don't think they're going to be banging until he's sufficiently recovered, physically and emotionally, and the setting is probably too hard to have limbs that just pop off like so.
Your nugget smut will have to be done elsewhere.

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Hey I'm new here but I write smut
http://pastebin.com/u/Cruxors
If enough people gimme feedback I'll stick around and write some more

pic is based off one of my stories

>>7119558
oh uh quoting the op
>>7112903

>>7119543

>No prosthetics

Uhhhh... I'm not sure Snek would enjoy writing that, but I could be wrong.


What I want to know is if kaisha works out or not. Pinwheel is mimicking earth gravity, so muscle atrophy is a huge problem for Borealans. Kaisha not to much since she's not in a combat role, but at the same time she still needs to worry about it somewhat if she doesn't want to keep getting soft overtime.

Whether she does work out or doesn't, either option has tons of potential for more ideas!

>>7119558
If you could post individual stories and tag them, so we know what the content is, that'd be cool.

>>7119568
>>7119558
Ok
http://pastebin.com/n8AdyKcN
first story i ever wrote between /d/ and /mlp/ for the winter ball 2 years ago has a jokingly vanilla theme includes futa and adult situations

http://pastebin.com/4Q1uKYTY
still /d/ and /mlp/ domming each other with bondage and stuff im bad at descriptions just read it

http://pastebin.com/W0rH97Pp
Emily of /mlp/ gets shrunk and antic ensue

http://pastebin.com/6aErpQYa
I wrote this for my old mistress it's a bimbo story includes bondage and ditzyness

>>7119583
feel free to take time to enjoy the titles of all the stories theyre pretty clever in my most humble of opinions

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>>7118824

>>7118373
>Kaisha see's his search history

Fuck that's a good idea for a comedy scene.

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>>7119345
Thats why they should go full Project Orion and enhance their existing skeleton and nervous system to insane levels as well.

>>7119746


Looks like Snek snubbed it unfortunately. Not all of my ideas can be winners.

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>>7118824
>Mother/Daughter incest
>Dickgirls
>Draws the line at power play

>>7119873
Why does everyone think that I was drawing the line anywhere? Are they retarded? I only made that one post.

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Saw some of Leeterr's gifs nd want to toss out a request for a Lara/Werewolf if that doesn't fall too much into furry territory. Thinking of something different than the usual 'wander into territory and get raped' thing. Perhaps more consensual where they help each other out on an island against a third force? Mutual respect grows and they either have a heat of the moment shag or something more meaningful.

>>7119992
damn, dude, need more Lara pics and fics

>>7119992


Who cares if it does fall there, you can still link it. Just can't upload it here

>>7119756
Fuck that.
Moralez needs to end up as a cymek. All hail the perfect balance of machine and man.

>>7119568
Com'on snek, make it happen. Cymek time. Or maybe that's what the brokers are.... hmmm...

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>>7120050
>>7120053
Might as well make him a Tech-priest if he wants to go full retard.

>mfw I get a plot bunny in my head, the only title of the directory in iA Writer I can think of is Futa Rape Story and I realize I have to be more specific.

>>7115512
their romance is so cute i love it

Is there a story where a human is used as a succubus' personal sex toy until he gets her pregnant?
Can be any other female demon as well.

Hey Snekguy, do you think you'll end up getting 'textbook' nude reference pictures for the polar and equatorial Borealans for your field guide project?

>>7119583
You're almost there with the formatting, don't be afraid to use more breaks in order to split those larger blocks of text up a bit.

>>7119836
The idea is good, but a bit too comedic for the tone of this story I think.

I'm working on the zero-G stuff too, anywhere towards the central hub of Pinwheel starts losing gravity pretty fast, so you'd be pretty much in freefall in most of the control center.
Problem is they don't let just anyone in there, it's reserved for station personnel.
Not sure if I'll have time to get that in, or if I can find a way to make it work.

>>7120053
Brokers are gonna have a robotic element, yeah.
I've been working on them, so far I figure they're aquatic aliens of some kind. They're called Brokers because of their mercantile leanings.
They can't survive on land, so when they have to surface to interact with the other species, they use pressurized robotic suits called Breakers, that are also combat-capable in case deals go south.
That's where humans get their exosuit technology from, which was mentioned briefly in the first Pinwheel.

Trying to figure out how sex will work though if humans and Brokers have to live at different pressures. May have to make it so that they're like an octopus maybe, and they're just awkward on land without the pressure differential killing them.

