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Storytime of Pain: Titans: Villains for Hire

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Good evening owls of /co/,

Imagine, if you will, it's 2010. And someone in Editorial thinks "Hey, Rise of Arsenal was a great mini! Let's make it an ongoing...and add Deathstroke! And open it all off with some minority legacy hero death!"

Thanks, Editorial.
>>
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>>77932518
Parkerbolts WILL RETURN, I promise. But someone asked for this. Blame them!
>>
>>77932518
This is probably my least-favorite SoP next to The Crossing, in terms of just not being interesting.

No offense, OP, it's the comics.
>>
>>77932555
Started playing in my head as soon as I read the first bit of narration:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_glan6v05Og
>>
>>77932518
Hello Storyteller.

Time to see what all the fuss is about.

>minority legacy hero death
Oh joy.
>>
How much does this ruin Osiris?
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>>77932518
So who the hell is the dead guy on the cover supposed to be? Gimp Man?
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>>77932628
This one hurts everyone it touches. In the bad place.

>>77932596
A perfectly valid perspective!
>>
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>>77932631
I have no idea, maybe they didn't want to spoil the story on the cover so it's Random Gimp Dude
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>>77932555
>and this...
>...IS MINORITIES IN MATCHBOXES, the only reality-TV game show where we murder Ryan Choi and put him in a small, paper box!
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>>77932621
Not to spoil it, but you'll see quickly on why this one made a lot of people really, really mad.
>>
>>77932555
>They don't know me.
Yeah they do, Slade. You are, in fact, all of those things.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate insipid narration that tries to sound deep, but is actually really stupid?
>>
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>>77932690
This is the writer who did the New52 Mr. Terrific series that was mostly boring
>>
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>>77932705
The best result of this series was some inspired filk from Judge Anon

let's save it for when it's relevant
>>
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>>77932720
This was also the period of putting captions with everyone's name and powers on the page, for convenient reference
>>
>>77932688
Even though I was also royally pissed over this thing, think of it this way: Our man took the bullet for Jaime, Kate, everyone in Power Company, and probably a Teen Titan in terms of being a sacrificial lamb.

Hell, he got one great series that managed to not be ruined by any later characterizations.
>>
>>77932667
Maybe don't have white text in narration boxes that fade to white, letterer?
>>
>>77932741
He also came back anyway.
>>
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>>77932741
And he's sitting in Limbo right now, right? Untouched but also thus unruined?

oh look it's an Identity Crisis flashback, just the thing to endear the comic to us all
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>>77932772
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>>77932766
Nuh uh? He's not dead in the nu52, but he's also only a namedrop.

At least he's probably happy.
>>
I'm ready, bring on the pain
>>
>>77932741
And he got to be manhandled by Aquaman in Brave and the Bold.
>>
>>77932732
>Pfft, nothin' personal, kid.
Really? We're really doing this? Okay.
>>
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>>77932786
Cheshire! With her taped-on clothes, and proof that you really CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country.

Does any woman ever actually stand that way?
>>
>>77932788
Not being currently used is NOT necessarily a bad thing, I'd rather Ryan be a living namedrop than go through something retarded like this again
>>
>>77932795
You should see him do it in NTT when he said it to actual kids
>>
>>77932732
>sorry kid it's not personal.
Quality.
>>
>>77932788
He came back in a Convergence mini.
>>
>>77932732
>nothing personnel, kid
>>
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>>77932809
SHE FEELS NO COLD

also, waxes carefully
>>
>>77932772
Deathstrokewank makes Batwank a breath of fresh air in comparison.
>>
>>77932809
At least Simone made Cheshire's life hell over in Secret Six

>>77932829
TINY HANDS
>>
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>>77932843
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>>77932809
I'd like to think that if I were about to brandish a cutlass AND hide a dragon dildo behind my back, I would do it in that exact fashion.

Chesh's unethical baby practices ruined her for me a while prior, but that bit kinda double-ruined her.
>>
>>77932809
Outside of a photo shoot?
>>
>>77932809
>Cheshire! With her taped-on clothes, and proof that you really CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country.
To be fair, it's not like she's all that compelling without the reputation for being so evil even other villains don't like her.

>Does any woman ever actually stand that way?
Nope. Not unless they do so for a living.
>>
>>77932688
How did someone this awful at dialogue ever get a job in writing?
>>
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>>77932863
That was one of the clearest cases of an author writing mad in direct response to another book

Fuck, it was cathartic, too
>>
>>77932809
>Does any woman ever actually stand that way?
maybe like, if you're a model and they airbrushed your spine that way
>>
>>77932809
>CAN make a character toxic for good by having them nuke a country

Hey Dredd nuked a country and people still love him. In fact Garth Ennis says it's the act that made him love the character the most
>>
>>77932829
>Convergence
Oh, you're right! I should go snag that if my LCS still has a Convergence bargain bin.
>>
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>>77932882
I want to know how this got through Editorial at all, honestly

I also want the internal emails about the Roy and the cat page
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>>77932843
She's still warm from the radiation.
>>
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>>77932902
Well, that's Dredd, he's special.
>>
>>77932863
>At least Simone made Cheshire's life hell over in Secret Six
She had Giganta beat the shit out of Dwarfstar, too!
>>
>>77932886
Gail actually did that twice, but it was in response to a line in Gay For Justice, which this kinda spun out of. I don't blame her for being salty over that.
>>
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>>77932921
ORGY PREP TIME?
>>
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>>77932939
incoming tragic flashback!!!
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>>77932921
That's kind of a cool power tho
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>>77932954
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>>77932902
Judge Dredd is...special.
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>>77932939
He's in the exact right position to spitroast, but noooo. Fucking Deathstroke wasn't into gangbangs before the reboot.
>>
>>77932732

