>$14.4 Million first weekend
>13% Tomatometer Rating
What went wrong, /co/?
why did any film bother coming out the same weekend as star wars? the idiots who made this movie were deluded if they thought people would take their kids to see a chipmunk movie instead of fucking star wars
looks like it got
JEsus fuck seriously? That's a whole 'nother level of awful
I guess you could say they've hit Rock bottom
Speaking estimated percentage wise for a movie like this, how much does box office matter compared to DVD sales, merchandise, Netflix/Hulu/Amazon video revenue, CN buying the rights to play it on tv, etc.?
Because, yea the movie fucking bombed like Hiroshima, but it'll probably make its money back eventuality, right?
>releasing on the same day as fucking Star Wars
Did the guy in charge of its release date just fucking hate his job or what's the logic here? Releasing anything in the same fucking month as a new Star Wars is half past retarded, let alone the same goddamn day.
>$14.4 Million first weekend
>13% Tomatometer Rating
Everything is as it should be.
The movie only existed as a cash grab so why did they bother going against Star Wars? Was the movies budget so low that they knew even going alongside what will be the most viewed movie of the year it'll still make a profit?
Not to tip my fedora too hard with the whole "fake nerd girl" spiel, but I'm genuinely curious how many people saw it for "nerd cred" or just out of obligation because Star Wars.
Like imagine episodes if Episodes 1-6 never existed, and this the Force Awakens was the first ever Star Wars movie, would it have been even a fraction as successful?
Oh I get it, it is so very obvious now....
The WEST must be destroyed, is that it?
>The chipettes dancing to a fart song
sometimes mere reaction images can't convey the sheer amount of brain-dissolving rage I'm experiencing.
I keep this link handy for just these circumstances.
skip to 6:55 for an accurate representation of the amount of rage I'm currently experiencing.
>a pun on "Boys in the hood"
>they're standing on the hood of a car
>that's the entire joke
That is the laziest fucking pun I've probably ever seen in my entire life.
That's REALLY the best they could come up with?
I worded it wrong, I mean would it have been successful at all? Would it even make its budget back?
Generally speaking, space operas that aren't preestablished are a fucking huge risk.
Then the answer is no, even the original Star Wars was a huge risk and pretty much no one wanted to finance it. The only reason it worked was because it remixed so many familiar elements into something new while ripping off movies most of the audience had never seen anyway.
You know, despite the fact that fart jokes are as low as low brow humor can get, 4chan has ruined fart jokes in cartoons for me, because I know, somewhere, some fucking guy is getting off to this.
Search "chipmunks farting" on deviantart, and I'd bet my left nut you'd get at least a fucktillion results.
>Spend whole life trying to get into the business
>Given job working on animated movies
>I'ts an Alvin and the Chipmunks series
>Have to work on mediocre, but acceptable projects for years
>The studio likes you, the company trusts your word, but the garbage you create fills you with shame
>You just wanted to make art
>One day you're told to take part in making this abomination >>78338351
>Can't do it anymore, even if it costs your job
>At a meeting discussing release date
>"Let's release it the same day as Star Wars."
>Some others at the table look worried about your suggestion
>You give some bullshit about counter-marketing, it works
>Months after, the movie bombs
>"I'm sorry anon but we have to let you go"
>Cry tears of joy knowing you did the right thing
That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
what the fuck
that couldn't have been intentional
I'm with ya, anon.
The only logical conclusion I've come to concerning the release date is some guy(s) throwing their hands up and saying "Fuck this movie, fuck this job, fuck this company, fuck everything."
Either that or EVERYONE involved had a lapse in judgment at the exact same time.
I want that minute and 20 seconds back
The logic is simple though.
If SW is sold out and kids with their parents are already at the theater, they'd likely watch Alvin and The Chipmunks instead.
It sometimes works, but SW is just too big and people are willing to wait for it.
it took 5 seconds to lose my faith in mankind and close it
>VIRAL is on the name
>just 14k views and a bunch of dislikes
Yes, but the thing is there aren't just two movies in theaters, and I can see your logic.
>Alvin will get the families who can't get a seat to SW because it's a kids/family movie
The flaw in this is, why torture yourself and sit through Alvin? If you're already gunho to bring your youngins to see Ep 7, which, from what I've heard is pretty violent and kinda dark, you're not gonna take your kids to see a kids movie simply because it's for kids, you'll take them to go see Krampus or whatever the fuck is playing now.
it scares the shit out of me on how often the simpsons were right about future events...
The term "viral video" and the fuckwits who believe they can make a video go "viral" just by making it silly and weird fucking triggers me.
