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Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones Storytime

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>A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM_ZWnD40aA
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctFGpQrKrI
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Obi-Wan, Private Eye vs. Jango was the best thing about this one
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It was 2002, and people could say m'lady without the horrible associations.

How times have changed......
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>>78134513

>Dooku hires Jango to kill Padme because reasons
>Jango hires another bounty hunter to kill her for him...

God Episode 2 sucked balls
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>>78134726
Jango makes two mistakes, that one, and jumping into the arena for no reason whatsoever
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>>78134867
LOL
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>>78134914
Oh Sleazebaggano
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This film is the only thing that I can't honestly can't say with absolute certainty is a better love story than Twilight. It's just so, so awful.
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>It's 1944 and America is attacked by Japan
>A PI working out of New York is assigned to protect a senator
>The Senator is almost killed by a mysterious sniper, the PI gives chase but is eluded
>Finds a strange gun left behind
>Goes to the FBI but no one has ever heard of this gun
>Goes to a diner in Broolyn and a fry cook tells him it came from Atlantis
>He goes to the sunken city to find a US army that consists entirely of clones of Simo Häyhä
>Simo Häyhä also works for Hitler now and attacks the detective
>No one knows who these clones are or where they came from, but since the man who trained them closely works for Hitler it's pretty fucking suspect
>The US shrugs and decides to use them anyways
>A couple years later Order 66 goes out and the Jews are exterminated
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>>78134513
>hired to kill Padme
>he then hires another bounty who can shapeshift to use a droid to throw centipedes into her window
Genetic template of the clones, everybody
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>>78135268
I'd read it
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>>78134769
I never thought about it, but he really had no reason to get so close, the dude's a distance fighter, at least in that instance where there's a shitton of dudes with laser swords slinging them around and shit
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>>78135124
Never felt any kind of chemistry between the two at all.

Anakin felt more like an obsessive stalker and Padme just gave in so he wouldn't Sand People her.
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>>78135539
I watched it for the first time last week.
He's actually blasting away from the stands and he decides that Mace is important enough to jump into the stadium?

Damn it, that's lazy writing
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>>78134237
I own this one. They tried pretty hard to make it not-suck.
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>>78135580
My favorite bit is how the "aggressive negotiations" line comes back at the end - which would have been mediocre romcom fodder at best...but is so hollow.
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>>78135580

Man I felt so fucking bad for Portman in these movies. She got stuck with maybe the worst dialogue of the PT and that's fucking saying something, she became a punchline until Black Swan came out.
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>>78135580
I actually blame most of that on Portman, as bad as some of the others acting was/is, she was the fucking worst and made Episode 2 even worse by being so...wooden and stiff
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>>78134914
>Elan Sleazebaggano

BRAVO LUCAS
R
A
V
O

L
U
C
A
S
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>>78136633
Best scene
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>>78135268
You forget to mention that Roosevelt was secretly Hitler's master all along.
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>>78135414
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This comic is worse than the film.

And if you like the film, the statement stays true.
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>>78137034

At least the comic doesn't have the green-screen or CG in it.

I basically can't watch the prequels at all any more because of how ugly they are. They look disgusting.
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>>78137070
>because paper drawings are more convincing than computer imagery
What is logic.
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>>78134237
>A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
Can someone explain to me why?
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>>78137220
>Anakin bows to the Monolith.
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>>78137699
I cant say I read a huge amount of comics but does anyone else find this narration a bit weird
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>>78137781

The density is off the charts here.
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>>78134602
In 2002, you still sounded ridiculous if you talked that way. It works in fantasy settings like Star Wars.
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>>78137741
Bottom left is quite obviously Sith.
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>>78137760
> The geonosians aren't warriors.
They aren't?
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>>78137828
There goes the second or third best thing about the prequels
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>>78137850
This is some stupid shit
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>>78138062
What is happening on that bottom right panel
Like I get that he is getting the other lightsaber but it looks like he's blocking an attack or soemthing
>>
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>>78137314
>>78137339
If Obi Wan would have listened here, or at least considered it for more than a second, the entire rest of the series never would have happened, or would at least be drastically changed
I know that wouldn't really be possible, given this is a prequel and such, but it is still interesting to me that, had Obi done something with this information, he could have changed the course of the universe
>>
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>>78138177
I had the exact same thought when watching it.
Although, this might have been his seduction
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And they all lived happily ever after.
Or did they?
>>
>>78138274
>creepy robot hand
>>
>>78137872
Boba was an embarrassment to his father. That is all.
>>
>>78138356
Really though, other than his fatal strategic error of bringing a blaster to a lazer sword fight...Jango had them moves
>>
>>78138225
True, it's similar to what I assume Vader was doing in ROTJ, and somewhat in ESB if I remember correctly, only I feel like Dooku might have been more genuine in the whole "let's kill the Sith" thing here, as he always seemed less like a straight up evil dude than say, Sheev or Maul
>>
>>78138386
Boba fett does literally jack shit in the god damn movies and i will never understand the love for him
>>
>>78138404
Agreed, although I felt it was meant to be ambiguous, given how Dooku seems to maybe take a bit too much delight in saying that Obi-Wan's screwed once he got rejected.