I've heard people credit John's Legion for starting that
>>
just for fun here's a list of DC characters with over 1000 appearances

Saturn Girl is on there!

http://imgur.com/a/tT0vy
>>
>>77932921
Wasn't Morrison building up this guy to be next big superhero after Final Crisis or something? So much for that I guess.
>>
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>>77932962
Deathstroke's shitty kids will pursue him into the New52, he'll never escape
>>
>>77932975
Ewing does it at Marvel. It really turns me off.
I like the old style "Roll Call" way better.
>>
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>>77933000
>>77932978
delicious Imra

trips for me
>>
>>77932978
Nice to see all those Wondy weeklies pay off, she finally passed Dick and got into third place.
She better watch it though
>>
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>>77933018
BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, INCOMING
>>
>>77933000
Crazy to think Slipknot is going to be in a movie, then again all SS stories need some fodder.
>>
>>77933000
Nice trips, but I legitimately like moe Joey and lewd, fun-but-horrible-person Rose.

Not so much Murder Joey and Blow-Up Doll Rose.
>>
>>77933000
Poor Joey will do nothing but be evil now since his dad is evil, and Rose will never be written well again.
>>
>>77933032
Diablo is the people's champ
>>
>>77932930
I had mixed feelings on that one, on one hand I can't see Huntress having a threesome with her friend and CFJ should be ignored when possible but on the other hand Hal/Zinda should absolutely be a thing
>>
>>77933032
Slipknot is gonna be the first to die, right?

>>77933046
I'm afraid that Diablo is gonna be the guy they make us love and then kill to make us feel ;_;
>>
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>>77933035
That's true, it's more that we get the same godawful plots with them rehashed over and over again

>>77933051
There's no way Hal and Zinda didn't bang at least once
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>>77933051
Poor choice of participants; Zinda would probably gone for something slightly different.
>>
>>77932886
>nothing personnel kid
>I'll take care of your problem... PERMANENTLY

How many edgy cliches can this fuck use in one book?
>>
>>77933071
Sure, but he'll at least make it to the third act
>>
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>>77933072
These pages. These fucking pages. Behold.
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>>77932921
Ah, Tattooed Man... Vaguely reminded us that Green Lantern has a set of rogues that have nothing to do with space.
>>
>>77933071
Diablo's most likely dead, but at least he'll get some development. Slipknot is literally cannon fodder.
>>
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>>77933090
Molten Vagina Woman!
>>
>>77933110
>"I'm SLIPKNOT"
>"What, like the band?"
>>
>>77933104
Would you believe Sonar is going to be the villain in a GL arc? He showed up just last week!

I want a Tattooed Man revamp but only if it's the old timey sailor guy.
>>
>>77933125
>Hmm

Do you like what you see
>>
>>77933125
So that's how she earned that nickname. I was thinking an std.:D
>>
>>77933125
So..does Slade still get paid for killing that guy?

I mean, SHOULD he?
>>
>>77933125
>>77933090
best girl

seriously she's the only character worth a shit in this book
>>
>>77933072
Can't they rehash the plots where people are likable?
>>
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>>77933152
>the monistat, it does nothing.jpg
>>
>>77932978
Imra is, oddly enough, one of the few things about Threeboot I'm kind of looking forward to. Her character gimmick for that run sounds pretty cute.
>>
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>>77933166
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>>77933165
No, only assholes and misery
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>>77933166
>I like how you killed that dude with your vagina
>>
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>>77933215
Cliched civilian interruption!
>>
>>77933125
I said it last time and I'll say it again: Poetic justice is not worth having to clean pedophile dick ashes out of your vagina.
>>
>>77933158
Well can the client prove Slade DIDN'T pour molten rock all over the contract's dick?
>>
>>77933072
>Cinder
Is that her? Is this the legendary Molten Vagina Woman at last?
>>
>>77933215
Jean Loring Special, coming right up.
>>
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>>77933240
It's a largely self-cleaning orifice, at least

and this is where I spare you bad yaoi discussion, right?
>>
>>77933161
Shut your whore mouth, Ryan is the qt legacy hero we all deserve.
>>
>>77933125
....... Wow. And I honestly thought you guys were exaggerating.

But no, she really did just kill a guy by melting his crotch with her snatch.

This book is retarded.
>>
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>>77933250
Yes! She's actually great. She deserves to be in a better comic again.
>>
>>77933239
Why do people think it's reassuring to know "It's not personal." Don't you want your killer to be personal instead of killing you for an insignificant reason?
>>
>>77933275
I can't imagine there not being UTIs associated with this specific kind of murder.
>>
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>>77933287
After all this time, you thought I was exaggerating? I'm kind of sad, anon.
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>>77933275
It's bad enough getting sand in it at the beach.
>>
>>77933299
It's what you say when you like the guy you're going to kill for money.
>>
>>77933166
>that implied rape backstory
Oh this just gets better and better, and with further questions being raised.
>>
>>77933290
No doubt.

In other news, anyone remember hearing a song who's main riff sounds like a sped up "Another One Bites the Dust" (dun dun dun dadadada) with the lyric "I'm lonely"?

