Good evening owls of /co/,
Imagine, if you will, it's 2010. And someone in Editorial thinks "Hey, Rise of Arsenal was a great mini! Let's make it an ongoing...and add Deathstroke! And open it all off with some minority legacy hero death!"
Parkerbolts WILL RETURN, I promise. But someone asked for this. Blame them!
This one hurts everyone it touches. In the bad place.
A perfectly valid perspective!
I have no idea, maybe they didn't want to spoil the story on the cover so it's Random Gimp Dude
Not to spoil it, but you'll see quickly on why this one made a lot of people really, really mad.
>They don't know me.
Yeah they do, Slade. You are, in fact, all of those things.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate insipid narration that tries to sound deep, but is actually really stupid?
This is the writer who did the New52 Mr. Terrific series that was mostly boring
The best result of this series was some inspired filk from Judge Anon
let's save it for when it's relevant
This was also the period of putting captions with everyone's name and powers on the page, for convenient reference
Even though I was also royally pissed over this thing, think of it this way: Our man took the bullet for Jaime, Kate, everyone in Power Company, and probably a Teen Titan in terms of being a sacrificial lamb.
Hell, he got one great series that managed to not be ruined by any later characterizations.
And he's sitting in Limbo right now, right? Untouched but also thus unruined?
oh look it's an Identity Crisis flashback, just the thing to endear the comic to us all
Cheshire! With her taped-on clothes, and proof that you really CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country.
Does any woman ever actually stand that way?
I'd like to think that if I were about to brandish a cutlass AND hide a dragon dildo behind my back, I would do it in that exact fashion.
Chesh's unethical baby practices ruined her for me a while prior, but that bit kinda double-ruined her.
>Cheshire! With her taped-on clothes, and proof that you really CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country.
To be fair, it's not like she's all that compelling without the reputation for being so evil even other villains don't like her.
>Does any woman ever actually stand that way?
Nope. Not unless they do so for a living.
That was one of the clearest cases of an author writing mad in direct response to another book
Fuck, it was cathartic, too
>CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country
Hey Dredd nuked a country and people still love him. In fact Garth Ennis says it's the act that made him love the character the most
I want to know how this got through Editorial at all, honestly
I also want the internal emails about the Roy and the cat page
Deathstroke's shitty kids will pursue him into the New52, he'll never escape
I had mixed feelings on that one, on one hand I can't see Huntress having a threesome with her friend and CFJ should be ignored when possible but on the other hand Hal/Zinda should absolutely be a thing
That's true, it's more that we get the same godawful plots with them rehashed over and over again
There's no way Hal and Zinda didn't bang at least once
These pages. These fucking pages. Behold.
Ah, Tattooed Man... Vaguely reminded us that Green Lantern has a set of rogues that have nothing to do with space.
It's a largely self-cleaning orifice, at least
and this is where I spare you bad yaoi discussion, right?
Yes! She's actually great. She deserves to be in a better comic again.
After all this time, you thought I was exaggerating? I'm kind of sad, anon.
In other news, anyone remember hearing a song who's main riff sounds like a sped up "Another One Bites the Dust" (dun dun dun dadadada) with the lyric "I'm lonely"?
My brother heard it on the radio and won't stop bugging about it
See, it's got to be like a self-cleaning oven, though.
Getting haunted by vengeful ghosts is a thing in the DCU. It's worth telling people you're about to murder that you're not going to kill their kids, or hell, even tell them who they're supposed to haunt instead of you.
Ryan only shows up to die, I wasn't counting him as a cast member
speaking of vaginas, today was my first time using reusable products and it was pretty sweet, so thanks to you fine folks who recommended them during that one storytime (was it Tarot or Naked Justice? I don't recall)
yeah, he got resurrected at the end of Blackest Night
true, we did read NAKED JUSTICE
I think I was probably going to make some bad joke about yaoi's self-lubing assholes
it was NAKED JUSTICE, that was one hangover
I think NAKED JUSTICE was also about redressing the cosmic imbalance of dicks vs. boobs on /aco/
Advantages of being able to turn into lava: quick clean-up of bits of TP?
I saw a book a year or so back that basically was about how fucked over the legal system would be because of the existence of superheroes. It'd be impossible to prove anything beyond reasonable doubt because of shit like "it was a Skrull infiltrator!"
It was a pretty funny read though, I wish I could remember the name of it now.
I'm not marking people as bought for or not, but old threads do have some indications of when people have been hit so we can aim for COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION
I am suddenly reminded of that Astro City comic where a lawyer gets his client off on the grounds that they couldn't prove it wasn't actually a parallel universe duplicate or something.
