JSA Storytime: Parkerbolts

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>>77853937
Holiday pastebin, as of right now:

http://pastebin.com/0jKyyDvj

Also, it's Arrow/Flash night, so I'm gonna start slow.

>>77853937
Hello Storyteller.

>The infamous Moonstone boob grab, uncensored!
..... I'm getting too old for this shit.

>>77854020

No one's too old for titties, bruh.

hey

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>>77854020
it's 100% redeemed by who does it, anon

your waifu is safe

>>77854120
Y HALO THAR

>>77853968
>Florida
Woo!

>>77854231
>Your waifu is safe.
Well I kind of expect her to just kill whoever cops a feel, really.

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>>77854231
And now, a short primer on the

GIANT-SIZE
MAN-THING

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>>77854372
Is there Hawkman on TV tonight? Can it be real?

I expect some reports in during commercial, you guys.

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>>77854564
BTW, my contribution to /co/'s christmas cheer is gonna be

LOTS OF CLASSIC SOPs!

>>77854564
If they didn't deserve it, Man-Thing wouldn't've done'em harm. Simple as that.

>>77854613
Yay

>Man-Thing is the closest Florida has to having its own superhero
I'm not sure how to feel about that.

>>77854675
Be happy. It's a pretty boss hero.

>>77854675
Are you kidding, it's great!

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>>77854675
Man-Thing is fucking awesome, be glad

Also, there's always Florida Man, but he is truly the world's worst superhero.

>>77853937
oh boy oh boy, lemme just get lunch

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>>77854761
HEY LOOK WHO IT IS :D

(that's Jennifer Kale. Later on, Bendis was awful to her, but wiki tells me she was back in the recent Elektra run that no one read for the text or plot, mainly for the art)

>>77854675
According to the DC wiki, you also have Detective Chimp.

So wait did King Hyperion die? I couldn't be that lucky right?

>>77854761
The Steve Gerber Man-THing comcis are suich a trip, I can't imagine what it was like for the readers

> swamp monster comics
> start dealing with environmental issues
> the none issue BAM it's all about Atlantean sorcery and there's a talking Duck running around and a jar of peanut butter turns into a person

Also because it was the Bronze Age there's a clown issue

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>>77854876
He got nuked with the kind of radiation that fucks him up like kryptonite, beaten the shit out of by Juggs and Moonstone, and then Man-Thing'd. Motherfucker's gone.

>>77854876
I think he did?

>>77854951
>>77854952
Fuck yes.

>>77854853
What did Bendis do to her? Do I even want to know?

This is the issue after Crossbones gets kicked out on the swamp walkers dimension?

>>77854853
>Bendis
>treating a female character like shit
Shock! Gasp!

>>77854867
>Detective Chimp
... Okay.

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>>77854945
you know, I think we need to read those, since we've all developed a love for Man-Thing

>>77854973
killed her off casually near the end of New Avengers in a really stupid (and of course, drawn-out) plot that was him basically putting Strange back as SS

>>77855006
no, there's some fun with King Hyperion in the meantime

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>>77855017
Were you with us for Shadowpact? Detective Chimp is great in that series.

>>77855032
WHAT?! As if I didn't already have enough reasons to hate him. Damnation.

>>77855065
Different anon, I missed Shadowpact. Blue Devil is a character I want to learn more about

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>>77855090
I mean, Crossbones gets the shit kicked out of him in 150, this is 154 here

>>77855117
still sad we no get more nu52 Black and Blue

>>77854853
It was actually a pretty good run and not just for the art.

>>77855156
At least he exists, Plastic Man is still a no show, just some hints that Johns still hasn't followed up

Except that he was in JLI, but that was retconned I guess

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>>77855157
I'll give it another look-see, people told me it was pretty bland on the plot front and Blackman's been bland in my experience

>>77855219
thank god for retconning that JLI, frankly

has shirtless Hawkman shown up on TV yet?

>>77855065
>Were you with us for Shadowpact?
No. I expected Detective Chimp to be British or something. Somehow imagining a chimpanzee speaking in a Floridian accent is much more surreal.

Sheriff of Babylon preview

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>>77855340
goddammit

http://www.comicvine.com/articles/preview-sheriff-of-babylon-1/1100-154356/

looks pretty good

>>77855276
You see, Rex the Wonder Dog and Detective Chimp found the fabled Fountain of Youth that Ponce de Leon scoured Florida for. In addition to greatly lengthening his lifespan, it also gave him the ability to speak (he wasn't able to in his earliest adventures, which were essentially stories about Curious George solving mysteries)

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>>77855267
what's out tomorrow other than ASS8? and all the King Comics

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>>77855440
fuuuuck yeah Swamp Thing!