My brother heard it on the radio and won't stop bugging about it
>>
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>>77933311
>>77933314
>>77933305
See, it's got to be like a self-cleaning oven, though.
>>
>>77933275
Since when have we ever shied away from stupid yaoi?
>>
>>77933299
Getting haunted by vengeful ghosts is a thing in the DCU. It's worth telling people you're about to murder that you're not going to kill their kids, or hell, even tell them who they're supposed to haunt instead of you.
>>
>>77933290
Is Cheshire in a battle stance or is she rubbing Slade's back with her elbow?
>>
>>77933311
Didn't Sobek kill this guy in 52?
>>
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>>77933336
>>77933332
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrZZfaDp02o ?
>>
>>77933311
>brown hair
FUCK YOU, ARTIST

WRONG ATOM
>>
>>77933283
Ryan only shows up to die, I wasn't counting him as a cast member

>>77933275
speaking of vaginas, today was my first time using reusable products and it was pretty sweet, so thanks to you fine folks who recommended them during that one storytime (was it Tarot or Naked Justice? I don't recall)

>>77933357
yeah, he got resurrected at the end of Blackest Night
>>
>>77933347
The latter
She knows being a mercenary is hard work
>>
>>77933365
THANK YOU
No he can leave me alone!
>>
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>>77933341
true, we did read NAKED JUSTICE

I think I was probably going to make some bad joke about yaoi's self-lubing assholes

>>77933371
it was NAKED JUSTICE, that was one hangover
>>
>>77933311
You're right, that's my bad. I should've known someone would write something that ridiculous into a comic.


I can't even really be mad at that, it's just silly.
>>
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>>77933392
Slade, your track record is...
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>>77933392
>NAKED JUSTICE
Horrors.

I can read Crossed...but that was too much.
>>
>>77933336
Speak for yourself, I have to clean bits of toilet paper out of mine.
>>
>>77933395
As assasination technique's go, it's pretty damn effective, must play merry hell with any given forensic's team.

God, imagine being CSI in a Superhero universe, it'd be awful.
>>
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>>77933410
>>77933413
I think NAKED JUSTICE was also about redressing the cosmic imbalance of dicks vs. boobs on /aco/
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>>77933369
It'll be right when they kill off the minority Atom!
>>
>>77933413
Dave, if women shut down as hard about tits and vag as you do over dick, all progress in the world would grind to a halt forever.
>>
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>>77933424
Advantages of being able to turn into lava: quick clean-up of bits of TP?
>>
>>77933371
>(was it Tarot or Naked Justice? I don't recall)
It was Naked Justice. It was surprisingly dull, so we started discussing periods.

That was a weird night.
>>
>>77933427

I saw a book a year or so back that basically was about how fucked over the legal system would be because of the existence of superheroes. It'd be impossible to prove anything beyond reasonable doubt because of shit like "it was a Skrull infiltrator!"

It was a pretty funny read though, I wish I could remember the name of it now.
>>
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>>77933448
Our pastebin:

http://pastebin.com/0jKyyDvj

I'm not marking people as bought for or not, but old threads do have some indications of when people have been hit so we can aim for COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION
>>
>>77933427
I am suddenly reminded of that Astro City comic where a lawyer gets his client off on the grounds that they couldn't prove it wasn't actually a parallel universe duplicate or something.
>>
>>77932705
Impressive work for someone without Pym Particles.
>>
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>>77933466
Slott Shulkie has a lot of fun with things like that
>>
>>77933427
>CSI in a Superhero universe
How and why is that not a thing? I would read the shit out of that.
>>
>>77933369
Don't be angry it's just a small mistake
>>
>>77933445
Then so be it.

>>77933448
>quick clean-up of bits of TP?
I swear I have a reaction image for that
>>
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>>77933495
THANKS, TEAM. TASTEFUL!
>>
>>77933466
Astro City had a bit about a Lawyer getting a Mob Boss off by blaming supervillains for him killing a girl.
>>
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>>77933514
Rest assured, this comic isn't done being insulting yet
>>
>>77933514
Walk it off
>>
>>77933495
I want Slott to have a come-to-jesus moment and get back to those days. The old Slott would be unironically right at home at post-Disney Marvel.
>>
>>77933495
>We will never get Shulkie vs. Kate Spencer in a lawyer showdown

I don't want to live on this planet.
>>
>>77933448
>>77933476
>I know moves you haven't even thought of.
I despise that Deathstroke has gone from formidable arch-enemy of the Teen Titans to "that kid". It's disgusting.
>>
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>>77933531
Me too, me too.
>>
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>>77933571
I bet someone thought this was clever.
>>
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>>77933583
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>>77933529
I don't even know what happens past this part

God, this whole book is kinda what got bad about DC during this age. Needless deaths and wanking up how cool and edgy asshole characters are.
>>
>>77933583
Is it worse than GIANT GRAVE WITH CHAINS?
>>
>>77933555
Oh god, this is actually Nemesis Kid impersonating him, isn't it?
>>
>>77933555
And he uses the fact he fought the guy Ryan's Legacying for. Below the fucking belt.
>>
>>77933532
Speaking of Kate and wasted potential, she and Dick arranged two dates and we never even saw either.
I wanted Damian being around Ramsey and Kate's ex being pissy about Dick.

;_;
>>
>>77933583
Every time. My sweet prince, they know not what they do.
>>
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>>77933591
oh wow, so witty

we'll hammer this shitty joke into the ground one more time
>>
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>>77933592
IT GETS WORSE.

