All-New X-men 001 storytime

I just can't get over that they keep launching new X-Books that suck and many of them say "Hopeless" right on the cover.

Aaa I want to do this storytime, but the site wouldn't let me because I had to wait a while before I can make a new thread.

oh well next time
>>77876328
We live an era where Dennis Hopeless might be the best mutant writer

Some might call it an Hoepless era

>>77876355

the dream is dead. (again)

My husbandu is in this, pls be good

>>77876419

FUCK! just tell us already.

>>77876301
THANK YOU!

>>77876367
>hoepless
You fuck it up now killyourself

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>>77876529
No problem.

>>77876463

cyclops fanboys are out of control

>>77876578
Marvel not only hates Cyke, but all those enlightened by his Rightness and not sucking Inhumancock.

Feels bad man

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>>77876640
You know why Cyclops is a shit driver? Because he can never make left turns, only right ones.

>>77876588
>Jean tries to bang someone, gets rejected.
>Someone wants to bang Scott, gets rejected.

MUTIES GO HOME.

>>77876516
Tykeclops! F*k Yeah!
Here to save the MuthaF*kin day yeah!
Tykeclops! F*k Yeah!

>>77876559
I rather not

>>77876649
>Evan loves shoes.

That's . . . not a minor trait I ever expected from this character. Like, I think it only exists for this little psuedojoke.

>>77876649
>tons of shoes

>>77876742
>that dancing

A-are we getting Evan/Bobby?

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>>77876832
And that's it for this issue. Hope you all enjoyed the storytime and I'll leave you with this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkOJ9uNj9EY

>>77876808
Did, um, he, j-just CONTROL HIS OPTIC BLASTS?!?

>>77876860
I liked it. I liked it alot. The 05 kids are kinda fun but I was here for Tyke and Hopeless delivered.

Thanks OP.

So: overall generic almost indistinguishable generic personalities, an overabundance of characters, characters powers acting as they need to for the plot's convenience, a general void regarding compassion from any character . . .

If characters were being killed off, I'd say it was Avengers Arena all over again.

>>77876884
I liked this easily 2 times more than that mess Extraordinary.

>>77876952
Sadly, even though I think it's pretty shit, Extraordinary is honestly more of a mess than this.

>>77876368
Angel has robo wings again?

Wait, nevermind, I don't even give a shit.

>>77877011
You just summarized Angel overall.

>>77876786
X continues to give it to ya.

>>77877011
It was that Black Vortex mess cosmic dealt with a while ago.
Some stupid Cosmic artifact that unlocks someone's ultimate potential via cosmic energy or something.
Angel saw how much adult him had suffered and was like "Fuck it, can't be worse", jumped in, and got energy/light wings.

>>77877011
Space Genie wings from the GOTG crossover no one bothered to read.

>>77876808
I think he over exerted himself, back in the day Cyclops could only absorb so much solar energy.

>>77876516
Goon Platoon, real muties or MGH users like Aaron's SHIELD spys from WATX?

>>77876660
I laughed so hard I drooled. Thanks for the storytime.

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>>77876368
>X-23 appears in two X-Men books
>Both times she falls off something
>Both times she's saved by Angel, her boyfriend
>Somehow these two books were written by separate writers

>>77876367
Now back up senpai we still need to see Uncanny X-Men before making that call.

>>77877260
Strange, isn't it

>>77877135
>I think he over exerted himself, back in the day Cyclops could only absorb so much solar energy.

which is nice . . . had his powers not been retconned into being dimensional portal-eyes for punches from the punch dimension.

>>77876447
Kid Apocalypse?

>>77877260
>>77877277

It's almost as if her hooking up with Angel was a completely arbitrary and poorly thought out move that has no actual depth to it at all.

>>77876685
Tykeclops would fit in perfectly with Storm's anti-Right brigade.

I'm going to remain frustrated with this franchise until someone indicates that there is a real plan for sending the kids back and preserving the timeline.

>>77876447
Who is it? Evan?

The X-Books are really bleak, aren't they?
I loved it, but I feel very sad in my heart.

>>77876588
No Scott. You did exactly what Ronda would have done.

>>77877299
Powered by solar energy.

>>77877374
Not unsurprising. Hopeless often has that effect with his writing. You're entertained, but you don't really care.

>>77877091
Then he commited Mass murder, no?

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>>77877374
Yeah, it certainly does feel Hopeless

>>77877391
I love it when a reference is dated by the time it's published.

>>77877396
I'm no big X-Book reader, but I don't think that's even been a plot point for like 30 years.