Slott Shulkie has a lot of fun with things like that
Rest assured, this comic isn't done being insulting yet
I don't even know what happens past this part
God, this whole book is kinda what got bad about DC during this age. Needless deaths and wanking up how cool and edgy asshole characters are.
oh wow, so witty
we'll hammer this shitty joke into the ground one more time
>she and Dick arranged two dates and we never even saw either
fuck this world
Okay, why was everyone saying that the new 52 was dark and edgy when shit like this was being published back in the old Universe ? it makes no sense
The shitty part is that Secret Six was running a bit before this. So DC actually hijacked the Teen Titans ongoing to make a villain-centric book, when they already had a villain-centric book.
And from just this first issue, I can already say that Secret Six was the superior book.
He gets the ever-living SHIT beaten out of him in Secret Six. It's awesome.
The pendulum swings, because you also got shit like That Sentry Spread
Hey, this is...pretty fukken metal
>So DC actually hijacked the Teen Titans ongoing to make a villain-centric book, when they already had a villain-centric book.
It wasn't about wanking how cool Deathstroke was. Gotta appeal to the gritty Call of Duty crowd.
I know right? She even called him Paris Hilton and he went on a date with her anyway
They just don't remember all the bad shit that happened before New 52.
Kinda like everybody creams their pants over Dickbats when it was just Morrison and Snyder that did a good job. There was still the lackluster Batman title and JLA being pretty shitty too. Even B&R fell flat after Morrison left it.
I don't think he gets killed, but Giganta beats the fuck out of him in Secret Six
We're gonna read that eventually too. Promise.
Oh yeah, this is also the run where Slade is a super, super voyeur.
The shittier part was that ANA with Ryan ended abruptly when this happened, and dumped an emergency Ray arc on readers as if nothing of consequence had happened to the guy they were reading for twntysomething issues.
Wow, that's incredibly awful. I don't blame Simone for taking that really personally, at all.
Hey, Osiris has been through some shit.
His country was attacked by the Four Horsemen of the Apacolypse. His Mother withered away and his father went apeshit and murdered a whole fucking country. And he wasn't around for most of this shit, because his best friend betrayed and ate him. He got better.
That's how Osiris' week's been and now blondie wants him to go turn himself in for justifiably homiciding a member of The Wall's personal death squad.
Also, guys, this run is like 15 issues of shit
that's probably three storytimes, if we're woman enough to take it all
I wasn't on the inside track when it happened, so I don't know what the politics were and how blindsided Gail was, but the Ryan's Godzilla invasion just ends with everything nice and happy and SUDDENLY NEW WRITER AND RAY and I don't think they even sit you down and say "sorry ya'll, deathstroke killed your main character."
Actually, I know the issue number, I'm curious if I can find the solicits for the transition.
I think much of it was that much of early New 52 continued the dark/edgy while at the same time erasing all of the good stuff that came before it. The comics weren't actually worse but there was less hope of calling back to better material.
Dave, I'm not sure I can run 8 issues of this in one go
>years of Marvel 24/7 Event Hell
Are we reaching another one?
We just got news of another X Men crossover and there's like 2-3 other crossovers they told us about before, Secret Wars isn't over yet, and there's that Civil War II thing...
That X-men crossover is so predictable, thematic lineup with the movie and more chances to rehash old events
OH, Remender did an AMA the other day, anyone read?
>at the same time erasing all of the good stuff that came before it
I love to use this page to counter that type of stuff, its like people don't understand that they can come back to the other books at any time they want
>also doin' this sober~
Good. That will allow you to analyze. Spot what's wrong with this book. How it could've been not shit, when instead it's a mess of annoying, whiny characters who don't have the decency to be the least bit compelling.
Villain books can work, but thy can't rely on THE EDGE. Make us give a shit, please.
Didn't they cram in like, three events in very short succession before Secret Wars? And then Secret Wars was one giant event for like ten months? And they've already announced like five crossovers and an event and SW isn't even over?
Marvel is Event Hell, always
I believe there has been an Event book every month since Age of Ultron started? Close to it at least, there might be some space between Axis, Black Vortex, and Secret Wars, but I'm not sure.
In the right hands this would be a black comedy, but instead it's going for RULE OF COOL villains and missing the cool
I heard TV Hawkman hasn't been shirtless, what's up with that?
how the fuck did he get behind her
WHO THE FUCK HOLDS PISTOLS LIKE THIS, WHAT THE FUCK, WHY
Because there's not enough /k/ in their lives
Oh, guys, I might get to go shoot some forest rats for delicious freezer material
You can still go back and read it but for the state of the universe itself it made things feel more depressing. Like the characters themselves didn't have good adventures to lean on.