>>77855276
Detective Chimp is also one sardonic bastard, I think you'd like him

>>77855340
>>77855367
Nice

>>77855440
Midnighter! And those two other Vertigo books.

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>>77855469
Look at how complete my memetic contamination is, Swamp Thing? Man-Thing? GODDAMMIT

I am ashamed.

>>77855469

> KRRAACKK

Damn son.

>>77855440
Midnighter, Prez and Gotham by Midnight both wrap up (RIP), Gotham Academy

also holy shit there is HAWKMAN on my TELEVISION

>>77855367
Well, that was dumb. Dropped.

>>77855506
It happens to us all from time to time OP. No worries.

>>77855527
>also holy shit there is HAWKMAN on my TELEVISION
and not only that but Hawkman and Ollie are fighting! this is great

>>77855548
What? What's wrong with it?

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>>77855569
>Hawkman and Ollie are fighting!
YES YES YES

>>77855517
He don't fuck around

>>77855527
>Prez and Gotham by Midnight both wrap up (RIP)
;_;

Has the second Prez mini been solicited yet or do you think they're gonna wait for the trade sales?

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>>77855606

>>77855602
Everything, even the art is Maleev levels of lazy. I felt like I was reading a Bendis comic.

>>77855614
>Has the second Prez mini been solicited yet or do you think they're gonna wait for the trade sales?
no, not yet

If it's not in the March solicits I'm giving up hope

>>77855506
Swamp Thing doesn't have a scary sorceress girlfriend though.

>>77855469
>Detective Chimp is also one sardonic bastard, I think you'd like him
Probably.

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>>77855633
Hah!

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>>77855806
Hey, he has one nice habitat there

I want a greenhouse like that :(

>>77855662
>scary sorceress girlfriend though.
What about Abby Arcane?

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>>77855842
"a mad plant up in your act"

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>>77855935
This run has some really well-done themes of teamwork and non-coercion in it

also beating the shit out of that Hyperion because he sucks

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>>77855968
Aha! We got here straight out of Frankencastle, so it's just good sense that we read one after the other.

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>>77856017
now guess who they're gonna go recruit

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>>77856037
oh look, this is relevant here

http://illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/post/134326197865/immovable-iron-man-3-4-one-day-grey-temples

>>77856037
is it...Samson Estranged?

>>77856037
Dr. Fate?

>>77856037
DOCTOR BONG!

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>>77856130
If ONLY

>>77856086
hah, that's perfect

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>>77856146

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>>77856166
Ahhh, the day Hellstrom decides to mostly wear shirts will be a sad day

Man, is there any kind of genuinely mystical/horror book running at Marvel right now?

>>77855806
>likes Moonstone because she reminds him of his girlfriend
Heh.

>>77856086
Stephen is doing a Constantine cosplay right now, and it's weird. Is this a response to Shadow Lass cribbing Ms. Marvel's outfit for a while?

>>77856236
>Man, is there any kind of genuinely mystical/horror book running at Marvel right now?
is Howling Commandos mystic at all? I didn't read it but the monsters are on the covers

>>77856236
nope. not a one.

though New Avengers is moving towards Hulkling as space King Arthur and Wiccan as his gay Merlin, which is sorta close

>>77855267
Ayylmaos are fucking brutal.

>>77856086
Movies keep on breaking my heart.

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>>77856236
the Thunderbolts have the best ride.

>>77856303
I didn't read it either, hmmm

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>>77856404

Hawkgirl just unlocked her powers/memories by jumping off a building at Hawkman's behest, he's so charming

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>>77856454
that's the Hawkman I know and love!

Dean Cain was a better Vandal Savage

Seeley talking about Suicide Squad a bit

http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/seeley-promises-dark-humor-teases-death-in-new-suicide-squad

>A candid Seeley told CBR News that since he's not familiar with the original team, he won't come to the series with a "fan slavishness" or "reverence," a freedom he believes will free him to do whatever it takes to tell a "damn good story."

>Floyd, to me, is a criminal who is way too smart to still be a criminal. Sure, he was young and dumb once, and he got himself in deep, but he could have gotten out. Got a real job. Made more money than he ever could as a merc. But going straight would have meant a slow death by cheeseburgers and nagging in-laws. The thrill of crime is that Floyd will probably die badly. Legendarily. Impressively. Maybe even tragically. He loves that.