Really. Promise.
>>
>>77933596
Are you talking about burying Goliath in a fucking tarp? Because they're both pretty awful and dehumanizing.
>>
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>>77933608
>she and Dick arranged two dates and we never even saw either
fuck this world
>>
>>77933635
It's so fucking awful
>>
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>>77933583
>>77933571
Okay, why was everyone saying that the new 52 was dark and edgy when shit like this was being published back in the old Universe ? it makes no sense
>>
>>77933583
"Minorities in matchboxes" never really caught on as a phrase, did it

>>77933596
And a tarp!
>>
>>77933571
Tell me that faggot gets killed in another book.
>>
>>77933365
Is it just me, or is Matt Fraction in that band?
>>
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>>77933646
>>
>>77933592
The shitty part is that Secret Six was running a bit before this. So DC actually hijacked the Teen Titans ongoing to make a villain-centric book, when they already had a villain-centric book.

And from just this first issue, I can already say that Secret Six was the superior book.
>>
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>>77933654
He gets the ever-living SHIT beaten out of him in Secret Six. It's awesome.
>>
>>77933650
Being dead honest, shit like this is why I became a Marvel person over DC back in the day.
>>
>>77933650

Because people don't read comics.
>>
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>>77933650
Selective memories. Very selective.
>>
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>>77933662
>You don't understand, no one does
>>
>>77933650
Memory is a very self-serving thing.
>>
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>>77933685
The pendulum swings, because you also got shit like That Sentry Spread

Hey, this is...pretty fukken metal
>>
>>77933664
>So DC actually hijacked the Teen Titans ongoing to make a villain-centric book, when they already had a villain-centric book.
It wasn't about wanking how cool Deathstroke was. Gotta appeal to the gritty Call of Duty crowd.
>>
>>77933646
I know right? She even called him Paris Hilton and he went on a date with her anyway

>>77933650
They just don't remember all the bad shit that happened before New 52.
Kinda like everybody creams their pants over Dickbats when it was just Morrison and Snyder that did a good job. There was still the lackluster Batman title and JLA being pretty shitty too. Even B&R fell flat after Morrison left it.
>>
>>77933161
So of course she's the only one who dies
>>
>>77933606
You know what? I hope so. At least that's Nemesis Kid's actual power.

Modern Deathstroke just beats everyone because editorial's huge boner for him makes him invincible.
>>
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>>77933654
I don't think he gets killed, but Giganta beats the fuck out of him in Secret Six
>>
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>>77933696
We're gonna read that eventually too. Promise.

Oh yeah, this is also the run where Slade is a super, super voyeur.
>>
>>77933709
Living tattoos can be a pretty rad power.
>>
>>77933677
Well now I just want to see that!
>>
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>>77933726
>>
>>77933664
The shittier part was that ANA with Ryan ended abruptly when this happened, and dumped an emergency Ray arc on readers as if nothing of consequence had happened to the guy they were reading for twntysomething issues.
>>
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>>77933740
anon just delivered for you!
>>
>>77933726
>>77933742
Unf yes
>>
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>>77933749
Wow, that's incredibly awful. I don't blame Simone for taking that really personally, at all.
>>
>>77933749
Jesus, really? That's pretty fucked up
>>
>>77933709
Yo, in the years of Marvel 24/7 Event Hell and post-52 and Countdown, I checked out of comics for years. The nu52 at its worst wasn't that bad.
>>
>>77933696
Hey, Osiris has been through some shit.
His country was attacked by the Four Horsemen of the Apacolypse. His Mother withered away and his father went apeshit and murdered a whole fucking country. And he wasn't around for most of this shit, because his best friend betrayed and ate him. He got better.

That's how Osiris' week's been and now blondie wants him to go turn himself in for justifiably homiciding a member of The Wall's personal death squad.
>>
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>>77933778
Also, guys, this run is like 15 issues of shit

that's probably three storytimes, if we're woman enough to take it all
>>
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>>77933805
hey it's Sex Luthor
>>
>>77933805
You mean 2!
>>
>>77933789
>>77933709
I Remember reading a lot of shit from 2005-2010
and i really don't remember it being that horrible, Christ, what happened ?
>>
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>>77933827
>>
>>77933805
We went through it once, we can survive it again.
>>
>>77933778
>>77933782
I wasn't on the inside track when it happened, so I don't know what the politics were and how blindsided Gail was, but the Ryan's Godzilla invasion just ends with everything nice and happy and SUDDENLY NEW WRITER AND RAY and I don't think they even sit you down and say "sorry ya'll, deathstroke killed your main character."

Actually, I know the issue number, I'm curious if I can find the solicits for the transition.
>>
>>77933650
I think much of it was that much of early New 52 continued the dark/edgy while at the same time erasing all of the good stuff that came before it. The comics weren't actually worse but there was less hope of calling back to better material.
>>
>>77933805
That lower left panel looks really off and creepy
>>
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>>77933832
Dave, I'm not sure I can run 8 issues of this in one go
>>
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>>77933885
also doin' this sober~
>>
>>77933726
>>77933742
Delicious Doris.
>insert obligatory bitching about how underrated and underused the Wonder rogues are here

>>77933749
I swear, comic companies hate their readers.
>>
>>77933789
>years of Marvel 24/7 Event Hell
Are we reaching another one?
We just got news of another X Men crossover and there's like 2-3 other crossovers they told us about before, Secret Wars isn't over yet, and there's that Civil War II thing...
>>
>>77933885
We'd probably hit bump limit anyway
>>
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>>77933908
oopsie!
>>
>>77933881
It's a little weird when they remember that you can sometime see people's faces through tight masks.
>>
>>77933925
>Are we reaching another one?
Did it ever stop?
>>
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>>77933925
That X-men crossover is so predictable, thematic lineup with the movie and more chances to rehash old events

OH, Remender did an AMA the other day, anyone read?
>>
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>>77933957
>>
>>77933872
>at the same time erasing all of the good stuff that came before it
I love to use this page to counter that type of stuff, its like people don't understand that they can come back to the other books at any time they want
>>
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>>77933964
this page is actually funny
>>
>>77933944
Probably not but maybe I'm just more aware of it all now
>>
>>77933789
Dark Reign was GOAT and you know it.
>>
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>>77933983
>>
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>>77934000
>>
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>>77933881
>>
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>>77934013
>>
>>77933908
>also doin' this sober~
Good. That will allow you to analyze. Spot what's wrong with this book. How it could've been not shit, when instead it's a mess of annoying, whiny characters who don't have the decency to be the least bit compelling.