But the complaints did include a lot of memeing I think.
And if your dad went nuts and murdered a country.
And your mom withered up and died in front of him.
And if your best friend, hypothetically, ate you alive.
And despite all that, all Wonder Girl wants you to do it turn yourself into the authorities that sent the Suicide Squad at you in the first place?
There are some kids who have no business being as gloomy as they are. Osiris is not one.
This is a waste of paper and pixels and everything
Drinking game: drink at every cliche that comes out of Slade's mouth
Oh goodness yes. And I think it broke Roy Thomas.
Age of Ultron started in March of 2013 and ended in June.
Infinity started in August and ended November
Cataclysm started in November and ended in Feburary
There wasn't any thing in March 2014
Original Sin started in April and ended in September, Axis started in October and ended in December.
There wasn't anything this January
Black Vortex started in February and ended in April
Secret Wars started in May and will end January
Avengers: Standoff! will start in February
>now neither of us will be virgins!
(yes, I know, but still)
And Roy was the original "everything is in continuity somehow and I'll make it work" writer.
>drink at every cliche that comes out of Slade's mouth
if i wake up Tomorrow with a bitch of a Hangover, i am blaming you
IF? There is no if, there is only the certain foreknowledge of just how much the Pigeon of Hangovers will be shitting down your throat.
Slade just has thermal imaging. No hints at all prior to use. Sure.
(Yeah, I know I'm nitpicking, since this kind of thing is half-expected in a cape universe, but this story is boring as fuck so it gets no mulligans.)
Slade is keikaku beyond Batman's wildest dreams
As the great philosopher Homer J. Simpson once said: "To alcohol,the cause of,and answer to all of life's problems"!
I don't even have a Proper reaction picture for this
It's been a few years since I read 52, so sue me.
He's still got every right to be an absolutely gloomy bastard.
These threads always like this when a character goes like that, everyone got mad about Jeka being grouchy and mean after going through a horrible and painful transmogrification and didn't just snap back to being the waifu girl she was prior to said horrible and painful transmogrification.
Oh fuck off, Slade. You of all people are going to chastise someone for mourning their dead child?
Actual Deathstroke fans must HATE this book for stripping away all his positive traits.
Oh yeah, that whole Brightest Day vision thingamabob.
Remember Thawne's vision? Or him teaming up with Zolomon? That sure went somewhere, didn't it?
>These threads always like this when a character goes like that, everyone got mad about Jeka being grouchy and mean after going through a horrible and painful transmogrification and didn't just snap back to being the waifu girl she was prior to said horrible and painful transmogrification.
What's the point of putting characters through such awful stuff if it's going to completely change their personality though? We like the characters we do for a reason, it's going to rub people the wrong way when they act different, especially if it's prolonged
Osiris has every right to be angry and moody, but do I want to see him doing it in this book? Hell no
the children are dead, comic. we're the ones suffering.
reminding you about Roy's erectile dysfunction
and getting high
His Mr. Terrific book deservedly sank, and I can't think of anything after it
He went off the map after Terrific. Comic Book DB has literally nothing.
Krul still writes this thing and some other stuff for Aspen.
I think Roy might have had the most really horrible shit wiped clean off his slate
Gay for Justice has the glimmers of what it was originally meant to be. This is just an endless edgefest.
Does Garth count as a legacy? It's not like he was next in line to be Aquaman
but yeah a lot of those felt like editorial mandates
Good one, I thought of him after I posted
Vibe just got massive improvements though, Roy got a whole fucking lot of horrible stuff wiped away
Roy is fixed, but he's just been in a mediocre gaybait comic. Vibe was in a good comic, and now he's so fukken fixed that he gets to be on TV and known by casual viewers as a (different kind of) qt.
>dead child created with hilariously immoral assassin
>lack of arm
>painful prosthetic arm
Yes, Roy has it pretty good now compared to his pre 52 self. Even if he's just clingy and annoying now.
>Where is Mr. Brockman now? And wasn't he here for this announcement
He just told you he disappeared. Disappeared people generally are not present at the announcement of their dissapearance/s.
Apparently, more along the lines of a light-hearted multiversal romp chasing Prometheus.
Yeah, I dunno either.
BRB, I gotta get something warm and chocolate and find some socks, it's cold at night now ;__;
I like to think that Lian's death was the result of a secret artists strike, a protest against occasionally having to draw a character that didn't fit the typical comic book physique. Same with Thin Waller and thin Etta Candy.