Actual viral videos like, idunno, Gangnam Style are lightning in a bottle. They're like those badass trick shots you pull off when nobody else is in the room and you know you couldn't do it again in a million years, you don't go in trying to make it happen, it just happens.
The Amazing Atheist gave me my favorite example of this,
>AA makes a video of himself waving a blueberry scented candle around, singing "BLUEBERRY PIE, BLUEBERRY PIE"
>came out with a video shortly after, buttmad that people weren't using the Blueberry pie video as the new "Never gonna give you up", and RickRolling people with his video
>10 seconds in, seen enough
>Something fucks up, video audio keeps playing in the background
>Have to hear fucking all of it
What have I done to deserve this.
Thank Christ, because sometimes I think, "Maybe that was just a dream I had, there's no way a human being could be that fucking arrogant and stupid."
Then again, it's a guy who fucking brags about being atheist.
Don't get me wrong, I'm non-religious too, but I don't label myself and strut around like I'm hot shit because of it.
>I now have "Pizza toots" and an Amazing Atheist video in my history
Does anyone know how to get in contact with the NSA? I wanna call and explain myself.
>I now have that shit stuck in my head
IT'S JUST JINGLE BELLS BUT STUPID AS FUCK GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
My first instinct is that there's a filename joke there, but there's nothing a filename could add to this image. It speaks for itself
>katana was sheathed
>no trench coat
>no fingerless gloves
>hair wasn't in a greasy ponytail
The magnitude of his tipping was far too low to achieve dank meme status and he paid the ultimate price for it.
>there are people who sat in a room together, wrote this, recorded this, and built an entire video around it
Does Fox have a little tiny fairy in a box that predicts the future?
Thats how they promoted the movie? IS that somekind of "Guranteed flop" stick like in "the Producers"?
>Christmas song remixed to be about pizza farts sung in the most annoying voice imaginable
Well that's something I definitely didn't need in my life.
>somebody actually had to sit in the studio and sing these fucking lyrics
>Somebody had to write these lyrics
>Somebody had to sing them
>Somebody had to edit them for the chipmunk voices
>Somebody had do the CGI choregraphy of this song
>Somebody had to edit the music into the video
>At no point did anyone involved in the process go "wait, that's stupid, we can't make that, it's fucking terrible, let's start back from scratch"
Were the Chippettes supposed to be their siblings or what?
I think I remember them singing "We Are Family" at the end of one of the movies which would make the sexual implications weird if they're supposed to be related.
You know, I've seen people on 4ch scoff at universities that teach about "internet culture", but fuck me, if I had the money to waste, I'd enroll in a second.
Shit like Gangnam Style, Hotline Bling, and even fucking pepe must have some kinda connecting thread that explains why they get so fucking popular.
Sadly, "internet culture" are more "look we're so hip for knowing of the may mays" than "study and investigation into how certain images, videos, phrases, etc. catch on and spread around the internet."
Which is a real shame, because it would be interesting to see some actual research done on the subject. Sadly, most academics are too busy squealing over how "unsafe" and "gross" 4chan is to ever bother trying to understand board culture.
They are honestly stupid, I need to explain. Stuff like pizza toots is made to be stupid, it is trying way to hard. Stuff like Gangnam style is silly but it is honest, it wasn't just made to be viral. Hotline Bling was made to be a proper video and song and no one got how dumb it was
I only imagine every person working on it knew full well it was garbage except for the one guy who has a say in everything who's just loving it and prancing around about it.
I can't blame 3d studios for doing it since they need any amount of money for anything.
>ACTUALLY naming your video "VIRAL VIDEO"
>In all cap no less
Every day, we step further away from gods light
They're completely unrelated humanoid chipmunks. They also never mention anything about their parents so I just assume that they spawned after a couple of furries caught some chipmunks from their yards and had buttsex with them, and thus started this painful journey that should've ended 50 years ago.
This abortion of a video has somehow manages to ruin fart jokes. This had to be the work of some kind of incomprehensible horror that feeds of the emotions that are the opposites of humor and joy
Doesn't really work in the digital age because theaters can devote as many screens to a single movie as they want so they're not "sold out" until there's literally no more room in the entire theater.
>tfw I honestly thought they were human when I was younger
I feel bad for people who felt they had to be involved in order to keep their jobs, but I give them enough credit to believe that they knew they weren't making high art. Just dumb toilet humor to grab whatever young audience they could get.
>turned off audio 10 seconds in
>Whole song is stuck in my head
This is the definition of auditory cancer
Was there ever a point in history where the chipmunks weren't terrible? I watched the TV show and that movie from the 80's recently and they were all 5/10 at best.
I'll never stop posting this until this man is found.
The 2-D feature film was pretty damn good in my opinion. Good animation, music, and was pretty dark for a kids film. That's the only Chipmunk thing I've seen though so I really don't know.