Villain books can work, but thy can't rely on THE EDGE. Make us give a shit, please.
>>
>>77933957
Also I'm not the only one getting kinda creeped out by Teen Jean and Old Logan's interactions, right?
>>
>>77934018
What cute baby blues he has
>>
>>77933990
Didn't they cram in like, three events in very short succession before Secret Wars? And then Secret Wars was one giant event for like ten months? And they've already announced like five crossovers and an event and SW isn't even over?

Marvel is Event Hell, always
>>
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>>77934018
whew, not the only one thinking that
>>
>>77933931
Poor Osiris is so bad at not murdering people.
>>
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>>77934036
nope, it's creepy
>>
>>77933925
I believe there has been an Event book every month since Age of Ultron started? Close to it at least, there might be some space between Axis, Black Vortex, and Secret Wars, but I'm not sure.
>>
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>>77934083
In the right hands this would be a black comedy, but instead it's going for RULE OF COOL villains and missing the cool
>>
>>77934053
All their events are so shit I don't even remember when they happened.
Original Sin and Axis were 2014-2015, right?
>>
>dat Hawkman with the eyeliner in the Flarrow crossover flashback scene

wew lads
>>
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>>77934032
hey, I can do analysis drunk
>>
>>77933983
>Not all of us.
Holy shit, kid. Get a blog, jot your thoughts down in an angst journal, buy a Linkin Park CD.... Just shut the fuck up!
>>
>>77933871
Huh, so my timeline was off and that handoff happened in 2008, but they did randomly boot off Gail's Ryan for Remender's Ray with no transition. Then the book got canceled.
>>
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>>77934121
I heard TV Hawkman hasn't been shirtless, what's up with that?

how the fuck did he get behind her
>>
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>>77934109
WHO THE FUCK HOLDS PISTOLS LIKE THIS, WHAT THE FUCK, WHY
>>
>>77934146
I forget, was he shirtless in Smallville?
>>
>>77934117
I think so

and Infinity, Death of Wolverine and AoU were all around there too
>>
>>77934127
Wouldn't be bummed if you kept killing people on accident?
>>
>>77934121
Pics when
>>
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>>77934149
Because there's not enough /k/ in their lives

Oh, guys, I might get to go shoot some forest rats for delicious freezer material
>>
>>77934121
pics pls

>>77934155
no
>>
>>77934149
>I'm so gangsta xD
>>
>>77934173
Oh, I meant in general.
>>
>>77933981
You can still go back and read it but for the state of the universe itself it made things feel more depressing. Like the characters themselves didn't have good adventures to lean on.

But the complaints did include a lot of memeing I think.
>>
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>>77934171
in case you forgot Carla was Italian
>>
>>77934109
THIS IS A WASTE OF HI-FI COLORS
>>
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>>77934192
>>
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>>77934212
>>
>>77934146
He was shirtless in the flashback, not in the modern times though. They should fix that.

>>77934170
>>77934173
Sorry senpai, no screencaps. I watched it ondemand on TV.
>>
>>77934167
And if your dad went nuts and murdered a country.
And your mom withered up and died in front of him.
And if your best friend, hypothetically, ate you alive.
And despite all that, all Wonder Girl wants you to do it turn yourself into the authorities that sent the Suicide Squad at you in the first place?


There are some kids who have no business being as gloomy as they are. Osiris is not one.
>>
>>77934192
If you're not saying MAMMA MIA or singing about mozzarella, you're not reminding people of your Italian heritage correctly.
>>
>>77934146

He was shirtless in the Egypt flashbacks!
>>
>>77934188
I always wondered, did people people complained back when the original crisis happened or not ?
>>
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>>77934201
This is a waste of paper and pixels and everything

Drinking game: drink at every cliche that comes out of Slade's mouth
>>
>>77934171
Hey, no talking without vocal cords.
>>
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>>77934249
Oh goodness yes. And I think it broke Roy Thomas.
>>
>>77934260
I'll start now, how many do I owe you? Four?
>>
>>77934249
Fuck, sorry for the extra people
>>
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>>77934281
Now he's, like, sumo dude
>>
>>77934117
Age of Ultron started in March of 2013 and ended in June.
Infinity started in August and ended November
Cataclysm started in November and ended in Feburary
There wasn't any thing in March 2014
Original Sin started in April and ended in September, Axis started in October and ended in December.
There wasn't anything this January
Black Vortex started in February and ended in April
Secret Wars started in May and will end January
Avengers: Standoff! will start in February
>>
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>>77934284
at least
>>
>>77934281
Roy Thomas' books all got six kinds of FUCKED OVER. I'm sympathetic, even though I appreciate CoIE more than any other event book ever.
>>
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>>77934308
>now neither of us will be virgins!