>>77877411
I wouldn't say that I don't care. It is a strange feeling

Unironically, that anon >>77877438
put it best

Overall, it was good. Very short, but good.

>>77877339
At least he has legit grievances and this will lead to character development.

Storm and the Anti-RIght just wanna bitch, bitch, bitch.

>>77877429
Yes. But it's ok, he made X-23 feel bad because she used to kill.
Double standards?

>>77877265
Which is why I said 'might' instead of saying that he is.

When is Uncanny X-men out anyway?

>>77877469
>>77877299
Kid Cyclops is from a time before those retcons.

>>77877471
Good, but it feels hollow? Like it's not going anywhere? That's why you'd also call it that?

Sorry, just trying to understand. I know it's confusing you, but it's confusing me as well.

>>77877516
Next month.

>>77876301
I liked it. Thanks OP.

>>77877528
That literally doesn't apply because of the nature of the word: Retroactive Continuity. It goes back and changes things from the past. The George Orwell approach to history.

>>77877571
Y-Yes. Thank you anon.
Thank you for your help.

>>77876797
Ah sweet, I love Bamfs.

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>>77877277
>>77877260
>>77877337
They even have the same conversation of: >Angel: "I don't like seeing you hurt even" >X-23: "I instantly regenerate and have dull pain reception what's the big deal lol?"
>Then they kiss

Laura was written slightly better than in her solo, somehow. But it's still strange to me that not even three years ago she was still basically a robot. I understand characters need to evolve but Laura barely feels like the same character.

>>77876368
So they're saying that the future refused to change?

>>77877719
You're welcome!

>>77877790
Moreso here. Hopeless has her in generic action girl mode. Her solo still has her presented as 'cool', not the openly emotional creature Hopeless did.

Which is really sad, because she was one of the few characters Hopeless was close to getting right in Avengers Arena.

>>77877135
>Space Genie wings from the GOTG crossover no one bothered to read.
From what I see, seems like everyone read it.

>>77877429
>>77877487

Haha, you're kidding, right?
I barely followed Black Vortex, did Angel kill a bunch of people for no good reason?

>>77876860
>Hopeless, the writer of AA, the series that existed to kill teen Marvel characters makes a suprisingly really good issue of a new X-Men featuring teen muties.
Huh. Also, Young Cyclops is still cool, somehow.

>>77877881
Yes, he, Beast and Gamora were all powered up and killed bunch of Kree.

>>77876301
> genesis is in the book

Fuck now I have to read this shit

At least anon is saving money.

>>77877881
He went NUCLEAR on them Hala-ites. But since Hala is somehow attached to tht cow Carol, I didn't feel a speck of pity as I read it.

>>77877912
Oh c'mon, when do aliens count?

>>77877930
Were they at least the bad guys they were keeping the Vortex from, or was it a stupid "RAAR I HAVE NEW POWER CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF" rage?

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>>77877930
Added visual representation

>>77876367
A terrible era.

>>77877973
Literally the latter, but they could control themselves.

>>77878008
Gotcha, Teen Titans level stupid.
I'm still gonna buy this for Evan but thanks for letting me know what I was getting into.

>>77878045
That whole event was ignored. Teen Angel's mass murdered were ignored right after the event ended, but he got to keep his energy wings. It shouldn't affect this book, desu.

>>77878045
The only way to know what you're getting into is to remember that this is the same guy who wrote Avengers Arena/Undercover, and managed to make a city full of monsters dealing with a rage virus boring.

Hopeless in every sense of the word.

>>77878045
>Teen Titans level stupid.
Speaking of, this month's issue of that wasn't that bad actually

>>77876355
>We were told society moves forward.
>That progress never stops.
lol, Whig historians
tell that to the Frankish empire

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>>77876855
>A-are we getting Evan/Bobby?
Why stop at making Iceman's past self gay and therefore his present self too, when you can go on and retcon Apocalypses clone gay and therefore Apocalypse.
I guess all those times he tried to kill 99% of the human population were just him working out his issues of being in the closet for 5000 years.

>>77876855
Oh my fucking god if marvel pulls this shit again so help me Remender

>>77876301

Thanks OP.
My only complain is Laura's voice. But overall pretty solid issue. I liked it.

>>77876722
>Thirst
>spits water
An ironic codename is still better than one that directly references your own powerset.

>>77877608
I like how he is still immune to Havoc though despite the fact that he has literally no energy absorption whatsoever AND Havok also uses a completely different engergy from his.

>>77876463

Okay, this is approaching Superboy Prime levels of commentary/awareness.

Reminds me of that Planetary where a guy goes crazy because he knows he's a comic character and the company won't stop fucking around with his origin and it gets more and more depraved and convoluted.