I liked that one movie where they befriend some kind of monster thing, and the one where one of them transforms into a werewolf or something like that
At least I remember liking them, it's been like, 10 years or something since I watched them
Chipmunks are fucking annoying little shits that need to die. Hate those fuckers always climbing into my birdfeeder, gnawing away on the roof, and stealing all the birdseed.
At least yours don't fucking sing. You don't know true suffering friend.
I wake up everyday to those horrible faces. Those deformed voices.Those monsters that call me father. I tried to get rid of them but I can't. They follow me everywhere. No one believes me. They think I'm fucking nuts.
That sort of "we'll get the people who couldn't get into another film" mentality would have worked back when most theaters only had a few screens and there weren't half as many ways to check to see if tickets were available before you get to the box office.
I just imagine a dark and smoky room full of broken soulless executives, in sullen silence desperately trying to think of a chipmunk based pun for the new movie, but being creatively devoid soulless husks they keep failing, so they are just stuck there, chain smoking and pounding whiskey in miserable silence.
Children can't tell that this is marketing, they really can't.
Children between the ages of 4-8 with iPads or other tablets will, this is literally what that video is made for, hell this movie is made for the sole purpose of shutting up annoying little shits.
Humanity has no god, for what god could possibly want us?
>whole VIRAL VIDEO GUISE trailer is just one big fart joke
Nothing, this couldn't have gone any better. Someone decided that this film franchise needed to die and were obviously in a position to make it happen.
>Advertised using a song about farts
>Opening weekend needing to compete with Star Wars
>Peanuts still in the cinema's, ensuring that no parent with any say in the matter is going to take their kid to it.
Whoever you are, know that you have my thanks.
We have crafted our own, a deity of pain and twisted malignancy forged from the twisted shards of the lost and sad.
Fed to glutting with our dutiful reverence and sacrifices, it waxes abominably, and shall wax ever greater until we are in distant aeons to come fully consumed.
For this is future we chose, and when the rotting enormity devours us with palsied and dying hunger, then shall come the utter culmination of the human body, mind, and soul.
And that supreme product of a million times a million plague-rotted and evil hearts shall be:
>They also never mention anything about their parents so I just assume that they spawned after a couple of furries caught some chipmunks from their yards and had buttsex with them, and thus started this painful journey that should've ended 50 years ago.
Actually in one of the series Alvin, Simon and Theodore find their mom in the woods and ask her why she abandoned them. I saw it years ago on Cartoon Network.
What if you don't gaze into the abyss, but it comes crawling out instead?
...THAT'S NOT HOW VIRAL VIDEOS WORK.
>how much does box office matter compared to DVD sales, merchandise, Netflix/Hulu/Amazon video revenue, CN buying the rights to play it on tv, etc.?
Merchandise may prop it up but box office still matters.
>Because, yea the movie fucking bombed like Hiroshima, but it'll probably make its money back eventuality, right?
This would've worked before 2008, before DVD sales fell. Nowadays it's less certain, that's why they've been trying to hope that international does extremely well.
I haven't checked any sources on it, but I'm sure as a medium, DVDs are probably on life support by now, that's why I mentioned Netflix, Hulu, Amazon whatever, but how lucrative a deal with a streaming site is compared to DVD sales is beyond me.
He is a Scientologist, but what does that have to do with what movies he appears in?
Also, aside from Jason Lee in these, what's kinda upsetting is seeing David Cross is the first three, like ignoring his euphoric rants on religion that go on way too long, dude's fucking funny. He really has to do fucking Alvin and the Chipmunk movies?
I didn't see the end. It came on before school and I had to leave for the bus before I could find out why. Needless to say, Alvin, Simon and Theodore were very pissed at their mother.
>Did the guy in charge of its release date just fucking hate his job or what's the logic here? Releasing anything in the same fucking month as a new Star Wars is half past retarded, let alone the same goddamn day.
I think he wanted this shitty franchise to end and he found the perfect opportunity.
Guess it had a happy ending
tfw I now wanna look for this now
But the series WAS over.
The last movie came out half a decade ago.
Then again that just helps my point. Someone was so fucking sick of the series and so glad it was over only to have it brought back.
Some things weren't meant for mortal eyes
>The last movie came out half a decade ago.
I just looked on Wikipedia and it says the last movie; Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked came out December 16, 2011. That's less than half a decade ago.
Jesus fucking christ, I expected this to be bad, but not THAT bad.
Is this really what people think clapistans like?
Or rather, is this what americlaps like?
its too late
humanity can't be saved for this
Did this actual air in theaters? Good lord i would hate to see the theater's reaction to this trialer.