(yes, I know, but still)
>>
>>77934310
God it is emblematic of events that even with planning, multiple books got the shaft
>>
>>77934227
Of ALL the people to not accidentally kill, Osiris manages to not take down Deathstroke.

Of fucking course.
>>
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>>77934310
And Roy was the original "everything is in continuity somehow and I'll make it work" writer.
>>
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>>77934260
>drink at every cliche that comes out of Slade's mouth
if i wake up Tomorrow with a bitch of a Hangover, i am blaming you
>>
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>>77934337
What we've all dreamed of doing!
>>
>>77934293
Wow, I can't believe they got Gaiman's permission to use Despair.
>>
>>77934237
Andrea was his sister senpaitachi
>>
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>>77934339
IF? There is no if, there is only the certain foreknowledge of just how much the Pigeon of Hangovers will be shitting down your throat.
>>
>>77934356
Adrianna I mean
>>
>>77934319
Maybe Cheshire is one of those people who thinks "virgin" means somebody who hasn't had sex in like a month.
>>
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>>77934375
For instance, this is a mandatory drink.
>>
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>>77934337
>mfw this storytime
>>
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>>77934390
Slade, getting moral on her ass? LOL.
>>
>>77934308
>>77934319
Slade just has thermal imaging. No hints at all prior to use. Sure.

(Yeah, I know I'm nitpicking, since this kind of thing is half-expected in a cape universe, but this story is boring as fuck so it gets no mulligans.)
>>
>>77934389
Maybe she had reconstructive surgery after Lian or her other baby she doesn't send child support to.
>>
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>>77934406
Slade is keikaku beyond Batman's wildest dreams
>>
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>>77934260
As the great philosopher Homer J. Simpson once said: "To alcohol,the cause of,and answer to all of life's problems"!
>>
>>77934390
>You should be
Oh, go fuck yourself.
>>
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>>77934428
>>
>>77934375
>>
>>77934390
Fuck. I'm caught up.
>>
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>>77934449
>>
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>>77934402
I don't even have a Proper reaction picture for this
>>
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>>77934472
>>
>>77934356
It's been a few years since I read 52, so sue me.
He's still got every right to be an absolutely gloomy bastard.

These threads always like this when a character goes like that, everyone got mad about Jeka being grouchy and mean after going through a horrible and painful transmogrification and didn't just snap back to being the waifu girl she was prior to said horrible and painful transmogrification.
>>
>>77934402
Especially about tearing families apart?
>>
>>77934402
Oh fuck off, Slade. You of all people are going to chastise someone for mourning their dead child?

Actual Deathstroke fans must HATE this book for stripping away all his positive traits.
>>
>>77934487
I don't think you understand what character assassination is, sempai, one of those situations is not like the other
>>
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>>77934402
>>
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>>77934486
>>
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>>77934538
Uhoh...
>>
>>77934519
Yeah Deathstroke Infinite Crisis onward is pretty bad in general but this is one of the worst.
>>
>>77934486
Oh yeah, that whole Brightest Day vision thingamabob.
Remember Thawne's vision? Or him teaming up with Zolomon? That sure went somewhere, didn't it?
>>
>>77934569
Baby Boomer got fucked. :(
>>
>>77934487
>These threads always like this when a character goes like that, everyone got mad about Jeka being grouchy and mean after going through a horrible and painful transmogrification and didn't just snap back to being the waifu girl she was prior to said horrible and painful transmogrification.
What's the point of putting characters through such awful stuff if it's going to completely change their personality though? We like the characters we do for a reason, it's going to rub people the wrong way when they act different, especially if it's prolonged

Osiris has every right to be angry and moody, but do I want to see him doing it in this book? Hell no
>>
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>>77934565
the children are dead, comic. we're the ones suffering.
>>
>>77934472
>What have I become?
An annoying teen version of your dad.
>>
I wonder what became of Wallace now? Where is he?
>>
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>>77934585
reminding you about Roy's erectile dysfunction

and getting high
>>
>>77934583
I'm certain Johns had plans for him. No other reason to kill him off like that.
>>
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>>77934619
>>77934613
His Mr. Terrific book deservedly sank, and I can't think of anything after it
>>
>>77934613
Thankfully gone, just like Kru. Beyond that, I don't care.
>>
>>77934585
Roy, no! Run away!

Did any single character benefit more from the reboot than Roy?
>>
>>77934649
OMAC
>>
>>77934629
All of the legacy hero deaths in Blackest Night felt very editorially mandated, especially Garth and Damage.
>>
>>77934638
>>77934619
I am starting to think that this is worst then Fucking gay for Justice
>>
>>77934649
Vibe?
>>
>>77934672
They probably were, but does anybody really care about those characters though.
>>
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>>77934613
He went off the map after Terrific. Comic Book DB has literally nothing.

>>77934643
Krul still writes this thing and some other stuff for Aspen.
>>
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>>77934649
I think Roy might have had the most really horrible shit wiped clean off his slate
>>
>>77934710
I cared about Damage, Johns did an amazing job developing him in JSA.
>>
>>77934619
This is a great reminder of how bad Lian's death was from a character writing perspective.
>>
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>>77934700
Gay for Justice has the glimmers of what it was originally meant to be. This is just an endless edgefest.
>>
>>77934672
Does Garth count as a legacy? It's not like he was next in line to be Aquaman

but yeah a lot of those felt like editorial mandates

>>77934702
Good one, I thought of him after I posted

Vibe just got massive improvements though, Roy got a whole fucking lot of horrible stuff wiped away
>>
>>77934730

So he's pursued a job outside comics.
>>
>>77934766
What was it originally supposed to be?
>>
>>77934769
Roy is fixed, but he's just been in a mediocre gaybait comic. Vibe was in a good comic, and now he's so fukken fixed that he gets to be on TV and known by casual viewers as a (different kind of) qt.
>>
>>77934731
>>77934649
>dead child created with hilariously immoral assassin
>heroin
>lack of arm
>painful prosthetic arm
>erectile dysfunction

Yes, Roy has it pretty good now compared to his pre 52 self. Even if he's just clingy and annoying now.
>>
>>77934798
He's probably making more bank than he did when writing this junk.
>>
>>77934731
>Where is Mr. Brockman now? And wasn't he here for this announcement

He just told you he disappeared. Disappeared people generally are not present at the announcement of their dissapearance/s.
>>
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>>77934803
Apparently, more along the lines of a light-hearted multiversal romp chasing Prometheus.