>>7120446
So far I've got the ones of Ursi that you guys have seen already, and I'm in the commission pipeline for one of Raz, unfortunately that's about all I can afford at the moment. I burned through all the money I made on my last commission buying art for the guide, lol.
I'll have one good full body shot of each race though, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Did this general migrate from /aco/ or has it always been on /d/?

>>7120453
This was a /tg/ general first but we were forced to move here due to mods being shit at handling a single/small group of shitposters. We predate that board by several years.

>>7120455
Ah, okay. I ask because there was an /efg/ on /aco/ but it didn't survive very long.

>>7120456
No relation to us has far as I know. And again, we were on /d/ before the people on /aco/ decided to make their own version of this general there.

>>7120449
>They can't survive on land, so when they have to surface to interact with the other species, they use pressurized robotic suits called Breakers, that are also combat-capable in case deals go south.
>That's where humans get their exosuit technology from, which was mentioned briefly in the first Pinwheel.

ok snek I love your writing but I have to take issue with this: how the hell does an underwater species develop technology? Computer-driven at that.
just the nature of having to live underwater, not to mention living in high pressure zones, would mean an environment where sophisticated technology could not develop.
I know pinwheel is only mildly hard Sci-Fi but trying to say that a species developed computers and robosuits underwater is pure fiction.

>>7120655
It's been done, by far better authors than me.
Check out the Gw'oth from Larry Niven's Fleet of Worlds series for a good example of how it could happen.

>>7120663
"Let's try the first test of the underwater computer. Turn on the power!"
(a fishman on the shoreline throws a plugged-in toaster into the ocean)
"And that's why I'm the last of my species."

I'm just kidding. Go for it, snek.

>>7120669
Well the way the Gw'oth did it was to use ocean vents to smelt metal, which eventually resulted in them making reverse diving bells to explore the ice sheet of their ocean planet. They were able to establish outposts on the surface, which then allowed them to do more conventional chemistry and electronics.

>>7120460
If they're willing to come over here, we'd be happy to have them.

>>7120676

Well that's just fucking awesome. You need to put more cool shit like that in your writing!

>>7120676
It helped that they were living calculators.

>>7120805
Yeah, that was oddly the least plausible aspect of their design. Like the fucking Octospiders from Clarke's Rama series, what a fucking let-down those were. The Protectors and the Puppeteers were always my favorites though, never seen anything like those before or since.
Clarke actually did something similar in his third Odyssey book though, the Europans used ice sheets shaped like lenses to focus sunlight in order to create heat in an environment where there was nothing to burn. I don't recall if they were partially aquatic or not, I think they were, and similarly they ventured onto the ice sheets.

>>7120786
Hopefully I can come up with something original as their origin story. I don't want to take too much inspiration, even though it's difficult to imagine other ways it could happen in that environment.

Oh boy I sure wish someone would write a story where an Eldar gets captured by the Inquisition and forced to lactate for some reason.

>>7120916
just for a laugh haha

>>7120916

Something gives me the impression this isn't going to happen. Maybe it's the fact that 80% of all posts in this thread are snekguy and his little circlejerk.

>>7120937
I posted my stories and no one has said a thing about it
>>7119583
>>7119558

The bimbo one is very meh because of the rather obnoxious first-person dialogue. And the other ones are very run of the mill smut with no real substance

>>7120947
meant for >>7120942

>>7120916
>forced to lactate

Don't think that's been done before, it an Eldar at least.

>>7120937


They're actually about people whining about Snek while he furiously posts more content.

Have you tried shutting the fuck up and just posting whatever you actually want to discuss?

>>7120937
I'm a fan of Beginner but I haven't seen him post in months, so Snek fills the void.

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>Wanted to have chapter 2 done by last Friday

Love coils will be updated by tonight sometime. After that, I'll probably start updating in smaller pieces like Snek

>>7120951

How do you think you could induce lactation in an Eldar?

Just wondering haha

I wonder what their milk tastes like

>>7120953

>They're actually about people whining about Snek while he furiously posts more content.

That's a blatant untruth.

>Have you tried shutting the fuck up and just posting whatever you actually want to discuss?

How about Snekguy just stops announcing every time he updates his stories with a few thousand words to constantly fan his own flame here. There's such a thing as twitter, tumblr, and blogspot to make posts like that. When a single author starts to consume hundreds of posts of individual threads with updates and discussion on his stories, that's great and all and he's very successful, but he probably should just start making his own threads for his own stories and settings.

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>>7120974
Why don't we just make it so authors post updates every 5-10K words? That way we have more shitposting and discussion in between updates.

>>7120974

No, fuck off. He posts his updates in the thread because we WANT to see it, and he needs the feedback like any other author. What people don't want to see is your constant whining about him.