>>77878280
>Evan being gay

I'd be very upset. Though they've kind distance Evan from regular Apocalypse, but still. Remember when Deadpool gave Evan porn? I do. It was one of the best scenes in years.

Also what the fuck happened to Hope? Not that Generation Hope or AvX wasn't shit but still. Wasn't she the mutant messiah for like 10 years?

>>77878468
>Wasn't she the mutant messiah for like 10 years?

You know what they do to mutants and messiahs? Crucify 'em

It was ok. I will mainly read this for Evan though.

>>77878468
Exactly, the guy has stash of porn courtesy of deadpool, one of the most touching scenes in comics btw, he reads regular porn, and constantly flirted with sprite

>>77878424
I just want evan and hope to end up together, just to see Cable's face

>>77878590
So did Iceman.

>>77876419
gayfag here

Young hank is looking handsome, and Evan while not my type could probably slay gothic pussy.

>>77878590

Iceman dated girls for 50 years. They'll do what they want whether it makes sense or not and their isn't a thing you can do about it.

Whatever happened to present-Angel anyway?

He got new powers, a mind wipe, and then just disappeared.

>>77877608
DAMN IT, ICEMAN IS GAY.

>>77878668
What's so hard about to actually making a good gay character from the ground up, instead of lazily making an established character gay? Not only is that lazy but it destroys any important moments that that character had that are tangentially related to his sexuality

Liked it more than extraordinary, Tyke has legit reasons to be angry

>>77878694
But that's stupid, that's so fucking stupid.

>>77878854

Yes. Yes it is. The only thing to do is learn not to care.
Stop caring about the things you like anon before they are ruined, it's inevitable.

>>77878810
Because making one from the ground up requires giving them traits outside of "LOOK HOW FUCKING GAY I AM. I SURE DO LOVE DICKS". Granted, that happens to most gay characters anyways (With some notable exceptions)

>>77878951
The Gentry truly has won.

>>77876447
It's hopeless, mate.

>>77876797
'dorbs

>>77876679
Isn't Cyclops from only around 15 years ago? He shouldn't be this surprised about it.

This issue has my respect, they assembled the teams in one issue and haven't srewed up so far

>>77877265

>Land

I feel so sorry for Bunn

>>77879402
Kind of. He's from 50 years ago in real time, so if the technology at the time he left was at 1960s level, it would be jarring seeing where we are now.

Even if his technological jump was only 15 years in real time, that's still in the floppy disk era. We've come a long way in a short amount of time.

As a reference point, remember that season of Buffy where the floppy disk was the McGuffin? That was 17 years ago.

>>77877135
>I think he over exerted himself, back in the day Cyclops could only absorb so much solar energy
Except he is controling them on the first panel just fine.

>>77879092
I haven't yet rad miultiversity, can you elaborate?

>>77878810
new characters don't sell unless they've been someone's sidekick for five years
Marvel's legacy affliction is like a virus

>>77880310
The last truly "New" Characters that didn't have to use others characters as a crutch like that which managed to succeed were the Runaways and Jessica Jones.

This issue was great, it was fun and Bagley's art made me feel like I was reading an Ultimate comic during the good days.

Also Tyke is awesome. Maybe... maybe there's hope for this book after all.

I liked it. It has some solid story so far and is moving pretty fast (maybe too fast).

It doesn't seem... what was the word that was used? Hopeless.

>>77880554
Feel free to read a super decompressed bendis arc...I love that it works as part of something big and as whole

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>>77876301
sexy beach volume when?

Good book

>>77876441
Why would him firing optic blasts matter in terms of detection? His power is always stuck in the on position which is why he needs his visor.

>>77876840
>>77876649
It's because he's black isn't it?

while were talking about Hopeless, where the hell has Hope been anyways?

>>77881485
LImbo, where she deserves to be for being a traitor

>>77880372
>Jessica Jones
Alias was entirely about her interactions with other heroes. Literally her first case was Captain America.

man I thought they got over their shitting on cyclops

>>77881485

Last seen as the new leader of X-Force before Secret Wars.

Probably on the MIA list in the current day.

>>77881485
Last time I remember seeing her was the end of the most recent X Force run. Have a feeling after Secret Wars she may be gone for good

>>77881554
But he wasn't a main character.

Having stuff like that doesn't always help. Anyone remember True Believers?

>>77881557

I just want the whole story of what went down, stop dragging it out and just stab me in the face already. The longer they wait the less satisfying it will be when revealed and will probably just piss people off more with how it's handled.