>I think Digger is sort of an Elmore Leonard character, you know what I mean? He's a petty, cruel, horrible little man, but he's hard not to root for. I'm going to be playing up his grudge with Deadshot a lot in my run, because I think it's pretty obvious that what they hate about themselves they see in each other.

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>>77856523
well, it's better than being tied down to an original that was very of its time and the better for it

>>77856434
....Is this supposed to be dramatic?

Songbird seems better at putting up with everyone's shit, and Luke really doesn't want any part of this crap to begin with.

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>>77856601

>>77856612
it's probably setting up some petty revenge murder

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>>77856646
it's setting something up, yes

aaaand the sexual harassment wing keeps rolling!

>>77856612
Maybe it's a bit more dramatic when you're familiar with the original Thunderbolts, where Songbird was very passive.

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>>77856709

>>77856709
Gunna always have those tats on her arm?

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>>77856734

>>77856747
She might have just doodled them on.

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>>77856759
awww yeah time for Warden Badass

>>77856709
This running gag of the female prisoners being the most filthy-minded bitches is kinda great.

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>>77856813

>>77856734
>my feet are cold

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>>77856827
I absolutely love it

Thor's face yesterday was worth the entire issue

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>>77856856

>>77856836
what

>>77856236
Carnage is horror-ish.

>>77856856
>FUCK YOU
>FIREBALL
I think I like Satana already. Gal does not fuck around.

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>>77856879

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>>77856988

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>>77857002
Oh, the Hood...him again...

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>>77857021
>mfw storytime suddenly turns into GIRLS

>>77856988
Oh look on top of everything else Parker can competently write about magic

Scarlet Witch might be horror-y. I read the Uncanny Avengers Annual introducing Emerald Warlock which involved a nazi witch named Von Hate

also the fucking Wizzer was in!

>>77857038
Not afain

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>>77857038
>>77857054
He better be writing something else for DC

>>77857038
>clawed hands
Err, I think I'll be on my way, ladies...

>>77857038
This seems....pleasant.

>>77856988
>There are no hard and fast rules.
And this is why I can't get into mystic capes.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like my magic to be consistent, thank you.

The Detective Chimp talk is making me pray for Legends of Tomorrow s2

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>>77857080
AND THE quality twist

>>77857068
True, I forgot about that

I hope Robinson has his mojo back

>>77857021
Why were they trying so hard to make him happen? What did he bring to the table?

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>>77857127
Bendis? I think Bendis found him SUPER-COOL

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>>77857109
It's consistently cool, isn't that enough?

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>>77857144
malicious code my ass, 4chan

>>77857127

By them you mean Bendis?

>>77857144

the idea of a guy uniting all the various low level villains is cool but it never went anywhere

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>>77857187

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>>77857203
>but it never went anywhere
A Bendis metaplot that never went anywhere? I'm shocked, shocked!

>>77857187
> The Mandrill

His power is rape, why do the Thunderbolts need him?

>>77857187
Is that supposed to be Kl'rt?

>>77857275
sometimes the only way to beat space godzilla is with some solid dick

>>77857224
The Underbolts? MY BODY IS READY

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>>77857224
It'll be later than the holiday, but the seekrit gifting has begun!

>>77857169
>It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit!
>cool
No.

>>77857318
Don't his powers only work on women though?

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>>77857334
Superior Foes fans, I think Spencer read all this and loved it

>>77857275
LOL

>>77857362
Well, I think it's cool.

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>>77857380
Karla is top-notch waifu tier

>>77857362
you just gotta inject enough estrogen into whatever he's fighting that his powers can't tell the difference

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>>77857400
Yeah, the scenes of downtime and shit-talking make me want a Jeff Parker LOSH run

>>77857334
>We're expendable to them.
No shit, Ghost. You're a bunch of super-powered career criminals, meaning the only thing they want from you is to use you as weapons or have you die so the world doesn't have to put up with your shit.

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>>77857422
HERE WE GO

>>77854853
I refuse to believe that is Jennifer solely because she has no ass.

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>>77857444
OH SPEECH BUBBLES

>>77857491
Damn speech bubbles!

>>77857422
>just taking for granted Ghost is spying on him at all times
good Cage

>>77857470
She was disguised as a dude.

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>>77857524
BUT BEHOLD, I deliver.

>>77855842
I may have to rescind my earlier comments upon this girls ass.


Dayum.

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>>77857581
dat Moonstone sulk

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>>77857491
>last panel
>bitch thinks I don'[t see that shit
DAUGHTER OF SATAN OR NOT, I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYONE MOLESTING MY NEW WAIFU.

YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER RIGHT GODDAMNED NOW.

>>77857581
Thanks OP! You really come through.

>>77857444
>>77857491
and now everyone's mind controlled. good job, Luke

Bleeding Cool got a rumor about the artist who's probably taking over Aquaman. Brett Booth

i'm sorry

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>>77857622
>>77857627
:D :D :D?

>>77857581
Some needs to make a reaction image out of Juggernaut's face on this page

>>77857666
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

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>>77857666
FUCK THIS WOOOOOOOOOOOORLD

>>77857638
Actually, thank Comrade, back when I first read this he was all "you know there's an uncensored version?"

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>>77857701
Juggernaut: pfft, outer circle of hell, whatever

>>77857581
>>77857491

Not to be that guy, but...imagine if a male character pulled this crap.

>>77857666
Who is Booth fucking to get these a list titles?

>>77857666
Satan, you need to give your daughter a talk about respecting boundaries.

>>77857674
>Troll want to fight beside Songbird!
Troll is going to be prime daughteru/imouto material, isn't she?

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>>77857737
It would be a pretty different dynamic, then

>>77857745
he's fast and reliable, so he gets a ton of work

ugh

>>77857764
Isn't Satan just missing? All the minor Hell lords and his children are running around

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>>77857768
There are also so many different relationships in this run: filial, teamwork, hate, grudging respect

>>77857666
boooo

he said on twitter that his next project is only five issues, maybe he'll be on Aquaman for the duration of Rise of the Seven Seas

>>77857770

Feminists would have f'ing imploded, too.

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>>77857819
OH LOOK WHO IT IS

>>77857737
>Not to be that guy
So don't

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>>77857841

>>77857732
after the months it took him to dig out from where he was buried alive, Juggernaut finds absoluteley anything is preferable to boredom.

>>77857837
>booth ruining rise of the seven seas

Too horrifying to imagine

>>77857819
Look at alla them pickelhauben.

>>77857701
>Actually, thank Comrade, back when I first read this he was all "you know there's an uncensored version?"

You really shouldn't trust that guy.

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>>77857869

>>77857877
Reis drawing the JL half, Booth drawing the Aquaman half

that's hell of whiplash

>>77857888
hi comrade!!!

I like how Ghost was a totally generic and forgettable character in his first Iron Man appearance, and for Thunderbolts they just completely ignored that and redid his personality as this insane barely-functional autism pile

I'm not sarcastic, it's far better. Sometimes it's best to just ignore old, bad ideas. I keep wishing they'd learn to do that with the stupid Ms. Marvel rape pregnancy story instead of constantly bringing it up and going HEY THAT WAS FUCKED UP WASN'T IT? STILL CANON!

>>77857819
>zombie Nazis
..... Really? Didn't realize we were suddenly reading a Hellboy comic.

>>77857899

Hello Anon!

>>77857491
notice where her and Ghost's legs are

"all my dead lovers at once" indeed

>>77857905
Those look more like WW1 German uniforms (or even older) to me.

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>>77857888
hehehehe

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>>77858000

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>>77858025

>>77857902
Batshit crazy conspiracy theorist Ghost is straight up one of my favourite villains ever.

>>77858000
never been a fan of stuff that depicts Mr Hyde as just being The Hulk reflavored

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>>77858042

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>>77858095
it's a bit different this time

>>77857902
Disagree. Thunderbolts RUINED Ghost by jetisoning everything cool about him (former inventor turned nihilist saboteur that was dangerously genre savy and both had a cool Doctor Doom and Zentai costumes) and making him a worthless Psycho Mantis look-alike conspiracy theory nut.

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>>77858121

>>77858098
>Troll coming to onee-san's rescue
:3

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>>77858136

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>>77858150
and now, a girl and her war-axe

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>>77858172

>>77858134
Yeah.

Thunderbolts Ghost was basically a cliche stock character. OG Ghost was much cooler bad-ass.

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>>77858188

>>77857622
So Satana is replacing Songbird as Moonstone's verbal sparring partner.

Except she's the one doing the bothering in this relationship.

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>>77858237
ewwww

>>77857839
Anon, feminists don't read comics. The only way they would know about it is if somebody put that page up on tumblr.

>>77857888
Yeah man, fuck him.

>>77857905
Your history is a bit off. Nazis aren't the only people to have nice uniforms, you know.

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>>77858259

>>77857905
>>77857995

Few pages ago they said it vanishes in 1911, so yeah. Pre-Nazi.

>>77853937
I just want this cover as a poster. Art Adams is one of the best at monsters.