What? Makes about as much sense as any other asinine reason one could imagine.
Nah, she's a kid, in a cape book. Literally the only time it hasn't ended like this was because Franklin Richards is a literal Mutant God and Valeria takes after her crazy Godfather.
Okay, STOP. How the hell does Slade have a holodeck? He was operating alone before he recruited his team, yes? So does he have this base with all this tech in it? At least show some staff to make it seem like he didn't just poof the place out of his ass.
Weren't the Black Swans actually Vals? That seemed kind of...wry
Bliss plot incoming! Oh boy, this is some stupid, stupid shit here.
Why is that? What does the comic industry have against kids? Are they mad since kids don't buy their books anymore and they have no choice but to cater to bitchy 40 year olds to merely survive?
Comic book artists are hacks.
(note: when I am all "this is some stupid shit" in a book like this...)
no. no no. Bentley 23 is great.
Also, I think I knew Hickmanvegers was gonna disappoint me when the FF two-part Bentley/Wizard story was mostly AIM Island setup and largely went for naught
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOP--oh, wait
The drug is little kids.
Okay, so Slade is gonna cheat death.
and maybe get his rape on.
I still don't really get what the White Entity's plan was in Brightest Day. Why was it necessary to be so obtuse?
Whatever, at least BD was a chance to let Deadman be cool for a bit, and for Dove to be a qt.
You know you shouldn't be trying to sex if Cheshire isn't even into it. Trying to not get consent from Cheshire is like an Olympic sport, most people can't compete at that level.
Not exactly. Part of the problem is the kids will grow up, and their parents along with them.
Another problem is when you have a kid, you've got to spend a LOT of time focusing and taking care of them and it's kind of hard to think up good interesting stories about that.
A child's also generally going to be a member of a support cast and those are ALWAYS at risk to get hurt or killed.
So you see, it comes down to a number of things, but don't make the moments when the kid is killed or put on a bus any less awful.
thanks for causing a near hot chocolate accident, anon
Jebus, is this Titans, or a Skittles Corps book, here?
So I think the best story we've read about parenthood and little kids is R.E.B.E.L.S. volume 1, hands down, yes?
I will never get over that Jean and young Bobby page. SO LAZY.
except that it's been exceptional memefodder
If by best, you mean "put me on a FBI watchlist for admitting I'd murder a facist, fictional alien child," yes.
I feel like I could come up with a better one (like Alan realizing he needs to parent Todd after twenty IRL years of dickery), but the Deathstoke tequila shots aren't helping.
delicious wonderful Mera, but she was in Blackest Night, too
That's a good parental story but not about babby
Tom Peyer really nailed the particular ways little kids are (unintentional) sociopaths.
>delicious wonderful Mera, but she was in Blackest Night, too
Read BN and BD back to back that time Dave storytimed them. Queen Mera scars the shit out of me.
So thanks, Dave. Thanks to you, I'm afraid of a fictional character.
YES YES YES
We still need Couples Justice League. The Hawks, Arthur and Mera, Adam and Alanna, Apollo and Middy...
I feel like there'd be a giant clique of murder with the Hawks, Mindy, and Mera, and their opposing clique of "people whose names start with A with parents who loved them enough."
...YA'LL? Excuse me? Editors, you suck.
Also, this page, drink and drink and drink for Roy moping.
>Mera and the Hawks hanging out
Basically this book needs a self-aware comedic edge, but it's all SRS BZNS edge.
Mera and Shayera would have a rocking good time. Katar would be all happy that his wife was having a good time.
Exactly. Secret Six had a pretty good balance of black comedy to it.
>those top three panels
That simply must be an intentional joke. Because the alternative is fucking depressing.
>Basically this book needs a self-aware comedic edge, but it's all SRS BZNS edge.
It's also really really BORING. You'd think something this edgy and stupid would be at least ironically entertaining, but nah. It's just dull, with no unintentional laughs to be had.
Take care of yourself anon. And that sounds delicious.
>Mera invites the Hawks to visit Atlantis' historical armory
And nuS6 has the entire female segment of the team sitting out of a fight to watch Aquaman and Catman wrassle. Self-indulgence is always better when everyone else is indulging with you.
There's the occasional tryhard joke that's a bit funny, and then there's a ton of unintentional stuff, IMO
I disliked the Deadman plot really. They went too hard on the "You didn't appreciate life until you died, Boston!" when part of the tragedy of his death was that he was actually a more decent guy than he let on, and there were actually a lot of people who missed him and depended on him.