>>77881746
It's already pissing people off because it's so ham handed and arbitrary. They are literally just doing this to anger fandom and get sales and that shit does not last.

>>77881779
plus the longer it goes without being revealed, the more it seems like the world is overreacting since we can't see the damage and everything else seems to be running as normal

>>77879402

there was no facebook 15 years ago.
Privacy still existed
The internet was mostly anonimous

>>77876649
So Hank TARDISed a Winnebago?

>>77882013
Possibly the only good decision he's made

why does marvel hate cyclops so much anyway?
yeah mutants inhumans movie rights, but they haven't turned the other x-men in the worst villains ever
yeah controversy sells, but this is straight out character assassination
not even tony during CW or wanda after no more muties got it so bad

>>77881877
Tyke comes from the 60's, there weren't even cellphones...

>>77876879
I think his youth means he cannot store too much energy yet, even tho it's still more than what he can countain. So, the first time, he discharged the excess energy, and the second time he fired what was left.

>>77882403
I think with the eye portal theory, he can't keep his portal openend long enough without getting exhausted, so that's why he fainted

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>>77876860

X GON GIVE IT TO YA

Also, thanks.

>>77876879
originally he always had the potential to control his optic blasts but he couldn't because of a psychological block.

>>77876419

>Increb

Is that a typo or are kids seriously saying that nowadays?

>>77883334
Considering how "bae" became a thing because apparently saying/typing one extra letter is too hard for people, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a common phrase

Anyone have a link to ANAD Avengers, Nova, Guardians of Infinity, Daredevil, Inhumans, or Howard the Duck story times?

>>77876404
They should have made her fix iceman

>>77885114
>>77885114
Are you incapable of just checking the catalog and archive? Hit ctrl-F then type "storytime."

>>77876588
>memes

This was 10 times better than that Extraordinary x-men garbage.
Thanks alot OP.

does this feel like ultimate spider man x men to anyone else? Not just because of Bagley either

I'm up to the part where the ghosts of cyclops come in and the quips feel idk USM like and Bagley isnt helping matters although I enjoy his art and think he is doing a good job

How old is X-23 even supposed to be by now?

also who is the black girl and what can she do

>>77887585
>How old is x-23
young adult around her 20, which maker older than angel
>who is the black girl
Oya, one of the five lights or mutants after M-day, she can control fire and ice with her hands.

Also i hope we see more of Evan in the next issue, he is a pretty cool character and i dont like this theories of him being gay just because he likes shoes, it feels like something hopeless will do

>>77887585
>also who is the black girl and what can she do

Idie's one of the new mutants who manifested thanks to Hope during the period where No More Mutants was still in effect.

She controls temperature, so she can basically transform hot into cold and vice versa, creating fire or ice

>>77887735
>>77887766
So a weaker version of Crystal. X-Kafkas

>>77887840
you know that isnt a bad idea if inhumans vs x-men ever happen i would like to see Idie get rekt by crystal, no that i have something against mutants but she is the worst light.

>>77876832
Laura actually looks fine as fuck on the wolverine costume when they draw her with her body type and not short and wide like in her solo.

>>77879402
Public Security Agencies could get all your infor from private databases on the internet 15 years ago. Some private investigators and identity thieves too.
Nowadays literally anyone can steal your life. Hell, you made it public info yourself.

>>77882143
Wolverine, Storm and Gambit may be more popular but if there is someone who embodies the X-Men franchise, it's Cyclops.

Pretty good issue. I hope they continue with Past Scott hates what his current self became. Maybe make some great character changes. Plus the new team is nice.

>>77876441
I've read every damn recent X-Men comic I can get my hands on, can someone please tell me the name of the run Cyclops' death they keep bringing up happens in?????

>>77889158
I though it was Secret Wars but in Extraordinary X they blamed the Inhumans?

>>77889158
None yet. It happened at some point in hte time skip.

>>77889190

Unrelated. Cyke died some time during the timeskip after SW ended and 616 returned to normal.

>>77876797
>tfw no pet Bamf

>>77888906

What? Cyclops is actually the most important and most popular x-man between the actual x-book readers. He was ranked 1 two times in a row in cbr x-books.

>>77880372
but that means it can be done, hell I wouldn't mind something like what Kamala did with the miss marvel title, but god damn actually make a new character if that's what you want to write, don't shit all over an established one just so that you can rack some points with the SJW crowd.

>>77890074
They're literally hell maggots that took on Kurt's form as part of some deal.

>>77891874
Kurt's current body is made up of several of those maggots

>>77891669
You are aware that Runaways and Jessica Jones are literally over a decade old now and we haven't had an independently new IP that stuck since from Marvel?