Yeah, I dunno either.
>>
>>77934827
Maybe he's enjoying himself more too
>>
>>77934855
I think every person in comics would be happier if they didn't work in comics.
Wally Wood ;_;
>>
>>77934852
I'd like to think that aside from Mik's boyfriend exploding, Mik and Congorilla's parts got through unscathed.

Nigga had plans to make Mik a thing :(
>>
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>>77934852
BRB, I gotta get something warm and chocolate and find some socks, it's cold at night now ;__;
>>
>>77934852
I'll be honest. I like the sound of that. Seems like a great way to introduce and tour all the new universes brought in by 52.
>>
>>77934755
I like to think that Lian's death was the result of a secret artists strike, a protest against occasionally having to draw a character that didn't fit the typical comic book physique. Same with Thin Waller and thin Etta Candy.

What? Makes about as much sense as any other asinine reason one could imagine.
>>
>>77934852
It was going to be like Multiversity but by Robinson, that would be fun
>>
>>77934914
Nah, she's a kid, in a cape book. Literally the only time it hasn't ended like this was because Franklin Richards is a literal Mutant God and Valeria takes after her crazy Godfather.
>>
>>77934969
Sometimes they get aged up
>>
>>77934969
And even then, with Franklin it was a bit Touch and Go for a bit because he came back from the Future and went a bit kekoo.
>>
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>>77934969
And Secret Wars may get them both, too
>>
>>77934852
Okay, STOP. How the hell does Slade have a holodeck? He was operating alone before he recruited his team, yes? So does he have this base with all this tech in it? At least show some staff to make it seem like he didn't just poof the place out of his ass.
>>
>>77934969
Do we even know where those two are now? I haven't heard Franklin or Valeria being mentioned anywhere in ANAD yet.

What if they die in SW
>>
>>77935023
They probably age up, I bet Valeria's a titty monster and everything.
>>
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>>77935056
Weren't the Black Swans actually Vals? That seemed kind of...wry
>>
>>77935015
Bentely might die too
>>
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>>77935096
Bliss plot incoming! Oh boy, this is some stupid, stupid shit here.
>>
>>77934969
Why is that? What does the comic industry have against kids? Are they mad since kids don't buy their books anymore and they have no choice but to cater to bitchy 40 year olds to merely survive?

>>77935056
>Valeria
>titty monster
Comic book artists are hacks.
>>
>>77935096
>Weren't the Black Swans actually Vals?
Nope.
That was just speculation.
>>
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>>77935115
(note: when I am all "this is some stupid shit" in a book like this...)

>>77935100
no. no no. Bentley 23 is great.
>>
>>77935131
THE BOY MUST DIE
I mean, for something interesting to happen
>>
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>>77935131
Also, I think I knew Hickmanvegers was gonna disappoint me when the FF two-part Bentley/Wizard story was mostly AIM Island setup and largely went for naught
>>
>>77935131
The drug is little kids? I'll drink.
>>
>>77935151
Robinson wrote a surprisingly good Bentley/Wizard in his short run.
I enjoyed them in that.
>>
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>>77935151
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOP--oh, wait

>>77935156
The drug is little kids.
>>
>>77933166
>Panel 5
>Can I kill him with my vagina from here?
>Panel 6
>You were thinking about killing me with your vagina, weren't you?
>>
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>>77935189
Okay, so Slade is gonna cheat death.

and maybe get his rape on.
>>
>>77935096
I still don't really get what the White Entity's plan was in Brightest Day. Why was it necessary to be so obtuse?

Whatever, at least BD was a chance to let Deadman be cool for a bit, and for Dove to be a qt.
>>
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>>77935204
>>77935209
Mantadickery, too
>>
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>>77935221
>>
>>77935204
You know you shouldn't be trying to sex if Cheshire isn't even into it. Trying to not get consent from Cheshire is like an Olympic sport, most people can't compete at that level.
>>
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>>77935233
>>
>>77935119
Not exactly. Part of the problem is the kids will grow up, and their parents along with them.
Another problem is when you have a kid, you've got to spend a LOT of time focusing and taking care of them and it's kind of hard to think up good interesting stories about that.
A child's also generally going to be a member of a support cast and those are ALWAYS at risk to get hurt or killed.

So you see, it comes down to a number of things, but don't make the moments when the kid is killed or put on a bus any less awful.
>>
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>>77935247
thanks for causing a near hot chocolate accident, anon

Jebus, is this Titans, or a Skittles Corps book, here?
>>
>>77935233
So many emotions, so little panel time.
>>
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>>77935257
So I think the best story we've read about parenthood and little kids is R.E.B.E.L.S. volume 1, hands down, yes?
>>
>>77935270
It's not copypasted, tho, small victories.
>>
>>77935221
And Mera, don't forget Mera.

