He's sliding on bark and moss. Bark won't give you splinters.
A better question would be: what the fuck was up with the vines? I spent so much of my childhood wondering where I could find vines that were basically rope to swing from.
They're like rock at this point.
It's why Jane's felt so peculiar by comparison.
>not just swinging from tree branches as a child
One of my fondest child-hood memories is of climbing a tree a bit too high up, where the branch I was standing on couldn't actually support my weight, resulting in me hanging from one tree limb while standing on another half-broken limb. I fixed it by grabbing yet another supple branch and swinging myself over to another set of sturdier branches. For that one fleeting moment I WAS Tarzan.
Not Disney's Tarzan, either. The badass Tarzan always wrestling some giant cat animal while wielding a giant knife on the covers of comics.
It's a rain-forest, everything is moist and / or slimy
You know what happens to your soles when walking around barefoot on rough terrain, right? You know the feet have not evolved with shoes in mind, right?
You know this is the jungle we are talking about, where everything is moist, right?
I don't care for feet but women laughing, smiling and giggling is such a turn on for me.
You missed a perfect opportunity to say "because that's what women will be doing when they see it."
I can make fun of myself better than you can.
The tree surfing is the only part of the movie which dates it -- to the mainstream skater era, Tony Hawk etc. But swinging with his feet is based and impossible for human actors.
Still, The new movie looks good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7ty6sViiU
It's not an origin story, he's going back to the jungle, so I'm moderately hyped. Also Suicide Squad Harley is Jane.
Guess it's a good thing you've got a tiny dick then because when they see it they will laugh. They will laugh at your small penis when you show it to them and that is good because laughing women turn you on so you will be turned on when they laugh at your small penis.
D-Did I do better, Senpai?
No but seriously, how shit was that song? I can't believe they not only thought it'd be a good idea to have gorillas perform a jazzy musical piece, while they're destroying every piece the white man brought, but then to also go and make it such an exceptionally shitty one.
Can confirm. It takes me a week and a half to grow unpleasant bristles. It gets to a half inch of patchy shit and I shave it off. It would probably take a year or so for me to grow anything close to a proper beard.
>he's not going to be appealing
I hate my beard. I'm one of those people with thick shitty facial hair that grows in patches and I just look terrible in it.
But it won't stop me from growing a glorious Gandalf beard in my twilight years.
>tfw this scene alone was the cause of my massively fucked up tickling fetish
>having a wholesome fetish that is compatible with a healthy relationship
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why can't you just masturbate to inflation scat like everyone else?