>NO FIGHTING IT
>The Chipmunks find their long-lost mother after days of searching. Alvin gets upset because he doesn't understand why she abandoned them. Their mother explains that the year she abandoned them there was a horrible winter and all of the animals in the forest were forced to leave their homes. She realized that they wouldn't survive the journey if she brought them with her, so she decided to leave them with a nice man who was always kind to the forest animals (Dave). She told them that when spring came and she could finally return to get them, she saw how happy they were with Dave, and thought they would be better off with him. Eventually, Alvin forgives his mother. They return to Dave, but the brothers agree to keep in touch with their mother. In a later episode she and Dave clash on how to bring the boys up. Eventually they make up.
>you have people in charge of chipmunks who don't understand chipmunks.
>you have people who decided to release chipmunks same time as star wars.
>you have people who think terrible and unfunny pop puns are grade A entertainment.
Pick one, Flam.
I....I just got it
This ad is cultural pollution
Not only is it ugly and humiliating, but it spawns even more ugly and humiliating bullshit
That's what this is. It's cultural pollution.
Is it really that surprising that a music video by an immensely popular singer got really popular? Stuff like Gangnam Style is a marvel because nobody outside South Korea knew who PSY was before they saw the video, but Drake is one of those artists that gets tens of millions of views on EVERY music video, so it doesn't take much besides being weird and quirky to push that into the 9-digit view count range.
"Break it up, son. Joke's over."
They've milked it for all they can get out of it for now. It's time for the Bagdasarian descendants to put away the Chipmunks for a decade or so and let another generation discover this "treasure" once again later.
Except for Jeanette. Give her a show by herself, as a grown Chipette making it in the big city. It'll be a smash.
Ugh, you people.
If you people would just stop fapping to the fucking girl ones, this awful franchise could have died two decades ago.
STOP THINKING WITH YOUR DICKS FOR ONCE!
I could not find an image to sufficently convey the horror I have experienced upon being informed of this.../thing/'s existance. I hope this stock sound effect will suffice.
>a kid likes a movie for kids and not the sequel to a space opera from the 80's
Come on, dude, leave the girl alone.
And Boco, I try to defend you whenever people blindly hate on you, dude, don't make me start regretting that.
Is it normal to feel dead inside?
Like the little bit of hope and naivety I had left was just erased.?
Oh I know right? That's the only rational explanation I can think of... someone with an extreme fetish was really pushing hard here.
>Someone thought of this idea
>Other people heard it
>They paid people money
>To actually MAKE this.
>This had to have gone through several people and several people totally signed off on it.
This is the end times.
No NO NO NO!!! This is shite through and through. It treats both the children and the audience as if they are morons. It talks down to kids and treats them as nothing more but wallet fillers. You know what, I'll just leave this review right here.
>Only stars in movies featuring three stupid hyper-pitched chipmunks nobody ever liked in a movie extra-dumb downed for kids
>and too top it all off he's balding
oh this poor man...
This is not the apocalypse I imagined.
THIS IS WHY GOD DOESN'T TALK TO US ANYMORE
Alvin and the Chipmunks is where careers go to die, isn't it?
There's no way some executives aren't laundering money with this turd or using it as a writeoff for other losses.
I think "Where careers go to die" isn't the right phrase here.
The proper thing to say is "This is a career's funeral"
Let's all gather around, watch this movie, mourn the loss of this once bright, successful career and pay our respects.
Mike Myers had the Love Guru.
Jim Carrey had Mr. Popper's Penguins.
Christopher Lloyd had Food Fight.
And now Jason Lee has 4 fucking chipmunk movies.
I love that post. So young, so naive.
If you had to stop one franchise from ever getting a movie reboot what would it be? Smurfs or The Chipmunks?
Don't make me choose anon.
I guess Chipmunks, if only because Smurfs has the courtesy to keep to itself while Chipmunks has the audacity to ruin perfectly good songs.
>Feel sorry for the fool who's sleeping next to us tonight.
The irony is unreal.
I know its not intentional but it sounds like the Chipmunks are spitting shit at Star Wars, and are hilariously cocky.
I'm not watching them and chances are someone on Earth is getting some enjoyment out of them, so why take that away?
But if I had to decide which one to kill off, it'd be Chipmunks, solely because every now and then I'll hear one of their songs somewhere and it drives me up the fucking wall.
We must apologize to God.
But we must also understand when he refuses to forgive us.
Something needs to destroy our world immediately.
My week was terrible, now it's nightmarish.
This is the first thing I have ever seen that literally made my jaw drop.
I get it.
It was a joke.
It was all just a cute little joke.
Humanity was just a big, sidesplitting gas.
And it just stopped being funny.
5s get is gonna be stolen by a SUfag