>>7120974
Literally nothing is stopping anyone from talking about something else or posting their stories. Threads don't have a post limit and /d/ is so slow even bump limit doesn't matter. And fuck you for wanting to kick out a content creator because he's making content. All you're bitching about is one writer can write faster than others, responds to his readers, people talking about stories they like, popular thing being popular, etc.

>>7120980
I can't speak for anyone else, but the only reason I hold off on smaller updates is because I'm afraid certain scenes will feel "unfinished" if I don't reach a certain point

>>7120986
That's good etiquette, prevents the reader from getting blue-balls over a scene stopping halfway.

>>7120984

I think it's great that he provides so much content, but you must admit it does tend to eclipse everything else.

>>7120990
That was mostly the case, since chapter 2 is a big build up to Cecil and Amber's first time, there probably won't be as large as a gap in updates after this one, though it probably still won't be at the same speed as Snek. College and all that get's in the way

>>7120980

Yes, I guess everything that isn't Snekguy or about Snekguy constitutes shitposting to you cunts.

>>7120984

It's great that you guys love his content so much, but honestly I'm so fucking sick and tired of scrolling through these threads looking for authors I actually do enjoy reading and seeing nothing but snekguy all the way down. It's simply absurd how many posts he takes up and even if all he did was limit his updates to once every two days, his work ethic would still produce the same amount of material to discuss.

>>7120985

>Literally nothing is stopping anyone from talking about something else or posting their stories.

You are wrong about that. How is anyone supposed to compete for attention with someone like Snekguy? How many stories have been posted in this thread that haven't received even an iota of attention compared to his? Not one post of discussion, criticism, nothing. Maybe it's because they aren't presenting a whole new setting to be explored and discussed, but these threads are ultimately supposed to be about smut, and a lot of the discussion regarding snekguy and his content is about his home made setting, which honestly you all could discuss anywhere, even in your own threads here on /d/.

Moreover, Snekguy is the only author who posts in the 'update every couple thousand of words' format, and it's not only obnoxious, it's unfair to all the authors who don't use that format in their posts.

>>7121004
Nothing is stopping you from discussing/critiquing those other stories, but you'd rather just bitch about snekguy. Everyone is not going to read all the stories posted. People only like certain fetishes and will avoid the stories containing the ones they dislike. Remember, this was originally a /tg/ general many of the anons here are still fa/tg/uys and we like worldbuilding. A change in boards will never change that. The only reason he can keep doing the ~2000 word update style is because he doesn't a have job/schooling currently. He can't remain like that forever so his update style will eventually change. Really though, your complaints just boil down to "quit liking and discussing what I don't like"

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>>7121004
Here's a thought, filter Snekguy out.

Right now he's the one that updates the most, but that doesn't mean we only read his stuff and snub other writers. Mask wrote the "Henric and Alex" story back when we were on /tg/ and people were begging him to write faster to see how it ends. If someone creates a good story people are gonna want more of it.

>>7121011

>Nothing is stopping you from discussing/critiquing those other stories, but you'd rather just bitch about snekguy.

Actually the thing stopping me from discussing the other stories is that all my favorite authors are gone and haven't posted a single goddamn thing in ages. I haven't seen anything I like here for months.

>Remember, this was originally a /tg/ general many of the anons here are still fa/tg/uys and we like worldbuilding.

Worldbuilding is fun. But there's no excuse for how much of these threads are taken up by solely snekguy's worldbuilding.

>Really though, your complaints just boil down to "quit liking and discussing what I don't like"

How about "quit taking up thread after thread and driving away authors by giving them no feedback and giving all of it to a single fucking guy"? How do you expect new or old authors to come back and participate here with stories or what have you if only one author gets any attention?

>b-but why don't you be the change you want to see

I can't fix these fucking threads alone. Either the community makes a concentrated effort to resolve the issue, or you might as well rename them /snekguy/ and delete everything in the smut list except for his content.

>>7120947
>>7120950
yeah sorry but she wanted it in first person so i had to do it

any advice on how add substance? I'm new if it wasn't obvious

>>7121022
Henric and Alex was otome garbage though, and I don't remember any clamor over it

>>7121026
Is bitching the only thing you're going to contribute to this thread? Why should everyone who likes the content being made be forced to cater to and bend over to appease a single asshurt fag when he's minority in the thread? The community likes snek's stuff, why would we want to kick him out for writing for us?

>>7121022

>Right now he's the one that updates the most, but that doesn't mean we only read his stuff and snub other writers.

Going off what I've seen, that is exactly what it means. You're a regular crowd that only comes around for Snekguy and his content, of which there is a lot added on a constant basis, which means the majority of your reading time is spent reading his stuff rather than anyone else's.