For the love of all that's precious, don't forget Mera. ... Or she'll find us all, and she'll be mad.
>>
>>77935285
absolutely
>>
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>>77935285
>>77935292
I will never get over that Jean and young Bobby page. SO LAZY.

except that it's been exceptional memefodder
>>
>>77935264
Is Osiris literally coming out of Cheshire eyes ?
>>
>>77935264
dat ass
>>
>>77935316

That's one thing that makes it worth it to come back to /co/. If something truly stupid happens, chances are we'll get some good jokes out of it at least.
>>
>>77935264
>beamsbeamsbeams
>>
>>77935292
Yes I am impressed by this artist
>>
>>77935285
If by best, you mean "put me on a FBI watchlist for admitting I'd murder a facist, fictional alien child," yes.

I feel like I could come up with a better one (like Alan realizing he needs to parent Todd after twenty IRL years of dickery), but the Deathstoke tequila shots aren't helping.
>>
>>77935285
>R.E.B.E.L.S.
Goddammit, Lyrl.
>>
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>>77935300
delicious wonderful Mera, but she was in Blackest Night, too

>>77935356
That's a good parental story but not about babby
>>
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>>77935402
>>77935395
Tom Peyer really nailed the particular ways little kids are (unintentional) sociopaths.
>>
>>77935402
Oh no, not the Dominators!
>>
>>77935402
I kind of want the actual Dominators to show up now.

And kill everyone.
>>
>>77935209
I'd rather have obtuse dick White Entity over the stupid Kyle wank we got later
>>
>>77935436
I feel like I've seen this cover a million times already.
>>
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>>77935454
anyone got the sexy dominator pic at hand?
>>
>>77935402
>delicious wonderful Mera, but she was in Blackest Night, too
Read BN and BD back to back that time Dave storytimed them. Queen Mera scars the shit out of me.

So thanks, Dave. Thanks to you, I'm afraid of a fictional character.
>>
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>>77935508
>>
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>>77935525
YES YES YES

>>77935514
We still need Couples Justice League. The Hawks, Arthur and Mera, Adam and Alanna, Apollo and Middy...
>>
>>77935554
I feel like there'd be a giant clique of murder with the Hawks, Mindy, and Mera, and their opposing clique of "people whose names start with A with parents who loved them enough."
>>
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>>77935554
...YA'LL? Excuse me? Editors, you suck.

Also, this page, drink and drink and drink for Roy moping.
>>
>>77935454
Well, these Dominators are making super drugs. That's kind of SCIENCE-y.

>>77935525
Was that issue written by Giffen? Because this wreaks of him taking the piss.
>>
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>>77935600
Didn't you see The Matrix, Roy?
>>
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>>77935662
NO JUNK
>>
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>>77935554
>Mera and the Hawks hanging out
BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
>>
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>>77935689
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY

Basically this book needs a self-aware comedic edge, but it's all SRS BZNS edge.
>>
>>77935689
What did you think was going to happen, Roy?
>>
>>77935714
Jesus, priorities, man.
>>
>>77935714
Hey, the third panel made *me* laugh.
>>
>>77935689
Strategic hand placement!
>>
>>77935714
EAT THE BOY
>>
>>77935714

More Punisher 2099, less.. well whatever it is now.
>>
>>77935714
Sorry, OP, I've hit my limit of booze. I'm making some coffee mug cake instead, I'll add some rum in tribute to Ken Doll kids.
>>
>>77935711
>Mera gets to try on an nth metal belt
>The Hawks encourage her to use a mace
DEATH, RAINING FROM ABOVE
>>
>>77935765
>Mera with a mace

PANIC
>>
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>>77935711
Mera and Shayera would have a rocking good time. Katar would be all happy that his wife was having a good time.

>>77935757
Exactly. Secret Six had a pretty good balance of black comedy to it.
>>
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>>77935714
>>
>>77935714
>those top three panels
That simply must be an intentional joke. Because the alternative is fucking depressing.

>Basically this book needs a self-aware comedic edge, but it's all SRS BZNS edge.
It's also really really BORING. You'd think something this edgy and stupid would be at least ironically entertaining, but nah. It's just dull, with no unintentional laughs to be had.
>>
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>>77935765
>Mera with a mace
>>
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>>77935762
Take care of yourself anon. And that sounds delicious.

>>77935765
DRAWFRIEND WHERE????

>Mera invites the Hawks to visit Atlantis' historical armory
>>
>>77935776
>>77935793
now imagine her with the red ring on top of that
>>
>>77932518
So I finally get to see what I missed when I dropped the Titans
This is going to be painful
>>
>>77935778
And nuS6 has the entire female segment of the team sitting out of a fight to watch Aquaman and Catman wrassle. Self-indulgence is always better when everyone else is indulging with you.
>>
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>>77935810
>>
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>>77935794
LOL

>>77935790
There's the occasional tryhard joke that's a bit funny, and then there's a ton of unintentional stuff, IMO
>>
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>>77935810
>>
>>77935209
I disliked the Deadman plot really. They went too hard on the "You didn't appreciate life until you died, Boston!" when part of the tragedy of his death was that he was actually a more decent guy than he let on, and there were actually a lot of people who missed him and depended on him.
>>
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>>77935820
It sure is!
>>
>>77935841
How am I supposed to take this seriously?
>RAHH WHERE'S MY SISTER
>You were dreaming, dude
>RAHH WHERE'S MY SISTER
>Ask that guy
>RAHH WHERE'S MY SISTER
>>
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>>77935875