>>78138434
Yeah, I mean he had a nice design and all, but I wasn't shaken up when they replaced his voice with Jango's actor a few years back
>>
>>78137828
Fun fact: there's a Mace Windu toy that came with a severed Jango head/helmet, for some reason
>>
>>78138501
It's like the only thing of note he does in the movies outside dying.

And in any case, Obi should have been the one to do it in the first place, poetry and whatnot when Boba comes into conflict with Luke's gang
>>
>>78138501
That's hilarious.
>To be, or not to be, that is the motherfucking question.
>>
>>78138567
Like mace would ever say motherfucker
>>
>>78138639
>implying he doesn't when he's undercover
>>
>>78138679
That would necessitate him doing stuff
>>
>>78137072
Am I the only one who think this is Exremely fucked up he murders a godamn village he isn't even a Fucking sith yet and he noont brings this shit up ever again
>>
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>>78138567
It's apparently been repacked a few times, starting with a Clone Wars figure of all things
>>
>>78139348
what the fuck is up with that weird demon cube
>>
>>78139435
It's a game piece if I remember correctly, think it went with that card for some sort of table game that didn't really catch on
>>
>>78137751
It sounds like it might be lifted directly from the screenplay... it's pretty unnecessary, since it's just describing what the art is showing.
>>
>>78137339
the separatists were the good guys all along...
>>
>>78141176
you could say that about the dark side in general
it boggles my mind that to lucas the jedi were good smart people
>>
>>78135501

Well if you put it THAT way it sounds pretty fucking retarded I guess.
>>
>>78134439
whats that alien in the second panel?
>>
I haven't watched The Clone Wars, at any point do the Jedi question why their army is based upon a man that was working for the opposing side?
>>
>>78136672
Literally the only scene I enjoy in the movie
>>
>>78134867
Jesus fucking christ
>>
>>78137175
"I just murdered an entire village of people"
"Aw jeeze Annie, we all make mistakes"
"Women and children too"
"Well fuck man who hasn't"
>>
Everyone in this comic has screwed up faces.

I say tracing from computer models.
>>
>>78142411

The last season includes a serious investigation into Sifo-Diyas, IIRC
>>
>>78138177
He would have joined Dooku, killed Sidious, and become Darth Ben.
>>
>>78141750
>dooku was genuine when he said he wanted to take down sheev
>sheev found out later on and had anakin kill him in ep3
holy shit it all makes sense
>>
>>78148614
It's alright, nobody really sees Tuskens as people anyway.
>>
I don't know why Americans get so buttblasted over Anakin flipping out and killing a bunch of sand people when you lot flipped out and killed a bunch of unrelated sand people after 9/11.

You didn't even say sorry!
>>
>>78137741
why is Jango still sticking around? The way he stands there makes it look as if he was Dooku's Second-in-Command or something. He's a bounty hunter, why should he give a crap about the republic or the seperartists? Take the money and run.
>>
>>78149545
He was still under retainer, dude.
>>
>>78135501
>>78134726
I see you guys didn't play bounty hunter.
Ziam is his partner.
>>
>>78149436
Dooku was too old for the long run. Besides, Sheev likes them young.
>>
I will make a contempt Anakin version out of this one eventually, but if anyone wants to beat me to it, I'll be passive aggressive about it.
>>
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>>78135183
>JUST
>>
>>78149882
>Space Balls the tie-in comic!
>>
>>78149436
To be fair, Sheev was going to do that regardless of whether or not Dooku was plotting against him, especially since Sith are actually expected to do so.

If anything, he'd probably be disappointed if Dooku wasn't secretly planning to kill him.
>>
>>78134726
Do you not know what a stringer is? This is an actual thing people do in real life.
>>
>>78149949
It's also a common enough trope of crime/detective fiction that I'm surprised that anon had never seen it before. The detective subplot Obi-Wan goes on even follows the old setup of each discovery leading to a bigger one until he learns this one crime is all part of something much bigger.
>>
>>78148840
According to Lucas this is exactly what Dooku was going for. His proposal to join him and kill Sidious together was completely genuine, the part Dooku left out was that he was also a Sith and would've tried to manipulated Obi-Wan into voluntarily becoming one as well.

It was kind of a longshot since the two had never met before and their only link was their mutual admiration of Qui-Gon, but Dooku realized that if he couldn't even use that to get Obi-Wan to listen then it wasn't going to work and just abandoned the idea altogether.
>>
>>78148816
They've been questioning a lot of things but haven't had the time to dig through. In the last season they discover Dooku was behind the clone army all along, but they also realize that they're too far into the shit to do anything about it. They decide they have no choice but to keep playing along until they can figure out what the endgame is.

Yoda has another journey where he sees vision that imply pretty heavily that they're not going to win the war, but doesn't get much context. He'll still fight and hope everything turns out okay but he understands that it's probably not going to so he has to put some focus on Plan B- learning how to become a ghost so he can pass on his teachings even after death.
>>
>>78139348
That figure was based on the episodes where Boba tries to kill him in TCW with a bomb and tracking signal planted in Jangos helmet and placed on the crashed Venator cruiser.
>>
>>78137583
Literally buddhist warrior monks
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