> Mask wrote the "Henric and Alex" story back when we were on /tg/ and people were begging him to write faster to see how it ends.

The discussion of Henric and Alex never took up more than 30 posts in a thread at most, even when the finale was posted. It was also posted in updates only once a week, rather than 1-3 times per day. There is a massive difference between what mask did and what Snekguy is currently doing.

>If someone creates a good story people are gonna want more of it.

That no longer seems to be the case.

There's little to no worldbuilding going on, though. It's just repetitive cocksucking that does nothing but state "I like X" "I didn't see that coming" "Please Snekguy, please let me choke on your cock". It's not constructive and it's utterly asinine to think it doesn't hurt other writers to see half the thread solely dedicated to one of the most mediocre authors I've seen in these threads.
You can like his work all you want, just fucking limit the circlejerk a bit, please. You don't have to chip in every single time he updates (which is too frequent to provide any actual critique on his work, because in 3 thousands words he's done just about fuck all with the story) solely to say something you've already said a hundred times before.

>>7121032

>Is bitching the only thing you're going to contribute to this thread?

Are you going to actually address the problem?

>Why should everyone who likes the content being made be forced to cater to and bend over to appease a single asshurt fag when he's minority in the thread?

Argumentum ad populum. If the majority of you like snekguy's stuff, then there should be no issue with him starting his own threads so that smaller authors can try to get feedback here.

>The community likes snek's stuff, why would we want to kick him out for writing for us?

Getting his own threads means he's made it big. It's not kicking him out. It's a promotion. Getting his own threads also means that he gets more attention. It's a win-win. When a fish outgrows a pond, you move them to the lake.

>>7121036
>You're a regular crowd that only comes around for Snekguy and his content

Nice assumption faggot, I come here for all stories to see if anything catches my interest. Beginner and Monster are some of my favorite writers, and snek just added to that list. Some of my favorite stories are written by anons as well.

Hey snekkers, got an update soon? We could use something worthwhile to talk about rather listening to one asshurt anon.

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>its an angry shitposter ruins the thread because people like the things he hates episode

No please keep bitching about a single writer, it'll only encourage other writers to avoid updating or even posting here altogether to avoid turbo faggots like you.

>>7121027
Um anyone? I'm new here and looking for advice?

>>7121053
Remove all character from your self insert, make every other character want to fuck them for no reason, and makes sure you stretch everything out needlessly and post updates every hundred words.

>>7119583
>>7121053
Not a fan of futa or bimbos, but here's some comments on the general writing style that I hope can be helpful. Mostly I think it's just a matter of thoughtful practice.

For me, these all suffer from very flat characters; there's very little in the way of motive or emotion, and is mostly just a sequence of saying and doing things, which leaves me a little cold. When motives do exist, they seem to be present only for as long as it takes to justify an immediate action.

This is a pretty typical problem with smut fiction across the wider internet; the only advice I can think of is to take the rough scenario you had in mind, then try and build more detailed characters that might happen to find themselves drifting into that kind of interaction, and then just write about those characters interacting. You should only have to make the slightest nudges to get things moving along the scene ideas you wanted to cover, while it should help produce more natural character interaction that implies they have an existence larger than being participants in a sex scene and avoid the somewhat stilted tone of the dialogue at present.

>>7121046

Beginner has posted like one thing in the last several months, and Monster straight up doesn't post anymore. You're here for Snekguy.

>>7121049
>>7121051

You should both be ashamed of yourselves. This is exactly the kind of behavior that creates circlejerks. All you're doing is reinforcing everything I've been saying. Pull your heads out of your asses.

>>7121057
thank you! yeah with demona and emily their characters are already kind of developed so i didn't really flush them out too well because i was writing it for an audience that knew who they were already but that's my beginners mistake i guess

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>>7120942
I gave you some feedback on the formatting here:
>>7120449

>>7121004
You complain nobody is discussing other stories or posting feedback, while failing to do so yourself.
I try very hard to at least give some constructive criticism to stories that get posted, although I don't always have time to read them all if I want that criticism to be genuine.

>>7120961
Cool, I look forward to their first scene!
I've really liked the way you've developed their relationship so far, it feels very organic.

>>7121038
5000 word update for my biggest fan, new content at “You look concerned, Lieutenant. Don't worry"

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
New tags:
>graphic hand-holding

>>7121049
You got it.

>>7121051
This desu senpai, autistic drama is far more likely to drive away new authors than the popularity of one writer.
I've tried to be friendly and accommodating to these guys but I can't comply with "go away and stop posting".