Crossdressing

Do you have any interest in crossdressing outside of a sexual context?

Maybe you felt a desire to try crossdressing and felt like sex was the easiest outlet to do so because it's not really socially acceptable to do outside of that.

Given what you're posting, I assume you're into traps - maybe, since you find it attractive when other people are crossdressing, you might thought you'd enjoy it yourself, but you don't really enjoy it as much as you expected to.

On a similar note, are you particularly masculine or feminine? Maybe you like traps but aren't really very feminine yourself so it doesn't really feel the same to crossdress?

>>6833687
Well, if you actually do enjoy doing it, i wouldnt say you should stop doing it. Also, i know you say you arent, but if you did become trans, you gotta think about yourself before her and all, if she really cares about you she will accept you
if TL;DR, People who matter wont mind, and those who mind dont matter.

>>6833687
Try to make it clear both for you and for her what is your fetish about. Some people are trans, but crossdressing sometimes is just crossdressing. If you know or can think of examples of people from these fetishes, it could help your girfriend to see your fetish in better perspective, with less worry or fear of losing you.
Also might help if you compare your fetish to one of hers. If you don't know any, ask her first - that is also a great opportunity to share things like that, that often gets stuck by waiting for the right moment for too long. Once you say crossdressing is just like a fetish she might have - like, playing with food, roleplaying, rape, whatever - she might understand you better as well.

>>6833707
She's beautiful.

OP here, sorry for late answers

>>6833763
I have no interest in crossdressing outside of sexual context at all.
Yeah, it might be that I didn't enjoy it as much as I expected to. I'm into traps, but also forced feminization. I'm having trouble finding out if it's just the thought of it that I like.
I am pretty masculine, wouldn't make a good trap at all.

>>6835030
Yeah, it have occured to me that I might enjoy it more if I didn't feel so ashamed of it.

>>6835161
I know crossdressing for me is just crossdressing. The problem is that she doesn't have a fetish and she doesn't watch porn. She likes doing it outside and play with food, if that counts as a fetish.

>>6835187
She really is.

Update:
I have thrown out my CD stuff and plan to forget it. Told my GF too. She said it was okay, but it would also be okay if I regretted it and wanted to back to it.

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OP, she is the one who suggested you do it again. Is she into it? I understand that crossdressing is kind of an embarassing/shameful thing to be into, but that's by "normal" standards. We're not normal here. So if she likes it, and you like it, what's wrong?

From personal experience, I had insecurities that my wife (gf at the time) was just encouraging me to crossdress because she thought I liked it. I was scared she wasn't really into it and was just encouraging it for me. It took a while to accept that it wasn't just something I was into... she was into it too.

Might your gf really be into it and she's just being indifferent because she's not sure how to talk bout liking this kind of thing?

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>>6835325
Yeah, she suggested it, but it was only because I brought it up in the first place. She said it was a little weird seem me like that, but it wasn't really a problem. She might get into it, but for now she would do it to please me.
These two times we have tried it, it has only been with panties and I am worried if it was more than that, it would be even more weird for her.
It might be that she's not sure how to talk about this, but I honestly don't think she is into it. Although she has reassured me a couple of times that she isn't grossed out by it and it's completely fine with her.

>>6835288

OP every single girl i've been with, it hasn't worked sexually if she wasn't, in the end, into me being a trap.

I don't wanna seem like a downer, but sexuality is a really important role in a relationship. you'll slowly figure out if she's into it.

Best of luck friend.

I'll tell you, the less ashamed of it you are then you will get less sexual enjoyment.

Of course now that I am transitioning I'm generally less sexual.

>>6833687
Sauce? I'm trying to reverse image it but I'm blacking out from this raging boner.

>>6835433
http://myreadingmanga.info/makuro-ash-wing-bf-bijoux-fantaisie-eng/

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>>6835411
Yeah, that makes sense. I appreciate every advise I can get on this. Thank you

>>6835428
I guess part of the reason why it is so exciting is because of me being ashamed of it, so if we embraced it, it might stop being exciting...