>>77858274
>Anon, feminists don't read comics
Errm...

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>>77858284

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>>77858368

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>>77858386
Man-Thing is just chilling

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>>77858420

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>>77858447
LUKE DON'T BE PETTY AND STUPID

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>>77858468
;____;

>>77856523
>http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/seeley-promises-dark-humor-teases-death-in-new-suicide-squad

Good fucking grief.

Moving away from the Ostrander incarnation has always been the kiss of death for the franchise. Also he doesn't fucking get Deadshot. Might as well just kill him off and replace him with a Will Smith lookalike called Deathshot and be done with it.

And the lack of mention of Vic Sage scares me shitless. Granted they fucked up with him as badly as they fucked up Trinity of Sin Vic, but seriously, why does DC have such a hate boner for him?

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>>77858485

>>77858150

Troll a great character (along with everyone else in the final TB run), I hope she comes back post-SW.

>>77858504
TROLL IS CUTE

Oh yeah didn't shocker get like voted on the team by fans?

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>>77858504
>>77858552
don't mock the shocker

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>>77858575

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>>77858586
fucking Boomerang, lol

>>77858552
Fans doing something right for once.

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>>77858598
Karla: sick burn

thanks for reading owls, more tomorrow AND the best discussion on /co/ of the day's news comics

>>77858598
He makes Captain Boomerang seem dignified.

>>77858172
>My axe!
2cute

>>77858654
Thanks OP!

hey Vision's getting a letter's page!

>>77858654

Thanks for posting!

>>77858654
>being the last guy who covers your team but gets no cover in return

I know that feel.

>>77858654
Been loving the comic OP, thanks for the dump!

>>77858366
There's a difference between a third-wave feminist, as was being referred to, and an egalitarian who wants to focus on women's rights.

>>77858654
Thanks for posting as always, Storyteller.

>Moonstone
>Songbird
>Satana
>Troll
So many waifus and an imouto. Not sure I'll be able to handle it for much longer.

>>77858420
Aww, Juggy just wants approval... :(

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>>77858654

Thanks m8, this was a fun thread.

>>77858857
makes me sad as well. biased juggs has been my favorite character in this series so far...

>>77858237
Yeah this TOTALLY isn't a set up or anything, they're really gonna let a fresh Chain Gang Superhero team out in the middle of Iraq.

>>77857581
Maaaaan do I miss Satana... Has she been in anything lately?

>>77858420
Chilling is his default state.

Though I'm pretty sure this kind of stress would set him off somewhat.

>>77858485
Man eventually Juggernaut's gonna lose his temper and walk out of that building.

>>77858958
She was in the X-Factor Hell on Earth story, and then the database says:


Daredevil (2011) #32 - 'A Call For Justice?'
The Superior Foes of Spider-Man (2013) #4 - 'Heroes Fight Liars!'

January 2014:
Daredevil (2011) #33

February 2014:
Daredevil (2011) #34

June 2014:
Uncanny Avengers (2012) Annual 01

June 2015:
S.H.I.E.L.D. (2015) #5 - 'Active Mission: Magic Bullets'

Keep in mind that it counts ANY appearance, even a tiny one in one panel

>>77859321
>walk through the building

>>77857362
But he did explain shit.

Sorcerers constantly study and improve their powers, which can be altered by their location, equipment, and even the time of year, all of which matches with mythological depictions of magic.

I mean I'm with you on Bendis style "w/e lol" but magic not being a gun isn't unreasonable-and hell, even a gun can jam.

Goodnight bump

>>77861795

Bump through the night

>>77865112
bump-a-lump

morning bump

>>77857120
She's really got the hots for the giant sized Man-Thing, right?

>>77858134
In my head-canon, they're seprate characters and I like them both.

>>77869884
Son, that's just good taste.

>>77870334
Besides her taste, the artist really gave her an interesting expression. Is there any current title he's drawing? I really like the artwork.

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juggerbump

>>77865377

>>77871716
The most recent titles Kev Walker has drawn seems to be Avengers Undercover and New Hickvengers.

>>77877079
Wasn't A-Undercover the second "season" or Arena? Don't know If I'd touch since. Well, could DL it and look at the pictures ;)

>>77878034
Yeah, it is. Other comics he worked on are Marvel Zombies 3, 4, Battleworld, an Imperial Guard mini, and he got worked on 2000 AD and Judge Dredd like many other British comic professionals.

>>77855469
MANNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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>>77857444
>Woman, what are you doing to that Man-Thing?

>>77857737
Not as sexy.

>>77883253
Get in here faggots

>>77857732
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE