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Through highly illegal means, I sat down and watched all two

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Through highly illegal means, I sat down and watched all two hours of this five-million-dollar masterclass of how not to put any actual effort into adapting a cartoon for the silver screen. Even the "Transformers" movies were closer to the original cartoons than "Jem and the Holograms" was.

If you have any questions, or wish to chastise me for reminding you that this film exists, feel free to reply with anything that comes to mind.

Oh, and it turns out that the mid-credits Misfits scene includes all four of the Misfits, including Jetta. Unfortunately, what little we saw of Stormer portrayed her as kind of a bitch, so I have a feeling that if a sequel were to happen, then it would still be ruined.
>>
>sequel
Last I heard this thing tanked pretty hard. No need to think about it.
>>
>>77861036
>if a sequel were to happen

Yeeeeeaaaaaah I don't think that's going to be an issue.
>>
I couldn't make seven minutes before tapping out.
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>>77861036
You know it did so terrible they straight up pulled the film out of theaters, right?
>>
>>77861087
after 2 weeks. I wonder if you mailed them a ticket stub and asked for a refund if they would honor your request?
>>
>>77861036

It's funny how Hollywood keeps using our nostalgia for cash grabs and yet completely fucks it up.

>Oh, thought slapping a name you recognize on the title would of been enough!
>>
>>77861054
>>77861056
Oh, yeah, I'm sure it won't get a sequel. Hell, at some point in my viewing I was like "They should have just started the movie with whatever the sequel would be."

>>77861078
You did your best, and there's no shame in your defeat.

>>77861087
Yup. Kind of sad, really. Usually they let stuff fester for a full month before pulling it.

>>77861240
I'm under the impression that several other /co/mrades had, that the movie was originally your standard "local band becomes big, falls apart, and gets back together" story with a dash of YouTube, later given a pinch of Jem, finally served with a message about being true to yourself and paving your own destiny.
>>
Holy shit, I just checked the credits again to get a screencap of the girls who played the Misfits, and it turns out Christy Marx was in the goddamn movie.
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>>77861316
Here she is as "Lindsey Pierce, Editor for Rolling Stone". She's the one who asks Rio what the band wants to be called, and he responds with "Jem and the Holograms".

It's almost symbolic.
>>
Do any of the girls reveal their underpants at any point in the movie?
>>
Does this movie cross at all into the so-bad-it's-good territory?
>>
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I had an idea a while back for a more action-oriented Jem reboot where they use their musical instruments as weapons to fight villains. Maybe it was a terrible idea but I thought it could have been fun.
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>>77861316

Huh. Samantha Newark (Jem's voice) and Britta Philips (Jem's singing voice) cameoed in it too.

Ok then wtf, they obviously knew enough about the original to get these women to cameo. What the hell happened?
>>
http://www.avclub.com/review/jem-and-holograms-gets-bizarre-cut-rate-adaptation-227301

Still the best review.
>>
>>77861792
Nope, sorry.

>>77861904
Not at all. It's either so-bad-it's-dull or just plain boring. There aren't any scenes that stick out as particularly cringeworthy or actually funny.

>>77862070
They probably got them to cameo in the hopes it would result in good press. Obviously, that was a pipe dream.

Here's Samantha Newark's cameo. I'll look for Britta Philips' cameo next.
>>
>>77862070
>>77862340
I believe this is her. She's the stage manager at one of the most highbrow, "most exclusive" spots in LA, where Jem and company play to a crowd of no more than 50 people.

Also, for reference, Sam Newark is the hair stylist for Jem. She remarks that pink has always been her favorite color.
>>
>>77861036
That Misfits credits appearance reminds me of the "Azula" appearance at the end of The Last Airbender. They just thought for sure they were getting a sequel out of that shitty movie.
>>
>>77862440
Pretty much. It almost makes me want to see a sequel just to see how badly they fuck it up further.

I wonder if they actually brought the movie overseas to try and salvage what they could and at least break even.
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>it's not even set in the 80s
>jerrica is some whiny hannah montana ripoff

JUST
>>
Soooooooooooooo


was this like the cartoon where its a girl named Jem who can transform and stuff and save the day?
OR


was it like Josey and The Pussycats movie only it took itself WAY too seriously? Cause I remember seeing the trailer and wondering why this movie played up more like some sorta dumb Cinderella story about some all girl garage band
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>>77862879
It's literally "YouTube-tier band gets too big for its own good, so they drift apart and have to rediscover the value of friendship over celebrity" like every other after school special bullshit about teen bands.
>>
I still find it hilarious this film only cost 5 million to make and it still bombed at the box office.
>>
>>77863184
So nothing like the god damn cartoon its based off of.

Got it. Good job whoever decided on that.
>>
>>77861036
Remember this film is really just Pitch Prefect 3 with Jew and the Holograms name just slapped on top of it!
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>>77864069
>Jew and the Holograms
Jew and the Pogroms
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>>77864141
>Jew and the Holocaust
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>>77864172
Oy Vey...
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>Unfortunately, what little we saw of Stormer portrayed her as kind of a bitch,
That's the point, numbnuts. She's a Misfit, she ALWAYS acts like a bitch IN PUBLIC. And ESPECIALLY to her manager.
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>>77862396
yeah that's britta, I remember seeing her in Frances Ha, I love that movie
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>>77861316
>Kesha
I'm glad it failed.
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>>77865590
...you're happy a movie that perfectly casted a character failed?
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>>77865597
>Perfectly casted
>>
>>77861036
>Pitch Perfect
>Never Say Never

Thems' some magnificent credentials.
>>
>>77865612
...yes, Kesha is a perfect casting choice for Pizzaz.

Do you even watch/read Jem?
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>>77865642
>Do you even watch/read Jem?
Reading is irrelevant, but yes I have. Still say that she'd be shit.
>>
>>77865658
>Reading is irrelevant
Roxy, get off the Internet.
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>>77865642
>>77865658

the comic is ok but the pacing feels rushed (probably because they didn't know if they would get cancelled because of how bad the movie was) and they totally wrote themselves into a corner with kimberxstormer
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>>77865996
Or they will expand on it.
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The Spanish Wikipedia article about Jem and the Holograms movie it's spot on.
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>>77862879
The latter.

>>77863384
And the sad thing is that the studio won't suffer for it. All they have to do is make another shlock horror film and make all that money back. Hell, they already did make up for the "Jem" loss, if I recall.

>>77864357
I don't recall that from the cartoon, but it's been a while since I binge-watched the series.
Still, it was off-putting for me.

>>77865590
>>77865597
>>77865612
>>77865642
>>77865658
The problem with Pizazz's portrayal in the credits scene is that there was far too little actual scene to see if anything good might come out of the portrayals, and the portrayals we got were honestly average at best. Even Ke$ha's Pizazz was middling, though mostly because the writer opted to give her three lines of dialogue that dropped any sense of character or motivation she could have had for a motivation built entirely upon stealing Rio away from Jem.

There wasn't any energy in the Misfits; they literally just stood around, talked to Erica Raymond, and went into their trailer.
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 9


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