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I think at its deepest root sex is about sadomasochism, although it can be very taboo for most people to admit it. Life itself operates under the same structure, we often put ourselves through painful experiences with the expectation of receiving pleasure later on.

Cross-dressing has become conflated with transsexualism, and I think it can be very confusing for a lot of cross-dressers to understand that for them cross-dressing is simply a way of expressing masochism in a playful manner. The degree of this masochism is different for everyone, but I believe at its root expressing femininity is expressing your desire for being treated one way over another.

And so because of this we tend to think of ourselves as -being- female, because or desires veer toward a gender that usually associates with those traits, and if we aren't transgender we feel a sense of shame or disappointment in ourselves for expressing this desire.

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Life is a playful dance, and people like us, cross-dressers, play a particularly unusual dance, we need that extra spin on things because the usual just isn't enough for us. We are too particular! In some ways maybe even a bit elitist. How plain and boring those other couples must be. Don't those people know anything about living!

Being a male who crossdresses with his partner in privacy can be a liberating and empowering thing. There is a kind of manliness in crossing to the other side, in giving yourself over to a desire, and moving with the river rather than fighting it. Think of all those uptight people, never letting themselves go, always carrying all that tension. Maybe they are tense because they are afraid? Maybe they are afraid because they can't let themselves go?

I believe a man can be proud to grow a beard and lead the work place while bringing his employs around him up, and to also delicately shave his body and meekly and sincerely give himself to another with pride and playfulness. That man doesn't take himself seriously, and sees the world for the game it is, and chooses to gain that control by letting go of it.

I believe a man like that knows how to have a good fucking time.

you haven't lived until youve sexually dominated your partner while wearing a cute summer dress.

throw it all out.

>>6833687
Misread title as crossbreeding.
Thought that was new.
Started reading
Got disappointed.

>>6836522
>I think at its deepest root sex is about sadomasochism, although it can be very taboo for most people to admit it.
It's not.
100 percent not.
> I think it can be very confusing for a lot of cross-dressers to understand that for them cross-dressing is simply a way of expressing masochism in a playful manner.
I absolutely disagree.
>at its root expressing femininity is expressing your desire for being treated one way over another.
You should get out of the D/s scene and look at how other people express their sexuality, because your view is warped by your own desires.

>>6833687
Don't worry OP. Crossdressing can be very sexy if you do it with confidence. I think it helps to see crossdressing as sort of like a kinky hobby. Something you might spend some of your money and free time on to work on. Keeping your gf pleased and cool about it is important. Really try your best to get her to try and be honest about it.

>The problem is that she doesn't have a fetish and she doesn't watch porn. She likes doing it outside and play with food, if that counts as a fetish.

I don't believe that there are people who are not wierd somewhere deep down inside. Maybe she doesn't trust you enough yet or is ashamed of some of her desires. Talk to her more and reasure her that your not going to be wierd about anything she says.

>>6836523
Should I really just let go?
I want to transition and be dominated, but I can't stop thinking about the effects.
Won't it influence my sex life, my career? What once I get older in about 10 years? Will I be very ugly?
It's very hard for me to make decisions.
I don't know whether it's worth it.

>>6836522
Honestly I sometimes wonder about Darwinism and if I'm doing it to blend in with the women. Great way to get closer to them and learn their secrets and as an added bonus sometimes other men will rail me in the ass. Plus the clothes are more aesthetically and functionally pleasing to me at least.

>>6837040
Masochism is wide spread so unless it's a cosymptom of another useful trait it's safe to assume that following Darwinism it is indeed evolutionarily useful.

And it makes perfect sense.

A human isn't the ideal lone warrior. They depend on a social group to be successful.
All you have to do is appeal to the group in order to live long enough to procreate.
Social groups include a division of roles. Assertiveness and submission are important tools of sorting out hierarchy to warrant the groups functionality.

>>6833687
I thought I was trans when I dscovered my fetish
Turns out I'm just a sub so I gravitated towards the feminine porn because traditionally women are submissive
See if you can break down your sexuality like that so you can help her understand

Nobody here knows how this will go for you. Maybe you'll get bored of cross-dressing, maybe it'll be a minor thing, or a big thing, maybe you'll go full-blown trans with hormones and surgery, we don't know. But there are a lot more people in the other categories than in the last one.

Most people who wouldn't mind being hit by the magic sex-change ray are not trans. I have had several girlfriends on their periods say they wish they were a guy (at least for the moment). Being able to identify with the opposite sex (as well as your own), even in porn scenes, doesn't make a person trans. (I usually identify with whoever's giving oral, regardless of sex.) Adopting untraditional gender roles, which a substantial minority of people have been doing since forever, is not trans. Unless you clearly identify with the other biological sex AND you don't identify with your own, I'm not seeing an issue that needs addressing.

I usually cross-dress -- skirt and stockings -- during sex and housework. It's an on-the-nose way of showing I don't mind her wearing the pants. I know what's important to me, and most things my wife wants don't conflict with that, so I try to do as I'm asked. I previously got my fill of the petty arguments that come when both partners want equality or better, and my ego is fine with much fewer arguments and slightly less than half the power. (And yes, being the bottom is a turn-on -- as I bet was the case for most 1950s happy housewives. Equality and keeping score are not turn-ons.)

Nonetheless, I'm not trans. I wasn't somehow born a woman in some vague neurological sense. Without disrespecting those who are trans, I and most people don't need to drag surgery or hormone injections into this.

>>6837435
Well said.

The other thing I will say is perusing my interests, while scary at the time, has never been something I've regretted. There are things I would have done differently had I the hindsight, but never something I would take back.

Living with no regrets is a hell of a thing.

>>6838294
*pursuing

Dang cellphone

>>6837009
I know she trusts me completely and I don't doubt that she has some kind of sexual weirdness in her, but she hasn't discovered it yet. Dunno how to make her discover it though.

>>6837416
That's the way I explained my futa fetish to her. The problem with this fetish is that I got it kind of early on and didn't get it from porn, so I can't explain it like that.
I have tried to explain it though, I don't know if it helped, but she seemed kind of inboard with the explanation.

>>6837435
>wish they were a guy (at least for the moment)
Isn't this like saying "I wish I had it easier" and not "I wish I were of the opposite biological sex"?

>Being able to identy as the opposite sex
I know I do this from time to time, but the problem is I don't know if it's just the thought of it that makes it exciting or of it's also the act.

>had my fill of petty arguments that come when partners want equality or better
I haven't experienced this. I think we just take turns or leave it to the one must suited to the task. None of us have more power than the other.

I don't know if I am a sub or not. This fetish was something I got before I have had sex. Of all the time I have done it with my gf, I have been very dominant.

>>6836986
everything in the world is about sex, except sex
sex is about power

Why are there never girls dressing as boys?

>>6835187

It's a he.

It's fine to be gay or bi, just dont be in denial.

>>6833687
Look up Dan Savage and what he says about the "price of entry", it's really good. Your fetish is no big deal and it's fine if she's not into it. If she's going to be all crazy then you can't help that, but don't be ashamed of what you like.

>>6839623
There are girls dressing as boys, but it's just not frowned upon. There are lots of them actually.

>>6839684
It was really good, he made a lot of sense. So I guess what you're saying is that either she accept it or it becomes an "price of admission" she is willing to pay or it will get on the list of things she can't stand about me. The problem is that sexuality is more important than some small issue you have about your partner. It's something both parts must agree on, or else it won't work. The way I see it, the easy way out is just never to act on it even if I shouldn't be ashamed of being like that.